Reprise
Looking back on my life,considering all the trials.
Made mistakes but its all good.
Faced the pain that I caused.
Apolagetic result.
What's done is done and its all good
Burn Season "Monday"
Things were still a bit awkward between Manny and Emma after their fight, but per usual they were back to being best friends, because when it came down to it, they fought like a happily married couple. They were spending the Tuesday afternoon watching an movie on the television, just chatting away and occasionally finishing up homework.
Manny munched on a chip as her and Emma watched a movie. Manny frowned at the screen, "ugh, will they stop bickering and just make up already," she groaned while trying to pass the bowl of chips to Emma who looked down at the bowl of potato chips sneeringly potato chips were not something she needed to be eating right now. "Em?" Manny asked as she held the bowl, "you want any?" Emma shook her head. "Good all the more for me," Manny said smiling as she sat Indian style on the couch the bowl of chips in her lap as she munched on them joyfully.
Emma's stomach grumbled as she occasionally looked between the movie on the television screen and the bowl of chips in Manny's lap. She stood up slowly, and wavered for a moment as she felt the blood rush quickly to her head. She hadn't eaten much that day, in fact if Emma were to answer honestly she'd probably let the world know she'd eaten half a cup of granola and a carrot. "I'll be right back," Emma said and walked to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water and chugged it down quickly, thinking if her stomach was full of something, anything…that she wouldn't be hungry.
Manny walked into the kitchen, "thirsty much?" she asked as she set the bowl of chips down on the kitchen table and walked to the fridge. "What's Spike making for dinner?" she asked looking at Tupperware containers full of leftovers. "I'm starved I haven't eaten since lunch."
Emma looked over at her friend and rolled her eyes, "I dunno, I'm not that hungry anyways."
Manny closed the fridge, "but you've barely eaten all day."
Emma shrugged, "just not hungry…How's Craig?" she quickly changed the subject.
Manny shrugged, "he keeps spending a lot of his free time with this Callie girl from group." She and Emma began to walk back to the living room and slumped down on the couch.
"You think he's cheating?" Emma asked as she caught a tone in Manny's voice that led her to question.
"What am I supposed to think Em, ever heard the saying: if he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you?"
"Doesn't mean he will…it's just a saying."
Manny shrugged, "I guess."
"Well why don't you ask this Callie girl…" Emma suggested, "where does she go to school."
"U of T."
Emma's eyes widened, "wow, a college girl?"
"now you see what I'm dealing with," Manny said trying to focus on the movie and not on her seemingly disintegrating love life. Manny sighed and dug her hand into the box of cookies she'd swiped from the cabinet and shoved one into her mouth, Emma watching with disgust as Manny munched, crunched, chewed and swallowed. She was counting the calories in her head with each cookie that passed Manny's lips.
"Do you feel like going for a run tomorrow?" Emma asked, hoping that she'd be able to curb Manny's health habits as well. It didn't matter that Manny was on spirit squad and healthy girl, "I'm feeling a little soft around the middle."
Manny looked over at Emma and rolled her eyes, "You're nuts Em, you're like a twig,…but if anyone needs to run it's me," Manny said, "have you seen how much I've eaten since this whole Callie thing exploded?"
Emma shrugged, "haven't really noticed," she lied.
"Yea,…so tomorrow before school?"
Emma nodded. Manny looked back to the screen in time to catch the credits. She jumped to her feet, and set the box of cookies on the coffee table. "You're leaving?" Emma pouted.
"Yea, if you want me to wake up early enough to run with you before school, a girl's gotta get her beauty sleep." Manny smiled and flipped her hair over her shoulder. "I'll be back over tomorrow morning."
Emma curled her knees up to her chest as she began flicking through channels on the television. It was a cliché moment: hundreds of channels and nothing to watch.
-X-
Sean did a final adjustment on the engine and slid the ratchet back into a loop on his tool belt and wiped his hands on a micro fiber cloth and tossed it on a folding table. Their car was ready for show inside at their own show booth, and everything was set when Mr. Ehl spun around on his wheels and looked at the boys sternly, "I want you both on your best behavior, remember this is still a school function," he reminded them.
Jay smirked. It was the first time in a while that Sean had seen a mischievous look on his friends face. Like everyone else in the school, he too was feeling the impact of Amy's death, though in true Jay like fashion he did his best to ignore it. Sean rolled his eyes and Jay and him listened to their mentor and teacher speak to them about proper behavior, "Remember boys, this is a great opportunity to speak to professionals and possibly secure job opportunities after school, or further your education." The last statement caught Sean's attention as Mr. Ehl looked at him hopefully. "I want you two back here in three hours for our inspection."
The pair nodded and began slowly walking around the convention center as Mr. Ehl walked over to answer questions about the car, while the boys had the opportunity to spread themselves thin with the experience of meeting professionals and peers in their field of expertise. "Dude, look at the detail on that model," Jay pointed out. Sean followed the direction of his finger only to find himself confused.
"Are you talking about the girl or the car Jay?" Sean asked.
"You're kidding right?" Jay asked nudging his friend. "It's a package deal," he smirked.
Sean rolled his eyes, "you've got to be kidding me, we're here surrounded by people who could give us the opportunity of a lifetime and your checking out the legs of some blonde?"
Jay glared, "hey, if you don't wanna check out girls that's your thing."
"I'm serious Jay, we could do something with our lives and your just interested in getting laid."
"At least I'm getting some," Jay smirked.
Sean smirked, "not as much as me," Sean said as he walked by a table and started looking at pamphlets for automotive schools. Jay smiled and nudged Sean with his shoulder.
"Do tell," Jay insisted.
"Let's just say El's a little stressed out, and has been since Amy's accident."
"Dude, didn't you know grief gets girls hot?"
Sean rolled his eyes, "is that all you think about."
Jay snorted, "man, I'm a teenage guy and I'm in my prime, excuse me for taking full advantage of my hormones."
Sean laughed, "regardless, I can't help but think about how sick this all really is, that me and Ellie are getting all hot and heavy after Amy is killed, by Ellie's mom of all people."
Jay shrugged and started checking out a civic similar to his with a better paint job, "I don't know what you want me to tell you, man."
Sean shrugged. It just didn't seem right, but it was better than Ellie cutting, and it was better than Sean drowning his sorrows at the bottom of a bottle. Sean picked up another pamphlet. "Man check this out, VC Tech," Sean grabbed a pamphlet for Jay.
