I do not own Final Fantasy 7 or 8, nor do I own Kingdom Hearts I or II or any of their characters. They belong to Square Enix.
Autumn
Chapter 6: Contemplation
Leon was not in their cabin for most of the evening, presumably being hunted down by Yuffie and forced to agree to the midnight swim. Cloud, on the other hand, was doing some of the assigned Bio work as well as the homework from his other classes that he had received early. As he brooded over a particularly annoying Calculus problem, Cloud heard the door open and it was none other than Leon. Cloud turned back to his work, but glanced at the clock. 11:07. It was almost time to get ready for the swim. Cloud gave a quiet sigh and resumed his work. Perhaps he could finish this assignment before then.
Leon rummaged through a couple of his bags for a minute before pulling out a swim suit. "I'm gonna change, so don't turn around," Leon stated blandly.
"Like I'd want to?" Cloud snickered, scribbling down the answer to the overly annoying problem and moving onto the next which was the exact same problem only with a different x variable.
Leon didn't reply as he stripped and changed into his bathing suit. Feeling weird wearing no top he added a plain white t-shirt to the ensemble.
Cloud sat, distracted by how he knew Leon was stripping right behind him and a light blush stained his cheeks. Why had Roxas gone so far as to talk to Leon on purpose? It was horrible not knowing, but he knew Roxas had the best of intentions, right? Then again if he didn't know the reason he couldn't assess the validity of the statement. Perhaps, despite Roxas's request, he should ask Leon about it. Cloud scrunched up his nose and wrote down the final answer to the problem he was working on and closed his math book triumphantly. One assignment down. He smiled and stretched his arms, leaning backwards and closing his eyes. Was it that big of a deal to ask Leon despite Roxas's warning? It was only an explanation, how much damage could it do? "Squall?" Cloud asked, keeping his eyes closed, but leaning back forward and resting his elbows on the small table.
"Cloud." Leon answered stoically, leaning back down to search for his sandals in his bag.
Cloud paused, swallowing and opening his eyes only to stare at the wooden wall. "What was it you and Roxas were talking about in the woods?"
"Why do you care?" His voice was icy daggers in Cloud's confidence, but he did well not to show it.
"My curiosity is killing me, and Roxas won't tell." Cloud's straightforward answer surprised even himself a little bit. It was true, though. It had been consuming his thoughts for all of three days since he interrogated Roxas. He... wanted to know.
Leon wondered if he should tell the truth. He couldn't keep up this ice façade for much longer; it was killing him inside that he couldn't just tell Cloud how he felt. But what Roxas had said to him rang dreadfully true... He had nearly ruined Cloud's life once before, there was no insurance that he wouldn't do it again. Not to mention, there was no way Cloud returned his affections. Cloud was as straight as an arrow and everyone knew it. There was no use telling him since the rejection was immanent. Yuffie always told him, "Squally, you'll never know if she likes you unless you ask her." Even though she had been speaking about Rinoa at the time, Leon reckoned the principle still applied. But did it? There was a zero percent chance of it being worthwhile and would probably just end in embarrassment for both of them. But a piece of Leon, despite his continued doubts, desperately clung to the miniscule possibility that Cloud liked him back. Just maybe there was a chance it wouldn't be a confession given to deaf ears.
Cloud turned in his chair to look at the brown-haired man. Was it that hard to think of what they were talking about? "Can't you remember?" He teased lightly, but Leon didn't respond. Standing, Cloud waved his hand in front of his companion's face. "Squall?"
Blinking at the hand, Leon was broken away from his thoughts by an annoyed Cloud.
"Whatever. Don't tell me. I don't care anymore," Cloud complained, grabbing his towel from it's hanging place on the end of the bed and leaving the cabin in a worse mood than if he hadn't asked. Was it that hard to tell him, that hard to remember, or was Leon just not telling him because it knew it annoyed Cloud? That must be it. There was no other reason that Leon wouldn't have told him, right? Right. He was just an ass and that's all there was to it, Cloud decided.
