As promised I have loaded the chapter although, it's kind of late in the day sorry about that.

XD

Well enjoy my sweetshits...yes I did just call you that, I only call the dearest people that. FEEL SPECIAL!

OH! and my best friend wanted her name somewhere in this so

(Hannah)

there you go my bum chum

:)

Disclaimer:

BEEPNOTBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP

!BEEPBEEP

this subliminal message has been brought to you by an angsty teenager.


Chapter 6

"I gave it to myself."

The silence after her statement made the atmosphere around the three uncomfortable at best. After a few minutes of no reaction Kyoko glanced up from studying Ren's carpet and found a pair of identically blank faces staring back at her. She rushed to explain further, feeling that she'd somehow said something inappropriate.

"Ah, you know when you can't concentrate on something and sometimes to get yourself to stop thinking about something you pinch yourself? Or how whenever someone wants to wake up from a dream they often do the same?" Kyoko blurted out swinging her hands in the air wildly as emphasis to make her point.


Ren heaved a great sigh, half from relief and the other from exasperation, he was starting to see exactly where the girl was headed with her explanation. The day two weeks prior when he'd automatically identified the blemish as a hickey… it had been two days after the shoot when he'd kissed her.

How could he forget her panic afterward and the manner in which she would attempt to placate her rambling thoughts. He'd watched from across the set as she was NG-ed over and over again and how directly afterward she'd pinch herself as if to retain her thoughts. The thought was almost laughable.


Kuu seeing his sons sudden understanding form tilted his head in confusion, attempting to understand what Kyoko was saying. He was about to ask further, but had no chance as Ren placed himself on one knee and leaned over the still flailing girl to examine the blemish.

"Mogami-san, don't forget an actress needs to take care of her body no matter what." He reminded her and he tilted her chin slightly to the side. Kyoko didn't resist his touch and even seemed to lean into it as he handled her gently, entranced she nodded.

"Hai." She spoke softly, and as he leaned a bit too close to her face, her breath hitched.

"Even if you still think about that, it's a little unfair to take it out on your body, ne." Ren voice was a rich velvet as he tilted his head a few inches to the side in a sufficiently conspicuous erotic pose; brushing her hair at the side of her neck only slightly as she shivered from his touch. She blushed, still completely entranced by his actions and the fact that he was referring to the kiss.

Snapping out of it she quickly looked down at the carpet and complied once more with a shaky "hai", as she attempted to decipher what was wrong with her. Ren smirked at this and patted the hair on her neck back into place sliding a large hand into place on her shoulder. He smiled his regular "Kyoko" smile as Yashiro referred to it and took seat next to her again.

"Just as long as you know." Ren reassured with his own undertone satisfaction at her reactions to him. This did not go unspoiled though as his father soon asked the bashful woman next to him if he could have a plate of seconds. Complying all to quickly in an effort to widen the distance between herself and her oddly friendly sempai, Kyoko fled to the kitchen.

At that time Kuu took the opportunity to reprimand his sons flirtatious teasing. He slapped a palm flat on both sides of the young brunettes head and glared straight into his silly child's eyes. He pulled back only to point a finger accusingly at the half grinning man.

"Stop teasing my future daughter, really Kuon I thought I raised you to be courteous to women." Kuu scolded, feeling every bit the worried parent for his rapidly blossoming daughter. He loved his son yes, but that did not make Kuu ignorant to his sons previous relationship failures and lifestyle mistakes.

For a long time Kuu knew that Kuon had issues in the matter of love: what love really meant and what it truly felt like. He knew very honestly that his son's own definition of love was as skewed as the presidents fashion sense and his will to act on his own emotion was even more deficient in nature.

The only prior knowledge he'd ever observed of his son having a true interest romantically in anyone was the summer when he'd turned thirteen and Kuu had taken him for two weeks on location for a shoot in Kyoto. The boy would leave the hotel room in the early afternoon claiming to hike to a spot in the woods to find peace and quiet, but wouldn't return until just around dusk and what's more, he'd always have an overly happy grin plastered on his face when he returned. Smiling at random things, the child even giggled at dinner when they'd eaten a quick meal of Salisbury steak at the hotel- which made no sense to Kuu; Kuon had never even liked the dish before. When he'd inquired to the boyish happiness radiating off of his son, he'd be given this oblivious look as if the boy hadn't noticed his good mood.

