Wow, it has been a really long time since I updated this one. Sorry about that. Anywho, Lindsay is finally on her way back to the hospital. Thanks to my readers, reviewers, and especially my beta RyanLaurel. So without further ado, warning and disclaimers the same with some stronger language, here is the next chapter.


"Reconciliation is to understand both sides; to go to one side and describe the suffering being endured by the other side, and then go to the other side and describe the suffering being endured by the first side."

-Thich Nhat Hanh


"What's the verdict, Doc?" asked Don as the doctor finished checking the different machines.

"I'm afraid his heart is getting weaker," said the doctor, shaking his head as he wrote on Danny's charts. "His heartbeat seems to be slowing three bpm's each hour and his blood pressure is still dropping. His wounds are still bleeding as well. To be honest, I am greatly concerned."

This was not what Flack had been hoping to hear. He wanted nothing more than for that doctor to say Danny was doing better and could wake up at any time. "Doctor, you don't mean…you're not tellin' me…"

"I'm sorry, Detective," he said placing his hand on Don's shoulder, "he could go at any time. I would say your goodbyes while you can." With that, the doctor walked out of Danny's room, closing the door behind him.

"This isn't happening," cried Stella softly from where she sat in the chair next to Danny's bed. She had noticed his heart slowing before the doctor had said it; it was gradual, but slowing nonetheless. "We're losing him just like we lost Aiden."

Sid and Hawks entered the room with Adam in tow, all looking very solemn. "The doctor just told us," said Hawks, shaking his head in disbelief.

Adam looked around the room as if he had expected to see someone. "Where's Lindsay?" he asked having not been present to witness her little escape. "I thought she would be in here with Danny?"

"Lindsay made a run for it," said Flack harshly.

"Flack," said Stella, warning in the single syllable, eyes ablaze with fire.

"No, Stel," said Flack, shooting an angry glare back at her. "How could she do this to him? Of all the people who should be here, his girlfriend is number one followed in close second by his best friend."

"Flack, you have to understand...," began Stella in an attempt to defend her friend.

"No, I don't," said Flack, turning to look at his best friend as the rising sun began to illuminate Danny's face. "I don't have to understand, and I don't want to understand. I know she's been through a lot, but so has he, and I know he would be in that chair, by her side, the entire way if she were in his place."

"I know," came a soft voice from the door. Flack turned and was taken aback to see a drenched Lindsay standing just outside the doorway. "I should have been here the entire time, I see that. But I'm here now and I am willing to stay by his side, no matter what happens."

Everyone just sat there in silence for a moment, contemplating Lindsay's words, until Mac broke through. "Has the doctor said anything about his condition?"

Stella, Sid, Flack, Hawks and Adam all looked at each other, wondering which one of them was going to be brave enough to break the news to their companions. "They told us we should probably start saying our goodbyes," said Hawks, not really knowing how best to break the news, but willing to take the responsibility. He walked over and enveloped Lindsay in a hug, feeling her muscles go rigid from his words. "I am so sorry, Lindsay."

Lindsay began to shake and felt the need to run again. The images that had haunted her before resurfaced, but she stood her ground, determined to stand by him this time. She felt a strong hand squeeze her shoulder and she looked to see Mac, a weak smile on his face. "You alright?" he asked.

"For now," she said. "There's still a chance that he could pull through, right?" She tried to smile, but it came out looking pained, but to Mac, it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Lindsay wasn't loosing hope yet.

"Right," he said.

The door behind them opened and a stout, crabby looking nurse came into the room and, after looking a little surprised, glared at them. "What are you all still doing here?" she asked in a frogish voice.

Stella sent a death glare back at the old woman. "We're visiting our dying friend," she said, making sure the annoyance was evident in her voice.

"Visiting hours ended a long time ago," said the woman, making sure to stare down Mac. "You all have to leave."

"But, Danny is dying," said Lindsay, not able to keep the panic out of her voice. "I need to be here."

"Doesn't matter," said the nurse, now staring down Lindsay. "There are other patients trying to recover here and you all running around the hospital isn't helping anyone else. You can say your goodbyes and then out you go. You got a half an hour."

"But…" started Adam.

"You can come back at noon when visiting hours open again like the rest of New York," said the woman, walking up to Adam and prodding his shoulder with a body finger. The old woman waddled her way back to the door and began to leave. "Half an hour," she said, before closing the door behind her.

They all knew she was serious, so they decided to take turns saying goodbye, just in case. Lindsay refused to go first, actually she insisted on going last because she knew she had a tendency to ramble and wanted everyone to have the chance to talk to Danny. One by one, they entered Danny's room alone and stoic only to return a little later with tears streaming down their face. Mac was the only one who wasn't full blown crying when he exited the room, but then again, no one knew what had happened in there.

