Life is Like T-Rex
By: Sam Lincoln
Disclaimer: The characters from Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling and are used here without permission. The story image is property of Jenny Owen Youngs and is also reproduced without permission.
"Not trying to make you think this is some kind of great big deal I just know exactly how you feel I could be the thing you reach for in the middle of the night.
Let me be the one to treat you right."
-Last Person, Jenny Owen Youngs
Chapter 7: Adventures in Real Estate
Kids, sometimes you can know a person for years, and yet have your perception of them change in an instant. Certainly that was the case with Aunt Hermione and your Grandmum. This all happened a couple of weeks after Ron proposed, during one of their visits to the Burrow. The two of them were talking in the kitchen. Actually to be precise Molly was going over some of your uncle's favorite childhood recipes when Hermione came to a realization.
"Do you have any idea how terrifying your mum is?" Hermione asked Ron after they returned from the Burrow and were lying in bed.
"She certainly can be a fright when she's brassed off, but how do you mean?"
"For starters, she raised the seven of you, including the twins and Percy at the same time."
"All of us together could be a handful, true."
"And she's practically the best cook ever," Hermione continued.
"She's not bad," Ron allowed.
"And she killed Bellatrix Lestrange! The woman is a force of nature!"
"But she likes you, always has," Ron protested.
"I never said this was a rational response Ron. I like Molly too, she's wonderful, and intimidating."
Ron leaned over to kiss Hermione on the forehead. "And I say you're overreacting."
"Oh really? Well in that case why don't you explain to her that we don't want the wedding at the Burrow?"
Ron squirmed a bit in place. "I thought it wasn't that we didn't want to have the wedding there, just that it would be impractical with all your Muggle relatives."
"So if that wasn't an issue you'd choose to have the wedding there?"
"I can't say I've given it a lot of thought," Ron said with a shrug. "Wherever makes you happy is fine with me, and I agree with you that the Burrow isn't practical, but can we also not have it at that moldy little chapel your mum wants?"
"I'm not exactly thrilled with that idea either," Hermione admitted.
"So where then?"
"I figured you'd most likely be indifferent, so I started to do some research," Hermione said, all her concerns about Molly Weasley temporarily shoved to the back of her mind.
"Of course you have," Ron said with a sigh.
"What, you think I'd pick a name out of a hat?"
"No of course not, what did you find?"
"Well, for starters, we want a place in the country, the logistics of a hall in the city are just too complicated, and we want a location that can accommodate either an outdoor or indoor service, depending on the weather. And of course it has to be large enough to account for all of our guests."
"Exactly how many people were you planning on inviting?"
"Its not that I want to have a state wedding, but just think: your family, my family, the entire DA, the Order, Hogwarts faculty, people from the Ministry. It adds up quickly."
"Suppose I can't argue about any of them, I guess I never thought about how many people we know."
"Feeling daunted yet?" Hermione asked with a wry smile.
"If we can rob Gringotts, we can pull off a wedding," Ron confidently replied.
"You say that now, but we haven't even started to think about seating arrangements," Hermione noted. She reached over to her nightstand and and retrieved a piece of paper. "Now I've narrowed the list down to twenty candidates and we'll have to visit them all before the new year."
"What?" Ron protested.
"Most of these place are very popular Ron, so we'll have to reserve a date months in advance."
"And I'm also guessing none of these places are cheap to rent out?"
"It will set us back quite a few Galleons," Hermione allowed, "but between what we've saved from living here and the reward money from the Ministry for defeating Voldemort we should be fine."
"I'm sure we can afford it, but you know me, I don't like to waste money."
Your aunt's eyes hardened. "Is that so? In that case what do you call buying a fresh Cannons' kit every season?"
"A necessity?" Ron weakly answered.
"And our marriage is a waste of money?"
Ron scrubbed his fingers through his hair in frustration. "No, of course it's not, it's just everyone is making such a big deal out of this, and it is a big deal to me, because i'm marrying you, but all this other stuff that people seem to care so much about doesn't matter to me."
