Part Seven: "Ich Will Was?"
Author's Note: This Chapter is today sponsored by Powergen and Egg Cards.
After two hours of an amazing spectacle of three large German men simultaneously leaping to the window and vomiting heavily, as well as Till slurping up all of the bowls of monkey stew, there was peace. Or at least, there was only peace for those who sat calmly with bad stomachs at the table, Flake having his glasses knocked crookedly to one side.
"Mein Gott! I haven't felt this bad since Paul was mixed up about what Mississippi Mud pies were and brought Schneider a bowl of mud and wriggly things from the bottom of the river. Can't you tell the difference between a monkey and a rabbit?" Flake murmured, holding back as much vomit as possible. But Till merely shrugged, and the others shook their heads in disapproval, they did not seem to notice the ear-splitting screams from the attic, let alone the sound of gnashing rabbits and that of an electric chainsaw. Instead they began to consider everything that had happened.
"Ah well, we can always check out that car place now, can't we?" Till mused happily over the washing up. At this point, Christoph had returned only to go out again with Doppelkopf that evening. This was of course after a trip to the hospital for reconstructive surgery to his feet and re-attaching his ears after an accident with Paul and some electrical drilling equipment!
"What?" Ollie questioned as he trudged toward the washing line outside. As he took down the skins of the rabbits, and set-light to the monkey skin in case the IUCN turned up, he was interrupted as he hummed the bass-beat. This was because a random white ewe, possibly some English breed that had escaped off a freight train, had appeared by the now missing back-garden gate. He assumed it was English because it was both pregnant and he did not normally see sheep dressed with bandanas, strapped in grenades, or carrying a knife in its jaws. No, only the Norwegian Killer Sheep had ever done this, and that was through a governmental conspiracy only three young Norwegian ladies had informed them of…..
"That company that does car coverage in the UK for only…" But before Flake could finish his advertisement for the AA, Till had shoved a rabbit skin in his mouth. It was not only to save them from the annoyance of adverts but also because he enjoyed watching the little man cry over his dead pets. They had failed to notice the splotch of blood pooling on the ceiling above them, nor the dripping on the white tablecloth, which was spelling out Doppelkopf with a vast number of exclamation points.
"Calm down Lucy! The sheep won't hurt you! Awe! Now you've chased her off! Wait! COME BACK LUCY!" Ollie was screaming as he ran out of the back garden after his precious pet llama. In this moment, Richard stood up and walked out to spot the cloves of garlic and random crucifix necklaces of silver placed around the rabbit hutches. As he leant closer to stare at the glowing red eyes of the vampiric New Zealand Whites, there was a loud crash and splash in the background.
Richard turned back to see that the kitchen roof had exploded in a puddle of blood on top of Till and Flake. Ollie skated back into the garden looking sad, but both of the men looked at the odd red swimming pool in the kitchen. Where Flake was squealing in terror and ranting about the truth over the bogeyman, ghosts, ghouls, and poltergeists, as well as many fictional creations from horror films, Till was enjoying swimming in laps whilst spitting out fountains of blood, seemingly unnerved by what was going on around him. The strange occurrences had begun to take their toll on the band, and the finger of blame was crookedly bending around Schneider. They were not angry at their band-mate of course, though Christoph was a little loopy from time-to-time; instead it was this strange woman he was courting. They did not trust Frau Doppelkopf, and with good reason!
For Christoph and Doppelkopf, the cinema should have healed both prospects and opportunities for them both, but it wasn't so. The seats around them stank of garlic that was being flung at them, and every so often a silver pendant whacked Christoph around the ear. On occasion he would pause from watching the werewolf film and lean in to kiss his woman, but he was always interrupted. Sitting further back in the aisles was Paul, blinking a flash-light into Christoph's eyes to stop him from kissing. It was upsetting Christoph, Doppelkopf, and the albinos who were sitting in front of Paul and trying to keep the short guitarist from stealing their popcorn.
"Look Christoph," The harsh woman hissed into the ears of the drummer. "You don't need this trouble, there's more you can achieve without the others. After-all, you want to be happy right?"
"Ich Will!" Christoph sniggered. Luckily the dark cinema meant he could not see the rolling eyes.
"You want money too?" She questioned again.
"Ich Will!" He responded.
"You want power?"
"Ich Will!"
"You want recognition?"
"Ich WILL!"
"You want Paul to stop calling you a werewolf and screaming about you trying to eat his liver?"
"ICH WILL!" Christoph almost screamed.
"You want to destroy Rammstein, don't you?" She purred evilly into his ears.
"ICH WILL… WAS?!" Christoph coughed. What had she said just then? But Doppelkopf refused to repeat herself and instead insisted on Christoph doing her a tiny little favour….
"Where are we going Christoph? Where are we going?" Till questioned as he stuck his head outside the car window. He stuck his tongue out with the wind and looked out at the blank land around them. Paul was tied up to a baby-seat, with Richard and Flake making fun of him and his werewolf fears, whilst Ollie was tied down to the roof-rack of the car to make some more space.
"To a warehouse near a train track to watch a movie and get drunk!" Christoph smiled, but he was nervous. He still could not hook his mind around what Doppelkopf had asked him if he wanted it.
On arrival to the warehouse, Christoph let his friends inside and paced toward the door again. He needed to get the DVD off of Doppelkopf, and she was waiting on a hill a little way away. With Christoph gone the gang began to inspect their party-place. Their noses wrinkled at the scent of petrol and there was a lot of dynamite scattered around, but it was very old warehouse! What should they expect?
Instead their eyes zoomed in upon the Vodka and booze bottles around a lonely table-top. There was a lot of it and they began to down as much of it as they could before Christoph came back. Then Paul noticed the strange black box next to it, a radio! He pressed the play button very carefully and turned the volume up quite high, low and behold a party-tune was on. Straight away the band started to dance drunkenly in a circle, Paul placing his jacket over his head and doing crazy impression. The music beat out around them, growing louder as they danced to it, the song was "Dragostea Din Tei", a once popular Romanian song commonly known as the "Numa, Numa" song. But the gang were starting to feel a little disorientated, and above the jolly sounds, they could not hear the background ticking, and then it was too late….
KABOOM! Or BANG, BANG!
Coming Soon – Part 8: Train Trouble / Doppelkopf Revealed
Are Rammstein Dead?
Did Doppelkopf plan this? (Well, DUH!)
Was Christoph in on it?
Plus the true identity of Doppelkopf is revealed?
And a cameo from the bloke that played Neo in the Matrix and is the same age as my dad….. (Whatever his name is)
