Ohmytheon notes: As someone who only has a step-brother, I write a lot about siblings, both fanfiction and original fiction-wise. It's high time that these two talk. It's not the most open or even completely honest one, but they're getting there. Give these boys some time. They need it. Todorokis gonna Todoroki. The song for this chapter is one of my absolute favorites, "Heirloom" by Sleeping at Last, which I feel sums up the Touya, Shouto, and Endeavor dynamic perfectly. This also marks the first time that Mistystarshine does some of the writing for a chapter, yay!


You remind me of who I could have been
Had I been stronger and braver way back then
A million choices, though little on their own
Became the heirloom of the heaviness we've known


After around an hour of basically hiding in the trees on U.A.'s campus, Touya knew that he couldn't avoid the dorms any longer. Hopefully, most of the other students would be busy with their homework or training. From what he knew of students in the hero course, they were often kept much busier than everyone else because of their extra course load. If he could just slip into his dorm room unnoticed…

No, he couldn't do that. He had to talk to Shouto. It would be better to face his brother upfront.

Holding onto the empty carton, having scarfed down the food Aizawa had given him like he'd not eaten in days, Touya slunk his way back to the dorms. Even though he was on his own, he knew that he wasn't totally alone. He'd seen Present Mic through the trees, sitting at a bench seemingly grading papers, one of those dumb things people did when it was a nice day and wanted an excuse to get out of the office. It would've been innocuous had he flipped the pages more than every ten minutes. He couldn't be that slow of a reader.

By the time Touya made it to the dorms, Present Mic was gone. Ah, so that was how it was going to be. Well, he couldn't say that he blamed them. He wouldn't have trusted himself either had he been in their position.

As soon as he made it to the common area, his worst fears were confirmed. The room wasn't filled to the brim with all of Class 1-A, but there were enough students lingering there to make it awkward when Touya walked inside. A few people, like the boy with the huge belt and the large kid with multiple arms, walked out of the room the second they caught sight of him, although he couldn't tell if it was out of aggression or the mere desire to avoid him. Fine by him. Then there was Bakugou, who scowled from his spot at the couches, but didn't move, along with a red-haired boy and a shockingly pink girl. The latter two gave him hesitant yet curious looks.

And then there were Iida, Midoriya, and Uraraka, all of whom rushed over to him like a tidal wave. Touya found their energy somewhat draining. However, it was only natural for them to be like that after the strange scene they'd witnessed with his father. Hopefully, they had better relationships with their parents.

"Are you alright?" Uraraka asked.

"Where did you go after you left Aizawa's office?" Iida questioned. "Did you get something to eat?"

Midoriya opened his mouth and then closed it, as if reconsidering his question. Touya was grateful. He had a feeling that it was more personal than he wanted to talk about in public - or ever.

"Uh, yeah, Aizawa gave me some food," Touya said, holding up the empty box. "I just… I needed some alone time. A lot's happened today."

Iida nodded his head. "Understandable. You must feel overwhelmed." Touya just barely managed to stop himself from letting out a caustic laugh. These were nice kids. They were earnest. He forgot that people were like that. Instead, he managed a stiff nod. "Maybe you should take an early night. We can get started on figuring out where you are course-wise tomorrow."

Damn, Iida certainly didn't waste any time. That must have been why he was the class rep.

As much as Touya craved the sanctuary his dorm would offer him and about twelve hours straight of being unconscious, he had other things on his mind that were more important. "I was actually wondering where Shouto was?" He shifted on his feet. "I wanted to talk with him."

Midoriya glanced at Iida before turning back to Touya. "He's in his dorm."

"Right, okay." Touya hesitated. "Do you think it's a bad idea? Does he not want to speak with me?"

Panic started to seize his heart. This had been a very overwhelming day for Shouto too. Seeing their father on campus had probably been an additional shock. There had been plenty of instances where he had witnessed their father's cold and angry behavior towards Touya, especially when he had stepped in between him and Shouto or their mother, but nothing like that. It was strange that, despite his father's aggression and hatred, it was one of the first times that Touya hadn't felt afraid of the man.

