Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the Saga. I am just playing with figments of my imagination.

Chapter Seven

I couldn't avoid the fascination that now surrounded my window. I was almost ready to move the dresser, but a tinge of fear still lingered deep within me. I'd start to move it and would only make it about four inches before my body started to shake and wouldn't stop until I'd pushed it back.

I also decided it was time to put the mirrors back into my room.

When I came home from the hospital, I had taken a look at myself in the mirror on my wall, and immediately punched it, causing it to shatter. This, of course, resulted in Charlie freaking out and another trip to the ER for me.

Fortunately, Dr. Cullen was there. I really liked him - he never asked me stupid questions or lectured me about safety. He just made me feel safe. I winced as he injected a local anesthetic. He worked quietly and quickly as he cleaned and then began stitching the jagged wounds.

I wasn't sure what Alice had told him about me, so I refrained asking how she was. After he finished stitching, he bandaged my hand and offered me a prescription for pain, which I declined. I was out of it enough as it was, from taking my sleep medication. I did not want to declare open season on my dopamine levels.

As he left the room, a nurse came in with an ice pack and home-care instructions. I grabbed my jacket and went to the front desk to check out. As Charlie signed me out, Dr. Cullen stopped for a minute and turned to look at me. His gaze was gentle but incredibly intense. I found it difficult to keep eye contact.

He gently suggested that removing all the mirrors from my room for a couple of weeks would not be unreasonable. He must have understood how awful it was to see my bloodshot eyes reflected back to me. Also, to my relief, he didn't say anything about the fifteen stitches I'd received either.

School was still a struggle, but had settled into a basic routine. I only mumbled vaguely when asked questions by my teachers, and fortunately, they didn't call on me that often. My grades had stopped dropping and were slowly making a turnaround. I was really starting to regret pushing Alice away though, and wanted to try and reconnect with her. Edward always lingered at the edge of my thoughts. Yes, it was definitely time to talk to Alice.

With my bloodshot eyes and bandaged knuckles, I am sure I looked like a crazed insane monster. I did have to allow myself a chuckle - with all the stares I'd received at school I'd briefly thought about carrying around a giant crucifix just to see what happened.

I caught bits and pieces of conversations from students in the hall as I shuffled between classes. My thoughts again drifted back to Alice. I missed her. I desperately wanted to talk to her, but had no idea where to start.

I had avoided her in class for so long, I wasn't sure what her response would be if I tried to make first contact in a confined setting. I figured maybe I'd try to catch her after school in a less confined environment. (Translation: so that I wouldn't feel like a rat trapped in a cage if the conversation became uncomfortable.)

I was incredibly relieved that the nightmares had stopped. I was fairly certain the sleeping pills had something to do with that.

I couldn't remember any recent dreams at all actually, and that was a welcome change. I would wake up disoriented. I had occasional brief glimpses of images just as my eyes would open. My mind had blocked most of them out, and I wasn't sure I wanted to remember them.

*******************(break)**********************

Charlie had started to encourage the walks through the woods I'd recently started taking, as long as I stayed on the main path and reasonably close to home. I think he was glad to see me doing anything that would get me out of the house.

There had been a few reports of several large dogs spotted near the path deeper in the woods, so Charlie had given me pepper spray along with his paternal concern.

My walk was peaceful and temporarily quieted the restlessness in my mind. I didn't get any resolution to anything, but the rustling of my feet on the leaves and moss soothed me. I sighed. Well, at least I can look forward to talking to Alice tomorrow. With that thought, I turned to go home.

The next morning I walked into class prepared to break the ice and wouldn't you know it - Alice wasn't there. Well there goes nothing. Then I remembered that her family was generally absent when Forks had those rare sunny days. And today was one of the sunniest days in recent memory. I vaguely remember her telling me about a cabin out in the middle of nowhere that they escaped to for family time.

I realized that as much as I missed Alice, I really had never gotten to know her. Part of me admitted that I really wanted to. I'd never had any close friends and was feeling an unfamiliar emptiness.

Thinking back on my hospitalization, I had imagined that Alice was in the hospital visiting me, and asked Charlie about it. I only got vague answers from him - he didn't recall her being there.

