Radiation Doesn't Work That Way

Le Enfant Terribles

April's whole body hurt. She felt really fatigued and her stomach hurt something awful. She could tell she'd been in and out of consciousness because one second her throat was fine, and the next it was dry to the point she could taste stomach bile on her breath. So when she started moaning, it was half unaware and half trying to summon someone, anyone.

She heard a gruff voice saying "Ah, she's getting awake; about time for her to get on it and out of my clinic."

April tried to open her eyes and was blinded by the light in her eyes. She breathed in and could smell metal and sweat. Not a good combination. "Radiation….." she tried to protest and then her head hit the surface she was laying on and she blacked out again.

The next time she took in a deep breath, shot up and fell off the bed she was in. She was breathing heavily then started cursing because she tipped the bedpan over and her leg was covered in her own diarrhea.

April: "Eew, Oh God, FUCK FUCK FUCK!" she tipped the bedpan back right-side up and was astonished how much was still in it. Of course, some of it had gotten all over April's left hand and she screamed in disgust and then began to gag violently at the smell of shit and piss.

April was horse but continued to scream as Brisa come into the room and said in a very breathy way, "Oh God!" then bolted out again. The sound of her throwing up everywhere soon followed. Then came in a stern looking black man with a white beard and some towelettes.

Man: "Oh for fuck's sake, it's just a little shit. Calm down will you?!"

April quickly tried to cover her breasts and genitals, only to too late remember that this meant there was now fecal matter smeared all in her pubic hair which caused her to scream louder.

The man gave a loud groan of exasperation, then calmly came over to April's naked form and began to gently wipe the back of her legs.

Man: "Hold still." And April was still although completely grossed out and biting her lip in mortification. Gently, ever so gently, the man finished up with her legs, all up and down from the thigh to the Achilles Tendon. She took out another and cleaned off her hand and wiped the shit from her dark public hair, and said, "There now, all better?"

April: "Yeah…..yeah. Thank you."

Man: "You're welcome. I'm Doc Church, and this is my clinic, You're in Megaton. Now, don't ask questions, just walk away over past my office to the chemical shower. Use it to get yourself clean….ah ah ah….there are towels over there for you to use. Now be quick!"

April quickly scurried handing her breasts and crotch. It was a tin shack, or something like it, well lit with lights hanging from the cleanings and primitive windows cut out and glassless providing both ventilation and extra light. It looked clean enough to be a doctor's office, of some kind at least. Still, the metal walls seemed to be assembled piecemeal, bits on top of other bits.

The shower was at the end of a hall, made private by two, in use filing cabinets, at least judging from the papers sticking out of them. It was cold, metal smelling water, but it got her clean enough. When she came back Brisa was there mopping up her filth off the floor with a mop, while April's Vaultsuit was laid neatly on her bed.

April sat down, and Brisa moved away, being done, and April said "Brisa, could you turn around, but don't leave." April began to dress.

Brisa: [back to April] "You were out four days."

April: "Radiation poisoning that bad?" she asked this as she stumbled and fell into her underwear. She actually fell on the bed as she pulled her underwear on.

Brisa: "Three rounds of Rad-Away, and that's after a quarter of a bottle of Rad-X. It wouldn't have killed you, but you'd have been in a real hospital for months otherwise."

April: [putting on a cloth bra] "You don't sound good."

Brisa: "Yeah, I can't breathe out of my nose and I'm getting constant diarrhea. Yours is all the Rad-Away; mine's, well I'm not paying for the tests but I suspect it's waterborne. Your fucking brother is right as rain. He's been working around town for the last few days."

April was at this point getting into her Vault Suit, forcing her legs into the tight confines of the liner, then the suit itself, and then trying to zip up the front, yellow stripe.

April: "What's Megaton like?"

Brisa: "Primitive and everyone here is a fucking idiot for living around a working bomb. It's all third-world shanty town construction. The place is a literal pit 50 feet deep. I think the Chinese thought there was a bunker under here or something. I'd say a space rod hit the area and a dud bomb rolled in. That or the locals rolled it in deliberately. There's a fucking cult worshiping the damn thing. Says whenever there's a detonation it creates new universes. It's degenerate."

