Disclaimer: Written under the derivative fan works act. All rights reserved to the original creator, Stephanie Meyer.

Title: You Can't Always Get What You Want

Rating: M for sexual situations, lemons, and hot, steamy, angsty vampire lovin', underage drinking, smoking, drug use and overall bad behavior.

Premise: Alternate Universe. Edward leaves Bella after their intimate relationship blossoms during the summer after Twilight. Bella is left to face the consequences of loving a vampire as her life changes drastically. OCC ExB Lemons

Alternate Universe: Canon pairings eventually, pretty much OOC, ExB of course.

POV: BPOV (Bella), Bella starts the story. Edward and Alice may have a say later on.

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Author Notes:

Please note that this story is rated M for a reason, if you'd prefer not to deal with mature themes, please do not read this story.

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Chapter 7 Working Girl

The first couple of months passed in a blur as we settled into the routine of our new lives.

Elizabeth became the center of my universe and everything I did revolved around her. She changed daily before my eyes as her rapid growth matched the rate that she'd developed at before she was born.

At one week old, Elizabeth said her first word, "Momma". I knew she was advanced, but I wasn't expecting it so soon. What shocked me was that it was immediately followed by her first sentence. "Momma, can I change the channel?"

Apparently she had outgrown Muppets, and was bored by the repetitive nature of the children's program. It wasn't like I was neglecting her and letting the TV act as baby sitter, but I had honestly thought she enjoyed the children's television. I let her watch it while I cleaned the cabin because it seemed like a good way for her to learn about letters, numbers and basic vocabulary concepts. I handed her the remote that I had picked up and moved back onto the table out of her reach. She proceeded to rapidly flip through the channels until she found something more interesting on the National Geographic channel.

At fewer than three weeks, she could walk. There were no tentative first steps or period of pulling up as she clumsily attempted to mimic Renée and me. She shocked me again when I asked her if she was ready to go hunt, and she sprang up and danced across the room in a graceful pirouette to meet me at the door instead of waiting for me to come pick her up. She had been watching dancers on TV, and had flawlessly copied their movements.

Her diet matched Renée's more closely than it did mine, although all three of us lived on a diet of almost exclusively blood. Elizabeth and Renée both ate some of the meat from their kills, but I was unable to. I tried it once, but it was disgusting, and I was forced to choke back up the bits I had managed to swallow. Renée experimented with bringing home some of the meat and cooking it. She could eat it and seemed to enjoy it, but Elizabeth had taken a couple of experimental bites, and then turned up her nose and refused to eat anymore. It didn't come back up, and I was fairly certain she could eat human food if she wanted to, but she seemed to prefer blood and liked her meat raw.

At three months old, Elizabeth could pass for a big one year old or even a small two year-old although she moved and reacted like a much more developed much older child. At this point in her development, she could speak perfectly, run, dance, and even read. I was as proud of her achievements as any new mother, but it worried me. If I was totally honest, it scared the piss out of me.

My new faster brain could easily extrapolate what this rate of growth meant. If it continued like this and she continued to develop like a human child but at a vastly accelerated rate, she would live her entire life from birth, through maturity and finally death from old age in less than fifteen years. Renée and I tracked her progress and growth rate as best we could, but that didn't really do much for us except allow us to document how fast she was changing. Her rate of growth and change seemed to be gradually slowing by infinitesimal fractions of an inch each day, but it was still wildly accelerated compared to normal human development. We couldn't take her to a doctor, even if we had been capable of being around humans, but thankfully she had never been sick a day in her life.

Perhaps if we knew where the Cullens were, they might have some answers for us, but I had no clue where to even begin looking for them. I wasn't sure I even wanted to find them anymore if I had been able to start a search. I was sure Carlisle would find all of this remarkably interesting, and Edward might have had some interest in helping his daughter, but they had abandoned us to our fate and we were on our own. I felt certain that Alice would have seen what was happening to us by now, and if they'd cared about us, they would have come looking for us.

As it was, I couldn't even go into town to buy clothes for Elizabeth that would fit her. She had long since outgrown everything Renée had bought for her before she was born. We could have shopped online, but Renée and I were both afraid of what would happen if a delivery showed up unexpectedly, and we were caught off guard by a deliveryman. She hadn't needed diapers since she was three weeks old, but we didn't have any underwear that would fit her. I had taken to dressing her in my t-shirts with a tie around the waist so they fit her like a long tunic dress. It would have to do until we could handle being around people enough to shop for her.

We knew better than to go too far from the cabin during the day. We hunted mainly at night when we knew it would be unlikely that we'd run across humans and be tempted again by the scent of their blood. It was early February now, and the snow lay heavy on the ground and trees in the forest around the cabin. That reduced the likelihood that we'd accidently run into any humans that might come up to check on the property.

We could hear the snow plows out on the highway after a storm would blow through. There were the occasional car or truck that drove by, but we had never bothered to clear the snow from the driveway in an attempt to discourage visitors. Most people would assume the property was vacant if there was no sign that anybody ever left or visited. We didn't have to worry about somebody coming out to read a gas meter because we had our own propane tank, but we still used electricity from the local power company, and eventually somebody would be by to read the electric meter. We were hoping they'd wait until the spring thaw to come out and compare it to what they were billing us for.

The mailbox was down on the highway, so we didn't need to worry about the postman coming up to the house. The car would stop at the mailbox at infrequent intervals, mainly to drop off the utility bill statements and a thin stream of junk mail addressed to current resident. I generally waited until I had finished hunting before I went to collect the mail. I used a circuitous route so I wouldn't leave any footprints leading to or from the cabin that the casual passerby would be able to see. Of course this led me to follow long stretches of the highway as I moved along the shoulder of the road when it was time to collect the mail.

Naturally the mail collection duty fell to me. I had better control and it was easier for me to handle the scent of human blood. Renée avoided the highway like the plague. She knew what would happen if she caught a whiff of human scent. We'd been lucky since that incident on our first hunt, and hadn't run across any humans in the forest, but that was mainly because we were careful.

We'd made the mistake of crossing the highway once while hunting in our first couple of weeks. We'd gotten overconfident in our abilities because we'd been lucky so far. Renée had caught the hours old scent of humans from a passing car. She had bolted like an over eager pup that had slipped its lead and chased the scent down the highway for five miles before I caught her. I'm sure it would have been a sight if anyone was around to see, Renée running flat out down the center of the ice covered highway with me in hot pursuit until I could catch her and tackle her. The funny thing was I didn't have to hold my breath that time.

I rationalized that I was already developing some control to withstand the bloodlust. I'd been able to stop myself from hunting humans that first time, and while the scent made my throat burn and venom pool in my mouth, I wasn't a mindless savage slavering after my prey intent on murder at the first opportunity.

I had a theory about that. It was only a theory, and I was loath to test it, but I realized early on that it was something I was going to have to work on soon. I rationalized that the typical newborn reacted the way they did because they woke up to this new life completely unaware of what to expect. The newly enhanced senses, the bloodlust and intense desire to feed, the survival instincts, and the sudden loss of the majority of their human memories had to be an extremely traumatic episode in their existence. The majority of the Cullens had all gone through exactly that. None of them had gone in with their eyes open and wanted the change before it happened.

What had happened to me was completely different. I knew what to expect, and was prepared for almost everything that had happened. Granted, I wasn't expecting to get pregnant and I had expected the Cullens to be there for me when I was changed, but the fact of the matter was that I had gone into this with my eyes open, and I had wanted this before I was changed. I knew what to expect. I knew what was happening and why most of the time. If my theory was correct, that was giving me an edge at staying in control and managing my bloodlust.

I knew I was going to have to start testing my control and learn how to be around people without killing them, and I was going to have to do it soon. There were things that we needed that we'd have to be around people to get or do.

For one thing, Renée still missed Phil terribly, and one of us was going to have to be able to meet with him face to face and explain what had happened. Renée still talked to him on the phone all the time but it had gotten progressively harder to make excuses why she couldn't go back home to be with him. She couldn't bring herself to breakup with him over the phone. They were married after all, and she loved him dearly, but she wouldn't tell him where we were either.

The excuses that the baby was sick, and I still needed her were getting pretty thin after three months, and he had to expect that something was going on. If she was ever going to have any kind of future with Phil, we were going to have to explain to him what had happened, and offer him the chance to either join us or go on with his life without us. It was harder and harder for Renée to keep stringing him along, and it wasn't fair to Phil.

I had talked to Charlie on the phone a couple of times. I hadn't told him anything or where I was, but he knew Renée was with me now. It wasn't a secret, but things had gotten awkward when Phil had called Charlie to try and get information about where we were. They had compared notes, and now Charlie knew we were in South Dakota. Charlie was suspicious because Phil had told Charlie that I had already had the baby, and Charlie knew I hadn't even been showing yet when I was still at home. I was waiting until the dates matched up closer to reality before I was going to tell him about Elizabeth. I hadn't called again because I couldn't answer any of his questions. Renee had talked to him a couple of times, but she just told him we were ok and we'd try to keep in touch. It wasn't fair to Charlie to cut him out of our lives, but it was for his own good so we could keep him safe.

The principal from Renée's school had called to talk to her, and he couldn't hold her job open any longer. He had to let her go, and she had lost her job, but that was a moot point considering everything else that had happened to her. She knew she couldn't go back to Florida now. There was no way she could walk into a classroom full of kindergarteners without wanting to kill them all. That alone would destroy her if she let that happen. Renée wasn't going to be able to be around people for a long time. I knew she'd be pushing her luck if she was able to try and control her bloodlust in a year. It would likely take her longer. A lot longer.

I on the other hand didn't have nearly as hard a time as Renée. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like I had some kind of magical control that would let me sit in the same room with a human the day after I woke up or something. I struggled, and I had control issues. I fought with my instincts just walking along the highway to pick up the mail hours after the postman had driven away. The scent of the fingerprints where he'd handled the envelopes to stuff the letters into the mail box held the most enticing scent I could imagine, and I had to fight not to press the letters to my face and chew the mail apart.

I started to force the issue and actively work on my control at the beginning of that January. I remembered conversations with Edward and Jasper when they had talked about Jaspers control issues and what Edward had done to be able to be close to me. I knew they had both hunted more in an effort to keep their thirst satiated. They had felt that not being actively thirsty would help and make it easier to withstand the bloodlust. It seemed like a logical idea. If you were full, you shouldn't want more, right?

Bullshit.

In my experience, being full didn't help at all. The bloodlust wasn't so much about being hungry, or thirsty given our situation, as it was about instinct. Being full just gave you a sloshy sloppy feeling in your middle when you moved around while your body craved even more when that scent hit you.

