"I didn't know him," Daryl admitted, "but yeah, come in." The stranger looked kind, but still, that hadn't been the reason Daryl had let the man into the house. He'd felt he owed it to the man who'd been so friendly to his uncle. Daryl didn't know anything about Daniel, so maybe, he could learn more about the man who'd completely turned Daryl's life upside down with the unexpected legacy.
"Do you like it here?" Hershel asked after thanking Daryl for the coffee he'd placed on the table before him. He could sense how nervous and unsure the younger man was, questions and skepticism - and what seemed to be a certain wariness - written all over his blushing face as he eyed him with a shy gaze. These eyes were so familiar to him, as well as Daryl's whole appearance and demeanor. It reminded him so much of his deceased friend.
"Yeah, it's a nice house an' ... my brother and I have decided to stay here. We already have jobs an' all," Daryl answered nervously.
"That's what Daniel wanted. He never wanted the house to be sold. Was it hard to leave everything in Georgia behind?"
"There wasn't much to leave behind." Daryl looked down, suddenly ashamed of what he was. Damn, he hadn't even taken a shower or changed after work. "I know, me an' my brother don't deserve it. We don't really fit in such a nice house in a decent neighborhood, but … we're tryin'. This here is a chance for us."
"You deserve everything, Daryl." Hershel looked him straight in the eye as he nodded confidentially. "And it's never too late to change and start a new life. That's what Daniel did back then, even if it wasn't entirely voluntarily."
"Why did he go so far away? It was like he didn't wanna have anythin' to do with his family ... well, if ya could call that a family," Daryl snorted bitterly.
Hershel took a deep breath, knowing what he was about to say would mean a lot. "Daniel had to go. He had no choice. He fell in love with a married woman, and she became pregnant. He wanted to go away with her and her older son, but her husband wouldn't let her go. From what Daniel told me about him, the man would've caused a lot of trouble. And Daniel wasn't sure if this woman really wanted to leave either, so he left but sent letters and parcels to this woman, who gave him a son, whom he unfortunately never met. Not even the birth certificate showed Daniel's name. It was like he'd never had a son. Sometimes, the woman would send him photos, and he kept the pictures as if they were his greatest treasure. At some point, he stopped receiving any more photos and letters, but he never forgot his son."
"Why are ya tellin' me this?" Daryl whispered as countless pieces of the puzzle in his head suddenly merged into a coherent image. He remembered his first crossbow, which he'd had to hide from his father and other presents from which his mother had never wanted to tell him where they'd come from. He'd sensed a few times his mother had wanted to tell him something before she'd changed her mind and tears had fallen which Daryl had never been able to explain.
"This woman was your mother, Daryl. He tried to stay in touch with her for a long time, but eventually, she didn't send anything anymore and the packages he sent came back. He tried to find you but without success. My daughter and I tried to find you, too, and we did, but by then it was too late. That's why you'd never met him."
His whole poor life had been a lie and the man he'd hated, even though he should've loved him, had never been his father? He still wore scars on his body and soul, which Daryl had thought he'd deserved. Useless, worthless, and the cecum of society; that had been what his old man had told him throughout his life, and Daryl had believed the man he'd thought of as his father, not knowing there had been another reason why the asshole had hated him so much. The blood burned his veins with anger and disappointment at the pain. He'd never met his real father and the regret he felt scorched his soul.
"Daryl, I can understand you're upset." Hershel wanted to put a comforting hand on Daryl's shoulder, but he turned away, fleeing from the touch.
"She should've gone with him. He would never have found us here!" Daryl snapped bitterly.
"He was worried about your mother, your brother and, of course, you. And he felt bad enough for having had an affair with his sister in law. He didn't want to steal his brother's wife," Hershel explained calmly. "Besides, he was never sure if your mother wanted to go with him at all. He didn't know if she loved him as much as he loved her. They never talked about that. He rarely talked about what was really going on ... he was a very quiet and shy person."
Shaking his head, Daryl ruffled his hair in perplexity. His life could've been so different, without pain and with a father who would've loved him instead of beating the crap out of him. His mother wouldn't have cried and drunk all the time and … she wouldn't have died so young.
But Daryl also thought of Daniel and how much he recognized himself in his father from what Hershel had told him about the man. Daniel had also been quiet, keeping everything to himself while letting others decide about his life. Daniel and his mother had never talked about their feelings for each other, and suddenly he thought of Carol and how she didn't know how much their time together meant to him, just as he didn't know what it meant to her. He still couldn't put a finger on what it was which drew him to her, but he sensed what they had was something very special, at least to him.
