A/N I do not own the rights to these characters.

A/N As I said before the last chapter, that was just a little Thanksgiving interlude. This chapter will pick up before Danny was released from the hospital, but just by a bit. I wanted to post the Thanksgiving fluff chapter on Thanksgiving day.

A/N Confession: Stories that are posted and never completed drive me crazy. Therefore, I will always make sure that I have finished writing a story before I start posting. I rushed to finish this one so that I could post it before the ep itself. But, then I wasn't happy with the rushed ending, especially after so many wonderful reviews. So, I added this chapter and another one after it. I'm still writing more after that. In other words, this story is no longer completely written. I'll try to post frequently and not leave you hanging too long between chapters. If the delays get to be too much for you, I can always edit the quick finish I already have written and post that.

A/N Thanks to Wenwalke for her review of part of this chapter.

H50 H50 H50

That night Steve laid awake for hours thinking about all that had transpired that day. At a breakfast meeting with Danny they had discussed the information that Danny and Eric and the team had obtained so far. It had been nice to have some time together since Danny's undercover work had made them keep their distance for the most part over the past few weeks.

After breakfast Danny had headed to the University and Steve had gone to the office. Not even an hour later Steve and Lou were on their way to the campus when they got the call from HPD dispatch saying they had received an officer down call naming Detective Williams. It had been one of the worst phone calls of his life. The worst, of course, was when he had heard his father's murder over the phone line. The call today was tied for second with the time Danny's girlfriend had called him to tell him that Danny had been attacked by her ex and was fighting for his life in an ER with a knife wound to his abdomen. Both times, the fear for Danny's life had stolen his breath away. Danny called Steve a trouble magnet but the man was fairly well magnetized himself it seemed. Steve's thoughts wandered to the sight of the knife buried to the hilt in his partner's bare back and he pulled them away.

The phone call had shaken him. In the five years they had known each other, Danny had gone from being a highly decorated and respected haole detective from the mainland who Steve needed to help him find his father's killer to being the most important person in his life. Danny grounded him in a way nobody else could. Danny challenged him in a way nobody else did. As Lou had said earlier that day, Danny had a hold of his heart in a way nobody else ever had.

He still wasn't sure how that happened. They argued constantly. They couldn't even get out of "partner" therapy. Steve recalled a phone call with Danny the day before. While they were on the call, a student had complimented Danny on his lecture. Steve's caustic reply ("I'm sure by tomorrow you'll be making their lives just as miserable as you make mine.") belied the pride he had felt at his partner's accomplishment in the classroom. Why had he said that? He knew Danny didn't take it to heart, but what if he had? Danny was sensitive, despite his tough Jersey guy exterior and superior capacity for street talk. Why did they do that to each other? It was most definitely a two way street. He still had no answer to that question. Steve's thoughts again wandered to the sight of the knife buried to the hilt in his partner's bare back and again he pulled them away.

His thoughts went back again to receiving that phone call. Poor Lou had held on for dear life as Steve maneuvered his big pick up through the streets. He couldn't get to his partner fast enough. He wanted, no needed, to be there for his partner. And if the worst happened… No! No! He would not allow himself to go there. It was a possibility that he simply could not face. Life without Danny, Five-O without Danny, was something that he simply could not fathom. But now he had to consider the possibility. Danny could not use his arm, might not ever be able to use it again. Once more Steve's thoughts wandered to the sight of the knife buried in his partner's back and he forced them away again.

What would it be like to work without Danny at his side? What would it be like to work with a different partner? Sure he had partnered at times with each of the other Five-O members but never for long, never knowing that Danny wasn't coming back. The closest he had come to that was the week that Danny was in that god-forsaken prison in Colombia. The hellish prospect of Danny never making it out of there had loomed over him like a specter but at least he was able to do something to try and change that situation and bring him home. Now he was unable to do anything to change Danny's fate.

Steve's breath caught in his throat as he summoned up the memory of entering that classroom. Seeing Danny there on that floor in a pool of blood was quite possibly the worst thing he had ever seen. No, he realized quickly, the sight of the knife buried to the hilt in his partner's bare back was far and away the worst thing he had ever seen. It had haunted him and plagued him all day, flashing like a horror movie unbidden.

Seeing his best friend on the floor of that classroom, enduring excruciating pain, unable to move or even breathe without hurting more was definitely a sight he never wished to see again. He was thankful that Eric had found him. He handled the situation very well, looking out for his uncle as well as the crime scene.

Steve felt good that he had been able to help ease Danny's worry and pain a bit just by his mere presence and that he had therefore been allowed to stay with him until they rolled him into surgery – with that knife still in his back, the image haunting him once again. When Steve finally did manage to sleep, the image haunted his dreams.

On the other side of the city, Danny dozed in a darkened hospital room. With the help of painkillers and the sedative the doctor had put in his iv, Danny was able to sleep for several uninterrupted hours before a nightmare interrupted the peace. In bits and pieces he saw his day play over again before his mind's eye.

