Partly a take on an in-game conversation. Also it's trash. I'm trash. Someone send help. Probably a few weeks after he gave her the rose, I'm not to sure about my timeline, honestly. Anyways, enjoy! Or be disgusted, it's up to you. :)
With each step drawing the party closer and closer to Orzammar, Myazda grew more and more nervous. She knew she should tell them. She knew she should. But what was she supposed to say? "Hey guys, I thought I should let you know that I was thug in a gang, ha ha, isn't that great?"
She massaged her temples and looked up at the sky, something that only a few months ago made her intensely nauseous. The sun was beginning to set and everyone seemed exhausted. They had covered a fair distance today, and slain a band of darkspawn. She thought now was as good a time as any to start looking for suitable camping grounds.
It wasn't much further along that they found a copse of trees a ways away from the road that would keep prying eyes at bay and would probably allow them to collect firewood with ease.
The group began pitching camp, the sun having gone down by the time they were done. Leliana had gotten a spit set up and was turning several pheasants they had bagged earlier in the day. Myazda's mouth watered at the smell. Even Morrigan's vegetables and roots looked unusually appetizing today. Her stomach growled. Zevran looked over at her, a playful smirk that was ever prevalent twisting his lips, "I take it our excursions today have worked up your appetite, yes?"
Myazda rolled her eyes, "You can't tell me you're not hungry."
"You would be quite right, I cannot. In fact, I am quite famished, but we assassins, being trained in the art of stealth, are much quieter about it," He deftly dodged a piece of wood Myazda half-heartedly hurled at him with a chuckle, "You may wish to work on your aim, dear warden. I know, I know you must be thinking, 'How would I ever be able to hit an elf as swift, and cunning as you Zevran? Even with all the training in the world?' I do not know the answer to that, but I encourage you to keep trying anyways," as he took a mocking bow, a stick hit him square in the head. He let out a laugh as Myazda smirked, "You train very fast indeed, Lady Brosca."
Myazda shook her head, "You know for someone I felled with one hammer blow, you sure are cocky."
He dramatically clutched at his heart, "Your scathing words wound me so."
Myazda let out a chuckle, "You're lucky I'm tired, or I might fell you again," she said and began walking towards Leliana as the bard pulled the birds off of the spit and began cutting them up. Myazda offered to help, and soon, supper was ready and, oddly enough, everyone sat down around the fire together. The dwarf was seated next to Alistair, with Bane at her feet, tearing into a haunch of venison, saved specially for him. She knew better than to pet him while he was eating, even though she sorely wanted to. The dog always made her feel better, and right now, she desperately wanted her queasy stomach to settle.
After everyone was mostly done and chatting companionably, Myazda took a deep breath and steeled herself, earning her a curious look from Alistair, "Are you alright, Myazda?"
She let out the breath, "We're about to find out," she dared not look at him, or think of what he might think of her when she had said what she had to say. What if he resented her? He had disapproved of Daveth, and certainly wasn't fond of Zevran. What if he thought of her as a good for nothing crook? No. Stop. They needed to know.
She cleared her throat, causing everyone to look up at her, which in turn made her face heat up with nervousness, "Umm, since we're almost to Orzammar, I thought it might be time to explain some things about… about me. I just don't want anyone to be surprised when we get there is all," she paused and willed herself to continue, "Umm, you all know that I am- was - a casteless dwarf, no better than vermin, and treated worse. What… what you may not know – or maybe you guessed- was that as a casteless dwarf, there's… there's only so many ways to put food on the table. Pretty much begging, stealing, or… working for the carta. I… I worked for the Carta," she stopped as she noticed the confused looks of her companions, "The Carta is a large criminal organization that holds a lot of power in Orzammar. We- they- do some… well you can imagine. We didn't have much of a choice, my sister, Rica, and I. We were forced to work for them because of my mother… she had a debt she couldn't pay, and pretty much sold us to them," she paused again, not sure what reaction to expect, "I… I hope this doesn't change anyone's opinion of me, I'm not proud of what I did… but," she was cut off by Zevran.
"You did what you had to, in order to survive, we could hardly blame you for it," he looked at her seriously, but kindly, and took a sip of water.
Leliana nodded in agreement, "Your past isn't important, unless you make it so. Everyone can find redemption in the Maker, after all, I didn't exactly live the most enchanted life before I came to the Chantry."
"I agree with them, save for the bit about the Maker. You survived, and that is what matters," Morrigan replied, looking as aloof as ever.
Sten simply nodded, as did Wynne, who also offered a smile, and Alistair put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "Don't worry so much, you've more than proven yourself to all of us," she looked up at him and he smiled, causing Myazda to relax a bit.
Even Bane had something to add, briefly looking up from his meal to lick her face a few times. The dwarf giggled and scratched his ears. He let out a happy woof, before returning to the deer haunch.
She wiped her face and said, "I just thought you should all know that before we went into the city. Might be important."
They all cleaned and packed up the dishes, and let the fire die down to embers with a small flicker here and there. Alistair volunteered for first watch, and Myazda decided to stay up with him, not really feeling like sleeping, despite her exhaustion.
Myazda leaned against a snoring Bane, and was reading her Bestiary. Alistair sat nearby, poking the fire with a bored look on his face. Myazda found it very difficult to focus on her book. She still feared that he thought worse of her now, and the others, what if they hadn't been telling the truth? She closed her eyes and let out an angry sigh. They had no real reason to lie, did they?
He noticed her frustration and, and turned his gaze to her, "Is a passage giving you trouble?"
She gripped the book more tightly, forced a smile, and shook her head, "No, it's nothing. I'm fine."
