Chapter 7

CPOV

Closing her door behind me I try to decipher what that look on her face was. I'm probably crazy or reading too much into it but there's something there, there has to be otherwise why would I be so drawn to her. I need to find a way to see her again.

No matter how many times I go over it in my head I can't get over that look. If I knew that would be the last time I saw her I would have stayed in the room and made her stubborn ass talk to me.

It has been three days and she is all I can think of.

I feel like such an idiot. She was a patient, why am I letting it bother me so much. Patients come in, I stitch them up and they go on their merry way.

I don't know what I am feeling but my hundred pound heavy punching bag is on the receiving end of it.

Each punch releases a little bit of the tension. It is like high school all over again. I hate feeling out of control. I don't know how long I have been working out but I am in the zone, the sweat dripping off me.

I hear, "Christian! Stop!" Just as my glove connects with Elliot's shoulder.

"Shit, El, sorry! When did you get here?"

Elliot is my older brother. He was always the jokester growing up. He is incredibly smart and dreamed about being an architect as a kid. He loved to build things. He could make just about anything with Lego's or blocks.

After everything happened in high school he decided that he would rather be a lawyer and help the victims. Be a good lawyer like dad not like those ambulance chasers you hear about. Dad was so happy when Elliot followed in his footsteps and then joined his law firm. Unlike myself Elliot stayed home and attended Sydney University and then the College of Law to obtain his degree and practicing certificate. I guess I'm lucky in that the human body works the same everywhere in the world allowing me the opportunity to study overseas.

"I got here about ten minutes ago. I thought you were almost done with how you were attacking that bag. I called your name about a dozen times. Whose ass are you kicking and do you need help?"

Elliot has always been there to protect me and make me laugh.

"Thanks, El, and I am kicking my own ass." I mumble.

"You're what?" He asks confused.

"It involves a patient. I was so stupid." I shake my head at him.

"Give me five bucks." He says sticking out his hand.

"What for?"

"Just do it, dickhead."

Using my teeth I pull my right glove off then grab my wallet out of my bag which I dumped in the corner of the room. I pull a twenty out and hand it to him without knowing why.

"Thanks now I am officially on retainer. So what happened? You have malpractice insurance and I will help you get through this."

"I appreciate the vote of confidence." I punch him again but this time on purpose and not as hard. "Give me back my money." I yank the note out of his hand and take the other glove off as we walk out of my home gym and into the kitchen. I toss a water bottle to Elliot and drink mine in one pull. "Let me take a shower and change. I will be out in a minute and then we can talk. Do you have time?"

"You know I always have time for family. Now get your ass in the shower, you stink."

While showering I try to decide how much to tell Elliot. He is my best friend, lawyer or not he will always have my back just like I will have his. After a far too short shower I change into a navy Tom Ford Merino Wool V-Neck Sweater and a pair of Saint Laurent jeans in coated black denim. I walk into my kitchen to find Elliot and Mia both raiding my kitchen.

"Hi, Mia, not that I don't love you but what are you doing here? I thought you were on tonight."

"Thanks for making me feel welcomed, I love you too!" She throws an air kiss my way.

"Sorry, bad day, I just wasn't expecting you."

"El called me as I was walking out of the hospital. I just got out of surgery on a premie. It takes less than ten minutes to walk here and I live next door. Walking one door away isn't a big deal."

I live in a restored grand Victorian. It has three levels. A formal room with dual fireplaces, marble kitchen, a private courtyard, kauri floorboards, balconies, private entertainers rooftop, dual master bedrooms and less than a quarter mile from the hospital. Best of all Elliot purchased the restored house on my right and Mia has the home on the left. Each house has been restored and designed in its own way.

"What did you do, Christian?" Thanks El, I was really hoping he would have forgotten.

"Is this about the VIP patient that you were pictured with?" Mia rubs her hands together and pulls up a bar stool like she is about to hear some juicy details.

"What patient, is she hot? How do you already know about this?" Elliot hands everyone a beer and looks upset that he seems to be out of the loop.

"You guys can't tell mom or dad, especially mom."

After they nod in agreement I explain how we met at the gala and everything that transpired over the past two weeks up to when I left Ana's room.

