DISCLAIMER: I do not own "Holes" except for the ones my dog made in the park today.


9

Dig.

The word began to repeat itself into my head as Mr. Dogface began telling each of us where to dig.

He pointed to me, snapped his fingers, and then pointed to the ground.

"Dig here. No more crazy outbursts. Ya hear?" He spat a seed shell onto the cracked ground.

...Pick up that damn seed shell and stuff it up your doggy ass.

"Yes, Mr. Sir."

Dig.

The pattern surfaced itself into my head again: shove, dig, lift, and throw.

I began automatically digging and started thinking about random things again.

Why do round pizzas come in square boxes?

Before I knew it, I had finished a foot and a half of my hole.

Hey! This random stuff really works!

Let's see: If you're name was Mr. Crunch and you joined the navy, could you eventually be called Captain Crunch?

I seemed to have been thinking about that for a long time because when I looked down I had finished more than two feet of the hole!

I shall give Randomness a cookie and a golden star.

Why do people call it an ATM machine, if they're really saying Automated Teller Machine Machine?"

I sadly got bored of random things, and my mind went back to the monotonous digging pattern: shove, dig, lift, throw.

The other boys seemed to have the rhythmic digging pattern in their heads also.

Caveman was digging a hole beside me. He seemed to have been digging at the same small spot several times now. He bent over his hole and disappeared for a moment. Then he stood up again, with something in his hand.

"Hey, Cavie, what'cha got there?" I asked loudly enough for everyone to hear.

He held it up for me to see: It was some sort of tubey thingy.

Everyone gathered around and observed the tiny trinket.

"It's a shotgun shell."

"Naw, man, it's too skinny to be a shotgun shell."

There was a heart and the initials "K.B." engraved on it.

Bossy X-Ray seemed to have made a "deal" with Caveman. X took the tubie-thinger and showed it to Safari Man the next day. X ended up taking the day off instead of poor old Caveman.

This guy has more of a social problem that I do.

I felt sorry for the fat tub of nothing but 'looser'. Really. For God's sakes!

Something must be done! Exterminate X! Exterminate him, I say!

I walked up to him as he walked past everyone with his head down.

"Take it back from him."

"What?" He looked up at my face, trying to smile.

"Rip the tube back from the fucking shitface." I nodded happily.

DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO STOP FUCKING SWEAR?

"Naw! I can't do that! He's the boss! He's…he's X-Ray! Plus they gave me a nickname already…he's counting on me."

Pathetic.

"WHAT?" Caveman blinked several times, a look of shock and awe at me.

"Did I say that out loud?"

"I think so, lil' mouse."

Quick! Think of something random!

"Hey, isn't that weird that "K.B." stands for Kate Barlow-oh yeah, you don't know who she-"

His curly locks swished as his head abruptly turned my direction.

"Kissin' Kate Barlow?" He gasped.

It was my turn to blink continuously. "Yes."

"Hey, isn't your last name Barlow?" he said, squinting at me.

Oh my God...

"Yes."

(silence)

Holy shit.

A sudden explosion of someone's voice in the distance made us both jump out of our skins.

"OH MY FUCKING G-OH SHIT...OH MY GOD...SOMEBODY! SOMEBODY! COME QUICK! SOMETHIN'S WRONG WITH ZIGZAG!"

We both exchanged frightened glances and ran towards the sound of increasing panic.