I remember her crying and saying she was there to protect me. I wanted to ask her what from. I was having trouble sorting it all out. I realized that I needed to go to the woods and take refuge in my sanctuary. It was the one place that I could sit quietly and try to sort reality from the fantasy in my memory of the last few months.

I looked at the light that sporadically filtered down through the dense canopy. I had a clear flash in my mind of a meadow. Along with the flash was an urgency to find the meadow as quickly as possible. Weird.

As nervous as I'd been, the thought of finding this meadow calmed me rather than evoked that anxiety that had been so present in my life these last few weeks. It was time to test my self-imposed boundaries.

I can do this.

I tried to recall the meadow from my dream. I looked around but nothing stuck out. It all looked the same. I decided to just explore each direction a bit and see where it took me. I hoped to get lucky and recognize some hidden path that would take me there.

I wasn't getting anywhere, and the daylight was slowly fading. I wanted to keep trying and decided to go a bit longer. Having no success, I would have to come back tomorrow and search again. My resolve was coming back and I was determined to figure all of this out.

I'll have to ask Charlie about it - maybe he knows where it is.

I hadn't been paying attention and realized that it had gotten dark. The woods were filled with an unseen menace. I imagined something watching me, waiting to grab me at my first misstep.

As I reached the edge of the woods that led to my yard, I heard the snap of wood and the panting of an animal, probably somebody's dog, which was out running around. I broke into a run heading for my house.

I quickly made my way across the front yard and up to the front door. I saw that the lights were on, but didn't see anyone in the living room. The door was unlocked and I went in. I heard two men speaking - Charlie, and a voice I did not recognize.

I hung up my coat and walked toward the kitchen. I was still a bit shy of strangers, and it had taken a lot of work for me to be in the same room with my classmates without jumping at every sound, let alone total strangers. Charlie never had anyone over which made tonight even more unusual.

As I came to the kitchen, I saw Charlie sitting at the table with a man that I vaguely recognized. He introduced himself as Billy Black. When I first arrived in Forks, I remembered that Charlie's best friend was Billy and that he had a son Jacob, who I'd played with many years ago. Billy had been busy with the commercial fishing season when I'd first arrived and hadn't had a chance to stop by with Jacob and renew acquaintances.

Turns out that Charlie had asked him to stay away until things had settled down with me after my "incident". Some incident. Wonder if I'll ever actually give it a name?

He was a gentle quiet man, with a kind face and ancient eyes; they oozed power and history. He completely intimidated me because he constantly watched me from the corner of his eyes - almost like he was looking for something.

Charlie informed me that Billy and Jacob would be coming over for a barbeque this coming weekend and that it was time for me to have some fun and renew some friendships. I knew he meant Jacob.

Why does Billy keep looking at me? What is he looking for?

It was starting to creep me out. I said that I was looking forward to seeing them this weekend, made my excuses, and went up to my room. I looked at my dresser and set the date. Tomorrow. Tomorrow that dresser was moving.

I heard them laughing downstairs as I went to carry out my nightly routine. I looked in the bathroom mirror and stared at the eyes looking back at me. They had gone from blood red to dark rust, and now were a medium pink. The whites were much more visible and were improving daily.

After showering, I toweled off and hurried back to my room. I took a deep breath and walked into my room before turning on the light switch. The moon was reflecting off my dresser and it appeared that a silver glow was flowing around it. It was quite beautiful actually. I stood mesmerized for what I guessed was a few minutes.

I took a few shaky steps towards the dresser and froze. The wind started up and the branches of the tree outside against my window were dancing and swaying. Although I couldn't actually see out, I could have sworn I saw the silhouette of someone sitting on the branch closest to the house. I gasped and turned to run for Charlie. I stopped myself and grabbed on to the doorframe, holding on to it so tightly that my hands started to cramp. I can't keep living like this. I need to get it together. Enough. There is nothing there. Just the wind and the branches.

I willed myself to let go of the doorframe. I turned around to face the dresser and window. The branches were no longer swaying. All was exceptionally still and silent.

I walked over to my bed and pulled the covers back and sank with relief onto the mattress. I studied the prescription bottle on my nightstand and decided that I was going to try a night without taking my sleep medication.

I will end up some strung out pill junkie if I keep this up.

I left the bottle within reach, just in case, and lay back, waiting for sleep to come. It was weird not having the drowsy wave come over me that had become so familiar.