Jay read over the pamphlet, "it's in the states man."
Sean shrugged, and reached for another one, "there's ATC in Ontario?" he mentioned. The thought of continuing his education gave him a itch he just wanted to scratch. His brother had never graduated, and neither had his parents, and the thought of graduating not only high school but to go onto to college and get a degree just started turning gears in his head.
"It's cool man," Jay mentioned handing back the ATC pamphlet, "you really gunna do it?"
Sean shrugged, "it's a thought, I mean why not?"
Jay shrugged, "I dunno." Jay looked around and caught sight of a booth explaining simple solutions for engine difficulties and walked over, beckoning for Sean to follow, "never been much of a scholar."
"I'm surprised you even know what one is."
"I'm not stupid Sean, I just don't like school." Jay said angry by the statement and the possibility that he was seen as an ignorant teen. Jay was a hybrid of street smarts and mechanical intelligence. He wasn't stupid, he just never felt the need to prove his intelligence to people, or for a piece of paper to state where he belonged in the school system.
"Well you coulda fooled me," Sean mumbled. Sean and Jay leaned over to get a look under the hood of a car on display. Sean furrowed his eyebrows.
"Question young man?" a gentleman in a suit asked.
"Actually yea, did you drive this car here or did you just tow it and roll it in here?" Sean asked as he leaned farther over the velvet roping to get a better look.
"We towed it why?" the man asked. Jay noticed the same thing Sean had and crossed his arms and watched as Sean pulled a ratchet, a set of pliers, and a screwdriver from his tool belt and beckoned for Jay to help him out.
"Because you have a bit of a problem, and I hope you didn't plan on starting this vehicle, because you'd be in for an embarrassing situation," Sean mentioned as he motioned for the gentleman to let him under the velvet rope.
Sean walked up to the hood of the car and began tinkering with the engine and the starter and called Jay over to do a final check on the intake valve that looked far from being secure.
Sean and Jay both took a few steps back. "All good," Sean said simply and wiped his greased up hands on his once clean jeans.
"What was wrong with it?" the gentlemen asked.
Sean laughed, "a couple of things your mechanics should have checked before they let you tow it here." He answered.
"What mechanics institute did you two graduate from?" the gentlemen asked.
Sean and Jay looked at each other and laughed, "we're still in high school," Jay answered, "we built a car from scratch for a competition."
"Oh you're part of the expo challenge?" the gentlemen asked.
"Yea, we're from DCS."
The man nodded, and pulled out a shiny card holder and handed a business card to Sean and Jay, "well when you're finished with school, and need a job…" he mentioned simply.
Jay and Sean looked at each other stunned, as Mr. Ehl rolled up to them, "boys, judges are over at the booth, they want to speak to you."
Sean and Jay shrugged at each other and walked over to their booth where their car sat parked behind velvet roping. Sean slipped over the rope while Jay took a magnificent leap over it and stood to see three judges giving the car a once over.
-X-
Tracker paced the kitchen, touching the tip of a knife to his nose and looking around. He was sure he was coming down with a fever and he didn't even know how he had the energy to pace the room. He'd missed a payment on a bill, and he was just waiting for the water to get shut off. He started to panic, he'd been trying to get a hold of the billing department of the water company since that morning, calling from work every moment he got, and spent most of the day on hold going through menu after menu speaking to a recording, only to find out that he wouldn't be able to speak to a real person until after the weekend, and during business hours. He just hoped they wouldn't cut off the water until he was able to get a chance to explain.
He could feel the stress bottling up inside and he looked at his knife and at his scars and groaned in frustration, mostly because out of everything he knew that could make him feel better laid in the edge of the blade. It scared him. It scared him to the point where the handle of the knife was shaking drastically in his hand. He tried drastically to try and slow his breathing, to try and calm his nerves. He dropped the knife to the floor and walked over to the sink and splashed his face with cool water, thankful that the water was still running.
Ellie walked through the door, and looked oddly at Tracker as she watched him frantically wet his face with cool water, relishing in the fact that the water was running. "You okay?' she asked, dropping her bag on the floor.
"I should ask you that" he mentioned drying his face on his shirt. Ellie flopped down on the couch, "how're you?"
"I'm fine, better than you it seems, you look sick, are you alright?" she asked as she noticed his pale complexion.
Tracker stumbled to the couch, and collapsed down next to Ellie. The stress was tearing him apart from the inside. His immune system was breaking down, and he was on the start of coming down with something. Ellie pressed her hand to his forehead.
"Doesn't feel like you have a fever or anything," she said as she pulled her hand back and looked at him worriedly.
He stood up and wavered from side to side before grabbing his head and falling back on the couch. He cursed under his breath as Ellie rushed closer to his side as he nearly fainted. "I have to go to work " he muttered weakly and tried to stand up again.
"Do you think that's a good idea?" she asked as she watched him wobble. This situation was frightening to say the least, the usually strong, older brother figure she loved and cared about was wavering back and forth, as if he were going to topple over. His pale complexion and bags under his eyes screamed for rest.
"Yea, I'm fine," he said leaning walking towards the door, leaning on furniture for stability. As he reached for the door knob he fell to his knees, weakly. Ellie rushed to his side, "or not," he mumbled as Ellie helped him to his feet and to his bed room where Ellie dropped him on the bed.
"Call off, would you?," Ellie asked as she fluffed a pillow for him, and walked to the kitchen, coming back with the cordless phone and glass of ice water. "And then I want you to go to bed." She handed him the phone and set the glass of water on his bedside table and stood with her hands on her hips.
"Ellie," he said trying to sit up. He had to let someone know about the water situation, but spilling the unstable financial situation he was dealing with to the girl who'd started living with him.
"Tracker" Ellie said staring daggers at him.
"Call Kemmie for me," he said frowning. He couldn't do it. This was his problem.
Ellie softened and dialed the number as Tracker spouted them, and gently listened to the dial tone.
"Kem…it's Ellie, Tracker's got a fever, he wanted me to call you," she said simply.
"Is he alright?" Kemmie asked over the phone.
"He's dizzy, he doesn't want to call of work, and keeps trying to leave," Ellie said truthfully.
"I'll be right over," the young woman said. Ellie heard her jingling keys and rushing to the door, "I'll see you when I get over there." Kemmie had hung up the phone.
