After a while – Ide's lost track of time – the door flies open again. Mello strides into the room.

Right. What we're going to do is –

There's a crash. Breaking glass and footsteps storming towards them. Mello whirls round, sprints for the door again, already drawing his gun. Sirens. Then the shots start.

Ide knows he should care at least a little what happens next but he seems to have worn himself out caring too much about everything else. He slumps back against the wall again like the noise around him is nothing more than someone watching a movie in another room. More shots. Shouting. Too far away to hear what's being said.

Matsuda says, Ide.

It should be easy to ignore him but it really isn't.

Look, I know – I know you hate me. Matsuda's voice wobbles. But you've got to listen, all right? If we get out of this – if that's Kira people out there –

What makes you think it's Raito's lot? Ide's throat is dry. He thinks of water and then tries not to. I bet Mello's made a lot of enemies.

Raito can find us, Matsuda says. I know he can. And he'll ask me what happened. I'm just saying, if you're sulking and ignoring me, he'll want to know why. He'll know something's changed.

Ide twists round to look at him properly. Matsuda is glowering at him, hurt and frustration mingling under the bruises and dirt on his face. As if he's the one who's been wronged.

Are you going to tell him?

He wants to sound angry, but his voice is thin and scared.

I'll have to tell him Mello knows, Matsuda says. He's shaking a little. So I… I guess Raito will figure out you know. He'll ask me how you… took it.

As if Ide's response was so irrational.

Ide is staring at him and trying to think, kick his brain into making sense of all this, but there's nothing about it that does make sense. Matsuda is looking at him like he should be answering. Matsuda is waiting for him to answer and he can't work out what the question is.

Ide, Matsuda says, slowly, are... are you going to be sensible about this?

How dare Matsuda talk to him like he's the one in the wrong? How dare he? Matsuda lay back and let all this happen and didn't give a damn because Raito loved him. Ide has to fight not to yell as he retorts, Go ahead. Tell him whatever you want. It's not like my opinion matters to you, is it?

Matsuda goes white. He starts to say something else but he's drowned out by more shots, outside, and what sounds like the roar of a helicopter overhead. Footsteps and then the door is slammed open and a figure in police riot gear is staring down at them.

Are you both all right? You're not hurt? Ide vaguely recognises the voice. Someone from work. One of the watchers. The man throws something – keys, small and bright – to Matsuda, who fumbles the catch. Get yourself and him free and come on.

What – but what about –

We took one of them out. The other's fled. We're in pursuit. He won't get far. Come on.

Matsuda is crouching next to Ide now, fumbling with the key. Warm fingers against his wrist. Sometimes that kind of moment, a casual touch, sparks a jolt of different memories, of night, of touching – not that he'd admit to anyone he thinks about things like that – but this time it's handwriting he thinks of, fingers covered in ink, name after name –

Someone grabbing him by the arm. On your feet. The cop keeps a grip on his arm as they walk through the building. No sign of Mello or Matt. Ide wonders which one of them was killed. Faint, bleary sunlight through dusty windows. He is thinking run, he is thinking he missed a chance of escape, even though he knows there never was one.

Matsuda disappears in the crowd outside. Now he's out of sight Ide can think without being blinded by fury. But without the fury there isn't much except a horrible feeling of the ground having vanished from under him. Nothing – nothing makes sense – he thought, he thought that... and all the time... and Matsuda is on Raito's side, not his...

Matsuda is on Raito's side and so he's going to tell Raito everything –

He staggers to a halt, almost trips over his own feet. Matsuda will tell Raito everything and Ide will be revealed as someone who hates Kira and all he stands for and then he will die. Because Matsuda won't help him. Matsuda won't help him because Matsuda caused all this...

He's being pulled forward. Come on. You don't want to make trouble. A car nearby. He's being helped into it like he's somewhere between a criminal and a guest. The door slams and the sound jolts all the other thoughts out of his head. By the time he's back in his own mind, he's being driven away. The driver – not someone he recognises – doesn't speak to him, but watches.

Matsuda won't help him. Matsuda's on Raito's side.

And one of the last things Ide did was call him a stupid coward. Set out to hurt him.

Maybe it'll be quick. No, it likely will be quick. Maybe – maybe Matsuda will at least try and make it up to him that way, maybe there'll be a sentence about doesn't feel a thing or painless or –

He shouldn't have thought that, because now he's thinking about Matsuda being happy to let him die, Matsuda probably going to be the one killing him, and of all the stuff that's happened this is the part that upsets him? But it does, it feels like something scooped out of him, that Matsuda will do that and won't mind and I thought it was – I thought I was...