April slid her left sleeve both the liner and the Vaultsuit, as the two were zipped together but not the same thing, then flipped on her PipBoy onto her left wrist. She sat on the bed, one leg on the bed, cross leg style and the other on the ground.

April: "You can turn around now." Brisa did. "Thanks for taking care of me."

Brisa smiled, "Ah, no problem. Just glad you're up cause the sooner we get out of here, the sooner I can buy an antihistamine and breathe again."

After a minute April's PipBoy clicked on, an app was running and she smiled and nearly whooped. She hit a few keys on the wrist mount and she sighed contentedly.

April: "Ah, air conditioning's back on." She rolled her shoulders and flexed her arms out, and found the thick socks for her Vaultsuit. "So, um, did you guys hit the school? Did you see the Supermutant? Get good data on these ferals?"

Brisa sat down on the bed close to her, and said, "April….we gotta talk; expedition Leader to Expedition member."

April looked at her funny, "Am I in trouble?" she hurriedly put on her boots and smoothed the cuff of them over the Vaultsuit, making them look smart and to make sure the ventilation was getting to her feet.

Brisa: "Kinda, we all are," she breathed in heavily, "The Regulators won't talk to Three Dog, they talked with Dr. Li down in Rivet City, and she said Doc had come through but didn't know where he went. Only that he was looking for a GECK."

April: "What's a Geck?"

Brisa: "I was getting to that. It's some kind of terraforming module, distributed to some of the Vaults. But not 101, or at least, if Doc had found one, he'd have taken it with him."

April: "OK, so where does that leave our search?"

Brisa: "Well, you're probably getting your wish. We can't come back, because your dad could be anywhere….unless we make our way down to Rivet City and talk to Dr. Li in person and she has new information."

April: "What about the memorial? What about Three Dog?"

Brisa: "The Regulators won't talk to Three Dog and the Memorial they aren't willing to send a team in. Yet….but there is good news. Sorta. A FUSA patrol is going to clean out the Supermutants on the eastern bank of the Potomac all the way down to Rivet City.

April: "And Rivet City's in the Washington Naval Yard right?"

Brisa: "Yes."

April: "How close is that to the Memorial?"

Brisa: "Less than a mile through marshes. More distance but faster to go around. But I have it on good authority that they'll help us in exchange for working the patrol."

April: "Then why are you worried? We have an escort all the way downtown. We're not going to have to walk it alone"

Brisa: "April, I saw that supermutant in the sewer. That was just one. These things work in groups, and they all wield heavy weaponry. Weaponry they usually take off patrols like these….you have no idea how dangerous these things are, do you?"

April: "They're ten feet tall, Three Dog says they rip people in half, and they're stupid. They're also clearly bio-engineered weapons so I'd imagine some combination of super healing factor, resilient organs, enhanced senses, able to carry heavy ordinance, utter fearlessness, and ferociousness that only a stupid AI enemy could show. Charge right into a bullet storm and survive long enough to take out a machine gun nest?"

Brisa: "Worse. That throat slitting was almost entirely healed up by the time the creature died. That wasn't a minor cut; it went nearly to the spine. That means it healed up in just a few minutes."

April: [scoffing] "Really? That's all you can tell me? Come'on Brisa, I know you aren't familiar with the finer things in life, but just because most guns only cause bleedout don't mean nothing can kill something like that. A 10 foot tall, four foot wide freak of a being like that just makes a larger target for military grade flamethrowers, high explosives, plasma casters, and my personal favorite, the Ma Duce. 50 calibers of post-World War I whupass will turn those fuckers into big green smears."

Brisa: [dismissively] "You're insane."

April: [a little peeved] "No, Brisa, I'm familiar with firepower. If these things are basically wearing organic power armor in their skin, then you hunt them the same way you hunt people in power armor: light armored vehicle grade weapon systems"

Brisa: [angrily] "This isn't a game April!"