"You can start over here ... like Daniel did back then. When I look at you, I see him. You had so much in common." Hershel reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and put a few photos on the kitchen table. Daniel with Hershel, Daniel as an older man in front of a black Ford Mustang and Daniel as a younger man in a black suit, a bride in white beside him. "That was Martha, she knew everything. Unfortunately, the two weren't blessed with children."
A small smile reached Daryl's lips but remained silent. His father had built a new life, a good one, though it hadn't been perfect. Maybe he could do this, too. Daniel hadn't been a stupid redneck … and maybe Daryl wasn't either.
"He wanted to write you a letter, but he was already too weak at the end. But he told me everything you need to know and where he hid the key for the safe deposit box." Hershel took his wallet from his trouser pocket, opened it slowly and showed him a small key which he put onto the table in front of Daryl. "I don't know how much money there is, but he said it would be enough to pay your brother and have a good bit left over."
Daryl looked at the key, but instead of feeling blessed, he felt cheated, betrayed of a better life, and a real father.
This time, Daryl didn't flee from the touch as the old man comfortingly put his hand on his shoulder, and his words weren't the solution, but perhaps the way to get there. "We can't change what happened. The people who made decisions for you aren't there anymore. The future … your future … is entirely in your own hands."
OOO
"Mom, are you alright? Where are you?" Sophia asked as they sat in the living room, watching a movie while Tara and Denise were out for dinner. Carol would have to leave for work soon, and she'd spent most of the movie lost in her own head.
"I'm watching the movie. What else would I be doing, sweetie?" Carol replied, a nervous smile gracing her flushed face. Honestly, Carol didn't even know what the movie was about. Her thoughts were solely with Daryl and she wanted to slap herself for her own stupidity. Why couldn't she just stop thinking about him? It was a constant struggle against the feelings she'd never wanted to allow, and certainly not with a client. She was almost sure she had never felt that way before. She could almost hear Ed's sarcastic laughter, mocking her with a nasty expression on his ugly face. Carol, you are so stupid it hurts!
"You hate the movie, I know. You pick the next one, okay?" Sophia had no idea what was going on with her mother. Although, the two were so close, the girl still hadn't figured out what her mother had been pondering on for weeks.
"I think I'm just a little tired. I don't sleep well during the day." Again, Carol wanted to roll her eyes at herself. Daryl had messed up a lot. Since that first night with him, she was tired at work and found little sleep during the day. Thank you so much!
"Is it because of dad? Did he contact you again?" The worry on Sophia's freckled face grew.
"No, don't worry. He hasn't been in touch," Carol calmed her daughter.
"But you're still not over it, right? I mean, you are over him … but not over how it was with him. After all these years there's never been anyone else. Or did you just not tell me?" Sophia would be glad if her mother had someone, because often she sensed her mom was lonely despite her many friends.
Sophia was more than okay with the thought of another man at her mother's side, a fact she'd made clear to Carol numerous times, and the small smile on the girl's lips made this clear once more. Sophia knew her mother would never again let a man hurt her. What the girl also sensed was that Carol had let no man at all come closer, even though perhaps she'd wanted to.
"I have you, Tara and Denise, and my job," she replied as she tousled her daughter's hair, a gesture Sophia was almost too old for. Her eyes narrowed, but she couldn't help grinning at her mom. "What else could I possibly need right now?"
"I don't want a new father, don't get me wrong, but -"
"Maybe someday, when I'm ready and the right one comes along." However, the moment the words left Carol's mouth, she realized she might have already met the right one as her thoughts wandered back to Daryl, though the circumstances under which they'd met had been more than strange. She felt it couldn't go on like this and clarification needed to be made. Was he perhaps the one who was worthy to open her heart again … to try it?
OOO
This bed was Carol's safe haven, the place where she was closest to him. He'd come back and this time it had been no surprise. The way he'd said goodbye to her the last time had felt like a promise he would come back.
Again, the passion had been unrestrained when they'd reached the room, and again, it had become gentle and slow once the hottest flames had been extinguished. Whenever Carol thought he couldn't get any closer to her, another layer of trust and warmth flooded her heart, a sweet ache which scared her, and yet she couldn't get enough of it.