-X-
Ellie sat in the guidance office gentle snapping a rubber band against her bare skin. Sonya Sauvé walked into the office concerned yet proud of Ellie for the way she was handling the stress and ridicule from the students for her mother's mistakes. "So, Ellie, how is everything?" she asked as she sat down at her desk.
Ellie shrugged, "as well as can be expected when nearly the whole school hates you because of your mom."
Sonya smiled politely at the redhead, "how's group therapy with Crescent?" she asked. Ellie shrugged, and snapped a rubber band against her skin again, causing Sonya to notice the welts against her skin. "Is everything alright?"
Ellie sighed, "Dad's back in the middle east, and my home is empty, chances are my mother's going to prison." Sonya noticed that Ellie seemed more annoyed than upset about the situation.
"What's going to happen with your house?" she asked.
Ellie shrugged, "I suppose I'll have to call the base and see if we can move everything into a storage unit or something," Ellie snapped the rubber band again, this time harder than usual as she thought about the stress she'd endure trying to take care of her family's belongings.
Sonya jumped a little as the sound of rubber snapped against Ellie's skin. "Aren't you staying at home?" she asked, "couldn't they provide you with assisted living expenses like they were doing for your mother?"
Ellie looked up from staring at her welts, "I haven't been living at home for almost a month, I've been staying with Sean."
"I see," Sonya said jotting down at note on her tablet.
"Maybe they could come stay with me over there?" Ellie asked shrugging.
"That would be up to Sean and his brother, wouldn't it?"
Ellie sighed, "it's probably too much trouble to even ask." Ellie thought for a moment about the three of them living together in her home. Not that the small apartment was a bad place, and not that it wasn't cozy, Ellie just missed her room, the smell of her father's cologne in the closets, and seeing his smiling face from behind a picture frame as she walked into the house.
"How's your friend Alex?" Sonya asked, toying with her pen in her hand.
"I don't know, she's hard to read these days, I'm actually worried about her."
"She was close with Amy wasn't she?"
Ellie nodded, "they used to be best friends up until about a month ago…" Ellie racked her mind to think of reasons why, but came up empty. "I actually found it a relief that Amy wasn't around as much because of her and Alex's fall out."
"Do you feel even more relieved now that she's permanently out of the picture?"
Ellie shook her head, "as much as I disliked Amy, and didn't want her around me or Sean, she was a part of our lives that just wouldn't seem right if it suddenly wasn't there." Ellie snapped the rubber band against her skin. And Sonya's eyes fell to see the welts on the students bare forearm.
"Ellie are you okay?" her eyes still focused on Ellie's red, swollen skin.
Ellie looked up, "not really," she answered honestly.
Sonya pressed her lips tightly together, before continuing, "how's group."
"better than can be expected." Ellie looked up, she opened her mouth to speak, but the words failed to come out.
"What is it Ellie?"
"I miss Lake View" she said softly, "I wasn't alone at there, I had people who were just as messed up as me."
"and here you feel alone?" Sonya asked.
"Sometimes…" Ellie sighed, "I…I don't know."
"perhaps you know, you just don't know how to say it," Sonya offered.
Ellie shrugged, "maybe…"
"is losing Amy the same as losing Verity?" Sonya asked, knowing very well she was crossing the line. She watched as Ellie's flared with anger.
"How can you compare Verity and Amy?" Ellie said standing up. She was infuriated with the idea that her former roommate and temporary best friend could be compared at all to the cold and calculating Amy.
"what do you mean?" the woman asked, intrigued by Ellie's anger. "To me, Amy and Verity seem very similar. You used to tell me that Verity's mother was emotionally abusive. Don't you think that Amy had it just as bad with her situation?"
Ellie slowly slunk back into her seat, "I guess…"
"So what makes this different?"
"Amy wasn't a good person."
"Maybe no one ever gave Amy the chance to be a good person?" Sonya suggested.
Ellie shrugged, "Verity was a my friend, I found her…"
"And you watched Amy die in the street."
"You're really crossing the line Ms. Sauve." Ellie said quite upset about the conversation that was beginning. Ellie snapped the rubber band against her skin.
"I'm sorry Ellie, but sometimes lines need to be crossed to move on."
Ellie frowned, "the only difference is I cared that Verity was gone, I don't care about Amy."
"do you not care because she was a constant thorn in your side?" she asked.
"I didn't care because…" Ellie stopped, she really didn't know why she wasn't upset about Amy's death. It could have had something to do with this unwritten rivalry between them, but even Ellie had sympathy for Amy as many did, but the comparison to her friend's death was uncannily familiar yet laced with undistinguishable marks.
-X-
Manny stalked into the on campus darkroom on a mission. She burst into the photography lab on the university campus and looked around, "I'm looking for Callie," she said looking around the room, slightly embarrassed by the fact that she now had a class of college students looking at her as if she were crazy.
"She's in the darkroom," a random girl mentioned.
Manny nodded politely, "thanks," and walked in the direction in which the girl pointed and found herself walking into a revolving type door and tripping into the dark room where she found a girl deeply engrossed in developing a specific cell on a negative. Manny stopped to look Callie up and down, from her fishnets to her messy black hair and ruby red lips, 'so this is my competition?' Manny thought to herself.
"Are you going to stare at me all day or say something?" Callie said turning around and walking to the developing trays.
"Callie, right?" Manny asked.
"In the flesh," Callie answered as she agitated the photo paper in chemicals. Callie looked up, "Do I know you? You look familiar?"
"I think more familiar would be my boyfriend," Manny said sternly, placing her hands on her hips.
"Oh, so you're Manny," Callie said, suddenly disinterested, as she moved the photograph to another tray.
"That's it?" Manny asked, "You lure my boyfriend into darkrooms and do gods know what with him and all you can say is so you're Manny?" Manny was angry and disgusted, and became more so upset when Callie started laughing.
"You do realize this is stupid right?" Callie asked.
"How is this stupid?" Manny said crossing her arms.
Callie dropped the photograph image into the last tray and stopped to look at Manny, "Look hon, I'm in my twenties, what would I want with a little high school boy?" Callie asked. "Secondly, have you taken two measly seconds to look around the darkroom. Manny looked at the girl confused, but suddenly became away as Callie started taking pictures from the line of drying photographs and handed them to the girl.