"So what's the problem? You like her, she's single, she doesn't think you are the ass from the gala even if it is sometimes true."

I grab an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter and toss it at Elliot's head. He grabs it without missing a beat.

"Thanks. I'm starving."

After taking a bite he starts speaking with his mouth full. Moments like this it is hard to believe that we were raised by the same parents. At least he hides his inner pig while at the office.

"Christian it is the truth and you know it. If you are so upset about how things ended when you left her room why don't you go and speak with her? She isn't dead or in a coma right?"

I know he is just making a smart ass comment but the thought alone gives me chills. He has no idea what her security and the hospital's security has had to deal with. Everything that she has gone through over the past few weeks because of the paparazzi, the threats that have come into the hospital, the people sneaking onto the floor trying to get into her room and all the other crazy people. I thought it was all overkill at the beginning but now I know differently.

"Christian, I'm sorry, I didn't know she had passed away." I don't know what expression he sees on my face to come to that conclusion.

"What? She died? I didn't hear that from the gossiprazzi." Mia jumps in.

"No! Anastasia is very much alive. Mia what the hell is the gossiprazzi?"

"The gossiprazzi means a group of people that like to gossip and spread rumors like wildfire. Each department has one. I wouldn't be surprised if they had weekly meetings. Peds lacks drama most of the time other than the occasional doc knockers. They usually talk about what's going on with the other floors. Anyways I don't spread any gossip but I can't deny I love to listen in."

"I guess I don't pay enough attention to the nurses. Do they talk about me?" I am strangely interested.

"Yes, but usually only until the person realizes I am your sister. We can discuss the gossip girls later. What happened to Anastasia Steele? You made it sound like she was dead."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I was just lost in my head."

"The truth is Anastasia and I had become close while she was in the hospital. Nothing happened but I could feel the connection. At least that is what I thought. The past few days have been horrible. I had an amazing surgery that didn't even get me excited. I have never really had any feelings for who I fucked. Sorry, Mia but you know it is true. Anyways one of the nurses took a picture of Ana and I in her room. We were just talking but I was sitting on the end of her bed. Her stealthy IT team discovered who it was and the nurse was fired. Anastasia asked why Leila, the nurse, would do that? I should have just admitted that I had been with Leila but honestly I don't really remember it."

"Christian that is horrible." Mia is appalled but if I want to fix this I need to get this out.

"Mia, they helped scratch an itch. I never lead them on. There was no romance, no hearts and flowers, no wining or dining. It was usually at their place or an empty on call room. I can't change what I have done. We need to find a way to get Ana to speak to me."

"I'm still confused bro, why isn't she at the hospital?"

"Elliot, she was discharged the next morning. I didn't even get to say goodbye to her."

"I thought you were her doctor, who signed off on her release?" Mia is as confused as I am.

"I don't know. I have been locked out of her chart."

"Christian, you know as well as I do that only one person can lock you out of a patient's chart and that is the chief of staff. Why haven't you spoken to mom?"

"She already gave me a hard time about the picture. Would you like to tell mom, the chief of staff that you like a patient?"

"No I wouldn't. Let me try something."

Mia pulls out her hospital issued iPad and types in her password.

"Shit, sorry, Christian apparently I am locked out too. You are going to have to get over her or talk to mom."

The last thing I want to do is go tell my mom why Anastasia is upset with me. I need to think of something else.

"Why don't you ask Ros? You said she did the heart procedure. Maybe she still has access."

"Elliot you are a genius. I will text her now."

CG: When does your shift end?

RB: I just got off. On my way to The Shady Pines Saloon. It is a secret bar down Darlinghurst and Oxford St. Hidden behind an alleyway. No sign posted, only a blank white door.

CG: Meet you there.

"Ros is at a secret bar down the street. Have you two heard anything about it?"

"No but I am always working. I would love to have a few drinks. I am off tomorrow. The little humans will be fine without me for one day." Mia states.

"I'm off too. Are you on call Christian?" I confirm that I'm not.

When was the last time we were all off on the same day? Maybe a few drinks will help clear my head and I can also speak with Ros.

"I'm going to change. I will be ready in fifteen minutes." With that Mia rushes out of my house to change.

