Chapter 7

Roy watched as his captain jogged off to his truck and then drove out, as soon as his truck was out of site he began gathering Mike, Marco and Chet. Together the four of them walked into the dorm where John was still trying to finish getting the beds made, he had long given up on getting the nap his captain had given him permission for.

Tucking the second to the last pillow in its case John turned around to see his crew mates surrounding him and wondered if he should be worried.

"John," Roy spoke first, "We need to talk, I don't know why you're worried about things, but it's clear that before you'll open up and tell someone what's got you so tied up in knots we need to convince you that we're not planning to do anything to Cap."

"Yeah man," Chet spoke up, he had also noticed his pigeon was not acting himself and had been alarmed when Roy told them what John had said in the hospital earlier. "The only thing we're planning is to walk up to him after the performance and embarrass him a little. No harm done."

"So you're not planning anything, just to embarrass him a little." John responded sarcastically, "sounds like you're planning something to me. Just what did he ever do to you?"

The tones once again chose the most imperfect time to sound off and Squad 51 was summoned to a possible heart attack. Mike, Marco and Chet watched the squad roll onto the street feeling even more worried for their friend.

As the bay door closed behind the squad Chet turned to finish John's chores for him. Not able to think of any thing better to do Mike and Marco helped him.

-0-

Arriving at the school and finding the parking lot nearly empty, Hank moved quickly to the auditorium and began his warm up stretches. Before he was finished his daughter was at his side beginning hers. The two shared nervous smiles with each other and were warming up with some of they're lifts when Emily and Hank's ballet instructor Jennie Martin were noticed off stage waiting for him to be able to give them his attention.

These two women knew what the dance teacher from the school didn't, Hank was not taking liberties in making the last bow, he did so out of ignorance not arrogance. The two respected women proceeded to educate Hank that it was proper adequate for the lead ballerina to make the final bow.

Now Hank had no problem with this, the only reason he had done it the other way was using the ladies first rule. Letting his daughter take the final bow also made it easier for him to give her the bouquet of roses he had arranged for his wife to hand to him during the final bows. The only problem was now he was once again heading into unrehearsed territory.

Hank and Kristen spent a quick minute talking about how they were going to do the final bow but before they could practice, it was time to begin the final group warm up.

Hank managed to get through opening night and the final bows felt awkward but Hank was the only one that noticed. The lighting director, a Jr. High Student new to such responsibilities, forgot to bring up the house lights at the end of the production, as a result Hank, and the rest of the cast for that matter, were amazed at the sound of the applause but Hank had no idea that many of his superiors and fellow firemen were in the audience or that they were all receiving a standing ovation.

-0-

Hank skipped the after party and hurried back to the station to finish his shift. Both the squad and the engine were out when Hank let himself into the station but before he had showered and changed into his uniform they were backing into the bay.

Hank stepped out of the locker room to find four firemen and one substitute captain standing at the back door looking out into the back lot. When he walked up to his counterpart with a questioning look on his face his gaze was directed to the top of the hose tower and the lone figure sitting at the top.

"Anything happen on the last run to explain this?" Hank questioned his men and looked around to see each one shaking their head no.

"He's been upset about something all shift Cap and none of us can get him to talk about it." Roy offered knowing he should have said something about the tickets to watch him perform the next night but he just couldn't seem to spit that part out.

Hank took in and let out a deep breath before looking to the friend who had covered for him. "He had a visitor before our last run that seemed to make things worse. If he were one of mine, I'd be calling in the crisis councilor and a replacement."

Hank let out his deep breath and gave his forlorn paramedic one more long look, "Alright, I'll talk to him in a minute but first I want to make a phone call." Hank turned to leave only to turn back to his men, "Just leave him alone but don't let him out of your sight, I'll be back in a minute."

In the office Hank made a call to the captain that John had worked for on his last overtime and asked if there was anything he could tell him to explain the behavior of his man. Information was shared, not enough to give Hank the answers he was looking for but hopefully enough to get the man on the tower to give him the rest. From his office Hank picked up two turn out coats and pulling one on headed up the ladder on the hose tower.

"Better put this on it's cold out here tonight," Hank handed the other coat to his medic and friend.

John turned to him and Hank could see the tracks of tears on his face reflecting in the moonlight. With out saying a word John accepted the turn out coat and pulled it on before pulling his knees up and wrapping his arms around them.

Hank sat at the top of the ladder and started the conversation hoping John would fill in the blanks. "I just called Captain James," "he said you had more than your share of attempted suicides last night."

John just silently nod his head to confirm what his captain was saying. "He said there was one that seemed to rattle you a little but that he didn't realize it was an attempted suicide until he looked at your log book entry after you'd gone to bed. Something about a boy stuck in a tree?" Hank just hoped John would take it from there.

"The call came in as a kid stuck in a tree," John started to talk, he had wanted to talk to some one about it all day but knowing his crewmates were planning to do something to embarrass their captain made them the last people he wanted to talk to. He some how knew his captain would understand though.

