Disclaimer: I obviously don't own any of the material that belongs to the realm of Tortall

A/N: Sorry about my lateness... I'm delving into the world of APs and it's hard to escape and find time to update... This chapter is most certainly not as good as it could be, but at least I posted it! It's a bit choppy... if you have any suggestions on how to fix that do tell! Sorry about the millions of grammar errors... try and overlook them and if you see any truly atrocious ones please let me know.


March 21st mid-afternoon

I'm taking the fleeting moments between morning activities and lunch to write down what happened this morning. It was a wonderful morning to say the least, but I don't want to get ahead of myself.

I woke up before dawn and did some easy exercises to loosen up my muscles. I stretched out and then went to clean up before breakfast. I came back from the washroom and bound my chest flat. I strapped my ankle knives into place and pulled my breeches up over my loincloth. I got a soft white shirt out and put a simple green tunic over it. I pulled some boots over the bottoms of my breeches and tied the laces. I struggled with my frizzy hair and managed to tug it into a tight braid down my head (like a French braid). I realize that hair is the first thing boys grab for in a fight, so I wove in a spiked leather thong at the tail end of my plait.

I got my sword out and did some practice dances to eat away the time that I would've spent anxiously waiting. I steadily picked up pace until my sword was a blur in the air. Half way through my second pattern at a short pause in my swinging the bell rang and I realized that I was so concentrated I had missed the first bell. I smiled and sheathed my sword. I knew from Kenyon that the main thing to avoid as a green page was showing off. I figured if I brought my sword today it would only end badly, so I locked it back up and dropped the key in my pocket.

I stepped out my door and was met with a bucket of cold water. The boys ran away before I could grab them and make them pay for their grievous mistake. No one messes with an Aquinas.

I hurried to change my clothes and cautiously opened my door. No one was there, although written on my door in chalk was, "GO AWAY! You're no better than the others!" I shook my head at their ignorance and smudged out the writing. I ran to the mess hall and prayed to Mithros for luck.

Apparently the Gods were temporarily in my favor; I arrived just in the knick of time. I got myself a tray and rushed over to Kenyon's table where someone had saved me a seat. Lord Padraig said a short blessing and after he took his first bite Kenyon turned to me with an exasperated look. "I thought you weren't even coming! What if you had been late, or worse… wait a second, why's your hair all wet?"

"Some of the pages took it upon themselves to give me a bath when I walked out my door this morning."

"How kind of them," he replied sarcastically.

"Tell me about it." I looked at my food and felt like I wanted to puke. The jitters I'd had all night came back like a stampede and turned my stomach upside-down. "I don't think I'm having breakfast today," I said a little too loudly.

"Don't be ridiculous," said a voice down the table. It was the Protector's nephew, Tavis. "My aunt always says, 'Those who do not eat before battle are eaten by battle' It's an old Yamani proverb and it's the truth."

Another boy piped in, "If you puke it really is no big deal. We all have before battle, after a hard run, or your first tilting match. I know I have." It was the giant McClain. The idea of him puking before battle because of nerves was ridiculous, and the thought made me laugh.

"Ok I guess I'll eat a little." I admitted defeat and took a bite of muffin.

By the end of breakfast I was much more relaxed, but as soon as Lord Paidrag stood the butterflies returned. I felt like all I wanted to do was turn tail and run home, but I gritted my teeth and stayed where I was. I just told myself over and over 'you can do this'.

"Today we will run the curtain wall." There was a collective groan from the pages. "Because of that insolence you must run it twice. You must never doubt your commander! However, whoever finishes first will be relieved of their punishment duty on Sunday." That brought a smile to a few faces, but the majority still seemed utterly bummed.

I was excited; it was my first test and a chance to prove myself to those nasty boys. I'm a natural runner, with long legs and the lungs of an accomplished swimmer. I hoped that this curtain wall would prove to be no problem.

We walked out of the mess hall and down corridors till we reached a narrow staircase that led straight up. At the top I gasped. The view was stunning. You can see the rivers, the city, the countryside, the palace, and the vast royal forest. I had been distracted by the view and so I had missed the command to commence running. Boys bumped into me from every direction, including one well-placed elbow that drove straight in-between the muscle in my upper arm. I jolted into motion, trying to shake off the pain, and dodged around other pages until I was running even with Kenyon. I looked out in front us and realized just how long the curtain wall was. It encompasses the entirety of the front of the palace and is at least a mile long.

I evened my breathing and settled myself for a lengthy run.