April: "Who says? And yeah. Yeah, you're right Brisa, it's not a game. Thus there are no rules. So we win; cause if it bleeds, we can kill it. We just need the right equipment. And allies. Which we're going to get in this FUSA patrol."

Brisa: "Yeah, and we had the firepower and the allies in the sewer and you get critically injured not one hour into the affair! You were really sick there for a while, you lost ten pounds in water waste at minimum. You of all people should be aware of how easy it is to critically injure a human being, one cut, one sprained ankle out there and you and all of us could be done for. You're goddamned reckless!"

April looked at her intensely "He who dares, wins. Over cautious can be as suicidal as over confidence. We're green…."

Brisa: "I don't want to hear it!" She pointed her finger into April's chest right above her heart, "And I don't want you playing goddamned hero. My job is to keep you two alive, to keep myself alive and I don't want to be drug along with all your fighting. Valhalla is not for Vaultdwellers. And this place is full of things to send you there. This isn't like fighting Butch and his loser friends, these people out here will KILL YOU."

Doc Church came in through the door with a red headed woman in blue overalls.

Doc Church: "I hate to interrupt scintillating conversation but you, the sick one, have a visitor. Brisa, you're getting paid by the stimpack, and those things aren't going to refill themselves."

Brisa got up and faced in front of Doc Church, "You know it's unsanitary to ever reuse a syringe right? They bend on the microscopic level?"

Doc Church: "That's for you to care about and me to not give a shit. Hypos are too expensive to replace willy nilly like that. Just make sure they're clean and sterilized." Brisa was not happy to hear this.

Brisa: "Yes, Doc Church," and she went out of the room, presumably to the lab station beside the chemical shower.

Doc Church: "All right Moira Brown, this is our patient April."

Moira stuck out her hand and when April tentatively embraced it with hers, she shook it way, way, too energetically,

Moira: "Hi, April, I'm Moira Brown, I run Craterside Supply. It's a pleasure to finally meet'cha! You probably don't remember me, but when the Regulators first brought you in I helped get you down here, then did a tiny, tiny experiment on you."

April: [not pleased]: Experiment?

Moria: [oblivious] Oh dear yes. You see I've been writing a field guide for how to survive in the wasteland, and I thought gee, this young Vaultdweller getting irradiated for the first time would be the perfect to conduct a study of some home remedies….

April: "BRISA!"

Brisa was back in the room far quicker than April thought would be logical and she was smiling, SMILING, sheepishly.

April: "Why is this store lady running experiments on me? Is this why I can't remember anything from the last four days?"

Moira: "Well you see….." she was cut off with a gesture from Brisa. April was becoming alarmed again.

Brisa: "You were at 650 rems, frankly, nothing could hurt you at that point."

April: "650 rems?!"

Brisa: "In ten minutes."

April: [utterly, eye popingly horrified] "I got two years of rem exposure in one fight?!"

Moria: "What does that all mean? In your words?"

April: [looking at her like she's stupid] "You experimented on me without knowing what rems are?"

Moira scratched the back of her head, sheepishly, "Well, I know they're bad, I know anything about 1,000 will make you very sick…."

April: [deeply annoyed] "A rem is a unit of radiation exposure over time. You're not supposed to get more than 1000 rems of exposure in a year, and that's working with nuclear power. The average background rem is 300 per year at sea level, 400 in Denver," Moira seemed not to comprehend, "Which is a mile up." Still bafflement was on Moira's face. "Which is why it's called the Mile High City, or at least it was."

Moira: "Oh, Denver is a city! On a mountain I presume?"

Brisa: "Anyway, April, it was just some milk and magnets."

Moira: [happily] "Don't forget the happy thoughts!"

April: [deadpanning] "Radiation doesn't work that way."

Moira looked at Brisa, who also said, "Yeah, radiation definitely doesn't work that way."

Moira was baffled at this: "So, um, why do people swear by curdled milk as something that makes them feel better after getting dosed?"

April: "Placebo effect. That or it makes them throw up whatever they ingested that they shouldn't have."

