Author's Notes: I'm baaack! Woo! Sorry for the extremely late update. For the past days, I've been trying to compose myself to write in this account again. And to make matters worse, I was grounded from using the computer so... I had to stick to a notebook and pen. Even if I said that this story is already finished, the chapters still need to be re-checked of ugly loose ends and horrible grammar. (:)) So that explains the wait, okie? I'm actually glad with the amount of interested readers of this story! I apologize for the alerts. I was supposedly deleting files in my documents manager, but since I was quite absentminded that time, I didn't know I was deleting the chapters from the story itself! Gah... I had to repost everything again. (:() Sorry for the confusion. Anywho! This is the longest author's notes in the history of my author's notes so... I have to cut it here now. Hope you enjoy and find this chapter worth the wait!
Read on!
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Every man is afraid of something. That's how you know he's in love with you; when he is afraid of losing you.
- Anonymous
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|VII: Blooming Blaze|
Ryoma's eyes snapped open instantly.
It was a bit of a blur to be immediately exposed to some huge bright ball of orange light just a mere distance away from him. But his vision adjusted properly not long after, where in he was reminded that it was a dark and stormy night, and had decided to stay in church to think things over… alone.
Sudden shifting under his chin caused his eyes to widen slightly.
Or not.
Leaning his head away from the source of some unknown weight, he was surprised to see a sleeping Sakuno tucked beside him comfortably, her head still lolling to his throat and her warm hand clasped with his. The auburn-head looked like an angel in her state of peace. He was quite hesitant to tuck some of the stray hair sticking out, but he eventually relented.
It left him quite indecisive of what to do, having Ryuuzaki Sakuno tangled with him so comfortably. He wasn't going to deny that he found it quite relaxing and it soothed him to some extent. But the fact that Sakuno was in church which he was so sure he was alone in a while ago made the gears in his mind work full-time again.
Was he going to push her away? Or let it be?
The comfort Sakuno was giving him was clogging him mind to think properly.
He sighed.
Then that would mean he could give in.
When he said that he wanted to experience solitude that did not only mean isolation from any unwanted company, but solitude of the mind and heart from what he had clung to all these years. He wanted to feel joy. He wanted to know how to break free from what was holding him back to enjoy life to full extent.
"Why are you always smiling?"
"Because I'm happy…"
"But you're just a baker… was that all you wanted all your life?"
Considering his tactless statement, despite having Sakuno labeled as 'just a baker', she was a far greater and more venerable person than he. She was someone who managed to survive life without a worrisome attitude, living with the flow. Despite problems, the girl managed to keep a smile on her face as if there was absolutely nothing to be sad about.
He would have snorted in disgust for the act. But Sakuno was the exact girl who seemed to be the key into easing his problems. Admittedly, Ryoma had never felt the same closeness to anyone ever before.
"To move on is something really helpful to overcome the past…"
That was what Ryoma was having a difficult time doing. To move on. And he inferred that Sakuno may be the only one to help him in this.
Just when Ryoma was thinking such things over, Sakuno began shifting under him again, causing him to suddenly feel panicked with whatever the auburn-head would think in finding him awake and just letting their position be. Before he could even decide, Sakuno's soft voice had drained all thoughts from his mind.
"E-Echizen-kun?"
Ryoma didn't know whether he should remain silent or respond. He chose the latter.
"Hn?"
Sakuno instantly stiffened at his response and at the assurance that he was awake.
Now that bothered Ryoma for some reasons.
It was silent for several minutes, neither knowing what to do nor how to act, now that they knew the other was awake. No one even tried moving away from their position, for both found comfort in each other's presence. And that's what made the silence even more awkward.
The longer the silence lasted, the more unnerving it appeared to Sakuno. But her mouth remained shut, now knowledgeable of how incredibly far she was from Ryoma. It gave her the thought of whether remaining so close to the boy was such a good idea. She was a mere baker who was grasping for someone as high as Echizen Ryoma. Who was she to cross such boundaries? What could she possibly offer?
"Why aren't you talking?"
