Author's Note: Hey guys, I am not very happy with this chapter, but I hope you guys enjoy it. Please review! I really like to hear what you people think of the story. Other than that… just enjoy!
You Saved Me
Chapter 7:
Returning on Monday to school, proved to be one of the hardest things Arizona had to do in her life. It was a cold slap on the face to realize that life just goes on. For her, it had been the most tiring, difficult, weird weekend in her life, but as she entered her classroom and saw a couple of girls joking and laughing, she understood people couldn't stop their lives because she was sick.
On top of that, her mom had made her go get a haircut. "It will help you to embrace this new situation." Joyce had said, convinced of her silly idea. To Arizona's disgrace, her hairdresser had confused the term "bangs" with the term "mow hawk". And now her very short bangs stuck up as if she was trying to pose for a punk rock singer.
She walked towards her desk and saw Dened who smiled at her.
"Hey babe," she said smiling at Arizona. "Aria told us about the doctor. You know we are here for you."
Arizona had asked Aria to fill in the rest of the group. She felt like she couldn't handle it all over again.
"I know my friend," Arizona said as Dened reached and hugged her. "Hey, you are hugging me? You must really feel for me."
"No," answered Dened feeling the mocking tone coming from her friend. "I am just offering my condolences on that awful hair cut."
Arizona laughed and slapped her friend on the shoulder.
"Ok, I have to go talk to Bailey. See you later."
Arizona approached the teacher, who was already sitting there watching her students gossip and talk.
"Hey Arizona," said the stern looking woman looking around one more time. "Why did I choose to teach in an all girl school? Bunch of teenage hormonal girls screaming all the time."
Arizona smiled at the rambling teacher.
"I do not know Miss Maureen," she answered. "Do you think I can go talk to Bailey? I have something important to tell her."
Maureen turned her total attention to her, noticing the dark circles under her eyes and the paleness in her face.
"Sure," she then added with kindness in her voice. "Are you ok?"
"Sure I am." She smiled.
Arizona turned around and noticed Ash had entered the room. She tried to call the blonde's attention, but her friend motioned her as if to say that they would talk later. Ash just nodded.
She knew she had to inform the pertinent staff of her condition. Her mom had offered to do it for her, but Arizona had refused insisting it was something she had to do for herself.
So, Monday had come and she knew whom she had to go to: Miranda Bailey, she was the school's dean of discipline and a retired nurse, but Arizona ran to her for advice and considered her a second mother. She would help her out.
"Hey Zona!" exclaimed Bailey when she saw the blonde teenager enter her office. She was typing furiously on her computer. Arizona sat down on one of the chairs in front of the desk. "Wait I just have to finish this and I'm all yours."
"Miranda?" Arizona said, making her look up from her computer. When she saw those, usually sparkling, blue eyes full of unshed tears she got worried. She had never seen Arizona looking so sad.
"Arizona, honey, what's wrong?" she asked.
"I need to tell you something, but please promise me you won't look at me differently," said Arizona confusing Bailey who could only nod. "I need to know you will still treat me the same."
"I will." Said Bailey, certain of her promise.
"Um, well on Friday I went to the doctor," said Arizona with her voice shivering, but refusing to cry. "I've got lupus Miranda."
Bailey's eyes were immediately full of pain for her student. She stood up, closed the distance between them and gave Arizona a bone-crushing hug. Arizona let a couple of tears flow, not letting Bailey see her emotions.
"I'm so sorry Arizona." She whispered to her ear.
Bailey knew the struggle her student was facing, she was a professional nurse and she knew that is why Arizona had sought her out. They stayed like that for a moment in silence and then the most random thought coursed through Arizona's mind.
"On top of that they gave me a horrible haircut. Look," she said making Bailey laugh along with her young student. After the laughter died down, she added with a serious tone. "I need you to help me tell who I need to tell."
"Of course I will kid." Replied Bailey.
After that, Bailey made a meeting with the principal and other school staff in order to inform them of the restrains Arizona would have now. After that, they talked to Arizona directly and she felt what she was dreading: they pitied her.
That made her angry, but that was a normal feeling for her now. Anger was something she rarely experienced before. Now she felt it all the time and she couldn't control it. Her closest friends now knew, so they had patience with her. But soon enough, other people began to wonder what was happening to the once perky and nice Arizona Robbins.
She knew this. She knew the medicine she was taking would make her act like this. She didn't want to hurt anyone, so she began to avoid people. She went straight home from school, ate silently with her mother and proceeded to lock herself in her room. All the angst and anger she was feeling, she would swallow, it was only for her.
She was so closed in her that Aria had invited her on Friday to hang at her house and not even the prospect of seeing Calliope was enough for Arizona to accept. Aria insisted, but Arizona prevailed in the end.
So, Arizona fell into a routine for the next couple of weeks. All she had to do was: go to school, return home and sleep. But her routine was smashed at the moment she woke up Friday morning. She knew something was wrong, she felt this strange anguish in the pit of her stomach. It was as if all of the anger she had felt had turned into a big ball and settled in her stomach.
