Friday
Why we're here

Ryan woke up drenched in sweat. He felt like his skin was on fire. He threw the blankets off of him. He gasped for air. He felt like the room was too small. Ryan tried to stand but he collapsed to the ground. He attempted to stand back up but his body gave out again. He tried to crawl out of the room. He seemed to run out of energy just outside the door in the hall. Ryan laid on the floor and panted. His head was pounding and his throat burned.

Horatio heard something crash down the hall. He jumped from his bed and ran down the hall. He found Ryan lying on the carpeting gasping for air. His body was drenched in sweat.

"Ryan!" Horatio exclaimed, dropping to his side, "Ryan what's wrong?"

"H, I don't know." Horatio touched his face. Ryan's skin was burning. "Come on Ryan" Horatio said, pulling the younger man up. He dragged Ryan into his master bathroom and started filling the tub with warm water. He set Ryan on the floor leaning against the wall. He tugged Ryan's shirt over his head but Ryan tried to fight him off when Horatio grabbed the waistline of his sweatpants. "Don't!" Ryan said as he tried to push Horatio away. "Get over it Ryan, I have one of those too."

Horatio helped Ryan into the bath. Ryan shuddered and groaned as the water engulfed his body.

"Hhhh!" he groaned. "It's ok Ryan," Horatio said to him, "You're going to be ok. Just relax, I'll be right back." Horatio looked through the drawers under his counter until he found a bottle of aspirin. He filled a glass with water and walked back to the tub. "Take these" Horatio instructed Ryan. Ryan's hand shook as he held the cup. He had difficulty swallowing the pills but he managed.

Horatio felt Ryan's forehead. His skin was already cooler to the touch. "How are you feeling?"

Ryan's eyes fluttered open. He looked at Horatio with pain in his eyes. "Better" he whispered, "God I felt like I was on fire. What caused this?"

"Stress probably and lack of food." Horatio answered, "Your bodies gone through a lot Ryan and it may have started to shut down."

Ryan sighed and closed his eyes. Horatio watched the tears form under his eyelids. "Why does she do this to me?"

"Everything's going to be ok, Ryan," Horatio said soothingly. "You just need to get back on your feet and take care of yourself."

"I'm so weak" Ryan muttered.

"No Ryan, you're not weak, you're hurt, maybe not physically but emotionally." Horatio smiled at him and Ryan managed to return it with a weak one of his own. "Come on, let's get you out of this. You probably need more sleep."

"What time is it?" Ryan asked, stepping out of the tub.

Horatio handed him a towel. "It's two in the morning."

Ryan groaned. "I'm sorry H, I didn't mean to wake you up."
"It's alright Ryan," Horatio said, "You needed someone. I'd rather you wake me up in the middle of the night then have to call Tom in the morning."

Ryan pulled his sweatpants back on, followed closely by his shirt. "Come on," Horatio said, "Let's get some food in you before you go back to sleep."
Ryan grabbed his arm and Horatio stopped and looked at him. Ryan's eyes watered and he wrapped his arms around Horatio. "Thank you," he said quietly, "Thank you Horatio. You're the only thing that's kept me alive this week."

Horatio sighed and wrapped his arms around the younger man. "It's alright Ryan, I knew you needed me."


Jessica pulled into the gas station. She filled her tank up and then walked into the convenience store. She bought the largest cup of coffee she could find and grabbed a few energy drinks.

As Jessica climbed back into her car she looked at her phone. It was almost ten o'clock in the morning. She had been driving for a little over twelve hours and had been awake twenty-seven hours. Jessica sat in her car and gulped down some of the coffee. It burned her throat and mouth but she didn't care anymore.

Jessica pulled out her phone and dialed Dr. Cooper's office number.

"Dr. Cooper" he greeted her with.

"Hello Dr. Cooper this is Dr. Jessica Caine."
"Dr. Caine, where are you? Are you alright? I was worried something had happened when you didn't show up this morning."