Sakuno's anxiety immediately turned to empathy. She noted down the intonation in Ryoma's voice.
Sorrowful. Confused. Lonely.
A flare of courage emerged inside of her. Her status did not matter in these kinds of things. It wasn't a measly baker to an all-powerful vice-president interaction. It was an equal to equal interaction… a friend to friend kind of thing.
Ryoma needed her.
Sakuno removed her head from his throat to look up at the boy gazing down at her. She blushed at the proximity of their faces, but did not back away. She merely smiled as if to soothe him, to tell him that she was going to be with him. It was an open invitation; an offer to find solace through sharing a burden.
Why would Ryoma let things that could relieve him just pass away? In business, grab as much opportunities if you can. He could apply that principle to his sorrowful state right now. He wouldn't deny that he needed refuge.
"Are you alright?" she asked softly.
"Are you alright?" he shot right back.
Sakuno blushed at the reminder of her fainting. "…you were there then."
Ryoma looked away, on the other hand, reminded of Ryoga. "Hn."
Sakuno softly sighed and took his response as a 'yes'. She didn't pursue bringing up a conversation about the party, knowing that she would be walking on thin ice if ever such conversation ensued. She was aware that Ryoma needed time, but she also knew that he needed something that could ease his burden.
The next few moments were filled with silence.
Despite the apparent boldness she was displaying, her heart continued to beat rapidly as she regarded how terribly close she was with the boy. What made her heart jump even more with joy was the fact that Ryoma had not pushed her away. It was as if he was actually accepting whatever silent offer she was making him think she was suggesting.
Sakuno was going to be there for him. That was her compromise.
She continued staring at their hands. She blushed upon noticing that Ryoma's hand was actually intertwined with hers. Did he do that while she fell asleep? She could feel the intense warmth creeping on her face. When she involuntarily squeezed his hand, Ryoma stiffened and was obviously broken from his thoughts. Sakuno panicked that he was indeed going to push her away now.
"Why are you here?"
Sakuno glanced up, only to meet Ryoma's searching golden orbs. She found it quite hard to breathe for a moment when she found her face just a mere distance away from him again. Their hands remained in tack though… which greatly relieved her.
Braving herself up, she did not look away. Her gaze did not even waver. "I want to help…"
His gaze turned skeptical. "How?" he whispered. Sakuno could feel his breath on her cold cheek. "Tsk. You don't even understand—" redeem
"I will if you tell me, Echizen-kun," Sakuno interjected, her own breath touching Ryoma's suddenly bewildered face. "I will… just as long as you're willing. P-Please do not build up walls around yourself and continue living in a world that's dark and cold… Life can offer you much more than that, just as long as you yourself step out of it or at least let something redeem you from such perspective." A small smile started to grace Sakuno's lips, her courage increasing every passing moment. "Not everyone would take away something from you, nor had everything been taken away from you… There are other people who care… I-I care." She broke the eye contact when surprise flashed through Ryoma's eyes. She could feel her cheeks burning up. "A-And you should know that things you've never imagined can be given to you, too—"
She stopped midway when Ryoma suddenly pulled his hand away and moved farther from Sakuno. The auburn-head couldn't quite comprehend why Ryoma had done so, then leaving her into a state of confusion. He placed a shaky hand over his eyes and murmured, "I'm tired… I'm not really in the mood to deal with all this."
"I see…" Sakuno's eyes were suddenly downcast, her lips set into a thin line.
Ryoma noticed the change of reaction, but kept his mouth shut. Instead, he stood up from the floor. Sakuno did not look up. He sighed and without sparing another moment, started to head towards the door.
"W-What are you afraid of… Echizen-kun?"
Ryoma stopped in his tracks.
Sakuno gained more courage when she knew he had his ears. "Why… are you pushing yourself away… thinking that you can survive whatever it is that you are experiencing alone? I-Is it still pride that's keeping you from accepting help—"
"Shut up."
Sakuno froze.
Ryoma's eyes contained a kind of fire she had never seen before, tainting his usually blank golden orbs. So… she made him angry. For the first time of being alone with the cool and calculated Echizen Ryoma, she feared him. She realized that for the first time, she had crossed the border of personal space. Why was it that she was so persistent in helping him when he obviously didn't want someone anyway?
