TITLE: SilentTown
FANDOM: LazyTown/Silent Hill
PAIRING: Robbie Rotten/Stephanie, Sportacus/Stephanie (onesided, implied)
CHARACTERS: Robbie Rotten, Stephanie, Sportacus
GENRE: Horror
RATING: M
SUMMARY: The fairytale happiness of LazyTown comes to an end when an archaic sacrifice goes horribly wrong. Everyone is left paying the price when Sportacus leaves forever.
WARNINGS: Violence, language
AUTHOR'S NOTE: A larger, longer version of a crackfic I already did. I've never actually seen LazyTown. This is all based off what I've read on Wikipedia. It was merely an experiment to see if I could cross the two fandoms.
DISCLAIMER: Obvious this isn't mine.


As they walked towards the main part of town, Robbie looked down at her meaningfully. "We need things. We went into the hospital entirely unprepared and you were nearly killed."

Both thought for a moment and she snapped her fingers. "The hardware store! I go there all the time for paint and brushes."

"Well, we'll need more than your silly art supplies, but yes, that's where we'll go."

She was very excited to have contributed something to their quest to leave LazyTown. "There should be tons of stuff there we can take. It'll be like our own private tool box!"

"I've wanted to steal from there for years, but there's always those stupid things on the street, so I suppose we'll have to find a way to make use of these scalpels…"

She looked at him in surprise. "I know the timing to get around them. The people."

He stared at her. "You do?"

"I've been sneaking in there for years to get my paint." She smiled at him. "We just have to watch out for the Fog."

"You finally show your use!" he cheered.

Together they crouched behind the sidewalk trashcan closest to the hardware store, silently watching and waiting. There were four creatures that lingered around the street, large disfigured people composed of blackened flesh that glistened from some sort of foul gel that clung to them; after months of watching them roam, Stephanie had discovered two things: they had very long claws where fingers should have been and they patrolled the street in the same pattern day and night. She'd learned the proper timing to run past them unnoticed a while ago and used that knowledge to get the things she needed from the stores on that block.

When every creature was in its place, Stephanie grabbed Robbie by the hand and together they darted across the street. Once inside, they quickly shut and bolted the glass door behind them, leaving them free to inspect their new resource. Robbie stared at everything from the massive hole in the ceiling that was leaking water to the layer of muddy ash on the floor. Apparently, the Fire had hit the hardware store worse than she'd remembered.

"Everything's been ruined," she confessed, suddenly feeling guilty that her favourite treasure trove wasn't actually as good as she hoped it would be.

Robbie however had already began frantically scouring the first few shelves as though he disagreed. "Get a handcart."

She shrugged but grabbed one of the carts lined along the wall by the front door.

He held up a roll of slightly melted duct tape. "This looks like it would be okay if we peel off a few layers."

"Probably." She smiled, suddenly realising this could be a fun game where she instead looked on the positive side. She grabbed a set of pliers that seemed untouched. "These looks good."

He gave her a giddy smile as he held up a plastic shell that hadn't been melted. "Walkie talkies! We'll need to find batteries for them, of course…"

"What about this?" she asked, holding up her find.

"What are we going to do with a box of nails? Please think before you open your mouth," he sneered before rummaging through the shelves some more.

She glared at him, setting the box back on the shelf where she discovered something that was surely worth more than a box of nails.

"A crank radio! For emergencies!" She giggled excitedly. "Do you suppose there's anyone on?"

"You crank the handle while I look for things," he ordered.

"Okay!" she said enthusiastically.

"I found flashlights!" he called out happily.

His good mood was infectious and she she found herself smiling and nearly skipping and she wound the small crank on the side of the radio.

"Cordless soldering iron. We are in business!" He turned to her with a large smile and apparently she didn't give him the right reaction to the news. "Bah!"

"Okay, I think it's charged."

They turned it on and after a moment of searching through the different station dials, she forlornly stated, "It's only making static."

"Stupid," Robbie declared reaching out to take it from her.

"Wait!" She pulled it out of his reach. "It's getting louder."

"Is it saying something?"

"I can't tell."

"It's still getting lou—look out!"

She spun around to see something lurching towards them, a man with long claw-like fingers, covered in black ooze. She let out a loud, shrill scream as Robbie grabbed an axe from the aisle wall and proceeded to drive it deep into the man's head. The man fell to the ground twitching as she grabbed the radio, clutching it tight to her chest as she backed herself as far into the corner as she manage.

"It's dead!" Robbie reassured her, beckoning for her to go to him.

She stood still. "The radio's getting loud again—"

"Shh! There's another!"

"The radio knows!" she hissed and the creature turned to look at her.

"Grab a shovel or something. Do it!" Robbie ordered.

She set the radio down, snatching up one of the sharper looking gardening tools. "What do I do?"

"Kill it!"

"Oh gosh, oh gosh!"

"Just shut up and do it!"

She screamed again as she swung the mattock into the side of the second man's head.

"Do it again!" Robbie cried out at the creature continued moving, then pushed her aside. "Oh, I'll do it myself!"

Robbie came up from behind and delivered the final blow to the man's head.

"Sorry," she whimpered, her knees shaking.

"Don't be afraid—they want to kill us," he explained, wiping the blood and grime off his axe blade onto his trouser leg.

"You're pretty good at this," she mumbled, clutching the radio to her.

"You should be better at it."

"Why?"

"All your sports. You should have better reflexes." He looked her over. "And because you're one of them."

"I am not one of them." She folded her arms in anger. "And I don't like killing people!"

He spun around and poked one of his long fingers into her chest. "Let's get something straight—first of all, I don't like killing. I'm only doing it to keep us alive in this hellhole. Second, they aren't people anymore. They are…I don't know, but they aren't people. They aren't human. Monsters."

"But—"

"I know that you know who they used to be. That you see their faces and they look like the people who were your friends. But they aren't your friends any longer. They want to hurt me and you. They want us dead. Now you can either let them kill you or you can live. What do you want?"

Her eyes began to water. "I want to live."

He nodded. "Then you have to hit them until they don't get back up."

"Okay." She worried her lower lip for a second and then asked, "Are you mad at me?"

"No." He scowled at her. "But my patience is running very thin."

She set down the mattock. "I don't think I want to carry this around with me. It's too awkward."

"Find something more your size then. We shouldn't go anywhere unarmed."

She realised she'd already abandoned her pipe somewhere out in the streets and since she'd liked the general size, she picked out something similar. "Will this do?"

He looked over the crowbar she'd taken off the hardware shelf. "I suppose. I'll keep this axe, though. Seems to do the job."

Armed, she picked up the radio in her free hand. "Where do we go now?"

He began stuffing things from the handcart into his doctor's bag. "The library."

She frowned. "What's at the library?"

Surprisingly, he gave her a smile. "The most powerful thing of all: knowledge."