He saw the breakfast with Steve where they laughed and enjoyed each other's company, although each said a few things to the other that he didn't really mean. He saw Eric as he got out of Danny's car a couple blocks from campus so they wouldn't be seen with each other and blow their cover.

He saw the classroom, remembering the feeling when he had entered that day that he actually enjoyed this teaching thing. He heard the sound of the door open and in his dream he asked himself why he hadn't turned around at the sound of it.

He saw the glint of metal and then felt the pain, the sheer unadulterated pain ripping through his shoulder and his back, taking his breath away. He startled and jumped; bolting awake.

His heart was pounding in his chest, his breaths were coming fast, pulling and tugging on the stitched up muscles in his back. The jolt had made him move, stressing the stitches in the layer of muscle that controlled the movement of his trunk. Tears came unbidden to his eyes, as the throbbing seemed to surround and fill his entire upper body. Every breath brought a shot of pain.

He didn't know how long it took for him to slow his breathing and heart rate down to reasonable levels. He was still very uncomfortable but trying to move brought increased pain. Although he was loath to do it, he pressed the pain pump, and waited for the painkiller to move through his body before he attempted to shift to a more comfortable position. He couldn't find one and spent the rest of the night flickering back and forth between short naps and wakeful bouts of misery, refusing to use the pain pump again.

Steve rose at his usual time and set about his personalized 'three s' morning routine – swim, shower, shave. It wasn't the best night's sleep he ever had but it most certainly wasn't the worst either. Finishing up breakfast and a mug of hot steaming coffee, he placed the dishes in the sink, picked up his keys and headed out the door.

Danny was awakened from a fitful sleep by an exuberant young nurse asking him if he had slept well. She set about taking his blood pressure, listening to his heart and lungs and much to Danny's consternation, checking his "output" from the humiliating catheter. Danny was thrilled when she advised him that his numbers were good and she would now be removing the offending piece of medical equipment. She closed the curtain and pulled on a pair of latex gloves. Mission accomplished she warned him on her way out the door that he should not attempt to walk to the bathroom unaided. He dozed off and on again until his breakfast was brought in.

Steve came in to see Danny before heading in to the office. Walking into the room he saw Danny sitting up in the bed. He had lost a lot of blood the day before and he still looked too pale. They were no longer giving him blood but the saline drip would help replace the fluids he lost. There was a second bag, this one with painkillers. A third held antibiotics to forestall an infection setting into either wound.

A half empty bowl of oatmeal, covered in cinnamon, was sitting on the table that extended over the bed. Hospital food had a bad reputation but this actually looked pretty good to Steve. The back of the bed was elevated but leaning forward over the table was impossible with the shape his back was in right now so Danny had to bring the food all the way to his mouth as he leaned back against the pillow. It was a tedious way to eat but, in time, it got the job done.

"Looks like you made pretty good work of that oatmeal," Steve said, taking in Danny's pale and drawn features. He looked like he hadn't slept well the night before. It was understandable considering the amount of damage done to his back.

"Isn't it impressive how I managed to feed myself?" Danny retorted with a sigh of self-deprecation. He put the spoon down into the bowl and moved the table away. He hadn't eaten a thing since the previous morning's breakfast with Steve but he still couldn't finish it.

"Actually yes, with that iv stuck in the back of your hand."

"Yeah? Right? Why didn't they put it in the right hand? No chance of tearing it out of there." Not when he couldn't move a muscle anyway. "Morons."

That prompted the obvious question. "Still nothing?"

Danny looked up at Steve and then looked down again. He didn't have to say anything. They were often able to communicate with just a look.

"Give it time, Danny."

Danny gave him a silent nod as he held his shoulder and shifted uncomfortably in the bed.

"How ya feeling?" Steve asked the obligatory question, even though it seemed kind of stupid.

"Peachy," was the unsurprising response.

"Understandable." More information passed between them silently than with words. Both knew the other hadn't slept well.

"Grace wants to come by this afternoon," Danny said. "You think maybe one of you could pick her up from school and bring her here?"

"You don't even have to ask that Danno. We'll make sure she gets here." He knew the way things were between Danny and Rachel since her revelation about Charlie. He wasn't even sure if Rachel would bring Grace if nobody else could, but it was definitely better this way.

Danny smiled broadly. "Thanks."

Steve now moved to the window and opened the curtains. "It's another beautiful day in paradise."

"Feel more in the mood for a crisp, cool day, like the Novembers I remember," Danny said as he gazed out the window. The sky was blue and clear and the warmth of the sun found it's way through the closed window - just like every other day in Hawaii. Sometimes Danny found it monotonous.

"You like the cold weather, huh?" Steve sat down on the side of the bed, facing Danny, shoving at his leg to give himself room. Invading personal space was not a problem for the two friends.

Steve had never asked a question like that before. Never actually showed much interest in Danny's life in New Jersey outside of his family. Danny smiled at the question though. Steve was right. "What planet have you been living on? I most certainly do. Guess I won't be snowboarding this winter, though," he lamented.