"I'm fine, but I have a family emergency and I need to go home to Miami."
"Is everything alright?"

"Everything will be once I get back, but I'm afraid I won't be returning to Denver University."
"Are you sure? We can work something out."
"No Dr. Cooper, I'm sorry but my father needs me back in Miami more than I need this job. I'm really sorry it had to end this way. If you're ever in need of a guest professor though I'm more than willing to you help you in any way possible."

"Well Dr. Caine I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you though for the offer. I'll definitely be in contact with you in the future, if you don't mind."

"Absolutely, especially after the shady way I'm leaving you. Thank you so much Dr. Cooper for this opportunity, I really did appreciate it."

"You're very welcome Dr. Caine and thank you for this chance to meet the world's youngest holder of three Doctrines. You were rather enjoyable. Take care and tell Dr. Bires that I bid him good day."

Jessica hung up her phone and drank more coffee. She sighed and watched people walk about the gas station.

Jessica felt the caffeine start to pump through her veins and knew it was time to go. She started her car and shifted into drive. She pulled back onto the highway and continued to speed down the asphalt.


Ryan woke up a few hours later. His head no longer hurt and the fire was gone from his body. He climbed out of bed. He stretched and felt his back crack. He walked down the hall to the bathroom. He found the new clothes from Horatio already waiting for him and he smiled to himself. He took a much needed hot shower.

He wandered down to the kitchen to find the coffee maker already brewing. Ryan looked through the cupboards and fridge and found everything he needed. By the time Horatio came down to the kitchen Ryan was serving chocolate chip pancakes onto a couple of plates. Horatio smiled and placed his hand on Ryan's shoulder.

"I take it you're feeling better." He said to Ryan.

Ryan smiled at his boss. "Yeah, I think last night was a wake up call I needed." Ryan said, carrying the plates to the table.

"How so?" Horatio inquired, pouring them coffee.

"I realized I've been letting myself stay stuck in the past." Ryan explained, "She's moved on, I need to now, too. If I keep living in my memories then I'm going to end up dead, and that's not what I want. I have to live my life for myself."

Horatio smiled and felt tears form in his eyes. Ryan didn't miss it. "What's wrong H?"

"I've heard someone say something like that before."

Ryan looked at him confused. "Who?"

"Jessie Bug," Horatio quietly said.


Jessica was exhausted. She hadn't slept since Wednesday night and it was now Friday afternoon. Her hands shook and her stomach growled. She saw the sign for a local diner that was off the next exit. Jessica thought it over and pulled off the exit ramp. She pulled into the parking lot and climbed from her car.

Jessica walked through the door and stopped at the front counter with the "Please wait to be seated" sign. She waited for a few minutes before someone greeted. A woman with dark hair streaked with gray. Her name tag said Theresa. "Hey honey, is it just you today?" Jessica nodded her head. "Yes and I'm in a bit of a hurry if you don't mind."

The woman smiled. "You got somewhere you need to be?" she asked, leading Jessica to a small booth by the windows.

Jessica nodded her head quickly as she sat down. "Yes, I'm headed home."

The waitress smiled at her and handed her a menu. "Well don't let me keep you waiting."

"I'll have that." Jessica said, pointing to a picture of a hamburger with fries. "With a cup of coffee, too."

The waitress smiled and laughed. "You don't waste any time, do you honey?" She took the menu from Jessica but stopped when her hand grazed Jessica's. "Honey, are you missing something?"

Jessica curled her hand up into a fist, feebly trying to hide the tan line. She sighed and knew there was no sense in hiding it anymore. "I am, and it's back home with the man I love."

The waitress smiled and patted her shoulder. "I'll be back as soon as I can. You need to get home to that man."

Jessica smiled the kind waitress. "Thank you Theresa."

Jessica sat in the booth and felt restless. She pulled out her cell phone. The battery was low. Jessica looked around and discovered there was an outlet just below her table. She plugged in her charger and watched her phone blink. Jessica looked through the texts that Jesse had been sending her, asking about her and Ryan.