"You know we should just add internal doors so we can walk into each other's homes. I am going to change too. I will be back in five minutes." Elliot tells me getting up.

I just got dressed so shoes, phone and wallet are all I need and I am ready to go. I'm actually excited to go out. I haven't really spent much time with my siblings with how busy we all are. Living next to each other hasn't helped like we thought it would. We really should plan to do things more often together.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Elliot startles me when he returns.

"I was just thinking that we should plan to get together more often. Go out to dinner, catch a game, footy is over but basketball season just started, we could go to a Kings match, go hiking and rock climbing like we did as kids with dad."

"You're right, I feel like the only time we see each other is in passing on our way to and from work. At least you see mom and Mia at the hospital."

"I actually don't see Mia much. Once in awhile we have a surgery together but even then it is about the patient. Mom and I will have lunch every now and again but that is usually so she can try and convince me to appear on another TV show. Great PR for the hospital she says." I roll my eyes.

"I see dad at the firm but our conversations are usually about work. We will talk about a match on television or some cases but it is the same for us. You would think working with our parents would mean that we actually see them. Maybe we can invite them on a few of the treks. Mom has always loved The Royal Botanical Gardens. Remember when we went snorkeling to The Great Barrier Reef as kids. I would love to do that again."

"Yeah, that would be so much fun. We should definitely do it. I have always wanted to go whale watching, maybe we do that? Perhaps a wine tasting tour in the Hunter. Maybe we try coordinate a long weekend off in winter and we all take a trip to New Zealand for some skiing, I haven't gone in years."

Mia has returned and is bouncing with enthusiasm.

"I'm game, let's do it. We should plan everything later, for now let's go find out what this secret bar is."

The three of us walk to The Shady Pines Saloon. The place is difficult to find but it is packed. We order drinks and find Ros at her table with a few people I recognize from the hospital. After a few rounds of drinks and light conversation I finally have a moment alone with Ros.

"Ros, I need to ask you a question. I have been trying to get a hold of you for days."

"What's wrong? I had a heart transplant and two other surgeries. You seem stressed." She says as she plays with the straw of her drink.

I guess that explains why I haven't seen her. I should have just checked the OR schedules. I need answers though.

"What happened with Ms. Steele? I came to check on her and she had been discharged." I am trying to stay calm but I can't help feeling upset. It is not like it is the first time another doctor has discharged one of my patients. Granted usually I am not on at the time. She was bound to be discharged, it's not logical to be upset, but I can't help it.

"Christian what are you going on about? I thought you would be happy."

"Huh, why would I be happy about that?" I am confused.

"Christian, the chief of staff asked to sign off on Ms. Steele's discharge. There was no reason to keep her in the hospital. Plus since I signed off on it I am officially her doctor on record. You are free to ask her out. Don't give me that look. I know you like her. You might be able to fool everyone else but I have seen how you act when you're falling in love."

"I am not in love!" I can't be.

"I'm afraid you doth protest too much!" Ros is laughing hysterically.

"Fuck you, Ros!"

I take a large gulp of my beer.

"Christian, relax. Remember I saw you in love when we were at Harvard. This is so much different. If you can get out of your own way you might find a way to be happy for more than a few minutes in an on call room."

Is that really possible?

"Ms. Steele asked your mom to be released. I was asked to sign off. Nothing malicious about it. Ms. Steele and your mother were talking and laughing when I entered. You might want to talk about it with her. For tonight have a few beers and try to relax."

"Sorry, Ros, you're right. Let me buy you a beer. Maybe you can help me figure out what I need to do." I need to find a way to get Ana to listen to me.

"No problem, I am great with the ladies."

With that Ros starts laughing again. We make our way to the bar and she orders a round of shots. We spend a few hours drinking and talking with Elliot and Mia. Between the drinks, karaoke and playing pool it was a very relaxing night. For once I wasn't concerned about the next woman I could pick up. I even sent a few that offered to buy me a drink over down Elliot and Ros' way. I might not be looking for the next lay but I am not stupid enough to turn away a hottie that is looking for a fun night. Elliot and Ros definitely appreciated it.

