Author's note: I've just realized that in the last chapter I made a reference to "Smile Time" by having Spike comment that Angel and Nina's relationship had just started. Because this story is a replacement of "You're Welcome" which happens before "Smile Time", that's a slight breach of canon, but I won't fix it because references to Angel as a puppet are too good to waste. So, just to recap, in my story the events of "Smile Time" have already happened.

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The last hour of sunlight filters through the necro-tempered windows of a hospital room where Cordelia still lies in a comatose state, but now breathing tubes tunnel in her nose, and she is surrounded by hissing machines. Angel, Fred, Wesley, Gunn, and Lorne stand around the hospital bed, looking down at their silent friend as they listen to the doctor.

"All of a sudden her oxygen levels dropped drastically. Her lungs stopped functioning. If we hadn't been alerted, she would have been dead within minutes. Now, we have the machine breathing for her until her lungs start working on their own, but the chances of that happening are extremely unlikely."

Angel demands with a small spark of rage in the impotent sadness, "Who did this? Did security notice anyone come in here?"

"Mr. Angel, I'm sorry to say that this was completely natural."

"What do you know? I want the security cameras checked, and anyone that entered…"

"Angel, stop it," says Fred.

Angel stops and looks down, the spark of rage drowned, and after a pause says, "I'm sorry."

The doctor continues, "Look, I understand this is difficult to take. But you must understand that it was only a matter of time if she didn't wake up soon that something like this would happen." The doctor takes a deep breath. "Now, this is the part of my job I hate. Know that we can keep her alive indefinitely, but soon the question becomes whether or not that is what she would want."

Gunn asks, "You're asking us if we want to pull the plug and kill her?"

"Think of it more like letting her go naturally. Or we could wait if she wakes up. I'm not going to lie and say miracles like that don't happen, but, if I'm going to be fair to you all, I have to say that it probably won't."

The friends all exchange glances, and they are silent because no one wants to respond.

The doctor goes on, "You don't have to make a decision immediately, or even soon, but know that as time goes on you're probably just delaying the inevitable."

Wesley then asks the doctor, "Wouldn't that be her family's decision?"

"Under normal circumstances, yes, but you see… well, I'm sure Mr. Gunn could fill you in on the legal details."

Everyone looks to Gunn who just silently nods.

Angel says, "Besides, we are her family."

Again all eyes look to Cordelia lying in sunlight.

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In the waiting room, Buffy and Spike sit next to each other. After a long silence, Spike says, "Well, this is a buzz kill."

Buffy says with a smirk, "Like your buzz wasn't killed already when you and Angel smashed through that desk."

"Nah. A little pain and adrenalin never dampens my fun."

An awkward silence follows, ending when Spike says, "I don't belong here. Last time I saw this girl I tried to kill her."

"Well, Cordelia and I have never been the best of friends either."

"Help me remember, wasn't she Xander's girl before Anya?"

"Yeah, but that was over before Cordelia left." Remembering Xander causes her to add, "Oh god, I have to call and tell him. He and Willow would want to know, they've known each other since kindergarten."

"How come you all didn't know before, about the coma, I mean. Ain't she one of the vintage Scoobies? Never kept in touch?"

"Angel and I haven't talk much the last four years, and when we did, obituaries and all the rest were put on the back burner."

He smiles and says derisively, "I wasn't talking about you and Angel, pet, I was talking about the old gang and Cordelia."

At that she understands that there was something wrong in her response.

"Oh, sorry."

"Bloody hell, you've got on horse blinders when it comes to him, don't you?"

"Spike, I am not in the mood to listen to you talk about me and Angel."

"Fine." Spike gets to his feet and says, "I'm going back to the bar to get my buzz back. When you're done here, meet up with me and we'll go to my place for the night."

"Your place?"

"You heard the tank in the suit, you can't stay here 'cause you'd be too easy to find. And I'm not leaving you alone if there might be more like him tracking you."

Before she can argue, he leaves the room, but not before saying, "It's not a debate, Slayer."

Alone, Buffy admits to herself that Spike is right that she should not stay here for the night, and that since she does not have much money, it would be best to sleep at his place.

Five minutes later, all but Angel exit Cordelia's room. Wesley walks to Buffy and says, "You can go in now."

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Buffy silently peaks her head into Cordelia's room. From her partial view she can see the double tent of feet under hospital sheets and evening sunlight illuminating everything. But she doesn't see Angel.

"Angel?" she calls out quietly.

"Come in," he replies unseen. She assumes he is in a shadowed corner. Buffy fully enters the room and is then flooded by the sight of Angel bathed in golden-red sunset. He is sitting in a chair pulled close to the bed, and is holding one of Cordelia's hands with both of his, almost as if in prayer.