Because I love him...
"N-No!" She stood up.
Ryoma became surprised.
"You have suffered too much already! Do you know how much it pains me to—to see you get hurt with reasons I do not know? T-To see you… unhappy… and unsmiling…" She couldn't suppress the unshed tears she had kept the moment she laid eyes on Ryoma that evening. "I-I can help…" Her sobs filled the darkened walls of the church.
Ryoma's intent gaze never left her face. His eyebrows knotted. "Why…?" was his soft whisper.
Sakuno lifted her gaze up and wiped the stray tears around her puffy eyes. She mustered enough courage to speak. "W-What do you mean 'why', Echizen-kun…?" she asked.
Evident confusion now crossed Ryoma's eyes. "Why do you care so much when nobody ever cared before?"
Sakuno remained silent.
With the lack of response, Ryoma stormed towards the suddenly startled Sakuno. He gripped the girl's arms and started shaking her. "I don't get you… Why are you so different from everyone else that you start making me act different, too," Ryoma's eyebrows were still knotted, his voice laced with bewilderment. "What are you trying to do to me? How come I've never been so afraid until now?"
Sakuno's eyes widened as a big boulder of realization hit her.
The two gazed at each other for a long time, neither breaking the eye contact. It's as if both wanted to understand through reading each other's gazes. As Sakuno felt Ryoma begin to relax, with newly-found courage, she slowly lifted her hand and placed it on the boy's cheek. With that one gesture, she gambled. If Ryoma pushed her away, then that was the last straw… she would give up. But if he didn't, then she knew he was the one who gave in…
She was aware that Ryoma needed someone stronger than him now. It wouldn't be helpful if she'd break down because of the emotions she could feel from the boy himself. Nothing would be gained if both were at a weakened state. The reason why God made everyone different – some stronger and weaker in particular areas – was so that people could complement each other. More importantly the stronger fighting for the weaker. The stronger lifting the weaker up. The stronger molding the weaker into someone stronger, too.
Ryoma fluttered his eyes close.
Sakuno smiled as she knew she had won.
"Tell me... Tell me... what happened... And share the burden so that you wouldn't have to wallow in a dark and cold world anymore..."
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Standing in front of a doorstep lined with rose pots and a Venetian rug wasn't the least comforting to her present turmoil. She was shaking. She was sweating. Her heart was palpitating so wildly that she was sure it would really jump out of her chest any moment. She was going to enter Echizen Ryoma's domain… alone. With him.
"What are you doing just standing there?"
Sakuno was snapped from her momentary trance, only to find the previously locked oak doors now wide open.
It was as if a picture from a celebrity magazine came to life with the artistry and comfort of the flat of Prince's Inc. valued Vice President. She felt Ryoma's hand on the small of her back which gently pushed her in. There was a bar and a kitchenette on the right side, and a living room furnished with two love seats facing a thirty-six-inch plasma hanging from the ceiling on the opposite. There were two doors on the wall near the living room, probably leading to the master and guest bedroom.
"Like it?"
Sakuno turned to a smirking Ryoma, who most likely found hilarity in her amusement.
"Well… it is my first time to be in a place like this…" she replied with red on her cheeks. She gazed at Ryoma and chuckled at her naivety lightly.
There was silence right after, as Sakuno remained smiling at a still highly amused-looking Ryoma.
The auburn-head cleared her throat and broke the awkwardness. "U-Uhm… Just so you know… I'm still against me being in here. My grandmother would worry to death and… I find it highly inappropriate to cause you much trouble after everything that happened..." she trailed off when she realized that Ryoma's back was now facing her. "Echizen-kun."
Ryoma looked over his shoulder. "Hn?"
Sakuno blushed. "Uhm… Were you listening?"
"No."
The sky grumbled.
Sakuno sighed.
