I have a lot on my plate right now, so I'm sorry for the delay. I haven't decided if I'll continue this or not ... so if you want more, please review and let me know.

Ikkaku might be a lil' bit OOC in this one, so I apologize ... but it was necessary for the bonding moment!

Chapter 7: Secrets and Surprises

I awoke in a recovery room in the Fourth Division quarters. Consciousness trickled back slowly, and then came fully back with a crash. Opening my eyes, I tried to sit up, and winced at the pain.

A hand pushed me back down, and I heard Ikkaku's voice tell me not to move.

"How ...?" I rasped, knowing I should be dead.

"Unohana arrived just in time," Ikkaku explained, guessing my question. I swallowed gingerly, that small action alone causing me a fantastic amount of pain. I forced my head to turn and look at Ikkaku.

"What happened?"

"I took care of the creatures." There was a look of strain in my friend's eyes.

"'Took care' of them?" A new voice from the doorway said, and I moved my eyes painfully to meet Ichigo's brown gaze. "You demolished them." He gave a chuckle. "There wasn't even enough left for Squad Twelve to get a sample of."

Ikkaku gave me a forced smile. His usual overbearing manner was gone.

"You were that worried about me, eh?" I laughed softly through the pain in my throat. Ichigo snorted and moved to stand next to Ikkaku, who had a light blush across his cheeks.

"O-of course not," he said, too quickly. I grinned at him. He cleared his throat awkwardly and got to his feet.

"Thirsty?" He asked, and I nodded slightly. He turned and left, letting the door swing gently shut behind him. Ichigo leaned over me to inspect the bandages around my torso and left arm.

"What exactly happened?" I murmured, knowing Ikkaku would probably never tell me. He looked at me seriously.

"Well, after I charged in, I didn't see Ikkaku follow me. But I got there in time to see you push him aside - and -" There was something disturbing behind his eyes, and he fell silent for a moment.

"Ikkaku seriously looked like he was gonna have a heart attack or somethin'," he finally continued, his voice soft. "He went all white, and then you fell and he just went crazy." I glanced at him sharply.

"What do you mean?" Ichigo dropped his eyes to the bed.

"Well, he started screaming, and charged the thing, and when his zanpakuto couldn't hurt it ... he, uh ..."

"What?"

Ichigo swallowed heavily and finally met my eyes with reluctance.

"He went into Bankai," he said softly. "Right in the middle of the forest, where everyone in Seireitei and Rukongai could feel his reiatsu ... don't look at me like that."

I gaped at him. I couldn't help it. Ikkaku's bankai was a secret he had diligently kept from everyone but me; a secret he had sworn never to reveal.

"Of course, all the captains arrived within moments," Ichigo continued. "By that time he was completely out of control, attacking everything around him. I ended up going head to head against him to try and calm him down, but in the end it took Zaraki-taichou, Kuchiki-taichou, and Hisagi-fukutaichou to restrain him."

I swallowed heavily, hardly daring to believe it.

"He wouldn't believe at first that you were still alive, and then when he finally understood, he refused to leave your side. In fact, this is the first time he's let you out of his sight."

"Why ...?" I finally found my voice. Ichigo gave me a sad smile, something wistful in his voice.

"Oh, Yumichika, don't you get it? You still don't understand why he'd do it, do you?" He shook his head at my inquisitive stare. "It's not my place to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"He'll tell you when he's ready," Ichigo assured me, but I was a little less than convinced. He grinned. "I swear you're the thickest person I know," he laughed at my bewildered expression. I frowned prettily at the description.

I was about to question him more when Ikkaku came back with a glass of water. Ichigo looked up at him, then rose quickly and left the room with a wave. Ikkaku seated himself beside me on the bed and handed me the cup of water.

I watched him for a moment, my mind a whirl of thoughts, of unanswered questions. I didn't - I couldn't understand it. After all the trouble he'd gone to to hide his bankai, why ...?

He caught my silent gaze.

"What's wrong?" He asked quickly, immediately concerned. I looked down at the water in my hands, biting my lip, trying to think of how to phrase the question. But he saw through my silence.

"Ichigo told you what happened, didn't he?" He said quietly. I nodded.

"Why ...?" I queried. He shrugged and held my eyes, and I could tell he was fighting to decide whether or not to tell me the real reason.

