Practice from that day forward with Roxas was painful and grueling, because he made both of us practice longer and harder for the upcoming Christmas Ball. I didn't expect anything less from him, of course. It is Roxas, after all; I was used to it, mostly. Oddly, he's quite the perfectionist when he wants to be, and since we're doing the Paus de Dux, he wanted it, well, perfect. I was actually surprised when he told me he wanted to do that dance, and I had also blushed because… well, it was unexpected and almost embarrassing. That was a couple's dance. I didn't expect him to actually choose it, even though I had always (secretly) wanted to dance it. But, that was when I was dancing with Sora, not Roxas.
I was happy, though, that I got the chance to do this. I was really, really happy, actually, even if I was dancing with Roxas. I don't really have anything against Roxas, not anymore, anyways, but it feels weird when he holds me so intimately… It is a good weird, though… I think. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I wasn't even sure anymore…
As it drew closer and closer to the Christmas Ball, however (though it was being held during what was supposed to be Winter Break, we could go with our parents after all the festivities were over. Since my parents are in the process of moving to Radiant Garden, I won't be going—but don't worry, they're still coming to see me dance), Roxas seemed to be getting more and more tired each day, for reasons I was highly unaware of. The bags under his eyes (which had started appearing not too long ago) kept getting darker and darker. I always questioned him about why that was, but he would just brush me off and tell me to focus on dancing. And he would even have a sudden bruise on his arm or something. I would ask him if he was okay, and sometimes, he would respond with something like, "I'm fine."
I know he's lying.
I had always wondered, prior to when he was loosing sleep, whether he was always telling to whole truth. Now, I knew immediately when he was lying. He was really being affected by something, and I had a feeling I knew what it was.
A few nights ago, I was hanging out with Demyx again, as usual. Or, well, more like it used to be usual. We had just been sitting around and talking, like we had always done. I had been seeing less and less of him, though, and every time I saw him, it was like the light in his eyes was slowly fading. He looked… older, almost, and he was always calmer. He was getting sudden bruises on his face, too, like Roxas. Sometimes, with the intention of visiting him, I would simply stand outside the door and listen to him play. It was a sadder, deeper sound, now. It was definitely still as beautiful as it had always been; however, it was not the happy tune I was used to.
And, after I saw Demyx and Roxas' bruises, and paid special attention to Axel, Larxene, and Zexion whenever I got the chance to see them.
Over time, Axel, who had been known for his overall laidback attitude, almost always had his lighter out. Plus, he always seemed on edge no matter what he was doing. Almost no one would try to hit him on the back in a nice, friendly way, because someone said that he had almost burned the last person who did. Plus, last week, he had been walking around school sporting – not a black eye this time – but a huge completely noticeable bruise on the side of his face.
Now Larxene, who had already been temperamental enough, started snapping at everyone, even teachers now. I overheard some of her classmates saying that she had cussed out a teacher after throwing her book at said teacher. Now she had to serve three months of detention. When she was practicing her part that she was performing with Axel for the ball, it sounded violent, when it was supposed to be romantic. The day prior to when I had hung out with Demyx, she looked like she had a busted lip that looked like it hurt.
Zexion, who liked to take his time reading, started going through books faster than usual. Demyx had told me that Zexion only reads really fast when he's either in a bad (and I mean bad) mood or is extremely stressed out and needs a way to let himself go calm down. I don't know which one it was, probably a mix of both. Even Xion commented on how Zexion's playing sounded a little different than usual. Zexion was a melancholic person, usually, but when he played his solo now, Xion told me it was just plain… depressing. Last I saw him, he had a minor limp.
Demyx, who had been trying to busy himself with his playing, suddenly blurted out, "Fights have been breaking out a lot!"
And I just stared at him, "Wh-What?" I stuttered, disbelieving, "Fights? As in, the gang fights? Is that why Rox - you've suddenly started getting bruises?" I demanded, catching myself, as I was about to say Roxas instead, for some reason.
Demyx's expression turned slightly guilty, "I'm sorry for keeping you out of the loop, but Axel said I shouldn't tell you…"
I stared at him levelly, not angrily, but I was a bit upset that they wanted to keep this from me. Roxas, too, "Tell me what's been happening, Demyx. I've been catching onto quite a few things, and I need to know."