"We were just on our way back from Harbor after Mat had his shoulder stitched up but we were only a couple of blocks away when the call came in. It all seemed simple enough so we rolled on it even though there was no way on earth Mat was goin to be climbing that tree with his shoulder and all. When we pulled up there were about six kids and two adults standing about the trunk of the tree calling up and taunting the kid that was up in the tree house. They were calling him a wimp, sissy, fairy and several other things. Even the adults were berating him. They said if he'd spend more time working on his sports instead of taking dancing lessons he wouldn't be too scared to come down."

John paused to look at his captain and could tell instantly that his captain was hanging on every word. "I climbed up there, figured I'd have him down before the engine got there, I just got to the tree house when I saw him getting ready to step off the railing, he had a rope tied around his neck the other end was tied to a substantial limb just above him. The kid was only nine years old Cap."

Hank knew the best thing he could do was keep quiet and listen but he made sure that when ever John looked up at him he found his eyes looking back intently.

"I grabbed him and got the rope off from around his neck and just hung on. I managed to call down for Mat to call an ambulance and waited for the engine to get there with a ladder. The kid just hung real stiff like in my arms but I noticed he was holding a bunch of papers in his hand and managed to get them out and look them over. There were three letters in kid's hand writing telling him that he was really a girl and didn't deserve to be part of their team, one said he should just drop out, another said he should drop dead and I didn't read the other one. I just cradled him and started rocking him. Told him they were all wrong that I had taken dancing lessons and no one could call me a girl, cuz I was a fireman. That's when he started to sob and his muscles relaxed a little.

That was about the time the cop got there and sent the hecklers at the base of the tree on there way and with them gone the kid relaxed a little more. By the time the ladder was there for me to climb down he was just looking at me."

John gave his captain another searching look and wasn't disappointed by the look coming back to him.

"In the ambulance on the way in he finally started talking, he told me that he had been hit by a car while he was riding his bike a year ago and the doctor prescribed Ballet to help with his rehab, then he said that it was kind of fun and because of his 'friends' he was thinking there was something wrong with him.

I started telling him about you and how you learned to dance so you would be safer at work and that you were now dancing with your daughter. I made sure he knew I didn't think there was anything wrong with it and that dancing didn't make you any less of a man so it didn't make him any less of a boy."

"Cap, the whole time he was planning to hang himself these kids were just yelling at him and tearing him down till he didn't think himself anything of worth." "I didn't say anything to any one, Once I got him down from the tree I just hurried him to the ambulance and told them to take us in non code R, the captain must have thought I had a few screws loose."

"He was a little confused as to what was going on, but he trusted your judgment, it was out of curiosity that he was looking at the log book after you went to bed and then he understood, he was stunned that a boy so young would try to end it all but he understood your actions." Hank responded with information he had gotten during his call. Captain James hadn't realized when John left that morning that he was still shook up about things but with the chaos surrounding the last run of the day, another suicide attempt, he admitted he could have easily missed something.

"Yeah, well I couldn't just send the kid home under those circumstances now could I? And I didn't want to let all of his hecklers know what was going on. I wanted to yell at them Cap, make them understand what jerks they were, but I had to keep it calm for the kid, you know?"

"I understand, you did what was best for the patient, just like you always do."

"I didn't say anything to any one except for the Doctor. I just made sure the nurse was watching him close and asked the doctor to step out into the hall with me. I told him what happened and gave him the notes the kid had been holding. He went back in and looked the kid over good and found the mild rope burns on his neck, I think that was the first he really believed me." "Every time I tried to sleep last night I kept seeing that kid with the rope around his neck starting to take a step off the railing. If I had been just a second longer getting up that tree-"

John stopped his narration and hung his head Hank just sat their quietly for a few moments of silence then reached out and touched John's arm. John let our a few hitched sighs then looked up at his Captain once again, this time he turned his body to more fully face his captain.

"You know the guys all have tickets to the performance tomorrow night," John revealed, "their planning to do something to embarrass you."

It was Hank's turn to hang his head, but he didn't keep it down long, "John, I know I try real hard to keep my dancing quiet but I assure you that the worse thing I'll do is blush real good."

John gave one of his crooked grins, his eyes were still sad and moist but he was now able to smile just a little, progress was being made. "I know that Cap, you're so together you'd never do anything stupid."

"It's nice to know you don't consider wearing tights and dancing around with a bunch of teenagers stupid, because I'll tell you I've wondered that myself this last several weeks." Both men now laughed a little.

"You're just doing it for your daughter; I think that's really great, it reminds me of my dad before he died, He used to help me practice the tribal dances kids on the reservation were expected to learn, Even though he was never accepted on the res because he was white." John then leaned back against the rail and Hank placed his hand in the middle of his back to make sure he didn't fall through to the ground. John responded by wrapping his arms around his knees again and turning to look at his Captain but more importantly admired friend. "I'm so sorry for the way I treated you when we first found out last year, I, I, didn't understand back then, we still shouldn't have acted the way we did."

"It's alright John, the past is past," Hank had long let go any ill will toward his men for the pranks and razzing they had given him when they first learned of his being seen in a dancing studio wearing tights.

