Monday October 18
"So," Ziva began once the car was moving, "you will be the new face of NCIS."
Tony claimed her hand as he always did and looked over. "Should be you. Rockin' that classy sassy look. Did I remember to tell you I love your hair like that?"
Her lips curved up. "I believe you mentioned it."
He raised her fingers to his lips. "Remind me to tell you again sometime."
"I think you are in the bad books with Gibbs."
"A fact you seemed highly amused by." Tony rolled his eyes. "Then again, when am I not? Have you seen the glares he's been shooting me ever since you 'went back to your apartment'? I don't know what's got his back up but somehow I'm in the way."
"Perhaps it is just a phase," Ziva suggested.
"I hope so," he muttered. "Because it's getting old."
At Sergeant Dempsey's house Tony took in the state of the bed and commented that she must not've been alone last night. Ziva arched an eyebrow at him. "It proves nothing. I do not make my bed every day."
Surprise coloured his expression but curiosity had to wait until McGee went downstairs. "Since when?" he inquired. "Because our bed is always neatly put back together before we leave. I kinda thought it was a requirement."
She shrugged. "Not necessarily. And I was referring to before you. When I first came to DC it was a rebellion against my military way of life, the strictness of Mossad and my father. I liked seeing it comfortably rumpled, softer, like the version of myself I was becoming."
Tony moved behind her and slid his arms around her waist. "Does that mean we can forget that part of the routine from now on?"
Ziva escaped his hold. "I would prefer not to. There is something satisfying about climbing into a made bed at the end of the day. I got tired of it looking messy."
He tossed her a half-grin. "Worth a try."
NCIS
Tony arrived at Flash following their release from work and rapped on the door only seconds after Adrian had locked it. His brow furrowed. "Is something wrong?"
Stepping past him, Tony entered the studio. "Y'know, we don't only come bearing bad news."
Adrian shrugged, securing the lock again. "Habit." He slipped his hands in his pockets. "So, what's up?"
Tony pursed his lips. "You gonna be around for awhile?"
"I've got some things to finish. Why?"
"Can you run me through your photo editing program and let me borrow the computer for an hour?"
Adrian made a 'give it here' motion. "You came to the right place. Tell me what you want and I'll have it done in a flash."
Tony winced. "That's a terrible pun Zip. And thanks, but it's a gift for Ziva so I'd rather do it myself."
Adrian nodded. "Fair enough."
He led Tony back to his office and opened the program. A short tutorial later he left and Tony fished a camera card out of his pocket. Checking for witnesses, he put it in the slot and brought up all the pictures from the photoshoot he'd done with his wife only a couple days before. Smiling at the memories they evoked, he made a mental note of which ones to print for his own collection and scrolled down, clicking on one showing Ziva's back. His eyes ran over the marred skin briefly before he got to work and for the next forty minutes Tony experimented with adding borders and words, changing the contrast and colour, making it hazy and clear, until he found just the right combination.
Feeling rather pleased with his work, Tony availed himself of Adrian's photo printer, left some money on the desk to cover paper and ink, and slid the pictures into an empty envelope he brought. Closing everything out and pocketing the card, Tony headed to the darkroom and knocked. "Hey Aid, thanks for your help. I'm gone."
"Anytime. See you later," came his friend's faint reply.
Leaving through the back door which he could lock behind him, Tony got in the car and drove to the photography shop where he'd had the plaque made for Ziva's memorial stone. He spent a long time looking at frames to find one that would compliment the picture. Finally he chose something that would do, but it wasn't quite right. Once outside Tony plopped down on a bench and pulled out his knife. Very carefully he etched a short sentence in the top border of the frame and blew away the black dust. Perfect.
He made two more quick stops on his way home and walked in the door, grinning at Ziva. "Honey, I'm home."
His wife arched an eyebrow. "I send you for take out and you disappear for two hours. Should I be concerned?"