He'd been startled at first, wondering if she'd really wanted to do that, but she had given him no chance to doubt when she'd started using her mouth not only for kissing his lips. Her tongue and lips touching him there had set his entire body ablaze, another new experience whose mere memory would make him hard again later, longing for more when he wouldn't be with her anymore.
At first gently and then tightly her lips had encircled his throbbing hardness before she'd taken him deeper and deeper. Her azures had observed him from time to time, watching how the color of his steel-blue eyes had steadily grown darker as his pupils had widened until he'd closed his eyes in ecstasy.
Now she was lying on her stomach and yet cuddled up to him as he drew a map on her back with his fingertips, his body half covering hers protectively as he kissed her shoulder.
"Will I see you again next week?" she whispered as she realized they were running out of time, and they were about to leave the bed, the bed which had become their own little universe by now, safe and comfortable. As so often, they lay close together in the middle, as if the misery was lurking on the edges, the danger approaching as they would come closer to the ledge. She didn't want to leave the bed and yet wanted to know how it would be outside the bed with him … if they had a chance there.
"I don't know, I ... I'm running out of money. I can't come here as often anymore," he lied. The last few days, Daryl had considered how he could break the cycle. He now had enough money and could come here a few more times and pay for her time and closeness, but the more he'd thought about it, the more he'd realized this wasn't everything he wanted. But he had to make sure he wouldn't destroy what they had if he went too far. What if she didn't feel the same? So, he lied about the money, hoping to tease a reaction from her which could lead to more, outside the bed, even though he didn't know if it would work. All Daryl knew was he wanted to spend more time with her.
Carol couldn't hide her disappointment. Even the time between his last visits had been too long. How could she cope if these eternities would lengthen even more? "I'm here ... whenever you come back," she promised and then she moved, making him turn away so she could lay on her side. She wanted to look him in the eye.
"And I'll ... I'll come back," he replied, his voice stained with sadness.
Taking a deep breath, she knew her words wouldn't leave her mouth without consequences. "Do you pay me because you see me as a hooker, or because you ... because you want to spend time with me?" It had taken every ounce of her courage to ask him that, but she just had to know. All or nothing. If she had scared him, he wouldn't come back, but better a sad ending than a never-ending sadness every time he'd leave.
"Ya ain't ... gawd! That word ... that ain't you, not for me!" Panic crept into his body, his muscles tense as the truth gushed out of him. Did he fuck it up? But her tender hand, which slowly covered his cheek, calmed him immediately.
"Do you just want to have sex with me or do you want to spend time with me outside the bed?" It was exactly what she wanted to ask all the time, and the way she could read him at the moment, she knew he wanted to be asked.
"Everywhere ... hell! Not the sex, I mean -" a giggle reached his ears and her beautiful smile made his heart beat even faster. Her smiling lips covered his and the little distance which had built up during their weird conversation was broken.
"Do you want to have dinner with me tomorrow?" she asked after releasing his lips from their tender kiss.
He nodded but his expression was fraught with worry. "Ain't good at this stuff ... this dating thing. You'll have to teach me."
"I don't have to, just like I didn't have to teach you anything here," she replied with a mischievous grin.
"But I didn't have a clue. Ya taught me everythin'! I don't know if I can be what ya want ... what ya need, I -"
Before Daryl could say more, she smothered his words with her fingers covering his lips. "I didn't teach you anything. You discovered everything yourself. I just encouraged you to do what you feel and that's exactly what I want when we spend more time together. I want you to do what you feel. I don't want someone who's doing things because those things worked with other women, or because you think I'm expecting it. I want someone who is genuine, Daryl. I ... I like you the way you are!"
Daryl Dixon grinned like an idiot, but still couldn't believe his sorry ass would have a chance with her. "But, just remember ... I liked ya first!"
"That's why you came back!"
A teasing smirk curved his lips, but there was still a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. "Are ya really sure this is what ya want?"
"Of course, I am! So ... tomorrow at eight?"
"Tomorrow at eight!"
He'd had nothing when he'd come to Nevada and now he had a house, a job he really liked, and a date with the most wonderful woman he'd ever met. If someone had told him a few weeks ago he would've called that person insane. For the first time, life had given him a royal flush and instead of being afraid he'd fuck it up, he allowed himself to be optimistic, taking the chance to make a better life.
OOO
Chapter end notes: It was so much fun to write! Let me know what you think!
Special thanks to CharlotteAshmore for her edit and for being so amazing!