"Are these of me?" Manny asked, shuffling through the pictures, "Craig took these?" she asked as she saw herself laughing and smiling, and pouting sweetly into the camera.
"No, the other boyfriend you have did." Callie walked back to the get some more photo paper and walked to the enlarger to work on another photograph.
"I thought," Manny began but was cut off.
"I know what you thought," Callie said.
"I'm sorry," Manny said as Callie turned around and Manny handed the pictures back to her.
"Look, Craig talks about you a lot," Callie said hanging the pictures back up. "In fact from what I understand you and I are a lot alike, it's probably why he and I get along so well."
Manny smiled nervously. "So you're not into him?"
"No, I've got my own angsty artist, I prefer to keep him low key," Callie answered as she walked to the final tray and pulled the picture she'd been working on up, to show her the image of a chubby dark haired guy in glasses covered in paint, nothing but paint. Manny blushed, and Callie laughed to herself. "And now you know why."
Manny took a moment to smile as her face returned to it's normal complexion. "So, I have nothing to worry about right?"
Callie stopped for a moment to look at the younger girl, Manny was dealing with some serious self esteem issues. "Maybe you need to have a talk with him," Callie mentioned.
"Do you know something?" Manny asked.
"I know only what I'm told in confidence, and it's not my place to be talking about other people's inner dwellings without their permission, again, maybe you need to have a talk with him," Callie emphasized.
Manny nodded understandingly. She didn't want to be the jealous girlfriend, but how could she not play that role with the history she had with Craig. She couldn't help but wonder if perhaps the old saying, 'if he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you' rings true.
Callie watched as the girl stood deep in thought, "you look hungry, wanna grab something to eat?" she offered as she hung her last photograph to dry.
Manny shrugged her shoulders, "sure," she answered.
Callie and Manny walked off campus to the bus stop, where Callie lit up a cigarette and offered a second to Manny, who politely declined. "Good," Callie said, "don't start."
Manny smiled, "so you don't drive?" she asked.
"Why drive when I can pay a few cents to have someone do it for me?" Callie mentioned as the bus pulled up. She watched as Manny shrugged and followed her onto the bus. Manny sat with Callie, the usual spot on the back of the bus.
"So why does Craig think you and I are a lot alike?" Manny asked, rehashing a part of the conversation from before.
Callie shrugged, she didn't want to reveal that she knew about the abortion, it wasn't her place to bring it up. "Pretty much just that we're pretty true to ourselves, I don't know much about you other than what Craig as told me. But I do know me, and I've made plenty of mistakes and had to clean up a lot of messes."
Manny hung her head slightly, "I've done a lot of silly things."
Callie smiled, "so has the rest of the world, it's part of life."
"Have you ever done something you knew was wrong but it was the right thing to do?" Manny asked, referring, of course to her choice to abort her unborn baby. She knew that getting rid of the problem wouldn't truly make it go away, but she didn't feel like she was able to have a baby, to raise a child, to even carry it to term without falling apart.
Callie gently touched her charm, "believe me, I know."
Manny looked up knowingly, completely understanding that Callie and her were on the same page. "Sometimes I feel like I was alone with that kind of mistake."
"Believe me," Callie said, "you're not."
Manny smiled awkwardly as she felt a sort of kinship with Callie that she never felt with Emma. With Emma it was always as if she were kept on a leash, and that everything Manny did was wrong, regardless of mistakes that Emma seemed to make. With Callie, she didn't feel judged for her mistakes. "This feels good," Manny said.
"what does?" Callie asked intrigued.
"this…" Manny tried to rack her brains for ways to think of how to describe the situation. She sighed, "with my best friend Emma, I always feel like I'm doing something wrong."
"let me guess, she tried to convince you not to go through with it?"
"Yea, until she realized there was nothing she could do about it, it definitely wasn't the first time she's tried to but her views into other people's heads."
"She's one of those, eh?" Callie said bemusedly.
Manny nodded, "it actually feels good to talk to someone else every once in a while."
"what…is she like your only friend?" the bus began to come to a stop, and Callie rose to feet, and Manny followed.
"Sometimes it feels like she won't let me have another friend other than her," she said as they stepped off the bus.
"run little on, run far far away," Callie said with a cackle.
Manny rolled her eyes, "it's not that bad."
"I'm sure."
-X-
"So how'd it go?" Ellie asked as she sat next to Alex at the Dot as the two boys in their lives walked in and slipped into the booth they sat at. Jay and Sean looked at each other, smirked and turned back to the girls.
"We blew the judges away," Jay said and then laughed as he realized how horribly inappropriate his comment sounded.
Alex smiled, "best news I've heard in a while."
"I've got better," Sean spoke up, "Jay and I might have a part time job."
Ellie raised an eyebrow, "doing what?"
"Well, see Vampira," Jay began, "it all started when…"
Sean elbowed Jay in the stomach, "we just impressed the right people, we talked after the judging and they have a shop close to the school, so we could work after school five days a week."
Ellie smiled, "I'm proud of you." Ellie reached across the table and pecked Sean lightly on the lips. He blushed slightly as he could feel Jay smirking at him for the public displays of affection.
" What about me Lexxi? You proud of me?"
"Not by a long shot," she said rolling her eyes. Despite Jay's attempts the space between them was still measured in miles. She dove right back into the pile of fries she had on the plate in front of her, dipping her fries in mayonnaise and ketchup, and eating them with ease.
"I'll never figure out how people can eat fries with mayonnaise," Ellie said looking over at Alex with disgust.
"What can I say…it's an acquired taste," she retorted between bites.
"Slow down Lexxi, you're eating like a pregnant woman," Jay spat. And Alex just shot daggers in his direction and threw a fry at him. He grabbed the fry and ate it, "thanks Lex…"
Alex rolled her eyes. "You're an ass."
"Well we're gunna head home," Sean suggested as he felt Ellie's leg brush against his underneath the table, and gently run up and down his leg.
Alex frowned, she was left with Jay and her plate of fries as she watched Sean snatch Ellie's hand and drag her out of the diner with a giggle.
"So, speaking of eating like a pregnant woman…how's the baby?"
"Why do you keep asking?" she groaned, "you made it perfectly clear you don't even think it's yours."