I left Elizabeth home with Renée when I would go out to experiment with taming my bloodlust and learning how to control my instincts so I could be around people again. I started off slowly to try and build up my resistance to the scent of human blood. In the beginning, first I'd hunt, and then I would spend hours running along the highways and country roads to absorb the lingering scents of the humans that had traveled these roads. I started out making my trips late at night when it was unlikely that I'd actually meet any live humans. Once I was comfortable with that. I stared making trips earlier and earlier until I was actually out during daylight hours.

It was a lot more dangerous when there were actual live humans around. Dangerous for them, not for me. I didn't wait for cars for a long time. I could hear cars coming from miles away, and I would bolt into the forest before they got anywhere close to me. I'd wait until they'd passed, and then I'd return to the highway to wallow in the lingering forbidden scent. It got easier over time.

I didn't want to hurt anyone, and I definitely didn't want some unsuspecting human to be my unwitting guinea pig while I practiced how not to be a murderer. I waited until I was sure I was safe each time I took it up a notch. Eventually I got to the point where I could crouch silently in the roadside ditch while cars full of people drove by. In one sense, I suppose it wasn't much different for the people in the car than driving past a mountain lion or grizzly bear that was crouched in the woods watching the car drive past. On the other hand, the mountain lion or grizzly bear wasn't likely to pounce on the car, tear the doors off, and eat the people inside. I knew my control had to be getting better, because I wasn't as likely to do that anymore as I had been when all of this started.

I slowly worked my way closer and closer to town over time. It was awash in the scent of humans, and the wind would push that evil delicious enticing scent in my direction. The venom would pool in my mouth and burn my throat when I swallowed it back, but it didn't control me anymore. At least not completely.

I was more giddy with excitement and a dangerous sense of taking a reckless forbidden chance the first time I walked down the street in Hill City than I was worried about having an accident. The first night I had the courage to walk the streets of the unaware sleeping community.

Hill City was a small town like Forks, and all of the businesses were closed by ten o'clock except for a couple of local bars and the twenty-four hour gas station convenience store on the edge of town. There were a couple of pickup trucks in front of the bars, and the lights were on in the lobbies of the local motels. Hill City did a good tourist business in the summer and there were four hotels in the tiny town. Apart from that there was no one out and about, and nobody on the streets to notice the vampire girl walking through the heart of their community in the dead of night.

I didn't stay for long on that first trip. The burn was terrible and I wasn't sure how long I'd be able to hold it together before I went on a rampage and did something terrible that I'd regret.

I was back the next night. I stayed longer and explored more. I had to desensitize myself to the scent, and I was making steady progress. I knew what the ultimate test would be, and I was working up my resolve and my courage to attempt it. I knew for this to have any meaning and use at all I was going to have to be able to stand face to face with a live human. And not kill them.

Of course, the question was who would have the honor of being my unwitting test subject… or possibly my first victim.

For the thousandth time since I started working on desensitizing myself to the scent of human blood, I cursed the Cullens for abandoning me. I shouldn't have to do this all alone. In a perfect world, Edward would be by my side holding my hand while I worried about crushing it with my newborn strength. Emmett would be standing behind me, ready to grab me and stop me if I wasn't ready for this step. Jasper would be there with his quiet resolve, gauging my emotions, and filling me with a steadying calm while I walked through this door. But the biggest betrayal of all, Alice would have seen all of this. She wouldn't let me do this unless it was going to work. She had to know what I was going through. Why hadn't she come looking for me?

In the end, in my reality, I was alone and there was really only one choice. I couldn't go to the bar. There was only one reason to go there, and I didn't want to buy a drink I wouldn't drink. Even if I looked older and more mature, my ID said I was eighteen, and I didn't know where to buy a fake one yet. Besides, there would be people in the bar. The less people around if I screwed up, the better. One of the hotels might have been a good choice, but it had the same problem as the bar. I didn't need to rent a room, and who walks in at two in the morning to inquire about room rates and vacancies unless they're going to rent a room?

That left the convenience store on the edge of town. It was really the best choice if not the perfect choice. It was brightly lit and I could see that the clerk at the counter was alone through the glass front of the store. I'd been standing outside on the edge of the forest watching and absorbing the scents that washed out of town on the light breeze. There had only been one car that stopped by for gas. The man driving had left quickly after buying a pack of cigarettes and a pop.

I tried not to dwell on the fact that the gas station was close to the forest and I'd be able to easily escape if this ended badly. There were surveillance cameras inside the convenience store, and my shame would be recorded for the police to analyze if I screwed this up.

I didn't want to think about rushing back to the cabin to grab Elizabeth and Renée and dashing out into the night as fugitives on the run. I didn't want to think about it, but I did. My mind analyzed all of the options as I made contingency plans to cover all of the variables. It was how my mind worked now and part of the survival instinct was covering all the bases and knowing what to do and how to react. A myriad of different scenarios flew through my brain as I stood outside watching the clerk through the front of the store.

Finally I knew waiting wouldn't make this any easier. I steeled my resolve and walked out to the street to approach the store. I suppose it might look odd that I didn't drive up to the store, but the driveway at the cabin still had its protective camouflage blanket of snow blocking it, and the truck was safely tucked away in the garage until the spring thaw.

I knew I looked as out of place as I felt. I had filled out a little from the change. My body had more curves in different places than I remembered, and although I hadn't gained an ounce in weight, my jeans clung to my body tightly like a second skin. My sneakers were getting ragged from all of the hours running through the forest, and along the highway. The only reason they still had soles on the bottom was because the ice and snow wasn't as hard on them as bare pavement would have been. My t-shirt was too tight, and I only had a light jacket. We'd never had the opportunity to buy winter coats before that first storm, and I didn't really need one, but I should be wearing one to fit in. Of course, I doubted the girl at the cash register was staring at my clothes. My skin was too pale ivory white, and my burning red eyes had to attract her attention.

The bell on the door jangled as I pushed the door open and slipped inside. I took a tentative step into the store and let the door close behind me. I stopped inside the door and tried to absorb the massive sensory overload of the experience. I had anticipated most of this, but thinking about it and doing it were two entirely different things.

The warm moist air inside the shop hit me like a wrecking ball as the scent of live human assaulted my senses. The sound of her heartbeat hammered in my ears and I could see the waves of heat that radiated off of her body as she stood behind the counter. Her skin was practically translucent to my enhanced sight, and I could see the blood pulsing hot and thick through her veins. It called to me like a siren song promising relief from the fire in my throat.

I hastily turned away from the counter and walked into the shop. I knew I moved too fast and I had to calm down. I had to stick to the plan. I tried to move slowly and sluggishly, but I needed more practice acting human. I hadn't been around people since before my change but I knew what I had to do to fit in.

There was a display rack of sunglasses in the middle of the store, and I went to it and picked out a couple of pairs. I hadn't thought to buy any before the change but I'd need them now if I was going to practice being around people. There wasn't much in the store that I needed, but I looked over the selection of candy bars and picked out a treat for Elizabeth. She'd never had candy in her life, and I had no idea if she'd like the chocolate bar I picked out for her, but it didn't smell repulsive to me. It was worth a try and I wanted to bring her something. Once I was more used to being around people, we'd have to see if she liked any human foods. It would make it easier to fit in if more of us ate food.

Finally I couldn't put it off any longer, and I walked up to the cash register. I casually laid my purchases on the counter.

It wasn't like I spent an eternity agonizing over my purchase decisions. I'd only been inside the store for a couple of minutes, and to a human it might have appeared that I made random choices, or knew exactly what I was going to buy from the second that I walked in. That wasn't the case at all. I just processed the decisions faster.

She glanced at my face, and then averted her eyes when I smiled at her. I had let my teeth show by mistake and her heart rate spiked for a handful of staccato rapid fire beats. It settled into a normal rhythm, but I could tell it beat faster than normal. She hesitantly reached for my things to scan them and ring up the total.

A new scent started to mix with the warm moist human scent of the girl when I stood in front of the counter. I knew what it was, but it felt odd to sense it mixed with the human scent. It was fear, and it heightened all of my senses as I reacted to my prey reacting to me. Her heart rate picked up and pounded in her chest, and I could almost taste the cold sweat that broke out on her skin as her endocrine system dumped adrenaline into her blood stream as part of the fight or flight response. She didn't give any outward sign that she was scared as she controlled her reaction to me.

She was young, maybe early twenties and pretty for a human with blue eyes and shoulder length black hair. She was wearing low cut jeans and a t-shirt from some local rock band over a long sleeved t-shirt. The sleeves were pushed up to her elbows, and she had a tattoo on the inside of her forearm. The bangle bracelets on her wrists jangled together when she picked up the things I was buying. She wore a silver cross on a leather cord around her neck and rings on almost every finger. She didn't really come off as goth, more biker/rocker chick.

Her name tag said 'Candy'. How appropriate. I glanced up and looked at her eyes as her heartbeat pounded into me. Tempting me to act...

She looked up at my face again and said, "Cool contacts." The warm puffs of moist heated air washed over me carrying her scent and slamming into me like hammer blows to my control.

"Contacts… right. Thanks." I replied as I looked down to avert my eyes.

"No problem. That'll be twenty-three twenty-seven."

I nodded. I already had my wallet out. I pulled out a twenty and a five dollar bill, and laid them on the counter. "Keep the change," I said, and quickly gathered up my purchases.

I had to leave.

I had to leave now.

"Are you sure?" She asked. "Hey, do you need a bag for that?" she said as she watched me with that startled look on her face. Thank god for the wide counter between us…

Each word she spoke made it harder for me to leave, but I forced myself to move.

I spun on my heel and blew through the door to get away from that luscious scent of her warm moist breath.

The sound of her heartbeat hammering in her chest haunted me as I fled into the forest and held my breath as I ran.

Somebody watching the surveillance video might think I had robbed the store the way I left. Hopefully my money lying on the counter would make it obvious that I had paid for my purchase. I was consoled by the fact that the girl was still alive. Another minute in that store and I might be telling a different story altogether, but I had passed my test. I had stood face to face with a live human, and had walked away without killing her.

Part of me was elated with the progress I had made and how far I had progressed in such a short time.

Another part of me realized just how close I had come to my breaking point and how easily I could have killed that girl. I was definitely making progress, but this was an entirely new level of complexity and danger now that I was somewhat able to interact with humans. I knew it would get easier with practice, but I felt horrible about putting them at risk just so I could get better at not wanting to kill them.

I ran all the way back to the cabin. Of course I would have anyway, but I was excited with the news I had to share and it pushed me to hurry and let Elizabeth and Renée know what I had done.

Elizabeth and Renée were both up waiting for me when I got home to the cabin. They still slept, but they had changed their sleep patterns to match our lifestyle. We were normally more active and hunted at night, so they usually slept during the day now. It wasn't out of some kind of supernatural need. It just worked better for us because of how we lived.