Since there was nothing else to do I reflected on my character, what made me, me? I'm determined, strong-minded, impatient, a little bit arrogant. Are these traits that make friends? No, I thought, answering my own question. But I'm more than that, I love laughing and clowning around with friends, not that I have many. I guess I'm a little lonely, but I like to do things on my own. I hate being dependent on others. I realized that this is one of my crucial faults. My determination to do things by myself had led me to countless injuries as a child. I have no problem helping others, but when it comes to others helping me I can't stand it. Is it because I'm too proud? Does pride make people not want to be friends with me? Is that why?

As I had these deep thoughts I looked up to find that, unknowingly, we had already turned around at the end of the wall. I discovered that I had run my way to the front of the pack. I turned to see my companions, who were clearly the best runners of the bunch. With me was Kareem (the quiet Bahzir), Nolan (the handsome swordsman), Kenyon, and two other boys who appeared to be twins.

I lengthened my stride to get the most out of every step. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and resigned myself to just run, no more complex thoughts on character.

As I near the end of a run, when I start tiring and breathing heavily, my body falls into a mode where all else floats away. All that matters is the finish line. Worries, fears, and excitements all evaporate and leave behind the steady pounding of my feet. We were once again nearing the end of the wall and I saw that the boys around me had started to move quicker in an attempt to win the punishment free Sunday. Unfortunately for them, they were running on the last of their energy. Kenyon and one of the twins fell back, unable to keep up with the pace. Nolan and Kareem both looked like death and I easily passed them, staying steadily behind one of the twins.

I could've won, but Kenyon's warning stuck in my head. Plus I didn't have any punishment duty. I had nothing to gain by winning except more hatred from the pages. I slowed my pace and watched as the twin hit the wall, grinning triumphantly. I followed shortly thereafter and walked to the side taking a few moments to catch my breath and make sure that my muscles didn't cramp up. I walked over to the twin and offered my hand saying, "Good race! Congrats on the win."

"I don't need your praise!" he said, with words like venom. "I will never let you beat me. You're just a whore who doesn't deserve to be here. My brother and I will always be there, putting you in your place. Hopefully you'll get the message and leave before you get hurt." He spat at my feet, gave me a nasty look, and turned to talk to his brother who had just finished.

I felt like I had been verbally slapped. No one had ever been so viciously mean to me. I pulled my hand back from where it still awkwardly hovered. I would teach him to never treat me like that. He would regret his words; I would make him regret them.

I was still quietly fuming and swearing terrible curses under my breath by the time everyone had finished the race.

"The winner is Siya of DeCross. Now hurry, it's time for archery." Lord Paidrag vanished off the wall and once again the pages hurried to follow.

I found Kenyon and his friends and walked with them. My brother smiled down at me and said, "Where in the world did you learn to run like that? You looked like an antelope."

I laughed and answered, "There are a lot of things you don't know about me Kenyon." He looked dumbstruck at the thought that his little sister could possibly be hiding anything from him. "Don't worry, I'm not pregnant." The boys laughed at my joke as we walked towards the practice yard.

I shot with the other first years and hit the center every time. I could see Lord Padraig watching me. I hope he was pleased. I later discovered through the chatter around me that the pages were not in fact divided by year at all. There were four groups of ten or so boys that were organized completely based on skill level. However, the fourth group was mostly fourth years with the exception of two 3rd years, Kareem and Nolan, and one 2nd year, Tavis. I was surprised at this unusual technique, but also pleased that Lord Paidrag recognized the need to teach the boys at different rates.

I followed the rest of group 1 to staff practice. With my master, the Shang Wolf, I had trained rigorously with the staff everyday. The slow pace and the monotony of the activity discouraged me, but I knew that if I slacked off I could easily have my fingers whapped and be shamed in front of HaMinch. I couldn't risk that so I stayed alert and played along with the beginner's pace.

Finally it was over. Next was hand-to-hand combat. I was so excited. Of all fighting styles this is my favorite. It is so natural, so basic. It's just you and your body doing the best you can do. There are no tricks, no hidden knives or poison darts to avoid.

The Shang Horse pulled our group over so that we could review basic techniques, such as falling. I knew that this would be one of the tests, so I prepared myself. When my turn came in the line I offered my left hand up so he could toss me into the air. Unfortunately as soon as I felt that tug my body overcame my mind and sprung into defensive action. My Master had grilled me in this since day one, and I responded instantaneously.

