Warnings: Threesome

Pairing: Dean/Caleb... if you squint


7 - What the hell is wrong with the two of you?

"Dude, the whole thing is… She looked just like that cheerleader you convinced to fuck us both when I was in high school." Dean Winchester slapped a bill on the bar to pay for their drinks. "Just like her. If it ain't her, it's her twin. If she's got a twin... Our night is planned."

Caleb took his beer and took a deep breath. "Which cheerleader? We did that twice. Becky with the big ass and then there was… Brisa with the bit tits."

"Who cares?"

"Liked Brisa. Loved her tits. Becky talked too damn much." Caleb made a face. "Remember? She made all that fake noise. "Fuck me big boy" and "Do me with your big cock" and all that shit. It was really hard to get off after that nonsense."

"Oh. Right. Becky the big mouth. She had a real big mouth though." Dean grinned.

"She did." Caleb glanced around the bar. "So… was it Becky or Brisa?"

"Brisa. Like… 90% certain, man."

"If it is her. If she did blow you in the men's room. When she comes over here, I'm leaving with her. Facts is facts man. She digs me more." Caleb shook his head at Dean.

"Fuck you. Why would she leave with you when she could leave with me?"

"Cause I ate her out at the prom, while the principal was giving his big speech and she's kind of in love with my cock."

"You're on, dude."

"Boys." John gripped each on the shoulder as he signaled the bartender to get him a beer. "We got a hunt in two days. Do not get locked up, tonight."

"We're not going get busted for anything." Dean shook his head. "And dude, we're over 20. We're not boys."

"That's fuckin' adorable, Dean." John pinched his cheek on the way to pick up his beer. "I'm seriously. No getting picked up for soliciting minors."

"She said she was 18." Dean held a hand up. "What are we supposed to do if they got fake IDs?"

"Be smarter." John clapped Caleb on the shoulder. "Keep an eye out for him, yeah? I'm gonna finish my beer and give that woman over there a ride home. I'm not posting bail until about noon tomorrow."

Caleb followed John's finger and slapped Dean. "You fucktard. You were bragging so long, she moved on!"

"What?" Dean turned. "No."

"You boys have fun, drinking." John took his beer back to the young woman waiting by the door.

Dean groaned and watched them leave. "Cock blocked by my dad. We need a new a bar."

"You need an uglier dad." Caleb declared and ordered a couple of shots. "I got a girl. Standby. I'll give her a call."

"No, there are still unclaimed chicks in this bar. And some of them don't need bags."

"You think maybe your problem is that you aren't willing to take one for the team?"

"What? I have, you son of a bitch." Dean slammed Caleb in the chest with his fist. "Tampa. Fucking Tampa."

"Oh right."

"That is worth like… 12 dates right there."

"Maybe." Caleb winched. "She was… unfortunate."

"Yeah, I know!"

"Okay. Go. Work your thing. I'm gonna call my girl. I'll meet you in the parking lot." Caleb shoved away from the bar. He paused for a minute before emptying his glass. "No crazies, yeah? I still kind of reeling from the last crazy bitch you fucked at my place. She didn't leave for two weeks. Two weeks, man. And I can't have that again. My girl… she's her own crazy. No extra crazy. Got it?"

"Got it. No extra crazy." Dean swore.

Caleb got outside before he pulled out his cellphone. He didn't even get a word out before she was laying down the law. "Sir, if you have even a whiff of some other bitch's perfume, I will bite your dick off."

"Hi Marianne." Caleb held the laugh in.

"How drunk are you? I'm not going all the way out to your farmhouse in the middle of nowhere if you're too drunk to keep it up."

"I'm just buzzed. I'm waiting on a hunting buddy. I'm feeling real lonely."

"What's he look like?"
"What? I'm not sharing."

"What's he look like?"

"Like… I don't know. He looks like Dean. Little shorter than I am. Brown hair. He has eyes."

"He built like you?"

"I don't know. I guess. He's healthy." Caleb frowned into the dark parking lot. "Didn't we exclude other parties from our bed… like as a ground rule? I think I remember that conversation."

"You only call me when you're drunk and lonely. If I'm hoofing it out to Bumfuck, I'm getting laid. Like seriously laid to hold me over sufficiently til the next time you get drunk and lonely."

"Oh come on, baby, it's not like that."

"It's exactly like that, Caleb. I am not another one of your dumb sluts. I own my own company. I play the market, I cook like Julia Child and I look like Jessica Rabbit. If you don't stop fucking with me, I will start fucking someone else."

"So, when are you coming over?" Caleb tried not to let his heavy breath hit the receiver.

"Are you going to share?"

"Honestly, I'd have to run it past him but I don't think he'll be into it. I'm not real sure I am."

"Don't shit a shitter, Bailey. I know all about your escapades. Rebecca Tartlton, Brisa Espinosa, Tiffany Blackhouse."

"What? How?"

"I'm a smart lady, Caleb. You really think I'd fuck someone without knowing where's he's been?"

"Then you really don't want to fuck my friend."

"You fucked the same girls already."

"I really don't want to share you with him. Especially not after Tampa."

"Whatever. I'm coming over. Don't get too drunk."

Caleb was sitting on his car when Dean stumbled out with a girl on each arm. Caleb groaned. "Dude… what the hell?"

