Christmas 2017

"Are we there yet?"

"For Merlin's sake, Albus, we get there when we get there!" scolded Victoire. She knew she shouldn't have been so hard on him; he was only in his first year at Hogwarts, and here she was, already halfway through her seventh and final year. And, it was Christmas, after all.

The Hogwarts Express thundered through the English countryside, steaming towards Kings Cross Station. The Weasley cousins – minus Roxanne, Lily and Hugo, who were still too little for Hogwarts – had taken control of an entire compartment for themselves. None of them could wait to share their stories about the school with the rest of the family. This year would be particularly interesting, as five of the grandchildren had just begun their first year: a Weasley record. The Sorting Hat had practically had a mental breakdown (if hats could even have breakdowns) as he sorted Weasley after Weasley into Gryffindor – the way it had always been, and likely the way it always would be.

Finally, a loud, low whistle could be heard and the train considerably slowed. They had arrived. The cousins gathered their trunks and everyone bounded off. James turned to his oldest cousin. "Who's picking us up again, Vic?"

"Teddy said he was going to." Their adopted cousin had already graduated from Hogwarts almost two years before. As the group tried to navigate their way through the crowd, Albus tripped and collided into one of the many bodies congesting the train platform.

"Watch it, twerp!" came a male voice and a pair of hands roughly shoved him. It was a seventh year boy and several of his mates; Albus recalled that they all played for the Slytherin Quidditch team. The youngest Potter boy stumbled back into his older brother, who only now took notice of the commotion.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, just manhandled by some Slytherin blokes." James could identify the boys easily; they were stealing glances at Albus and clearly laughing at him. The cousins soon reached the barrier and had pushed their way back into the Muggle world. They quickly spotted Teddy leaning against a pillar a few feet away. Smiling, he sauntered over to them.

"Happy Christmas, all!" he greeted, kissing Victoire; the pair had begun dating not too long before he had graduated from Hogwarts. He ruffled everybody else's hair affectionately; the cousins smiled endearingly up at their de facto leader. "Grandma's gone mad; she'd cooked at least eight platters of food by the time I left. Oh, and Roxy, Lils and Hugo are dying to see all of you." Everyone laughed, except Albus, of which Teddy took note. He knelt down in front of him.

"What's the matter, Bucko?" employing the nickname he had used for him since Al was a baby.

Albus angrily wiped at his face with his sleeve. "I bumped into some seventh years on the platform and they were making fun of me. They called me twerp." As if on cue, raucous laughter could be heard above the crowd. Teddy turned to see the boys had not given up their sport of using Albus as comic relief. Teddy's eyes narrowed dangerously. If there was one thing that made his blood boil, it was people insulting the Weasleys. Even nearly twenty years after the Dark Lord's fall, some wizards still looked down upon the large brood as "blood traitors." As his godfather had done before him, the son of Remus Lupin took it upon himself to defend the family who had taken him in when he had had none. That being said, Teddy marched with purpose up to the seventh years, his adopted cousins following behind him nervously.

"I heard you were dissing my family," Teddy said flatly to them. The boy who had pushed Albus, obviously disturbed by Teddy's directness, tried to look cool in front of his mates by awkwardly laughing the accusation off.

"I don't even know your family, loser."

Emboldened by Teddy's bravery, Molly II cried, "You do now!" and slapped the drink the boy was holding out of his hands.

"My pumpkin juice!" the boy cried in dismay.

But that was the least of his problems, for just then Molly shoved the boy hard. The others joined in, and the four Slytherins were soon being bull-rushed by 10 Weasley relatives. A brawl ensued. Just then, the cousins and boys found themselves being thrown every which way.

"Come on, come on, break it up!" Harry roared. The Slytherins beat it, not wanting to face the wand of the great Harry Potter. The Weasleys would not be so lucky. They looked up to see Harry's face contorted in fury. He pointed to the door of the station.

"Into the Ford Anglia, NOW!" he growled. The kids trudged slowly towards the door, then picked up the pace when Harry hollered, "Let's go!" Everyone got into the magically extended car and began the long drive home. Harry sat silently in the driver's seat. The kids began whispering to each other.

"Now we're in for it," said Louis.

"What do we do?" asked Lucy.

"Pray our parents won't jinx us to death, if Uncle Harry doesn't bury us alive and dance on our graves first," suggested Fred. "I've never seen him so angry."