And perhaps he hadn't, but on the day they left back to the states all traces of the cute moods the boy was having spasmodically were gone. He left the country somber and staring out the plane window the entire trip home.

After much prying and prodding the boy had only said only seven words denoting his first experience at puppy love and the sadness evoked in the words stopped Kuu's own pursuance of the topic.

"I didn't want to make her cry." He'd smiled sadly at his son afterward and ruffled his hair trying to bring him from his emotional rut.

"Just because she cried when you parted doesn't mean she always will. Years from now she'll remember you and smile." The boy had smiled slightly at that and Kuu felt a pang for his son's tender aged heartbreak.

But that was the last time the boy seemed to ever experience the emotion that now seemed to control him so well. During his adolescence he'd switch from girl to girl, dating his way through movie casts and eventually his entire class in high school. The girls were a dime a dozen taking advantage of his fame and riches not to mention his own prowess as a juvenile actor, but eventually he'd caught on to it, and even through the slew of those who had loved him, Kuon lost the trust required to love.

He was swept into the fast life of one night stands and playboy like status; experiencing things far too fast for his age. His firsts had all been claimed and established by the young age of sixteen. By then the added pressure of expectations created by his father's overshadowing career was beginning to crush him under a weight too great for the adolescent to bear. He began to lose himself in racy behavior and even more racy relationships.

With a sad smile Kuu sat back and peered proudly at the respectable man before him recalling only briefly the one time he'd ever struck his son.


After two weeks of no contact and relentless calls to his cell phone as well as messages left from his slowly weakening mother, Kuu had caught a glimpse of the elusive boy wandering through the streets of a less than respectable area of San Diego a prostitute clinging onto him on both sides and violent track marks marring his arms. He'd called out and when the boy hadn't turned around Kuu felt he'd lose his son if didn't do something.

It was the most fear he'd ever had to experience, the two weeks of his son's disappearance; he'd known all too well that it was twice as hard for his wife and suddenly his own fear became anger. He dragged the boy out of the clutches of the two scantily dressed women and forced him into the car. When the seventeen year old had regarded him with an almost unrecognizing gaze he'd lost it. Before he could even calculate what had happened, his hand had struck out and clipped the boy square across the cheek.

He felt ashamed that he'd used his own hand against his son, ashamed that he hadn't been a good enough parent to prevent it, and ashamed most of all that he'd failed to keep his child safe. He drove the long distance back to their home in San Francisco in silence and when he'd entered the house Kuon following silently behind him he turned to the boy taking his arm gently and examining the appendage under the florescent bulbs. The needle tracks ran up and down the young mans arm and in complete disbelief Kuu just stared unable to comprehend what his next action should be as a parent. Before he could even begin to think of what he should say his son's voice called out to him almost brokenly.

"Dad?" The one word had released a floodgate of emotions for the man and he seemed to awaken to the fact that he'd begun shedding tears that were then dripping onto his son's scarred arm. He paid no mind to the moisture trailing down his cheeks and he directed his gaze back at his son whom looked absolutely petrified, like he wanted to run. Like he was blaming himself. Kuu pulled the boy into his arms as if he were a child again and he sobbed into the shorter form. He didn't know at which point he'd stopped crying but he clearly remember his son's repetition of

"I'm sorry dad, please forgive me." through broken sobs that made his six foot eight stature seem so small and child like. At some point his wife had discovered both tearfully still clinging and nursed them both into her arms. They had mended their family then, thankfully, but their problems were far from gone. Kuon still suffered and now it seemed no matter his amount of efforts at reforming himself, the reputation he'd built to distance himself from his father had only back fired on him.

And then it happened, an incident that he was sure marred the conscious thoughts of the man even today. Kuon lashed out, and unfortunately someone had been caught in the crossfire. To make things worse the boy had been one of Kuon's friends. The realization of having lost control so much, to have hurt someone close once again had demolished his son.

Once more falling into a pit of his own mistakes and self loathing as well as an all encompassing depression Kuu scrambled to help his son's diminishing spirit, and then he'd gotten an idea. Quite the risky idea in terms of their familial interaction, but one he was sure would help his son. He called upon an old friend.

In less than a day Lory Takarada stood before Kuon, beckoning him from his completely lightless room and into a world where he could start anew, free from the chains of his past.