"Caleb, this is Tracey and this is Barbara." Dean grinned. "They would like to see a real farmhouse."

"Dude… I told you. I called my girl. Oh fuck." Caleb slid off the car. "She's going to kill me."

"Just call her back."

"I can't just call her back. She's on her way, now. She will be there before we are and when she sees them, she's going to flip her lid. I've never made her mad before she's already threatened to bite my dick off once tonight."

"If your friend isn't available…" Tracey started. "I can't let Barbara go to a farmhouse in the country by herself. It's not safe."

"No." Dean chased them across the parking lot and returned alone. "What is wrong with you?"

"Dude… Marianne is crazy. I told you I was calling her. She's already pissed at me and…" Caleb blew out a breath. "I can't even break up with her. She'll stop seeing me when she finds… like the holy grail of men to take my place. I'm convinced she only sees me because we don't travel in the same circles. It was my dumb luck to catch her eye when I had to go into town to get a fucking P.O. Box. She's going to bite my dick off. I really believe she'll do it."

"Come on. I'll get you out of this." Dean shrugged. "I'm kind of known for my ways with the ladies."

Caleb got in the car and drove them out to the house. Her car was already there. Caleb made a face at the house and then turned to Dean. "I kind of said I'd ask if you'd join us."

"What? We haven't done that in like 5 years."

"Yeah, I know. After Tampa… I kind of owe you but… look. She's smokin' hot. She's probably wearing something that'll make you jizz your pants on sight. I'm not saying we need to double-team her but we're probably in for a night of making sure she's absolutely fucking happy."

"Scale of 1-10, how hot is she?"

"15."

"The fuck? What's she doing with you?"

"Her best to control me when she's here."

John walked into the house around noon and examined the remains of some Martha Stewart breakfast. Taking a cold pancake-thing with him, John chewed and picked up the books Caleb had gotten ready for their hunt. "Boys!"

"They're recovering." A female voice caught his attention. John turned to find a young woman in a trench coat sitting beside an empty plate and reading from a book that John knew hadn't come from the young hunter. She looked him over and sipped juice from a mason jar. It looked very wrong to John. "Had I known you were an option, I would have made a special request."

"Pardon?"

"I was just leaving." She uncrossed her legs to stand and John understood there was nothing under her coat. The ends of her hair were wet and curled around her neck. "Let Caleb know that I was very impressed with the show last night. It's really a shame those… boys couldn't have made it to breakfast." She stood and pulled the belt around her coat. "I'm sure a man of your… distinguishment could teach them a trick or two."

John's eyes were riveted to her lips and the way her teeth caught an innermost piece like there was just too much lip to catch altogether. "I'll do that." He couldn't even think to step back to let her by. He swallowed down a lump when she brushed passed him. "What's that scent you're wearing?"

She turned and smiled at the door. "I'm not wearing a scent. It was nice to meet you…"

"John. Winchester."

"John Winchester." She leaned on the door, her lip between her teeth again. "Don't a stranger, John Winchester. Tell Caleb to let me know next time you're in town. I make a mean crepe. I usually stick around for breakfast. Do you?"

"Marianne! You down there? I can't get this thing off." Caleb came stomping down the stairs with a black stocking knotted around his wrist. "Oh. Hey, John."

John kept his eyes on Marianne at the door. She took Caleb's wrist and freed it of the stained stocking. She kissed his mouth and disappeared out the door. Caleb turned to John and crossed his hands over his bare chest. "Dean's passed out."

"Okay." John nodded and tilted his head to catch a flash of thigh when Marianne climbed into her shiny sports car. "Marianne, huh. Looks a little rich for your taste."

"Yeah…" Caleb winced. "Did she say something to you?"

"Not really." John took his eyes off the window and looked to the younger man. "You had her tested?"

"She had me tested." Caleb admitted.

"No. Tested."

"No… why?" Caleb glanced up at the stairs and then back at John.

"Something about her. Succubus. Wood Nymph."

Caleb laughed. "She's not a wood nymph. Nympho, maybe."

"You're sure?" John gestured to the door.

"I know the signs, John. Trust me. That's just your… everyday… 15 on a scale of 1-10. She drives me crazy and she's got rules out the wazoo but she's human." He picked up a cold crepe and shoved half in his mouth. "Trust me. She saps my energy, not my soul. And she cooks."

"Pretty good." John nodded and helped himself to another cold folded mess. "You sure?"

"She get you hot and bothered before she left? She does that." Caleb examined the rest of the leavings from Marianne's breakfast. "Man, she cooks."

John sat at the table and watched Caleb move around the kitchen. A while later Dean came tromping down the stairs fresh from his shower. He sank into a chair and took coffee when it was offered. "Man. I think I pulled something."

Caleb laughed. "I think she was hitting on your old man this morning. He thinks she's a wood nymph."

"Nympho, Dad. Nympho." Dean groaned. "I didn't think I'd say it but I'm really, really glad we lost Tracey and Babs at the bar." Dean looked to his father. "How was Brisa?"

"I don't kiss and tell, Dean." John glared at him. Then he stared at the two young men. "Am I to understand you shared the nympho? What the hell is wrong with the two of you? Your choices in women are sketchy at best but to find one that wants to double-team? That's the classy lady you bring home?" He dropped the crepe he was eating and wiped his hand on his pants. "I'm going to a motel."