Leon sighed, slipping on his sandals. It wasn't that hard to tell him, and Leon knew it, but the fact that he was too afraid to was what scared him the most. Cloud meant more to Leon than he had ever expected him to. He had never felt this way, even with Rinoa. Sure, he had been in love with her, but somehow things with Cloud felt... different. Like he might just stop breathing if Cloud so much as looked at him. Leon shook his head, willing the thoughts of the blonde to disappear, but no such luck.
Soon enough, Yuffie came bounding into the cabin to find Leon spacing out, sitting on the single bed. "What's up, Squally?" Yuffie asked with concern, sitting down next to her friend. When Leon didn't answer, Yuffie huffed a sigh of annoyance and whacked him (quite hard) on the head.
With an "ow" of both surprise and pain Leon looked over at the brunette. "What was that for?" He nearly snarled. Why was it she always seemed to be the one that he wasn't afraid to take his mask off in front of?
"You were ignoring me, dummy!" Yuffie complained, whacking him on the arm a little too hard. That was going to leave a bruise.
Leon remained silent, but gave Yuffie a look that said "so, you were saying?" Oh, that was right. The swim. The thing he had been working around all day? It was supposed to start in less than ten minutes. Perhaps that was why Yuffie dropped by.
"Is there something wrong?" It was an uncharacteristic concern Yuffie showed that Leon had only seen on one other occasion. It made him think that he must be really troubled if she was going that far as to ask him.
"Nothing." A lie, naturally.
"Liar. Liar, liar pants on fire!" Yuffie exclaimed, jabbing Leon hard in the ribs. Ow. Yuffie was such a bully sometimes. "Seriously. You've been even more distant than normal this week. I want you to tell me what's wrong." She added, "Now, Leon."
"There's nothing wrong," Leon insisted, standing up and grabbing his towel off of his bed. His mask firmly set in place, Leon was determined not to let the girl invade his thoughts this time. "You came to drag me to that swim, right?" He asked rhetorically, moving for the door only to be caught on the arm by two urgent hands. Leon turned his gray eyes to meet her brown ones. The concern they held made Leon's confidence falter, but he didn't show it.
"Please, Leon," she pleaded, very unlike her, "Tell me what's wrong..." She paused, expecting an answer, but got none. Taking a guess she asked, her eyes still constant with his, "Does it have to do with Cloud?" She scanned his eyes for some sort of answer and found it as his eyes softened at the mention of the blonde's name. She smiled a soft smile at her friend. "So it is."
"It's none of your business, Yuffie," Leon hissed, praying she would let up lest he let his guard down to her.
Yuffie cocked an eyebrow at this. "That's never stopped me before, and I know you need to talk about it, so just tell me already. You know you'll end up telling me one way or another anyway." The ninja was right, Leon had to admit. He would tell her eventually. He always did, but that did not mean he wanted to tell her now.
Leon kept eye contact with those interesting brown eyes of hers, and contemplated telling her. How would he ever tell Cloud he liked him without first telling his closest friend? It just didn't seem logical.
He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again when he couldn't find just the right words to say how he felt. He sighed and, after breaking that mind-wrenching eye contact for just a moment, looked straight into Yuffie's eyes and said, albeit a tiny bit shakily, "I like him more than you could ever know, and it's killing me inside." It felt like the world had been lifted from his shoulders when he could feel his mask melt away.
Yuffie smiled one of the most genuine smiles at him she had since Rinoa passed. "Now was that so hard?" She asked, teasing her friend. She dropped her hands from their hold on his arm and sat back down on the bed, patting the place next to her. "Come sit and tell Dr. Yuffie all about it."
Leon smirked at her silliness, but sat down next to her nonetheless.
"So, when did you know?" Yuffie asked him happily. Leon suddenly felt like he was being interrogated by his mother, which made him smile.