"I just ... lost it," he said finally. "When you pushed me aside - and then ... when you fell ..." He swallowed hard, and if I didn't know Ikkaku better, I would have said he was choking up. "The thought of losing you, my best friend, just, I couldn't stand it. I kept telling myself you'd be okay if I could just - do something. Anything." His hands clenched in his lap, and then he buried his face in his hands, letting out a sound that was a cross between a sob and a gasp, a sound that did something to my heart because I had never seen him like this before, this hurt.

"I can still feel it," he muttered. "It's so real, the emptiness I ... I really thought you were dead, Yumi." He looked up at me, and I was utterly shocked to my core to see tears in his eyes. He forced himself to continue. "And that thought ... it broke something inside me. It didn't matter what the consequences were ... I just, I couldn't stand the thought of living without you." He bit his lip and looked down, straining to hold in his emotions.

I didn't know what to say. I would never have dreamed that I meant that much to him.

A single tear fell onto the bed as he closed his eyes, vanishing quickly as the fabric soaked it up hungrily.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug. He buried his face in my neck, breathing deeply, holding me like he'd never let go.

And I wasn't sure I ever wanted him to.

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Our moment of bonding was interrupted when the door opened softly, and Unohana-taichou came in. Ikkaku and I separated, but he kept an arm around me.

"Ayasegawa-san, you're awake," Unohana smiled, her glance flickering between us. "How are you feeling?"

I smiled back at her.

"Sore," I said truthfully. "My thanks for healing me in time." She waved off my thanks.

"That's not necessary," she said kindly; "there's no way I would have let anyone stay in the condition you were in." She came around my other side, routinely checking my temperature and whatnot.

"Besides, it wasn't all me. It's a good thing Inoue-san was on the scene," she finished.

"Orihime-chan is here?" My voice rose excitedly. "What is she doing here? And when did she arrive?" Ikkaku answered for her, grinning slightly at my tone of voice.

"She came at Ichigo's request. She arrived about the time you contacted us for reinforcements," he said. "She was actually the one who healed most of your wounds."

"That's right," Unohana added; "that girl has a natural ability for healing. She uses her power to its utmost effectiveness."

I smiled softly.

"I shall have to thank her as well, then," I said. Unohana dipped her head in a nod, before turning to Ikkaku.

"And what about you, Ikkaku-san?" I didn't miss how she used his first name, and that fact irked me for a reason I didn't bother discerning. "You weren't injured at all, were you?" Ikkaku shook his head.

"A couple scratches, but they're nothing," he said dismissively. Unohana-taichou came around to his side of the bed.

"I'll have a look at them anyway," she said kindly. "We need you guys at maximum power if the coming storm is anything like we've predicted." She inspected a shallow cut on Ikkaku's upper arm, running skillful fingers over it.

A sudden flare of jealously overtook me as I watched her heal it. Taken by surprise at my own reaction, I tried to fight down the feeling. What was this - this feeling when I looked at Ikkaku? It was like there was this warmth squeezing my heart.

It was a beautiful feeling, and so I didn't try to suppress it.

Unohana straightened a moment later, patting his arm.

"All done," she said. "Is there anything else I need to heal?" Ikkaku shook his head, and she stepped back.

"In that case, I'd best be going." She smiled at him, before switching her gaze to me. "Also, Ayasegawa-san, even though your wounds are healed, your body still can't take much, and it'll be painful for you to exert yourself for a while. If you need anything at all, don't hesitate to call."

"Thanks," I replied. She left gracefully, and Ikkaku looked up at me for a moment.

"You should probably get some rest," he said finally, standing up. I immediately caught the sleeve of his hakama, pulling him back down.

"Don't leave," I mumbled. I didn't want to be alone. I wouldn't be able to stand it. He looked into my eyes for a moment, and then smiled.

"All right," he said softly. I sighed and closed my eyes, leaning my head back on his shoulder and wrapping my arms around him. He smoothed my hair, not trying to push me off or anything. For the moment, I felt completely safe from everything.

For the moment, there was nothing that needed my attention, nothing to keep me alert, just the comforting warmth of Ikkaku's body next to mine. Soul Society could be going to Hell (in more ways than one) but for now, this was good enough.

I slowly drifted off in Ikkaku's arms, feeling like this was where I belonged.