"Ron said you got a visitor tonight," Hank had to find out if there was something more, "What was that all about?"

"Oh, it was the kid in the tree's father," John answered, "He came by to tell me thank you. He a, kinda needed to talk a little about what was going on too." John looked down then looked strait at his captain once again. "I hope you're not mad at me but I gave him three tickets to the performance tomorrow night, I thought it would be good for the kid to see a grown man dancing especially knowing that you are a fireman and all."

"John," Hank spoke feeling humbled at the praise that had been given him, "You've placed me on a pedestal so high I'm about to get a nose bleed. Don't you think you're getting a little carried away?"

"You're the kind of person who belongs there Cap. You know that night I subbed at 36's, , when we were driving back from the hospital after we dropped off the girl from your cast, Carter couldn't stop talking about what the girl said on the way in. She told him that you made her feel like she was an important part of the cast even though she was just a back ground dancer and how cool it was that a grown up talked to her the way you did.

It really impressed Carter that you would have that kind of influence on someone her age. Course he also thinks any one who would do anything requiring tights at your age must have a loose screw somewhere." John was really smiling now but his eyes were still moist.

"There you go again putting me on that pedestal," Hank added as much merriment to his voice as he could. I'm merely indulging in the chance to make and share some special memories with my daughter, and I'll admit, but if you tell any one else I'll deny it, that I have enjoyed myself. There has been nothing noble or heroic just a lot of fun and having a good time."

"Yeah, yeah, I know that, but you're doing more than just spending time with your daughter, you're also being a real positive roll model to all the others that you're working with." "I've been thinking a lot today about some of the rescues we've had lately. There was the kid that was hit by a car because he was trying to get away from kids that were making fun of him, the kid that fell off the ladder last night was really shook off by some kids tormenting him and shaking the ladder to try and scare him. And then there was that guy last week who had a heart attack while his mother-in-law was telling him how worthless he was, and now the guys are planning to embarrass you while you're doing something special with your daughter. What's the difference in what you're doing and Roy playing doll house with his daughter? I thought this was the season of peace on earth good will toward men, what's happening to this world?"

Hank reached up once again and started to rub John's shoulder while he thought his next words through. "I think there is a lot of Peace on Earth and a lot of Good Will being given out there, the problem is that those activities usually don't involve us getting called out to pick up the pieces." Hank was waiting with a warm smile on his face for when John would look his way again. "We tend to only see the worst of things because that's where we're needed. I guess you could say that we're the ones bringing the good will to the holiday season for some people."

There was a moment of silence as John thought about what his captain had said before he turned to face him. "That's one way to think about it." There was another moment of silence as John thought but his time he managed a warm but still sad smile. "Thanks Cap, I really needed to talk about all this."

"I think if you'll go to bed thinking about the difference you made in that young boy's life, as well as all the other's you've helped, you'll be able to sleep a little better, you ready to give it a try."

John looked over and nod his head before yawning uncontrollably.

"Ready to get down from here before the rest of the guys pull out the life net?" When John agreed Hank moved down the ladder just far enough for John to get on then stayed behind him all the way down, he was sure John would be able to perform his job for the rest of the shift and wanted to keep him around so that he could keep an eye on him.

The rest of the guys were letting out sighs of relieve as they watched their captain and crewmate start down the ladder. They had been able to tell that John had opened up and talked and were hoping that he'd be alright now.

As the captain kept his hand in the middle of John's back guiding him into the station they waited. Once the two of them stepped inside John gave his shift mates a glare of mistrust before turning silent eyes to his captain.

"Do you need some warm milk before you go to bed?" Hank asked.

"Na, I think all I need is a horizontal position."

"All right then but if you're not sound asleep in twenty minutes it's time to call in a replacement and talk to the Doctor." Hank was only as stern as he needed to be. He was already planning to try to sit and talk with him more to get him asleep before he called the doctor to request a sedative.

Since his night turn outs were already set up John just headed straight for the dorm.

Hank turned to the rest of the crew who stood by worriedly wanting more information. "He had a real bad run last night, that and a little too much overtime lately, I think he'll be fine now but I want you all to be extra quiet when you turn in tonight as not to wake him."

"Now if we can just have a quiet night as far as calls," Roy remarked.

"Speaking of Calls, Mike will you call us available," Hank directed then motioned the rest of the crew into the common room where John couldn't hear them talking. Once they were all gathered Hank had one statement to make.

"I understand you're all planning to attend the performance tomorrow night, well I only have one thing to say, if any one of you does one thing to ruin the night for my daughter I will have every fire engine in this response area parked outside at the beginning of your next shift waiting for you to give them a wash and wax. Do I make myself clear?"

There was a round of 'yes sir' and Hank was ready to drop the subject.

"Well then I'm ready to call it a night, Ron is there anything I need to know before you leave?"

-0-

When Hank turned in a few minutes later he took just a moment to check on his youngest medic. John was there with his arm over his eyes and his slow and even breathing told him the man was sleeping. He fatherly pulled the blankets up a little and then went to his own bunk.

Little did he know that it was people outside of his crew that were making big plans for his next performance.