The car stops. They're back at the house. They're back at the house far too soon and this is the last hour of his life and how can it be happening and how can it be happening so fast

It's happening fast but yet every moment is long and heavy. He's upstairs. Waiting in a room near Raito's office. It feels like they've been there a while. Ide and someone else, one of the Kira hangers-on who's always at the house. Raito must be talking to Matsuda. Perhaps Ide won't even see either of them. Why is he just sitting and waiting when he's about to die? Why isn't he –

The door opens.

He's in a dimly lit corridor.

He's walking into Raito's office. Faint glow from a desk lamp. Raito pacing by the window. Matsuda sitting on the couch, resting his arms on his knees, twisting his fingers together. Ryuk a spiky shadow against the wall.

"Come here." Raito turns, stalks towards him. His eyes are narrowed. Ide can't remember the last time he saw him actually angry. Raito hasn't had anything to be angry about for weeks.

He finds himself sinking into the opposite couch. Stares at the floor, trying to keep Matsuda out of his line of sight.

"Matsuda's told me what happened," Raito snaps. "Mello was targeting the two of you. The smoke bomb. The explosives, to erase the evidence and give him time to get more information out of you. Which it sounds like he did. Extremely successfully." This last slightly over his shoulder. Matsuda slumps a little further. That – is that good? The whole point is that Matsuda is on Raito's side... Matsuda never had anything to be scared of...

"I doubt you can offer much more," Raito carries on, "but I want to make sure I know exactly what happened. So I can clarify exactly how much the two of you gave away."

Ide swallows. There's thick silence and he knows he's supposed to be talking but he doesn't know what to say.

Raito slams a fist down on the coffee table. The crash practically gives Ide a heart attack right there. He is trying to breathe and their faces are inches away and Raito is saying, quietly, fiercely, "I don't have time to mess about. You know as well as I do how unpredictable Mello is, and he'll be even more so now we've killed his accomplice. So hurry up."

Matsuda says, quietly, "Ide, it's all right. It's all right. Raito knows it was me who messed up. It's all right."

It's all right.

If – if it means that Matsuda has – if it means that he's not going to tell –

"Ide," Raito says, voice low, "stop being ridiculous and start telling me what happened."

Ide feels the words falling from him before he remembers starting to speak. That Mello talked to him alone first. That Mello was pretty sure Near was dead. That he wanted to know why Ide and Matsuda weren't. "He said if I didn't, if I didn't explain then he'd, he'd start picking on Matsuda and I couldn't. I mean. I couldn't. Matsuda was scared. I told him about what had happened to me. I switched sides and Aizawa's still holding out and Mogi's dead. That's all I said. He kept asking about Matsuda –"

"I think that's when he brought me back into the room," Matsuda says, voice shaking.

"I'm talking to Ide, not you."

Ide swallows again, the fear sticking in his throat like a hook, he doesn't even know who he's frightened of now. Matsuda said it was all right. Matsuda said it was all right... "He did. He did, he… said we should ask Matsuda some stuff. I didn't know anything about what had happened to him. He – I mean, Mello – he wanted to know why Matsuda has more freedom than I do and I didn't know. Then he…"

Then –

Raito takes a deep breath, straightens up a little, says with weary patience, "He asked why Matsuda has the privileges he does. You said you didn't know. What did Matsuda say?"

"I think… I think he said that he… he'd given in first and so… and Mello wasn't buying it. He said he'd expected us to be dead because we knew about things like the notebooks and the Eye deal and… and that's how he guessed it. That's… how he guessed… what Matsuda can do." His voice sounds far away. Everything is far away. "Matsuda knew the others in the explosion were dead."

Ryuk chuckles.

"You admitted it," Raito is saying to Matsuda, scornfully. "He proposed it as a gamble and you just told him exactly what you'd been doing."

Matsuda is stammering something like he knew it was one of us, he knew it was one of us and he didn't think it was Aizawa or Mogi, he knew it was one of us and I couldn't just, I couldn't…

"Shut up," Raito says, teeth gritted, and then, turning back to Ide: "So Matsuda admitted to Mello... what, exactly?"

Now Ide's started speaking it's easier to carry on. Speaking will make Raito less angry than silence will. "He told us that he... that he has the Eyes. He's been doing Kira's killings. He – he killed Near."

