Only for Him
I sat by the common room fire, trying – in vain, of course – to gather some warmth from its dying embers. It was December, one of the coldest I could remember, and I was silently cursing out the castle for overlooking the necessity of a magically-enforced heating system.
It's Scotland, for Merlin's sake! Hogwarts has been around for centuries. Eons. Surely by now they would have thought of –
"Nearly a thousand years, actually," an amused voice called from behind me.
I jumped. "Sirius – what are you – it's nearly two in the morning!" And had I really spoken aloud?
"I could ask you the same thing in slightly more coherent terms," he replied, pushing a couch up next to me.
I would have come up with a snarky reply to that, but my brain was a bit frazzled at the moment from studying earlier.
Er. If you consider hiding from my friends' prying eyes in the library with Potter studying.
"So what exactly wereyou and Jamesie doing in the library, hmm?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows.
I rolled my eyes. "Studying, Black. Exams are in two weeks, as I'm sure you've forgotten."
"Mmhmm," he said, giving me a kind of knowing look that should not be on his face. Whatever. I was too tired to care at the moment.
I yawned. "Well, I'll just be heading back to my dormitory, then –"
"Evans, wait." The smirk was gone from his face, replaced with a grim resignation I didn't know Sirius was capable of. He actually looked... mature.
I turned back around with a sigh, leaning on the edge of an armchair. "Yes?"
"You know I fucking hate your guts, right?"
I nodded. Of course I knew. He'd made that clear since first year, when he'd asked me out and promptly thrown a strawberry at my face upon rejection. "And?"
"And you know I won't hesitate to hex your pretty little face off if you hurt James any more than you have already, correct?"
Well, that one hurt a bit, especially since he was completely right. Poor James had been subject to the Wrath of Lily for six years. "Do go on."
"Well, if by some miracle you manage not to fuck this all up –" thank you, Sirius, for having such faith in me – "I might think of giving you a second chance."
A second chance at what, exactly? Being supportive of his animosity against Severus? Uh-uh. Absolutely not.
"I mean a second chance at – at friendship."
Well, that was unexpected.
He ran a hand through his messy-yet-somehow-nice hair he and James seemed to share. "I mean, I think we would really get along if we didn't hate each other so much."
"Yes, that tends to complicate things."
He turned to look at me, his face reflecting nothing but sincerity for one unsullied moment. "So, will you think about it?"
I hesitated for a second, not sure whether he was serious or not. "I…"
"It's only for James, you know. I don't think he enjoys having his best mate and girlfriend constantly at odds." The solemnity was gone already, but there was a certain airiness about him that seemed rather forced.
I nodded. "Alright, Black, I accept."
"Good." He grinned. "So, about that Charms essay…"
I swatted him on the shoulder. "Just because I'm your friend now does not mean you get to copy my homework, Sirius Black!" But I was laughing, too.
"Fine, fine." He stood up, brushing off his clothes. "But remember, Lily-flower – this is all for James. Got it?"
"Of course."
"Right, then." He walked to the dormitory stairs. "See you at breakfast."
As we both ascended to our respective dorms, it occurred to me what a contradictory person Sirius was. He claimed to disassociate himself with the rest of his crazy family, but he was still one of them: what he said and meant were two different things, and he damn well knew how to get people to do what he wanted. It was the reason girls liked him so much – he knew exactly how to make them fall in love with him.
I frowned. Was this what he was trying to do to me – pretend to be my friend for the sake of James, and completely cut me off when he wasn't around? That was what he'd claimed, anyway. "This is all for James. Got it?"
But he wouldn't tell me what he was going to do, or why – that wasn't his style. Was it possible… was it possible that Sirius Black actually wanted to be my friend?
For once in my life, I found myself hoping that he did.
A/N: While I'm in the habit of posting things out of order, here's this. Also written for brazenser's Everything Goes Challenge with General Prompt 48: Secret.
