Maybe it's because I have missed being with my husband, or maybe because I finally threw away my discomforts last night and had an incredible night with him. Whatever the reason, but I wake up happy, refreshed, and so damn horny. I glance down at Peeta, sleeping naked on top of the sheets, and I let out a little moan of desire. I lean down close and kiss his ear. My kisses become nibbles and nibbles become bites. I know he's waking up from the groans he's releasing. His eyes flutter open, hazy and slightly confused. I smile and rub my nose against his.
"Good morning."
"It definitely is," he says in that deep voice still laced with sleep. "How are you feeling?"
"Really wonderful." He flips onto his back and strokes my shoulder.
"I'm glad." I reach under the sheets and find him already hard. His eyes fly open and he looks surprised. I throw the sheets aside and lean down and take him into my mouth, and hear his head fall back onto the pillow. I love nothing more than making him come with my mouth but I need him inside me right now. I stroke him a few times before I fling my legs over his side, and climb on top of him. He leans up and I feel his chest against my back, his lips at my ear, and his hands reach around and squeeze my breasts. We switch positions a few times, figuring out what feels incredible and what doesn't work so much anymore. After he comes, he slinks down the bed and makes me come with his mouth, then thrusts into me again and makes me come again. The sex is always incredible but I have to say my favorite part of this is always cuddling next to him afterwards. He flips my hair off my shoulder and his lips paint my naked back. In the haste of our actions, he had pulled off my babydoll and flung it across the room.
"Good morning," he murmurs. I smile into the pillow.
"We said that already."
"I was just establishing how wonderful of a morning this is." I tilt my head and he leans up to kiss me.
"It is. Do you know what would make it even more wonderful?"
"Cheesebuns?"
"Close. Pancakes would be great." He grins and rubs noses with me.
"Ok, pancakes for mommy and baby." He fishes around for his underwear and kisses me hard on the mouth before he disappears. I collapse back on the bed for a moment, trying to catch my breath. Even years later, I still have to take a moment to wrap my head around this life I am living. A life with Peeta Mellark, as his wife and the mother of his child. Sometimes, I don't even believe it. Smiling, I grab a robe and tie it around my waist before heading downstairs to help him make breakfast.
I'm not much help in the kitchen so I am content in sitting at the table and staring at my half-naked baker whip up the best damn pancakes in Panem. I watch hungrily as he pours berries and syrup over my plate and sets it down in front of me. He kisses the top of my head and hands me a fork.
"Eat up. I need to get a shower and get to the bakery. Want me to call Annie to keep you company?"
"Annie and Cora are coming over later for our lamaze lesson."
"I wish I could do more of those with you," he says sadly.
"Peeta, it's ok. I understand things are busy at the bakery and I think it's great. I'll be giving birth in a hospital anyway so there's no need to worry." He sighs but kisses my cheek and forces a smile.
"Ok. Enjoy breakfast. I'll see you in a few minutes." I'm too busy stuffing my face and he chuckles as he disappears up the stairs. I'm still devouring the berries when he reappears, dressed in a clean khaki pants and a white fitted tee shirt. My eyes rake over his built form as he digs around in the fridge for some lunch. He comes back to the table and cups my chin for a quick kiss.
"Mmm. Katniss and berries," he whispers against my lips before his tongue travels across my lips completely and slipping between them into my mouth. I drop the fork to the table and grip his shirt as I pull him closer. He tears away and pants against my neck.
"I really have to go to work," he groans.
"I'll be waiting for you," I whisper in his ear. His eyes light up and he kisses me again before he grabs his keys and closes the door behind him. Sighing, I finish my breakfast, wash the dishes, and head upstairs to change.
An hour later, Annie and Cora are knocking on my door and I quickly gesture them inside. Haymitch waves from his porch and I wave back before I close the door. Cora isn't as huge as me but then again, she's done this before. When she suggested she and Annie help me with some breathing exercises, I decided I liked the idea, hoping it would make the birth easier. But I'm impatient and get fed up easily. Breathing like this makes me lightheaded and sometimes I get so irritated that I can't see my feet, that I give up and collapse on the couch. Annie stands over me, her hands on her hips.
"Katniss," she says patiently. "Come on, get up. This is to help you and the baby. You need to stop beating yourself up about everything."
"Maybe you should ask Peeta to do one of these classes with you," Cora suggests. I shake my head.
"He's so busy with the bakery, and he just opened a new location in District 1. He's just got no time."
"Honey you know he will make time for you," Annie says gently. "You and the baby are the most important things in the world to him."