"Oh come on Lexxi," he begged. "I'll buy you a shake," he bribed, hoping it'd buy him a few more minutes with her as he noticed her plate of fries dwindling.
"fine…" she mumbled, as she felt her stomach grumble. Jay reached out of the booth and snatched a waiter by the collar and ordered Alex a chocolate shake.
"Amy's funeral is tomorrow," Alex mentioned, "are you
coming?"
"yea…I'll just have to dust off my clean pants,"
he muttered. Alex knew that Jay didn't feel comfortable and
situations like the one he would partake in the next day. It made him
more uncomfortable knowing that the girl lying in the casket was
someone he was both friendly with, and intimate with. Alex watched
him, the look in his eyes made her realize that he was only going to
support her and it made her shift uncomfortably in her seat.
-X-
Ellie looked around the small chapel as she, Sean, Jay, and Alex walked through the heavy wooden doors. Mirna had been there several hours already, Josh on her hip, carefully perfecting every detail. Amy didn't have a welcoming start in the world, but Mirna would not accept that she'd have a piss poor farewell. Ellie squeezed Sean's hand tightly as they took their seats in the front pew. Ellie looked around, everyone dressed in black. It was the one time she didn't feel like she stood out in her black plaid mini skirt and black tights. Sean was sitting next to her gently massaging her hand with his thumb as he too blended in with everyone else and the black clad cloud of mourners, that were still piling into the chapel.
Alex sat dressed in black, next to Jay. Dresses and skirts weren't her thing and she settled for black jeans and a simple nice black dress shirt. Jay looked over at Alex as she watched people file in. He noticed how much heavier she seemed to look as the days dragged on, and how her stomach seemed to swell little by little. He seemed to be the only one to notice. She looked around the small chapel, disgusted by how many people had actually shown their faces. Half these people didn't even like Amy, let alone know her. The thought of these people paying their respects made her blood boil. She assumed it also made her nauseous, but then again, she could have blamed that on her still on going random bouts of morning sickness. She looked to see Mirna bouncing Josh on her knee and frowned as she saw Amy's mother, Shauna stumble in with her boy toy of the moment. Shauna pulled off her sunglasses to expose blood shot eyes. Mirna frowned at the site of her daughter, looking as though she'd just walked in off the street. It was clear that she was high as a kite as she wiped her nose.
Shauna reached out for her son but was pushed away at arms length as Mirna handed the child to Sean. Alex could see the older woman mouth the words, "get out." But Shauna pouted and remained in the pew. Alex's hands balled into fists as she jumped to Mirna's aid.
"Leave," Alex said simple.
"I'm here for Amy," Shauna groaned, rolling her eyes at the sudden disdain everyone seemed to have for her, "if you haven't noticed my only daughter is dead."
Alex rolled her eyes, and crossed her arms, "if you haven't noticed your neglect is part of the reason Amy isn't here."
Shauna rose to her feet, "don't you dare talk to me like that Alexia, I took care of you when your mother was too drunk to function."
"And I took care of Amy and I when you were too high to tell the difference between Hawaiian Punch and draino." Alex felt a harsh slap across her face. Shauna stumbled back after slapping Alex. "Fuck you, Shauna." Alex responded, as Jay jumped to her side, "fuck all of you!" She looked around the room, at all the mourners, "What right in hell do any of you have to be here?"
Everyone was stark silent as Alex ripped apart everyone in the chapel, with her words, and strained voice. She stalked up to the podium and looked out across the crowd. "None of you even knew her!" she shouted. She looked over at Shauna, "you abandoned her Shauna, you were her mother. Ellie she hit on your boyfriend, and Sean? You can't even pretend to like how she used you. Jay? She was your fuck buddy, and she was supposed to be my best friend. But what right do you have to be here, pretending to care about her, pretending to care that she's gone." Alex took a deep breath and looked at Mirna who bounced a very quiet Josh in her arms. "the only two people in this chapel that even deserve our sympathy are her grandmother and brother, who loved her unconditionally despite what she did."
"I loved my baby," Shauna cried out.
Alex threw dagger sharp glares in her direction, and laughed harshly, "in what sense Shauna? which was more important to you? Getting high, getting laid, or watching your daughter grow up?" Shauna remained silent. "That's what I thought," Alex spat. "Do you guys know that Amy liked motocross for more than the guys? Or because she was handy with more than just a wrench?" She looked out across the pews to catch a glimpse of several of Amy's motocross buddies, mostly guys, and they smirked. "It's why she took auto shop instead of sewing, because she knew how to change the top end of a bike in less than two minutes." She watched as the group of motocross guys in the back of the chapel smirked as the remembered Amy's spunk in the crew pits. "But I'm sure you all knew that, because you all knew Amy, isn't that right?"
"Let me make this perfectly clear, you don't know Amy…you don't know Amy until you're holding her hair back while she's throwing up in a toilet. You don't know Amy until she's sitting next to you in a holding cell because of a fight you both got into. You don't know Amy, so don't pretend like you do."
"Most of you don't know anything about her, and never will, and don't do the world favors by pretending to either, you'll only look stupid." Jay smirked as he watched Alex. "She was my friend, she was my family, and she was Josh's big sister." Alex watched as Josh smiled as he heard his name. "Amy will always be my favorite bitch."
Nearly everyone in the company of the memorial services was stunned. Everyone except the front pew: Mirna, Josh, Jay, Sean and Ellie all smiled. They smiled because Alex made sure that Amy would be remembered for what she was: "everyone's favorite bitch." Mirna was smiling through her tears as she walked up meet Alex as she walked down from the altar. Mirna gently grabbed Alex's hands and felt as the girl shook violently from nerves. She pulled them to her lips and kissed them comfortingly. "Truthful, and beautiful, just like you Alexia to not hold anything back."
Alex looked over at Shauna and flipped her the bird while she stalked out of the chapel. "Damn hormones," she said as her eyes began to water and tears came in waves, rolling down her cheeks. She closed her eyes, hoping it would stop them. This was not the time for her guard to be down, and for her hormones to be out of control. She slumped down on the concrete steps outside the church.
"Here," a voice said.
Alex opened her eyes to see a soft purple silk scarf. She blinked a few times as she took hold of the smooth fabric and used it to sooth her tears. "Thanks," she said looking down at the ground.
"you sure you're okay?" Paige asked, brushing some of her blond hair out of her eyes, "because it sure seems like a bold face lie if I ever heard one."