Hard to feel afraid of someone when your future self is so much more terrifying.

"No," Midoriya answered carefully, "I think it'd be for the best." He frowned. "He's been there since…"

He didn't have to finish. Touya knew what he couldn't say out loud. As soon as Aizawa had taken Touya away and Endeavor had left, Shouto had gone straight to his dorm to avoid everyone. It was what Touya had wanted to do before Aizawa had given him an out. He wondered if Shouto felt humiliated or just angry. His big brother had become a villain, shaming the family and their number one hero father, but even worse, now there were people who knew about at least a little of what went on at home.

"What room is his?" Touya asked.

"Fifth floor, third room on the left," Iida answered.

"Okay." Touya awkwardly fiddled with the empty carton in his hands. "I'll just…"

"Here, I'll throw that away for you," Uraraka said as if she knew what he was thinking. She took the carton from him without waiting for him to respond. "He likes to keep a very clean space."

"Of course," Touya responded. "He always did."

It was kind of weird talking about Shouto with his friends, if only because they seemed to know him just as well, if not better, than Touya did these days. As if he didn't feel like a bad big brother already. He nodded his head and then headed in the direction of Shouto's room. It would've been easier to use the elevator, but he took the stairs. It gave him more time to think about what to say and also avoid the confrontation for a little longer. Too soon, he was on the fifth floor and he dragged himself to the door that Iida had mentioned.

This was it. This was Shouto's room. Behind this door was his little brother, no longer so little. Touya's mouth felt dry as he tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. He didn't want to do this, but at the same time, he was almost desperate to speak to Shouto. He didn't know anyone here yet, but he wanted to know his brother. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door and waited.

After a few moments, Shouto's voice came from behind the door. "Who is it?" So neutral. He hadn't always been like that.

Touya should've been polite or even submissive, considering his misdeeds, but this was his little brother, so he dryly responded, "Who do you think?" and then cringed. It was so easy to act like he always had with Shouto. It was the only way he knew how. Just last night in his head, he'd been on the phone with him, teasing him about how much of a dork he was because of the books he liked to read. The door opened slightly and Shouto peered out to look at him. Touya's shoulder slumped. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah," Shouto replied. "I guess we should talk."

No shit.

After opening the door further, Shouto stepped aside and he slunk in, hands buried in his pockets. When Shouto shut the door, panic burst inside of Touya's chest. He felt suddenly trapped. It was stupid. He was in a room with his brother, not a villain. If anyone should be concerned, it should've been Shouto. He was the one alone in a room with a villain. However, there was nothing but a blank expression on his face, his eyes unreadable. Shit, it was like looking into a mirror.

Turning around, Touya swept his gaze around the room and whistled lowly. "Nice digs. Looks just like home."

Shouto coughed, embarrassed again. "It's too much, isn't it?"

A chuckle worked its way out of Touya's throat. "Yeah, a little."

They were both avoiding the real reason why he had come up here, but he didn't mind. Now that they were the same age, things felt more even between them, like they were on the same level. It wasn't as uncomfortable as he had imagined it would be. They'd both gone through similar trials together. Since he could only remember his life as a U.A. student, he could almost pretend that they were on the same page as well.

"Did you not decorate your room...when you went here?" Shouto asked. "I wanted to visit, but I wasn't allowed."

Touya shook his head. "I didn't have the money to do much with it and I avoided asking Dad for help as much as possible." This looked a lot more comfortable than his dorm. Home life might have been more than chaotic and he had hated it as much as he had loved it, but their house had been nice. The number two hero could afford a lot of things. Just not a decent personality. "I asked if you could visit all the time, but he wouldn't even let Fuyumi or Natsuo come."