Tony crossed the room to kiss her. "You don't have competition, but I did get a little distracted." He revealed the flowers held behind his back with a flourish. "For you, amore mio."
Ziva's lips curved into a smile as she cradled the mixture of roses and daffodils. "Thank you ahava, they are beautiful." He held up the bag of food next and she read the name. "From 1789? You are forgiven."
He claimed her mouth again. "Good. I'm going to change." Tony swung the door to their room shut, thinking a moment later that he should've left it open because Ziva might get suspicious if she noticed, and carefully removed the frame from the small of his back of his jacket where he'd stuffed it for quick concealment.
Looking at the hinged double frame once more, Tony set it on his wife's nightstand and threw on track pants and an NCIS sweatshirt that used to be part of his attire from when they spent time in the training gym. He thought back to a case he only vaguely remembered from their first year as partners. The details were hazy except for one captured scene in his mind where he and Ziva were wearing workout clothes and looking sweaty and disheveled, towels over their shoulders as they made their way from the gym to shower.
And though it didn't show in his attitude or confidence, he'd been soundly trounced by Ziva's ninja skills on full display while they sparred. He couldn't count the number of times he'd ended up on his back groaning at the ceiling. But the one time he'd caught her off guard and taken her to the mats had been a victory worth boasting about. Never mind that seconds later she'd regained the upper hand, he still counted his win.
The image of Ziva like that - skin glistening, breathing hard, wearing a smug triumphant grin as she straddled him on the ground - propelled him back out to the kitchen where he spun her around and pressed an ardent kiss to her lips. Caught unaware though she was, Ziva followed her husband's lead and indulged in the passion he poured out. Her hands found the hem of his shirt and snuck underneath, sliding up his warm skin and caressing the fire between them into a flame.
Dinner was forgotten on the counter when he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to bed. For a brief but blissful time the couple got lost in each other, filling a need and temporarily sating desire, despite the fact that they never really got enough, and afterwards Tony kissed the damp skin of her throat. "I like those kinds of surprises."
She chuckled. "You were just as surprised as me? Did you not start this?"
He dug his fingers into her hair. "Actually, thinking about you kicking my butt in the training gym started it, but I have no complaints."
Ziva's eyebrows drew together. "When? We have not fought each other that I recall."
Tony pecked the tip of her nose. "I'm going way back Zi, before we were anything but partners."
Four and a half years later some details were a bit blurry. She stretched and glanced to the side, frowning at the new decoration in front of her alarm clock. Reaching for it, she saw the altered photo of her back and the scars, recognizing it immediately. "Tony, what is this?"
He heard her anger and shifted a bit nearer. "Look closer babe."
Reluctantly she did and began to see the elegant cursive words that bordered all four sides. You are strong. You are beautiful. You are amazing. And along the bottom, My Angel... Her lips parted. "Ohh."
"They say a picture speaks a thousand words, but I had to add a few extra." Tony nudged her arm. "There's more."
In the second half of the frame were four sentences. Your strength and will to not just survive but live astound me. Your beauty leaves me speechless. I am constantly amazed by the depth of your love for me. Ziva, you are everything that is good in my life. Thank you. I love you. Yours forever, Tony.
Ziva had to blink away the moisture before she could study his gift further, then saw the uneven letters carved across the top - This is what I see. Her fingers gently traced them and Tony pressed his lips to her bare shoulder. "I want you to look through my eyes honey, please. Everything in your head is a lie, let me teach you the truth."
Overwhelmed, Ziva set the picture aside and cradled his face in her hands, drawing him down for a kiss as she breathed thank you and I love you onto his lips. This one was different, not for renewing their previous activities but to speak from a heart too full for words that might just get in the way. He responded with an outflow of thankfulness for having her here, living and thriving and part of his life.
They didn't even think about moving until Ziva's stomach growled and Tony grinned, carefully untangling them. "Time to get some food into you." He helped her up. "I made you miss dinner."