Alex frowned, "can you just for once learn to mind your own business Paige, just once." Alex sobbed and gave back the scarf, as Paige nodded, "thanks."
Paige sat down on the steps beside her, "how's everything?" she asked, as she gently tucked the scarf away into her black purse. Alex looked over, utterly annoyed by the blonde's presence.
"As well as can be expected," Alex rolled her eyes as she responded.
"How's the baby?" Paige asked. Alex looked over at the girl, ready to strangle her. "Oh please Alex, it's not like anyone's around to hear me." Paige waved her arms around to show the raven haired girl that there was no one around to listen in.
"the baby's fine," she answered, almost unwillingly.
"boy or a girl."
"I don't think I want to know right now," Alex answered and looked down at the concrete and began to watch ants scamper across the ground.
"why not?" Paige answered disappointed, "I'd be picking out clothes and baby names by now."
Alex looked over at Paige and rolled her eyes, "you're incredibly ridiculous, you know that?"
"Victoria for a girl, and Harley for a boy," Paige answered looking up at the sky.
Alex looked over at the blonde, "Harley?"
Paige looked over at Alex, "yes, Harley."
Alex struggled hard not to laugh.
"What's so funny, what's wrong with the name Harley?" Paige asked. Alex shrugged but continued to smile at the thought of a little blonde boy with the name Harley.
"I've always wanted to have a little boy, you know." Paige said watching cars pass. "Always wanted to go to all his sport games, watch him play football, I'd be a total soccer mom, ya know/" Alex laughed again, this time thinking of Paige in a mini-van. "So you've never thought about names for your future kids?" Paige asked.
"not really."
"not once?"
"Zac" Alex answered. "I always knew if I had a boy I'd name him Zac."
"Why Zac?" Paige asked.
"It was my father's name." Alex answered simply. "It was the only think I liked about him."
"When did he lea—"
"Everything thinks my father is some dead beat dad…my Mom threw him out." Alex answered, Paige listened as Alex continued to speak about her father. "I haven't seen him since she pushed him out the door. She used to drink a lot back then, and he tried to get her to stop." Alex sighed as she closed her eyes and remembered that night. "He didn't want to leave me, but it was either she get sober or he leaves."
"And he left?"
"he left…" Alex answered and shrugged her shoulders. "I think I was like six or seven then, and I used to dream about him coming back and whisking me off to live with him."
"You don't like your Mom?" Paige asked.
"I love my mom," Alex looked over at Paige, "I just didn't want to live with her…it's really scary when you're that young and have to clean up your mother's messes." Paige smiled comfortingly as Alex wiped her eyes again and took a deep breath. "So where's the lapdog?' she asked.
Paige wasn't sure whether to be offended or to laugh, she shrugged, "I don't know, probably still inside where I left him."
"Why'd you come?" Alex asked, "it's not like you and Amy even exchange words."
"I came for you…" Paige said simply, "I'm your friend right?"
Alex groaned, Paige was on that kick again. "why?"
"why what?'
"why are you doing this friend thing…" Alex responded, "you have plenty of friends, why are you dragging me into your fluffy pink world?"
"because you're like a guilty pleasure, Alex, your like a dash of cayenne pepper to my warm hot chocolate." Alex furrowed her eyebrows questionably. Paige looked surprised, "you've never tried cayenne pepper with hot chocolate?" she asked.
"doesn't seem like something that would mesh well with something sweet."
"don't knock it til you've tried it."
"Paige,…are you out here?" Spinner called as he walked through the chapel doors to see his girlfriend sitting on the steps with Alex. Spinner squatted down and planted a soft kiss on Paige's cheek.
"Hey honeybee," Paige answered as she raised a hand to gently graze his cheek.
"you ready to go?" he asked.
"I think…"she said and then looked at Alex.
"Hey, sorry about your friend," Spinner said as he watched Paige look in Alex's direction.
Alex rolled her eyes, sympathy was the last thing she wanted or needed, "thanks," she muttered politely.
"you hungry?" Paige asked, "because Spinner and I are heading to the Dot to grab something to eat." Spinner opened his mouth to protest but barely half a word slipped out of his mouth as Paige elbowed him in the stomach.
Alex shrugged.
"My treat," Paige offered in a sing-song voice.
Alex rose slightly, her stomach grumbling slightly as she accepted Paige's invitation.
-X-
Ellie sat patiently in the records room at the station, labeling video footage before jotting down notes for Caitlin on a possible segment. She sighed, Amy's funeral was in a few days and she just couldn't focus on any task. She dropped her head into her hand and rubbed her temples, sometimes she wondered why she felt like it was a good idea to throw herself into work. She heard a knock at the door to the records room and looked up, "I'm almost---DADDY!?" Ellie jumped to her feet and rushed the door frame where her father waited handsomely in uniform as if he'd just gotten off the plane and was dropped off at the station. She wrapped her arms around him tightly and nearly burst into tears as she breathed in his cologne.
"Elliebear," he whispered into her red hair and held her close. Ellie smiled into his uniform and pulled back and stared up at her father with glossy eyes.
"General Hayworth called me and gave me immediate leave,…what happened exactly?" he asked.
Ellie frowned slightly, "this really isn't the place to talk about this," she muttered and grabbed her things. And walked back over to the door and ushered him out into the hallway and pulled the door shut behind her, locking it with a set of keys she'd received from Caitlin.
"Don't you need to work?" he asked wrapping an arm around her shoulder.
"I'm already pushing it with the overtime," she smiled and dropped off her keys with the receptionist before walking with her father out to government vehicle he'd been given and slid into the front seat.
"So what's going on, Hayworth said I should probably call our lawyer to set up arrangements."
"probably for the house," Ellie mentioned, and thought to herself for a moment, "they didn't tell you?"
Greg started the ignition on the car and pulled out of his parking spot and began to drive them to a local restaurant, "tell me what?."
"We should probably wait until you're not driving." Greg looked over at his daughter and sighed, "is it your mother?"
"you haven't been home yet have you?"
"El—"
"Dad pull over."
"Ellie."
"DAD pull over," she insisted. Greg pulled over the car and put it into park before shutting of the ignition. Ellie took a deep breath, "Dad…Mom's in jail." Ellie waited for an expression to wash across his father's face. His stare remained concerned yet stagnant. "She was driving drunk and hit a girl in my class…"
"I thought she was going to meetings, getting help…how, why?"