I brought my left knee up straight into his sternum, which was followed by my right fist to the center of his spine. I knew this would momentarily stun his senses. I dropped to the ground and brought my leg up in a strong low kick to the back of his knees, which buckled under the pressure. However, he was quick to recover and before I could back away he had swept my legs out from under me and I found myself in the dirt of the practice yard. Instead of getting up again and continuing the fight he just sat there, laughing on the ground.

I looked up and everyone was staring straight at us. I flushed under the eyes of so many boys and stood up, trying to regain some semblance of composure.

From the ground the Shang Horse said, "Eda! Remind you of anyone we know?"

"In fact she does remind me vividly of someone. I haven't seen a page stun you like that in, let's see… 12 years actually." The reply came from the other Shang who was helping the older pages; her name is Eda Bell or the Shang Wildcat.

I thought quickly in my mind about who had been a page 12 years ago. Then it hit me; Lady Keladry had been a first year page exactly 12 years ago. I was honored to be compared to such a prestigious figure. Eda made the boys return to their exercises, and I helped the Horse up from the ground.

He told the boys to continue practicing and then pulled me over to a fence and sat down with me. "Little one, where did you learn to fight like that? Those moves are only taught to young Shang warriors."

"Well Sir, for the past three years I have trained with a Shang. My Master taught me everything I know about fighting, and many other things too." I knew that I would be unable to keep at least this bare amount of information away from my teachers, but I resolved to never share my Master's name or gender in case someone might recognize it.

"Who is your master? Why didn't you continue training with him, or her?"

"I cannot tell you who my Master is, but I will tell you that I was unable to continue my training because of my duty to my country and to my Father. I figured that this would be the next best thing so I came here."

"Well I will respect your privacy on this issue. But I do ask one thing… To further evaluate your skills would you be willing to fight with the Shang Wildcat? Lord Paidrag and I could see how far your skills are compared to the other boys and place you in the correct group."

"I'd be happy to do that, I always enjoy a good fight." I smiled at the thought of fighting an accomplished opponent. I'd never had a fight with anyone other than my Master and I was excited.

"Well then, follow me. Why would we wait when there is an excellent fight to be seen." He hopped off the fence and strode over to Eda Bell. "Would you be so kind as to fight with this young lady here? I want to see how far her skills are, and I think a fight with you will be able to show us exactly what she can do."

"I'd be honored," she turned toward me and said, "Although you must know that I will not take it easy on you. I will fight you like I'd fight any other warrior."

"I know, I would expect no less," I replied.

"Well let's get this show on the road."

Together we walked over to an empty practice yard and hopped over the fence onto the hard packed dirt. Lord Paidrag leaned on the railing to watch. A few soldiers working on their skills nearby also came over to witness the fight between the mature Shang Wildcat and the twelve-year-old girl page.

I shut out all other influences and focused solely on my opponent. I couldn't let the gathering crowd distract me or I was sure to lose.

We circled each other for the longest time, neither wanting to make the first move. As a principal the Shang's are taught to never instigate a fight if they don't have to. After what seemed like centuries Eda said, "You were taught well, it is the Shang way to never start what doesn't need to be started. However, this needs to begin somehow."

In a flash she swung her leg up, aiming for my upper chest and throat. I dropped to the floor and swung my leg out, knocking her one planted foot off the ground. I knew she would recover quickly so I jumped up and into a back handspring that would take me as far away as possible in the least amount of time.

I watched as she lifted herself from the ground in slow deliberate movements. "This is going to be fun," I heard her say.

She swung out with her right arm, which I blocked with my left. I took the opportunity, and brought up a strong uppercut with my right arm. I hit her squarely on the jaw just as her left fist slammed into my stomach. I didn't have time to recover my lost breath because she was upon me again. This time I used a Shang technique used to turn the enemy's weight against them. I ducked under her punch, grabbed her arm, made a quick turn, and flung her head-first over my hip.

She immediately sprang up and was back, throwing punches quicker than lighting. I blocked some, took some, and returned some. I had decided that I was tired of this punching game. She faked a throw with her left arm, but I wasn't easily fooled. Her real punch came with a strong right hand to my cheek. I caught her fist, twisted her arm up and around her back, and met her with a knee into her abdomen. I knew that the force of my knee had probably broken her ribs, but this wasn't the time to hold back.

Unfortunately I hadn't taken into account her free hand. It grabbed me and twisted me around until I was being pummeled with continuous blows to my side. I stamped down hard with my shoe onto her foot and knew that I had just broken her toes. She released me and I quickly did some calculations.