He raised an eyebrow, "I have a feeling that's not quite true. What's bothering you?"
"It's nothing, really," she lied, avoiding his gaze.
"Is this about earlier?" he waited for her response, which did not come. He stood and closed the distance between the two of them, seating himself closer to her and putting a hand on her shoulder, "Myazda. I told you, you've more than proven yourself to us, to me. You may have done some unfortunate things in the past, but haven't we all? I still-," he stopped himself, seeming a bit flustered, before continuing, "I don't think any less of you. You are a wonderful woman, and the Maker himself couldn't make me think otherwise," he gazed intently at her, and she looked away, trying to prevent the tears in her eyes from falling. Sod it all, she was such a cry baby. A handsome man says one nice thing to her and she's reduced to tears.
Fortunately Bane's rhythmic breathing calmed her, and she was able to return her gaze to Alistair, face unstained by tears, "Thank you, and, I- I'm sorry, I'm sure I'm being really annoying right now."
He looked at her incredulous, "Annoying is the last word I'd use to describe you. I think the words charming and brilliant fit much better," he dropped his hand with a grin, and Myazda could not help but mirror his expression, her cheeks heating up at his compliments.
"Thank you, Alistair," she giggled slightly and tried to return to her book, but still found it difficult to focus with her face all hot and Alistair so close. He had returned his gaze to the fire, looking less bored and more contemplative.
They sat listening to the crickets, frogs, and quiet popping of the embers, Alistair's words having assuaged all of her concerns, but also setting her mind on a whole other mess of thoughts and emotions, most of which had to do with him.
Eventually, the silence was broken as Alistair tossed a stick into the embers and he said, "So, all this time we've spent together… you know: the tragedy, the brushes with death, the constant battles with the whole Blight looming over us," he looked over at her, a lopsided grin on his face, "will you miss it once it's over?"
Myazda smiled, running a finger down the page of her book, and cast him a sidelong glance, "I tear up just thinking about it."
He let out a small chuckle and gazed up through the overhang of trees at the stars, "There'll be no more running for our lives, no more darkspawn," he paused looking around at the camp, "ugh, no more camping in the middle of nowhere."
Myazda raised an inquisitive eyebrow, "Not a fan of camping are we?"
"Ha! With all of the bugs and creepy crawlies? Not likely," he paused, his grin fading, "I know it… might sound strange, considering we haven't known each other for very long, but I've come to… care for you…a great deal," he looked at the ground, trying to gather his thoughts, as Myazda watched curiously, "I think maybe it's because we've gone through so much together," he seemed flustered now, and rubbed the back of his neck, "I don't know. Or maybe I'm imagining it. Maybe I'm fooling myself," he brought his gaze back to hers, nervously wringing his hands, "Am I? Fooling myself? Or do you think you might ever… feel the same way about me?"
Myazda looked up at him, her mouth parted slightly. It seemed she wasn't the only one with doubts about the other's thought of her, despite all evidence to the contrary.
His brow was slightly furrowed, and his warm amber gaze intent on her cloudy gray one. She was at a loss of words for a moment, before she recovered and quietly replied, "I- I think I already do."
The concern flew from his face, replaced by a reassured smile. He lifted his hand to her chin and slowly tilted her head up toward him, "So I fooled you did I? Good to know."
Their faces were so close, and she couldn't help but notice how tender and loving his gaze was before her eyes were shut and their lips met. Myazda's heart fluttered violently in her chest. She placed her hand at the base of his neck and pressed herself against him, as he caressed her face and brought his other hand to the small of her back. Every nerve, every fear, every bad thought melted away from her in that perfect moment.
Slowly, reluctantly, they pulled away from each other, Myazda breathless, and Alistair looking slightly nervous again, "That… that wasn't too soon, was it?"
Myazda blinked a few times and breathlessly replied, "No. Not really," her voice squeaked slightly and she cleared her throat, a goofy smile plastered across her face, "I liked it."
Alistair beamed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "Good, I'll take that as a good sign."
He took a breath, shaking his head slightly as he looked at her, is eyes roving over her face, "Maker's breath, but you're beautiful. I am a lucky man."
Myazda felt the tears come back- sod her stone-cursed feminine emotions- and put her hand against Alistair's face, "And I a lucky woman." They regarded each other for a moment, completely taken, before their lips met again and Myazda was reduced to jelly. His body was warm and solid, and his mouth soft. She felt like she could lose herself entirely in this man. A shiver climbed up her spine as Alistair pulled back, and her breath caught in her throat when their lips parted. The dwarf attempted to get her breathing under control as she gazed adoringly up at Alistair's face, trying to take in every detail, to immortalize this moment in her memory.
With a contented sigh, she laid her head on his chest, snuggling as close as she could, her eyes still on his handsome face. Never, never had she ever hoped to have something like this back in Orzammar, not in her wildest dreams.
He wrapped an arm around her and leaned back against Bane, taking one of her hands into his free one. Curled up against his warm body, and soothed by his heartbeat, she found her eyes drooping. She struggled to stay awake, while Alistair smirked, "You don't have to stay awake with me you know. You can go back to your tent," they had been able to repair the holes in her tent a week or so ago, and Myazda didn't tell anyone, but she had been a bit disappointed when they had. Leliana could tell, and it made the bard almost insufferably smug.
She smiled, "I'm plenty comfortable right here."
His smirk widened, "Well then, go ahead and get some rest."
The dwarf let out a hum and let her eyes fall closed. She opened them briefly as Alistair draped his cloak over her, and then they fell shut again and she drifted off into a blissful, dreamless sleep.