My mind rambled around different things, images from before, feelings from after. Edward's face floated in and out. I was starting to feel the familiar elusive pull and secret attraction I'd felt for him. The room began to spin. It was coming back. The darkness. I started to panic and my hand flew toward the pill bottle.

My hand stopped as quickly as it had started. An image had appeared in my mind that was as calming as anything I'd ever experienced. My panic was gone as quickly as it had come. Surprisingly I found myself drifting off to sleep.

I really need to have my head examined.

The image chuckled at my comment. The image was of Alice's smiling face.

********************(break)**************************

I dreamed that night.

Alice was talking to me. She told me how sorry she was that she couldn't protect me but that now everything would be alright. She missed me and couldn't wait to see me at school the next day. She said her family wanted to meet me because she'd told them so much about me. She said Edward was especially worried about me.

My memory blurred after that, and I didn't remember the exact conversation we had after that, but I was glad it was about Alice. When I woke up the next morning, I felt surprisingly alert. I had expected a withdrawal effect of sorts, from the sleep medication. It was comforting that Alice had been in my dreams, but the Edward factor was unsettling.

After its day of solar glory, Forks was back to its regular overcast and rainy state. I wasn't really bothered by it too much because it meant that I'd see Alice today. I was sure of it.

I got up and quickly got ready for school. I grabbed a bagel from the fridge, got out the door and to my truck just in time to see that my car windows had been left down. I sighed in frustration, and went back to the house to grab a couple of kitchen towels so that I could wipe my seats down.

I came back out the door to find a tall young man who could only be Jacob Black standing next to my truck. I don't know how I knew who he was, I just did. He looked at my truck, back at me, and then chuckled.

He reintroduced himself and we made silly small talk about playing when we were little and what we liked now. He offered me a ride to school since he was going that way anyhow, and he had the day off from school. I really didn't want to deal with any more wetness, so I reluctantly accepted.

I climbed into his VW Rabbit, closed the door and tried to pull my seatbelt over me. It was stubborn and refused to slide into place. Jacob leaned over in front of me and started to work the belt, eventually coaxing it to latch.

I couldn't help catching his scent as he was leaned over me. He smelt of wood smoke and earth. It was a pleasant smell, and I unconsciously took a deeper breath.

After he had me safely buckled in, he pulled out of the driveway and onto the street.

As we drove toward the school, he asked me about my life in Phoenix and how I liked it here. He made me feel comfortable, and I started to relax and actually have a normal conversation with him.

We pulled into the school and he pulled up to the curve so that I could get out. I thanked him for the ride. He offered to pick me up, but I secretly hoped Alice would be doing that, so I thanked him but declined his offer. He almost looked a bit sad. I told him I'd see him next weekend and stepped out of the car.

I heard the bell ring, so I said my goodbyes and ran toward the door. I didn't see the bricks piled beside the sidewalk, and being my graceful self, tripped over the edge of the pile and began my descent into another accident face first.

I heard my name being called from across the parking lot at about the same time a pair of strong hands came between the pavement and my face. I was a bit stunned as I was roughly pulled up from behind and deposited back on my feet. The hands quickly let go, and as I turned to thank whoever helped me, I saw Edward walking away. He didn't turn around. He just kept walking. It was so weird.

I looked over at Jacob in time to see an expression of fury on his face.

What is up with that?

I took a deep breath to collect myself. I straightened out my jacket as best as I could, rearranged my backpack, and walked into the school building. I got to class just as the tardy bell rang. Made it.

Just as I'd hoped, Alice was sitting in her seat, head down reading something. As I walked by her desk, I slowed to say hi, but she reached up and grabbed my hand. She looked up at me with a big smile and said, "Welcome back. I missed you."

I felt an incredible sense of relief. "I missed you too, Alice. I have been a complete idiot. Can you forgive me? I have so much to tell you - and to ask you."

My eyes fell to the floor. She gave my hand a slight squeeze and I brought my eyes back up to meet hers.

"No apologies are necessary, Bella. All is forgiven. And I would love to see you today - can I give you a ride home?"

That was what I had hoped for. This would be a very interesting conversation.

Chapter Notes:

Nothing overly exciting this time around. Sigh. The classic transitional chapter in all its glory.