She tossed and turned for a little while, but the feeling wouldn't shake off. Finally she got out of bed and nausea made her almost vomit. She controlled her breathing and the feeling toned down. Arizona got ready for school and left her room, bag in hand, and went down the stairs to the kitchen. Her mother was already in there drinking coffee and waiting for her.
"Want something to eat?" asked Joyce, standing up from the stool and opening the fridge.
"No I'm ok, besides I'm already late." Lied Arizona.
"Arizona," said Joyce patiently. "You heard the doctor, you have to eat right to get better."
Arizona didn't want to deal with this now. She grabbed and apple and bit on it.
"Happy?" She snapped and got out of the kitchen without waiting for an answer.
As she walked to school, she regretted the way she had talked to her mother. This is why she needed to be alone right now. She felt dangerous. Her stomach felt like it was flipping and turning. She felt nervous for no apparent reason.
She got into school earlier that she had wanted, so she decided to go to her first period classroom and sleep. Maybe that way the anguish would go away. She sat down in her seat and put her head down on the table. She drifted for some minutes, but then people started to arrive.
She straightened in her seat and realized that the dreadful feeling had only grown. She turned to look at the girls entering the classroom and then to the windows that were closed. She felt trapped. She didn't want to be talked to and she didn't want to be touched. She looked at the door and at that moment her best friends: Ash, Aria and Brenna entered the classroom casually chatting.
"Hey Zona." Brenna said happily, planting a kiss on Arizona's head. The loving gesture made her feel as she was being smothered to death.
That was all it took for Arizona to explode. Her breathing became ragged, her eyes began to water and her mouth went dry. She looked at Ash with total panic in her eyes. Ash acted fast as she realized her best friend was having an anxiety attack. The blonde had told her this might happen. Knowing about it and seeing it were two different things and Ash had to fight hard the tears that wear trying to escape.
"Panic attack honey?" Ash asked already reaching for Arizona, who could only nod.
"Oh my God." Said Aria looking around trying to find something to do.
"Aria, shut up and come and help me," said Ash reaching Arizona's seat. She took her by the arm and forced her out of her seat. "Come on honey."
Arizona was like a feather, she couldn't breath right and her brain was shutting down. Ash held her before she fell over. Arizona grabbed her hand and looked her in the eyes.
"Please not here," she mumbled, finally leaning fully on Ash. "Ash get me out of here."
The girl nodded and grabbed her arm, Aria supported her by the waist and both of them took her outside, Brenna following closely. They found a deserted corridor, Arizona was trying to control her breathing, but the more she tried the more panicked she felt.
"I. can't. breathe."
Aria let go of Arizona to let her breathe more freely, while Ash helped her sit against the wall.
I know what to do," said Brenna. "Ok Arizona, lay on the floor and put your feet against the wall." She helped Arizona turn around and raise her feet.
"I'm going to get Bailey." Aria said already running to Bailey's office.
Ash kneeled next to Arizona's head and held her hand.
"Come on honey take deep breaths," said Ash. Arizona looked everywhere making sure nobody saw her and that wasn't helping. "Nobody is here, look at me and breathe Zona come on."
Arizona looked into Ash's eyes and finally was able to take deep breaths. Ash kept on soothing Arizona with her words. Just at that moment, Bailey arrived followed by a very scared looking Aria and a startled Dened.
"What happened to her?" asked Dened with wide eyes.
"She had a panic attack." Answered Ash, giving Arizona, who was now breathing regularly, some space.
"I'm sorry," mumbled Arizona. "I'm sorry you had to see that, it's the meds."
"What you talking about," said Brenna smiling. "You got us off Biology."
Arizona smiled weakly and opened her eyes. They were there, her people were there supporting her.
"Come on girls," said Bailey ushering Brenna, Ash, Dened and Aria. "Go back to class."
They protested but began walking towards their classroom.
"We'll catch you later Zona." Said Dened, waving at Arizona.
Bailey made sure Arizona was breathing regularly before she helped her up.
"You're going to be okay kid." She said motioning for Arizona to follow her to her office.
Arizona spent the best part of her day at Bailey's office. First they chatted about nonsense and Arizona felt distracted. Then, she helped Bailey organize some paperwork from school. At break, her four friends flooded Bailey's office.
"Hey." greeted Brenna sitting on Arizona's legs.
"Get off her Brenna," said Bailey. "Let the girl breathe."
Brenna started to move, but Arizona held her by the waist.
"Don't go." Arizona smiled at her. Brenna held her close and kissed her forehead.
"I don't care what you say," said Aria with a threatening look on her face. "You are coming to my house today and you are going to have fun. It is our senior year Arizona, we have to be together while we can."
"Since when you became so mushy?" asked Dened and Aria stuck her tongue out at the curly haired girl. Arizona laughed. "But she is right you have to come, it's only going to be us!"