She touched his cheek. "This was more important."
And wasn't that just the best way to end a day? Tony loved how Ziva made him feel so incredibly valued. She was the only one, besides his mom, who'd ever taken the time to know his heart and that was worth every darkness they had to face.
NCIS
Tuesday October 19
The following afternoon they stood in Observation together, watching Sergeant Dempsey, and the reveal of her affair with the FBI dude nagged at him. He propped his hand on the window frame, stretching his arm out behind Ziva's head. "I don't buy it."
"What?"
"Them," he snorted. "Her, with him? I mean, she's a young, good looking Marine bomb tech and he's...an old suit."
Ziva fiddled with her earring. "I believe I understand the appeal." For that Tony tickled her and she squirmed away from his fingers, laughing, which brought her even closer to his broad chest. "Not to him. But I find certain older men...attractive."
Tony sighed. "Yeah. Sean Connery, Harrison Ford, Richard Gere."
"I was thinking of men a little less famous."
"Anyone in particular?"
She turned and put her hand over his heart. "If you do not know by now..."
He covered her hand with his and stared seriously into his wife's eyes. "Is this the part where we finally have the conversation about ages, four years in when it's too late to back out?" I hope.
Ziva searched his face. "The only reason we have never talked about it is because you have gone out of your way to avoid the subject at every opportunity. What is the big deal?"
Tony twirled a curl with his finger. "It sounds like such a long time when you say it out loud. Do you even know the answer?" He remembered Ari and her recitation of his life facts. "Of course you do."
"Nine years," she answered softly.
"Doesn't that bother you?" he demanded. "You're not even thirty yet and I'm on my way to being an old man."
Ziva shook her head. "You are not ancient Tony. You are a handsome man who keeps himself in shape, works hard, and loves deeply. Am I missing some huge character flaw that would cause this irrational concern?"
"Irrational?" Tony spouted.
She leaned up to kiss him. "Yes, irrational. Because I love you and I am spending the rest of my life with you, so my opinion should be the only one that matters."
He gaped at her for several seconds, then finally let the truth sink in. "Well, when you put it that way..."
Ziva smiled and turned back to face the window. "Good." And until they were needed, Tony held her with no witnesses and Ziva rested securely in the warmth of her husband's embrace.
NCIS
Wednesday October 20
Two minutes after their last charge was picked up Emma checked her watch and glanced at the other adults straightening the room. "You guys got this?"
Her manager, Amy, looked over with a smirk. "Why? Got a hot date there Boss?"
Emma rolled her eyes. "Like I'd give you any details."
"Don't have to," Corinne commented. "It's written all over that lovesick expression you wear 24/7."
"Thanks for the support," Emma replied dryly.
Amy bumped her shoulder as she walked by to recycle someone's experiment with safety scissors and purple construction paper. "We tease you with love. And trust us, love is a good look for you."
She smiled. "Thanks. See you tomorrow."
"Mmhmm." Corinne stood with her hands on her hips and surveyed the trail of chaos fifteen little kids under five could leave in their wake. "You and those hooligans masquerading as children."
"Can't you tell how much she loves her job?" Amy rolled her eyes. "Relax Corinne, this is what day care is supposed to look like. At least they had fun."
Corinne went back to muttering under her breath as she gathered pictures books from the floor. Though the older woman came across as gruff, she melted when begged by a group of little girls to play tea party and showed her soft side when their little special needs boy wanted to sit on her lap during circle time and run his fingers over her dark skin. The kids adored her and she them, but let her catch anyone suggesting she had soft spot for the little monsters and they suffered the full wrath of Corinne Althea Jackson.
Smiling at the familiar interplay, Emma grabbed her coat and purse and headed out. Fifteen minutes later she snuck into Flash and leaned against the wall, watching her husband tidy his child portrait area. Small toys littered the white sheet draped in ripples around an oval platform. He must've had a difficult customer today, usually Adrian's own childlike personality got him smiles without the use of props. "Well hello there," she said smoothly, her eyes wandering over his familiar features. "And where have you been all my life?"