Demyx sighed and started his story, like he always did.
Apparently, Hayner had somehow got a hold of Axel's number (I had a feeling Roxas was somehow part of it, whether it was direct or not) and had been calling and texting him, taunting him as much as he possibly could. This had started before the last time I hung out with all of them together, and I guess Axel had just had enough.
They all drove town to the town and found them in the… I think it was called the Struggle Ring? Something like that, I'm sure, but they found them (all of them, including Roxas) down there. Axel had skidded the car to a stop and climbed out, marching over to the group immediately, Larxene hot on his trail. Roxas had looked both surprised and ever so slightly terrified from Demyx's point of view
Axel had demanded to know what Hayner's problem was, and before he could respond, Roxas asked what he was talking about. Axel had explained, and Demyx had described Roxas' expression as "completely, utterly shocked as well as royallypissed off" Roxas turned to Hayner and started yelling at him, and I guess that just made Axel even angrier.
Axel shouted, "What do you think you're doing? Don't even try to protect us! You've been ditching us for them! That's what started this whole thing, genius, so don't try to make yourself look good!"
Roxas had been shocked at that, and I guess Olette got angry with Axel for yelling at her… boyfriend like that, so she yelled at Axel, and Larxene yelled at her for yelling at Axel, etc. The oddest thing was that Roxas had said nothing, he didn't even try to defend Olette, and Demyx had told me that the brunette girl was shocked and even a little saddened at her boyfriend's lack of protectiveness. I almost felt sorry for her, but I just couldn't. I didn't know why, but I knew that I couldn't forgive her, but for what I had no idea. It was just that feeling that I had towards Kairi, that I couldn't quite forgive her, though I never knew why (I forgive her for whatever it is now, though, of course). I had tried to imagine Roxas protecting her, and I felt that pang in my heart again.
Regardless of that, the sitar player told me that Hayner had thrown the first punch, not that that surprised me at all.
So, a fight broke out, and there had been a lot of hitting, bruising, and yelling throughout all of it.
Then Demyx told me about how they had all been coincidentally running into each other. At this I had given him a look, but he swore that it was all seriously a coincidence. The look I was getting from him made me understand that it really was all accidents, their sudden meetings.
He told me about how they fought almost five seconds after they realized they were all there, in the same place, at the same time. Demyx said that Roxas always tried to stop the fighting, oddly, and yelled at everyone to stop, though no one did. He tried to get through to Axel a few times, but Axel simply attacked him, and I kind of understood why.
Axel and Roxas were best friends, the best of friends, really. Now, Roxas almost seemed to be turning his back on him, and that obviously angered him beyond comprehension. He had no other way to show his anger than through fighting, since he couldn't really – legally – burn down buildings… or trees, or anything in general.
But, even if Axel kind of has a liable reason to be angry and fighting and not listening to Roxas, I wished all of this would stop.
It was taking a toll on them all, that much was blindingly obvious, even to the most ignorant person in the world. It was like they were loosing who they really were. They all, every single one of them, were changing into more drastic versions of themselves. Axel's pyromania seemed more prominent than it should be, Larxene was angrier than usual, Zexion… he was… more depressed than usual, and Demyx's emotions were becoming messed up, very much so. To add to this, Roxas seemed to be such a perfectionist that I wondered if it had something to do with everything that was going on. The negative sides of them were becoming more prominent, to the point where everyone except me were afraid of them (Axel and Larxene, anyways), students and teachers alike.
I had wanted to ask Demyx more questions that day, but when I had looked at him again, I immediately knew I shouldn't ask more questions. Demyx looked really upset, so I left the subject alone. I decided to spend a little more time with him before finally deciding that maybe it was best to leave him alone. And so I did, and though I felt a little guilty for just leaving him there, I had no idea what to do.
I wanted to help, in some way, but I had no idea how I could help. I'm just… I'm just me. I don't exactly hold any power in this so-called "war" going on, I wasn't even really part of it. I didn't have that kind of power to stop them from fighting, and I knew it. What could I possibly do? I am just me after all, Naminé Nomura.