"I know that. But he's happy when he's working. And the bakery is doing so well. I don't want to bother him." Both of them look unconvinced but they decide to drop it. Peeta is just as wonderful and attentive as ever but I know it's taking a toll on him. I don't want to think about how it will be when the baby comes. Besides, I can do these classes by myself. Annie has offered to be my midwife but I politely refused, telling her I will give birth in a hospital.
We make it through the month with one major scare. I was having really bad pains and Peeta drove me to the hospital, only for Doctor Mersa to tell us I was having Braxton-Hicks contractions, which is basically a fancy way of saying it was fake labor.
As April ends and May begins, we are several days past my due date with no sign of labor, and I am getting really scared. Peeta tries to calm me, saying she is like me and will do things in her own time but I can't shake the uneasy feeling that something will go wrong. Doctor Mersa tells us there are several ways for us to induce labor. Exercise, some kinds of foods, and even sex. Neither Peeta or I have much energy for sex and I feel so big and gross that I don't even want him to touch me. We walk around the district together, hand in hand, but I am tired of hearing neighbors say how big I am, or asking when I'm due, and I return to the house shortly after. Effie comes over and tries to cheer me up but Haymitch says I have a permanent scowl etched into my face now.
Johanna is staying with Annie while George and Aran are having a father-son weekend. Johanna's eyes widen when she enters the house.
"Good lord, brainless, are you carrying triplets in there?"
"Good to see you too, Jo," I mumble in irritation as she sits across from me. Peeta hands her a cup of tea and shakes his head.
"Don't bait her, Jo. She already feels terrible enough."
"Don't speak for me, Peeta, I can express my feelings on my own," I snap. Peeta's jaw tightens but he falls silent.
"What's with the sour faces, kids? Aren't you both supposed to be happy about impending parenthood?"
"It's been a rough week," Peeta says through gritted teeth.
"So rough for him," I can't help but fire back. "He's not even carrying this thing and he doesn't have to be the one to push it out in the end!"
"Well I am the one you yell and hit and scream at when you get fed up with it all," he shouts back, his face going red.
"Ooooooook kids," Johanna jumps to her feet. "Katniss, you're coming with me."
"I don't want to go anywhere."
"Tough. You, me, and Annie are having a girls night. Peeta, Finn wants to spend the evening with you."
"Now's not really a great time, Johanna," he says as he shakes his head.
"And you think when the baby comes will be a great time? News flash, kids, parenting is hard. Marriage is hard. You still have to make time for each other. Right now, you're not acting like a team. You need a little break and you need it before you both crack. Come on Katniss, I'll help you pack an overnight bag for Annie's house." I grumble and protest as Johanna throws some things into a bag for me then practically drags me out of the house. Peeta doesn't say anything as I pass by him but when I look over my shoulder, I can see guilt, regret, and fear in his eyes. Maybe Johanna is right. Maybe we need this tiny break.
Even in my foul mood, Johanna and Annie manage to make me smile. Johanna makes us watch this really awful Capitol drama with terrible acting that just makes us giggle, and Annie whips up the most delicious chocolate delight dessert that could even rival one of Peeta's. I feel a pang of guilt as my thoughts drift to him and I regret how I have been treating him lately. Johanna eyes me and shakes her head.
"Stop thinking, brainless! This is not the night to think! It's a night to enjoy yourself!"
"I am, I just…keep thinking about how terrible I've been to Peeta. Why am I so terrible to him?"
"Please," she scoffs. "I almost threw a kitchen knife at George in my last trimester. He kept asking me what I wanted for dinner and I finally said I didn't care so he threw up his hands and said he wasn't making anything and I got so mad. I barely missed him. Least you haven't managed to kill him yet!"
"He locked up my bow and arrows in his studio. Probably for his safety more than mine." Annie giggles.
"Peeta has always put your safety before his own, sweetie." She's right, he has. Even when we were thrown into the Hunger Games together, all he was thinking of was how to get me home alive.
The thought makes me feel worse than I already did.
After the second terrible Capitol drama of the evening, we hear the door open and Finn walks in holding a covered plate.
"Sorry to interrupt but Uncle Peeta sent me over with these. He says he hopes everyone is having fun."
"Cheesebuns," Johanna cries, grabbing the plate. She glances over at me and grins. "These are probably meant for you but your baker makes the best cheesebuns I've ever had."
"He really does," I agree as I take one. Annie smiles up at her son.
"Are you boys having fun?"