She'd appeared out of nowhere too many times for him to still jump at the unexpected sound of her voice and Adrian immediately dropped what he was doing, walking over to slide his arms around her waist. "Down the street and around the corner. I might've passed you on the street a hundred times before our worlds collided." He captured her lips for a long welcome home kiss. "I only wish it could've happened sooner."
Emma touched his cheek. "The timing was perfect and you know it." She pressed her mouth to his briefly. "I love you. Ready to head out?"
Adrian smiled a bit apologetically. "Ten minutes?"
Her eyebrows arched. "Now where have I heard that before?"
He lifted her hand and kissed the back. "I promise. Just need to check the focus on my camera and then we can go."
She shook her head and patted his chest. "I brought a book."
"It won't be like the last time Em, really." As much as he adored his wife, sometimes Adrian got so distracted by what he could capture with his camera that he lost all track of time. On the most recent occasion Emma had been a third of the way through the new book she started when he finally came back to reality. Suddenly inspiration hit. "Hey, want to be my model?"
Disbelief coloured her expression. "You clearly mistake me for someone else." Model never had a chance of showing up on her resume, of that she was quite sure.
Adrian rolled his eyes and led her by the hands over to the low bench set up in a different corner of the room. "Just sit, okay?" She did, seeming uneasy, and he grabbed his camera. "Pretend I'm not here."
"Impossible," she shot back, eyes darting his direction.
"Don't look at me," he coached. "Try...over there, the dove on the wall." Reluctantly she shifted her gaze to the carved wooden bird and heard the tell-tale clicking of his camera lense. "Nice Em. Now this time act like you're reading your book. That's great."
"I think your focus has been tested," Emma pointed out when he instructed her to smile kind of wistfully.
"Only a few more."
A few more turned out to be almost twenty minutes and at that point she was done being posed. "Okay, time to leave."
Adrian sighed disappointedly and stood back. "Yeah, I guess you're right." Flipping back through the photos, he beckoned her closer. "Take a look at some of these honey. They turned out really well."
He'd chosen to do them in black and white instead of colour and Emma was surprised by the result. "You make me look so elegant."
Studying his wife, his eyebrows drew together. "Do you really have no idea how beautiful you are?"
She tugged on her shirt. "You know, I always wanted someone to call me that and really mean it."
"I do," Adrian insisted, punctuating his declaration with a kiss.
"I know." Emma slid her arm through his. "Thank you."
He stowed his equipment and turned off the lights. Emma didn't love having her picture taken, so he'd been forced to sneak in the professional shot he wanted for his desk. Whenever anyone came into the office, he wanted the photo of his wife to be the first thing they saw. And she would always remind him that though his talent lay in capturing and immortalizing scenes and people, his heart would forever be in her hands. It had never had a better home.
NCIS
Thursday October 21
"It's just as well Gibbs ended up on the brochure," Tony commented as they walked hand in hand to the diner for ice cream and a couple of dances that night.
She glanced over. "Why?"
He shrugged. "Takes me down a peg. I was really excited for awhile about being chosen. I put too much stock in the limelight." His chuckle lacked mirth. "Maybe in some twisted way I thought it would make the others respect me. But I don't think that's ever going to happen."
"When they can see the man I do every day respect will come. If they only knew how much you have done for me, what you have given and sacrificed to keep this marriage together, the darkness we have walked through..." Ziva fingered his wedding band. "They underestimate you. They misjudge you. Nearly a decade you have been on this team and for half that time we have been creating a life of our own and yet none of them know you well enough to see through the act." She sighed. "It makes me sad. And I wonder if I have kept you from really developing relationships with these people. For that I'm sorry."
Tony shook his head. "Nope. Not gonna let you apologize for that Zi. Yeah, sometimes it'd be nice to be real. But I'll take you and the gang over blurting out a secret that could tear us apart. We'll get the chance with the team, someday. I'm not the only one holding off getting closer to them."