Kuon with no further baiting had followed the man from his home, past his mother and father's saddened forms and into the sunlight once again for the first time since his thirteenth summer.


Kuu sighed, confusing his son as he gazed at the twenty one year old sitting before him, completely free from any worries of his past and in love with a wonderful girl who'd become a breathtaking woman in a few scant years. He smiled to himself in a perplexing bout of something only parents can clearly understand; a prideful sadness at having to accept the fact that children didn't just remain children. That his son had grown up significantly and even then he felt all the same as the innocent boy of thirteen. He'd come a long way since then, and Kuu was extremely proud to see that he no longer needed protection that he'd become strong enough to spread his wings on his own and fly free from the constraints of his past.

"Tsuruga-san? I can take that if you're done." The girl's voice rang out in her catering manner and as he nodded she swept up the dish in front of him dashing off to the kitchen again before returning quickly with another plate of food for himself.

Looking on at the small girl flitting from one place to the next all the while a look of joy on her face at being able to care for people that cared about her he realized something very faintly in his appreciation of the girl. She'd make a wonderful mother some day. He smiled widely as she fanned the hot food for a moment before handing him the fork in her hand to keep him from scalding himself.

This girl had managed to drag his son from his own pit of darkness with or without meaning to she'd brought back his childlike charm and playful attitude. She'd revived a part of him he had lost all those years ago in the States and for this Kuu thanked the deity that brought the two together, but more prominently he thanked her. For being so sweet and innocent; caring and beautiful in such a naturally compassionate way.

Truthfully he didn't think he could accept if anyone but her became his daughter, he'd feel cheated. And he'd made that perfectly known to his son with the look he'd given him prior to dinner. The warning of her escape, of his own denial and the risk he'd be taking in waiting too long to show her his own love. All of this, he'd communicated to him over a brief look given over the top of Kyoko's head. And with the nod from his son, Kuu felt reassured that Kuon had figured out on his own this time around what love really was.

Kyoko sat down and stared at both the men in the room who'd fallen silent soon after her own arrival, wondering if they both had tired themselves out from bantering while she'd been in the kitchen or simply because they really were tired. The thought left her though because she felt more relaxed for some reason in this atmosphere; they seemed to have found a way to get along. Which made her happy in some odd way she once more could not comprehend, but at the moment she didn't bother dwell on it. She was happy to be in the company of two of her most favorite people, that was reason enough.


"Shou…" Asami Haruki, his producer, called out behind him warningly. Once again during the long hours of studio booth work and hauling out new lyrics for his current project, Shou had retreated without notice to his dressing room in order to make a call. Except today the particular ratio of time actually spent recording and getting work done opposed to the time he spent walled up in his dressing room was far too great a difference. He'd been holing himself away in the room all afternoon and even now late into the evening, it seemed whenever he saw an opportunity he'd take it and leave. Asami was starting to get extremely aggravated with his behavior and even more so because she had no idea what was fueling the singer's odd behavior.

Unlike Asami; however, Shoko had a very good idea of what was fueling the singer's frequent breaks and even the receiving end of the countless phone calls he'd been making lately.

"Kami, Kyoko pick up your phone." Sho grumbled to himself as he leaned against the wall of his dressing room biting on an already jagged nail and punching the same sequence of numbers in as he received the same disconnected tone over and over again.

Shoko's suspicions were confirmed as she hid, or rather stayed outside of the slightly ajar dressing room, watching from the small peeking space. She shook her head slightly as the boy tried twice more before slumping onto the sofa and hanging his head in his hands. She'd known from the moment they'd left from the restaurant two weeks ago that it would be a long bout of emotional issues for the boy. He was stuck in a rut so long as he refused to admit his love for the girl.

The issue was only made even more complex with the fact of the matter that he'd almost done something unforgivable to her, which disgusted him on several levels and even evoked a sense of self loathing that he didn't entirely understand.

His manager felt a surprisingly great amount of pity for the boy now that she clearly understood that he was indeed very infatuated with his childhood friend and didn't seem to be able to accept it. If he refused to admit that he did, he'd only be putting himself and his career in jeopardy.

Shoko was convinced she had to go in and do something to placate the kid's emotions and somehow cheer him from his completely dismal mood; she moved to open the door, but as she did this the cell phone lying resolutely on the coffee table in front of him gave a shudder and began vibrating madly.