"I have," said Rose quietly. "Thanksgiving last year, I was up getting some water and the adults were drinking. Daddy had too much and tried to do, um... stuff with Mummy in public. Uncle Harry had to pry him off her; I think he was this close to smacking Dad."

"Blimey," said James. "And I thought my Mum was the hornet of the family." None of them noticed Harry smirk through the overhead mirror.


Soon after, however, the smile was gone from Harry's face. All of the Weasley cousins, except for Roxanne, Lily and Hugo, were lined up firing-squad style in the living room. Harry paced back and forth slowly behind them; the other parents watched from perches on the furniture.

"You beat up some Slytherins in front of Muggles. That is so wrong. Funny, but wrong." Every word was drawn out slowly on purpose. "Now, who was the mastermind of the brawl at King's Cross?"

There was a long silence until Louis and Fred stepped forward. Harry eyed them for a moment. "Step back, please," he said at last. Louis and Fred got back in line. Harry then walked behind them, his hand passing over each child's head. "Beep. Beep. Beep," he went, like a metal detector would. "Beep. Beep, beep, beep, beep. Beep. Beep. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep." His hand had passed over, then came back to rest on, Molly. He bent over and whispered in her ear. "You have a dark gift, Molly Weasley II."

"Yeah, and it's going to cost everyone a month's allowance." Bill added. When the kids began to protest, he yelled, "Do you want to make it two?" Silence reigned again.

"Actually, Bill, allowance withdrawal probably ain't gonna cut it for this. I was thinking nothing for Christmas might be punishment enough." Ron mused. The grandkids' mouths fell open, and Teddy gave an awkward laugh. He couldn't be serious, but Ron was not smiling. "Roxy, Lily and Hugo will get presents. They didn't disturb the peace in a public place. In the Muggle world, that could get you written up at minimum, thrown in jail max. Thank Merlin most of you are still minors." He turned to the parents. "We still have to discuss it. Until we decide, all of you in your room now. Don't come down 'till we tell you." All the cousins trudged upstairs to the large bonus room that was the room they all stayed in. Roxy, Lily and Hugo joined them, even though they weren't at fault. Everyone sat in silence for a long time. There was nothing to say. Finally, Teddy spoke up:

"I'm sorry. This is my fault. I was trying to protect all of you. I should watch my temper whenever someone insults our family."

"No, it was mine," Molly refuted. "I made the first move; I slapped the drink out of that boy's hand."

"It's everybody's fault," James said to the room at large. "We all played some role."

Lily tugged on Teddy's sleeve. "Teddy?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Roxy, Hugo and I can go talk to the parents. We'll give up our presents so you can have yours."

Teddy got a lump in his throat. He would never admit it, but he was a sucker for generosity, no matter how trivial the gesture. Still, he shook his head.

"Thanks, guys, but I think I'm going to go talk with the parents. Say what you want, I started it. I just goaded you guys on; I set a bad example." So saying, he got up and left the room.


Meanwhile, the parents were discussing their children's fates.

"Ron, love, don't you think this is a little harsh? I mean, we did already buy all their presents."

"No, Hermione, I don't think it's harsh! If we renege on this threat, how are they going to learn a lesson?"

"Well, Ron, maybe the threat is all that's needed to get the message across," George pointed out. "Besides…it's Christmas." All the adults laughed. Just then, Teddy entered the room.

"I thought we told you to…"

"Stay in our room, I know, Uncle Ron, but I've got something to say." Teddy took a breath before continuing. "Those Slytherin boys were making fun of Albus. They shoved him and called him a twerp when he accidentally bumped into them. It got me really mad, so I confronted them. I started the whole thing, and goaded the others on. Take away my presents; I don't care. Just leave the others out of it."

The adults looked at each other. But before they could decide on anything, all the other grandchildren came running into the room crying, moved that Teddy had been willing to take sole responsibility for the incident.

"Take away our presents, too! You can give us all coal if you want!" they begged, Roxy and Lily and Hugo included. "We're sorry!"

That did it. All the parents fell back onto the old no-allowance punishment, but had it apply only for the holiday season. They even took away the littlest ones' allowances, at their insistence because they wanted it to be even.

Later that evening, everyone sat down to watch Christmas movies. Grandma Molly passed around drinks for everyone. Suddenly, Harry stood up.

"A toast!" he called. "To family."

"To family!" everyone chorused. And with that, the large Weasley brood cuddled as the snow fell peacefully outside.