A/N Hello Lovlies! Another week and another installment:)
Thank you for Mike for editing! Alex and Mike celebrated their one year this past weekend. Congrats bb's!
I copied this from Alex:
"Normally, we will not be overlapping point of views in this story. However, considering that the last chapter was their first 'official' meeting, we found it imperative to write the encounter from Edward's perspective. I can assure you that you will not find this chapter repetitive or boring for it offers quite an interesting look into Edward's thoughts, which are quite different from Bella's. I am sure you will all enjoy it very much. At least, I hope so :) "
Ya, what she said!
MissAlex owns all of Edward and his swooniness and Larin20 still owns Bella's blush.
Twilight isn't ours.
Chapter Six: Complications
Edward
My plan to act completely nonchalant in Isabella's presence shattered the moment I stepped into Biology and saw her sitting by herself at a lab bench. I could not help it. Years of patience and self-control caught up with me, and I rebelled by refusing to tear my gaze from hers. During my visit to the main office to retrieve my schedule, I could not help but hope Isabella would be in at least one of my classes. Now, not five minutes later, I stood before her.
It felt absolutely wonderful to look into her eyes and for the first time in years, see her staring back at me. For so long I remained in the shadows, a silent observer admiring her from afar, hoping for just one glance, and now, she finally knew who I was and I was awarded with much more than just a fleeting look. I did not care what the others thought. This was our moment.
The externalized thoughts in the room immediately ceased upon my entry, while their internal ones ran rampant, and I forced my mind to shut down so I could concentrate on the only human that mattered to me in the entire world.
The blood rushed to her face, giving her complexion an adorable blush, and out of the thirty-five students in the classroom, I focused on her heart beat alone. It was a strong, vibrant, and healthy tempo – the steady rhythm by which my entire existence was now based. She was so stunning that I had to remember to pretend to breathe. All eyes were on me, not just hers and I did not want to draw suspicion.
Lust rolled off of the rest of the females in waves so it was challenging for me to single out Isabella's reaction to me, but I would not be deterred, and I continued my silent exploration. Testosterone radiated from the males as they tried to assert their masculinity, but their thoughts confirmed what was already obvious given the stench of envy racing through their veins.
I consciously shifted on my feet and ran my hand through my hair so I would not look too still and I sensed Isabella's change in pulse with every moment I made, indicating that she, too, felt intrigued. But in what way? Was it simply because I was newly enrolled here at Forks High or because she was attracted to what she saw? Or was it more? I did not want her to be fascinated with me solely for superficial reasons. Extreme beauty was a standard vampire characteristic because of our species' origins which relied on covetousness and charm to lure unsuspecting victims. But I never believed that my physical appearance defined who I was.
Vampire appearance was purposely deceiving. We looked inviting and harmless, traits that vampires naturally did not possess. Regardless of how much our breed had evolved over the centuries, each one of us still harbored deadly instincts. In recent decades, we existed harmoniously with humans but it was not always this way. This meant that those other noxious characteristics were not gone completely, simply lying dormant. It was how we dealt with them on a daily basis that established what kind of vampires we were. Carlisle had been a vampire for over two hundred years and the tales he told me from his early years were horrific.
There was a time, many centuries ago, when vampires terrorized the Earth, killing humans for sport because of restlessness and the most addictive element of them all – power. Their killings were masked by plagues and war, when so many humans were dying anyway, no one took notice of the specifics as to how. It was so common that it was projected that in a few thousand years, humans would not be able to procreate fast enough to counterbalance the fatalities brought upon their species by our kind and they would eventually become extinct.
As a result, the Volturi government was established and under Aro's leadership, they put an end to the killings. Current vampire laws stated that it was not illegal to utilize humans for food because the blood loss rendered the experience forgettable to them, as though it never occurred, but taking their lives afterwards was strictly forbidden. Transformations did not occur unless venom was injected into the human's bloodstream and because that process was very controllable, mistakes were never made. It had to be a conscious decision by the vampire to change a human into one of them. Knowing how cruel and ruthless the Volturi were, I always found it puzzling as to why they stepped in to save the human race. They seemed more like the types to aspire for global domination. There were many things about that group of vampires I would never understand.