Shou quickly fumbled for it and acquiring it in hand he stared for a moment his eyes lighting in recognition and then dimming again in doubt of his action. Should he even be talking to her after what he'd done? The question was clear on his face as he moved the phone away from him and hit "Talk" slowly he brought the receiver to his ear and even then he paused before speaking.

"You…finally picked up." His voice was a soft strangled sound as if he were trying to tread slowly on breaking ice and the slightest slip up would send him under. Her voice filtered through clear and clipped, clearly not glad to be speaking to him, over phone or not.

He felt a pang in his chest at that… he no longer had the healing properties of that smile directed at him or the endless words of reassurance, or the unconditional care he'd received before.

Just as her voice came through the receiver completely void of emotion he realized this and the seeming epiphany to their most likely permanent change of relationship dawned on him. He'd destroyed what they had had before and rebuilding it would probably be impossible. Unsure as to why he'd just suddenly figured that out, Shou hesitated feeling the distance between them for the first time.

Even with that plaguing his mind Shou refused to admit that she was no longer his property to claim. Surely he retained the same amount of space in her heart, only now it was just of a less positive nature. With that dim reminder he assured himself all he'd have to do was make get over the mistake he'd almost made.

"Look I just thought I'd formally y'know-"

"What?" Her voice channeling through his cell was suppressed and sarcastic, which made him feel oddly pressed for time as if she'd hang up, he took a breath, or at least attempted to before letting it out in a rush of wind.

"For fucks sake Kyoko, you know I wouldn't…" He sighed again as he ran a haggard hand through his dyed hair, scratching roughly at his scalp in irritation.

"…" There was silence from her and as he readied himself to speak again, a low murmur filtered through, as if she was whispering to someone.

"No, no ah gomen ..ou-san ..re…done. Hai, I love you too."

Shou dropped his cell then, as if the damn thing had shocked him… well it had just in a different aspect altogether. He stared into the empty air in front of him as if he'd been backhanded. The air in his lungs was stagnant and he was beginning to feel like he should breathe sometime soon or he'd asphyxiate. He would've stared that way forever if not for her irritated voice back on the line questioning his absence.

"Have the decency to hang up you bastard…" Fearing she'd hang up before he could figure out who the hell she'd been talking to Shou snatched the phone back up.

"Who was that?" He questioned already, forgetting his previous subject. Again silence filled the line. Thinking she'd hung up he called out once more.

"Kyoko!-

"Stop shouting Baka! It was someone." She drawled sarcastically, and he could practically feel her eyes rolling.

"You gonna elaborate?" Shou growled over the line.

"No, I'm not. Did you forget what I said, already? Kami-sama, don't call if you're just going to intentionally ruin my mood." She hissed preparing to hang up on him. Startled by the finality of her tone he scrambled to say something to calm her a bit.

"Kyoko! Wait, look the reason I called-" She cut him off

"I know you wouldn't what?" Her cold voice silenced him with ease, Shou knew that Mio character all too well lately.

"What?" The sudden statement caught him off guard.

"You said I knew that you wouldn't… wouldn't do what Shoutarou?" She breathed evenly, though he could hear it in her inflection- she was forcing herself to.

"Let me remind you Shou- it was you who said I knew nothing about you. How dare I even make such a statement. Heh. And you know what, you were right." She breathed bitterly, a sour laughter punctuating her own broken view of their past.

"So I wouldn't know. Because I don't know you… and I don't want to."


Her words were grave and as she spoke them Shou stood rooted to the spot feeling as if he was falling; like the earth was crumbling beneath him and he was being sucked into the gaping abyss it had created. He struggled to speak to say something and interrupt her, but nothing seemed to come to mind; everything she said was a bite in the ass from a mistake he'd made in the past. A mistake. MISTAKE.

The chorus sounded in his mind as if to mock him. He gritted his teeth. And as she paused before her final statement Shou felt that he'd done it this time, no matter what he told himself afterward, he'd crossed a line that friends, even enemies aren't supposed to cross.

He'd done it and she was shredding the connection now, finalizing her own freedom from him, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Just as the thought came so did the words-

"I don't know you…and I don't want to." CLICK. The sentence punctuated with a dial tone and a throbbing ache in his chest. The phone slipped again from his fingers and this time he did nothing to stop it as it made a soft thud on the carpet. He slumped dully onto his dressing rooms couch, the blood if any was left in his body wasn't present in his face.