Hermione leaned over and kissed Ron on the cheek. "That's sweet of you to say, but this is what I want, and we're going to have the wedding the way we," She indicated both of them with her index finger to emphasis her point. "want it. Within reason of course. So you can forget any sort of Cannons theme straight away."
"Never crossed my mind," Ron said. "I might be a dense git, but even I know you'd never agree to that." He took a deep breath. "So where do we start?"
Hermione's face brightened. "I was thinking we could start this week, there's a little country inn in Surrey I want to examine."
"I should be able to, but if we get a break in the Harris case I can't make any promises."
"You do realise I'll double check with Harry if you back out."
Would I skive off and leave you all the work? On second thought don't answer that. And how about we don't tell Mum until we've picked out a place."
"Now who's afraid of your mother?"
"It's not that, not entirely at least, but what if none of these choices work out?"
"Considering that we haven't settled on a specific date I find that highly unlikely."
"But let's just say what if..."
"Ron no, under no circumstances am I getting married at the Burrow." She took a deep breath. "I love your family Ron, but sometimes I feel like been absorbed into a collective. I want this to be about us, and not a celebration of all things Weasley. Does that make sense?"
Ron leaned over and hugged your aunt. "That makes perfect sense, and I won't bring it up ever again."
"I suppose if push came to shove we could use the Ottery St. Catchpole parish church," Hermione mused. "But only as a last resort."
"You really are looking for the spot that will irritate both our parents aren't you?"
"That's the only way to be perfectly equitable," Hermione replied lightly.
"So are there any other weighty matters we need to discuss tonight?"
"Actually yes, and this is trickier than dealing with your mum. It has to do with Harry. I know he's your best friend, he's mine too, but..."
"But we can't keep living here," Ron finished. "I know Hermione. I even told Harry as much."
"I just don't want to see him alone in this big old house."
"I know, we've talked about it before, but you're right we need our own space. I reckon you've put a list together for that too?"
"I've been looking at some options, but I wanted to talk to you first. I'm thinking we want to stay in the city?"
Ron nodded. "Yeah, I'm partial to remaining in London. I know you like living close to the Ministry and after spending all those years at the Burrow and Hogwarts I rather enjoy city life."
"In that case I'll start looking at listings for places in the city."
"Do we tell Harry?"
"He knows we're planning on leaving sooner or later, like you said you've told him as much. I don't see the need to rub his face in the matter."
"I know what you mean, I just can't help but feel like we're abandoning him or something, which is nonsense."
"Of course it's nonsense. It's not like we won't spend plenty of time here after we move out."
"I guess I'd just feel better if someone else moved in. Say do you think Ginny..."
"Don't finish that sentence, I have no idea what's going on between those two, but we are not playing matchmaker, do I make myself clear?"
Ron held up his hands in defeat. "Alright, consider it forgotten. Although they really should settle their differences and get back together."
Hermione arched an eyebrow at this comment. "So you want Harry to date your little sister?"
"How many times do I have to explain this? Better Harry than any other bloke out there. Sixty years from now, when we're settling down to Sunday dinner with Harry and his wife don't you want it to be Ginny sitting there?"
"Of course I do!" Hermione snapped. "But they have to figure this out at their own speed. How would you have liked it if Harry played matchmaker with us back at Hogwarts?"
"I wouldn't have reacted well, I get your point. It's just…"
"Frustrating? Yes but don't worry Ron. I'm sure everything will sort itself out."
"Well, I hope you're right. So Surrey?"
"Yes I was thinking we could go tomorrow. I checked your calender so I know your schedule is clear."
"I'll go with a smile on my face," Ron promised.
And so began your aunt and uncle's quest to find a venue for their wedding, as well as their concurrent hunt for a house. The country inn in Surrey was rejected because your uncle objected to the cost. The banquet hall in Berkfordshire wasn't big enough for your aunt, and so on. The same held true as they explored London looking for a house. All of the places your aunt could find were either too small, too expensive, or purchased before they could make an offer. Of course since this is your Aunt Hermione we are talking about she had new property lined up as soon as one fell through.