In terror, Buffy cries "No, Angel!"

"What's wrong?" he turns and asks.

Relieved, but confused, she replies, "Why, why aren't you on fire?"

Understanding, he gestures towards the window and says, "Necro-tempered glass. One of the perks."

"Oh," she says, looking at him in amazement.

After a few moments he notices and says, "You're staring."

Still gazing, she says, "Sorry, it's just, I've never seen you in direct daylight for more than half a second, and even then you rushed away and were all red and smelled like singed hair."

He realizes how special seeing him like this is for her and weakly smiles. He reaches and pulls another nearby chair next to his. "Sit with me," he says.

She does, and her gaze unwillingly leaves his sunlit face to the woman on the bed. The contrast between the high school girl she knew and this unconscious patient hurt the heart. Gone was the young beauty queen with the southern Californian tan. What lay in her stead was a flat, pale body, with tubes invading orifices seen and unseen. On the underside of one arm, Buffy could just see the hued edge of a bed sore, no doubt one of many. It was a body which had human vitality evacuated from it while leaving the cellular functioning.

"How did this happen?" she asks.

Realizing that due to Wolfram & Hart's altered history without Connor the story is much simpler, he says, "A demon from another dimension named Jasmine possessed Cordy so that it could be born into this world. The birth put Cordy in a coma."

"What happened with the demon Jasmine?"

"It tried to bring about world peace, so we killed her."

"Oh. Well that's different." She pauses. "Explain to me again why you're not evil."

Hastily trying to defend himself, he says, "Hey, she was going to bring world peace at the price of destroying free will. Anyone who looked at her turned into a slave. Plus, she ate people and...," he points to the bed,"... put Cordy in a coma."

"Fine. You're not evil. It just seems like an odd coincidence that one day you're preventing world peace, and the next you're a CEO for Wolfram & Hart."

"Ok, yes, that's why they offered me the job, but it's more complicated…," he stops, "Could we talk about this some other time?"

"Sure," she relents, "That's not important right now."

Angel returns his attention to Cordelia, and almost a minute of silence lingers. During these moments, Buffy notice the concern on Angel's face, more concern then she would have expected.

Then Angel asks, "Did you ever wonder why this ditzy cheerleader kept helping you when she could have just stayed away?"

Buffy answers, "I did wonder. I'm still not sure why."

"So did I. Now I know."

"Why?"

"Underneath it all, she had the heart of a hero."

Buffy is shocked by the answer. Yes, during those three years sometimes Cordelia had revealed a hidden heart that frequently surprised her, but heroism is not how she would have described it. And then she remembers herself before she was the slayer.

"Well, I was a ditzy cheerleader too once. Maybe there's a connection."

"Maybe," he agrees with a quick laugh. "I wish you could have seen her, seen how much she changed."

She can see pride in his eyes. "Tell me."

He pauses for a moment and then says, "Ok, honestly, she was still as blunt and tactless as ever."

At that they both laugh.

"Good," says Buffy, "I hope that never goes away."

He does not comment that it probably has gone away and will never return.

Angel continues, "And she was still vain and superficial at times, but..."

He is silenced by memories of Cordelia holding an infant Connor by the window in the early morning.

"But what?" asks Buffy with a smile, but something of his face lost in memory and light makes her a little jealous.

"Loving."

After that word she wants to ask a deeper question but she won't let herself.

He goes on, "And brave. Her visions hurt her so much…"

"Visions?" she asks, "I thought that small Irish guy was the one with the visions."

"Doyle. He was, but he died about a week after you met him."

"I'm sorry." She realizes that she doesn't know how many people he has lost these past five years, nor does he know about Tara or Anya.

"Before he died he gave Cordelia his visions that told me who needed help, and they caused her to have these random seizures that made her feel the victim's pain."

"Oh god."

"She went through so much pain, over and over again, but she endured it all- to help me help others."

Buffy can see he feels responsible for that pain.

He adds, "And believe or not, in her own way, she was wise."

"Are we still talking about Cordelia?"

Another small laugh. "I know, but... Buffy, when I left Sunnydale I was lost, but she got me on track. That detective agency was her idea. And when things got really dark, she was there and helped me pull through."

Buffy finds it difficult to match the Cordelia she knew with the Cordelia Angel is telling her about.

"I don't know what to say. I never knew she could be like that."

"She was- and more." He looks at Buffy, and says, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. You and the others should have been…" He stops, but then asks, his voice trembling slightly with shame, "I don't even know if… Willow, Xander, did they make it? I just assumed..."

"They're alive. Willow's fine, and Xander is missing an eye, but he's ok."

"And Giles?"

"Surrounded by even more teenage girls than when he was a high school librarian."

"Dawn?"