Arizona turned to look at Ash who just shrugged and smiled. At least she had the opportunity to see Callie.
"Fine I'll go."
Everybody cheered and screamed to Bailey's annoyance.
"Ok, that's it," she said standing up from her chair. "Everybody out. Including you Robbins."
The girls got up and noisily made their way out, Arizona followed and turned one last time at Bailey who winked and smiled at her. Arizona grinned.
She had only one thought in mind as she followed her friends: she was going to see Calliope once again.
After school, the girls got to Aria's house to spend the afternoon. Arizona texted her mother who seemed glad that she was getting out of the house for one afternoon. The only thing on Arizona's mind as they crossed the Torres' threshold was Calliope.
Unfortunately, they didn't see her on their way up to Aria's enormous room. They chatted for a bit and then they settled to watch a movie. Arizona noticed it was time for her to take her pills.
"Going to get some water," said Arizona standing up. "Anyone want something?"
"No," said Aria for all of them. "Want me to come with you."
"Nah, all ok."
As she reached the kitchen, Arizona poured herself a glass of water and took her pills. She then noticed that she hadn't eaten anything all day. She didn't want a stomachache, after all her medicines were strong. She began to look for something to eat. She knelt down to the floor and began searching in the back of the goodies cabinet. She was sure they had Oreo's somewhere.
"Looking for something?" A voice startled Arizona who jumped and banged her head against the cabinet ceiling.
"Ouch!"
She rubbed her head annoyed as she looked up from her place on the floor. Her breath caught as she saw Calliope by the door wearing just tiny shorts and a tank top. She raked the latina with her eyes. A warm spark coursed through her body.
"She is so hot," Arizona thought not taking her eyes off the brunette. "She'll be the death of me."
Callie raised an eyebrow at the staring girl and said. Then she realized Callie had asked her something.
"Oh, yeah I was looking for something to eat." She said as she raised the box of oreos for Callie to see.
"Oh right. Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Have you seen Aria?" She asked trying not to laugh at Arizona´s flushed face.
Arizona could pointed up, not wanting to talk afraid of saying something stupid. Callie seemed to understand her and nodded leaving Arizona, once again alone.
"So damn goofy." She mumbled annoyed with herself as she got up from the floor.
Suddenly, her phone began ringing. She looked at the callers ID. It read "Joyce".
"Hey mom," she answered. "What's up?"
She walked from the kitchen to the family room.
"Can you talk?" said the voice through the receiver.
"Sure," Arizona said frowning. "Everything ok?"
"I need you to listen to me carefully," said Joyce, Arizona froze. "I just talked to Dr. Webber. He just got Tim's results back."
Arizona's eyes began to water, when it came to people she loved, she couldn't control herself.
"Is it bad?" she asked expecting the worst.
"He doesn't have it Zona!" Her mom told her, clearly excited. Arizona tried no to let her tears fall, but when she spoke her voice cracked.
"Mommy?" she asked with a small voice that broke Joyce's heart. "Are you sure he doesn't have it? A 100% sure?
"I'm sure sweetheart, he is healthy and strong as an oak."
She couldn't stand it any longer, her emotions were flowing and she couldn't let her mother hear her. She didn't want her to get worried.
"Mom I have to go. Thanks for calling me, I love you." She said with her voice thick, without saying more she hung up. She closed her eyes and held her phone to her chest.
Tears finally streamed down her face, she was so happy for him. He was going to be ok! Her tears were making her feel relief and it was amazing. She laughed as she cried thinking of what this meant. It was the first time since she had been diagnosed that she had let herself feel the weight of what was happening to her and her family.
Then, that relief turned to sadness and fear. She realized she was truly alone in this and that made her feel guilty and bad. She was feeling and overwhelming flush of emotions and the once silent tears transformed into breathy sobs. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the wall.
"Control yourself." She thought as she tried to take deep breaths that only culminated in more sobs and tears.
Then, a warm hand landed on her shoulder. She turned around to face the owner of the hand. Her breath caught in her chest when she realized it was Calliope. She was looking at Arizona with the most worried, caring look in the world.
"What's wrong?" She asked softly looking Arizona in the eyes.
Arizona tried to articulate, she wanted to explain, but she couldn't talk, she was too upset. She opened her mouth as if trying to say something, but she couldn't. She shook her head and looked down avoiding Callie's penetrating gaze.
Callie closed the distance between them and caught Arizona in the most loving and amazingly strong hug she had ever received. Callie placed a kiss on top of Arizona's head while whispering comforting words to her ear.
And just then, in the arms of Calliope, Arizona melted. She let go, for the first time since she had learned her destiny; she let anyone see what she was feeling. Tears turned into heart breaking sobs as Arizona rested all her weight on the other girl. Callie slipped to the floor against the wall, still holding Arizona and settled against a wall keeping the blonde close.
And it is there, in the arms of a woman she had just met, that Arizona felt safe. She snuggled into Callie and let her emotions flow like never before.
