Note: Sorry it's been a little while! I had my finals about a week ago and then had a mild case of writer's block this week. But here's a long chapter to make up for it! :) Hope you enjoy.
It was a rough day for everyone. It always was when there were kids involved. The usual banter that accompanied their workday was gone, replaced with a solemn reverence as they processed evidence and pieced the crime scene together: a home attacked in the middle of the night, a 16-year-old babysitter, 10-year-old girl, and eight-year-old boy all gone in the blink of an eye.
Everyone knew it was different when you had kids – more personal when you knew exactly what the world was losing, and just how innocent they were. It was impossible not to imagine yourself in the parents' shoes, impossible not to think of your own. That was why everyone kept checking on Calleigh out of the corner of their eyes all morning. But she'd been completely fine, seemingly keeping her distance emotionally while focusing on the task at hand with an added drive most of them possessed today.
Eric had been especially careful not to patronize her, making sure she didn't notice his lingering gazes and watchful eyes. But when everyone had left for lunch and Calleigh had pressed on, he hadn't been able to ignore the glimpse of her discreetly ducking into the locker room. And he also hadn't been able to ignore the urge to check on her, his legs nearly on autopilot as they trekked down the hall after her.
He pushed the locker room door open, looking both ways for familiar blonde hair even though he knew exactly where she'd be: in front of her locker in their team's private little corner, tucked away at the back of the rows. And that was where he found her, locker aimlessly open, head resting against her forearm as she leaned into the open door, taking a just a moment to not completely distance herself from the case and let herself feel the realities of it.
After a moment, she sensed she wasn't alone; somehow she just knew he was there and so she breathed in deeply before she stood upright, hand still resting on her locker door. She swallowed the lump of emotion in her throat and turned to him, smiling sadly. "Hey...sorry, I didn't realize anyone was still here."
"I couldn't really bring myself to take a break from this one," Eric admitted.
"Yeah," she agreed, nodding slowly, her understanding eyes tracing over his solemn features.
"You okay?" he asked, eyes drifting toward where her hand was still resting in her locker: over the dried flowers she'd pressed into a display frame and hung on the inside of her locker door, the ones Claire and Austin had picked for her the day she got to bring them home. Calleigh was not a sentimental person, and he knew for a fact that she only had one personal item hanging in her locker before these kids – an antique locket her grandmother had given her that had been there as long as he'd known her. The flowers were a very telling addition.
She didn't really answer, just shrugged as an attempt at another sad smile passed over her lips. Her eyes lingered on the flowers, and when she met his gaze again her eyes were red-rimmed with the threat of tears. "I just keep seeing that little boy's nightstand over and over again...the book he was reading, Claire has it."
Eric's eyes softened on her and he swallowed hard, taking a step closer. Her shoulders relaxed and her eyes watered at the prospect of his touch, and she didn't have the mental energy to think about what that meant right now even though it was monumental. Usually her armor grew tougher in the presence of others and she only ever let herself go in the comfort of privacy, but Eric...Eric was an emotional trigger, and as his arms slipped around her frame, comforting and sturdy and warm, he easily chipped her defenses away.
There were no words needed as his arms enveloped her in an intimate hug, her body tucked against his, his hand moving up to cradle the back of her head over her smooth blonde hair. His head fit perfectly atop hers, leaving her to bury her face against the comforting crook of his neck. Her eyes welled more at the overwhelming contact, a few tears overflowing as she tried to blink them back.
After a long silence and several shaky breaths, she shook her head at herself a little. "I was so worried about being a good parent while being a cop… I never realized I'd have to worry about it the other way around, too."
"You're still an amazing cop," he assured without missing a beat. "And you're an incredible mom," he added, emotion sending his voice low and gravelly in a way that made her hairs stand on edge. Despite having adopted kids nearly two months ago, she didn't hear that word all that often. Claire and Austin called her Calleigh, both because that was how they knew her and because they had a mom of their own when they were very young whom Calleigh had no intention of competing with. But hearing Eric use the M word still did a little something to her.
He turned slightly until his lips were against her temple, his knuckles reassuringly brushing over her spine as he pressed his lips to her forehead. The contact made her close her eyes, relishing in the comfort and familiarity.
And then, because emotions were already high and her heart was a confusing mixture of calmed and anxious, she asked, "What are we doing?"
"I don't know," he breathed out, fingers finding her elbow and then trailing down her arm until they threaded with her own. "We're friends...friends help each other out…"
"Not like this," she said, a hint of amusement in her voice as her fingers wrapped around his.