He sounds confused. Like he doesn't quite believe it. Like he made it all up.

Raito just says, "And then?"

Matsuda is staring at them both, wide-eyed, biting his lip.

Ide takes a breath – it feels like he hasn't done so for a long time – and manages to say, "Mello left us alone. He wanted to think. He wanted Matsuda dead but… we were waiting and I, I asked Matsuda to tell me how it happened…"

Raito goes still for a moment. Then he turns back to Matsuda.

"And you told him?" he says, as if he can't believe anyone could have been so stupid. "You told him all of it?"

Matsuda shrinks back a little.

"Matsuda," Raito says, slowly, deliberately. "Answer me."

Matsuda shudders. Eventually, he nods.

"I don't believe this," Raito says at last. "How could you be so stupid?"

Matsuda is shaking his head. "No, it wasn't – it wasn't you, I was – it was stuff about me – Ide wanted to know about me – and – and Mello had left –"

"Of course he left!" Raito yells, and Ide can't remember the last time he heard him raise his voice. "He wanted to give you a chance to talk alone! See what you'd say! How could you not have worked that out?"

"I..." Matsuda staggers to his feet. He looks as numb and shocked as if someone's ripped a chunk out of him. "I... I didn't know... Raito, please, I'm sorry..."

Raito turns to face him properly and punches him in the mouth.

Matsuda yelps and stumbles backwards, hands to his face, but the next moment he is speaking again, thickly, through his fingers, "Please, please, Raito, I'm sorry, you have to believe me –"

For a moment Ide's not there, he's just watching, and then suddenly he's too much there, hands curling into fists to find something to keep hold of, he can taste the blood, feel the ooze of it over his lips –

"I don't have to do anything for you," Raito says, breathing sharply, and Matsuda stops talking. "Get out of my sight. You're worthless. You're pathetic."

Ide can just see Matsuda's eyes widening behind his fingers. Ryuk has leaned forward, white face bright in the half-light, grinning as he watches the show.

They're standing up. Matsuda has grabbed Ide by the arm, his nails dig in, there are bloody fingerprints on Ide's sleeve. They are out in the corridor. Now it's too bright, it's like screaming. Worthless. Ide wants to say something, wants to make things be normal, but he's shaking too much almost to breathe, let alone talk.

A door opens and closes and they are in the dark now. Matsuda's room. Matsuda takes a deep breath. His lip is split, blood smearing his chin. He's closing the curtains. He's trembling so much it takes him a few tries to pull it off. Ide watches and wonders if he's watching Matsuda or himself. Raito hit Matsuda. Matsuda doesn't get hit. That's the point. He took the easy way out, he took the easy way out from the start...

Matsuda finally wrenches the curtains shut and they stare at each other. Matsuda looks exhausted and miserable and Ide remembers yelling at him, I don't have anything to say to you, and... and Raito doesn't know about it. Matsuda didn't say anything. He could have but he didn't and so Ide is still alive.

"You don't have to stay," Matsuda says at last. "If... if you don't want to."

He can't remember what he's supposed to want. Not to be dead is the main one, followed by not getting hurt for thinking the wrong things. Wishing for more than that would be ludicrous. He was shouting at Matsuda. He was angry. Now he's... now it's that he's just scared? Or that they're being watched?

"I... I don't mind," he manages to say. "Perhaps you... perhaps you don't want me around right now."

He wants – he didn't realise this until now – he wants Matsuda to say, No, I do, I need you, it was all a mistake, nothing's changed, it's not true, none of it is true but of course Matsuda just says: "Well, Rai – Raito doesn't want me around. So I don't..." and suddenly the rage is back as if Ide only left it for a second: Right, I'm second choice when Raito's too busy doing the killing himself, I'm the person you go to when you want to feel clever because you know so much more than me, and you know I'd do anything if you let me touch you and I wouldn't even notice the way every single thing you said was a lie –

Some of this must be showing on his face because Matsuda hisses at him, "Stop it. Just stop it. It's... it's..." He gulps and then, trying to drag his voice into normality, carries on, "Remember, it isn't you he's angry with. You haven't done anything wrong. Have you? You're just... you're just scared..."

Ide knows exactly why Matsuda is saying this and he should be grateful. He is grateful, because he's weak and frightened and has just had it brought home to him how much he doesn't want to die for his principles. But Matsuda is... what he's saying isn't true and yet he can make it true just by speaking it. It didn't used to be like this. It used to be that you could look at something and make up your own mind about it.