He couldn't fathom why he felt as he did, like he'd just killed someone, like he was dead himself, like he was still alive and wanted to be dead. What the hell was going on? He clutched at his chest feeling as if he'd puke, as if he'd stop breathing, as if his heart was gone.

His heart…

He fisted his hair in his hands at the realization of what was happening to him. His heart was breaking. And it hurt more than he could even imagine it would have.

And with that, he finally acknowledged it. The fact that he'd broken her heart, that he'd dashed salt on an already festering wound. He'd hurt her, and in a manner much worse than her own.

She at least had a reason to say what she'd said. Him on the other hand, he couldn't even give a reason for what he'd done to her.

The aching amplified still as Shou sat there basking in his own regret. This pain was so utterly new to Shou, he didn't know how to block it out, how to get around it. He briefly wondered how the hell Kyoko had lived through something like this twice. And with the reminder of her horrible childhood the throb intensified again.

Shit, how the hell could he have done that.

If Shoko had asked him then, Shou would've testified to feeling the most guilt he ever had. In fact the very feeling was beginning to swallow the young man, and feeling as if he'd drown he did what any respectable musician did in a time of emotional chaos.

He grabbed a notebook and began to write.


As Kyoko hung up she felt an odd hollowness ring through her body, she knew what she had just said hurt him. And in knowing that she felt like an idiot. The words of some novel from school wrung through her head.

`Those who seek to hurt others only hurt themselves.´

Despite that, she couldn't bring herself to feel guilty, she wouldn't let herself. The jerk deserved every bit of the pain that she'd felt. And yet she felt no bit of victory at shutting him up for once.

The regret swelled in her as she recalled that he'd actually been trying to apologize, and she had pushed him away coldly. Allowing no argument to be spoken on his part, just dismissing him with a frosty tone… it reminded her vaguely of her mother. With a shudder she leaned against Ren's balcony letting the chilly wind ghost over her face.

Her head and her heart were beginning to argue with themselves as she considered the just and unjust of what she had just done.

Perhaps it had been too harsh…

The thought sent her back to the moment two weeks ago where she had struggled under his hold. When she'd gotten away from him under the spell of Naomi and had exited directly afterward. She replayed every moment of the dumbasses actions, what he'd said his demeaning manner of referring to her as his object, his frustration and strange reaction to her indifference. Then she replayed a moment she would've rather not have even recognized.

The second she had opened her eyes the only thing that filled her line of sight was his own chocolate gaze. The deep brown irises glowed in the afternoon sun and a slew of emotions she'd never seen reflected back in the irises. Fear, regret, pain, worry. Worry.

Why would he have worried about her after doing… he hadn't done anything.

Kyoko started at the realization. He hadn't but he was goi-

He wouldn't have. That guys stupid, but he's not a monster. He saved you

remember, back in Karuizawa.

Kyoko fisted her hands and pressed them tightly against her eyes, as Naomi spoke back to her clear and decisive in her information. She knew… she knew very well that Shou wouldn't have, and she knew that she had lied to him just now.

Kyoko did know the boy. She knew better than he himself did. But in admitting that she was prevented from severing the connection between them, why that scared her she couldn't understand.

She hated the boy, she shouldn't have an issue cutting him from her life, but she did. Not to be confused, she knew full well that whatever holding her from severing relations wasn't love. Her "love" had died the moment he trampled over her in the same fashion her mother had.

Whatever it was, it had spurred on her own anger and in turn drove her to do something she hadn't meant to.

Fisting her hands she willed herself to just not care about it, to leave things as they were, but she couldn't. Something inside of her was damning her for being a cruel woman, for turning into her mother. Just because something wasn't perfection, just because mistakes were made, which are natural to human nature, she hated it.

A sob ripped from her lips and she fisted her cell phone as she slumped onto the cool concrete of the balcony. The bubbling pressure in her chest exploded as a broken sob crumbled her resolve on the issue. She had done something horrible to someone, regardless of whether they deserved it or not, regardless of the fact that they had been trying to apologize, regardless of the fact that she knew-she KNEW that they felt guilty. She was willfully reacting in a way that her mother had used to crush her as a child.