"Maybe not," he admitted, a little smile tugging at his lips despite the weight of the conversation. "But I can't just stop. I can't just turn this off."
"Me either," she said honestly, brows knitting together with emotion as she pulled back enough to study him.
"Is that such a bad thing?" he asked, the innocence and mischievousness of it actually making the corners of her lips curve upward.
"I don't know." She sighed, her other hand finding his and interlacing their fingers as she leaned into him again, resting her forehead against his chest. He wrapped their joined hands around her, settling them on her back, and pressed his lips to the crown of her head. Both of them lingered longer than they should've at work, needing the reassurance and familiarity today. She honestly didn't know what they were doing – if it was good or bad or just was what it was. All she knew was that today had her longing for both this and those sweet kids of hers she hadn't stopped thinking about all day.
"Eric!"
The little voice that had recently become quite familiar to him brought a smile to his face before he'd even turned. Despite the surprise of hearing it in this context – while walking down the hall of the lab – there was no mistaking it, and when he turned, Claire was most definitely running towards him.
Given that it was Tuesday and nearly a week since their typical Wednesday gathering, they hadn't seen each other yet this week, and Claire's enthusiasm was infectious as she crashed into his legs. She hugged them for a moment and then pulled back to jump up and down, beaming with a smile.
"Hey," Eric let out as he chuckled, resting an affectionate hand over her braided hair. It was only as she calmed down that he had the chance to take in Austin and then Calleigh trailing down the hall behind Claire, Austin picking up the pace as he realized who she'd found. Calleigh hung back to take it all in with an all-at-once calm, knowing, and emotionally overwhelmed look on her face, his eyes all too easily taking in the playful sway of her hips as she lagged behind to let them have their moment.
"What are you guys doing here?" he asked, gaze shifting back to Claire and then Austin as he caught up. It was five o' clock: long after they got out of school, and long after Calleigh was supposed to be clocked out.
"Calleigh has to do some paperwork," Claire told him. "Austin and I are gonna draw and do our fingerprints, and then we're all gonna spoil our dinner with ice cream!" She pushed up onto her toes excitedly, looking up at him hopefully. "Do you want to come with us?!"
Eric hesitated, looking up at Calleigh as she reached them; he didn't want to intrude on her time with them, especially not today, and he was wary of involving himself in too many family events given both previous and current situations, along with the fact that she'd initially told him she needed to do this process on her own.
But Calleigh was smiling with bright, playful eyes as she asked, "Well, do you?"
"I would love to," he said softly, eyes dancing between Claire and Calleigh.
"Great, just give me like 30 minutes to finish up this report," she said as she began to direct the kids into an empty processing room. "We'll come find you when I'm done."
/~/
Ice cream cones and cups in hand, the four of them were now strolling along the promenade that surrounded the shopping center with Calleigh's favorite ice cream shop. The brick walkway gave way to a circle that wrapped around a large fountain, and Austin quickly jumped up onto the retaining wall that surrounded it. Claire followed, precariously balancing her melting ice cream cone and lapping up a big drip of chocolate just before it hit her hand.
She looked back at Eric and Calleigh, trailing just slightly behind, and smiled, all bright and happy and especially adorable with a glob of chocolate painted beneath her lips.
"Can we make wishes?" she asked, eyes flickering between the shining pennies, dimes, and quarters at the bottom of the water.
"They're not gonna come true," Austin said, mostly just fulfilling his big brotherly obligation to be cynical and mess with his little sister.
"You don't know that," Claire snapped back, taking care of another drip of ice cream before it caused a mess. She watched Calleigh dig a few pennies from her clutch and held her free hand out. Turning back towards the fountain, she closed her eyes tightly in thought while she made her wish, opening them as she tossed the penny into the middle of the fountain and watched it settle at the bottom.
"Are you gonna make one?" she asked Eric and Calleigh.
Calleigh pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes in thought. "Okay," she said after a moment, stepping up to the fountain and hesitating for a moment before she flicked a penny in after Claire's.
Claire set her sights on Eric then, watching on excitedly as he made his wish and then sent a penny flipping in an arc through the air before splashing into the water.
"What did you wish for?" she asked him mischievously despite knowing proper wish protocol.
"I can't tell you, 'cause then it won't come true," Eric said, standing his ground despite a pretty adorable grin that was currently melting him from the inside out.