She was sure that Ryoma wouldn't allow her to win for the second time. He reasoned out that it was impossible to get a cab in such a horrible weather and that the roads that led to her village were flooded, so she had no choice but to stay with him. He seemed to savor that fact and secretly thanked the heavens for the rain. Little did he know, that there was a part of her that wanted it, too.
"Shall we pray?"
Ryoma nodded and followed Sakuno into kneeling right in front of the altar. Before Sakuno could say her first words of prayer though, Ryoma muttered, "I hope I won't wake up tomorrow with this on the front page."
Sakuno smiled and then nodded without hesitation.
That night's exchange was a secret between them only. But the auburn-head was sure that the fruit would sooner or later be reaped by others, too. Right after Ryoma was able to remove his burden, things had become different. It was as if it was by fate that the two were to meet once more in that seemingly hopeless night, for one soul to be born again. Ryoma poured out his everything to her. He trusted her. And she swore not to do anything that would break that.
"You can use the bathroom first... you're wetter than I am."
Sakuno broke from her reverie and gratefully smiled at her benefactor for the evening.
"T-Thank you—"
"No." Ryoma shook his head.
Sakuno grew startled.
He smirked. "Thank you."
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The hot water trickling down her cold skin made her feel as if she was drifting in cloud 9. It soothed her to such a great extent that all her worries for the evening were washed away like the soap suds mounting on the tiles of the shower stall. In a matter of a few minutes, she was finished with her bath. Right after wrapping the white fluffy towel around her slim body, she heaved a sigh when she realized that she left her clothes in the dryer.
Suddenly, there was a light knock on the door.
"Yes?"
But there was no response.
Curious, she quickly grabbed the bathrobe neatly folded on the counter before slowly opening the bathroom door. She smiled at what she saw.
Lying on the carpeted floor were her previously damp clothes, alongside a pair of silk pajamas.
Then she turned flaming red when she saw her undergarments innocently peeping from the pile.
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"What are you doing?"
Sakuno turned her head to wear the voice came from, only to find her face burning for the second time that night. Standing right in front of her, was Echizen Ryoma in only a pair of black jogging pants, with water from his hair dripping down his sleek torso. She ogled for a few more moments, unaware of the predatory smirk lingering on the said boy's face.
"What are you doing?" Ryoma repeated.
Sakuno looked up to see Ryoma's intent gaze on her. She gulped, but found her voice not long after. "I-I'm going to bed…" she replied softly.
Ryoma raised an eyebrow. "In my study room?"
Sakuno turned a darker shade of red, her gaze shifting from Ryoma to the thought-to-be-guestroom door, back and forth. "S-Sorry for inferring that I'll be using one of your rooms!" she bowed her head. "I-I'll be off to the couch then!" Just when she was about to head to the living room area, a firm hand grasped her wrist, bringing her back to where she was standing previously.
… And then was gently slammed on the wall, with Ryoma's body hovering hers and his arms on each side of her face, pinning her in place.
Her breath hitched. Her heart raced like never before. She could feel the boy's intent gaze on her quivering lips, the look in his eyes making a shiver run down her spine. She was cornered.
"E-Echizen-kun—?"
"Ryoma."
She could feel the warmth and smell mint from his breath. Sakuno acquired enough willpower not to meet the boy's gaze for she knew that if he looked up… she was done for.
"R-Ryoma-kun…" she gulped when she felt one of his hands slide down her cheek, his touch feather-like. "Are you alright?"
"What made you think I'm not alright…?" he replied huskily, his thumb brushing the curve of her lips. "You changed everything… did you not? You offered me things I have always wanted…" He stopped his ministrations when he saw the flicker of fear in her eyes. "Are you taking back what you said?" he muttered so low that it was blatant he was afraid of her answer.
Sakuno's heart cracked with the boy's subtle undertone.
She clutched the starting to slip hand of his, placing it back on her cheek. She mustered enough courage to return Ryoma's gaze, holding it in place for as long as she could.
"There is nothing to fear…" she whispered lovingly, bringing her face towards the soothed young man. As her lips inched towards his face, she hesitated locking his with her own… and settled for a soft one on his cheek. "I'll never ever let you go..."
