A/N: Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews! Your support is greatly appreciated ^^ I do apologize if this chapter is a bit disjointed – blame it on the flu medication *sneeze cough* Anyways, I hope that you'll like it and I look forward to hearing what you thought, so PLEASE REVIEW!!
Warnings: All the usual ones apply
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto
Chapter 7
The wind blew through the trees making the shadows cast by the moonlight dance across the carpet. All was silent, and Neji couldn't remember the last time he'd been so utterly alone with his thoughts. He'd left the blonde hours ago – he never stayed – and he hadn't been in the mood for any kind of social gathering anymore anyway.
Again and again he watched Tenten sinking gracefully to her knees, the image replaying endlessly in his mind's eye. He'd memorized every lithe movement of every muscle she used in the motion – the curve of her back, the angle of her head - but to no avail: no matter how hard he tried to focus on Tenten, he could not entirely forget the reason she was sinking to her knees in the first place.
His fist clenched on the coverlet and he rolled onto his side, facing away from the window, as if that action would erase the pictures in his head. He honestly didn't know what was worse: that Tenten was using or that she was willing to prostitute herself for a fix.
The crazy mix of anger and regret boiled in his veins - rose in his throat and burned like acid – and that dark, depraved and hidden part of his mind whispered that maybe he wouldn't have minded so much if Tenten had willingly given in to him. Neji acknowledged freely that he was many things – and most of them bad – but he prided himself on his ability to face the truth: and the truth was that, with Tenten, he'd taken what he wanted every time – she'd never willingly capitulated to him.
He wasn't jealous, not of Sasuke – the Uchiha was insignificant and he would be dealt with in time - but the problem was that Tenten was in way over her head. Neji snorted disdainfully and rolled onto his back. Though it was mostly his fault that Tenten had ever gotten involved with this side of life, the fact remained that Uchiha Sasuke was far too good at tainting that which he touched – Neji had had front row seats to the corruption of Sakura after all, and he was under no illusion that the same thing wouldn't happen to Tenten.
There was only one thing for it: he had to get her away from the Uchiha before she was in too far to ever get out. The last remnants of selflessness that remained in him demanded it. Unfortunately, that was the one course of action that he would not willingly undertake, not if there was another way. Neji sat up, pushed his hair back, and pounded the pillow into shape: the alien feeling of actually caring what another person did with their life made him feel uncomfortable in his own skin, and he decided that he'd sleep on it before making any firm decisions.
Two weeks later …
Tenten walked slightly behind Sasuke as they entered the same smoky club she'd visited with him months before. It seemed like a lifetime ago. Her mouth twisted bitterly as she reflected on what her life had become – not only was she no closer to making Neji beg (he avoided her like the plague these days), she was also falling deeper and deeper into a world that she knew she had very little control over.
Her mother and stepfather were continually fighting over her – her mother maintaining that every teenager had the right to some experimentation and her stepfather countering that coming home at three am, if she came home at all - usually wasted – could not be classified as a little experimentation. Tenten had never been so glad that her mother was one of the people who saw only what she wanted to see – she convinced herself that Tenten had only been a little tipsy a couple of times, and so she refused to stop her daughter from 'experiencing life' as she put it. Her stepfather had a much better grasp of the situation though and the resulting fights left Tenten feeling so guilty that she immediately promised herself to stop this insanity right away.
Only that never seemed to work – for a day or two she would stick religiously to her new decision but soon enough the loneliness became unbearable and her firm resolve crumbled - before she knew it she'd be back at the Uchiha mansion. She shot a resentful look at the back of Sasuke's head, but it was useless to blame him. She knew that. He'd warned her, he'd tried to put her off, and she'd refused to listen. No, she had only herself to blame for this – though she didn't deceive herself into thinking that Sasuke didn't get off on the power trip she provided.
Thankfully, he hadn't required her to 'earn' her highs again – it seemed he was satisfied by the humiliation he'd already visited on her. Tenten shuddered slightly at the memory. Desperately trying to keep the mental images at bay she focused instead on the scantily clad figures writhing on the dance-floor, crowding around the bar, having fun. Smoke from the strategically placed machines writhed like snakes around the shadowy forms and Tenten shivered again: it seemed like spectral shackles held them bound in place. She shook her head to rid it of the fanciful notions and looked ahead, automatically holding on to Sasuke's arm as they started to wind through the crowds, making for the stairs.
They reached the stairs and Sasuke pulled her ahead of him, giving her a light push to indicate she should precede him – it was strange, how Sasuke managed to be both a gentleman and a total cad. But she wasn't going to complain: with him at her back it was that much harder for anyone to try looking up her skirt. Sasuke no longer needed to force her into short skirts or revealing dresses but somehow she never could quite get used to baring so much skin. She climbed the stairs slowly, staring straight ahead, but all too aware of the stares that followed their progress. Sasuke was a familiar sight to most people, and he drew attention like a magnet wherever he went but Tenten had quickly found that she hated being stared at.
They swept past the bouncer guarding the door to the VIP room without pause. It never failed to amaze Tenten how easy it was to get in anywhere when you were with Sasuke: her first trip to the club had been clouded by innocence and she'd never given a thought to fake ID's or anything of the sort, it was only later on that she'd noticed how strange it was that they were simply allowed in. She shrugged the idle thought away and headed straight for the bar – tonight she badly needed a drink.
Glass of champagne firmly in hand she turned to sweep her gaze across the room, looking for familiar faces. Sasuke had business to take care of first and, as always, she was expected to entertain herself while he bought or traded, or whatever it was that he did to get the drug supply replenished. She spotted Ino's long, blonde hair across the room, the golden waves shimmering in the flashing lights, and she quickly began to make her way toward the other girl.
Ino noticed her advance when she was still out of earshot but gave her outfit an approving once-over; the short black skirt and strapless blue-black sparkly top did look rather good, Tenten had to admit, and she silently thanked Sakura for taking pity on her and helping her shop. A quick hug was all the greeting the girls needed, and without a word being said Ino tugged Tenten along in her wake, making her way toward the dance-floor that could only be accessed from the VIP room. It was more of a balcony really – it overlooked the main dance-floor below – but here there was a lot more space in which to move.
Tenten glanced around for a place to deposit her empty glass as Ino went to join Sakura who was already in the middle of the dance-floor and attracting admiring male attention. With a slight smile Tenten shook her head – a couple of weeks ago she might have been wondering how on earth Sakura managed to look so seductive while dancing but she'd used the time with her new friends to good effect. Every day had been a new learning experience, as she soaked up the information Ino and Sakura supplied, not only through their advice and opinions but also through the way they moved, walked, talked. All of it had helped Tenten reach the point she found herself at tonight: no longer the outsider, she looked like she belonged. She did belong.
Firmly pushing the melancholy thoughts away, Tenten moved to join her friends. She'd come here to enjoy herself – and enjoy herself she would … even if it killed her.
Neji leaned against a pillar, hand clenched around a tumbler full of amber liquid. The shadows hid him well, and he used the opportunity to watch Tenten undetected. She seemed sad, somehow, as if she was constantly searching for something without really knowing what was missing. He ground his teeth together as she joined the group in the middle of the dance-floor, fake smile already in place.
She used to be spontaneous, excited about everything, honest to a fault – so incredibly beautiful that he'd found himself unable to resist her in the long run. But now – though she was still beautiful, that was undeniable - she was guarded, and her beauty had changed, had become … darker, somehow. Staring at her now, Neji couldn't help but feel like she was more the dream-like succubae than the flesh and blood girl. He instinctively withdrew from her – sure that if he allowed her too close she would consume him utterly. And, much as his cowardice irked him, he'd decided to stop playing with fire, and so he'd avoided her wherever possible.
The dreams that haunted his sleep where simply that – dreams: remnants of half-forgotten sensations, words and events, and Neji refused to allow them to scare him into doing something stupid. And he was sure that, if he got any more involved with Tenten, he would wind up doing some very stupid things. He sucked in a breath as he watched her dancing form, firmly resisting the urge to go over there and pull her close.
In an angry movement he turned away, staring at the floor with unseeing eyes instead. It was beyond frustrating; feeling the almost physical pain of her absence mingled with the resentment it caused. Damnit, he didn't want to feel this way! Didn't want to care about her well-being, her state of mind … he didn't want to worry about what she was doing or who she was with.
It's your punishment, he reminded himself, fighting to keep the stoic mask from turning into a grimace. No way around that – it was his fault, his mistake, and though he knew that it was irrational he couldn't shake the feeling that no matter how he avoided it, it would fall to him to get her away from everything that threatened to destroy her. It didn't help to tell himself that she was strong, that she would survive, because he knew her. Knew that she did not have the kind of strength to resist the temptations every day was placing in her way - and that was his fault too.
He remembered a time, when he'd still been fighting with himself about her, that she'd looked …happy. And he'd taken that away. Had made her unhappy enough to immerse herself in his darkness, in this half-life, where happiness and enjoyment could easily be induced through liquid, powdered and compressed forms but lacked the reality or truth of natural emotions.
As if to confirm his thoughts, his head turned involuntarily back to Tenten, and he cursed under his breath when his gaze met hers. She stared at him for a calculated moment before slowly starting in his direction. Why can't you just leave me the fuck alone? He snarled at her, but only in his head. Watching her approach warily, he feigned indifference and took a slow mouthful from the tumbler still clenched in his hand.
Never breaking the eye contact, Tenten stopped inches away from him, one hand sliding between them to rest lightly on his chest, for balance, as she stood on her toes to speak directly into his ear.
"You've been avoiding me."
Neji inclined his head slightly, trying not to inhale her scent too obviously, "You're imagining things."
She shook her head slowly, and when someone bumped into her as they passed she arched her body against his in a movement so slight that Neji almost thought he was the one imagining things. Her laugh vibrated across the skin of his throat and he swallowed almost convulsively. Her hand trailed over his chest, across his collarbone, and he was so absorbed in watching the slender fingers' path he nearly forgot to listen when she spoke again.
"I think you're scared," she watched him from beneath lowered lashes and Neji couldn't keep his temper from flaring. "Of what? You? Don't delude yourself," he murmured snidely into her hair, already untangling himself so he could get some distance in which to think.
Tenten caught onto his arm, interrupting his escape, and she smiled at him, the dancing lights casting patches of multi-colored shadows across her features so he couldn't read the sincerity of the gesture. Her voice was mocking, "Why are you fighting what you want, Neji?" she walked closer, their bodies just brushing as she moved past him. She turned her head slightly to send him an inviting look, not bothering to veil the laughter that lurked below the invitation, and Neji's temper nearly got the better of him. His eyes narrowed as he glared after her, not entirely able to keep his gaze from lingering on her legs.
"He's still watching you," Ino reported from the corner of her mouth when Tenten rejoined them. Tenten allowed herself a small smile in acknowledgement and firmly resisted the urge to glance over her shoulder to confirm the blonde's words. Instead, she gave herself over to the beat of the music, closing her eyes, and allowing her other senses to search for Neji's presence. When she concentrated she could feel his gaze burning into her.
She allowed Ino to dance her slowly in a circle until she was facing in Neji's direction and Ino had her back to him. Always aware of his eyes Tenten tried to remember every move Sakura and Ino had taught her. Her hips swayed seductively and she winked at Ino as the latter began to move around her again.
Back to back, the girls swayed together, quickly attracting attention from everyone. Making sure that Neji could still see her through the last gap in the rapidly forming crowd, Tenten leaned back against Ino, her hands trailing suggestively down her body, over her hips, her head falling back slightly, the promise blatant in her eyes.
For an instant, just before the gap closed, she could've sworn she saw Neji close his eyes as if he was in pain, but when a gap opened up again he was gone.
She just would not stop tempting him; and Neji hated it. He hated that she had some kind of inexplicable hold over him. Hated how his body responded to her quite against his will – in fact, at the moment, he hated just about everything Tenten. He could feel her calling to him, beckoning him … to his destruction? He didn't know – he only knew that he ached to touch her again, to feel her silky skin, to hear her breathless moans of pleasure….
With a muted groan he turned back to the bar, motioning for another shot and quickly tossed it back but the alcohol did not bring any clarity, did not make him feel any different. In fact, it only served to intensify the feeling of emptiness, the wanting...
He dropped his head onto his arms, aware he must appear a total drunk, but not really caring at the moment. Every sane thought in his head screamed at him to get the hell out of there, but his head and his body were not in accordance with each other tonight; an unsettling experience. The fragile hold he had on his control stretched a bit more, and Neji finally gathered the strength to turn and make for the door.
Moving quickly he started the descent barely looking where he was going. A bright, white flash of light caught a shimmering blue-black at the corner of his sight and his head turned involuntarily. Somewhere during his bid to drown himself in alcohol, Tenten and Ino had moved down to the main dance-floor and the sight of Tenten laughing as she wound a leg around one of the shiny poles that flanked the left side of the floor was too much. His control stretched some more, and abruptly snapped. Almost before the decision to give in had been properly made Neji had already reached the bottom of the staircase, and begun to fight his way through the crowd.
The lights spun and shattered into little shards that made interesting crisscrossing patterns on Ino's pale skin, and Tenten couldn't keep from laughing as her friend struck an exaggerated pose, winding her body around one of the shiny poles that the dancers used. Holding on to her own pole to keep from sliding to the floor in a puddle of artificial merriment, Tenten tossed her hair over her shoulder and wound a leg around the pole, giving Ino a fake pout.
Suddenly, she could feel Neji again. He was looking at her – she just didn't know from where. Not wanting to give the game away, she adopted a sultry look and shimmied down the pole much to Ino's hilarity. Tenten bit her lip to keep from laughing too; it felt completely ridiculous but she managed to keep the amusement to herself as she repeated the move.
The next time she turned her head, Neji was in front of her, impossibly close, their lips only inches apart. His eyes blazed with undefined emotions and Tenten shivered slightly when she recognized anger as the dominant one. Hiding her trepidation she stared up at him challengingly, and gasped when his hands shot out to cup her cheeks, drawing her roughly closer.
"Satisfied?" he muttered against her mouth, and Tenten was gratified by the way his lips curved in a slight smile when she breathed back, "Not yet." He claimed her mouth in a bruising kiss, and Tenten forgot about anything else as she stood on her toes to wind her arms around his neck. Neji backed her up against the pole, and, uncaring of the crowds around them, hitched one leg over his hip, groaning into her mouth.
Tenten had always imagined she would feel triumphant when Neji finally surrendered to her, and yet, all she felt was elation. She dragged her mouth away, panting, and registered the coil of his hair in her hands; she'd never even noticed winding it around her fingers. She dropped her leg, Neji only slightly fighting her, and then he finally drew away.
"Come with me," he said, eyes full of command but tone strangely subdued, the undertones of pleading not entirely disguised. Mutely, Tenten nodded and followed him unresistingly when he began towing her through the crowds toward the entrance.
The walk seemed to take forever, as if every person in the club had been set on hindering their escape. Finally outside, Tenten took deep breaths of the fresh air, ignoring the way it made her head spin. She was too caught up in staring at Neji's back, at the way his hair flowed over his shoulders …
She yelped when he suddenly turned and pulled her after him – into a dark alleyway. Then she was in his arms, the contrast of his heated body pressing her into the cool stone behind her making her shiver. His hands buried in her hair and he stared at her mouth as if fascinated, before slowly lowering his head until their lips touched in a soft, chaste kiss.
The gesture – the sweetness of the fleeting touch of his lips – took Tenten by surprise, and in a bid to stop the softening of her heart she wound her arms around his neck, drawing his head down, intent on reigniting the sparks that had flared only moments before.
Neji resisted and Tenten glared up at him in barely disguised panic, if he was suddenly going to revert back to the first Neji she had no hope of escaping unscathed. The shreds of dignity she'd managed to hang on to would be totally destroyed, and her heart … she didn't think that her heart could take another beating.
"Why?" Neji panted the word, staring intently into her eyes, "Why … with Sasuke … why would you do that?"
The shock immobilized her to such an extent that it never even occurred to her to play dumb and Tenten simply dropped her gaze from his, glad that the darkness hid the flush on her cheeks. She struggled slightly, trying to get free, but Neji's hold tightened until she felt as if she was encased in steel bands. Her breathing quickened and she wet her lips nervously, "How do you know about that?" she finally managed to whisper past the obstruction in her throat.
Bitter laughter shook his frame, "Know that? I saw that," he bit out, and Tenten prayed that the ground would open and swallow her whole – anything to escape from Neji and the accusatory tone in his voice. The shock was beginning to fade, and anger to kindle, "What do you care?" Tenten snapped, "I owe you nothing!"
She finally gathered enough courage to raise her eyes defiantly to Neji's but her knees buckled at the mixture of anger, hurt and confusion she read there, and she was suddenly glad of Neji's almost bruising hold that kept her upright.
"If you needed a hit that badly you could've come to me," Neji returned at last, the mask slipping back into place. Tenten merely shook her head, an instinctive denial, and Neji's mouth twisted. "Why do that at all though?" he asked, almost thoughtfully, "why did you ever get involved with drugs in the first place? Why are you even here?!" his voice rang with the frustration he felt and his grip tightened even more, so that Tenten squirmed uncomfortably until he loosened his hold slightly.
"Why, Tenten?" he whispered into her hair as he drew her head down to his shoulder.
Goaded beyond endurance, and the alcohol not helping her sense of discretion, Tenten felt the control over her thoughts and feelings slipping from her grasp. The tears began to fall as she rained weak, ineffectual blows on his chest. The sobs ripped from deep inside and everything that she'd held back for so long came pouring forth.
"Because I'd do anything to be with you," Tenten whispered the words, punctuated by broken sobs, into his shirt but she knew he'd heard her when his body stiffened. For a moment she was sure that he would draw away, would leave her broken and alone yet again, but then his hand began to stroke comfortingly over her hair, and, to her intense surprise, Neji held her as she let the tears fall where they willed.
A/N: *peeks at readers from between her fingers* So, what did you think? Was it terrible? Merely bad? Or, I hope, a little interesting? At the very least this chapter explained the title, lol. Let me know either way! =D