Calleigh watched on with a smile, knowing exactly what was happening as Claire tried to wear him down with pleases and puppy dog eyes. Her efforts dissolved in a fit of giggles when Eric tickled her and picked her up, risking certain ice cream drips on his t-shirt.
It was through a mix of teases and giggles and Austin splashing water at them, contributing to the chaos, that Calleigh heard her name.
"Calleigh?"
It sounded just a touch familiar, but she couldn't put her finger on it, and as she turned toward the sound she was surprised to find Eric's oldest sister walking into the circle from the other end of the walkway. Since Calleigh had moved forward away from the splashing, she was the first one to be recognized. But as Christina drew closer and she had a better angle, her smile of recognition soon turned into a smirk as she could finally see who was accompanying her little brother's ex (she thought)-girlfriend: none other than her little brother, looking very comfortable playing with two kids she'd never seen before.
"Christina, hey." Calleigh smiled, holding her dwindling cup of mint chocolate chip away from her body as Christina wrapped an arm around her in a quick hug. "How are you?"
The name had caught Eric's attention, and he eased Claire down as he stepped forward.
"I'm good," she said quickly, eyes then dancing between her brother and Calleigh, taking in the two of them dressed down after work: Eric in his gym clothes for his next destination, which probably wasn't going to be very successful after two scoops of chocolate chip cookie dough, and Calleigh in dress pants and a purple tank top after ditching her blazer. Her eyes lingered on Calleigh, who was freshly tanned from all her outside time with the kids, eyes bright and happy much like her brother's. "You look good…" she began with every bit of the assumptive undertone she'd intended. Before Calleigh could awkwardly respond, she set her sights on Eric. "Hey, little bro."
"Hi." Eric smiled, moving towards her for a warm hug as Claire hesitated behind him, finding safe ground between him and Calleigh.
"Who's this?" she asked, nodding towards Claire before her eyes drifted over to Austin, too.
"That's Claire," Calleigh chimed in, placing a supportive hand on Claire's back as she leaned into her. "And this is Austin," she added, motioning to him with the arm that was busy holding her ice cream. "They came to live with me about two months ago." She smiled, watching an understanding smile appear on Christina's face. "Guys, this is Eric's sister, Christina."
"Hi," Austin said politely, excited about meeting someone from Eric's family. "Do you play basketball, too?"
Christina laughed, eyes dancing between Eric and Austin. "No, I kinda suck at sports. Except swimming. Hey, speaking of, you guys should come play with my kids at our pool sometime."
"You have a pool?!" Austin asked, brown eyes wide as he looked over at Calleigh. "Can we please go?"
"We'll see…" Calleigh said, eyes flickering between him and Christina a little hesitantly.
Christina, ever in tune with her little brother, noticed the way his eyes landed on Calleigh before a look of hope and hesitation passed over his features. And as a clearly shy and suspicious Claire tugged Austin away from her – a stranger, despite being the relative of someone she clearly adored – and back toward the fountain, Christina couldn't help herself.
"So, I didn't realized you guys were, uh…" She motioned between them, not having the words… Dating? Together? She was kind of hoping one of them would fill in the blank.
"Oh," Calleigh said, not at all surprised because she had definitely already realized the implications that had been made here. "We're...not, really." She winced at her last choice of word, knowing that Christina was reading them like a book and making this chance encounter even more awkward.
Luckily, Eric was a little more used to interrogations by his sister. "We're not," he assured, although a telling smile that mirrored his sister's was currently curving up the corners of his lips. "We're friends."
She grinned, swiping away a long, dark lock of hair that had blown into her face as her eyes danced between them suspiciously. "Right…well, pool offer still stands. As long as it's not weird for Eric."
Calleigh pressed her lips together to keep from smiling, avoiding eye contact with Eric. It had been a while since she'd been around the Delkos, and she was a little off the throw-everything-out-in-the-open game that generally permeated their family interactions. It was both reassuring and terrifying. "Thanks, I'll make sure."
"I'm gonna return this before the shop closes," Christina said, motioning to the paper department store bag in her hand. "Enjoy your…" She paused, realizing she'd been about to say date or evening or something equally implicative. She finally settled on "ice cream" with a playful grin as she disappeared down the walkway.
Calleigh shook her head as they watched her walk away, an amused smile gracing her features. "She's gonna tell your mom," she teased, watching Eric's reaction as he smiled and rolled his eyes.
"Obviously," he said, both of them fully knowing he was in for quite the interrogation at some point in the near future.
