Chapter 7: To Be Human
Tetsuya woke to a feeling of deep warmth and comfort that he was sure he had never before experienced. Not only was he snuggled down in good, thick, Ichigo-scented bedding, the shinigami substitute, himself, was wrapped snugly around Tetsuya's back and Ichigo's chin rested on his shoulder so that Tetsuya could hear and feel the tickle of his long, soft breaths.
Naoki and I did our best to keep each other warm, but we had only ragged clothing, some dirty straw and our thin bodies. It was always cold and it smelled bad, except once a week when the guards allowed us to clean out the corners of our cells. I never knew exactly what it was we were missing. I never imagined that freedom, warmth, feeling full and being cared for could be so wonderful. I desired these things blindly because I didn't really understand them. Now that I do, I know I couldn't survive going back. I must never allow myself to be imprisoned again.
Never.
Tetsuya felt tears on his face again and wiped them away. He felt a powerful rumble in his belly and glanced at the sleeping shinigami substitute.
I don't want to wake him. He was up a lot last night, comforting me through my nightmares. I wonder that either of us slept at all. But even though my fears were powerful, as he spoke into my ear, his voice began to get inside me. And slowly, as the night went on, that voice protected me so that I could sleep. Yes, when the nightmares came, he was there, and his voice calmed me.
Thank you, Ichigo.
Tetsuya very carefully extracted himself from Ichigo's embrace and climbed out of bed. He swayed dizzily for a moment and laid a hand on the wooden desk next to the bed to steady himself. He smiled and rubbed the bump on his belly affectionately, waiting for the dizziness to pass. As soon as it had, he gave in to the impatient call of his appetite and crept out of the bedroom and silently down the stairs. He reached the bottom and heard two girl's voices, then peeked around the corner and spotted Karin and Yuzu sitting on the couch, watching what Ichigo had told him was TV. Curious, he focused on the images on the screen and watched as Karin and Yuzu smiled and laughed at what they saw. Seeing girls, not cringing and fearful, but happy and relaxed, chatting and bantering playfully was so wholly different, he felt tears in his eyes again.
I cry too easily. I see it when I'm with Ichigo. He doesn't seem to cry. I heard Yuzu crying once when she got hurt a little, but even they don't cry like I do. Naoki said that the pregnancy was the reason, but right now, I feel so happy and sad, watching two normal girls.
Yes, this is what girls are like normally, when they are not imprisoned and facing such pain of brutal beatings and rape as they did in the prison. I never knew girls could be so very pretty and happy. I wish they would always be like this.
A small sniff escaped him and he shrank back as the girls turned their heads in his direction. They went quiet for a moment as Tetsuya wondered if he should try to flee up the stairs.
"Tetsuya-chan?" Yuzu called softly.
She smiled at him as he peeked cautiously around the corner.
"Why are you sneaking around?" Karin asked, her tone reminding Tetsuya instantly of his mother, "If you want to come in with us, it's fine."
Yuzu giggled as Tetsuya's stomach rumbled hungrily.
"I think Tetsuya-chan wants breakfast," she said merrily, jumping up and skipping across the room.
"Good, I'm hungry too," Karin said, following as Yuzu grabbed Tetsuya's hand and dragged him along into the kitchen.
"What do you like for breakfast?" Yuzu asked.
"W-well, I don't really know," Tetsuya confessed, "All we were given to eat where I came from was horrible tasting porridge and weak tea."
"Well, we can do better than that here," said Karin, "Just tell me if you want something cold like cereal or yogurt or something hot like pancakes or fish with rice."
"Hmmm," Tetsuya said, considering, "I seem to be craving something very cold."
"Well, like I said, we have cereal, yogurt or some fresh fruit that's cold."
"We should have a smoothie!" shouted Yuzu.
"A...smoothie?" Tetsuya queried, blinking.
"It's frozen fruit and yogurt that is blended up together with ice to make a fruity, frozen drink."
"I've never had anything like that, but it sounds wonderful," Tetsuya decided, "A smoothie then."
"All right," Karin said, pulling the ingredients out and handing them to Yuzu.