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"U-Uhm... Are you sure you're alright on the floor?"
"Ya."
"B-But you know I can stay there..."
"Stop being annoying."
Sakuno sighed and shifted positions on the bed for the tenth time that evening. After the unexpected confrontation in the hallway, Ryoma insisted that Sakuno sleep in his bedroom for better comfort, rather than stay on the couch of the living room. Reasoning out that she was a guest (and a lady at that!), he said that it would be absolutely fine if he slept in his room.
Since when was Echizen Ryoma a gentleman?
"Hey."
Sakuno peered over Ryoma's hunched form on the floor. "Did you change your mind now?" she asked expectantly, already preparing to stand up.
"I can stay there unless you want to sleep with me…"
His words froze her in place, her face instantly flaming up.
Ryoma turned to her with his cool gaze, noting down her redness. "Ne. Don't deny it…" An impish smirk found its way on his face. "I know you want to…"
Sakuno shook her head vigorously. "W-What are you talking about, R-Ryoma-kun? I-I only agreed to sleep in your room because you insisted and if you wanted the bed you could have just said so in the first place—"
"Why did you hesitate to kiss me a while ago?" Ryoma propped his head on one of his elbows, his gaze never leaving a very flustered Sakuno.
"Because it's wrong..."
Ryoma's eyes widened at her words. "Why is it wrong?"
Sakuno looked away, embarrassed. "B-Because… it's like I'm taking advantage of your weakened state…"
Ryoma 'tsk-ed' at her choice of words. "Who're you calling weak…" he muttered, slightly offended. "You'll help me 'til the end, right?" he prodded determined.
Sakuno nodded without second thoughts.
"What if it's a kiss I need?"
Sakuno's head snapped towards Ryoma who had an expectant gaze on. "W-What?"
Ryoma was sitting on the floor now.
"Kiss me."
Everything happened so fast, that Sakuno suddenly found herself pinned under Ryoma. His green hair tickled the sides of her face, his knees tucked at each side of her legs, and his hands firmly placed her arms on top of her head. His face hovered on top of hers, the distance only a breath away.
"You'll help me, won't you?" he breathed on her lips. "I tell you… this is what I need now…"
Without a moment's hesitation, Sakuno obliged. She gingerly lifted her head up, meeting Ryoma's open lips with hers. The kiss started off languidly, the sweetness savored in each other's mouth. When Ryoma's hands found their way inside her loose shirt, Sakuno's hands involuntarily wound up around Ryoma's neck, bringing him closer. Ceasing for oxygen for a few moments, the two gazed into each other's eyes before Ryoma proceeded. He started giving open-mouth kisses on her neck, nipping and sucking sensually.
"Were you ever this warm before...?" she asked softly while tangling her fingers in Ryoma's silken hair.
"No," he replied while digging in for another passionate kiss.
"So you mean… you're still a..." Sakuno trailed off with wide surprised eyes.
Ryoma laughed. A genuine laugh. Sakuno smiled at the wonder of the sound. "I've brought home several women when I got drunk…" he replied, causing blatant disappointment to cross Sakuno's face. He smiled smugly when that happened. "But they were just flings to meet certain needs… Tsk. Now you got me out of the mood…" He slumped himself right beside Sakuno, aware of the deepening disappointment of the girl from his peripheral vision.
Just when he expected her to pounce on him for stopping, she slowly scooted herself away from him, giving him enough space to settle in. "Well… I'm glad to be of help."
"Ne, were you actually expecting more?" He smirked.
"No…" She blushed at her next few words. "B-But I would if you needed it to uplift a load..." Then she turned the opposite direction. "...And I knew that you didn't do that for no apparent reason."
Ryoma's eyebrows shot up. She knew?
"… I'm not playing…"
And then there was silence.
Ryoma plopped his head on the pillow beside Sakuno's, his look contemplative as he gazed at the ceiling. "Heh. I knew you were sincere with your promise…" Everything you've done for me was enough proof... "I just wanted to see your reaction and learn how far you'll go with it."
"Now you're the one playing with my emotions," Sakuno muttered from under the blankets. "That's not funny."
