A/N: Man, this story is kicking my butt. I liked it a lot more when it was just dialogue and made sense in my head. Anyway, here's chapter seven, finally. Forgive the shortness and enjoy.

But She's A Guy

Chapter seven ~ Hide it

It wasn't strictly proper to be doing what he was doing, but for once, Simon ignored his mother's voice in the back of his head while he crouched down behind a crate in the cargo bay. Besides, it wasn't really eavesdropping if he was concerned about his friend's welfare, right? He was simply making sure that whatever Jayne had been thinking while he paced the mess hall wasn't overly violent and that Frank would be able to handle herself.

Peeking around the edge of the crate, he saw Jayne making his way over to her as she bent down to stow an extra gun under what was to be her seat on the mule. She started slightly as she raised up and realized his close proximity. Sighing loudly, she turned away from him and began checking that the cargo had been strapped down properly. Lacking anything else useful to do, Jayne moved to the other side of the mule and secured the respective ends. Simon allowed himself a small smile; if Jayne was going to start something, he wouldn't be volunteering to help. Frank seemed to agree with this and relaxed her shoulders slightly. "Thought you'd be going planet-side the second we set down," she said. Had Simon not known her, he'd have said she was being conversational. Having been on the ship with her all these months, though, he heard the accusation an acquaintance would have missed. "Did you forget something?" she asked when he came back around and just stare at her.

"I wanna sex ya proper." Simon flinched. That was certainly straight to the point. And a little too to the point, if Frank's stony face was anything to go by. Simon found himself silently waving Jayne on, knowing that he'd have to expound quickly if he was going to salvage the situation, but also forgetting that the man couldn't see him or his gesticulations. Jayne shifted from foot to foot for a moment, before hastily adding to his statement. "Y'know, consensual and the like."

Simon gaped at the merc's choice of words before rubbing his hand down his face. Evidently Jayne didn't know the difference between expounding and explaining. The man was shooting holes in the boat instead of reaching for the paddles. Frank covered her eyes with her hand, as though she didn't want to witness the oaf of a man in front of her. "They shut down the whore house, didn't they?" she asked, clearly annoyed.

Bristling slightly, Jayne straightened his back, raising his nose in an almost core-bred way. "Dunno," he said, quirking his eyebrow as though the thought hadn't occurred to him. "I ain't been." Simon was mildly impressed with the merc's new-found snobbery. The ape-man-gone-wrong-thing might actually pull this off.

Frank, however was not impressed and seemed even more suspicious of the man. Shaking her head, she dismissed the subject with a wave of her hand and turned away from him, triple checking the straps before realizing she was more than obviously stalling. "Maybe the Doc should take a look at you," she said on an exhale when she looked up and realized he still hadn't left. Simon's stomach dropped. It wouldn't do to have them looking for him when he was hiding behind a crate listening to them. It appeared that Frank was going to do just that though as she turned towards the stairwell near the air lock. Jayne didn't move, nor did he look pleased with her new plan to find Simon. "I'm sure he's got a cat scan or something to check for brain damage," she said over her shoulder as she passed him, nearly as an afterthought.

That sprung Jayne into motion, thank Buddha. In one quick step he grabbed her arm and twisted her around to face him again, anger now marring his sharp features. "Gorrammit, I'm serious, Frank," he said with a slight shake to emphasize his point.

"And what makes you think that I'd even want you to 'sex me proper'?" Frank responded in kind, never one to back down to intimidation of any kind, and certainly not from Jayne. Simon was still amazed at how well she pulled off the alpha-male dominance role as he watched her yank her arm out of her partner's grasp before jabbing him in the chest with her middle and index fingers. "Just because we've come to some demented kind of an arrangement – " she started to hiss at him, but the other merc, apparently, wasn't about to back down either. This time grabbing both arms, the larger man pulled her to him and slammed his lips against hers.

Simon tried to bury the flare of jealousy ripping through his chest, but he couldn't tear his eyes from the two before him. This was what he'd been hoping for, wasn't it? For Frank to get what she wanted? He swallowed hard, not sure if he could really go through with this. To lose her to Jayne was an insult, and went against everything he wanted for himself, but… snob though he was, he'd never been very good at being selfish. He hesitated, not sure which of the directions he was being torn by to follow.

Frank pulled away, looking a little stunned, but mostly hurt. "Tyen shaio duh," she cursed, almost too quietly for Simon to catch. "You have gone sly."

Jayne kept her close, but it was obvious even to Simon that she wasn't moving to push away from him. "Call it that if'n ya like, but it don't change a thing," he said with a surprising amount of conviction before kissing her again. Simon saw the way she tensed this time and stood to come to her rescue, but stopped before he took his first step. Her hands had moved up to clutch at his shirt and she tensed again, making Simon understand her reaction now. It went against her own rules to allow herself to give in to her desire for the man. Simon quietly crouched down again, his conflictions dropping away. Jayne was definitely what she wanted, and for once in his life, Simon felt as though he hadn't screwed up with a girl he liked.

Frank seemed to remember herself and pulled away again, using her hands in his shirt to both keep him at a distance, but also to keep him from backing down now. "Ta de ma, are you saying what I think you're saying?" she asked, a bit of residual anger still in her voice.

"I'm sayin' I'll make it good fer ya, if'n ya want me to," Jayne countered huskily as he released one of her arms so he could run the tips of his fingers from her shoulder to her elbow and back.

Frank went rigid at the touch, but Simon smirked along with Jayne when the lust became evident in her eyes. "Guess it's about time to see what you're really capable of," she said stonily, still clinging to her mask even though it was obviously slipping away.

Simon almost expected Jayne to start jumping around and whooping like the idiot he was, but he just smiled and brought his fingers up to caress the side of her neck. "My bunk, or yer's?" he asked with barely veiled excitement.

"Mine," Frank replied quickly, letting go of his shirt and turning back towards the mule, as though there was still something that needed to be done. "I'll meet you there," she said matter-of-factly. Recognizing a dismissal when he saw one, Jayne nodded to her back with a grin and made for the stairs, bounding up them three at a time.

Once the merc was out of hearing range, Frank looked up at the empty doorway that led to the mess hall and chuckled to herself. Shaking her head, she gave the mule one last glance over and then headed after the man, albeit a bit more slowly and without skipping any of the steps.

Simon sighed, wondering once again if meddling had been the best thing for everyone involved, but knowing it was by far too late to take it back. Without really thinking about what his feet were doing, he stood and made his way up towards the stairs.