They continued on this pattern for a month or two until one day in late November when your aunt pulled Uncle Ron out of Grimmauld Place.
"I hate to leave you in the lurch like this Harry, but you know how Hermione gets," Ron shouted back into the house as the door closed behind him.
"I'm sorry Ron, but as I already explained we have to move quickly. This house just came on the market and it sounds ideal."
"Yes but."
"No buts, you agreed to this. I know it's an inconvenience to you, but this is important."
"I know, I know, let's just get this over with. Where are we going anyway?"
"Havering-atte-Bower."
"That's a little out of the way."
"That's what's so appealing about it. The property is an old wizard's house that just came on the market. So we'll have space to ourselves, but be near the city."
"Only technically," Ron grumbled.
Hermione swatted him on the shoulder. "Oh hush, at least wait to see it first before you run it down."
"Alright, I won't say anything else until we see the place." Your aunt and uncle clasped hands and Disapparated away.
They arrived with a pop on a wooded driveway. A wrought iron gate stood behind them facing the road. The lane extended past them and curved out of sight.
"Well this is something," Ron observed.
"Hello? Is that you?" A female voice said from the up the lane. A rotund middle-aged woman came bustling towards them. "Yes it is! It is such an honour to meet you Ms. Granger, Mr. Weasley. I could hardly believe it when I received your owl yesterday Ms. Granger."
"It's nice to meet you as well Mrs. Seldin," Hermione replied. "Ron, this is Sarona Seldin, the real estate agent."
Your uncle held out his hand. "How d'you do Mrs. Seldin?"
"Like I said, it is such an honour to meet your Mr. Weasley," Mrs. Seldon said as she pumped Ron's hand.
"The pleasure's all mine I'm sure."
"Oh but you haven't come all this way to just hear an old woman gush like a schoolgirl. Let's look over the property shall we?" She turned and lead your aunt and uncle up the winding lane. "Now Cotswallace Hall was constructed in the Eighteenth Century by the first Lord Cotswallace, a wizard of smal renown who also happened to be a very distant relative of the Crown. The house was held by the family until the recent troubles when the last surviving member was killed by Rudolphus Lestrange. Since then it's sat unattended while the Wizengamoot sorted out the estate. You two are the first to see it. Technically it's not even on the market yet."
Ron glanced over at Hermione who shrugged. "I pulled some strings," she explained.
When the house came into view Ron pulled up to a stop. "This is the place?" He asked as he stared at the large, slightly ramshackle building.
"Yes, this is Cotswallace Hall, it's not as grand as some of the more famous old Wizarding manors," Mrs. Seldon said. "But it's got five bedrooms, a library, sitting room, kitchen, dining room, attached garage, green house, and plenty of garden space."
Ron took in the simple, white plaster walls. "I think it's bloody brilliant."
"Well why don't we examine the inside?" Mrs. Seldin lead them into the house and your uncle gazed fondly at the unassuming, homey construction within the house. "The last Lord Cotswallace was a little mad, so he had the house retrofitted with Muggle conveniences, which only work about half the time," Mrs. Seldin explained as she walked them through the first floor of the house.
Your uncle reached up and appreciatively stroked one of the exposed wood beams in the ceiling of the dining room. "Good construction this," he noted. "And the room's plenty big too," he said to Hermione.
"Stop gawking Ron," Hermione hissed at him as they examined the large fireplace in the kitchen. "We're in a negotiation here."
"Sorry, it's just this place," Ron replied.
"This way dears," Mrs. Seldin called out. "I want to show you the library."
Ron chuckled when he saw Hermione's eyes widen as they entered the library and she took in the empty floor to ceiling bookshelves that lined the room. "Mrs. Seldin, I think we can skip looking at the bedrooms for now."