Ziva stopped and rested her hands on his chest. "You have my utmost respect Tony. And you are such a good man. Please do not ever forget that."
He grinned and slid his fingers into her hair, claiming her mouth for only one of several caresses they shared in the middle of the sidewalk in their own neighbourhood where they felt safe and at home. "That means the most," he whispered, tucking her hair back. "So, hot fudge or strawberry tonight?"
She let him change the subject, some things didn't need to be dwelt upon. "Actually, I was thinking we could share a banana split. I have not tested Travis's skills on that yet."
"Done," Tony agreed instantly. "Then you and I are going to take good old Millie for a spin with Nat King Cole's L-O-V-E and a couple other hits I can swing you around the room for. What do you say?"
Ziva danced ahead of him, her face lighting with the joy he'd brought to her life. "Yes. And I will race you. Ready, set-"
But by 'go' she'd already taken off and Tony yelled after her about cheating while he worked hard to catch up. They fell inside the diner doors, tangled up and laughing. It was one of those moments Ziva wanted to hold in her heart forever. She'd never been so thankful for anyone as for this wonderful man whom she was lucky enough to call her husband. And she would tell him tonight, putting her heart on mint green sheets of paper tucked somewhere for him to find when he needed a reason to smile.
NCIS
Friday October 22
Tony caught Ziva standing in front of the window shortly after Gibbs released them at a remarkably normal time for once. "Hey," he spoke the word quietly into her hair. She didn't move but her lips curved slightly as she waited. "Can I interest you in a sunset ride tonight?"
Her brilliant smile reflected in the glass was all he needed for an answer and shortly thereafter he bid the bullpen a goodnight and sauntered out to his car, looking very much like a man who had life going his way. As time was a bit short, they elected to park Ziva's car in a nearby lot instead of taking it all the way home and then the couple cruised through an hour of traffic before pulling into the familiar driveway of their stables.
Since Ziva was faster at tacking up her mount, she flew into the office to sign them in while Tony made his way to the barn and greeted both horses. Jules, upon seeing that he was alone, wanted little to do with him, but Jax immediately sniffed out the treat he'd hidden in his shirt pocket and demanded it right away with a headbutt that knocked Tony back a step. He chuckled. "Hold on a second greedy and let me get it out." Jax impatiently crunched the cookie almost before Tony got his fingers out of the way and he raised an eyebrow. "Easy. I need those later you know."
He let himself into the stall and walked Jax out, clipping him into crossties before retrieving his tack from the back room. Ziva passed him in the hall and a saddling contest ensued, with muffled grunts and laughter as they tried to outdo each other. Being Ziva, she won and shot him a triumphant smile as she led Jules into the cool night air. Tony followed a minute later and found her already mounted. She waited until he was astride Jax and leaned over to caress his lips with hers. "Thank you. This was a fabulous idea."
Tony grinned. "Darlin', you haven't even seen the best part." He went first, leading her up to an open bluff that faced west. The sun, in all its golden glory, slipped behind a line of trees, streaking the sky with ribbons of soft purple and pink while fading rays gilded a passing cloud. His hand sought hers and Ziva clucked her tongue, urging Jules slowly forward. Their meandering pace took full advantage of both the scenery and gradually disappearing light. She was only a shadow beside him when they returned to the barn, where bright bulbs mounted on corners of every building lit up the area halfway to the trees.
They curried and brushed the horses in an unhurried manner, walking back to the car with arms around each other's waists. Back home Ziva went to the kitchen to heat up leftovers and Tony came out of their room with his fist closed around two very important items. He snagged Ziva's left hand as she got out plates and slid the gold circles into place, kissing them for good measure. "Should've done that last night."
His wife smirked. "We were a little busy."