Carlisle had once been a murderous vampire when he was left to survive on his own after his change and it was his disgust with himself afterwards that made him re-evaluate his ideals and turn to animal blood as a substitute. I believed that his work as a physician was his way of trying to make up for all of the human lives he had taken in his early years. It was difficult to see him as anything other than compassionate because the Carlisle I had always known was nothing close to a monster. I admired him greatly for his drastic turnaround and he set a remarkable example for others, such as me and the rest of our coven, proving that it was possible to exist without preying upon humans.
As Isabella's eyes remained locked with mine, I wished to appeal to her in ways no other male ever had or ever would. Selfishly, regardless of my plan to be nothing more than her friend, I wanted her to single me out.
As usual, her silent mind provided me no additional information and I felt frustrated. I fought with my handicap, commanding my mind to extract the information from her I so desperately craved, but the effort became tiresome. So I relented to the fact that I would not know anything further until we spoke.
The thoughts of the teacher entered my mind before he even made it to the door.
"Good morning, class! And Happy Halloween to you all," he announced upon his arrival.
The student's internal groans and comments told me his name was Mr. Banner. Isabella jumped slightly and looked toward the doorway and I followed her gaze, disappointed that this older male had diverted her attention. When he spotted me, he flashed a welcoming smile.
"Ah, I see we have a new student. It's a nice day to start at a new school, wouldn't you say?"
In keeping with my aversion to small talk, I simply nodded at him. He took my attendance slip from my hand and I used that as my opportunity to return my gaze to Isabella.
As the teacher walked to his desk, I heard his emotionally charged thoughts which were much too strong to ignore. Although he was a smart male when it came to science, his thoughts were otherwise overrun with simplicity and he was terribly insecure in his personal life. His terminally ill wife was his greatest concern, the reason he was routinely late every Friday morning.
He always visited her in the hospital prior to her chemotherapy, and would not let go of her hand until the very last moment before she was placed in her wheelchair and hauled off to the cancer clinic for her treatment. Most of her sessions were in the late afternoons, except Fridays, which was why it was only on this day that he was tardy.
Visions of his wife's gaunt face, yellow skin and hairless head invaded my mind from his, in alternating succession with the vision of Isabella before me, and I felt sorry for him. I did not know what it was like to watch a loved one die but from what I picked up on from this male, it was evidently very difficult. Suddenly, a feeling of dread washed over me as I stared into the vivacious dark brown eyes of Isabella and compared her to the heartbreak, illness and pain the teacher dealt with every day with his spouse.
One day, Isabella would cease to exist and I would know the pain humans experienced in those circumstances. Would I have to watch her suffer like this male with his mate? A million questions raced through my mind.
But these were not thoughts I could entertain right now – not when we had just moved here so I could have Isabella in my life. If I continued thinking along those terms, I would be packed up and gone before twilight. I never thought I was anything close to human, until now.
I frowned and concentrated on blocking Mr. Banner's sorrow. It was important to concentrate on the here and now, something I was much accustomed to doing in most areas of my life before Isabella came along. When facing years of endless existence, there was never any reason to look into the future and plan ahead.
"So sir, would you like to introduce yourself or shall I make the introductions?"
As the females in the class speculated what my name was, I crossed my arms and looked back at the teacher before returning my gaze to my audience.
"Cullen. Edward Cullen, sir."
I cringed inwardly as every female, at the same time, screeched my name in their minds, repeating it over and over again, giggling with excitement. All I desired was to know what Isabella thought. The males took on a more typical approach and criticized my moniker for sounding too old-fashioned. They had no idea just how true that was.
"What, did he come to school as James Bond for Halloween? I'm Cullen, Edward Cullen. Shaken, not stirred." The male sitting behind Isabella mocked me. Meanwhile, his thoughts told me that he felt threatened as he contrasted my success with the females with his own failure to attract the same attention from them.
Only the idiotic students among the group found him amusing and they laughed, their thoughts referring to him as Newton or Mike. To my complete surprise, Isabella turned around in her chair and verbalized her disgust with his comment and it certainly caught him off guard, as well as the black haired girl sitting beside him.
This girl had a familiarity in her eyes when she looked at Isabella and I focused on her mind in particular, which showed me that they were, in fact, quite close. Angela, her name was.
Another student called out some remark about my vehicle and I studied Mike as his feelings towards Isabella shifted from anger to desire. Immediately, I despised that male because his new thoughts were absolutely deplorable – far worse than what was on the minds of the other males.
Rage boiled in my chest and for the first time ever, I thought about how easy it would be to silence a human for good. I would be so swift that he would not even see me coming, and his body would be disposed of before anyone even noticed that he and I were no longer in the classroom.
I thought about Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett and their protectiveness over their mates and I understood them perfectly. Even though Isabella and I would never be mated, that did not mean I would not protect her. That was the reason behind me seeking her out after her seventeenth birthday in the first place. I would rather kill than have any harm come to her, no matter what my vow to our government was.
Although Mike possessed dishonorable intentions towards Isabella as I supposed any hormonally charged teenage boy would, what he was unaware of was that he now had an obstacle so great in his path that he would never have the opportunity to act out his fantasies.
Me.
I would never let him near her – or any male in this town for that matter. But in the back of my mind, harassing me, was the fact that one day, Isabella would have a human male who she would love, marry, and bear children for - someone other than me to take care of her. Now that she was here before me, that reality was too much for me to bear. I had been so committed to my decision and believed that my plan was fool-proof, but with every passing second, my confidence diminished and I wanted more from her than just friendship
Had I made a mistake in moving to Forks, knowing that she would never be mine?
As Mike continued his vulgar thoughts, I forced myself to remain steadfast in my decision. She needed me here, just as much as I needed to be here.
"Well, everyone, let's welcome Edward." I felt something brush against my shoulder and Mr. Banner hissed under his breath. I realized that he had patted my back, which explained his painful reaction. He was lucky that he did not break his wrist or shatter his fingers. "My, my. Aren't you a strong fellow?!"
I did not bother replying for I was too busy looking at Isabella. She had not taken her eyes off of me since my arrival and I hoped my constant stare in return did not make her feel uncomfortable.
"Edward, the only seat left is right over there by Miss Swan. You two can be lab partners since she doesn't have one," Mr. Banner instructed.
Panic radiated from Isabella, plowing into me with such force that I never expected to come from such a small, fragile human. Epinephrine raced through her veins from her adrenal gland - the fight or flight hormone. This partnership offered me the perfect opportunity to speak with her but perhaps she was not so enthusiastic about the idea. Her pulse quickened greatly as well as her respirations and I grew even more confused. She could be excited or scared. I was not sure.
I pretended to breathe and fidgeted as I made my way towards Isabella, switching my jacket from my left hand to my right. Our eyes remained locked for the duration of my journey and when I reached the lab bench, I inhaled deeply, attempting to swarm my senses with her beautiful jasmine scent. It had been thirteen years since I had been given this privilege in such close proximity, but this time was much sweeter as I was able to appreciate it more than I had then, even if it was terrifying me that it attracted me so immensely.
Her lips parted slightly and it was then I sensed it – lust - radiating off of her in droves. Now that I was close to her, I smelled it surging through her body, tainted with the coffee that sat in front of her, masking the scent of everyone else in the room. But as I concentrated with a smile on my face, I realized that it was more than that - different from the attraction coming off of the other females - in fact, any female I had ever encountered. It was much more intense and emotional. Yes, it was definitely not lust. It was something much greater.
As a tingling sensation traveled from my chest to my extremities, my smile quickly faltered. I had never experienced such longing before. My mind as well as my body craved her in ways that it should not, especially since we were only to remain friends and suddenly, I felt completely powerless against my resolve. I certainly had not expected this complication. My love for her was strong but I never anticipated her returning the same feelings. But without entry into her thoughts, there was still no way for me to know what it was that had overwhelmed her so completely that it nearly sent me running from the room.
I cleared my throat, attempting to calm myself down as I looked as her various personal items scattered about the table. She looked embarrassed and that lovely blush of hers deepened.
"I'm sorry," she whispered as she cleared a space for me and moved over to the stool by the window.
Taking my place beside her, I focused on her rapid heart rate and the heat radiating from her body, which inundated me. She breathed in deeply, sighing ever so slightly and as I shifted on my stool in an attempt to act less graceful, my arm made contact with hers.
The touch energized me and I felt warm, happy...complete.
However, as expected, her eyes widened, she jolted upright and the strong, mysterious emotion radiating from her grew even more potent. Immediately, I pulled my arm away, scolding myself for being so careless. It had only been twenty-three seconds since I sat down and already I erred in a way I had always been so vigilant to avoid in the past. The fine hairs on her arm stood up from the intense coldness of my skin and I realized that this is how it would always be if I touched her. Unfortunately, I would no longer be able to afford myself that privilege.
Carlisle was able to convince his patients that it was his nature to be so cold, but for the majority of us, that would not work. There were other complications to physical touch between vampire and human as well. It had taken me almost ten years after my change to grow accustomed to utilizing items like a pencil without breaking them. If I could crush a tree trunk with my bare hands, then the dangers to a human would be even more damaging. Although I had learned to control my strength, being in Isabella's company made me doubt myself. The risk was far too great if I slipped and my usual confidence was not enough to assure me that I would never accidently harm her. I had to be extra cautious from now on, just in case. I had blundered much too easily just now.
The female with the black hair behind Isabella kicked her stool and her thoughts entertained ideas about Isabella's infatuation over me. Additionally, she supported her conduct, happy that her friend seemed interested, although she silently begged her to act less obvious.
I hoped Angela was right and that Isabella was fond of me. However, those additional feelings beyond friendship troubled me because of the problems they could potentially create regarding my plan. Upon further investigation, I found this female, Angela, to be quite loyal. I had to remember to be nice to her. Her thoughts showed she was a nice female and an honest friend to Isabella.
I removed a writing utensil and notebook from my bag and then zipped it up and placed it on the floor at my feet. Like any student would, I looked straight ahead at the teacher, but my mind was focused on how to speak with the female beside me. I needed a casual approach. I thought about my recent late night piano session and the melody I composed with her in mind. I mimicked the beat with my pen against the table, using Isabella's heart beat to increase the tune ever so slightly to make it more upbeat – invigorating, like she was.
But after a few bars, I was much too distracted by her jasmine scent and the repulsive odor of the coffee that sat in front of me to continue. I supposed she forgot to move it with all of her other items. I had to remove it so I could smell her, untainted. I could feel the coolness of the liquid seeping into the air, signalling it had long been forgotten, rendering it completely undrinkable now. Human food and beverages smelled absolutely dreadful to vampires and the caffeine, milk, and sugar wafting from this brew was no exception. Carefully, I slid the offending item towards her.
"Uh, t-thank you," she replied as she reached for the cup. I removed my grip quickly, ensuring our hands did not make contact as a silence enveloped us. It seemed like the opportune time for a proper introduction.
"Hello, my name is Edward." I stared directly into her eyes, lost in their intricacy and beauty. When I pronounced my name, her pulse quickened. Although it was customary for a gentleman to take the woman's hand in his when formally introducing himself and place a soft kiss upon her skin, considering my mishap earlier that was clearly not an option.
She turned to me and smiled – the first time in thirteen years her smile was directed at me. "Hey," she spoke.
I decided against saying hello again because now my initial introduction sounded much too square.
"Hey," I replied, satisfied with my ability to loosen up my vocabulary. I offered a smile and that caused her heart to hammer in her chest, making it difficult for me to concentrate.
"Hey," she repeated in a whisper. I grazed my tongue along my lower lip, revelling in the sweet taste of her breath on my skin as she spoke.
Nervousness emitted from her and an awkward silence enveloped us. I was concerned we had hit a drought, but she quickly broke the curse. "So, I hear you were homeschooled and that your mom is an interior designer. My dad, Charlie, has met your dad at the hospital. He's the head of Surgery there, right? How do you like Forks? It's not too boring for you, is it? I know when I first moved to town back in August, I thought I would die of boredom, but it's growing on me. Do you have any hobbies? You have brothers and sisters that go here, too, right? I'm an only child and growing up I always wished that I had a brother or sister. You don't like Dungeons and Dragons, do you? Oh, and I really like your jacket - North Face?"
I studied her eyes until she uttered her final sentence, absolutely enthralled by the way she formed her words and the interest she had in me and my family. She gulped, her facing turning red, and I could not help but laugh at her innocence.
"Well, let me see. I was not home-schooled, but rather, tutored for the duration of September and October until we were able to enrol here at Forks High. Before that I always attended regular schools. My mother, Esme, is in fact, a very talented interior designer. My father, Carlisle, has mentioned your father, Charlie, many times. And yes, he is the head of the Surgical Department at Forks General Hospital. So far, I like this town very much. It is definitely a change from the big cities I am used to living in but I find that I am adjusting quite nicely. In my spare time, I enjoy hiking in the woods, reading and composing music on my piano or guitar. I have two brothers, Emmett and Jasper and two sisters, Alice and Rosalie. We were adopted so we are all seniors. I cannot say I have ever played Dungeons and Dragons. And no, it is not North Face, it is Armani."
Her eyes widened. Vampires were bestowed with memory capabilities far greater than those of any human so it was not a great shock that she was amazed by my swift response.
"Uh, it's nice to meet you," she stammered.
She had no idea how lovely it was for me to hear that. "And you, as well, Isabella."
"Alright, settle down," Mr. Banner instructed. "Since we've had a late start today, we will head straight into the short review for Monday's quiz. Miss Swan, can you inform Mr. Cullen of how we do things around here? And please provide him with the notes from this week so he won't be lost come test time."
Her heart skipped a beat. "Ah, s-sure...um, yes."
She turned to me and I was grateful for her attention once again "We always have a review every Friday of the content we covered throughout the week and then we get quizzed on that material on Monday. I can make copies of my notes, if you like. Then you can take them home and study this weekend."
"I would greatly appreciate that, thank you. But only if it is not too much trouble." Isabella had to get used to me doing stuff for her, not the other way around, but she seemed excited to assist me in this particular instance and there was no way I would deny her that – or anything, for that matter.
"No, it's fine." She waved her hand, sending a gust of her scent in my direction. "I can make copies at lunch and slip them into your locker. What's your locker number?"
Recalling the number the secretary in the office provided me, I smiled. "Number 157. Close to the art room."
Her brown eyes sparkled and I knew without a doubt that I had never seen such beauty before. "Really?! Mine's 152. We're practically neighbors!"
I could not help but smile at her enthusiasm. She had no idea just how close I had been these last thirteen years every October. "Yes, I guess you can say that. Thank you, Isabella."
"Y-you're welcome." Her blood rushed to her face and she focused her attention back to the front, much to my dismay.
I knew the components of the course extremely well so I spent the next fifty minutes counting the number of hairs on Isabella's right arm, studying the unique way she crossed her t's and dotted her i's, and memorizing the way in which she tucked her hair behind her ears whenever she stopped writing and listened to the lesson.
My biggest challenge was ignoring the internal comments of the other humans in the room because every time one of them mentioned my name, which was more often than not, my attention was diverted and I did not want to miss a moment of Isabella.
I made sure to copy down some content as well, just so I would not seem out of place amongst the scribbling students throughout the room. I even raised my hand and answered some questions to show additional interest, which seemed to impress Isabella greatly. I could tell she was a meticulous, smart woman and I wanted to her to know she had an intellectual equivalent in her lab partner, even though my knowledge base was much more extensive than hers.
When the bell rang, I felt disappointed that the class was over. I wondered if she had any other classes with me but I did not want to inquire. As the students disbanded and exited the classroom, I concentrated on blocking their thoughts, allowing myself a reprieve. Although, it was quite exasperating at times, having to concentrate on filtering out others thoughts, especially when I was in a large group or crowd.
However, currently, it was their external chatter that intrigued me most. Many of them discussed a party that was taking place tonight, hosted by that foul-minded male, Michael Newton. I zeroed in on Angela's mind, hoping she would mention something about her and Isabella attending, but she was too focused on inquiring about Isabella's thoughts on me after I left. I did not blame her. I, too, was interested and I wished I could be in the vicinity when that particular exchange took place. Although I possessed acute hearing, in a school full of conversing humans, it would be difficult to isolate one particular discussion if I was not present in the immediate area.
As I stood up, I acknowledged Isabella, ensuring that she was aware I enjoyed speaking with her. "It was a pleasure meeting you and I hope to see you around. And thank you for the notes, Isabella."
"No problem, that's what lab partners do," she laughed and I heard Angela giggle behind me, hovering, anxiously awaiting my exit.
Retrieving my messenger bag and jacket, I walked across the room, attempting to ignore the mindless chatter of the student body. It was difficult to walk away from Isabella. I wanted nothing more than to carry her school bag and escort her to her next class, which I hoped would be mine, pull out her chair in the cafeteria, pay for her meal, like a gentleman should, and discover what kind of food she liked, music, books, and what her aspirations for the future were. Everything. However, I had already shown too much attention and I needed to act less obvious in my affection for her. It was truly difficult, much more than I anticipated, especially if her interest in me was beyond friendship.
As I stepped into the crowded corridor, and my view of her disappeared, I felt empty. It was then I realized that my current complications were only the beginning and I had to take another serious look at my original plan.
Oh man! Is Edward in it just as bad as Bella? Me thinks so:)
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Leave me sugar!