"The first time I saw him in science this year. He had changed so much and I knew he was finally over what happened back then. He didn't care anymore." Leon paused to take a breath; all the memories rushing back to him made his voice falter, "Somehow knowing that made me see him in a whole knew light. Like-- like he was an entirely new person. And then when I really took the time to watch him around Tifa, I saw his smile. It was breathtaking, and I..." It took him a moment to figure out how to phrase it. "I fell in love."
The silence that ensued was happy to say the least, and Yuffie had a hard time not glomping her friend into the bed with pride. So, she settled with wrapping her arms around his arm and resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm so proud of you, Leon. You haven't meant something so sincerely since we had this same conversation about Rinoa. But, why is Cloud any different from her?"
"How is Cloud not different from her?" Leon asked with a chuckle, a certain comfort coming to him from the weight of the woman on his right shoulder. "The most obvious being that he's a guy."
"You know that love knows no gender. What's it matter that he's a guy?" Yuffie smiled into her friends arm and snuggled a little closer. He was so nice to snuggle into. Cloud was luckier than he could ever know.
What did it matter? Oh, that's right. "He's not gay." There was no way they could be together if Cloud didn't even like guys. Then again, nei--
"Neither are you. You don't like guys. You never have. Am I right?" Leon gave a small nod.
"He's different..." Leon breathed. It was curious how Yuffie could get Leon to spill his heart to her without even trying that hard. How did she did it Leon would never find out.
"So, if he can make you look at him the way you do, despite not being interested in men, maybe you can do the same for him. You'll never know if you don't--"
"Ask him. I know." Yuffie was cut short as Leon finished her all too familiar sentiment. (1)
Yuffie sighed, took a moment for the thought to think in and then jumped up from her position by his side and shouted, "Now c'mon, if we don't hurry we'll be late for the swim!" She picked up her towel from its discarded spot on the table (on top of Cloud's math textbook) and headed for the door. Just as she opened it, she turned and in a comforting voice told Leon, "You'll be just fine no matter what happens in the end. That much I know for sure." She then dashed out the door shouting a "hurry up you slow bunny!" as she disappeared.
Leon sighed. Maybe she was right. It's not as though feelings this strong could be completely one-sided, right? He still clung to the possibility, despite the odds.
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When Cloud arrived at the decided lake spot, he was the only one there. Setting down his towel and laying it out on the comfortably dry grass by the shoreline Cloud noticed it was just a little too cold for a swim, but once Yuffie had an idea, she would never back down from it. He even caught the smell of rain on the wind. Maybe it would rain whilst they were swimming. He had to admit, that would be a pretty unique experience. He smiled a little and looked out at the lake, deciding it would actually be pretty damn cool if it did rain, thus started looking forward to it. The lake was crystal clear and smelled ever so slightly of chlorine. It was a small enough lake that the camp was able to buy it off the large landowners nearby and chlorinate it in order to make it suitable for the campers to swim in. How thoughtful of them. It was definitely a different experience from swimming in a manufactured pool.
Smiling ever so slightly, Cloud stripped out of his t-shirt and flipped off his sneakers, leaving them by his towel and waded in a few feet. The water was surprisingly warm, maybe 70 degrees Fahrenheit? When he turned around, Yuffie was stripping down to her bikini, obviously not noticing him.
"Yuffie." Cloud said at a normal volume. Yuffie jumped at her name and looked out to the water and found the moonlit blonde spikes with her eyes after a little squinting.
"Cloud?" She asked, suspicious. "It is you!" She decided, defiantly pointing at him and shouting, "You're gonna pay for that..." With that she tugged off her tall, lace-up boots (why did she never wear any other shoes?). Finally free of all her clothes save for her bathing suit, she dashed out into the water and jumped on Cloud, dunking him. He came back up sputtering in surprise, his spikes flat against his face. Yuffie combed back her own short, black hair with her fingers to uncover her eyes. Cloud just flipped his head from side to side, effectively releasing any and all blonde tresses from his face.
"See? That's what you get for scaring me," Yuffie giggled as Cloud shot her a small glare.