That realization was enough to shatter whatever reasoning she'd justified her behavior with. She didn't want to become someone cruel and callous to others, she didn't want to become that person. She didn't want to make someone hurt in the same manner she had her entire life.

The sobs racked her body as she fisted the phone in her small hands. Why had she done that? The question retreated to the silent recesses of her psyche as it remained unanswered.

She wished to any entity on earth that she could be holding corn in her fingers at that moment hoping upon the precious gem to give her the strength to fix this problem that she'd just built.

This wall in front of her was not the type easily knocked down and an extra boost of energy could do her a great service just about know. As her shoulders shuddered again with a great heave of her body, she clamped her lips shut in an attempt at stilling her blubbering to no avail.

CLICK. The sound of the balcony door dislodging from it's shut position startled her from her slumped position on the floor. She turned slightly and registered the worried eyes of her mentor. She jolted lifting herself hurriedly from the ground as the tall figure of her mentor stepped onto the balcony. He stood for a moment as the cool early spring air flowed around them. Moving toward her only slightly he elicited a jumpy response from her as she swept her clothed sleeves over her eyes roughly and backed a step.

"Ah, I'm sorry... Tsuruga-san. It's really nothing... I'll stop in a... moment." Kyoko attempted to reassure him through broken sentences cut off by dry sobs caught in her throat. Seeing the fragile state she'd once again been reduced to, Ren's actions were the natural protective response. He moved forward again prying her hands from her face a gently sweeping the tears from her face she shivered lightly in his touch, quaking lightly from her tears. Before he could ask she spoke in an almost pleading voice.

"Tsuruga-san... What should I do?" She appeared so small in his arms that he was tempted to wrap himself around her again, but instead settled for smoothing down her ruffled hair gently, calming her frantic state only slightly, but it was a better effort in their current mess of interactions.

"What's wrong? I can't help you if I don't know the issue." He spoke gently looking down, trying to catch her gaze as she stared intently at the ground tears still rolling down her reddened cheeks. Startled by the question… is what Ren guessed by fraction in which her golden eyes had shrunk.

She began to quiver again slightly as she bit her lower lip in frustration to her weakened state. Despite this objection of her pride and her adequacy as a completely independent woman, she wished wholly to relinquish her secrets to the man before her. She could trust him, because he was close, not in any interpersonal way by any means but he was someone whom she shared a kindred passion in acting with. He was understanding, her shoulder to lean on, the one she looked to for recognition and now she direly wished to bridge the connection between them to speak, but something kept her mouth clamped shut.

A silent whisper of warning in the back of her mind admonishing the very idea of getting close to anyone- to any man. Cautioning her against the chance of suffering another crack in her already demolished armor, and she felt if she did again there would be no way to shield herself from breaking nor any way to put herself back together again; it had happened one too many times.

She felt jilted by her own mind, holding her back in the worst of times but she knew that she couldn't partake in advice from her sempai on the matter of her bastard of a childhood friend anyway; making him angry wouldn't be a smart move.

Regardless of the foreboding feeling she had to give him something, she knew her sempai wasn't one to leave someone crying. She was his kohai, he'd feel some level of responsibility for her till the end…right?

"I… I hurt someone…just now, I got a call from an old friend and I purposefully used something from the past to injure them…Even though I hate underhanded tricks and methods like that I still- what do I do? I hate this ugly part of me." She rambled off in an attempt to still her own sobs and provide him some insight to what was wrong so maybe he could lend a hand in resolving this.

No, this is my problem. I've done this, so I have to solve it on my own. I'm so weak I shouldn't taint Tsuruga-san with my own personal blunders.

"houldn't you…Kyoko." Startled again Kyoko looked up at her sempai who still maintained a close proximity to her. He gave her a stern look, as best he could at least with tear stains marring her evening beauty.

"Gomen Tsuruga-san. I just… I know I should solve this on my own. It was wrong of me to even get you involved in my personal mat-

"Kyoko." He said her name with such force that she realized for the first time in their entire encounter that he'd dropped the last name basis. Blushing lightly at the tips of her ears she stared blankly back at the man who appeared the very advocate of frustration. Fortunately the change in focus brought her tear ducts to a moment of inactivity and the tears finally stopped trailing her face. Ren smiled halfway at that and sighed.