There was a brief lull in the conversation as both of them thought about their other siblings. They were both older than him now. Natsuo had been taller than him even when they were kids, despite Touya being the older brother. He'd finally caught up by fourteen and had been very pleased. Knowing his luck, he'd be shorter again. He wasn't looking forward to finding out.

Turning back around, Touya looked up at his brother, only to be caught off guard by the fact that he was looking up at his brother. For the first time, he noticed he had to tilt his eyes slightly upward to meet his gaze. His younger brother's gaze. Shouto was a few centimeters taller than him, which, while it wasn't much, felt neither right nor fair. It was like dealing with Natsuo all over again. He didn't like it. His eleven-year-old brother wasn't supposed to be taller than him at all .

...Except Shouto wasn't eleven years old anymore. The flash of impulsive indignity was fleeting and died down when reality promptly set in, bringing something bitter with it. He wasn't eleven years old anymore and hadn't been eleven years old for a long time. His brother had grown up and he had missed it . What should have been five years had become the blink of an eye - or the flash of a quirk. A quirk that had been used on him for what sounded like a very good reason.

The anger that had begun to build inside him died down under a wave of guilt. He couldn't remember the past five years because of the quirk, but even if he could , he wouldn't have been there for his brother anyway. He wouldn't even be there with him now . Touya had missed years of his younger brother's ever-fleeting childhood and he only had himself to blame for it. His throat stung and his tongue turned to lead at the thought. He already knew he had walked out on them - it was why he needed to talk to him in the first place - but every time he noticed something different, it felt like the discovery of a fresh sin he'd committed and made the harsh reality that much more real.

It only took a few seconds for the entire string of feelings and realizations to occur. Touya wasn't able to maintain eye contact with Shouto for more than a fraction of that. (Weak.) He allowed his gaze to drop to his shoes and willed his lips to move. He had to say something. Something smooth, something genuine and eloquent, something that could hope to serve as even the beginning of an explanation, because gods knew there was no justifying all of it.

"Shouto," he slowly said.

"Hm?"

Touya could feel the weight of the other boy's gaze on him.

Eloquent. Genuine. He deserves an explanation. "You shouldn't wear high tops." Fuck.

He forced himself to look back up, if only to bear witness to the small disaster he'd just created. Shouto's eyebrows were furrowed in bewilderment, the first hint of emotion on his face. "What?"

"Your shoes. You shouldn't try to make yourself look taller," Touya awkwardly explained. "It's not working."

The confusion began to dissipate from Shouto's face, replaced by something that might be the shadow of amusement. There was a beat of silence in which Touya felt his gut twist before Shouto confirmed what he had begun to fear in that moment. "I'm not wearing high tops." A quick glance down revealed that, indeed, he was wearing perfectly flat, fairly thinly soled shoes. When Touya looked back up, a smirk, faint enough that he wouldn't have noticed if he didn't know where to look, had begun to form. It was only highlighted by the blank tone in which he said, "I'm just taller than you."

Apparently, at some point over the last five years, his younger brother had also become a little shit.

Touya scowled. In the life he remembered, Shouto probably would've laughed after that, but instead, he only shook his head. That definitely meant that Natsuo was taller than him too. At least he still had Fuyumi and their mom beat. It had been frustrating to be shorter than his sister for half his childhood, but his quirk had burned through him too hot, making him small for his age for years.

Huffing irritably, Touya sat down on the floor, crossing his legs and propping his hands on his thighs, and Shouto followed, threading his fingers together. He looked a lot calmer. Touya didn't know how he was managing it when he felt like a bundle of nerves, his quirk prickling anxiously under his fingertips until he managed to push it down. Sometimes, he lit and smothered tiny blue fires on his fingers to make it look like the fire was dancing. It was a habit he'd started when he was six to make his quirk seem less frightening, but it had turned into a tic after a while.

"I wonder if Dad told them about…"

About what, Shouto? About how their failure of a brother became a villain?