As Yuffie and Cloud began a dunking battle, the majority of the group showed up and joined in on the fun. Aeris, who had ultimately refused the bikini Yuffie had offered to lend her, sat in shorts and a tank-top on the shore reading a book. Cloud didn't even notice when Leon arrived because he took a seat near Aeris, calmly watching the festivities.
Cloud only became aware of Leon's presence when Yuffie shouted, "I want to see Cloud race Leon across the lake!" Cloud, turning around in the water and brushing some hair out of his face, wore a surprised expression. He had all but completely forgot about Leon, and instantly looked over at the shore, catching the brunette's gaze. A race, huh?
"Sure," Cloud agreed, confident he could win. He had swum for the Traverse High Swim Team for all four years of high school. He was confident he could win. He would win.
Leon kept looking on from afar, coldly staring into Cloud's sapphire eyes. What was the point of a swim race against cloud he would never be able to win? Cloud was the team's star swimmer, had been all through high school. As Cloud's eyes became determined, Leon knew there was no way out. Sighing silently, he hoisted himself up from his sitting position and stripped out of his white t-shirt that was illuminated by the soft glow of the moon. He left it by his towel.
When Leon took off his shirt, Cloud couldn't help but stare a little before tearing his eyes away. He hadn't really thought about it before, but Leon was really good looking. Cloud mentally smacked himself for thinking anything like that about Squall.
Cloud swam up to the shore, stopping at a line indicated by Yuffie defiantly shooting her arm straight forward. Leon waded out and followed suit. Looking at them both with suspicious eyes, Yuffie told them, "Alright. Let's have a good, clean race. First to the other side of the lake by that rock--" She indicated by pointing to a rather large ovular rock on the other side of the lake. "wins. Get ready." She paused as cloud moved one leg back in the sand, ready to push off. "Get set." Leon took one last look at Cloud's blonde spikes. "Go!" And they were off. It was impossible to see who was the lead from their point of view.
"Was there a point to that?" Tifa asked, giving Yuffie a suspicious look.
Guiltily, Yuffie answered, "No. Why would there be?"
"You're lying," Vincent stated blandly.
"Alright, alright," Yuffie admitted, raising up her arms with her palms out like she was being asked by a policeman to calmly step away from the vehicle. "I wanted to give Squally an opportunity to talk to Cloud without us here."
"You did what?" Roxas demanded, pushing away from where Axel had been holding onto his waist. "Why the hell would you give Squall a perfect opportunity to tell Cloud he likes him?"
"Leon likes Cloud?" Sora asked, blinking at his twin brother. The entire group gave Sora a look that said "well-duh-how-did-you-not-notice". Sora sheepishly backed away towards Riku.
Yuffie explained, "What's wrong with giving him the opportunity? Squally really likes Cloud and I think he should tell 'im how he feels!" Yuffie gesticulated so much the water around her rippled with anger.
Roxas shot the ninja a scowl and replied, "I specifically told him to stay away from Cloud, you know. He nearly ruined Cloud's life once. I'm not about to let it happen again."
"And how are you so sure it will happen again?" Yuffie almost screamed. Aeris finally looked up from her book towards the commotion.
Roxas didn't reply. Yuffie shot him a glare that could kill. "If Cloud doesn't even like Leon that way, you have nothing to worry about then, right? But even if he does, it's his choice to make. You can't stop him from making it." Since when was Yuffie master of advice? It's not like she had ever really been with all guessed she just watched way too many movies.
Roxas looked away, effectively killing the conversation. He was angry to admit it, but Yuffie was right. No matter how much Roxas wanted to protect his older brother, he couldn't control him.
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(1) This is something that my friends tell me all the time when I like someone. Funny how these things come up again. lol.
This is a lot longer chappie than I usually give this fic, but I had to find a good stopping point, even though I still don't like how I stopped it... I really wanted to add the Next like... Three scenes, but decided not to explode all of your minds. Lol!!
Well, if you like, please please please review!! It's what makes me want to update faster! Hehe!
Luffs,
Riri