XXXXX

Ros and Mia helped me work through my plan. This might not work but last night as the bourbon and beer flowed throughout my veins it seemed like an amazing idea. It is not like I have anything to lose.

I woke up with a slight hangover this morning. It was ten fifty so technically still morning. After a long hot shower I no longer smell like I fell asleep in the street. I have made the necessary calls and everything is set for this evening.

I am meeting my mom for lunch at one. I am hoping that she might have some insight on what transpired before Ms. Steele's discharge. We arrive simultaneously at the Tropicana Cafe. It is one of her favorite places near the hospital.

"Hi mom, how has your day been?" I kiss her cheek in greeting.

"Hello dear, I've had a busy day but I'm doing well. How are you?"

I know I can talk to her about anything but this feels so strange.

"I'm doing alright. I was wondering if you could tell me why Ms. Steele was discharged early."

A small smirk lifts the sides of her smile but she quickly conceals it.

"She was ready to leave and there was no medical reason to keep her. Did we miss something? I didn't see anything in her labs, tests or medical file to justify keeping her longer."

"Mom I don't know what to say. I could lie to you and say that she needed to be observed longer but I won't do that. I think I really like her and before you get upset and spout the rules against patients and doctors being together, nothing has happened. It was just a feeling, a connection. I can't explain it."

The small smirk that she has been hiding has morphed into a full face splitting smile. If I didn't know better I would expect her face to become painted white, wearing a purple suit and she would have the Joker's face and his cackle. What am I missing?

"Do you want to tell me what transpired between you and Ms. Steele that made her want to request being discharged a day early? She was quite adamant."

"She was upset about what happened with Leila. Not that I blame her. She has the right to her privacy."

"Is that all?" The look she gives me is the same one I got as a child when I did something wrong and she already knew about it. Oh fuck!

"So last year I had a very, very short fling with Ms. Williams. It was actually before she started at the hospital and it was only three times, I mean three dates. We met at the bar down the street. I was forthcoming that I had no desire to start a relationship. Nothing happened after she started."

The look I am getting has morphed into the that's bullshit look.

"Mom I don't claim to be an angel. Once she started nothing happened. All I knew was that she was a nurse. Come on, I feel like I am going to confession here. What else do you want me to say?"

"I don't know if you realize this but Anastasia and I are actually very good friends. We have worked on many projects. Before she started to date Cameron I had hoped to introduce the two of you."

"Really?" I had no idea.

"Don't get your hopes up son. I didn't do it because I have known about your trysts with much of the female staff. I also know that not a single lady has complained to Human Resources. I was hoping that you would grow up. I could be wrong but I believe you have spent more time with Ms. Steele than any other patient. I could see you were getting closer to her. She mentioned the iPad you gave her. However she wasn't going to go from one philanderer to another. I didn't think you wanted your mom or the chief of staff in your love life so I told her to give it time and be patient."

Well shit. What do I say? I have never cheated but that is easy when you have only had one real relationship.

"I could never cheat!" I declare.

"Christian I know that but that isn't really my place. If I was you I would try talking to her."

"How am I supposed to do that when she has been discharged?"

"Well it so happens that I spoke to Anastasia this morning. Her incision has been bothering her. I am pretty confident that she just requires silver sulfadiazine and possibly a round of antibiotics. I told her I would come over this evening and check on it and we were going to talk over dinner. She didn't want to deal with the paparazzi so soon, not that I blame her. Unfortunately I have a last minute meeting that I can't get out of. I need you to go in my stead."

"Oh!"

"Try using a few more words when you speak with Anastasia. Make sure you are honest. This is her address."

She hands me a piece of paper with an address and some codes. She had this in her pocket this entire time.

"How did you know?"

"Christian I'm your mother. You would be surprised how much I know. I have to go."

I rise out of my seat to give mom a hug.

"Thank you mom."

"No problem dear boy. Oh yeah, I told her I was going to bring dinner. It might be nice if you made one of your grandmother's recipes that everyone raves about. You don't want to blow your one shot."

With that my mom walks back to the hospital and I realize that she just played me. She knew what I wanted all along. The entire lunch is making more sense.

Shit I need to get to the grocery store. Mom's right, I can't blow this.