Theresa returned with a large chocolate shake and a cup of coffee. She sat in the booth across from Jessica. "I didn't order…" Jessica started to say but Theresa cut her off. "You need it, I can tell, and don't worry this one's on the house." She said with a wink. Jessica smiled and took a long drink of the shake. It tasted delicious and she smiled at Theresa. "Thank you." She said, wiping her face with a napkin, "You have children, don't you?"

Theresa smiled and nodded her head. "And I've been where you've been. Let me guess- you wanted something more and he didn't so you took off. Happened to me back in 1973. My beau didn't want to get married so when I asked him and he said no I left. I was gone for three years before I realized how big of a mistake I had made. I ran back to him and there he was, waiting for me with the ring." Theresa reached across the table and took Jessica's left hand. She looked at the tan line on her finger and sighed. "I'm guessing something scared you. He did something that frightened you and you needed to get away."

"It wasn't something he did." Jessica said, watching Theresa stroke her fingers over Jessica's. "It was something that happened to me. Something bad happened back when I was a kid, and then it happened again just a few weeks ago."

"You were raped, weren't you?" Theresa gently asked.

"Yeah, how did you guess?"

"Because we always say it the same way. Something bad happened; hardly anyone ever comes right out and says they were raped. I know I didn't."
"You were a victim too."

"Yes, but my Ryan got me through it. When I came home after all those years he proposed right there on the steps of the police department where he worked. He said he bought the ring the day after I left and waited for me. He never stopped believing I would come home to him."
Jessica felt her eyes water. "His name was Ryan?"

Theresa smiled and her eyes seemed to shine. "Yes, the best man I ever met. He pulled me over because I was speeding but never gave me the ticket. Instead he wrote his number on the ticket and said he would let me off with a warning if I agreed to join him that night for dinner."

Jessica chuckled and drank more of her shake. "Sounds like a movie."
"I guess it kind of was." Theresa patted the back of Jessica's hand. "I'm going to go see where your burger is at honey. We need to get you back to that man of yours."

Jessica sat there and drank her milkshake and looked at her phone. She typed a message to Jesse.

'I think I just met my future self…well except the part where she's working in a diner.'

Her phone buzzed a few seconds later. 'Now did you really? What made you think it was you?'

'She gave me hope and reminded me why we're here.'

'That sounds just like you. Now, when are you coming home?'

Jessica smiled to herself. She set her phone back on the table as Theresa walked over with her food.


Ryan walked through the door of Horatio's house. He could hear a guitar strumming somewhere inside. He locked the door behind him and walked into the living room.

"H?" he said.

"Back here Mr. Wolfe." he heard Horatio's voice sound from somewhere in the back of the house. Ryan followed the music to the back porch. Horatio was sitting in one of the chairs that framed either side of the doorway with a guitar on his lap. It had a caramel colored body with a mahogany neck. Spiraling down the neck was a brass Celtic knot under the strings. Engraved in the body was a small koi fish. Ryan smiled and sat in the other chair.

"I didn't know you played, H." Ryan said.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me Mr. Wolfe." Horatio said, "Just like there's a lot of things I don't know about you. For example, how did you know where my spare key was?"

Ryan smiled. "Kyle told me about the false brick three above the doorbell. He said you always keep a spare in there in case anyone needs to get in."

Horatio chuckled. "That's the last time I tell that boy anything."

"So is this the famous Celesta that I've heard so much about?" he asked.

Horatio smiled and continued to lightly strum the guitar. "Indeed it is Mr. Wolfe, Sebastian's sister."