"College. Majoring in being indecisive with a minor in accumulating debt."

"That's good, I mean, not the debt, but that they're all alive." He looks down and nods to express relief, but also expressing guilt that he had not asked about them before.

"Hey, it's ok, well not ok, but I get it. When we meet it's like a spot light. Everyone else just fades in the background."

"Yeah."

He looks back up her and asks, "How did you do it? Keep them alive: Willow, Xander, Giles, Dawn. They were with you at the beginning, and yet you've kept them safe all this time." And he silently adds to himself that he could not save those who were with him at the beginning.

She understands what he left unsaid and replies, "I don't know how, but I have lost some good people since you left."

"Who?"

"You wouldn't know them."

"Tell me anyway."

She can see in his eyes that he truly wants to know.

"Their names were Anya and Tara. Anya was Xander's fian... well ex-fiance. It was complicated, but he really loved her. She died during the fight with the First. Tara was Willow's girlfriend." She waits to see if it is news to him that Willow is a lesbian, and when he shows no surprise she goes on, "She was killed by a bullet that was meant for me. And now every once in a while I see Willow or Xander and I hate myself a little 'cause I didn't save the people they love." She notes the cruelty of fate that Jenny, Tara, Anya, and Angel died, but only he came back. And now, so has Spike.

He does not say anything, and she appreciates his silence. Neither of them want to hear platitudes about what wasn't their fault.

Buffy continues, "And as for keeping all of the original gang alive, remember I lost you." Before finishing that sentence she takes hold of one of his hands.

"I was more like back-up than part of the gang."

"I thought of you more like our secret weapon."

They both smile faintly and then they are in that spotlight, the world fades away. Something about this moment drives them, maybe that this is the first time they have smiled and laughed together in sunlight, that she can remember, or maybe it is that they need comfort in their grief for those they did not save, or maybe something else. Whatever it is, it soon does not matter the instant their lips touch. The kiss is so tender at first, but as always they desire more and the kiss becomes painful with passion.

They pull apart.

"Sorry," he says.

"I, I shouldn't have done that. Aren't you dating a werewolf?"

"Wh... oh, Nina. We've just had breakfast."

"Breakfast? And there wasn't, like, any nakedness before that breakfast, right?"

"Well, I did see her naked."

"Oh no."

"Because I'm the one that lets her out of her cage every month… and it's not a bondage fetish. Buffy, we've just had breakfast, that's it. Besides, we couldn't do anything, I was made of felt."

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm sure you'll hear all about it from Spike."

She tries to calm herself. "Ok then, I guess this isn't so bad. Oh, what I'm I saying, this is always bad. We are bad."

"Well, I didn't think the last time we kissed was bad."

"But that was different. I was fighting for my life, you came out of nowhere, all knight-and-shining-armor-y, irresistible…"

"Oh, thank you."

"But this isn't the time or the place. Cordelia's in a coma three feet away. Hell, I'm still really angry at you, and…"

"And you're still cookie dough?"

Recalling that is her phrase, she says, "Me and my genius for metaphors."

"I thought it was cute. So, are you?"

"I don't even think the oven is pre-heated yet."

He sighs and sits back in his chair. "Well, you did says it'd probably take years." He decides to risk something and says, "Though, I do like cookie dough, especially with ice cream and fudge."

She shows no signs of recognition, and that crushes him silently.

Then she says, "Angel, now that I'm not in the craze of an apocalypse, I have to ask, myself as much as you, what were we thinking that night? Nothing's changed. The reasons you left are still there. So, why did we both hurt ourselves that night with hopes about the future?"

"I've been trying to figure that out, too. I don't know."

He is tempted to tell her about the sanshu prophecy, but he would be lying to her if he said he believed it, so he doesn't.

A passing pause. The concentrated sight of Cordelia dims the spotlight and the world returns.

Buffy chuckles and then says, "We did it again."

"What?"

"Got lost in our drama."

"Yeah."

Angel is confused with guilt that this happened in front of Cordelia, and that for those few moments she was not even there.

Buffy says, "I should get going. I'm going to hide out at Spike's tonight seeing as how I'm in plain sight here for anyone in Wolfram & Hart."

He does not want to annoy her with his jealousy, so he just says, "I suppose that's a good idea."

She is surprised at his restraint. But then she does not rise from her seat because of the sight from the window. They both look and see that the sun has reached the red horizon.

"I've never watched the sunset with you," she says.

"Then stay."

"How long?"

"How's forever? Does forever work for you?"

His echo of her words pains both of them, but they wouldn't have them unsaid.

"Forever is perfect for the next five minutes."

Buffy lays her head on Angel's shoulder and he drapes an arm over her. For those few minutes in the dying light they hurt themselves with hope.