Thank you so much for all the support! There's still more to come, so don't think it's over yet! Hope you all enjoy this chapter

"What's wrong with him?" Dean demanded after Bobby managed to get Sam to leave. It'd been hard work – he refused to let go of his brother now that he knew he was alive.

Ariel shrugged, "I don't know for sure. I checked him out briefly, but I didn't have heaps of energy just lying around."

Dean sighed, running a hand through his hair and wincing in pain. It just wasn't fair. He'd done everything he could to protect Sam – even gone to Hell to bring the kid back. He'd sacrificed everything to save his little brother, and now some demon had just taken that away from them. They'd swept in and stole everything that Sam was, leaving him as nothing. He hadn't been able to stop them, stop them from breaking down the one thing Dean lived for.

"Why isn't he afraid?" Dean asked quietly, gaining Ariel's attention. She looked at him sharply.

"Ah, that."

Dean cast her a curious, suspicious glance, "What do you mean, 'ah, that'?"

She and Bobby exchanged a quick look, one that sent a shiver of fear and suspicion running through Dean's body. That look didn't bode well. What had happened?

"Sam was freaking out," Ariel started.

"He was bad, Dean. Really bad. There were some times when he was okay – when he was mostly out of it. But then he'd wake up and we could barely control him. He'd scream and throw a fit and you know how big your brother is. It's not easy holding him down when he's screaming that you're trying to kill him. We had to do something-"

"What did you do?" Dean interrupted, confused.

"I had to let him retreat back. Into his mind. He couldn't deal with the blindness, on top of the memories of the torture, along with the bites and the fever I only just managed to keep down and heal. So I pushed him back further into his mind."

Dean was silent for a moment. He certainly hadn't been expecting that. How could Bobby let Ariel do that? To Sam? To his little brother?

"You made him worse?" he finally managed to get out through his shock.

"You didn't see him Dean," Bobby said in his stern I'm-in-charge-now voice, a warning for him to shut up "You didn't see how bad he was. And Ariel's an archangel - she'll be able to fix him up later."

"What if she can't?" Dean demanded, finally putting the question out there. He glared at Ariel, who simply glared back. Bobby opened his mouth to speak but the redhead interrupted angrily.

"Then at least he's peaceful, and not trying to tear the place down or hurt anyone. He thought I was trying to kill him at one point and nearly ripped my throat out with his teeth. At least now he's calm. He's happy."

"He's not Sam."

"It was for the best."

Ariel huffed after her last sentence and fluttered away, leaving Dean and Bobby alone. The former looked up to Bobby, desperate for it not to be true. They couldn't have hurt Sam like that. They couldn't. But Bobby just gave him a hard stare and left him.

That was the end of that conversation.

/\/\

Dean was okay. That was good. That was always good. He was fixed. Just like that girl had said. She was nice. She was friendly. Like Rafe. He was friendly too. But the girl was nicer. She let him see Dean. Not see. She let him be there. She let him come and be there. She was nice.

The other one was nice to. But he was quiet. He didn't say much. Just 'sorry'. That didn't make sense, but the man seemed worried. That wasn't good. But nothing Sam did made the man feel better. So he stopped trying. That didn't work either. That was confusing.

At least Dean was okay. That was good. Very good. The girl was good to. She let him be with Dean. She was confusing sometimes, but she was still nice. She said funny things. Like that he still had things to do. Things to say. She didn't tell him what. He figured she would tell him eventually. She said it was important. She'd risked a lot, she said. He wondered what she wanted. But she was nice.

At least Dean was okay. That was very good.

/\/\

Dean didn't speak to anyone for the rest of the day. He didn't speak to anyone for the next two days. He was angry, too angry to trust himself to speak. He could barely look at Bobby or Ariel without wanting to get up and hit them. But getting up was painful, and he wasn't ready for that. When he was, he swore he'd do it. How could they do that? To Sam, to him? How could they make it worse? Of all the stupid, ill-conceived, idiotic ideas either of them had ever had, this was by far the worst they'd come up with so far. How could they hurt Sam?

Even Castiel pissed Dean off. The angel should have done something. He should have stopped them, protected Sam, anything. But he'd just stood by and let them hurt Sam in ways Dean probably couldn't even comprehend. His little brother was gone. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to handle that.

Holding back his anger wasn't helped by the fact that someone had to look after him while he was healing. He mainly asked Castiel when he was around, but he was getting tired of him. He was getting tired of everyone. No one was helping, and they all had pathetic excuses for why.

His anger also wasn't helped as Castiel insisted on continually turning up. He wouldn't say anything – just stand there for a moment. Dean would open his mouth to tell him to piss off, vanish, disappear. And then he would. Just like that, before Dean could get a word out. With that sad, kicked-puppy look that Dean swore he'd learned from Sammy.

And that brought his thoughts right back to Sam. Sam stayed with him as much as possible. It broke Dean's heart to watch his brother, hurt by the ones he'd trusted. Sure, Rafe and Maria had done the most work, but Castiel and Bobby? Ariel he barely knew, but Bobby and Cas were supposed to help Sam, not hurt him. They'd done the exact thing they'd tried to stop Maria from doing. Hypocrites.

There was that fluttering of feathers and Dean knew it was Castiel. Ariel entered with flair and style – usually in mid-sentence when she popped into the room. Castiel however was silent. Never said a word, which annoyed Dean more than anything. If only he'd just say something. Anything.

Dean tilted his head to see the angel. He was on the far side of the room, pressed against the wall, blue eye wide and staring. Dean was sure he'd seen something similar before, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He waited, almost daring the angel to speak.

Finally, Castiel opened his mouth and, what a surprise, words came out.

"I'm sorry," he almost whispered.

Dean hadn't been expecting that. He stared for a moment, stunned into silence. When he managed to get his voice back, he tried to force a few words out in reply.