He couldn't say that though, so Touya instead said, "I doubt it. He probably doesn't think it's important. After I left..." Why had he done that? Why had he left them? Had he even visited their mother in the hospital? Oh gods, his mom. "He probably cut me off my like a dead limb."

Shouto sighed. He didn't have to confirm it for Touya to know that Endeavor had most likely either burned or trashed everything that had belonged to him. He wouldn't have even put it past the man to destroy any pictures of him and have them pretend like he didn't even exist. That was what Endeavor did with failures. He put them in the past and he moved on, refusing to let them hold him back. His three kids before Shouto had been just that, Touya even more so.

"How are they?" he finally asked.

"Natsuo and Fuyumi are doing really well," Shouto told him. "Natsuo is in college. I heard he even has a girlfriend now. He left home two years ago and hasn't been back since, but we keep in contact." Touya fought the urge to sigh in relief. That was good. At least one of them had been able to escape and have a normal life. "Fuyumi is a preschool teacher. She feels guilty over not being able to protect me more."

"That wasn't her job," Touya cut in, angry with himself all over again. It had been his job. He was supposed to protect them from their father. He was supposed to keep their mother safe.

Shouto looked resigned, but then all of this had already come to pass for him. He couldn't regret it. "I know. She even stayed home to help take care of me." He paused in thought. "I wonder if she'll move out since I'm no longer living at home."

Touya almost jumped to his feet. "She what ? She's still living there?"

"Dad couldn't take care of us on his own," Shouto pointed out, sounding almost like he was defending the man.

"He didn't take care of us when Mom was there either," Touya shot back. Shouto merely shrugged his shoulders. He wasn't trying to defend Endeavor. It was frustrating. He'd missed so much. Had he not thought about that when he had walked out on them? How his leaving would change their lives too? Couldn't he have left and stayed in contact with them like Natsuo? Hating his future self was exhausting and confusing all at once. He rubbed his head. "Sorry, it's just… It's hard to wrap my head around. I don't know what happened."

Shouto was silent for a minute, stewing over something that had been on his mind, until he asked, "Did you feel like leaving before? Last night, after the phone call and argument with Dad - did you want to leave?"

"I…" Touya propped his hands on the floor behind him and leaned back. "Of course I did. I won't lie about that. I was so angry with Dad sometimes that I wanted to burn everything to the ground and leave it all behind. Either I'd dream about proving him wrong and making something incredible of myself or taking you and the others away from him and getting the hell out of dodge." He tilted his head back and gazed at the ceiling. "I felt like a failure. I couldn't be the hero that Dad demanded. It was humiliating. To be honest, I hated it here."

From his peripheral vision, he caught the alarmed expression on Shouto's face and the way he sat up straight. "You hated it? What do you mean? You wanted to go to U.A. so bad. I remember you fighting with Dad about it your last year in middle school. You even used Mom's name to do it." He blinked in confusion. "You used to tell me how much I would love it when I went here and always smiled when talking about school. It's what made me okay with Dad pushing me to apply. I thought, if you liked it so much, then I would too."

"You do like it here, don't you?" Touya asked.

Shouto hesitated, but then admitted, "Yeah." For the first time in his life, he had friends of his own and he was away from Endeavor. He could use his quirk as he wished. His quirk, not their father's and mother's. It was good for him. U.A. was exactly what Shouto had needed in his life. It had been a slap in the face for Touya.

"That's good." Touya closed his eyes. "It's different for you than it was for me. You're in the hero course. I'm - was - in General Studies, bottom of the barrel, the students who either couldn't hack it in the entrance exam or applied to it knowing they couldn't and hoping they could make a name for themselves at the Sports Festivals."

"I don't understand," Shouta said. "With your quirk, you should've been in the hero course. I've seen you use it before you-" Before he had become Dabi. He tried not to react. "It's strong ."

"I didn't take the entrance exam like you did. I did enough to get into General Studies and that was it."

"Why?"