He mumbles, "I can't..." and it's probably I can't forgive you or I can't stand here and listen to this or I can't believe you're this delusional but it will be suicide to say any of those out loud so instead he just says, "I can't think..."

"You don't need to. You don't need to think about stuff, you just need to... to get some rest and then you'll feel better and everything will be okay."

He's moved closer and put a hand on Ide's arm, squeezed his shoulder, and Ide is slumping against him and it's still so familiar and then the realisation whips through his mind: saying what he knows I want to hear – always knew I'd be weak enough to fall for it – desperate and lonely and – I was grateful and Raito told him to do it –

Yes. That's what really hurts. That's what's really got to him. All this time he thought Matsuda was a victim. Like him. They were both paying the price for the side they'd picked and, okay, Matsuda had compromised more, Matsuda perhaps had had fewer doubts to begin with, but they were in this together. They were surviving together.

When instead –

"Ide, stop it." Matsuda is shaking. Ide can feel the hum of his words. "You're… you're freaked out after what happened, I get that, but… you've got to… you've got to stay calm. You – you know you've got to. I can't –" He swallows. "You've got to... to be sensible."

Ide feels like he's going to start yelling, or lashing out, but he can't, he can't, and so he presses his tongue against his teeth to keep all the words back. He does that and then he figures that means he is going to be sensible and so he nods and then it hits him, I have to be all right with this, I have to say it's all right about all the deaths, I have to say it's all right about him killing the SPK and then that he is only saying it because he doesn't want to die, and now who's the coward?

Matsuda holds onto him and whispers over and over again It's all right and Ide tries to clutch hold of all the – the horror, the disgust with himself, the rage at Matsuda and Raito for making him give in like this – grab hold of all of it and choke it down –

Eventually he's got himself under control and, if he doesn't let his mind wander, he doesn't feel much except exhaustion. He pulls himself away from Matsuda – they may as well start acting out the pretence that everything is fine – and Matsuda, eyeing him warily (perhaps he can feel that things aren't actually all right at all) mumbles something about how they should both get cleaned up, they should get something to eat. So that's what they do. Silence lies between them but Matsuda doesn't look like he notices. He stares into space, looking wretched. He keeps licking at his cut lip. Ide wishes he'd stop. He doesn't want to think about Raito being angry with them. Raito could lose his temper and write both their names down right now, if he wanted to.

It's later. It's completely dark and they're in bed together and Ide knows what's going to happen. Matsuda needs to prove that someone doesn't hate him. And so he's expecting it when Matsuda rolls over to face him, puts a shaky hand on his arm, kisses him, first awkwardly, close-mouthed, and then more firmly, breath and tongue hot, mouth tasting of blood. Ide had not thought about this happening again – he'd had too much else to consider – but now that it is, he is suddenly craving it. It will feel good and feel right and it won't be thinking about all of this –

Did Matsuda ever think like that? Sleeping with Raito after he found out the truth?

He shouldn't have thought that. He doesn't think about other people together anyway, he's not that kind of person. He shouldn't have thought it but with Matsuda half-on top of him it's hard not to. He knows how Matsuda's mouth feels, knows the sounds he makes and the kinds of things that he ends up doing, and, and Raito knows it too. Or maybe he doesn't. Maybe things are different between them. No reason to think you can generalise...

He pulls himself upright, away from Matsuda. He's glad it's dark because he can feel himself turning red and there's an unpleasant ache of embarrassment in his stomach. Raito is young and handsome and clever and Matsuda worships the ground he walks on. Ide is someone he slept with to win over to the side of righteousness. And all this time Ide was behaving as if was something more.

"Ide? You okay?"

Matsuda can't take a hint, of course.

"Fine."

He's not fooling anyone.

"You... you said..." Matsuda begins, and Ide can feel him shaking a little, "We said everything's okay. Nothing's changed."

For god's sake. He's expected to swallow this down, too? Surely even Raito would forgive him for being a little – all right, let's admit it – jealous. Good. He can be angry for a moment at least. "Nothing's changed except that you've been – you've been in love with him all this time. I get that you wanted to make sure I – I made the right choice but you can't expect me to be happy about – about being stupid enough to think it –"

The anger isn't enough. He's just making a fool of himself. And – and what if Matsuda gets up, right now, and says he doesn't need to listen to this – what if he just leaves –

He slumps onto his back and wonders if he can just pretend to fall asleep.