Moira: "So, it doesn't work."

Brisa: "Radiation poisoning doesn't normally kill people. It increases there long term cancer risks, particularly of the thyroid, as it tends be trap for any iodine, radioactive or not. That's what Rad-X does first and foremost, it absorbs radioactive particles before they can settle in your body. That's why you take Rad-X before getting anywhere radioactive, and then take Rad-Away once it's safe."

Moira: "So it's not just because it's intravenous?"

April: "Ms. Brown, have you ever used Rad-Away?"

Moira: "Oh me? No no no! I've gotten radiation cleansings of course, but never had need for that!"

April: "Well, count yourself lucky then because Rad-Away is emergency treatment. It's chemotherapeutic, which means it chemically causes organs to expel their radiation particles. It can cause cramps, dehydration. Nausea and diarrhea are almost guaranteed." She looked over at Doc Church, "Hey, Doc, why haven't you explained all this to her?"

Doc Church: "Because I don't have time to indulge this crazy girl's experiments." He looked over to Brisa "And neither do you." Then Brisa was gone.

April: [confused] "You've had time to listen to me explain it."

Doc Church: "Yeah, hmmph, I guess I have. But this was entertaining, and I got you know you have the faintest idea what you're talking about. It's good to know."

April was about to say something, then closed her mouth and thought better of it. Then a new thought came to her mind, "Ms. Brown?"

Moira: "Yes, and for Pete's sake, call me Moira. Everyone does."

April: "Moira, then. I can explain radiation poisoning to you. A real thorough overview of how it happens, the symptoms, even the best way to rig up an anti-radiation kit. And, I might add, any other medical questions you'd ever want to ask a professional for your field guide."

Moira: "Oh really? A real doctor, sitting down and talking with me? That would be all kinds of wonderful!"

April: [getting up] "I would expect a consultant's fee of course."

Moira: "Well of course I can pay you! Don't be silly, I wouldn't dream of asking something for nothing. Can I pay you in kind?"

April: "Medical supplies?"

Moira: "Of course! And I have all kinds of other research I need help with if you're interested. I even have a research assistant who might need your help."

April: "One thing at a time. Excuse me," she and Moira went past Doc Church who was taking out the doorway out to the front of the clinic.

April got a taste of the outside and it tasted like crap. While the outside had a clear blue sky, it was only slightly less hot than the clinic, and it smelled of garbage. Megaton was truly a pit, as Brisa said, nearly 50 feet deep, with not-so gently sloping slopes with aluminum shacks with clear airplane parts sticking out of the sides of the hill. This clinic was near the bottom of the pit, where she could see a food stand right next to a pool of water and a large, undetonated nuclear bomb. It looked primitive; in fact it was built like a Fat Man bomb, which meant it was almost certainly meant to be dropped by iron sight to evade American antiballistic countermeasures.

Moira: "So, April…."

April turned to her new patron, slightly annoyed at how cheerful and informal she was with a total stranger.

April: "Lead on. I don't know where your store is"

Moira pointed to the quarter hulk of a passenger jet, the cabin sticking over a shack with a large sign saying 'Craterside Supply'. It curved from the cabin down to an arrow pointing to the small door below. It was a level up, and April wasn't sure how they were going to get up the sides.

April looked up somehow surprised she was surprised, "It's called Craterside Supply because it's by the side of a crater. Huh. Neat."

Moira started walking around the building, and sure enough there was a really steep staircase carved into the slope, with wooden steps and no hand rails.

Moira: "Oh it's such a pain to climb these things from the bottom, but that's what you have to do when you can't skirt around the edge. You know, I was just coming back from fixing an axel outside, and then I check up on you and your finally awake. Third time's a charm. So, what's it like to by that irradiated?"

April: "Well, aside from nearly burning a hole in the floor, I think I could hear my genes crying."

Moria: "My my, radiation poisoning causes auditory hallucinations?!"

April: "No, I was being a smart ass. Radiation doesn't work that way" This was becoming a catch phrase with her and she wasn't liking it very much.