"Well, atleast you've stopped crying." He mumbled to her before inclining his head in the slightest manner catching her off guard he stared directly into her tawny gaze.

"Kyoko isn't safe to say we are friends by now?" He offered not the least bit awkward on the surface contrary to the practically depressive state his own mind had sought refuge in; he was already bracing for the worst.

"I, we…friends?" She spoke the word as if it was the first time she'd ever heard it and as soon as it left her mouth an odd sensation was filling her chest again, just as when she returned to thoughts concerning Ren's love interests. The ache was dull, but it was there though this time instead of sending jolts of pain lashing across her heart the ache was sweet and warm as if she'd swallowed nectar of some sort with an alcoholic base. And oddly enough Kyoko didn't exactly mind it this time.

Ren nodded only when her gaze returned from it's far off look and focused again on him. She stared still and he felt that she would never fully except the concept without a bit of goading.

Ren took a step back releasing her arms and running a haggard hand through his now limp looking locks.

"Ah, I see. It appears I'm the only one who ever considered us friends. I apologize for forcing my own fee-

"No, wait I'm just-! Uh, Tsuruga-san, is it uhm okay?" She asked shyly completely distracted now from her previous turmoil. Ren gave her a questioning lift of one elegant eyebrow. She elaborated.

"To call myself… your friend?" Her voice was high and nearly inaudible, but as it registered in Ren's mind he smiled at her happily.

"Of course, you don't need my permission. Rather I feel that is the question I should be asking." He chuckled slightly at her flustered habits, but stopped suddenly bringing his gaze back to hers for a serious moment.

Knowing that they had strayed explicitly from topic Kyoko averted her eyes as she waited for his verdict like a convict guilty of a capital murder.

A hand landed softly on the top of her head once again and ruffled the once smoothed out hair. She looked up at Ren, who smiled gently at her as he spoke.

"Kyoko, you are human. Striving to be a good person is a wonderful thing; however, being wonderful.. being perfect... all the time is dangerous." Ren chose his words carefully knowing that she was hating herself for something that people usually did in life on an everyday basis. Problem was that Kyoko wasn't "people" she was Kyoko and never would her mind comprehend the manipulative ways of people in this day and age.

"You sincerely regret your actions, right? And you wish to reconcile with this friend?" He prompted giving her that dazzling smile once more. She nodded under his hand and he tapped her chin so she couldn't avert her eyes again. She looked up as response and he gave her a reassuring smile.

"Then tell them what you've told me. Be honest and express all of your feeling to them so they cannot but help to accept your sincere apology." Kyoko gave a blinding smile of her own at this and thanked him as she rubbed the tear stains from her face. She was resolute now, and she knew exactly what she must do no matter how painful it would be for her she'd solve this issue in her life once and for all. This matter would soon be unable to haunt her.

He handed her a small box then, that he'd been holding inconspicuously in his right hand. She received it with small but confused smile and upon seeing the goofy doodle stuck to the notecard attached to it, she immediately associated it with her Otou-san.

"What…?" She mumbled in wonder as she examined the small present.

"I don't know, Hizuri-san said he needed to go after getting a rather angry call from his manager, but he gave me the task of relaying a message." Kuu almost grinned at the thought of what his father had said. Give my daughter my farewell, would you?

"Eh?" Kyoko looked up at the exact moment planned as Ren was bending forward in her direction. Her eyes widened within the small span of seconds, but it was too late for her to escape, she shut her eyes as the man's heated breath ghosted over her lips making her give an unwilling shiver. She damned the new script and Amahara-san for it. But her anticipation was met with a small pang of disappointment as Ren's trajectory altered and he placed the sweetest of kisses on her cheek, brushing his lips against her only lightly. A featherlike touch that gave her Goosebumps of what nature she wasn't sure.

Her eyelids fluttered open in time for her to catch a glimpse of his smirking demeanor as he leaned back into her ear.

"Goodnight, sweetheart." He whispered, in full English, accent dropped and all. Every hair on Kyoko's body stood on end at the simple words, and suddenly Ren stepped away laughing like a mad man into his own hands. Offended she rushed forward scolding him with a look of pure mortification on her face, but a ghost of a smile tracing her lips.

And for a brief moment Kyoko praised the gift of friendship, and prayed- prayed to god that it'd last.