Matsuda, next to him, sits up a little, arms wrapped round his sheet-covered knees.

"No, I..." he begins, and then, "When I said I thought I'd have the best chance of convincing you, I didn't mean... I didn't know we were going to start... you know."

This is a lie, it must be, but Matsuda doesn't sound like he's lying. He sounds tired and nervous and like he has no idea what he's trying to say.

"I... I mean, I was thinking anyway how you – you didn't know, before, that me and Raito were... And, like, when I said it was my idea to talk to you, you must have thought I was saying I'd only... I'd only said I... cared about you and stuff to keep you on – on our side."

He swallows.

"That's why you weren't very happy, isn't it?"

Ide wants to shake him, yell at him that the reason he wasn't happy was because Matsuda has killed hundreds of people and been personally responsible for getting Ide and the other two locked up by Kira fanatics. No. No, he's not thinking like that any more. It. It doesn't matter. He can hardly believe he's thinking this but he has to, he made peace with it, and he is going to let Matsuda decide what the facts are…

"Is that why you said it?" he asks, and his throat is dry and he doesn't even know what answer he's looking for.

"No!" Matsuda's scrambling round to face him, clutching his shoulder: "No, I didn't, I promise. Look, back then, I said I'd talk to you. I'd never thought of you like... like that. I didn't... when we first... you were scared and..."

Ide doesn't want to think about being scared. He thinks maybe that shows on his face too because Matsuda says, "It's okay," and then carries on, "I wanted... the stuff I did for you to try and make you feel better, I wanted to do that stuff. I mean, sure, it was what I was meant to be doing but I... I wanted to make things better. I wanted to make you happy."

This is bound to be another lie and if they could see each other properly Ide wouldn't be falling for it (even if he played along to stay alive) but in the dark, close enough to hear Matsuda's breathing, he can pretend that none of this really counts. And that no one's listening.

"Well... why?" he says. "Why me? You... you saw Aizawa and Mogi too, you knew they were just as... that they had it just as bad." Trying to keep his voice steady, like the bad isn't that bad.

Matsuda says, more quietly, "I couldn't have helped, with them. Aizawa would always like it better if I wasn't around, and Mogi... I don't think it would have done anything. I think he... like, I mean, I don't think he needs someone else around. Needed."

Ide would say And I did? but there's no point because of course he did. His stomach tightens. He was desperate and Matsuda could see it and would Ide have turned him away even if he had known what was really going on? When he was alone and barely holding it together and that was a stupid line of thought to go down because now he's thinking they could put you back there, any time, you give Raito any reason to think you need closer observation, you nearly got yourself killed tonight because you couldn't keep your temper, how many more times are you going to screw up like that –

Matsuda is still nervously watching him, hugging his knees. Matsuda is here and willing to speak to him and that's enough. Deep breath.

"And – and now," he says, loud enough to put Matsuda off denying it because he is not going to hope for denial, "Now you're – spending time with me and you – you're intimate with me because Raito wants you to be. Because if you weren't, I might be more... difficult."

Matsuda says, more quietly, "Yes," and then, "But it's not… I… I like it. It's nice. If Raito told me to stop, then, then – then of course I would, but if he just said it didn't matter, like I could do what I want, then I'd... I'd do... this. Be here."

Ide can tell he is feeling almost happy about this. Which is also stupid.

"You love Raito," he says, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"I... yeah."

"So why – why do you want to waste time with me that you could – that you could be spending with him?"

"That's… not how it works." Matsuda sounds genuinely puzzled. "I mean, I – yeah, I want to... I like being with... he's... but he couldn't have me around him all the time, I'd annoy him too much. It's like... okay, even you must have things you really loved – you really love doing, but you couldn't do them all the time because life's not like that. Like you can't go on holiday all the time even if you really love it. You have to... you can only do it sometimes."

He's quiet for a moment. Ide really wants to say, and you're all right with this? This makes you happy? but he doubts he'd get a truthful answer. Perhaps it is what Matsuda wants, perhaps having someone, anyone, say they love him is enough. But Raito isn't that special, a voice at the back of his mind says nastily, Raito isn't worth this...

But Matsuda is already carrying on, "Anyway, it isn't wasting time. Being with you. It's just normal. I mean, we've basically spent the last five years in the same room, I'd... I'd miss you if you weren't around going on about why I watch so much TV."