I sighed, shaking my head slightly as I slowly walked towards the practice room, prolonging my time spent alone. I took this time to take in the area around me. It was the courtyard, as per usual, but now it was covered in a deep blanket of snow, pure white and – mostly – untouched (it's against school rules to throw snow in the courtyard). It was… beautiful, to say the least. My feet crunched softly in the snow, leaving my (somewhat alarmingly) small footprints behind me.
A sudden, angry shout of, "Sometimes you're so damn stupid!" interrupted the much quieter talk of students around me, most of them heading inside.
I headed the direction I heard the yell, as I recognized the voice almost immediately. It was Hayner, and judging from what he yelling, Roxas was with him. But… what in the world was Hayner doing in this school? He didn't even go to this school. This was private school grounds, too, so this was trespassing.
As I neared where they stood, I came to hear their entire conversation.
"You're still doing this, Roxas? Really? What's the point? You chose us – you chose Olette!" Hayner shouted, his face almost completely red, obviously due to his anger.
Roxas glared at Hayner, it was clear that he didn't want to deal with this. It looked like he got even less sleep last night than usual. "Don't start this again, Hayner. You need to stop annoying them; all of this fighting has to stop! It's not safe for anyone; everyone is suffering because of this! I'm not choosing sides, so stop being a jealous jerk!"
I saw the other blonde's eye twitch in annoyance, "Well, think about Olette then, why don't you? You're hurting her more than anyone–"
"Don't bring our relationship into this!"
"You don't even really protect her, it's like you don't care. What kind of boyfriend are you, Roxas? You don't even care about Olette! These… these things have turned you into some heartless person!"
And then Roxas punched Hayner.
"Stop trying to friggin' guilt trip me, Hayner! It's not fair that you bring Olette into this!" he shouted, his blue eyes burning with a passionate hatred.
His words tugged at my heartstrings, though. How much did he care for Olette? Did he love her? I… I hoped he didn't… I don't know why, but I hoped desperately that he didn't love her. I didn't want him to love her. I… I just… don't. I just don't.
Roxas continued on his rant, though, "Have you ever thought that maybe I don't like her the way she likes me? Have you?" he shouted, and my heart fluttered suddenly, "She's one of my best friends, Hayner!"
"Then why did you agree to go out with her?" the brown-eyed boy bit back.
My dance partner shook his head, "I may be insensitive to girls' feelings sometimes, but that doesn't mean I'm oblivious to them. I've known that Olette has liked me for the longest time, and my own mother said that we would make the perfect couple, but as much as I tried to like her, I couldn't. She was just a friend, this whole time, and she's nothing more to me. But then you guys came along and basically made her ask me out in front of you guys. I kind of had to agree, because you know I could never hurt any of you guys! I have to break up with her sooner or later, though."
Hayner laughed bitterly, "Well, you're such a mama's boy. You wouldn't break up with her because your mommy-dearest would be heart broken."
"I don't have to follow my mom's rules forever, thanks. And, take into account that she hasn't mentioned anything about it for years."
"Well, don't break up with her." Hayner growled.
Roxas raised his eyebrow, "Why?"
"You'll break her heart."
"I know."
Hayner's mouth dropped open, probably in disbelief, "What? Are you suddenly willing to break her heart now? Now you are?" he shouted, obviously getting angry again. "Why? Is it because of that bitch? I thought you broke up with her!"
Roxas' gaze turned cold suddenly, "Don't call Kairi a bitch. I did break up with her, and she's happily in another relationship. I already had to get over that I basically failed her as a boyfriend, and I'm not going back to her. She's extremely happy already, anyways."
The intruder laughed loudly, with an undertone of anger, "Then what is it? Is it another chick?" and he started snickering suddenly.
Roxas was silent.
I sucked in a huge breath.
Hayner stopped snickering.
Everything seemed to get suddenly silent.
Hayner's expression suddenly twisted into another angry look, "Please tell me it's not that stupid and completely vapid dance partner of yours."
Me? I didn't even register the insults that were directed towards me. I felt my heart suddenly swell.