"she stopped going a while ago, and well I wasn't home, she came looking for me."
"where were you?"
"at the school dance, with Sean…but I actually hadn't been at home for weeks…I couldn't take it anymore Dad, she was always on me about everything, ever since I got home from Lake View…she called me a freak, said I was an embarrassment to the family, to you."
Greg sighed, and pulled his daughter into a hug, "I'd never be embarrassed by you, never Elliebear, never."
Ellie sniffled, "I moved in with Sean and Tracker."
"do you have your own room?" he asked worriedly.
"I have a couch…" she lied, knowing her father wouldn't want to know about her sharing a room with Sean, let alone a bed.
Greg frowned, "I'm going to ask for a more permanent leave Ellie, we're going to fix this."
"You can't fix this Dad, it's already so messed up." Ellie snapped the rubber band around her wrist, adding to the painful welts she'd built up over the past few days. "Mom, really messed up."
"At least come home, Elliebear."
Ellie shook her head and closed her eyes to keep from crying, "I can't, I'm happy there."
"but I'll be home."
"for how long Dad?" she cried, "how long until you get shipped off again, you signed up for this, you could have been anything else, a doctor, a teacher, a-a-a-anything, but you chose to join the military knowing full well that it would mean leaving the ones you love."
"Elliebear," he softened and soothed her hair, "I…I don't know what to say, I joined to protect my country, my family, you. I never thought things would end up like this, you've got to believe me."
Ellie sniffled, "I'm sorry, I just can't…"
"Bring them with you…" he said suddenly.
"what?" she asked confusedly.
"Sean, and Tracker…ask them to move into the house, so you're not alone, and so the house is taken care of if and when I have to leave again."
Ellie was stunned, "I don't know if I can do that…I mean…it's embarrassing."
"How so?" he asked gently wiping tears from his daughter's eyes.
"Tracker's going through some financial troubles…" she said simply. Greg nodded, understandingly know fully well how degrading of someone's pride it could be to given such a charity.
"I'll pay them…to keep watch over the house…over you."
"I don't think paying my boyfriend and his brother is a way to win over the situation Dad."
"Well do you think they'd be up for dinner?" he asked.
Ellie shrugged, "couldn't hurt to ask."
-X-
Orion brushed his floppy blonde hair out of his face and knocked gently on the door of the del Rossi home and smiled as Marco opened the door with a sullen face. Marco smiled weakly and let Orion in and the pair walked into the living room, where Marco was piecing together a slideshow for an assembly he was putting together for school. "Ellie's coming by later with a documentary piece she edited together at the station," Marco said simply as he slumped down at the kitchen table.
"You okay?" Orion asked, sitting down at the table, "you've been pretty quiet since the dance."
"It's just overwhelming, you know?" Marco said resting his head in his hands, "almost talking to the wooden kitchen table, "someone I used to pass in the halls everyday…someone I'd known through passing…someone my age is dead, it's just…"
"not fair?" Orion asked. Marco shrugged. "Did Ellie ever tell you about Verity?" Orion asked.
"A few times…she really don't like talking about it all too much."
"Ellie wasn't there very long but she and Verity were instantly joined at the hips, they weren't close, but they were close enough…Ellie was in the same room, and tried to wake her up that morning."
Marco covered his mouth, "she didn't tell me that," Marco sighed.
"She was devasted."
"this makes in two people she's lost,…three if you count her mother" Marco mentioned, "this is all in the past year alone."
Orion shrugged, "she's tougher than she looks," he mentioned, "though you can tell she still misses Verity."
"how?"
"just this thing she does from time to time, the way she sometimes tugs on her lips when she's starting to get upset…Ver used to do it too…" Orion mentioned.
Marco nodded casually as he heard Ellie let herself in, "Marco, I got the video," she called out, and stopped short as she saw Orion sitting at the kitchen table. She smiled wide and threw herself into his arms. "I didn't know you were gunna be here!" she shrieked happily.
"thought we could use an extra pair of hands," Marco mentioned, smiling as he saw Ellie's face lit up. He never realized how close Ellie and Orion had gotten while she was away, he just knew they had gotten very intimate in an emotional way. He never doubted her relationship with Sean, despite how much she cared about Orion and the chemistry that oozed between them.
"So is everything else set?" she asked, sitting down at the table and looking over the slides.
"We just need to throw these together into a power point presentation and get over to the school," Marco said while fumbling through the pictures and headlines and notes on the cluttered table and reached for his laptop and small scanner.
Ellie nodded, "are you guys hungry, I could run back out again and grab us something to eat," she mentioned.
-X-
"Hey Sweets," Mark said as she reached out and took Ashley by the hands and pulled her close, gently pecking her on the cheek. She blushed heavily and fell into his embrace.
"So why the surprise date?" she asked giggling, as they slipped into the closest booth at the Dot. She frowned as she slid across the cushioned seat and stared across the table to find herself face to face with Craig. She turned back to Mark, "why is he here?" she asked, a mix of anger and a mix of sorrow.
The more Craig ran into her life the more she seemed to waver between sanity and despair. The boy that'd betrayed her the most was constantly popping in and out of life and her heart couldn't take the pain any more, even though she had moved on.
"Ash hear me out," Craig begged.
Ashley looked back and forth between Mark and Craig and crossed her arms. "Go ahead," she said simply preparing to hopefully hear something worth while.
"I'm sorry…I don't know how many times you want me to tell you, but I really am. I royally fucked up, and I was incredibly stupid and hurt you and Manny, and it wasn't fair to either of you."
Ashley felt Mark wrap a comforting arm around her as she listened to Craig apologize.
"We were friends before that though, and I really miss the girl that had intelligent and thought provoking things to say, the girl that was interested in my music, and the girl that I always knew I could turn to when things got a little bumpy down the road."
Ashley sighed. "Why are you apologizing now?"
"Because I need you," Craig answered.
Ashley raised an eyebrow, "what do you mean?" she asked, "you need me?"
"We need you…" Mark mentioned, "because we think we've got something that could pretty much rock the hell out of this town."
Ashley looked between Mark and Craig questionably. "We want to start a band," Craig blurted out and Ashley smirked. Craig knew that smirk, and it was a good sign that things were just about to fall into place.