Realizing the time as she checked her watch, Calleigh tossed her nearly empty cup into a trash can. "Austin, Claire, we gotta get home and eat some real food before it gets too late."
"Maybe we should just get pizza," Austin suggested hopefully, met with raised brows.
"Try leftover chicken and vegetables," Calleigh shot back playfully. "To make up for the ice cream."
Claire wrinkled her nose at that, but followed Calleigh's lead as she stuck the last of her ice cream cone in her mouth and began the walk back to the car.
"Are you coming to dinner, too?" Austin asked Eric hopefully as they followed the line of cars through the parking lot.
"Not tonight," Eric said regretfully. "I have to get to the gym, but basketball tomorrow, right?"
"Tomorrow's Wednesday?" Austin asked excitedly, receiving a confirmatory nod and a smile in response. "Yesssss!"
"I'll see you guys tomorrow," Eric said, chuckling softly at Austin as they reached their cars parked side by side. "Have a good night."
Both kids wished him goodnight as they climbed into Calleigh's SUV but Calleigh lingered, anxiously tapping her clutch against her other palm as she and Eric stood near the back of their cars. Eric studied her, a knowing smile on his lips at her hesitation. They were having a lot of these moments lately: awkward goodbyes amid undetermined boundaries, neither of them knowing how to handle the situations they found themselves in.
"Enjoy your night," he said, beginning to make his way around the back of his car toward the driver's side. But as he did, Calleigh couldn't help but tug on his shirt, not bold or sure enough to pull him close but not quite wanting him to leave yet.
"Hey, thanks for coming with us," she said sincerely, drawing her hand back before she did more. "And thanks...for earlier." She smiled awkwardly, not at all worried about bearing her emotions to him but more than a little unsure of where they stood.
"Anytime," he assured, and she knew that he meant it without question. "You doing okay?" he asked a little more seriously, brows furrowing.
"Yeah, I'm good now. Just happy to be headed home with them, knowing we did what we could today to make the world a little safer."
"Back at it tomorrow," Eric said.
"Always," Calleigh agreed like it was a promise, her bright green eyes holding his.
And there they were again, standing across from each other longing for more, Eric with his hands in his pockets to keep from reaching for her, Calleigh shifting her weight anxiously.
"Well, goodnight," she told him, surprising him a little as she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him for the second time that day. She'd hugged him in front of Austin and Claire before, friendly and quick, but somehow this felt different. Because as his arms found their way around her waist and he enveloped her against his warm, comforting body, he rested his head against hers, taking in the familiar scent of her shampoo.
"Goodnight, Cal," he said softly, lips brushing against her temple as he spoke.
She pulled back, eyes communicating everything they couldn't say or do right now as she parted from him. She smiled both sadly and knowingly as she climbed into her car, sighing as she settled into the front seat. The kids were surprisingly quiet in the backseat, with nothing but the rush of the air conditioner and the low hum of the radio greeting her as she buckled her seatbelt.
But then Austin's voice cut through the quiet, asking, "Is Eric, like, your boyfriend?"
Calleigh's eyes widened a little, though she had to duck her head as an amused smile spread across her lips, especially as Claire giggled. "No. Why?"
"I dunno, it just seems like he likes you, and you know his family and stuff."
Calleigh bit her lip as she moved the car into reverse and checked her mirrors before pulling out. She meant it when she promised herself that she'd be as honest with these kids as possible, even about something as complicated and undefined as this.
"We used to date," she admitted as she maneuvered the car through the shopping center. "But now we're just good friends."
She glanced in the mirror, seeing Austin purse his lips in thought. But it was Claire's voice that came next.
"Why'd you stop being boyfriend and girlfriend?"
Calleigh breathed out, resigning herself to this innocent interrogation. "It's kind of tough to explain, but...we weren't really sure we wanted the same things. And in relationships it's important to make sure you both want the same things out of life. Otherwise you might really care about each other a lot, but you're not a good match for each other." Calleigh looked at both kids in the mirror, each of them staring out the window in thought. "Does that make sense?"
"Kind of," Claire said thoughtfully, her brows knitting together. "But if you really like each other, maybe you could try to want the same things."
Calleigh smiled, wishing it were that simple. Heck, maybe it should be...
And then Claire innocently added, "If I were a grown-up, I'd be Eric's girlfriend. He's really nice."
Laughing softly as she changed lanes to get on the interstate, Calleigh couldn't help but nod and agree. "Yeah, he sure is."