I dashed into the room and grabbed up Elizabeth and spun her around before I hugged her to my chest. "I missed you baby girl," I said as she squealed and laughed.

"Ohh, yummy! You smell good, momma! Did you see the humans? Were there any out tonight?"

"Yes, I saw the humans," I looked at Renée and she smiled back at me but her expression was guarded. I knew she could smell the human scent clinging to my clothes despite the run home through the forest.

I shifted Elizabeth around onto my hip and held her with one arm while I reached into my jacket pocket and laid the sunglasses on the table.

"I didn't just see the humans. I talked to one, too." And then I reached back into my pocket and handed the candy bar to Elizabeth. "I don't know if you'll like this, but I brought you a treat."

Renée's eyes got huge when she saw the sunglasses and then the candy bar.

"You went into the store?" she asked with a slightly incredulous lilt to her voice. I nodded my head.

"And it was ok? Nothing happened…?"

I set Elizabeth down on a chair at the table as she tried to figure out how to tear the wrapper off the candy bar. She sniffed at it curiously, and hadn't turned up her nose or grimaced at the scent. It didn't smell bad to me so I hoped it was something she could enjoy.

"Everything went fine, mom. It was hard… it was maybe the hardest thing I've ever done to stand there in front of that girl in the gas station, and not… hurt her. I didn't want to hurt her, but it was close. I couldn't wait for my change before I had to make a run for it and get back outside. I held my breath and ran. I was better once I was back in the trees."

"That was an awful risk, Bella. You're pushing yourself too hard, too fast. What would we do if…" we both glanced at Elizabeth. "You know what I mean…"

"I'm being careful, Renée. I know I'm pushing the limits of my control, but we need to be able to interact with people. We can't go on living like hermits forever. We need things, and we're going to have to move again eventually."

Elizabeth managed to get the wrapper open, and then nibbled a corner of the chocolate. Her eyes got big with surprise, and then she took a bigger bite. An innocent delighted smile spread across her face like only a child could have as they experienced something truly new and wonderful for the first time. She knew Renée and I were talking and discussing important adult things, but she reached up and placed her little hand on my cheek to share the experience with me.

I felt the wonder of the new experience and the joy she felt in the wonderful new flavor she had discovered. She liked it and wanted to thank me for her gift. It wasn't an interruption or a distraction. I had enough room in my new brain to fully appreciate what Elizabeth was experiencing and sharing without interrupting my conversation with Renée. We often did this where I would be listening to Elizabeth's silent commentary or feelings and experiences while simultaneously discussing something verbally with Renée. It would seem strange to a human, but I truly had the ability to multitask and follow both conversations at the same time now. I gave Elizabeth a hug while I listened to Renée.

"We have a year long lease on the cabin," Renée continued, "and the propane will last another three months, longer because we don't use the stove very often. The utilities are all direct billed, and there's enough cash in the account to cover them for as long as we'll be here. You have time to adjust, Bella. There's no rush."

"We don't have enough left in savings to get set up like this again when we have to move. I've only got about nine thousand left on my debit card. That'll do for first and last months rent, deposits and moving expenses. Maybe it'll be enough to get by on until then too if we're careful, but we're going to need an income if we want to keep living like this. That means one of us is going to have to get a job, and you know you can't be around people yet."

Phil was still paying Renée's cell phone bill. Probably so he'd have a number to reach her at so he could talk to her, but he wasn't going to be able to keep it up forever. Renee and Phil had done ok together, but they'd only been able to make ends meet because they had two incomes. Phil still had all of the bills, but now he didn't have Renee's income to help pay them. It was only a matter of time before they caught up with him and he'd be forced to make changes. At least she hadn't used her credit card anymore since the change. I'd renewed my prepaid cell phone online, and paid for the unlimited package for another three months when it was close to running out. We didn't have much in the way of expenses, but there were things we needed like clothes for Elizabeth and new shoes to replace our worn out ones. Some clothes that fit me right might be nice too.

It galled me that my baby was three months old and I'd never been able to buy a single thing for her. The candy bar I'd given her tonight was the first thing I'd ever purchased for her in her entire life, and I wanted to do right by her. In truth, I wanted to do more than right. I wanted her to have everything she needed or wanted, and I wasn't going to be able to do that for her hiding in a cabin in the forest.

"I should be the one to get a job." Renée said. "I'm supposed to take care of you, not the other way around…"

"You know that wouldn't work, Renée. Even if you had some kind of job where you weren't around people very much at all, you'd still have to meet and interact with them sometimes. You can't do that. You can't even go down to the highway to get the mail yet. You know what would happen if you had to stand face to face with a human. You might be able to blend in better than me, but you can't be around people yet."

Renée gave an involuntary shudder at the thought of what she'd do if she came face to face with a human.

"Ok… What kind of a job do you think you'll be able to get, Bella? You can barely be around people yet yourself. I know you had a part time job at that sporting goods store, but you look like a teenager, and you don't even have high school diploma. I doubt you could handle a retail job, and being around human food would make you sick to your stomach."

"I don't know… I'll get a paper in town, tomorrow night, and see what's available. It's not like I'll be out putting in applications anytime soon, but we need to think about building up our savings for when we do have to move."

"Umm… What about the eyes…? Bright red isn't very common. It's sure to attract attention. How long until the color starts to fade?"

"Probably another three or four months… as long as I don't have any accidents. The girl at the gas station noticed them… She thought I was wearing contacts." I picked up one of the pair of sunglasses, and put them on. "What do you think? Are they me?"

"Very chic, but you can't wear those all the time if you're working, and they'll attract as much attention as the red eyes if you wear them at night. Why did that girl think you were wearing contacts? They make red contact lenses?"

"Sure, you can get colored contact lenses in all kinds of different colors. Most people use them to change the color of their eyes, but you can get novelty contacts in colors or designs for parties and costumes. They make red contact lenses for people that want to dress up as vampires, and cat eye contacts for gags and costume parties. I remember Alice saying that the Cullens used then sometimes, but their eyes didn't stand out so much because they were more of a honey topaz shade instead of red."

"Yeah, I remember Edward's eyes from the hospital in Phoenix. I knew yellow eyes were uncommon, and I thought it was strange that they all had the same eye color if they were supposed to be adopted. Of course I only met Edward and his father. His sister was there the first day, but I was too focused on you to notice her eyes. So would these colored contacts cover up the red? It'd be a lot easier to pass for human if your eyes weren't red."

"They should. That's why the Cullens used them, not that they had to cover red eyes, but to help blend in sometimes. I'll do some research on it after you guys go to bed later. I'm gonna keep going into town, mom. I need to build up my resistance. I think we're gonna have to clear off the driveway pretty soon too."

"Why? I thought we'd just let it go until spring. It's February now. It'll melt off on it's own by the end of next month. Even if we get more storms, it'll be clear before Easter."

"I'm not going to wait that long. I'll keep practicing, but I'm going to need to be able to drive into Rapid City before Easter. Maybe in a week or two."

"Why do you need to drive to Rapid City?"

"Well, it'll be easier to blend in, in a bigger city if I'm going to need to buy those contact lenses, and I need clothes for Elizabeth. We both need new shoes and I'd like some clothes that fit me. I think a trip to Walmart is in order pretty soon, and maybe some of those pawn shops we looked at before."

"You're not going to look for a job all the way out there, are you? That seems awful far from home…"

I knew Renée was worried about me being so far away. I knew part of it was worry for me and what would happen if somebody figured out my secret, but she was worried about what would happen to her and Elizabeth too. She wouldn't be able to handle being around people for a long time, and she'd end up as a nomad if anything happened to me. It might be years before she could settle down and re-enter civilized society.

"No, I'll just go there to shop. I'd be too conspicuous shopping too much here in town, at least until I see about buying some of those contact lenses. I'll try and find a job closer to home."

"Can I go too, momma?" Elizabeth asked. "I want to see the city and look at the humans."

"Maybe… You know we can't bite anyone, ok? We only bite animals, no matter how good the humans smell…"

"I know, momma. Biting people is bad. We'd have to leave and move away if we bite people."

"We're going to have to move a lot, anyhow, Elizabeth. It'll be a long time before we can live in one place for very long. People will know we're different if we don't keep moving."

"Ok, momma. Is Grandpa Phil going to come visit us soon? I want to meet him. I hear Grandma Renée talk to him on the phone." Elizabeth turned to look at Renée then. "You're always so sad when you get off the phone. He should come visit so you can be happy."

"I want him too, Lizzy, but it isn't safe for him to be around us yet. He isn't like us, honey. He's still human and I might hurt him. I can't take a chance on that happening."

"If he was like us, would he be able to stay with you?"

"Yes, if he wanted to."

"He wants to. I can hear him when you talk on the phone. He loves you, Grandma."

"I love him too, but I can't make that decision for him, Lizzy. Maybe your momma will be able to talk to him for me soon, and then he can decide if he wants to come live with us."

I took Elizabeth outside to play in the forest later. We went for a run and checked the mail. She picked out a book and we took turns reading later when we got back. At first I had read to her, but eventually she had asked for the book. We compromised and took turns reading aloud now.

Elizabeth dozed off in my arms and I carried her to bed. Renée was tired too, and decided to call it a day. She told me good morning and went in to bed. I went in and sat down at my laptop to do my research once they were asleep for the day.

There were several websites and companies that offered colored contact lenses. You could buy non-corrective cosmetic only contact lenses from almost all of the companies that sold contacts. There were even sellers on E-bay that offered them for sale. The clinical term for the non-corrective lenses was Plano Contact lenses. There was one problem though that kept me from ordering them immediately.

Apparently you needed a prescription to buy them even if you were just getting the plain cosmetic lenses. It didn't matter if they were colored or novelty designs or even clear. You couldn't even order them online unless you had the information from a prescription to enter on the order form. That meant I was going to have to find a flexible optician or optometrist who would write me a prescription to buy them. It wasn't like I could actually go in and have my eyes tested. It was going to be hard enough avoiding people looking at my eyes without going to an eye doctor whose job was to test eyes and eyesight. One look at me, and they'd know something was up.

I could think of two ways out of this. We were getting short on cash considering everything we'd need to do in the next year, but I could buy a prescription. Hopefully I could just pay the money and skip the exam because I just wanted a prescription for plain lenses. The other method was more dangerous, but I could always get tough with the optician, and force them to write the prescription. I'd even pay for it, but I wasn't going to let them look at my eyes.

It was dangerous because if things got out of hand, I could kill somebody, and so far my record was clean. Even somebody as sweet as Esme had had accidents, but I was only three month into this new life. I was being careful, but now I knew just exactly how hard it had been for all of them. I had a new appreciation for what Jasper had gone through, and as painful as it was to consider, I knew just how miraculous what Edward had been able to do was now. I knew it was only a matter of time until there was literally blood on my hands, or lips as the case may be.