Tetsuya watched raptly as the girls loaded the blender with fruit, yogurt, vanilla and ice, then Karin touched a button and the blender roared noisily, sending Tetsuya back a step, shivering, until he realized that the girls didn't seem intimidated by the noise at all. He relaxed then, observing as the ingredients spun around and mushed together into a thick sludge. Tetsuya wasn't sure at first that he really wanted to try the colorful mixture, but as soon as his lips touched the frothy surface and the icy, sweetness flooded his mouth, he made a sound of contentment and drank deeply.
"Oh no, Tetsuya-chan!" Yuzu exclaimed, taking hold of his hand gently and stopping him, "You'll give yourself brain-freeze!"
Tetsuya reeled as a sharp pain roared through his head and a shudder went through him. Karin stifled a snicker and patted his back sympathetically, while Yuzu rubbed his aching face lightly and smiled apologetically.
"I should have warned you," she chided herself, "It hurts if you drink it too fast, but you will feel better in a minute. It's all right."
"Ah, sorry," Tetsuya panted softly, "There are so many things I don't know about."
"It's okay," Karin said encouragingly, "We're here to help...although we have to go to school soon. Before we go, do you need anything else?"
"Oh, this is fine for now, thank you," Tetsuya said, taking another, more cautious sip of his smoothie."
He sat down at the table and worked slowly at his drink, smiling as the girls chatted and ate their breakfast.
This is what I imagined a family would be like. They do things together, talk and smile and laugh. They fight sometimes, but even when they fight, it isn't dangerous. They raise their voices as Ichigo did when he yelled at Yuzu-chan for entering his room without knocking. But even though he yelled at her, he would clearly never hurt her. It's a different kind of argument that is noisy, but aimed at solving a dispute, not hurting each other.
I am glad.
Yuzu-chan and Karin-chan are so beautiful. If I lived with them, I would always be gentle with them because girls seem to have so much heart and intelligence. They are different from males in how they interact with their world. They seem not to be out to conquer and control, so much as to care for the people and things around them. They are able to protect themselves, but the way they are makes me want to protect them also.
"You look like you're pretty deep in thought," Ichigo's voice said from somewhere behind him, "You all right, Tetsuya?"
"Good morning, Nii-san!" Yuzu exclaimed, "would you like some breakfast too?"
"There's some extra smoothie in the blender," Karin said through a mouthful of toast.
"Thanks," Ichigo said, smiling and sitting down beside Tetsuya as Yuzu poured his drink and set it in front of him, "This is good."
"I think it's wonderful," Tetsuya sighed, "I just have to remember not to drink it too fast."
"Yeah, I've done that. It hurts."
"I've never had frozen things, but I can't seem to get enough of them."
"Well, there's a lot in there. You can have all you want. Kisuke said that you should make sure you're eating enough for both you and the kid."
"It's so cute that you're able to have a baby!" Yuzu giggled, "Shinigamis really are very different from humans."
"Yeah, in some ways," Ichigo agreed, "and that's why you have to make sure you don't tell anyone about Tetsuya. If anyone asks, he's a cousin who's staying with us for a while."
"Okay, Nii-san," Yuzu said, nodding.
"Come on, we've got to go," Karin said, getting up from the table.
She looked back at Tetsuya curiously.
"Will Tetsuya-chan be going to school too?" she asked.
"W-well," Ichigo said uncertainly, "I don't know. We have to be sure the wrong people don't see him, so..."
Tetsuya sighed softly as Karin and Ichigo continued their exchange, then the girls ran out the door, slamming it behind them. He felt Ichigo's friendly eyes watching him and looked back at the shinigami substitute with a somber expression.
"What is it?" Ichigo asked, "You've been kinda quiet since Karin asked if you'd be going to school. Do you think you'd like to go?"
"I...I think I want to," Tetsuya said softly, "but...Ichigo, I have no formal education. I can write my name and I can read a little, because there was a man at the prison who agreed to teach me and Naoki in exchange for...w-well, he taught us for a while. Still, I am sure that I wouldn't be knowledgeable enough to go to school at your level. I would only look stupid."
"Hey," Ichigo said warmly, "You're not stupid, Tetsuya. I've been watching you, and you learn things really quickly. And if you want to go to school, there might be something I can do to help."
"Oh?" Tetsuya said, brightening, "What's that?"
"A while back, there was a shinigami who was stationed here who also hadn't gone to a school before. He was from the lower Rukongai, so even though he had some useful powers, he wasn't educated. Kisuke gave him a device that caught him up to the high school level while he was sleeping. He left the thing here when he returned to Soul Society. I could find it and you could use it. You want to?"
"Yes!" Tetsuya answered, smiling widely, "Thank you, Ichigo!"
"Okay, okay, it's no problem. But before you can go to school with me, we'll have to have Kisuke get you a gigai that doesn't show that baby bump."
"Oh," Tetsuya said, looking down at his belly and frowning, "They probably wouldn't understand that at all, would they?"
"Right, but it's okay. I'll get the gigai today and you can listen to the educational device tonight. You can go to school with me tomorrow. I've been slacking off too much lately."
"You have been taking care of me, you mean," Tetsuya said solemnly, "And I am very grateful. But it's time for me to begin getting stronger. I need to be very strong before I can go back to Soul Society."
He caught his breath softly at the hint of sadness in Ichigo's eyes at the words and he leaned closer to the other youth, resting his head on Ichigo's shoulder and earning a happier smile in return.
"But I hope you know, wherever I go from now on, I will never be far from you, Ichigo."
Ichigo's head turned and their lips met for a sweet, lingering kiss.
"Good," Ichigo sighed, "because I've never met anyone like you...and I don't really think I'm going to again...Tetsuya."
XXXXXXXXXX
"Are you done with that or would you like some more?" Renji asked, peeking over Byakuya's shoulder at the records he was reading.
"Hmmm, more if there is some left," Byakuya answered, tilting his head slightly as he continued to read, "Did you have some? It was wonderful. you are a very good cook, Abarai. Would you like to join my cooking staff?"
"Naw, not much use for Zabimaru in the kitchen. He's good for slicing and dicing, but on a much larger scale, ne?"
"Ah," Byakuya mused, smirking, "That is unfortunate, but you will cook for me on occasion, I hope...especially once we are wed."
Renji grinned and reached around him to rub the barely visible bump on his belly.
"Whatever you want, beautiful!" he sighed, "I just wish we didn't have to keep everything a secret."
"I am working with Head Elder Nori to gain the support I need to win over the Kuchiki council," Byakuya assured him, "It shouldn't be much longer."
"Good, because you won't be able to keep that cute little baby bump hidden for much longer."
He sighed and nipped playfully at the noble's blushing earlobe.
"Are you going to be busy for much longer?" the redhead asked, "All this cooking, watching you eat and read and the belly rub are making me kinda horny."
Byakuya let out a dismissive breath and his lips quirked slightly.
"I suppose I do need a break," he said, starting to set his papers aside.
The papers went flying and Byakuya made a sound of surprise as he was swept off his feet and carried back into the recess in the archive, where the two had spent the night. Renji laid the noble down on his back and fell down on top of him, plunging into Byakuya's equally hungry mouth and plundering it voraciously.
"R-renji, I do need to research more about the Breeders," the noble complained, "Not just for me, but for Tetsuya's sake."
"Okay, okay," Renji chuckled, "Sorry, you're just really turning me on, Taicho!"
"Don't be ridiculous. I was just eating and reading..."
"Mmmmmmm," Renji moaned, "You eat and read prettier than anyone I know!"
"Baka!" Byakuya exclaimed, arching his back as Renji attacked his face and throat with hard, passionate kisses and ran his tanned hands roughly down the noble's writhing torso.
Byakuya groaned heatedly as Renji's insistent fingers hastily prepared him, and he lifted his hips scandalously, eagerly greeting the redhead's body as Renji moved to enter him.
He gazed up through hazy grey eyes, admiring the redhead's powerful, muscular body, and his graceful hands reached upward, his fingers tracing the bold black lines on Renji's golden skin as they kissed and ground hard against each other. Byakuya turned and gained the upper position, clenching at the riled bedding and rocking his slender hips as Renji's bucked forcefully upward, exciting harsh gasps and scintillating hisses of pleasure from between the noble's parted lips. Renji's hands grasped Byakuya's sweaty, grinding hips, holding on tightly as he thrust upward. He loosed an erotic snarl as his loins throbbed wantonly and their heavy movements dragged the two over the edges of pleasure and into a blinding release.
Renji howled loudly as he climaxed and the sound seemed to travel straight down Byakuya's undulating body, making him stiffen and loose his own beautiful finishing cry of surrender. He collapsed onto Renji's damp chest, the two exchanging feisty, biting kisses as the last throbs of pleasure gripped them. Then, they fell into a comfortable stupor, breathing more slowly and sucking indulgently on each other's lips and tongues, enjoying the gentle hum of satedness.
"Sorry I stole you away from your work, Taicho," Renji sighed, "I know it's important to find out all you can about the Breeders and about the old prison they kept your cousin in. Maybe I can help you in a little while, when I can move again."
"You can help by making me something more to eat," Byakuya answered, observing him out of one grey eye, "The seconds you were supposed to bring me have surely gotten cold by now."
Renji grinned and nipped at his lips playfully.
"You've got it, gorgeous. More food for you and the little one, coming right up!"
Byakuya watched as he left, then adjourned to the bathroom, where he cleaned up and washed his face. He left the recess and returned to where his papers had fallen when Renji had stolen him away. Smiling at the memory, he bent and retrieved the papers, shifting them and putting them back into order. One started to slip out and he captured it and looked more closely.
It is not clear how the fire began before raging through the prison and destroying it almost completely. It did not seem to have been a result of the explosions in the forest that preceded the massacre of the inmates. A council committee ordered into the area concluded that it was likely initiated by a series of concentrated kido strikes.
He shifted the papers in his hands and returned to one he had been reading before.
A dying prisoner reported that among the punishments they faced was being placed in 'the coffin,' one of several coffin sized holes dug in the floor of the chamber beneath the cells, where offending prisoners were placed and a wooden door shut over them, closing out the light.
"There was a chamber beneath the cells..." Byakuya mused.
He looked at the pictures of the aftermath of the fire and executions, sighing sadly as he remembered the dark futility of that night and the council berating he had endured after.
"You were reckless!" Councilor Isas accused him, "Not only did you fail to save even one of these purported 'inmates' for us to question, you allowed the grounds and all information regarding that facility to be destroyed. You took no one into custody alive, so we have nothing to say why so many people died. I hope you realize the seriousness of what you have done!"
"Oh, that's not a good look," Renji said, setting the noble's food down and looking over Byakuya's shoulder at the picture of the prison's ruins, "Is that Itamigiri?"
"Yes," Byakuya answered, frowning, "This...represents the greatest of my failures, Renji, and it is the one thing I would most like to have done differently. The only problem is...I don't know even now what I could have done. The odds were always stacked against us."
He thought back to his meeting with his cousin, holding Tetsuya in his arms and looking into his long-lost cousin's face, feeling the full weight of guilt over his failure.
"It sucks what they did to the mixed bloods," Renji agreed, "but you shouldn't blame yourself. You were a kid then."
"I was an heir," Byakuya corrected him, "And those I went to save were, some of them, family. I had an obligation to them. I failed to fulfill it."
"It wasn't your fault. I've heard some of the elders talk about it and they agreed that someone set you up good that night. Remember, they tried to kill you too that night."
"Yes," Byakuya sighed, "but I had protectors. Tetsuya and the ones in the prison had no one. They cried out in desperation and no one came. If I had one chance to do this over, I would give them an answer...and even if they still died, I would let them know that their cries for justice were not in vain."
"Well, you've got Tetsuya-kun back," Renji reminded him, "You may not be able to help the ones that were lost, but you can help him."
"Yes, I can," Byakuya said, brightening slightly, "And I think I will help him better by going there, to Karakura Town, than staying here."
"You want to go to Karakura Town?" Renji asked, "Can I go too?"
"Of course," Byakuya said, frowning as he picked up a photograph of Orochi standing near the ruins of the destroyed prison, "If Tetsuya is going to come home, you and I will stop at nothing to make sure that he is strong enough so that when they come after him, he will repel them."
"You're going to take a teenager who's spent most of his life in a prison and turn him into a fighter?"
"No," Byakuya said firmly, "I am going to take Itamigiri's only survivor and turn him into a warrior!"