Ide can imagine Aizawa or Mello rolling their eyes and asking him how he can be so stupid as to even listen to any of this. Matsuda has admitted that he's keeping this... relationship going because Raito wants him to. He's dressed the rest of it up with a bunch of words that mean nothing.

But what exactly can Ide do about it?

"We need to sleep," he says.

Matsuda nods. After a few moments, he slides a bit closer to Ide, and they are lying against each other as if, yes, as if nothing's changed. In the dark with just the smell of Matsuda's skin and the sound of his heartbeat, Ide can almost believe it.

He lies awake for what feels like hours, trying to wrap his mind round being calm about all of this. Being accepting. It's exhausting but he doesn't fall asleep for ages and when he does he dreams of being trapped in smoke and calling for help, calling for Matsuda and then shouting at him How could you, how could you do it. And so Matsuda isn't there. No one's there, and Ide can't breathe –

He wrenches himself awake and there's grey light on the other side of the blinds. Good. Now he can give up pretending he's going to have a relaxing eight hours' sleep.

Matsuda isn't there.

Probably gone to talk to Raito. Probably telling Raito what was said last night, how well he really thinks Ide took the news. For a few seconds Ide can't breathe but he fights down the panic and slowly the world is normal again: chilly morning air, the sound of traffic outside, a radio somewhere in the distance. It sounds like any number of mornings. It sounds like mornings from a normal life where you get up and go to work and it doesn't occur to you to worry about whether you'll survive to see the evening.

Footsteps outside the door.

He's scrambling to sit up even as Raito walks in, Matsuda trailing behind him. Matsuda looks more exhausted than usual but otherwise he doesn't look that different. If you look at him and try to make yourself think, he's killed hundreds of people, the idea is laughable...

Raito is talking. Ide can't make the words line up into sense. Biting his lip. Nothing is – nothing is fixed down. There's what Raito is saying and what he's not saying and what Ide is scared he might say and it's getting harder and harder to tell the difference –

"Ide," Raito snaps, and is staring coldly at him: "Perhaps you'd be good enough to listen when I'm speaking to you?"

Ide waits for his heart rate to settle. He's okay. It's okay. It isn't as if he doesn't know how he's supposed to behave. "Right. Yes. I'm sorry."

"I said that you're not going to work today. No doubt you'll be shaken after yesterday's events, and it's not a good idea for you to be talking to other people right now. You can stay in here. Matsuda will report back to me in half an hour but he's not going anywhere else today, either." This last said with an edge to it. Matsuda's hanging his head. When Raito leaves the two of them alone he doesn't even look at Matsuda, who takes a deep, trembling breath and slumps down on the edge of the bed.

Ide has to wait a while before he can get up the nerve to speak and by the time he has it, Matsuda has got it together, has turned to look at him and managed a sort of smile and a hey, how are you feeling. That's not a question that has an appropriate answer so Ide just moves onto the important stuff: "He's – he's still angry with you."

Matsuda shrugs, fighting to keep the smile in place. "Yeah, well... I did something really stupid. He's not just going to get over that, is he? I'd – I'd hate me if I were him."

Ide goes cold all over at that and he wants to pretend he never heard it but he asks anyway, maybe in the hope things aren't as bad as they look: "Hate is... that's quite a strong word, you think he..." What if he...

"No! No, no..." Matsuda scrambles to sit opposite him, meets his gaze like that will remove any doubt. "I didn't mean... he's... he just, I really screwed up. So he's angry. And, I mean, it was Mello. He really does hate Mello. But it's fine. Everything's fine. You mustn't worry."

Which sounds exactly what you say when you're really worried and don't want the other person to know. In the bathroom, shaving and trying not to look his reflection in the eyes, Ide tries not to think too hard about a few key facts. Matsuda has the Eyes, so he's useful, but that's the only thing he has to offer. Anyone can take the Eyes. And literally the only reason Ide and Aizawa are still alive is because Matsuda wants them to be. If Matsuda goes, so do they.

There are bruises smeared across his face from yesterday. He hadn't noticed the ache from them, which means he probably doesn't look half as bad as he did when, before, when he was still trying to hold out. When he thought he was in any position to demand anything of Matsuda.

When he's dressed and back in the bedroom he makes himself walk over to Matsuda, sit next to him, force a smile. Lets Matsuda lean against him, put an arm round him. It almost feels normal again.