"You're the one that Jessica willed her guitars to."
Horatio sighed and ran his hand down the guitar's neck. "Yes, she wanted me to have them. She taught me how to play on Celesta here. When she knew she was going to die she wrote out her will. Everything went to Brian and Elizabeth, except for these guitars. Brian was furious when he found out. Jessabelle never told anyone she changed her will. There was a note inside Celesta's case. It was from Jessabelle. She said she knew I would take of Celesta and Sebastian better than Brian. She knew he would pawn them off. A guitar like this would sell into the thousands. She didn't want to loose them."

"So was it you that taught Jessie how to play?"

Horatio nodded his head and smiled. "She caught me playing one day when Brian dropped her off on my doorstep without telling me and Izzy walked in to find me playing. She asked me to teach her. So I did."
Ryan chuckled and pulled a burger out of one of the bags he brought with him and held it out for Horatio. Horatio set his guitar back in the case and graciously accepted the sandwich. He looked it over and smiled. "I didn't know Mack's Shack had take out."
"They don't." Ryan said, pulling a burger out for himself. "But I've known the owner for years. I called ahead and he had it ready for me, along with these." Ryan pulled out a cold Heineken and handed it to Horatio.

"Hmm, you have good taste Mr. Wolfe." Horatio said, accepting the drink.

"Paulie knows me well." Ryan smiled.

They ate in silence and watched the sun set. When they were done Horatio picked his guitar back up and continued strumming tunelessly. "I didn't have a clue how to even hold a guitar until I met Jessabelle." He said quietly, "She had Sebastian out and was playing some Irish tune. She was singing in Gaelic. It was incredible. She had such a beautiful voice." Horatio shut his eyes and leaned his head back. "That damn accent."

Ryan chuckled and listened to Horatio play. He drank his beer and looked out at the pool just off of Horatio's porch. "H, why did you buy a house that has a pool and a beach?"

Horatio opened his eyes and looked at him. "It was modest."

Ryan chuckled. "H, in what way is a four bedroom, ocean side beach house modest?"

"Nope, three bedrooms, the office was designed to be an office." Horatio smiled.

Ryan shook his head. "Horatio Caine, you could justify anything."

"Well if you want to know the truth I bought this house with Jessie Bug in mind."
Ryan sighed and looked at him. "How so?"

'It's difficult for her to find a pool she can swim in for an extended period of time."
"Because of her bleach allergy?"

"Yes, it's hard to find pools that use bleach free chlorine. Jessie can only swim for about half an hour before she starts breaking out in hives."

"I learned the hard way Jess was allergic to bleach." Ryan reminisced, "I had cleaned the counter in my apartment with bleach. It was a few hours before she came over, couldn't even smell it anymore. She leaned against the counter and almost immediately she started itchy. I felt so bad. She said it was ok though, she hadn't told me yet so it wasn't my fault."

"How long had you been dating at that point?"

Ryan thought about it. "About a month, I think. I got rid of all my bleach products after that. I missed one though, toothpaste. I didn't realize I bought whiting toothpaste that had bleach as an ingredient. That wasn't a good day."

"Did she brush her teeth with it?"

"Nope, I did…then I gave her head."

Horatio made a hissing sound at the thought of the pain Jessica had experienced. "That must have been unpleasant."

"Yeah she got something from the doctor to clear it up though. Took about a week."

Horatio chuckled. "I bet the two of you must have been dying for each other that whole week."

Ryan shook his head. "No, that was that same week that I cleaned the counter and got rid of all the bleach. We weren't having sex at that point."
"But I thought the two of you slept together then decided to be in a relationship."
"We did, but then we didn't do the deed for about two months after that."

"Hmm, what did you do during that two months?"

"Sexually? Kissing, fondling, oral, I fingered her a lot and she jerked me off. You know the 'not sex' things teenagers do. She liked getting head though. Damn, that girl would let me go down on her for hours if I didn't have this stupid habit of breathing. She frickin loved oral sex."
Horatio chuckled and looked at Ryan as he drank his beer. "Sounds just like her mother. I swear Jessabelle wouldn't even let me up for air sometimes. She told me she never liked the way Brian did it though, she preferred my techniques. When she was in the hospital and we were alone she would just pull the blanket back and spread her legs."
Ryan couldn't help but laugh. "God, I can't believe this. Here I am, sitting with my boss, drinking beer and talking about oral sex, more specifically the way his daughter and her mother liked it." Ryan shook his head and looked at Horatio. "What has Jessica done to me?"