Touya opened his eyes and looked back at his brother. "Because that was one of Dad's rules. If I was going to go through with attending U.A., I had to earn my spot in the hero course a different way. He didn't consider me worthy to apply for the same course that he went through. I had to prove that I was."

There was something else bothering Shouto. He could tell from the way he wouldn't meet his gaze. "I didn't take the entrance exam. I got in on recommendation."

A bitter laugh almost escaped Touya, but he clenched his jaw at the last second. "I should've figured that."

At the end of the day, Shouto was stronger than him in every sense. Their quirks were similar, but Shouto excelled where Touya was flawed. The only way that Touya bested him was that his flames were much hotter and more powerful, but that was only because his fire quirk didn't reside on half of his body and even then it didn't do him much good.

"It's different for you," Touya continued in a flat tone. "In the hero course, you're at the top of the food chain. You're the focus. You're important. Maybe you don't do it, but a lot of the students in the hero courses in my time looked down on those in Gen Studies, considered them weak and beneath everyone else. There might not be any active bullying, but it wasn't unusual to get overlooked or pushed around."

For Touya, it hadn't helped that he couldn't control his quirk. He'd done everything he could on his own to learn how to master it, but there had been nothing he could do about the way it had turned on him repeatedly. He had been considering going to someone in the support course, but he hadn't trusted any of the teachers enough to tell them about his quirk issues, much less another student. If he admitted that he needed help, then he would be even more of a failure than his father called him. Needing support meant that, on some level, his quirk was broken.

"You should've been able to get into the hero course," Shouto insisted.

"I didn't." And he wouldn't be able to hack it in the hero course now. In the five years that he'd lost due to being de-aged, he had somehow figured out how to control his quirk, but now he was back to sixteen and he was at a loss once more. Aizawa would figure it out soon enough. Maybe he'd pull him out of the course on his own. What if Touya accidentally hurt someone? The only thing he could do was hold off on using his quirk for as long as possible, but he knew that there would come a time when he didn't have a choice. "I couldn't meet Endeavor's expectations. I couldn't even meet my own. Being here reminded me of that every day."

Shouto clenched his hands into fists. "Is that why you left?"

"I don't know why I left," Touya said honestly. "I know that, as of my last memories, I wasn't planning on leaving. I had so many ideas still. I thought I could beat the system and prove our father wrong." He let out a frustrated breath of air. He'd had so many dreams. Had he simply been too worn down? Had he been beaten down so many times by himself, by this place, by his father that he'd given up? "I went to bed last night even thinking that I'd be able to get Mom out of the hospital. I'd become a hero and I'd make enough money to get her out and-" He looked back at his brother. "Where is Mom? Is she...is she still there?"

The stiff nod from Shouto confirmed Touya's worst fears and he deflated. The last time he had seen their mom had been when he was fifteen right after he'd been accepted into U.A. He'd had to use her last name to get in, after all, since Endeavor would only let Shouto attend U.A. under the Todoroki name. Her doctor had been hesitant about him visiting and he knew that it was because they were worried that his presence would trigger an episode or panic attack. He'd worn a beanie and loose dark clothes that hung on him awkwardly. He had thought about wearing glasses as well. Anything to make him look different from the man that had put her there.

"I've started visiting her again and writing her," Shouto put in. "Fuyumi and Natsuo too. We… I waited too long."

"Wonder if anyone will tell her about me or if her doctors might consider it too much," Touya murmured, mostly to himself. He said it offhand, but a large part of him yearned to see her, even though he was terrified that she would push him away. Maybe his appearance would only disrupt her healing. He was too afraid to ask. "How is she?"

A small smile appeared on Shouto's face. "She's doing better. She's come a long way. I don't know if she's forgiven herself for what happened, but she's started talking about it."

"That's good. That's…" Touya nodded, his mouth dry. "Good."