"Oh, so you're interested in buying?"
Ron nodded. "Very much so. What, er, is the asking price?"
"Very reasonable for a house like this, just 200,000 Galleons."
Your aunt says at that moment your Uncle Ron looked like he'd been hit by a Bludger. "Excuse me, did you just say 200,000 Galleons?"
"I know, quite a steal."
"If you'll just pardon us a second," Hermione said. "I need to talk this over in private with my fiance." Mrs. Seldin nodded and walked out of the library. To be extra safe Hermione cast a Muffliato around Ron and herself. "What are you thinking Ron?"
"I'm thinking that's more money than my dad's earned in his entire life."
"But?"
"Hermione, we have to buy this house."
"Are you mad Ron? It's far too expensive."
"We have our reward money from the Ministry, and the rest of our savings..."
"That still doesn't come close to 200,000 Galleons. Plus, if we spend the money on the house what will we do about the cost of the wedding?"
"Hermione, we are buying this house. I know you want to as well. We can sort out the other details later." Ron dismissed the Muffliato and waved the real estate agent over. "Mrs. Seldin, my fiance and I are very interested in buying this property, we're just a little concerned about the price. Isn't there anyway you can shave some Galleons off?"
Mrs. Seldin laughted. "Oh no dears, this is as cheap as I can go. But what I can do is take whatever you have for the down payment. I'm sure Gringotts would happily loan the rest to the saviours of the wizarding world."
Ron glanced over at Hermione and chuckled nervously. "It's been four years, I'm sure they've gotten over it."
"We here at Gringotts have been waiting a long time for this day," the goblin seated across from your aunt and uncle said. "Gringotts Bank takes the security of its clients possessions seriously, and the two of you, along with Mr. Potter, jeopardised that." Your aunt tightened her grip on Ron's hand to keep him quiet. "That being said you did a great service to us too, and not just by pointing out flaws in our security measures. Gringotts will lend you the money you are asking for, but under our terms." He slid a piece of paper across the desk.
Ron picked up the paper and his face turned read. "This is highway robbery!" he spluttered.
Hermione leaned over and glanced at the paper. "That's usurious!" she exclaimed. "And highly illegal," she added, her eyes narrowing. "Do you really want to answer questions from the Prophet about excessive loan rates"
The goblin banker huffed and snatched the paper out of Ron's hands. "Very well, this is my final offer." He scratched out the figure the with a quill and tossed the paper back and them.
Hermione looked down at the paper, then to Ron. "I don't know, that's still awfully high."
"We can make it work," Ron replied. "I'm a Weasley, we're masters of stretching a Galleon."
Hermione sighed, "Alright fine, it is a beautiful house. But it does mean we can forget about finding our own location for the wedding." She picked up a quill and signed her name on the loan.
"If push comes to shove we can always have the wedding at the house," Ron pointed out. "And I can maybe do some work on the side for George to bring in a few extra Galleons," Ron added as he put his own name on the parchment before handing it back to the goblin.
Kids, sometimes it's the little decisions that make the biggest impact. If your aunt had decided to tour Cotswallace Hall on a Monday instead of a Saturday, they would have missed the chance to buy it. If they didn't have all the debt from the mortgage your Uncle Ron wouldn't have gone to work for Uncle George. And most importantly, when your aunt and uncle got home from touring Cotswallace Hall that night they wouldn't have found your mother and I snogging in the sitting room.
Author's Notes: Yes, this is just the broad strokes of the HIMYM episode Dowisetrepla, but it's one of the more appropriate episodes to borrow from. I actually did spend some time looking at actual real estate in that area to get a handle on price. Also, Hermione and Molly Weasley, yes that's me pulling from Lily and Mrs. Eriksen's relationship in HIMYM. But let's be honest, Molly is an absolute force of nature and I'd have to imagine that anybody marrying into that family would be a little intimidated by her, so it felt right to include it. Thanks again to everyone who's read. Until next week.
-sam, 2013-03-25