I tried not to think about that, and concentrated on building my control.

I went back into town every night, but I spread my trips around to the rest of the surrounding communities. Most of the towns in the hills were tiny with the rudiments of a main street and residential housing. Some of them had a few businesses, maybe a general store, a gas station with a convenience store, some hotels and motels, maybe a bed and breakfast. Some of the towns had thrift stores or consignment shops. There was scattered farming and ranching, some mining and quarrying operations, but industry was fairly spread out up in the hills.

None of the towns were close together. They were generally thirty or forty miles apart and scattered through the hills on winding narrow two lane highways that wound through the hills and mountain passes. There were some smaller towns along the edge of the plains, but most of them were much larger than the tiny hill towns.

I kept making late night trips until I felt more comfortable around people. Then I started going earlier in the evening so I'd have a larger pool of stores to visit. Once I could actually spend more than a couple of minutes in a shop, I visited some consignment shops and thrift stores and found Elizabeth some clothes to wear. I was able to find a cheap winter coat for protective camouflage when I made my trips. I even picked up a couple of things for Renée.

There was an unexpected bonus to shopping in the thrift stores. All of the shops would launder the second hand clothes that they offered for sale, but they couldn't help but absorb a strong human scent from the people that browsed and handled them. People would try them on to check the fit, and add to the lingering human scent that permeated the fabric. I'd wrap my purchases tightly in the plastic bags they supplied to carry the things I bought so they'd retain as much of the scent as possible.

Elizabeth loved the smell of the clothes and thought they smelled 'yummy', but I didn't think she really had any problem at all resisting the human scent. They didn't drive her into a frenzy like they did with Renée at first. It was frightening and a little disheartening the first time I brought home a bag from the thrift shop and the intelligent human part that was Renée went away and the slavering savage made its appearance. She ripped the bag out of my hands and shredded the contents before I even had a chance to say hello.

She got better after that episode, and now the clothes that I would bring home were helping her to cope with the scent as she worked at desensitizing herself to humans. She was able to get the mail now, and could travel along the highway and resist the lingering scent of humans now. She had a long way to go, and her progress was slower than mine, but she was making progress.

I felt confident that she'd at least be able to run away now if she was accidently surprised by a human. Obviously not if they were in her face or a close environment like a store, but if say a delivery van showed up at the house or somebody came to read the electric meter, she'd have the presence of mind to run into the forest before they ever got to the door.

I made a point of buying a newspaper every night before I left town and I'd read the want ads every morning after Elizabeth and Renée went to bed. To be honest, usually I'd read the whole paper. I'd already read all of the books in the house, and I'd usually buy a couple of new ones every time I went to a thrift store. It was difficult finding enough activity to fill all the hours that Renee and Elizabeth were asleep.

It was going to be a long boring eternity if I didn't find something to occupy my time. I could see why Carlisle had spent so many hours at the hospital. At least the rest of the Cullens had high school to concentrate on even if they hated it and thought it was boring. I could see why Esme had made a career of interior decorating and architectural design. There were just too many hours in the day when you didn't sleep at all. I knew eventually I'd take some online classes to finish high school, and I'd probably start college that way too, but for now, I was looking forward to getting a job to help support my family before I created more bills.

Renee was feeling better about my decision to get a job once she knew in her heart that I was making steady progress at being around people. It helped that she was making progress too, now that she knew she could at least resist the lingering scent of humans. She got the tractor out of the shed and cleared the driveway off during the first week in March. I got the truck out, and took Elizabeth for her first drive in a car.

I knew how durable she was, but I didn't want to take a chance getting pulled over. I'd bought a car seat for the truck on one of my shopping trips, and strapped her in for the ride. We drove into Hill City and filled up the truck with gas. I let Elizabeth come in with me when I paid for the gas. I bought a newspaper, and let her pick out a candy bar, and then we went home. I was certain the trip was easier for her than it was for me. We went early enough that I could wear my dark glasses, and having Elizabeth along for the trip made it easier for me and the guy behind the counter. Elizabeth grounded me so I was more relaxed, and she completely captivated the clerk so he didn't get nervous with me standing in front of him at the cash register.

I made the trip to Rapid City during the second week in March. I went alone for this first trip. I left early in the afternoon while Elizabeth was still asleep. I wanted to get there early enough that my dark glasses wouldn't stand out too much. I knew that Walmart had an optical department and I was going to try and get the prescription I needed to buy my contact lenses. I knew I might have to force the issue, and I didn't want Elizabeth there for that. I'd try to make it up to her later and take her shopping in the city once I knew I could handle it.

It made me nervous to drive in the city again after my change. I knew I could walk into a store and browse and shop now without too much difficulty, but there were so many people here. The thrift stores I'd been going to only had at the most one or two customers and a clerk if they were crowded. This was a Walmart Supercenter I was going to. There would likely be dozens of customers even in the early afternoon in the middle of the week.

There was a steady stream of traffic on the highway, and then it turned into a freeway as I drove across Rapid City from west to east. I had no difficulty driving. The freeway felt like I was moving in slow motion, and I had to resist the urge to press the gas pedal down to the floor and drive around the cars in front of me that seemed to move so slowly along the concrete ribbon. It wasn't heavy traffic, but there were dozens of cars and I could smell the press of human bodies all around me despite the fact that they were in their cars and I was in my truck with the windows rolled up.

The city literally reeked of human and there was nowhere you could go to escape it. Holding my breath wasn't going to help. If I lost it I was toast. I was just going to have to suck it up and tough it out if I wanted to make it home again. Home was what kept me grounded. I had to do this for Elizabeth and Renee. They needed me, and I couldn't let myself loose control and go on a rampage.

I might make it ok if that happened, but I'd attract a lot of attention. The kind of attention the Volturi were on the lookout for. They would have no compunction about hunting down a newborn gone rogue in the heart of the city. The only thing that might slow them down was wondering who had created me and then abandoned me so they could hunt them down next.

I didn't know what they'd make of Elizabeth and Renee. They were less of a danger to the secret than I was, but the Volturi struck me as a group that would err on the side of caution from what I had heard about them. Something new and different would probably be greeted as a threat. It was best if they never learned that Elizabeth or Renee even existed. That meant that if I exposed myself I'd have to run and leave them to keep them safe. I tried to push all of that out of my mind as I pulled into the parking lot at the Walmart Supercenter.

If there was one thing I had learned about the Midwest and the plains states since I'd ended up in South Dakota, it was that the weather was fickle. The saying out here was, 'If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes, it'll change.' One minute it could be raining, and the next the clouds would clear and the sun would shine. It wasn't exactly an overcast day, but there was heavy cloud cover from horizon to horizon. Patches of sunlight would open up sporadically over the city letting shafts of sunlight beam down, but heavy cloud shadow covered the parking lot now. It was late afternoon by the time I was ready to walk into Walmart, and it would be twilight by the time I left if this went well.

The main parking lot was on the western approach to the building. That meant the sun would shine on the front of the store and the main entrances until after sundown. If the cloud cover broke, that could trap me inside the store until after dark. I cruised through the parking lot looking for another option. The parking lot wrapped around the north face of the building. There were a couple of loading docks at the back corner of the building, but there was a side entrance too that led into the grocery section of the supercenter. I might have to hold my breath, but the shadow of the building was already stretching toward the parked cars and there was still enough cloud cover to let me walk in safely without attracting attention. This part of the parking lot should be in deep shadow when I left, whether the cloud cover broke or not.

I parked the truck and made my way up to the door. There weren't any other customers using this door, and I pushed it open and stepped inside.

Uhgg… I wanted to gag and retch, but I clamped my jaw shut and held my breath. I steeled my resolve and walked into the store. I was in the bakery and deli section and it was flanked by the fresh produce. There had to be two or three rotisserie roasters going, and a deep fat fryer. The deli display cases were open at the back and were filled with cooked meats ready to be sliced up into cold cuts and blocks of cheese sitting out on display. There were glass fronted display cases full of doughnuts, rolls and pastries. Another display case was full of cakes. I hurried through too fast, but I had to get out of that part of the store.

I remembered liking this part of the store when I was human. Renee and I would go shopping on the weekend just so we could try all the samples that they'd have out on the ends of the grocery isles, and I had loved the deli section. Now the only positive thing I could say about it was that it didn't smell like humans.

Thankfully the optical department was at the opposite end of the huge store. I moved into the clothing and apparel sections to make my way across the inside of the store. There were people browsing, but they ignored me for the most part. I moved through the women's section and entered the men's section before I could see into the department I was looking for.

The optical section was up at the front of the store in a separate open store front across from the long line of cash registers. It was a fairly large section and there were a couple of girls in white coats behind counters of glasses frames. There was another man in a white doctor's coat that was sitting on a stool chatting with one of the girls. The hours were listed on a marquee display. I had an hour until they closed. The sign said the optometrist was in, and an exam would cost me $69.95 for contacts.

I couldn't let him examine me, but I needed the prescription. I knew there would be too many questions I couldn't answer if he did an exam. For one, he'd want to take my blood pressure and as far as I knew I didn't have any. I didn't think I had blood in my veins anymore, and I certainly didn't have a pulse or heartbeat.

If he was reasonable I could even buy the contacts here if they had them in stock, but as long as I had a prescription, I could order them online. The thing was, I couldn't just strong arm the guy to give me a piece of paper unless I walked away with the contacts today. If I ordered online, they'd check my prescription with the doctor that wrote it. I had to have a prescription on file if I wanted to place an online order, and that meant he had to enter my prescription into the database.

I was sure there were ways around this situation. The Cullens had it easy with Carlisle being a doctor. He could either simply write the prescription himself, or he probably knew somebody who would. Hopefully this doctor would be reasonable and just write the prescription for me if I paid for the exam.

I couldn't stand here all day agonizing over all of the variables and what might happen while my throat burned and it got harder and harder simply to stand in the store. I had to go over there and make it happen. I shook myself and started across to the optical department. There were a couple of out of service cash register lanes, and I cut through one of the spaces to cross to the open store front.

The man looked up when I stepped into the shop obviously intent on walking up to him. He stood up as I approached and smiled at me. I smiled back at him, but I knew better than to show my teeth now.

"Hello, can I help you with something today, Miss?" he said as I stood in front of him. His nametag said Dr. B. Crouch OD. He must not have noticed the gold band on my left hand. I still wore it for protective camouflage. I hoped it would keep guys away so they wouldn't approach me when I was out.

I was keeping my distance from him, but the warm moist puffs of breath beat against me with every word he spoke. I could carry on a short conversation now, but I was still pressing my luck being in a store this big with this many people around me.