Tony's hands framed her face, bringing their mouths together. "That's no excuse." He'd been serious when she got back, about wearing their rings every night, but the weekend only habit of the past four years was proving hard to break.
Ziva paused before responding to the beep of the microwave. "Tony, I love wearing your rings and I treasure the gift they represent, of our lives joined as one, but not having then on doesn't mean I am any less committed to the vows we made." She was concerned that his recent obsession was more motivated by fear than actual desire to wear his wedding band. "I am not going anywhere."
Tony stifled the 'you might' that leapt to the tip of his tongue, still bitter about their Miami separation. Instead he heaved a sigh and spun his ring. "Do you have any idea how much I treasure this symbol because of keeping the secret? Zi, this ring says I belong to you, that I'm yours until forever. I haven't belonged to anyone since I was a little kid and this is so much deeper and richer for the relationship we share. Can you just...humour me for awhile?" There were no words for him to explain the possessiveness that rose up inside him when her engagement and wedding rings were on her finger where they belonged. He wasn't ready to give that up just because it was a school night.
She smiled slightly and patted his chest as she walked by, watching the diamond glint in the light. "For as long as you want."
Later, after she was in bed wearing a purple negligee Tony always said complimented her skin tone, he came in holding the camera while she was rubbing lotion onto her hands and shifted into place beside her. "I never did show you how our photoshoot came out."
Feeling a slight hesitation from the initial focus of the picture session, Ziva nonetheless looked at each frame and gradually began to see them through her husband's eyes. She pressed her lips to his neck when he finished and lay her head on his shoulder. "They really are quite beautiful. You've obviously picked up some tips from Adrian."
"Tricks," he corrected automatically, then frowned. "Well, it's tips and tricks, so we're both right."
She scrolled back a few pictures and studied one of them kissing. "You know, if we got a close up of this you would not know we are naked."
Tony slid his hand over her thigh, grazing fingers across bare skin where the satin of her nightwear ended. "As much as I love being naked with you, it does make things like these harder to display." He played with the zoom a little. "What do you think? Safe enough to go in our Year Four scrapbook?"
"We did need at least one more for October." Even though they were no longer newlyweds, Ziva still wanted to capture them in every month of marriage. The conspicuous gaps related to his time as Agent Afloat and her return to Mossad, along with Somalia and most recently Miami, were spaces they tried very hard not to notice.
He angled his head to catch her lips, then left to put the camera back. "I think we need to invest in a photo printer." Maybe not one quite as high caliber as the professional one Adrian owned, but something that would at least let them print reasonable quality photos right from home.
Ziva was already laying down. "We can add that to the list." With IVF savings payments taking up several hundred dollars per month, their disposable income wasn't as disposable as it used to be.
Tony collapsed into bed with a sigh. "Sometimes this being a responsible adult stuff is no fun at all."
She rolled over to face him. "But it is worth the sacrifice." Not that she remembered a time in her life when she wasn't required to be responsible and shoulder burdens too heavy for her age. But her husband could regret freedoms he no longer had.
His knuckles brushed over her cheek. "Yeah." The thought of their child was enough to make him willing to give up every indulgence he'd ever allowed himself. "I love you."
A whisper repeated the words back to him as Ziva's heavy eyes finally closed and sleep claimed her body. Tony watched for a minute, enjoying the peaceful expression she wore, thankful the fear of nightmares had all but vanished over the past couple weeks. It was high time life gave them a break.
Replies:
Guest - thank you :) That was my favourite part when I started this series, finding the missing moments that we all would've loved to see between T&Z, glad you enjoy it too. They've definitely worked their way into a deeper relationship than they knew was possible in the beginning, I think it's worth the work. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah
Guest #2 - hi :) Wow, you re-read the whole thing? Thanks, I'm glad you like it that much. Oh, sorry to disappoint, but by positive changes I mean the focus no longer being on Ziva's healing and things being more simple in their relationship for awhile. Unfortunately, no baby. But that's a good guess :) Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah
