Author's note: Hello, my fellow readers! I am so sorry that I haven't updated in a while, but reality was biting me in the ass. I hope everybody is ready for Thanksgiving this week. Please read and review my story. If you have requests on flashbacks you would like to see from season 1 to season 5 episode 18, please let me know or send me a PM. I would love to hear what you all have to say.

Plus, I heard for the Winter Hellatus that there might be something HUGE to happen. Please watch the new episodes to find out. We need to keep this show on the air.

This flashback will be taking place during Lazarus Rising from season 4. It will be from 2 different point of views.

WARNING: this chapter contains attempted suicide of main character. If you don't want to read, skip through the flashback to return to the story.

NOW

Caitlyn's POV

As I was catching up to my brothers, I heard an explosion of applause coming from Jackson Square. I looked at my brothers walking toward the direction of the murder, and I looked at where the crowd's attention was panning towards. I walked towards the crowd, but it was blocked. I pushed my way through the crowd, and I felt my face drop and I saw a familiar face walking around in a circle as the crowd enclosed in a circle. It was the guy I met at the bar; Christopher.

Christopher saluted the crowd by waving his fedora hat to the crowd, and announced, "Thank you! The city of New Orleans is proud to have you all here, and I am the one that will change your perception. You all may think I'm another street magician lookin' to make a quick buck. Well guess what, my friends…"

Chris twirled around and around and then, a fleet of doves flew out of his hat. The audience was in awe of this trick, as was I. Christopher was taking in the admiration of the audience and there he spotted me in the audience. This was the same guy who tricked me into kissing him. It was funny how my heart was pounding inside my chest as his brown eyes were upon my face as the hair on my arms were standing on ends.

No, I thought, I cannot feel like this. I just met this asshole. And that kiss...oh that kiss...I sighed as my fingertips touched my lips. That kiss was remarkable. No, Caitlyn pull yourself together. Let's just finish this hunt, and then I will forget everything about New Orleans. Oh God, he's coming this way.

"For this next trick, I will need a volunteer." He spoke as he was making his way toward me. "And I choose you, mademoiselle." As he finished claiming me as a volunteer, he took my hand in his big rough hands, and placed his soft lips on my hand.

"First, I will blindfold this young lady, who is as beautiful as a bunch of Magnolias mind you." the crowd burst in laughter of his charm. As he finished blindfolding me, I could feel his hands slide down my shoulders. I felt my whole body tingle at the touch and my breath got caught in my throat.

"What is your name?" He asked me. What is this guy, an idiot?

"I believe you know my name from yesterday." I replied, smugly.

A few people in the crowd laughed at my remark. Christopher looked at me with a small smile.

"I am afraid I have never seen you in my life." He replied. "Now, what is your name?"

"My name is Caitlyn." I said, Two can play this game. Then I heard the church bells ring. Oh my god, I remembered, Sam and Dean; the murder. She ripped the blindfold off of my eyes and I started to run towards the French Market Place.


French Market Place

I finally reached the French Market Place out of breath. I thank God that there was a tarp covering the market because this heat was about to kill me. I saw vendors that were selling items from purses to pralines. Then, I saw a big crowd and I started running towards them, and I saw Sam and Dean kneeling over the covered body with a bloodied carpet next to it. Sam looked up and saw me. He motioned for the officer to let me through the yellow tape. I made my way towards them.

"Sorry I'm late, what'd I miss?" I questioned.

"Where the hell have you been?" Asked Sam.

"Never mind, well is someone filling me in, or do I have to connect the dots on this one?" I asked ignoring my twin's question.

Sam sighed as he shook his head, "Young woman dead and found thirty minutes ago. The vendor of the carpet booth was getting an order in and one of his customers wanted to see it. He unrolled it, and out she comes."

"Did he remember the company's name or the delivery guy's name?" I asked, and Sam shook his head.

I was getting more ticked off about this case, "This market place is crawling with residents and tourists, how was this not obvious to anyone that a shady guy from a shady-ass company knew about this?"

"Caitlyn, take a look at this." Dean motioned me to the corpse. He lifted the sheet and I saw the girl's body. Oh God, I thought, looking at this poor girl's body, this girl got involved with our kind of bad. The body looked like it was torn to shreds. I was trying very hard to get that vision of Dean's torn body out of my head, but I couldn't.

"Dean, please tell me that this wasn't a hellhound attack." I said, dreadfully. Dean took in a deep breath and I could see it in his eyes.

I felt my heart stop and hot tears forming in my eyes. Dean gripped my shoulder as I shrugged it off. "This girl probably didn't see it coming."

I heard a group of people talking about this scene and taking pictures with their phones. I didn't even realize that I went right up to them so fast and I didn't noticed that I took the phone from one of them and smashed it onto the ground. The girl who owned the phone was shocked that her phone was completely destroyed. She was a short girl with very expensive taste in clothes.

"Do you have any humanity?" she said all bratty-like. "That was a very expensive phone!"

"Oh, I have humanity, sweetheart." I replied, "But the question is, where is yours? Is it in your heart, or is it buried so far up your ass you don't have the actual smarts to find it?" The crowd made sounds as if they were on The Jerry Springer Show.

"Go to Hell, Lady!" she shouted back, "Or better yet, go kill yourself so you can get off my back."

"Oh that's it, you little..." I started charging towards her, but then I felt myself being lifted off the ground and turned in the other direction. Dean came over and flashed his badge at the girls.

"Listen to me, if you ever talk to her or any police officer like that again," he threatened, "I will accidentally spill some of that evidence on your very expensive dress." The girl's smile suddenly disappeared. I saw Dean head towards me, "Are you okay?"

"I had it under control." I defended myself.

"Like when I came back from Hell?"

I probably did one of the most stupidest things anyone could do...attempted suicide.


September 2008

Caitlyn's POV

I went into the upstairs bathroom to take a bath. I was walking slower than usual. As I ran the water in the cast-iron bathtub, I plugged the stopper in to fill it up. I needed a warm bath. I was so exhausted by staying up for many days and nights trying to find a way to get Dean out of Hell. I had to bury my brother, and he never got a chance to have a family of his own. Sam was in his own grief he would even look at me. I remembered the look he gave me, like it was my fault our brother was dead. And then a couple months later, he ditched me in the nuthouse, and I never heard from him since. And everything with Alex...I had to get a warm bath to forget everything.

They are both gone, I thought, how could they both leave me like this? Dean is dead, and Sam just ditched me in a psychiatrics ward and never heard from him again. I am very glad Bobby was there for everything. He let me stay at his house. I was so glad that he and Rufus were in Dallas when I was in the hospital. I wouldn't have gotten out if it weren't for them. I will be forever thankful for that, but they also stated that I should give up on trying to save Dean.

I didn't realize that I still had my bra and panties. I just needed the warm sensation touching my skin. I laid back in the tub. I had to get my mind off of things, I just had too. I didn't care if I left the water running, but I can't listen to Dean's screams or the amount of blood Alex lost. I sunk down in the tub, and then...darkness.


Now

"Caitlyn!" someone shouted my name as it broke my remembrance. I realized then it was Sam calling me back down to Earth while Dean was talking to some man.

"Sorry. So we have victims that got the shit kicked out of them, and now some random animal attack?" I listed. "I'm sorry guy, but there is certainly no connection at all to any of the victims."

"Let's go." Dean said, as he moved me out of the scene. "what the hell was that back there, Caitlyn?"

"I don't know what you are talking about guys."

"Sis, you totally blanked out on us. First, you were not behind us when I got the call, and now you totally just went cage fighting mode with mean girls over there." said Sam.

I can't tell them about Christopher. But that bitch had it coming I was ready to break that plastic nose off her face. "I had something on my mind, Sam."

"Well it's not being focused on what we are here for


September 2008

Dean's POV

It feels good to be back, I thought, I am back home now. Since I know Sam is safe, so far I know, I just hope Tweedle Dum is alive, too. Her screams actually scared the shit out of me, even if I was a chew toy. Please, let her be okay. Bobby might know her whereabouts if he knew about Sam.

"Since Sam was dead set on going alone, what about Caitlyn?" I asked Bobby. Bobby was sitting at his desk when I asked the question.

"Well she was with Sam, and then Rufus and I...uh...found her alone. She stayed with me until now. She took your death the hardest, Dean."

I looked down at the ground, "Is she here now?"

Bobby nodded, "She's upstairs I think. She has been quiet since we brought her home."

I climbed up the stairs to see Caitlyn. I turned and saw that her bedroom door was open, but no one was inside. I just want to see her safe, I thought, hopefully, I need my kitty-cat. Then I heard a plunking sound underneath my feet. I looked down to find a puddle of water underneath his feet.

"Bobby, have you had any recent problems with the plumbing?" I shouted from above.

"No, why?" Answered Bobby.

Suddenly, this sinking feeling was forming in my stomach and my heart was aching.

Oh God, I prayed to myself, please don't let this be what I think it is. I looked at the closed door. I jiggled the knob, but it was locked. I had no choice but to kick the door in. And there, right in front of me, Caitlyn, wearing her black shorts with her black fitted tank top, was laying in the cast iron tub full of water. The water was above her head and her beautiful green eyes were closed.

"BOBBY!" I screamed as I ran towards the tub. As I got close, I pulled her out. I placed one arm under her legs and the other behind her back. Her head rolled back, and I choked out a sob. I can't be too late, I thought, I just can't be. Why did I make that fucking deal in the first place? This would not be happening now if I didn't leave her.

I carried her outside the bathroom where there was space as I heard someone stomping up the stairs. I gently laid her down flat on her back as her lifeless head turn to the side. After I got her situated, I placed my index and middle finger along her neck, and leaned over to hear for breath sounds.

"Shit Bobby, she's not breathing!"

"That little idjit." Bobby said under his breath.

I tilted her head back and breathed air into her. I saw Bobby kneel on the opposite side of her body, laced his fingers on top of her chest, and performed thirty chest compressions. I was petting her head to get the strands of hair away from her face. Come on, sweetheart, I begged, you can't leave me.

After Bobby completed the compressions, I breathed for her again. Nothing. I breathed for her again. Still nothing.

"I just got back, kitty cat. Please don't do this."

I saw Bobby start another round, "Come on, kid."

"Breathe, Caitlyn, come on." I desperately begged. "You can pull through, just come back."

After that set of compressions, I breathed for her again and again, still nothing.

I saw Bobby lean back away from her, Did he just stop, I asked myself. I pushed Bobby out of the way, and I got on my knees.

"Oh no, Caitlyn Marie, you breathe goddamnit!" I laced my fingers together and placed them on her chest and pushed down. "You hear me, breathe. Breathe!"

I leaned down and breathed for her again, and then water entered my mouth. I sat up straight in shock and saw Caitlyn coughing up the water. I sighed in relief as hot tears were falling from my eyes. I didn't care if I had a chick flick moment, I got my sister back.

"Oh thank God" Bobby sighed in relief.

Caitlyn's eyes, those beautiful eyes that I missed for four months, were open. But for some reason, I saw fear in them.

"Get away from me, you son of a bitch!" she shouted, as she was grabbing on to the stair rail. I could see that she doesn't have her landlegs back. She looked like she was heading back to her room.

"Caitlyn, stop. You are going to hurt yourself." I said calmly, holding my hands out. Her balance was so off I was afraid she would fall over the railing. She stumbled into her room and went for her bed. I saw her reach for something in her backpack and she pulled out her throwing knives holster, and started throwing them at me. Thank God I still had my quick reflexes after Bobby and I's confrontation. She was always good with those damn things. She turned and threw holy water at me, but quickly turned back to reach for something else.

"I'll teach you to mess with my brother's body." she said, unenergetic. She was wearing herself out. I grabbed her by her upper arm, and she turned with angry eyes, something I never saw before.

"Get your disgusting sulfuric hands off of me!" she screamed as her silver stag point knife and slice my arm. I hissed through my teeth at the pain I felt.

Caitlyn's face looked at me in shock, "No, it's impossible." She sat down on her bed, but then laid down. I sat beside her.

"Kitty cat...it's me." I gently raised my hand, and she looked at it as if I was going to hit her. I placed it on her still wet cheek. She looked into my eyes again. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me down as I wrapped my arms around her. I heard her muffled cries, and I was full of joy because my sister was okay...alive. But her cries were breaking my heart. I tightened the hug so she would know I'm real.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I'm so sorry." She said with a shaky voice.

"It's okay, kiddo." My voice threatened to break. I let go of her, and she laid down on her bed. I found a blanket, and I pulled it over her, and gave her a kiss on her forehead. "Get some rest." I started walking to the door when I heard a soft sob. I turned around to see her on her side. She never did like anyone see her cry. I shook my head as I let out a sigh. What happened to you, kitty cat? I thought, What happened while I was away? And then I closed her door.


Now

I rubbed my eyes, trying to wipe out that memory. Caitlyn was the sensitive one in the family, just like mom. I just hated the fact that she barely knew mom. I almost lost her, and I regretted making the deal the moment I saw her laying in that bathtub. I remembered Castiel telling me that moment I met him that she was the heart of the family. She cares about people so much that she takes it out on herself. The young woman I see in front of me was a beautiful, smart, caring person. It pains me to think that she was capable of hurting herself like that.

"Dean, are you okay?" Sam asked, pulling me out of my own world.

"Yeah, I'm good." I answered, "What did I say about chick-flick moments?"

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

Caitlyn rolled her eyes at us and chuckled. It was just like old times.


Caitlyn's POV

I came out of the library with a pile of books in my hands. Thank God I brought my backpack, I thought as the weight of the books were wearing me down, I should be back at the motel, taking a nice shower, and instead, I am being their errand girl.

I saw in the corner of my eye a very familiar fedora hat, "Lucy, you have some 'splainin' to do."

"Go away." I said plainly.

"Okay, let me cut to the chase...you ruined my street show."

"Cry me a river, sweetheart."

"Listen, baby, I ain't through with you yet." He said as he grabbed my arm.

"You want a show? I'll give it to ya."

I threw the books on the ground, grabbed his arm, and flipped him on his back. I saw the crowd in shock that a girl my size could do that. I could hear them whispering to one another; some were laughing, some were shocked, and some looked scared.

I turned and announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, you have just witness a pissed off girlfriend take out her asshat of a boyfriend." I turned to him with a satisfied look, and said, "I hope you enjoyed it, because I sure as hell did." And I walked away with a huge smile on my face.

I heard footsteps coming towards me and I heard Christopher again, "I am definitely wanting your number, and has anyone told you that you have lovely eyes?"

"You just won't quit, will you?" I asked him.

"I just find you very interesting, baby." this idiot was walking backwards as I was moving forward.

"I ain't your baby, Christopher."

He stopped and placed his hand on his chest, "You said my name. Houston, we have liftoff."

I walked around him and continued on my way. This guy is seriously the most idiotic boys I have ever met, I thought, he seriously needs to get a life. "Cut the crap, what do you want?"

"I just want your number."

"I am working on a case, and I don't have time to go out." I replied. I can't hurt his pride, I just humiliated the guy in public twice, and I do owe him something for the trouble I caused. I extended my hand out as if I wanted him to shake it. "Good bye, Chris."

Chris stopped and shook my hand. I took his hand, got a pen, and wrote down my cell number.

"I respond to text better." I whispered in his ear. I walked away and never looked back. I gave the guy his pride back, I thought, maybe this case wasn't a total bust after all.


A/N: I am so sorry that this is late. I hope everybody had a great Thanksgiving. I know I did. :)

If you like this story, please read and review and add to your favorites, or if you want the next update, follow it. Keep those reviews coming. They really make my day when I know that people like my story.


Thank you madds098 and marahh for your reviews. They really mean a lot to me as a new writer. If there is anything you want to see in a flashback or with future chapters involving Christopher, please PM me.


As I said before, something huge will happen before the Hellatus. Tune in tonight for a new episode, and to find out what happens next week. I need this show to have a season 11. I would still like to see Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki weekly since Sons of Anarchy will be ending next week. I will keep posting until a new season has been confirmed.


Thank you all so much, and I am hoping to get the next chapter out soon.