Ashley's face softened, "alright, I know your little minds must've already named your little pet project."
Craig and Mark looked at each other, "MASH Therapy," the said together, smiling proudly.
Ashley chuckled a bit. "I like it…so who else is in on this?"
Craig smiled and rested his palms on the table, "alright," he said getting excited, "we've got Spin on drums."
"what about Ellie?" Ashley suggested, "she plays too."
"for how long?" Craig asked, not really comfortable with the idea of Ellie drumming.
"she's just started up again, dragged her kit from the attic, but she's been staying at Sean's…so I don't really know."
Craig shrugged, "Spin's been playing for a while, but mostly in percussion lab at school, so he doesn't really have a kit."
"I'm sure Ellie would be willing to spare hers," Mark suggested. Ashley nodded.
"Okay," Craig continued, drumming his thumbs against the linoleum table top, "and I was thinking you on vocals, Ash, and me and Mark on guitar, and Marco on bass."
Ashley raised an eyebrow, "Marco plays bass?"
"Do you know any other bass players?" Craig asked.
"Terri, but last time I spoke with her, her and her dad were permanently moving to New York to further her plus modeling career," Ashley mentioned, and then her gears began turning, "Ellie…Ellie plays bass guitar."
"since when?" Craig asked.
"since she moved here?" Ashley reminded him, pointing out that on occasion she's switch the electric guitar she carried around school with a bass guitar. Craig nodded, since it made perfect sense that Ellie would love music, making it, listening to it, and all of the above considering she wanted to write and report on music.
"So…" Mark spoke up, "Me, Sweets, Craig, Ells, and Spin…?"
"Looks like it," Ash said.
"MASH Therapy…" Craig said, again proud of the name.
-X-
Jay raised his hand to knock on the door but took a step back. He really didn't know why he was standing outside of Alex's apartment. It felt like forever since he'd been there, just sitting on the couch sharing a beer with his favorite girl, watching a race or Steven Segal movie. He actually smiled as he thought about how often him and Alex had just stayed in. He dropped his hands into his pockets, reminiscing for a moment about everything he and Alex had been through. The bruises, the black eyes, the bloody lips that they played off the next day as a trip down the stairs. And if anyone ever questioned her about Jay was always right there to defend her.
The thought of his child, his blood, his future pickpocket of a son was stuck in an apartment with Alex as his only line of defense. He shuddered to think of having a girl. Too much work with girls, too much emotion, sometimes he wondered how he put up with all the pheromones when he was constantly surrounded by Amy, Alex, and Ellie all at once. At least with a boy he could teach him about cars, and get their hands dirty together. He leaned against the banister as he looked at the door , waiting to build up the balls to knock on the door and potentially apologize for his behavior.
A crash resounded from inside the apartment followed by shouts. Jay, on instinct, ran to the door and prayed that it was unlocked as he turned the knob and forced himself into the apartment. As he stumbled into the apartment he found Emily struggling to hold Chad back as he slapped Alex across the face. The drunken brute pushed Emily back into the kitchen table and stalked after Alex.
"When 'ya gunna learn to keep yar trap shut?" Chad drawled as Alex tried to back away from him. Jay looked at Alex , she had a cut across her face from where Chad's ring had grazed her cheek from the harsh slap and he jumped to her side and tugged her out of his path.
Alex looked back at Jay as he continued to keep himself between Chad and Alex. "What are you doing here?" she asked as blood dripped onto her white tank top.
"would you just shut up and let me handle this?" Jay said and nudged Alex over to Emily in the kitchen and put himself fully between Chad and the girls. "Chad man, hey, long time no see," he said holding up his arms as if he were welcoming an old friend. Chard raised his brow in confusion. "How about we watch the game?" Jay suggested, trying to calm the drunk down.
"Yar stupid bitch needs ta be taught a lesson," Chad drawled.
"Nah, you don't wanna hurt Lexxi, she's just being Lexxi."
Alex looked up from helping her mother to her feet, "tell him to get his sorry ass out of here, Jay."
Jay rolled his eyes and dropped his arms from leading Chad to the couch. That was his Alex, always opening her mouth at the worst times. Chad pushed past Jay, who was unable to stop him as he grabbed Alex by the arm and tossed her like a rag doll towards the open door.
"When ya gunna learn that youse living under my rules…youse gotta follow my roof," Chad drunkenly swung a punch at Alex who ducked out of the way making him even more angry. Jay rushed to the door and managed to catch sight of Alex backing away from Chad towards the stairs. Her eyes were pleading and begging for help as Chad took one more swing and punched Alex fiercely in the jaw and she stumbled backwards. She quickly wrapped her arms protectively around her stomach as she fell back and took a harsh tumble down the stairs.
Jay ran as quickly as his feet would let him and he rushed past Chad, pushing him out of the way and down the stairs three at a time until he got to the bottom. He quickly dropped to Alex's side, pulling her head into his lap and smoothing her hair. She looked up, "hey Jay," she said weakly. He smiled softly and quickly looked over her body, checking for any bad injuries as he pulled out his cell phone and called for an ambulance. "Do you think the baby's okay?"
Jay froze, he'd completely forgotten about the baby and looked down to see Alex's one obviously broken arm twisted and contorted over her stomach and a pool of blood spilling out from between Alex's legs. "I'm sure the baby's fine," Jay lied, and smoothed Alex's hair. "It's a Hogart…and Hogarts are stubborn asses." Alex smiled.
Jay was pulled back into reality when he heard an operator over the phone, "Yea, can you send an ambulance to Spring Street Apartments? my ex-girlfriend was took a tumble down the stairs…she's pregnant."
Jay looked up the stairs at as Chad slowly disappeared back into the apartment. He was mentally hitting himself as he remembered the most important thing about being with Alex was his ability to protect her from the fights. Always playing the middle man to keep Chad calm and keep Alex out of the line of fire. He failed, and this time, Alex wasn't the only one to pay for his mistakes.
A/N: I honestly think only one person knows how many times I rewrote this chapter, particularly because he's proofread it every time I've made the slightest change. I apologize for the wait, but for some odd reason, it's been harder and harder for me to write. It'll be a while before I push out another chapter, of this I know. Don't get the wrong impression by that short three parter I posted apart from this, that's been in the works for a few months now. Read, review if you want, and be constructive...
MJ