"…"
"Roxas!"
He hesitated again, "No. No it's not."
And then it shattered. It hurt. And I still didn't know why.
Hayner let out a large breath, "Good. You had me worried there for a second, dude. If you're gonna like another girl, at least like one at Twilight Town High, because you're still on our side," Hayner gave him a piercing look, "Right?"
My dance partner looked a little distracted, and even sad for some reason. "Yeah… right…"
Hayner beamed with a smile suddenly. If anyone was bipolar, it was he. "Awesome! See you later, okay, dude?" With that, he walked off.
I stood there for a little longer, staring at him for a little while longer. He looked like he had a complete and total battle raging inside of him, but I didn't get to look much longer, because the weight of what he said suddenly crashed down on me completely, and tears suddenly started running down my face.
I stood quickly, not caring if he saw me, and I ran as quickly as I possibly could away, wiping the tears from my face.
It turns out that he did see me, because he shouted, "Naminé? Naminé, wait!" as I ran as quickly as I possibly could.
I didn't know why, but I ended up running straight to the practice room. Maybe because it was actually normal for me to dance my frustrations away… yeah, that's probably it…
I collapsed on the floor, tired from running. I never was one for running, after all… but I just sat there and cried silently, regardless. I let my tears hit the floor, making it almost sound as if it were raining, almost.
After sitting there alone for a few moments, I suddenly felt strong arms pull me up and into an all-too-familiar start position. When I looked up, I found myself staring into Roxas' eyes, which conveyed sorrow, sadness, and even regret. And, as if a flip were switched, I began dancing the Pas de Duex with Roxas. I felt as if I were on autopilot, though, for some odd reason.
"I'm sorry," he muttered into my ear as we continued dancing together, perfectly in synch, as if we were one person, not two people, "Do you want the truth?" I nodded mutely as we twisted and turned, "I–" and then his phone rang (or course), and he left to go answer it. Stupid phone.
I felt myself wondering what he was about to say; it was just curiosity, really. Not like it would've mattered what he said. Of course it wouldn't. I didn't care. I did not care. I am not in "denial."
Roxas finished his conversation and put his phone away, "Sorry, we have to cut it short. Apparently, a fight broke out."
My heart rate sped up suddenly. "Can I come?" I needed to know if they (being Demyx, Axel, Larxene, and Zexion) were a part of it, and if they were hurt.
Roxas raised an eyebrow at me and shook his head, "It's too dangerous. I'll see you tomorrow," and then he just grabbed his stuff and walked out, not even sparing me a glance.
How could he have been so sweet… and then so cold? He… he was like strawberry ice cream. It was really sweet and you just wanted to eat more and more, and then if you eat too much, you'll get a brain freeze.
… Bipolar, much?
Rei's Rambles:
Hope you guys don't mind the new set up with the notes!
Hm... I suppose this chapter is okay, in my eyes. That's just my opinion, though.
And, a quick note about the Pas de Dux, unless you want to go by the real dance, you can always just go by how it looks in the anime Princess Tutu (I love that anime, dudes)
And I want to give my brand new Beta, GreyPurpleBlack, some love, because she made this story even better (if it was good to begin with)! She caught a lot of my gramatical errors, as well as some awkwardly phrased sentences, and a part that I forgot to write in, but I kept writing, regardless. Sorry I confused you, by the way!!
So, what do you guys think, better with a Beta, or better without? (If you say better without, then that won't really change anything. I'm still keepin' her! She's amazing, thanks!) I personally say better with my Beta, because... it just seems... more complete this way, y'know?
Love you guys, keep on reading!
GreyPurpleBlack's Notes:
I love the simile at the end, with the strawberry ice cream… (Did you ever read Milk and Marshmellows, a Sora and Kairi fanfic? That analogy reminds me of it; both Sora's and Kairi's favorite flavors are strawberry, according to that fanfic. It's a really good fic, so maybe you should read it?) Anyway, I really enjoyed this chapter—Hayner seems a little wacko here, lol. Sorry this took so long, school's been hectic lately.
Later, readers!
Love, Rei and GreyPurpleBlack
Review!