I stepped in like I was going to start punching again; she put up her fists in preparation. However, I had something else planned. I did a quick cartwheel and vaulted over her in a high back flip. When I landed she was too slow in turning and I lashed out in a kick to the back of her upper thigh. She twisted and grabbed my foot, and I knew I was in trouble.

She threw me to the ground and sat on my chest, holding me legs back with hers. I tried to block her punches but they came so quickly and with so much force that I wasn't able to defend myself from most of them. She landed a solid blow to the bridge of my nose and I heard it crack. Blood flowed from my nose but I ignored the rising pain. I concentrated solely on my legs, and after a while I was able to free them from her vice like grip. I wrapped my feet around her neck and shoved her off of me.

Now the adrenalin was pulsing inside of me and I felt like I could live forever. I decided on a move that my Master had said was only taught to the best and the brightest of the Shang. I ran straight up to her and instead of hitting with a punch, I jumped into a front flip and flung my legs out to kick her in the chest. One foot slammed into her lungs and already broken ribs, and the other hit her shoulder.

I rolled away and got to my feet, ready for the next onslaught of attack. When none came I looked around. Eda Bell was lying on the ground unmoving. I ran to her screaming apologies and asking if she was ok. I reached her and the next thing I knew I was laying on the ground with her forearm resting on my windpipe.

"Never take pity on an old woman. Especially old conniving women, like myself." She smiled and helped me up, patting me on the back.

There were cheers all around us. The people on the fence were in uproar, there were pages grinning and whistling to me, soldiers screaming at the top of their lungs, and nobles in the back with smiles and polite clapping. At the back of the crowd I thought I saw a tall young woman with hazel eyes and freckled skin smiling, but when I looked back she was gone.

I probably would've fainted if a kind young man hadn't run out to me and rested his glowing emerald hand on my shoulder. Immediately I felt the dizziness recede and the pounding in my nose ease off. He gave me something to drink and as soon as it touched my lips I felt like fire had passed through my body.

"Who are you?" I asked with awe in my voice.

"My name's Neal. Nealan of Queenscove actually, but that's what my least favorite aunt calls me." He brought me over to the fence and had me sit down. "Now this might hurt a little, I have to pop your nose back into place. It looks like a really nasty break. Just a warning, even at the end of this you might have a little bump right there from the scarred cartilage. Is that ok?"

"Of course. I love battle scars." This probably sounded more like, "O cores. I wuv baddle scahs."

He laughed and said, "You sound like one of the lads. Ok hold still, and don't fight me."

He put his hands on my face and I could feel the tissue trying to knit itself back together again. There was an intensely painful 'POP' followed by more blood flowing from my nose. Neal quickly worked, trying to stop the blood flow and put my nose back together.

By the end of the healing I felt relatively human, although I sagged with exhaustion. I looked over to see that Eda had received the same treatment from an older man who looked strikingly similar to Neal. I realized this must be Duke Baird, the head healer in all of Tortall.

The crowd had dispersed and I spied Lord Paidrag telling all the pages to go back to work. The majority of the boys headed over to the stables but Kenyon stayed behind and came over to me.

"Thank you Lord Neal. It was very kind of you."

"I'm just doing my job, and please don't call me lord… it sounds ridiculous." He smiled and walked back to the palace with his father.

Kenyon helped me off of the fence and we walked over to the Shang Wildcat.

I bowed saying, "It was an honor to fight such an esteemed opponent. I'm sorry about your injuries and I hope they heal quickly."

She bowed back and said, "It was truly my pleasure! I hope your injuries heal quickly as well and I really hope that you stick around for a while. Maybe after I heal up we could go at it again." She turned and headed back towards the rest of the pages, leaving Kenyon and me to the hands of HaMinch.

"Well done Aquinas. That was impressive. Just make sure the rest of your skills are as honed as hand-to-hand. I can tell you're very tired from that healing. Go take a nap and we'll do your horseback-riding test tomorrow. Just make sure you show up for lunch and afternoon classes."

Kenyon wheeled me away from the training master and practically carried me to my rooms. The healing had caught up with me and I was almost asleep in my boots.

I fell into my bed and had a solid dreamless slumber in an instant.

I woke up an hour later to find that someone had brought hot water into my wash closet. I bathed and redressed. You're now caught back up to present. Uh oh, that was the lunch bell. I better get going.

Emma of Aquinas


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