"The same thing her mother did to me- stole your heart and never gave it back."

Ryan stared out at the sunset, swirling his beer. "Maybe I need to try dating men." Ryan aimlessly said. "Why's that?" Horatio asked.

"Well it seems every time I try to fall in love with a woman it goes all wrong and I end up crying uncontrollably for three months straight."

"You're not crying now."

Ryan sighed, "Yeah, I don't know why."
"Maybe it's because you've accepted the fact that you're always going to love her." Horatio said.

Ryan looked at Horatio and smiled. "Yeah, maybe."


Jessica groaned as she saw the flashing blue and red lights of the Kansas City Police cursor behind her. She pulled off to the side of the road and turned off her car. The officer approached her car and Jessica rolled down her window.

"Good evening ma'am," he said, "License and registration?"
Jessica pulled her license from her wallet and handed it to the cop. She reached over and retrieved her registration from her glove compartment. Her back up weapon fell out and onto the floor of the car. Jessica closed her eyes for a moment as she froze and hoped the officer hadn't seen it.

"Miss," he said, "Was that a gun?"

Jessica sighed and sat up. "Yes, but I have a permit." She pulled out her Miami Dade credentials and handed them to the officer along with her registration.

The officer looked over both. "You work for Miami Dade?"

Jessica nodded her head. "Yes, I do."

"Why are you in Kansas?"

"I was away on business and now I'm headed back home."
"Is there a reason you're driving so fast?" he asked.

Jessica didn't give the question any thought and just started rambling. "My boyfriend went into labor this morning and is about to give birth to our first son. I needed to get home so I can be with him. My father called me this morning and told me and I've been trying to get home so I can be there when our son is born."

The officer's eyes grew huge. "Oh excuse me ma'am." He handed Jessica back all her paperwork. "Please continue on. That's an awful long drive you have ahead of you."

"Yes, and I already don't think I'm going to make it in time." Jessica sighed, "I'm going to miss the birth of my son." Jessica let her eyes water a little.

"Please ma'am, go ahead. I'll send out a broadcast not to stop you so you can try and make it."

Jessica smiled at him. "Thank you sir, you've been so kind."
"You're very welcome ma'am, but you should go. I know I missed the birth of my daughter and it was devastating."

Jessica smiled at the officer one last time as she pulled back onto the road slowly.

Jessica stayed at steady speed for about two hours, just in case the officer finally figured out her story and now if she was caught speeding she would get pulled over and receive a citation for speeding and lying to a cop.

Jessica started laughing uncontrollably at the thought of her obscene story. It didn't make any sense at all but the officer had only heard that someone was having a baby and Jessica needed to be there. She pulled off to the side of the road and laughed until tears were running down the sides of her face and her abdomen hurt. Once she recomposed herself, Jessica pulled back onto the road and continued her drive home.

Jessica had been driving about twenty hours now. She hadn't slept in almost thirty-six hours and knew she wasn't going to last much longer. Jessica tried to think how long someone had to go without sleeping before they started going crazy. She was pretty sure it was seventy-two hours. At the rate she was going she should be back with having only gone fifty-two or so hours, so she was sure she was in the clear.

Jessica gulped down an energy drink and pressed down on the accelerator. She could see a cop sitting in the median just down the stretch of highway. She was only going twelve over the speed limit but decided to test her limits. Jessica ramped up the engine. She flew past him at almost one hundred miles per hour. The cop didn't move an inch from where he was parked. Jessica laughed and slowed her car down a little.

They had actually believed her story! Jessica couldn't believe it! She was in the clear, but for how long she didn't know.