"Yeah, we went horseback riding and now he's cooking us dinner. I'd better get back, he just asked me to bring these over. And Aunt Katniss…he says to tell you he loves you." For some reason, I just want to cry.
"Tell him I love him too. And that I'm sorry." He nods and kisses his mother's cheek.
"See you guys later." After he's gone, I sigh and grab a pillow, clutching it to my chest.
"Come on Katniss, he knows how much you love him. So you've gotten into a few spats. All married couples do. It might seem bad now but just wait until you've got that little bundle of joy in your arms and you see the look on his face and the tears in his eyes. You're giving Peeta what he has always wanted."
"A baby? Anyone could have given him a baby-"
"Not just a baby. A baby with you," she says firmly. I fall silent and Johanna swipes another cheesebun.
I start to get tired during our game of "Truth". Johanna's questions are becoming more and more personal and I yawn loudly.
"I should really get some sleep."
"The guest room is all ready for you," Annie says with a smile.
"Thanks girls. For everything." They both smile as I make my way to the bedroom. After changing and brushing my teeth, I climb into the bed and immediately feel the emptiness settle in. I haven't been able to sleep without Peeta in months. If he has to go away, we make sure to talk on the phone before we go to sleep. I wonder if he will think I'm silly as I pull the phone toward me.
"Hello?" He sounds sleepy and I wonder if I've woken him. Damn it, I should just hang up before-
"Katniss?"
"How did you know it was me?"
"I guess I was sort of hoping it was you." I can't help but smile. "You can't sleep?"
"I'm just now going to bed, actually. Did you and Finn have a good time together?"
"We did. Haymitch even joined us on a walk around Victor's Village. Did you have a good time with the girls?"
"Yes. Thank you for the cheesebuns."
"I was thinking of you and how much you love them when you're watching TV."
"Well Johanna ate most of them but thank you for thinking of me." There's silence and I think he's fallen asleep.
"I'm sorry, Katniss."
"What are you apologizing for?"
"I know how hard this pregnancy has been on you…I try to be as patient as possible but sometimes I forget and then I make it even harder for you."
"Peeta, no. I forget how wonderful and caring you are and that I'm not alone in this. I am so excited about this…but I am still so terrified."
"I know," he says quietly. "But I just want you to know…I can't believe how happy you have made me. Every day I get to be with you, to live this incredible life with you. I hope you know how much I love you."
"I do," I tell him earnestly. "And I love you too. So much. More than I ever wanted to."
"I miss you," I hear him rustling around in the sheets and I smile as I settle deeper into the blankets. "It's strange not having you in my arms."
"I'm only across the way."
"I know. But it feels like you're a district away."
"Well then maybe you should…" I gasp and sit straight up.
"Katniss?" I don't answer but I blindly feel around for the lamp in the dark and switch it on. I look down to see the sheets underneath me are completely soaked.
"Katniss, are you alright?" I try to stand but a sharp pain hits me out of nowhere and I double up.
"Katniss, talk to me! Katniss!" I try to tell him I'm alright, but only a shaky breath comes out. He gasps just as I drop the phone. I crash to my knees and clutch my abdomen. The pain is worse than when I was having the Braxton-Hicks contractions! I cry out and squeeze back tears. The door bursts open and Johanna and Annie are hovering over me.
"Let's get her back on the bed."
"Let me change the sheets first."
"Do you think that matters? They'll be ruined soon anyway. And she shouldn't be in the floor like this." Loud footsteps on the stairs startle me.
"What's the matter? Is she ok?"
"Can you get her up onto the bed for us?" I feel warm hands close around my arm, then something lifting me up onto the wet sheets.
"Let me put something warmer down for her," I hear Annie say.
"What happened to her?" His voice shakes with fear.
"Her water just broke, Peeta."
"Does that mean-?"
"It will be soon. Very soon. Katniss? Can you hear us?" I try to nod as a hand pushes my hair out of my face. Three faces hover over me, blurred and fuzzy. I can make out Peeta's terrified eyes, Johanna anxiously biting on her lip, and Annie looking calm and caring.
"Katniss, we are going to undress you now. Alright?" I nod again and they strip away my wet clothing. I shiver as the night air hits my naked body but someone pulls a shirt over me again and leans me back against the pillows. I vaguely register someone pulling my legs apart and hear Annie gasp.
"Johanna….she's almost fully dilated."
"What does that mean," Peeta says frantically.
"It means we don't have time to get her to the hospital. We will have to deliver this baby."