Ryoma merely smirked, elated at the fact that Sakuno was attracted to him just as he was to her.
There was silence.
"Are you attending church from now on?" Sakuno's voice pierced through the silence.
Ryoma eyed the auburn-head's expectant look from his peripheral vision. "... I'll still think about it... I'll most probably be busy for the next few days with the mess I left tonight." He shrugged.
Sakuno sighed, but knew better than to get all what she wanted from him in one night. Making him let go was enough for the mean time. "Alright," she replied with a warm smile before facing the opposite direction once more.
"Uhm... E-Echizen-kun..."
Ryoma looked at the blushing Sakuno from the corner of his eye.
"Do you believe in miracles?"
"No."
Sakuno looked slightly downcast. "But... do you believe that prayers can be answered?"
Ryoma thought for a moment. He glanced at Sakuno, who looked awfully hopeful, that he was swerved to a mumbled, "Maybe."
Sakuno smiled, gaining enough courage to pursue her stand. "Uhm... Well, remember the prayer I prayed to the altar the last time we were here together?" she asked softly. Ryoma nodded in spite of his confusion with what Sakuno was getting at. "I prayed that it would come to the point where you'll break free from your own protective barrier that hinders anyone to get to know you..."
Sakuno looked like a tomato-head now.
"...and it actually came true, right?" She turned to Ryoma who looked deep in thought. "Ryoma-kun… Are you ready to put your faith in God that everything will go alright?" Sakuno forced herself to muster enough courage to face Ryoma who appeared to be like a lost child for a moment. "Are you?" she pressed on.
Ryoma remained silent, still indecisive.
"If you... trust me in this," Sakuno paused as she gazed at the boy intently now. Red was still on her cheeks though. "… and to God of course, you'll be lifting a heavy burden from you… one that you have carried upon your shoulders all through these years. A-And that's what you like, right? To break free and experience life's joy after all the anger you have felt all through the years…" Sakuno kept her voice from faltering.
"Ryoma-kun…"
Sakuno looked expectantly at Ryoma who she knew was on the verge of telling his answer.
"Yes."
Sakuno's face brightened as she hugged Ryoma on impulse. It was such a warm feeling… hugging Echizen Ryoma. Sakuno broke free from her hold soon enough and smiled brightly at the boy.
"Sakuno…"
He shifted his gaze to the now asleep auburn-head beside him. Her slow and peaceful breathing was music to his ears that he couldn't help but get more of it. Carefully, he inched his way towards the sleeping girl, grasping for her hand to entwine it with his. Without thinking, he planted a soft kiss on her knuckles. As he neared deep slumber, the care and affection Ryuuzaki Sakuno made him feel danced in his thoughts, comforting him.
"W-What are you afraid of... Echizen-kun?"
He had been afraid because of one sole reason. If he fell so deep… he'd be afraid to suffer the consequences of losing her.
He didn't want to repeat the past experience of putting his complete trust on someone when it would end up as a deep hurt for him. But throughout the night, he saw her persistence and sincerity in helping him change his perspective of the world. To melt his ice and rekindle the inner passions he has.
"I'll never ever let you go…"
His eyes fluttering his close, his grip on Sakuno's hand eventually loosened. But just as his hand was about to fall limp on the bed, the auburn-head entwined it with hers once more, clasping in near to her heart. With the final sensation before crossing the border of dream land, a smile flitted on Echizen Ryoma's face for the very first time after years of wallowing in the past.
As the two slept, their hands remained intact.
Ryuuzaki Sakuno indeed never let go.
|TBC|
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Author's Notes: FINALLY POSTED THIS! I've added lots of stuff here. I actually cut the original chapter 7 because the previous one made things so fast paced. At least with the new additions in this chapter, I was able to delve deeper into their thoughts and up their relationship a notch. Not girlfriend/boyfriend yet… But getting there. :) Hope you enjoyed it! Please tell me what you think!
Up next: Ryoma's complete transformation! Yay! More revelations I guess…
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Reviews are appreciated. Constructive Criticisms are loved. Flames are ignored.
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