"I'm hoping you can. I'm going to a costume party, and I was going to buy some colored contact lenses, but I need a prescription to even buy the plain cosmetic lenses."

"That's not a problem. I can fix you up. We sell a lot of colored lenses here. Why don't you step into my office, and we can discuss what you need?"

I nodded and he led me toward a door at the side of the shop. He opened the door and we walked into an exam room that was set up for vision testing. He indicated a chair next to a desk and he sat down on a round stool in front of a computer on the desk. He handed me a clip board with a patient information form on it. He started typing on the computer as I started to fill out the form.

"I'm Dr. Barney Crouch." He said as he extended his hand to shake mine "You can take off your sun glasses in here."

"I'm Bella Swan. Thank you, but I'll keep them on if it's all the same…" I didn't reach for his hand to shake it, and after a minute he let his hand drop.

"Ok… So how long has it been since you had an eye exam, Bella?"

"Honestly, I can't remember when I've ever had an eye exam."

"Well we can certainly take care of that…"

"I don't need an eye exam. I'll pay for one if you like, to cover your fee for your time, but I just need the prescription. I'll even buy the contacts here if you carry the plano contacts in warm honey."

"I guess I can skip the exam if you don't want it since you just want cosmetic lenses. It's included in the fee though, and I should still fit you for your contacts. It's company policy. You know, you really ought to just let me test your eyes if you've never had an exam. You never know when there might be something that you're not even aware of because you've never had it looked at."

"Look, Barney, I don't need an exam, ok?" I looked around the room and there was an eye chart on the far wall about twenty feet away. "See your eye chart over there?" He nodded. "The bottom row says D E F P O T E C. The line below that says Snellen Eye Chart, Copyright 1989 Allegro Medical Co. Springfield, MO. Is that good enough for you?"

"Ok…, but I should fit you…"

"Just write the prescription for plano lenses with a back curve of 8.6, and a diameter of 14.0. I'll make do with that."

"This is very irregular. I really should at least fit you." He started to reach for my sunglasses. I grabbed his wrist before he touched me. I felt him try to pull away from my grip, but it was like his arm was surrounded by an immovable steel band.

"Look Barney, I don't want to hurt you. I'm not going to take off my sunglasses, you aren't going to do an exam, and you aren't going to fit my lenses. Understand?" I smiled and I let him see my teeth this time. His heart rate spiked and I could smell the fear as he broke out in a cold sweat.

I had to fight not to pull him towards me. I could see the pulse hammering in his neck and it would be so easy to just pull him into my lap and sink my teeth… No! Not today! Not ever!

He nodded, and I quickly let go of his arm. He scuttled back away from me, putting some distance between us. I was thankful he had enough self-preservation instinct to know I was dangerous. I didn't have to react and could put on a show of sitting stoically while in reality I was reeling from what had almost happened.

"Now, are you going to write me a prescription and sell me some contact lenses, or do I need to take my business elsewhere?" I held out the clip board with my personal information on it. I wanted to run, but I was so close…

"Sh… sure…" he stuttered, and he took the clip board. "Plano Lenses in warm honey… How many boxes would you like? Four boxes is a six month supply, but we have a discount if you buy eight boxes…"

"How much?" Bingo! I was home free if we were talking price. If I could just hold out a little longer I could pull this off.

"The regular price is $37.49 a box, but if you buy eight boxes, they're $34.49 a box. That's $275.92 and $69.95 for the exam fee, plus tax. Umm… that's $370.08."

I figured I was better off safe than sorry. I didn't know how long they'd last for me, and I had at least three months to go before the red would fade out to an ochre topaz.

"Sure, give me the eight boxes. You've got those in stock, right?" He was rapidly typing my information into the computer from my information card.

"Yes…" He rolled his stool back even further and pulled a sheet out of the printer, then moved close enough to slide the paper across the counter to me. "Here's a print out of your prescription and your contact order. Just give it to the girl out front, and she'll set you up."

"Can I use this to re-order online?"

"It's guaranteed for a year, but because it's for plane lenses, it should be good until you decide to get an exam to change it."

"Perfect. Thank you Dr. Crouch."

He just nodded, and I heard him give a sigh of relief when I walked out of the exam room. I walked up to the counter and handed my paper to the girl.

"Well, that was fast. Let me see, warm honey? Ok." She turned and opened a cabinet in the counter and searched for a minute. Then she started stacking boxes on the counter. Eight boxes of contacts was a large package, but she fit it all into one large over stuffed bag.

"Would you like to pay for that here, or do you have more shopping to do?" she asked.

"I'll pay here thank you." I took out my wallet, and handed her my debit card. She scanned it, and had me sign the window with the stylus. She folded my prescription and put it in the bag.

"Thank you for shopping at the Walmart vision center," and then she handed me my card and the receipt.

I nodded and took my bag and got the hell out of there. I didn't know how much longer I was going to be able to hold it together, and I had to get away from all of these humans. I took a calculated risk and cut across the front of the store. There were a lot more people concentrated in the area as they went through the check stands, but most of them were busy watching their own purchases get rung up, and most gave me a wide berth as they were conscious of their own personal space.

I turned right to dodge into the deli section instead of turning left to walk out the main door. I glanced out the door as I went past and bright sunlight was streaming in the door as the sun sat on the horizon below the cloud cover. The angle was wrong, so I didn't walk through it, but I was glad I hadn't parked out there.

I was distracted by the sun, and suddenly my senses were assaulted by the stench of human food. I gagged and choked, but then I stopped breathing until I got to the door. I looked out, and the shadow of the building was well past my truck, and I was safe to walk out to it. I got in and set the bag on the floor on the passenger side. I slammed the door behind me, and took a deep breath.

I had done it! I had gone to Walmart and survived the experience! It might not sound like much, but it was a major achievement for me. I could do this! I could be around people and not kill them or eat them!

That was about when I realized I wasn't reacting to the humans from the store anymore. I still had the burn in the back of my throat, and I was still assaulted by that glorious stench that pounded at me from every direction, but the need to run that I had felt when I was with Barney was gone. The only thing I could think of that might account for this was my reaction to the disgusting odor of human food when I walked through the deli.

It didn't make it any easier, but it wasn't any worse that it was when I got here. I could go back in if I wanted too.

I reached for one of the boxes of contact lenses and opened it. I got out the plastic container with the lenses. They were 6 lenses in each box, and the plastic container held two lenses. They were thin flexible plastic immersed in saline solution, and were supposed to last a week or two before you discarded them and got a new set out. I didn't know how long they'd last for me, but I knew the Cullens had used them so I knew they would work. I took off my sunglasses, and then carefully opened the container and placed one in each eye.

I blinked a couple of times, and then adjusted the rearview mirror so I could look at them. The warm honey color was a pretty close match to what the Cullen's eyes had looked like. I had chosen this color because it was what I was expecting my eyes to turn out like in time when the bright red faded away.

I took a couple of spare set of contacts and put them in my purse, and tossed the sunglasses in too. I wanted to test this out, and I got out of the truck and went back into the store.

The contacts weren't perfect, but they were better than bright red eyes. For one thing, they were distracting. I could see the ridges and imperfections in the lenses, and my eyes would try to focus back to study the lenses instead of what I was supposed to be looking at. Every time I passed a mirror, I'd look to make sure I was still covered and they were still there. I knew they were because I could see them, but I wanted to reassure myself. Actually the distraction was kind of welcome because it helped keep my mind off of the burn in my throat.

I wouldn't say I went on a shopping spree, but I picked up some of the things we needed. I got each of us a new pair of shoes, and I bought some clothes for Elizabeth. I didn't get much because I knew she'd out grow them fast, but she deserved to have something new instead of always wearing clothes from the thrift stores. I wasn't too proud to dress my baby in second hand clothes. Most of them were just as good as new, but she deserved it, and I wanted her to have some things that were new.

Next I went to the women's section to pick out a couple of outfits for me and Renee. Renee hadn't changed physically nearly as much as I had. She could still wear most of her clothes although she didn't have much. Very few of my clothes fit comfortably. Besides, I hadn't brought very much with me in the first place when I left Charlie's.

I knew I had always complained about Alice and her shopping. It had seemed ostentatious the way she had dressed the Cullens in designer clothes, and wasteful because they rarely wore the same thing twice, but now I knew you honestly got what you paid for. I could see now what she had been able to see then. Every broken and frayed thread was immediately apparent to me. I could see every uneven seem, every missed stitch, every minor imperfection was obvious and stood out. And it wasn't just a matter of seeing it all; I could feel all of the imperfections when I wore the clothes.

I must have looked like a scruffy ragamuffin to all of them in my ragged faded jeans and threadbare t-shirts. They had still told me they loved me up until they left and abandoned me.

Besides, it wasn't just the cut and construction that was important but the choice of fabric was now a major concern. Synthetic manmade fabrics reeked with a chemical stench that was too horrible for words. I had gone through the clothes I had at the cabin and sorted out everything that was impossible to wear now. Cotton was acceptable, but now I knew why the Cullens had worn expensive clothes. I couldn't afford expensive clothes, and I certainly couldn't afford to only wear them once, but I could at least buy some clothes that fit.

I picked out a couple of pair of jeans for us that weren't exactly designer, but were more expensive than what I would have bought before the change. I spent some time searching, and found a couple of tops for each of us that were acceptable. I bought some socks, and then moved on to pick out some underwear.

I didn't need a bra anymore. Gravity wasn't a problem and I didn't need support, but I just didn't feel right not wearing one. I picked some out, and I knew it was going to be a relief to have one that actually fit my more ample size now.

I noticed the change in the contact lenses while I was shopping. I looked into a mirror by the fitting room while I was considering heading up to the checkout. The contacts were dissolving from the venom in my eyes, and were starting to break up. I ducked into the fitting room and blinked my eyes until the fragments broke up and were gone, and then I got out another pair and replaced them.

It didn't feel like I had been there so long, but I checked my phone and realized it was nearly two hours since I'd gone back into the store. I'd made a trip back through the deli section twice so far when the human scent got to be too much, and it helped me get by. It was disgusting, but it was better than being driven from the store by the human scent.

Well, so much for buying a year's supply of contact lenses. The contacts were supposed to last a human for two weeks, but they'd only lasted for two hours in my eyes. With normal use, a year's supply was supposed to last at least forty-eight weeks, not forty-eight hours. I was going to have to be judicious about when and where to use them. I was still going to have to use the sunglasses when I could get away with it to save the contacts for when I really needed them. I couldn't afford to throw down three hundred dollars and change every couple of weeks, even if it meant making it easier to fit in.

I pushed my shopping cart up to the front of the store, and found an open check out line and loaded my purchases onto the conveyor. The girl scanned them and rang them up, and I slid my debit card through the scanner when she had it totaled up. This had been an expensive day, but it was all stuff we needed. I took the bags and left the cart and headed out to the truck to go home.