"You snowboard?" Six years of friendship with this man and he was still learning new things about him.

"Of course I do, in New Jersey that is. No place to do it on this thermodynamically challenged chunk of rock."

"Then why was it so hard to learn to surf?"

"It wasn't difficult to learn to surf. It's getting in the ocean that's the problem."

Steve nodded, remembering Danny's story of watching his friend drown in the ocean, unable to save him. As far as he knew, Danny had not shared that story with any of the others. He felt humbled by that. Since Danny had revealed that tragic part of his past to him, anytime they went to the beach or anytime they even discussed going, Steve noticed the look in Danny's eyes. His partner's abhorrence of the ocean was no longer a joking matter for him.

"Billy," Steve said and he suddenly realized that although he had thought he understood Danny's feelings and fears about the loss of his best friend, he never really did. Not until now. Not until he saw that knife in his own best friend's bare back and just the thought of what that knife might have taken away from him nearly sent him face first into the floor.

Now Steve understood in a way he never had before. As a young boy, Danny had watched his best friend go under the water as he tried to help Danny who was struggling in the surf. While still fighting to stay above water himself, Danny had tried to find Billy in the water. Failing that, Danny had to wait a full day not knowing what had happened to his best friend. Had to answer the seemingly endless questions that were thrown at him, by his parents, his siblings, the lifeguards, the police, Billy's parents, and who knows who else. Danny had to wait through that day and through a night that must have seemed an eternity before his best friend's body was found washed up on shore two miles down the beach from where he went under. He had to return home and face other friends, other classmates, answer their questions, see the finger pointing and hear the talking behind his back. He had to don a suit and stand by his parents' side at his best friends funeral. He had to go on without his best friend, carrying the burden of survivor's guilt wherever he went.

All of this while Danny was still a child and Steve could barely handle the sight of that knife in Danny's back as a highly trained, very experienced Navy SEAL adult.

"I get it now," Steve added.

Danny looked a query at him.

"I get it now. Billy Selway. I get it."

"What is there to get?" Danny was missing something.

"You carry him around with you all the time. The pain, the grief, it's always there."

Pulling his eyes away from Steve's, Danny swallowed hard. He really, really didn't need to be thinking about Billy now, how he'd lost him, how it had been his fault or at least he felt like it was. "He was my best friend," Danny said emphatically, not knowing why Steve was bringing this all up now. "And he's been dead nearly 30 years. Dead because of me." Danny stopped and worked to control his breathing because breathing hurt, his voice catching in his throat. "Why are you bringing him up now?"

Steve looked Danny directly in the eye. He was sorry for the pain he was causing Danny right now, sorry for opening this old wound, but he was ready to spill his heart out. "Because I know exactly how you feel now. I thought I did before. But yesterday, in that ER…"

"Good morning," the doctor said as he entered for his morning rounds, oblivious to having interrupted an important moment.

Steve and Danny's eyes were locked. They had to have this conversation. It was so very important to Steve and if it was important to Steve then it was equally important to Danny. What happened in that ER was so uncharacteristic of Steve that it unnerved Danny but now, at just the moment that Steve was ready to talk, Danny's doctor had to walk in.

They stayed like that, gazes locked, for long moments as the doctor spoke words neither one of them heard. The desperation both men felt at losing this opportunity was palpable.

Finally, Steve pulled his eyes away from Danny's and stood to leave. The doctor had stolen the moment.

"You don't have to go," Danny nearly shouted, moving to sit up again before gasping, grunting, turning pale and falling back onto the pillows yet again. How many times would he do this before he remembered that he had to be still? The doctor put his fingers on his wrist and took his pulse, comparing it to the information on his chart.

"Easy there," the doctor said, as he pressed his hand against Danny's chest as a reminder for him to stay still.

"I need to get to work." Steve no longer felt capable of having the conversation, no longer capable of facing that moment again.

"You're the boss, Steve. It can wait. Just stay, please. Please?" The doctor was opening Danny's hospital gown and taking off the bandages covering the stitches in the front of his shoulder. Danny shifted uncomfortably, his attention now divided between his best friend and the ministrations of the doctor.

"Chin and Kono are waiting." It was a pathetic excuse and Steve knew it, but he suddenly wanted to get away from having the conversation he was just about to have.

Danny set his jaw, his emotions now getting the best of him. He was in pain, getting poked and prodded, and he just couldn't deal with things the way he normally would. "Fine. Whatever. Goodbye Steven." The doctor finished removing the bandage. Danny hissed in pain as he probed the wound.

At Danny's words, Steve stopped in the doorway. At the hiss, he turned around. He couldn't leave his best friend like this. Danny was dealing with a severe injury, facing the prospect of a permanent disability. As much as he didn't want to face the subject of what happened in the ER again, he knew he needed to stay and be here for his friend at this moment. If Danny had the courage to get back in the ocean after what had happened to him as a kid, Steve could summon up the courage to get back in the room, even if it meant he'd have to talk about his emotions. He moved back over by the window and watched the doctor work.

Tbc -