I just sat in the chair as he opened the door and closed it behind him, and I could hear bits of what was happening next door, but I couldn't move.
It was pretty near to the strangest experience I'd ever had, and it took me some few minutes to slow my heartbeat, from the adrenaline or the fear, I couldn't be sure.
His eyes were what I thought of first. They were flat, and made a very good show of being emotionless; except that I swore he flinched when he saw that he'd made me flinch. I could have imagined it, but I was still trying to sort it out.
And then, as if I'd forgotten it entirely, I remembered what took my father from the room. I'd been so caught up in my curiosity about the Strategos, who I knew was the Folken I'd known when I was eleven, even if he refused to admit it, that my thoughts of the other man who'd left me were subsumed.
Allen.
I rose from the chair, my legs shaky for a moment, and I cleared my throat. I was always the still one, always the predictable princess, and it would not do to have what just happened playing across my face as well as stumbling around. I smoothed my dress, and took short, quick steps (as much as my dress would allow) out of the room, following where Folken had gone.
He had entered the main hall by a door on the periphery, and I saw him hiding in the shadow of the curtains.
Quietly, I crept up the same lane, peeking through to see what was happening.
Allen.
He told of the attack on the fort by Zaibach, who were obviously abusing the treaty we held with them.
And then Folken stepped into the light, and in that thick silken voice, informed him and the rest of the hall of the same things he had said to us in the chamber. Fanelia attacked first, its king was a fugitive, the attack could have been helped if only Allen had given up his guest.
I wondered, as I half-listened to the reiteration, how he managed to lie through his teeth like that. Fanelia was his country, the king was his brother – why would Fanelia, that isolationist country, attack Zaibach? Zaibach was obviously the stronger, and what could they want with Fanelia anyway?
The questions raced through my mind, and I heard clearly Father informing Allen that chivalry alone could not save a country, and I peeked, and saw Allen's body tense. He wanted so much to answer back, but even were he in a position to do so, his past with my Father made him hold his tongue. I watched him rise, and turn, and walk out of the room, past me, without ever seeing me, anger and pain on his face. I gripped the banner in whose shadow I had been hiding, and bit my lip. I wanted to go to him, I wanted…I don't know what I wanted.
And I was distracted enough not to hear someone approach me from behind.
"Princess," the molasses voice said. I froze, my muscles tensed. But I took a breath and turned on my heel.
"Yes?"
He stood there, staring at me, and I thought he might have more to say, but instead he murmured a "your majesty" and slid past me in the narrow shadows.
My mind was all over the place – Allen, Folken, Fanelia and Zaibach…Folken. There was something there that I was missing, something I couldn't figure out, and it irritated me more than I cared to admit. Folken was keeping something – from me, from everyone. And not just on the matter of his lies about Fanelia's attack.
Why was he so adamant that I not reveal, or even know, his true identity? How could he walk around with the same name and the same hair, and the same eyes and not think he'd be recognized?
I returned to my room, and watched out the window as a black carriage waited at the bridge. I saw the dark shape of Folken, and then I saw him turn to face someone else on the bridge. I could not see the movement of their lips, but I knew they must be talking. Who are you talking to? And then there was an explosion, and I gasped, and then the carriage was leaving and Folken was gone.
I let out a sigh.
Why was I even angry with him? Why did I care he was lying? I mean, I cared that he was lying about Zaibach and Fanelia, but I was confused as to why I cared even more that he was trying to get me to believe he wasn't the person I thought he was. Why did he tell me to forget him?
I rested my chin on my hand, my elbow propped on the windowsill, the carriage long out of sight. I remembered the boy who smiled at me, and I smiled to myself at the thought of his unruly hair and his crimson eyes that twinkled when he smiled.
Then I let out a laugh. Oh god. Did I have a crush on him? Is that why I'm so bent out of shape? I had a crush on Folken Fanel when I was eleven, and I held out some hope that we would meet again? Except for he was dead, and that was impossible.
Now it's not, my thoughts reminded me.
Well, he is right though, there is something off; he isn't quite the boy you remember.
But I can't shake this feeling that he is. Somewhere under that cool exterior, he is the boy I remember. Otherwise why would he threaten me? Who cares if he's the long lost and thought dead brother of Van Fanel? This is between Fanelia and Zaibach, it has nothing to do with us.
And I remembered the metal arm, the claw, and how his voice, which I was so distracted from because then he was walking towards me, and then those sharp metal fingers were right by my face, there had been emotion in his voice, and I was just too scared to hear it. Or was I making it up, was I remembering it differently than it was?
"Do you remember this, Eries Aston?" His voice was a harsher whisper when he said the word 'this'. And he had stared at me, so steadily, like he was challenging me. Then he was closer, and closer, and I tried desperately not to sink farther into the chair.
"That boy is dead."
And when he had said to forget him, had there been a bit of sadness in that voice then?
I didn't get a chance to entertain another thought, because there was a knock at my door.
I beckoned the person to enter.
"Princess," my handmaiden bowed slightly, and informed me that my presence was requested at dinner that evening, in the royal dining hall.
I nodded to her, but my back twitched, remembering those chairs.
# # # # #
At dinner, Allen finally had to look at me.
But it was only the briefest of glances, before my sister Millerna commandeered his attentions.
My stomach churned at the thought of another of my sisters throwing herself at him.
"Allen, Millerna has been betrothed to Lord Meiden's eldest son."
Millerna was furious with me, but Allen took it in stride. In fact, I saw with relief, that he seemed genuinely happy for her. But it had been many years since I knew Allen Schezar, and I was in no place to judge.
So I followed him after dinner, meaning to speak to him. There was now no friendship to lose over confronting him, like there had been with Marlene. But I would not have a repeat of what happened five years ago. Some part of me still cared for Allen, and despite our differences, I cared for Millerna.
Marlene had grown to love her husband, and while she never spoke of Allen in her letters, I knew it weighed on her that she had never given a thought to the Duke in her tryst with Allen.
I would not give Millerna the chance to live with that sort of regret.
I followed him to the guest quarters, and I watched him for a few moments, watching the strange handmaiden sleep.
"Allen."
"Princess Eries. Can I help you Princess?"
"Stop leading Millerna on." He opened his mouth as though to rebuke me, but I did not give him the chance. "I know that Millerna is still infatuated with you. But you…you're just replacing Marlene with her. Millerna's growing to be more and more like Marlene. It may be natural for you to see her in Millerna, but she's not Marlene. I don't want to see Millerna hurt. It's always the woman who ends up being hurt!" I surprised myself with that, not realizing when I had brought myself into it. I was hardly thinking of my sisters.
"I will never fall in love again," he said softly.
My gaze went to the girl on the bed, the handmaiden with the short hair and the short dress.
And I didn't believe him.
"Liar," I said to his face, and I ran out of the room before I did anything else so stupid.
# # # # #
When my father was summoned to the flying fortress, I asked to go with him.
He took my shoulder, and shook his head.
"No, Eries. I do not know what we will find on that ship. I do not want you to be in danger."
I wanted to tell him that Folken would never hurt him or me, but I saved those words. He was clearly not thinking of just one man.
So I waited for him, alone, while Palas burned.
A/N: Dammit. I swear this was not supposed to be an Allen/Eries fic. It's just taking awhile to get to where Eries and Folken can have any sort of repartee.