"For… what?"

The next words were a rush as Castiel didn't even breath between sentences, "I'm sorry Dean, I'm sorry for not protecting you and Sam, I'm sorry for letting you get caught, I'm sorry for not being there, I'm sorry for not getting you out earlier, I'm sorry for not being there to save you, I'm sorry for not finding you in time, I'm sorry for not being able to fix you, I'm sorry for not being able to fix Sam."

After that outburst, Dean was once again shocked into silence. The pair stared at each other, Dean not quite sure what to say. He'd never seen anyone so upset, let alone that stoic, grumpy, moody angel. Not Castiel. Castiel didn't get upset. He got angry, annoyed, depressed. He didn't get upset. He didn't feel sad.

And he didn't feel guilty.

"Cas, you know it wasn't your fault, right?' Dean tried first.

"I should have protected you – Maria should never have been able to get to you. You and Sam are too important to be left alone and I left you without protection. You could have said yes, Dean. You could have gone through with the apocalypse."

There was an unspoken sentiment at the end of that piece that they both could hear, but neither needed to say. They understood.

You could have died.

"Maria was one nasty bitch. You wouldn't have been able to stop her anyway – she would have killed you. And then what? I'm just glad you got us out of there at all. And trust me Cas, I wasn't anywhere close to breaking point."

Again, there were those unspoken thoughts. Dean wasn't sure this time if Castiel understood, but he did, and that was what mattered. He knew.

But Sammy was. I've got Sammy to live for and protect. But Sam…

"If I had been able to find you, Sam wouldn't be in this situation."

"Cas, you couldn't. It's all 'ifs' and 'should'ves'. There was nothing you could have done."

Silence. Castiel and Dean stared, and in that moment it finally clicked in the hunter's head where he'd seen Castiel's posture before. On the dozens of houses he'd broken into to save the inhabitants, when they'd seen him.

And been scared. Of him. Pressed against the wall, as far away as possible, eyes wide.

"It wasn't your fault."

Castiel just nodded absently, not really listening. But then he turned the full force of his blue gaze onto Dean and spoke again, the hunter's heart ripping in two.

"I won't apologise for what Ariel did for Sam."

"For Sam? She hurt him, Cas! You hurt him!" Dean shot back angrily "You made him worse."

"We had no choice!" Castiel returned, Dean started to fall back under the angel's sudden anger and defensiveness "We had to! Sam needed it! He was hurting himself, and Ariel stopped it!"

"All you did was make him hurt more. You did the same thing Maria and Rafe did to him. You broke him," Dean spat venomously in Castiel's direction.

He didn't expect the reaction he got. Castiel reeled back lit he'd been hit. And then… damn, he wasn't about to cry, was he? Dean thought. Castiel lifted his head almost arrogantly, dismissing Dean's thoughts as he took a bold step forward with a dark look on his face. Now it was the hunter's turn to back away, pressing himself down into the couch he was laying on – anywhere away from that fury.

"We helped him and you can't see it, Dean," Castiel said in a dark, low tone – not quite a growl, not quite a hiss "She fixed him. I came here to say sorry, and maybe get you to see sense. But you can't even see past your own hurt to see everyone else's. Maybe you should look around and see the hurt that you're causing."

And with that terrifying last statement, Castiel spun and vanished into thin air, leaving a stunned and confused Dean staring at the space where he'd been a second before.

/\/\

Castiel had no idea where he'd landed. Somewhere alone, cold and quiet. No one to hear him. He dropped to his knees, head in his hands.

He'd done it for Dean. He'd done it for Sam. He'd helped him. He knew Sam needed it, and so hadn't said anything. He knew Ariel would be able to get him back. So there was nothing wrong with making it easier for Sam to cope. Otherwise he'd probably have killed or seriously injured someone by now. With Bobby in the wheelchair, it was all the more likely. None of them could have taken that risk.

Dean couldn't see it. He needed Dean to see that. The turmoil that was twisting his gut around was killing him. Dean was only stirring it, coiling them more and more. Making the pain worse.

He'd gotten the answer he needed when he'd apologised. Dean didn't blame him for Maria. He knew he couldn't live with himself if Dean blamed him for the pair getting caught and tortured. His Father knew just how much he'd been beating himself up over knowing he'd hurt them. He'd hurt the ones he'd sworn to protect. But Dean didn't blame him. Sam didn't either, but then again, did his opinion really count? He had the mind of a toddler at the moment; he wasn't really able to make decisions or form any sort of opinion about Castiel's guilt.

But Dean? Dean should be able to see what he'd done. How much he'd just hurt the angel who'd done everything to bring him and his brother back. He'd never hurt Sam. But Dean had just stabbed him in the back, tore him to pieces then scattered the pieces without a care. With just a few words, he'd hurt Castiel in a way the angel wasn't sure either of them would be able to fix.

He'd done it for Dean, and the man hadn't seen it. Hadn't understood the heartache Castiel had risked for this. He'd risked everything for Dean to say something good about him. Even just 'I understand'. Even a nod of approval would have been enough. He'd risked everything for nothing. Nothing but pain and suffering.

Castiel ran a hand through his hair, sighing slowly. Why, of all the people he could have been stuck with, was he sworn to the Winchesters? The ones who never understood just how much he loved them and how he did whatever it took to make sure they survived and never agreed to Lucifer or Michael. He would die before that would happen. Why was he stuck with the two most painful people in the world? Castiel didn't know, but he wouldn't let go for anything. The Winchesters were his, no matter how much they hurt him.

If Dean didn't want to understand, then fine. Castiel wouldn't force anything on him. But the angel knew that Dean would eventually see. He would understand. And when he did, Castiel would be there to pick up the pieces, the way he always did.