You guys…you guys just amaze me. Your support for this little fic, (and me) astound me. I can't thank you enough!

Our biggest loser this week was Twi-Mom12292005 and our three accomplishments went to Discordia81, maroonlight and TheUnderStudy. They got to see this chapter early as a reward. But their reward is just doing things to improve their lives.

Have you seen this pimped out - like the guest review Bornonhalloween did for the TwiSlash Unveiled blog? Please let me know…I would like to thanks those people who are throwing love at Fattyward.

SexyLexi took her red pen to my ass…and added a shitload of commas. I know I need them…but I swear she is getting a kickback from the comma people.

Melanie made sure I didn't drown in the tub and fixed my tenses…I switch those damn things all the time. Good thing I have a crack team behind me. 'Awaken' is getting ready to wrap up and my girl is at nearly 3k reviews…her talent is overwhelming.

You love me…you know you do…

Week 11

Weight: 299

Total weight loss to date: 64 pounds

I'm leaving for Atlanta in just a few hours, and I'm freaking the fuck out.

I came really close to having to buy two seats, but the company bumped me up to business class at the last second.

I think my boss thought I had lost more weight than I have.

It's not my fault I lost it in my face first.

I've been pacing in front of my closet for an hour.

I've no idea what I should pack.

So I do the first thing that comes to my mind and pick up the phone.

And the second I hear her voice, it calms me.

I cry, "I need help!" and listen to her giggle.

"Give me ten minutes and I'll be over," Bella says.

Thank God.

I get off the phone as soon as possible because I need to clean some shit up if she is going to be in my apartment.

I mean, I'm not a slob or anything.

But I do have some things I would rather hide in a closet while she's here.

Like my action figures.

And my life-sized cutout of Lara Croft.

And the picture I found in the paper of Bella that may or may not be in a frame next to my bed.

What?

She looks hot.

It was from the 5k and they (thankfully) managed to keep me out of the shot.

She is all sweaty and disheveled, but I love it.

Ten minutes later my doorbell rings, and I take a deep breath before I open it…

And then I find I can't breathe at all.

She's standing there…

In my doorway…

In a motherfucking skirt.

Miles of bare leg just begging me to run my fingers down them…

But no.

I invite her in and she takes control immediately.

"So, you need something dressy for the meeting, right? And will you have to do any lunch or breakfast meetings while you're there?" she asks as she takes in what I have already laid out on the bed.

Not much fit me, which was nice, but I also didn't want to go spend a fortune on clothes when I'll only be wearing them for a little while.

There's no use having a closet full of fat clothes.

"I have my itinerary right here. I think I have a lunch meeting on Thursday before I fly home," I explain as I hand her the paperwork my boss sent over.

"Okay, so you need something casual for the lunch and then…dressy…meeting," she mumbles incoherently as she pokes her head inside my closet.

I can't help but gulp as she leans over and one leg pops up off the ground.

If I were to just bend over a little bit…

Just a tiny bit…

I could totally see up her skirt.

But I won't.

Nope.

Not gonna do that.

Oh wait…is my shoelace untied?

What's that?

I'm not wearing shoes?

Damn.

"Here…you can wear this sweater with those gray pants and then have the black dress pants and white button down with that tie for the meeting," she says triumphantly as she pulls a gray and red sweater from the hanger.

I have no idea where she found that damn thing, but it looks like it might actually fit.

She hands it to me and then just stares expectantly.

Does she really want me to try it on in front of her?

I'm not ready for that.

"Jesus, Edward! Fine, I'll turn around," she giggles as she spins on her heel and faces the wall.

I channel my inner Superman and pretend I'm in a phone booth, pulling my t-shirt over my head and yanking on the sweater as quick as lightning.

To me it looks too tight, but the way Bella's eyes widen when she appraises me makes me think it might look okay.

"Wow, Edward. It looks like those overhead presses are really working," she says quietly as she motions toward the mirror.

I stand in front of it and can barely believe it's me.

I mean…

I'm still big but the sweater clings to my shoulders, making them look broader-which in turn-makes my waist look smaller.

Huh.

Bella stands next to me and my eyes drift to her.

She is so damn small and for a second I try to look at us objectively.

If I were to see us out somewhere, I would still wonder how a slob like me scored a hottie like her.

So it is with a sigh that I push any thoughts of 'us' out the window and thank her.

Her smile warms my heart as I walk her to the door.

"So where you going all dressed up?"

Her cheeks flame pink and she looks down at her hands as she hesitates and just like that, I know…

She has a date.

"I finally caved and am letting Jake take me out to dinner," she whispers, and I try and breathe through the pain.

"Well, that sounds like fun. Have a great time, and I'll call you to schedule a session when I get back."

She looks up at me like she can sense the difference in my tone, but I need to get her out of here.

I'm desperately close to a breakdown…

And I don't want her to see.

She leans up on her toes and brushes those super soft lips against my cheek, smelling like vanilla and girl and I lean into her kindness.

Her scent infiltrates my brain, and I know it will last long after she's gone.

"You'll do great!"

I watch as she skips down the steps and wave to her as she pulls away.

And then I walk blindly down the hall and into the bathroom.

With the water streaming down my face, I can almost imagine that the tears aren't falling.

But they are.

I'll never be good enough for her.

And I need to just accept that.

*()*()*

"Well, Mr. Cullen, it seems to me that we would be remiss if we didn't use your company for our security needs, especially if you are handling our business. Excellent job, son," Mr. Walker says as he extends his hand.

I manage to covertly wipe mine off on my pants before I shake his.

I did it.

The meeting went well yesterday, but it isn't until he says those words over lunch that I realize I sealed the deal.

Holy shit.

I pay the bill and tell Mr. Walker that I'll be in touch before I get a taxi to the airport.

I'm in a daze.

I fumble with my phone for a second before I realize what I'm doing.

I was about to call Bella.

She would want to know what happened.

But should I really continue torturing myself this way?

She'll never be mine…

And can I really sit back and watch as she's with someone else?

Kissing him…

Hugging him…

Loving him?

But can I really let her go?

It's then I realize that no, I can't let her go.

So I dial her number and listen to her squeal and clap, and I close my eyes and just listen to her joy…

And it's enough.

Get your weight loss and accomplishments in. The next chapter…yeah…you want it.