Flack came out of the room and was instantly enveloped in a hug from Stella as the young man was in a furious onslaught of tears. Lindsay felt for the man, knowing that, like Danny, he hated having people see his emotions other than love and happiness. Lindsay couldn't help but feel sorry for Flack. He and Danny had been friends since they graduated from the academy almost ten years ago and they were very close. She didn't know what he was going to do without Danny, and to be honest, neither did Flack.

Finally, it was Lindsay's turn with five minutes before the visiting hours Nazi came back to usher them out. She went in the room an quietly shut the door cutting of the sobs of her friends and filling her ears with the sounds of the machines helping him breath and reading his vitals. The slow beeping of the heart monitor was what bothered her most, reminding her that he was slowly fading away from her.

She slipped her hand into his, careful not to shake lose any of the tubes and needles leading into his arms. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath before starting.

"Hey Danny," she said quietly. "Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, it's just…Danny, I'm…I'm scared, ok? There, I said it. Everything about this, about you, is scaring me."

Suddenly, the words she had been feeling just started to slip off her tongue. "You know I love your passion of everything you do and I know you don't like people to see your emotions. I know and love that weird sense of responsibility you have about all of the people you love.

"When I was a little girl, I was always one of those who dreamt of finding the prince that would love me and keep me out of harms way. Who knew that when I grew up, I would actually find what I was looking for? Well, maybe not the prince part…"

She imagined the reaction she would have gotten from him and looked at his face. Though it was unchanged, she decided to go with it just in case he could hear her. "Don't look at me in that tone of voice (1), Messer," she bantered, "you ain't a prince, but I would take your motorcycled pauper ass over any pompous horse rider any day.

"But as much as I love your passion, the way you deal with the emotions that come with it is the scary part. I saw the way you acted with Ruben's death. I'm terrified of the day someone closer to you dies, like Louie or your parents…or me. I worry that you would go into such a depressed spiral that you would do something you would regret, or worse. I just wish you would open up to me. I know I said I wasn't very good at these sort of things, but at least let me try to help you. Let me help you diffuse some of that emotional energy before it destroys you."

Lindsay took another deep breath. She was beginning to talk very fast and she wanted to do this right. So, after a moment of calming down, she continued.

"But that isn't what is scaring me most; what is, is right here in front of me. Danny, the doctors say that there is a big chance that you won't make it through this. I'm trying really hard to be positive, but every time I look at you, I see you bleeding on the ground, or almost dying in the ambulance, or…or my friends lying dead on the floor of that restaurant." Her voice began to shake and tears welled into her eyes.

No, she thought forcing her tears back and her voice to steady. I told myself I wasn't going to cry for this. "I'm going to be strong for you," she said softly.

"Danny, I just got you back and I'm terrified of losing you again. You make me happy, Danny; you make each day exciting and worth getting up for, even if it's only to see your face.

"I don't know if you can hear me, and if you can, you don't even have to say it back if you don't want to, but I love you, Danny Messer. I know our actions say it, but I wanted to actually say it. If you don't make it through this, I just want to make sure that I physically told you what you mean to me. I love you, Danny, and I always will, no matter what happens.

"Don't worry, Danny, you won't be alone in this world anymore. I'm begging you to fight for me, for us. I need you here, Danny, and so does everyone else."

There was a loud knock on the door before it was thrust open and the small, froggy nurse stepped into the room. Her hair was disheveled and she looked rather angry. "I told you, you had to be out of here ten minutes ago," she said angrily, her eyes narrowed at Lindsay.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, but added more forcefully, "but I don't really give a fuck about your timeline and when you say I have to be out of here. The man I love is dying and I will take as long as I damn well please to say what I need to say." The nurse looked at her astounded that anyone would talk to her that way. Lindsay just barely caught a sight of Flack snickering, as best as one could in their situation, before continuing with the nurse. "Now I will respect your authority and leave for the evening, but you can bet your ass I'm gonna be back here well before noon to see him, and I just dare you to stop me."

Lindsay turned to Danny and placed a kiss on his forehead before saying kindly, "Goodbye, Cowboy. I'll be back in the morning. I love you." With that, she pushed by the stout woman and walked down the hallway, followed closely by the others.

Don't worry, Danny, I'll be back.

Unknown to her, if she would have stayed just a moment longer, she would have seen Danny's fingers twitch and a solitary tear slide down his pale cheek.


So, how did I do? Do you think he is gonna pull through or turn this bad boy into a tragedy? I literally wrote Lindsay's speech in one sitting, free written. I didn't fix it, because I wanted it to seem as rough and jumpy as it would be in the real world if this was happening. No smooth romatic speeches in this universe folks! My personal favorite part was when Lindsay went off on the nurse. I had fun writting that part. Don't flame me because I made the group have to leave.

1- My roommate/best friend/ beta says this to me a lot (ok, more like once or twice, but that's beside the point). I laughed at it and thought it was funny so I stuck it in there to lighten the mood.