It was time to start seriously thinking about getting a job. I knew I could be around humans enough now to handle it as long as it wasn't something that required me to be constantly in their presence. Besides, we couldn't live off the money Alice had left me indefinitely. We were getting closer and closer to the bottom of the well, and I had to start putting something back or we'd end up on the streets with nowhere to go. I wasn't going to hole up in some abandoned farm house in the middle of nowhere or squat in vacant buildings if I had another option available.

I thought about what kind of job I might be able to get as I drove back to the cabin. There were always want ads in the paper offering jobs, but most of them required a college degree or some sort of training or certificate. I wasn't trained to be a nurse or dental hygienist, and I wouldn't pass the background check to work in a bank or any kind of office for that matter. I didn't even have a high school diploma, and that automatically disqualified me for a lot of jobs.

Another important consideration was what I was capable of tolerating as far as being around humans was concerned. I knew I couldn't be in their constant company yet. I needed a job where I could work alone or at least independently most of the time. I'd be ok for a while to report for work, and for reporting to a supervisor, but I knew I couldn't do something where I had to stand in the same room with humans all day long. Something working nights or evenings would be ideal, but most of the businesses closed by nine o'clock.

The bars were open late enough, and you only had to be eighteen to serve alcohol. They probably wouldn't care if I had a diploma as long as I was easy on the eyes, but there were too many people around. The atmosphere would be stifling, and there would be guys there that would want to hit on me despite the fake wedding ring. It was premeditated murder waiting to happen if I put myself in that kind of situation.

Fast food or any restaurant or waitressing job was out of the question. I wouldn't be able to stand the reek of the food, not to mention there were too many humans around to make if a viable option.

The late night shift at the gas station convenience store seemed like an ideal solution. The people I'd seen working those jobs were always alone. There were infrequent customers, and it was something I could do at night. The problem was, all of the jobs I knew about were all taken.

The same girl had been working the late night shift at the gas station in Hill City as long as I'd been visiting the town. There was never a help wanted sign in that window, and from what I could tell, it was a family business. The girl's dad probably owned the gas station or was the mechanic or something. I didn't hold out much hope that they'd be hiring anytime soon.

A lot of the businesses in Hill City and the other surrounding communities often advertised for help by simply placing a help wanted sign in the window. Most of them didn't bother advertising in the paper, and relied on word of mouth to get the word out that they were hiring. I'd have to keep my eyes open and see what was available on my next trip into town.

Elizabeth and Renee were both up waiting for me when I got home. The second set of contact lenses were still in my eyes, and both of them were startled by my appearance when I walked in.

"Bella?" Renee asked in shock when she looked at me. "You look… So human…"

"Gee, thanks mom. So what do you two think? Do you like it?" I asked.

"Yeah… I just wasn't expecting it. Umm… did everything go ok?" Renee asked."

"Well, it wasn't a picnic, but I did everything I needed to do. I didn't have any accidents."

Elizabeth was still looking at me funny, and I reached for her and swung her up into my arms.

"Well, baby girl, what do you think?"

She laid her hand on my cheek and I saw a vision of the empty house as she went from room to room searching for me, and then I felt a wave of disappointment when she found the empty garage and the truck gone.

"You can go next time, Elizabeth. I'm sorry I left you home, but it was too dangerous to take you with me until I knew I could do it."

"Promise?" She asked.

"I swear, the next time I go to the city, you can go with me."

"Ok…"

"I brought you something…"

"Chocolate?"

"No, not this time." I started to walk back to the garage. "So what do you think of momma's eyes?"

"You look funny, Momma. I like the red better."

"Well, get used to it, baby girl. This is what my eyes are going to look like when you get bigger. Nobody in our house is gonna have red eyes."

"Why momma?"

"Red eyes either mean you had an accident or you aren't a nice person. It means something bad happened."

"Vampires that bite humans have red eyes?"

"Yes, Elizabeth, and we don't bite humans if we can help it. Now let me show you what I got for you."

We hadn't really celebrated Christmas or the holidays this past season. Elizabeth was born in November, and neither Renee nor I had been in any kind of condition to buy gifts or celebrate. It was March now but it felt like Christmas as we opened our packages and passed around the new things I had bought for everyone. They were just simple things that we needed, but Elizabeth was so excited about having new things to wear. Renee thanked me for being so thoughtful and loved the clothes I had picked out for her. I felt a wave of pride that I had been able to master my instincts and withstand the bloodlust so I could provide for the people that meant so much to me in this new life.

It would have been perfect if Charlie and Phil could have been there, but sometimes you had to sacrifice to keep the people you loved the most out of danger and safe.

We went hunting together after we put away the things I'd brought home from Rapid City. Elizabeth didn't have to share with either of us anymore, and was lethal huntress in her own right. She took after her father and preferred mountain lion, but she understood that they were an endangered species and had to be carefully managed.

I wouldn't let her hunt bear on her own. She might be able to handle one by herself, but it made me too anxious to watch her tiny form stalk such a massive creature, and I knew they were strong enough to hurt her if they got lucky. I'd help her if she wanted to take one down, but we weren't going far enough a field tonight to find any predators.

We stayed close to the cabin and only ran about ten or fifteen miles into the forest. There were plenty of deer and elk throughout the hills, and I just needed something to take the edge off after being bombarded by the massed human scent of the city.

I had Renee take Elizabeth back to the cabin after we had finished with our kills. I was anxious to start looking for a job, and I wanted to circle east to make a pass through Hill City to pick up a newspaper and look around to see if there were any help wanted signs.

Elizabeth wanted to go with me, but I told her no. I hadn't taken her back since that time we went to the gas station. The less people saw of her, the better. She changed too fast, and if people started to notice her, we'd have to leave town and move.

Most of the businesses were closed when I walked into town, but I had expected as much. There was a help wanted sign in the window of the local grocery store, but I didn't think that would work. I wouldn't have any trouble running a cash register, but there'd be way too many people, and I didn't want to be around that much human food.

I walked by the gas station, but like always, there was no sign. Usually I bought a paper at the gas station or more rarely from the vending machine in front of the grocery store. I didn't feel like going into the gas station tonight, and I'd already been to the grocery store. I remembered seeing some newspaper vending machines outside the Comfort Inn, so I decided to go over there and take a look.

There were some cars in the parking lot of the hotel but the tourist season hadn't started yet. I could see the bored looking hostess leaning on the counter watching TV through the glass front door, but I didn't pay her much attention. I bought my newspaper, and was about to leave so I could melt into the surrounding forest and run home when something caught my eye. There was a help wanted sign in the window.

Help Wanted

Hotel Housekeeper

Immediate openings. Flexible hours. No experience required. Salary DOE.

Apply in person.

Housekeeper? Like a hotel maid?

I could clean. There might be people around, but they'd all be in their rooms most of the time. From all the hotel maid service I'd seen, it looked like a pretty solitary job. Sure, you might meet up with the other girls for breaks or to chat, but most of the time you were cleaning rooms by yourself. Not to mention the cleaning supplies and chemicals would help mask the human scent and make it easier to do the job. It said flexible hours. If I could get on an evening or night shift, there might not even be anyone else on the staff but the hostess at the front desk. This was worth investigating.

I thought for a minute, and figured it was worth a pair of contacts to go and ask about the job. Didn't want to walk in wearing sunglasses at night and come off as some kind of weirdo druggy freak. It wasn't super late out. It was only about eleven o'clock. That was nothing in the city, but it was well after when they rolled up the sidewalks in a small town.

I took off my dark glasses and got out a contact container from of my purse. I popped them into my eyes and took a second to blink my eyes and adjust, and then I pulled the door open and walked inside. The hostess Looked up when I walked in and smiled at me as I walked up to the counter.

"Welcome to the Comfort Inn. Can I help you with something?" She asked.

"I saw your help wanted sign, and I was interested in the job."

"Isn't it a little late for job hunting?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I'm kind of a night owl. I came into town to get a newspaper to look at the help wanted ads, and I saw your sign in the window. Is the job still available?"

I saw her look me over with an appraising eye. "Yes, we're ramping up our housekeeping staff for the summer season. With four hotels in town, it pays to start early. Are you out of school?" I saw her glance at the ring on my finger.

"I'm not in school… Do you have an application I can fill out?"

"Sure, just a minute." She walked through a door behind the counter into an office and was back a minute later with a single sheet of paper attached to a clip board.

"Go ahead and fill this out. You can have a seat over there if you like," she said, indicating a couple of arm chairs and a sofa around a square coffee table in the middle of the lobby. "Then we can talk when you're done. I'm Anna Watkins, the night shift manager."

I nodded and took the application over to the conversation group and sat down to fill it out. I put down as much of the truth as I could. I gave the address for the cabin outside Hill City and used my cell phone number. The questions about whether or not I was a citizen and was authorized to work in this country and if I'd ever been convicted of a felony were easy to answer. I used my real drivers' license and social security numbers.

The question about whether or not I had graduated from high school or not was harder, but I told the truth.

I listed Charlie and Renee as personal references. Charlie knew where I was now, and I hoped he wouldn't show up out her looking for me.

I had re-memorized all of the information about my previous job at Newton's Outfitters, and wrote it down on the form. Karen Newton would probably give me a good reference even if I had run out on them without as so much as saying goodbye. She had to have heard the rumors by now, and she knew I had a reason to leave.

I put down Housekeeper as position applied for. The form asked for hours available, and I wrote in any. Then it asked for preferred shift, and I marked nights.

I got up and took the application back over to Anna when I was done. She looked it over for a couple of minutes.

"This is an out of state drivers' license number. How long have you been in town?"

"A couple of months. I came out here to take care of my mom. She got sick and needed help."

"You didn't finish high school?"

"I got pregnant and got married. I want to finish, but I have other priorities right now." She'd already seen the ring, so I might as well stick to the story.

"Where's your husband?"

"In Kuwait, he's in the service and got called up in the alert."

Anna nodded. "So it's just you and your mom and the baby? And let me guess, your mom can't work…"

"Look, I really need a job… We have some savings, but it isn't gonna last forever. I can clean, and I'm not afraid of hard work."

"Ok, this reference in Washington, who's that?"

"My dad, he's the chief of police in Forks…"

"Ok, I'll give you a shot. The job pays minimum wage to start, but we'll review your salary after ninety days if you work out. You want to work nights?"

"It fit's into my schedule better that way…"

"Fine, you'll be on your own most of the time, but if you can't handle the solitude, we need somebody for the night shift. Be back her tomorrow night at nine, and I'll have one of the girls come in to show you what to do. Welcome to Comfort Inn, Bella." She reached out across the counter to shake my hand.

I looked at it for a second, and then reached out and lightly gripped her hand to shake it. "Thanks Anna. I'll see you tomorrow night." She didn't seem to notice the cold, and just smiled at me. It was still pretty cold outside, and I hadn't been inside for long.

The burn wasn't too bad yet, and it wasn't like I needed to run from the lobby, but it was best to leave quickly before I tempted fate too much for one day. I turned and walked out the door and made my exit. I turned into the woods at the first opportunity and ran for home.

I was excited, and I wanted to share my news with Elizabeth and Renee. Renee was sitting on the couch reading with Elizabeth when I got walked in. It was a good thing Renee had experience as a teacher. I doubted Elizabeth would ever be able to go to a regular school, but home schooling her wasn't an issue. She was already well beyond kindergarten level, and was probably beyond grade school in many respects, but she was still just a little girl and had a lot to learn about the world.

"Hey guy's, guess what?" I said as they looked up to greet me.

"What momma?" Elizabeth asked. Renee just raised an eyebrow and gave me a quiet questioning look as she waited for me to go on.

"Well, you know how I was gonna go get a newspaper so I could look for a job?" I asked as I tossed the paper on the table. They both just nodded as they waited for me to go on.

"Well, I did one better! I got a job! I start tomorrow night!"

"You got a job?" Renee asked startled.

"Tomorrow night…?" Elizabeth asked a little tentatively.

"Yeah, I went to the Comfort Inn to buy a paper from the vending machine, and they had a help wanted sign in the window. I filled out an application, and the night manager hired me. I start tomorrow night at nine o'clock."

"What are you going to do?" Renee asked.

"Housekeeping. I'll be cleaning the hotel rooms at night so they're ready for the guests when they check in. Whatever else they need done too, I guess. They have a guest laundry service and there's an indoor pool and hot tub. The maid service makes up the beds and does general cleaning. I'll probably have more of the in between guest chores like mopping and vacuuming."

"And you're ok with that?"

Renee wasn't exactly a sloth when it came to housework, but she'd cleaned as much as she thought was necessary. I had done most of the cleaning when I lived with her. Not because she made me, but because that was how I liked it. It had been pretty much the same when I'd lived with Charlie. I wasn't exactly a neat freak, but I liked my house clean. With my enhanced senses, dirt was simply more obvious, and things left out of order bugged me. Taking a job cleaning rooms didn't bother me in the slightest. I was looking forward to it.

"Hey, it's a job and pays the bills. I can clean, and that kind of work is easy for me now. It'll let us build up our savings before we have to move when the lease runs out."

"You're going to work at night, momma?" Elizabeth asked. I knew what was bothering her. She was afraid she wouldn't see me if I was gone when she was up.

"I'll still spend time with you, Elizabeth. I don't sleep, baby girl, and it might take a little adjustment, but you can be up when I'm home, and sleep when I'm at work. I don't know if you remember, but you used to sleep at night when you were little…"

A huge grin broke out on Elizabeth's face, "Ok, momma, I remember. I can go out in the daytime, and play in the sun?"

"Of course, Elizabeth," I told her.

Renee seemed more apprehensive, but she didn't comment. She was better at resisting the human scent, and she could handle the lingering scents that she might encounter being out in the daytime now. She wasn't ready to walk into town or handle visiting the city, even driving in the car, but she was getting better at resisting the human scent.

"Can I go to work with you, momma?" She asked.

"I know you'd be a good helper, baby girl, but we can't let people see you. Maybe some night after I know what to expect, you can visit…" Renee gave me a withering glare at that comment. She couldn't take her, and neither of us would let her go that far on her own. "But not for a long time, Elizabeth," I hedged. Not until we know it's safe…

"Ok, momma." Elizabeth might be a little girl, but she was extremely intelligent, and she realized it was dangerous. Besides, she wasn't the sort to whine and cry for what she wanted. She knew we'd give her everything we were able to.

Elizabeth and Renee both went to bed earlier to start working on adjusting their schedule back to being more active during the daylight hours when I'd be home. It would be a big change, but it was necessary. It was going to be tough to be around humans so much, and anything we could do to make it easier was worth it. It went without saying that it would be easier for me to do any job at night.

The weather was just too fickle, and I didn't have Alice around to tell me if it was going to be sunny out or not. There were a lot of overcast days, and a lot of cloudy days, but it just didn't rain as much out here as it had in Forks. I couldn't count on the fact that I'd always be able to make it in to work if I was working days, not to mention the fact that I might be required to go outside for some tasks. I couldn't really balk at taking out the trash, just because it was sunny out. Either they'd know something was up, or I'd get fired.

I did a little research online after Elizabeth and Renee were asleep. I looked up housekeeping jobs to see if there was anything special I should expect, but it was pretty much what I had expected. I looked at the website for the Comfort Inn in Hill City. It had fifty-five rooms, the indoor pool and hot tub. They offered continental breakfast with hot waffles, but I doubted I'd have much to do with breakfast preparation or stocking the dining area if I was working nights.

I hadn't liked having to mark down that I hadn't finished high school when I filled out my application last night. I'd told Anna that I wanted to finish school, but now it was four months after I'd effectively dropped out, and I hadn't even looked into what I had to do to finish. The rest of the kids I'd gone to school with would be graduating in a couple of months. I knew I would have cringed at the thought of attending, but they were all probably thinking about prom and getting ready for the big day.

I had all day while I sat in the quiet house alone while Elizabeth and Renee slept. I looked some online virtual high schools, and it was really a lot easier than I had thought it would be. I had basically three options.

The first choice was to take online classes to complete the curriculum and earn enough credits to graduate. Almost all of the classes you could take at a regular high school were available online. This was the typical route for kids that were home schooled and wanted or needed to go to school online. It was a good option for kids in families that traveled, had special needs, or didn't have time to attend a regular high school. It was also possible to take individual classes if you had missed a class because of illness or were short of credits to graduate.

The second option was only available to adults that wanted to finish high school and get their high school diploma. You had to be eighteen to enroll in the program, and basically you took six tests to gauge your general education knowledge, and then wrote an essay. Depending on how you scored on the test, the virtual school would provide online classes to tutor you so you could pass the test and essay portion, and you'd receive an Adult Equivalency High School Diploma. The program took between two to six weeks to complete, and it only cost twenty bucks to enroll. The total package cost $299 dollars, but you didn't have to pay the tuition until you graduated.

Of course, the third option was taking the test to get your GED. It was a basic skills test to show that you knew enough to not need to go to high school. It was supposed to be equivalent to a high diploma, but it was harder to get into a good college if you only had a GED instead of a diploma. People looked down on it as what you had to do when you were a high school drop out.

I had plenty of time to do the first choice and finish all of the classes to earn the credits to graduate, but I was eighteen, and I knew I could probably pass the tests right now to get the adult diploma. Once I had a high school diploma, I could sign up for college level classes online. There were a ton of online virtual colleges, and why would I bother trying to finish up high school the hard way when I could be working on my degree online?

I paid my twenty bucks and enrolled in high school. I spent most of the day filling out forms, and then taking the assessment tests to see what classes I'd have to take to graduate. I aced everything but the math test. That had always been my weakest subject. I got set up in a class to help me brush up and work on the skills I'd need to pass the test. I could work at my own pace, and worse case scenario, I'd be able to graduate and get my diploma in six weeks. I could do it faster if I applied myself and completed all the assignments sooner.

Elizabeth and Renee got up right before sundown, and we went hunting again. They didn't really need to, but I wanted to make sure my thirst was under control. I was taking every precaution I could so I'd be ready for tonight, and they went along so we could spend time together.

I spent a long time getting ready to go. This was a huge step for me. I know it might not sound like much to a human, going to their first day at a new job, but I agonized over what to wear despite my limited choices. I worried about showing up too early, and then wondered if I should really even go at all. This was hugely dangerous for all of us. It was dangerous to the humans for the obvious reasons, I could lose it and snap and kill somebody. It was dangerous for us because I could expose what we were, and then we'd have to leave in the middle of the night and make a run for it to escape.

In the end, I hugged Elizabeth and told her goodbye, and hugged Renee while she encouraged me to do my best. Then I walked out of the house to run to work. I had considered taking the truck to make me look more human, but in the end, I had decided it would be better if I left it with Elizabeth and Renee. Worst case scenario, they could load some of our stuff into it if I called them and told them to make a run for it. They could both run like me for short bursts, but neither of them had my limitless stamina, and they'd need the truck if they had to get away.

I ran to the edge of town close to the hotel, and then walked out of forest onto the shoulder of the road, so it would look like I had walked into town. The gravel roadside shoulder turned into a sidewalk close to the edge of the parking lot. I stopped to put in my contact lenses, and then I crossed the lot to walk up to the front door and go inside. I knew I had to use the contacts for this first day, but I was really hoping I could limit their use. I didn't want to have to use up four pair a day or I'd be paying more for contact lenses than I made working. Hopefully I wouldn't need to use many at all and I'd be able save what I'd already bought for emergencies.

I walked into the lobby, and there was an older Hispanic lady in her mid-forties talking to Anna behind the counter. I walked across the room to them so we could get started.

"Hey, Anna, I guess I'm ready to start…" I said a little self-consciously.

"Hi, Bella, Go ahead and come back here to the office. I have some forms and paperwork you need to fill out, and then I'll turn you over to Elisha here to get started."

I walked around the counter, and then Anna introduced me to Elisha.

"Bella Swan, this is Elisha Espinoza, she's in charge of our cleaning staff, and she'll be your supervisor. She works on the day shift, but she'll train you tonight, and she'll be checking up on your work. Normally she goes home about now, but she'll give you your assignments each night before she leaves."

I nodded, and Elisha held out her hand to shake mine while she looked me up and down with an appraising eye. She didn't seem too impressed, and didn't seem at all afraid of me. I reached out and shook her hand, and she didn't flinch at the cold, but then I'd just walked in from outside, and it was cold out.

I followed Anna into the office, but Elisha didn't follow us in. Anna indicated that I should sit down in front of the desk, and she started handing me forms to fill out. It was all of the typical paperwork you had to fill out to start a new job. There was a W-4 for income tax withholding, and emergency contact information. I had to read and sign a corporate ethics policy. Basically it said I wouldn't go through the things in the guest's rooms, and I wouldn't steal anything. I wasn't planning to, so I was ok with it. Finally I was done, and Anna led me back out to turn me over to Elisha.

She led me around the back of the office into a long hallway that ran the length of the building. There was an elevator directly across from the archway we'd walked through out of the lobby, and a stairway next to it that led to the second story. She led me toward the end of the building where the swimming pool was.

"Ok, Missy, lets get started. You don't use the front door. That's for paying guests. You come in the side door down here," and she pointed out the glass door at the end of the building. "This is our employee locker room back here, and you'll come here to get your assignments for the night."

I didn't answer but nodded to show I understood. I guess she didn't like that.

"Ok, I get it, you're nervous about starting out. You will answer me, 'yes ma'am' if you understand what I'm telling you. Ok?"

"Yes ma'am."

She nodded as we walked into the room. There were half a dozen lockers along one wall. There was a time clock with a rack of time cards next to it, and a bulletin board with what looked like some schedules and lists. There was a table in the middle of the room with some chairs around it, and a TV on a stand next to a door. The door was open and the next room was a large laundry room and supply storage.

"Here, you can use this locker here," and she indicated a locker with my name written on a piece of tape stuck to the front of it. "Go ahead and put your purse in there, and hang up your coat." Then she rummaged around by the time clock while I did what she said.

"Yes ma'am." I said as I did what she told me.

"You can bring a lock if you want one, but you'll pretty much be here by yourself most of the time. This is where you punch in at the start of your shift, and punch out when you leave." She showed me my time card. My start time for today was hand written in for nine o'clock.

"You start at nine, and you're off at five AM, unless Anna says otherwise. Don't be late. In fact, I leave at nine, so you better be here early so I can tell you what to do. If I'm sick, or you're late, the schedule and assignments are on the board. I don't have you on the list yet, so I'll tell you what to do tonight."

I nodded and then remembered to answer as she glared at me. "Yes ma'am."

She nodded and then she handed me a plastic key card with a magnetic stripe on the back. "That'll open the door on the side of the building so you can get in. Don't lose it, or we'll deduct five bucks from your paycheck to replace it. C'mon, let's get the rest of your stuff." She walked back into the supply room where the washers and dryers were.

She looked me over again, and then took a white uniform shirt off of a rack where there were a row of shirts on hangers and handed it to me. "You can wear this over your t-shirt, or change into it. Whichever suits you. Get a clean one each night and leave the dirty one in the laundry before you leave."

She waited for my reply, and I answered her. "Yes ma'am." I said as I went ahead and put the shirt on over my t-shit while she continued.

"Jeans are ok tonight because you didn't know any better, but we have a dress code. We supply the uniform shirt; you're expected to show up in black or dark blue slacks or pants. No holes, no jeans, no shorts. Wear comfortable shoes. Your sneakers are ok as long as they're in good repair and look neat. No sandals, no flip flops, no open toed shoes."

She waited for me to answer her, and I told her "Yes ma'am," again. Then she handed me a nametag with my name on it from a plastic tape label maker. I pinned it on to my shirt where she had hers over the left breast.

She reached for another red plastic key card hanging on a hook on the wall next to the uniform shirts. It was on a lanyard so you could wear it around your neck. "Ok, this is the master key card for all of the rooms. You can open all of the doors with it so you can get into the rooms to clean. You don't lose it. It stays around your neck unless you're opening a door, then its back around your neck, understand? You lose it, you lose your job. No second chances. It goes back on the hook at the end of your shift. If it isn't on your neck or in a door, it goes on this hook. Understand?"

She was waiting for my reply, and I answered her. "Yes ma'am."

"Ok, when you get here at the start of your shift, get a load of laundry going first thing. I already did that before you got here. We'll go over how you do that when these loads are done. You'll want to keep the washers and dryers going if there are a lot of linens and towels to wash. It isn't too bad now, but they'll be running night and day when the summer season gets into full swing."

I nodded and said, "Yes ma'am."

"Ok, let's go over your cart." She indicated a four wheeled cart loaded with cleaning supplies, fresh linens and clean towels and wash cloths. There was a laundry sack and a garbage bag hanging on the front and a vacuum cleaner and assorted cleaning supplies.

"There's a check list on the wall here for everything that should be on the cart. It should be ready to go when you get here. You responsible for re-stocking it and having it ready for the next shift before you leave. All of the supplies are in the cabinets here. If anything breaks or doesn't work right, fill out one of these forms, and we'll get it fixed. If there's anything wrong in one of the rooms, write it up so it gets fixed." There was a basket of maintenance request forms, and a basket next to it to put the requests into.

I nodded and said, "Yes ma'am."

"Ok, check the cart, and if we're good to go, push it out into the hall."

I figured this was a test, so I studied the list, and then quickly went over the supplies on the cart.

"The dust pan and the spray bottle of glass cleaner are missing."

She nodded, and didn't look quite so critical now, but I could tell she wasn't cutting me any slack. "Huh, ok. Get'em out of the cabinet, and let's go."

I nodded and said, "Yes ma'am," and got a dust pan and bottle of glass cleaner out of the supply closet. I loaded them onto the cart, and easily pushed it out into the hall. She nodded down the hall the way we'd come, and I walked beside her as I pushed the cart.

"Go to the elevator, we're going to start on the second floor. I don't know what you're used to, but you're here to work. Girls like you come in here, and think this is easy money, but they don't last too long. You're gonna get your hands dirty, and I don't care about your manicure or how much you paid to get your nails done. You do windows, and I won't stand by for slackers. I expect every room you clean to be perfect and meet my standards, got it?"

"Girls like me?" as I pushed the cart into the elevator.

"Have you ever worked a day in your life, Missy? You walk in here with your perfect hair and your expensive jeans. The pretty ones always think they're too good for this kind of work… They expect to make up some beds and do a little light dusting, and call it good. What, you need money for concert tickets or to go party on the weekend with your friends? I put two kids through college, and I'm still paying for my youngest. This is real work. It's my way or the highway, and my standards are high. If you can't cut it, you're out."

I nodded again said, "Yes ma'am. I'm here to work. I'm all my little girl and my mom have. I need this job."

"How old's your baby?" She asked. Then she glanced down at my ring.

"Four months…"

"What about your man?" She asked, nodding at the ring as I pushed the cart out of the elevator and started down the hall the way she nodded.

"He's in the service... He's not around..."

"Hunh, ok. Well you got a reason to work hard. Let's see if you step and do the right thing."

We got to the first room at the top of the stairs, and Elisha told me to use the master key card to open the door. The cart stayed in the hallway, and she showed me what I needed to do. There had been a guest in this room, but they had checked out today, so it got the full treatment.

There was another checklist on the cart, and it listed everything that I was supposed to do to clean the room. The service included changing the bed linens, vacuuming the carpet and sweeping the hard floor surfaces, mopping, dusting, wiping down glass surfaces like mirrors and windows, scrubbing showers, sinks and toilets, and ensuring that the rooms were stocked and up to industry standards.

I had to make sure the individual coffeemaker was clean and stocked with coffee making supplies, but that was easy because everything was prepackaged in a plastic bag, I had to make sure there were fresh towels and washcloths, make sure the soaps, shampoo and toiletries were fresh, full and sealed and check all the drawers to make sure nothing was left behind by the previous guest.

Elisha silently watched me clean a couple of rooms, and grudgingly nodded approval. Then we went back down to the laundry room. She showed me what to do with the clean linens and towels that came out of the dryer; how I was expected to fold them and where to store them. Then she explained how to use the industrial washers and dryers to get another load going. She gave me a list of rooms to clean, basically the rest of the second floor, and then she left me to my tasks to go home.

I stayed busy the rest of the night. Once Elisha was gone, I didn't have to try and move slowly to pretend to be human. The dirt and disorder stood out clearly to my powerful eyesight, and I knew what needed to be cleaned from my much more sensitive sense of smell. I didn't need to worry about which rooms had guests in them, because I could hear their muted heart beats behind the heavy doors along the hallway. Having them safely sealed away in the privacy of their rooms made my job easier.

It had been difficult standing in the confined space of the elevator with Elisha, but I'd kept the cart between us, and the heavy chemical stink of the cleaning supplies had helped to mute her human scent. She'd been conscious of her personal space and hadn't gotten in my face or crowded me when she was training me tonight.

My control wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I hadn't screwed up or had an accident yet. So far I hadn't been exposed to actual blood from an open cut or an accident yet. This kind of job was going to help me work on my control and help me desensitize myself to the human scent faster than finding random opportunities to meet and interact with humans. Hopefully I'd be prepared for the scent of blood when it happened. I knew I'd be exposed to it eventually. It was just a matter of time.

There were humans around me all night long, but they were mostly sleeping and behind closed doors. In the mean time, I was constantly bombarded by their human scent and the sound of their beating hearts. The rooms I cleaned were awash in the scent, and the linens and towels I laundered literally reeked of human. It intensified the burn, but it was something I was going to have to come to terms with and learn to deal with.

I checked in with Anna at the end of my shift, and she was getting ready to leave too. The morning shift was coming in so I quickly rushed through some cursory introductions, and then punched out to leave before the atmosphere became too oppressive and I had to make a run for it. I had completed all of my tasks, the cart was restocked, the keycard was hanging up, and all of the laundry was folded and put away. Maybe I came off as anti-social, or just tired and ready to leave but I just said hello and then grabbed my things and left.

I walked along the sidewalk and then the shoulder of the road in the early pre-dawn light until I was sure nobody was watching, and then melted into the forest and ran home. Elizabeth and Renee were still asleep, and I didn't expect them to be up for hours. They were working on adjusting their schedule, but it would take time. I took a shower to try and wash away some of the human stench that clung to me, and then I sat down to work on my online classes. It helped pass the time until Elizabeth got up.

I took Elizabeth outside to play when she got up. The sun was still up in the late afternoon and we went running in the forest. We had fun together just running and playing and spending time together. Finally we went back to the cabin to spend time with Renee. She'd taken the opportunity to call Phil while she had some privacy, and now she was depressed. We tried to cheer her up, and she smiled and tried to be cheerful for Elizabeth, but I knew it was an act.

We settled in for the evening and played some board games. I learned chess at the Cullens' but I hadn't truly appreciated the complexity of the game until after my change. I'd taught both Renee and Elizabeth how to play and we'd often take turns challenging each other. It was as fun for us observing as it was to play. We also enjoyed Risk and Monopoly. Monopoly had been useful for explaining the concept of money to Elizabeth, and now she was usually banker when we played.

If somebody had told me a year ago that my four month old baby girl was going to be able to run and laugh and read and play board games with me, beat me at chess and be the banker when we played monopoly together, I would have laughed in their face. I would have told them they were insane, and seriously wondered what drugs they were taking. But that was my reality now, and despite the issues we faced and the dangers involved, I was happy.

There were times when I missed Edward and what we'd shared together, but he'd made his decisions and left. I had responsibilities now, and I had my own family to take care of now. The three of us were happy together. Or at least Elizabeth and I were happy. Renee put on a brave front for us, but I knew she still missed Phil dearly. It was heartbreaking to hear her lie to him on the phone, and then she'd be so quiet after they hung up. It was the one dark cloud hanging over our perfect little world.

Author's Note:

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