Somehow he knew that she hadn't mentioned him, even if Shouto didn't want to admit it. He had a feeling that none of them did after a while. It sounded very much like he'd cut off all contact with them and their father had made sure to burn every shred of his existence. It would be easier to pretend as if he either never existed or was dead. That was the Todoroki way. Their mother had loved her children, but things had always been complicated. He had never doubted that she loved him. Only, sometimes, he wondered if she liked him or wanted him around.

Part of it was his fault, he knew. As his training had progressed and things had steadily gotten worse, he'd started to develop his father's temper as his quirk got stronger, both of them uncontrollable. He'd never directed it towards her or his siblings, but she had to have seen him lashing out. She had to have worried that he might turn on Shouto or the others. Maybe she never outright thought it, but Touya could remember her looking at him like she looked at Shouto sometimes, like she wasn't seeing him. With Shouto, she could take a few breaths and the look would go away. With Touya, she would leave the room entirely without saying a word to him.

(Why did it have to be Shouto that got hurt then?)

Touya fell back on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. "I feel like I've missed so much - like so much has changed and yet some things are the same and I don't-" Another person might've cried at this point. He thought that he should, but he couldn't muster the energy or desire. It took a fucking lot to get him to that point. If seeing his father today hadn't done that to him, this wouldn't. "I don't understand."

"Neither do I," Shouto admitted.

"I'm sorry," Touya told him, trying to inject as much genuineness in his voice as possible. It would've been better if he'd sat up to look at him, but he didn't want to get up. It was easier to say the words to the ceiling. "I know it means jack shit since I don't even know what all I've done as Dabi, but I know enough to know that I'm a complete bastard." He snorted. "That's probably an underestimate."

"You don't have to apol-"

"No, I do." Touya pushed himself back up and faced his brother. "Because I don't know if I will when I turn back. I tried to be a good big brother, but… I failed in the worst way and that's something I can never forgive myself for. I was selfish." That old familiar feeling of anger bubbled inside of him, only this time it was directed at himself. What he would do to not be consumed by that sort of rage. He shoved it down. Now was not the time. "I can't promise you that I'll be better. All I can is do is work at it."

This time, Shouto didn't respond immediately and Touya couldn't tell what he was thinking. He was looking down again at his hands. One ice, one fire. He had so much power. Even as a kid, back before his training, Touya had seen it and been afraid for him. No one should have that much strength, least of all a kid in Endeavor's care. His own had been terrifying enough. He'd nearly burned his bedroom down when he was six after having a nightmare. It had put him in the hospital for a week. His father had been so furious. The training had gotten much harder after that, like he was irritated with him for showing his weakness in public.

"Just don't leave again," Shouto finally said. "I know things will be different when you turn back, but for now…"

Touya let out a breath that he'd been holding. "Yeah, I can do that."

And he would. He swore it with everything in him.


Mistyststarshine notes: Have some sibling feels, featuring: tangles of emotions, unreliable narrators, Todorokis Todoroking, and mountains of guilt! Did they address everything they need to talk about? Absolutely not. Neither of these two are gifted when it comes to initiating an emotional dialogue about serious matters. (Why do that when you can just wait for explosions?) On the bright side, unaddressed issues being addressed when they are inevitably forced to be means we get even more scenes with them later!

This marks the first chapter that I wrote a section of prose for! (Discounting a few lines of dialogue) It's not much, but it's there and if you notice any shift in the writing style, that's probably why. I'm hoping we did a decent job of mixing it in though! There'll be more from me later on, although the majority of it is likely to be later on in the story.

Also, can I just say… nearly four hundred kudos!? And all of these lovely reviews!? Oh my gosh! I am over the moon and so happy that people have been enjoying our fic! I know I've been slow replying to comments lately and haven't gotten to any from the last chapter yet, but know that I read and appreciate every single one of them. Sometimes I even squeal and flail about - especially when someone guesses correctly at something, accidentally gets close to something, or says something that comes hilariously close to being foreshadowing in its own right. Yes, that has happened with some of you! No, I won't say who! Not yet, anyway. Expect me to gleefully and retrospectively point things out once things happen.