Sho breathed roughly into the mic as Asami flipped the switch from recording to stand by the light dimming from its red indicator. There was no other movement from the isolation booth or the control room. Both parties on each side felt like they'd had no place to speak after the performance.

Aki sucked in a breath and broke the silence by pressing the intercom to speak to her charge.

"Sho that was …perfect." Even as she said the compliment the enthusiasm wasn't in her voice, and it wasn't in any of the instrumentalists' gazes either. They all felt the clear meaning behind the song and what had been going on with the young singer. He'd suffered a blow to the heart, and from the playback of the beautifully saddening voice, a pretty damned bad one.

Sho nodded staring listlessly at through the glass of the recording booth and grunting in acknowledgement. He stared unseeing at his producer and manager feeling much the same he had when Kyoko had ended that phone call, but it was odd; he'd felt so emotional then, but now he felt numb. Almost like he didn't care, but he knew well enough now that it was simply a front, because if his mind didn't subject him to this numbness he'd be plagued with every replay of a moment he'd fucked up.

Every step along the way he'd readily taken trampling over her heart and every word he'd said that had destroyed the girl even further. It was then that he felt the surging throb again in his chest, he averted his eyes to the wooden paneling to hide the visible cringe that enveloped his features. Almost complacently letting his mind rush back to everything he'd learned in simply singing the song. He felt she might understand as well or at least take some appreciation in his own brush with an emotion she was very familiar with as a child. Misery.

Seeming to finally break from his daze as he stood there in front of the microphone; he moved from the equipment his strides slow and pronounced as he wrapped his headphone's cord around his knuckles slowly pulling them off and setting the coiled device back onto the sound console as he exited the booth.

Both Aki and Haruki stared worriedly after the teen. Shoko had been outside the adjacent dressing room door when the phone call had ended. She knew what had been said and ultimately what she feared for her charge and those fears had been realized as the boy slumped into the couch and reached a limp hand out for his notebook beginning to write something with a few angry tears splattering against the pages.

She'd informed Haruki of the news and she'd been equally as distressed at the new turn of events. She didn't think even if Kyoko hated Sho she'd go as far as to cut his existence from her life; they had been together since childhood afterall they were practically siblings.

Unfortunately the siblingship had turned into a cycle of unrequited love and hateful actions.

Shoko stood to follow after him, but Haruki stilled her.

"He needs time Aki-san. Give him time. He may still be a child but clearly he knows his responsibility as a performer. He should rest anyways. Tomorrow will be… a stressful day for him to say the least." Haruki exemplified the last statement by rubbing at her own temples.

"But really despite his bad mood, that kid has got some lyrical genius I'll give him that. Who the hell did he learn native English from?" Haruki murmured under her breath as she layed her chin atop her crossed fingers.

"Probably her, Kyoko-san seems quite capable in the English language." Aki provided sitting back down.

"Ah, those two sure are a pair. Huhmm it's too bad that what happened, did. I don't think he'll ever find a match like her." Haruki reflected sighing once again.

The sound editors were nearly through with cutting and pasting the playback to fit the right time on track, editing the static out and enhancing the vocal volume when needed. Haruki consulted briefly with them before waving Aki over.

"Kami, Aki listen." She pulled the woman forward and Aki's eyes grew large as the sad tune seemed to flow through her veins with a jagged smarting everytime Sho's voice registered to her audibly. He'd really put his all into this song, and it was perfect for them, as well as the project assigned for the movie production.

Betrayal. It was the perfect topic; fitting to a situation where reconciliation was a far fetched ideal. That was what the song was seeming to rectify as fact; forgiveness wasn't something thrown out at the drop of a hat, or at least after time it becomes an incapable emotion.

Shoko could cry for the sadness of the occasion, but instead she continued listening, when it ended she opened her eyes she'd closed and looked straight to Haruki.

" It's… " Aki searched for a word to accredit the music for her amazement at it's depth but could find none.

"I know." Was her only knowing response from Haruki.

"The name?" Aki prompted lifting an eyebrow.

"Apologize…"


Yes it is the apologize you're thinking of, no not by the same people.

Agh I'm planning to have the chapter out hopefully in a few more hours or tomorrow, but then again my plans always fall through.

Again PM me on that though if you're trying to motivate my lazy arse.

much love peeps

SID