Chapter 7
An hour later Jack and River strolled back into the camp they had made around the remains of Serenity; they were holding hands and soaking wet. Kaylee was sitting next to the fire they had burning in the camp and smiled when she saw the two of them.
"Hey you two fall into the stream or something?" she teased.
"Or something." River replied. "Jack your clean shirts are hanging up on a branch right behind the port side."
"How did you know I wanted a clean…Oh yeah." He stammered and gazed at his wife.
"This mind reading thing is going to take awhile to get used to." he said and headed off in search of a clean shirt.
"So I take it ya told him about everything then huh?" Kaylee asked as they watched Jack walk off.
"Yes, I wish I had listened to all of you when you told me to do it sooner, he was so understanding about everything, I can't believe it." River said sitting down next to her sister-in-law.
"Well for a genius you can sure be kinda dumb sometimes, I mean he loves ya." Kaylee said and leaned her head onto River's arm. River put her arm around Kaylee and gave her a hug.
"What about you are you doing ok, the baby and everything?" River asked.
"We're both doin fine. Simons all kinds of worked up cause he don't have his equipment to check on me, but I feel fine and the baby's still kicking all the time, like right now for instance." She answered and groaned as she rubbed her stomach.
River smiled and put her hand on Kaylee's stomach to feel the small but strong kicks of her niece. She took a deep breath and concentrated on centering her mind on the baby's. Kaylee knew she was reading because of the faraway look River got on her face. After a few seconds River smiled and took her hand off Kaylee's stomach.
"The baby's doing fine, in fact I think she likes the fresh air here." River said and then realized her mistake and clapped a hand over her mouth.
"Wait did you just say she?" Kaylee asked excitedly. "I'm havin a girl?"
"Oh Kaylee I'm so sorry I didn't mean to give it away." River exclaimed and jumped up. Kaylee didn't seem to hear her apology though, she had her hand on her stomach and an enormous grin on her face.
"I really am so sorry Kaylee I know you wanted it to be a surprise and I ruined it." River continued. Kaylee looked up at River and gave her an even wider smile.
"River its ok, don't worry about it. I just found out I'm havin a little girl, how can I be upset about that? How long have you known it's a girl?"
"Since the day you got pregnant I knew it was going to be a girl, I also know what you're going to name her but I'm definitely not giving that away, I hope." She said and smiled.
Kaylee lost her smile at this point and struggled to get to her feet, River helped her up and Kaylee pulled her into a hug.
"It must be really hard knowin things all the time and not telling anyone so that you don't ruin things for them. That's a really big burden to carry with ya all the time." Kaylee said into River's hair as she hugged her tighter.
"Its not pleasant, but you know it isn't completely without its advantages. Sometimes its nice knowing things before they happen, I just wish I could control it better. I mean if I could maybe I could have kept us from getting stuck on this rock."
"Hey if it wasn't for you taking off when you did we would all be dead right now, so don't go blaming yourself, you didn't make us land here or cause the explosion." Kaylee replied and let River go.
"Come one lets go see what kind of trouble our husbands are getting themselves into." Kaylee said and again gave River a bright wide smile.
On the other side of the ship Jack found his shirts stretched out on a piece of wire that had been stretched between two trees. He had just finished changing when Simon walked up to him.
"So Jack did River um…talk to you yet?" Simon asked trying to sound casual but failing miserably.
"Don't worry Simon she told me everything Jack replied.
Simon stood uncomfortably behind the larger man for a minute before he said, "And are you two alright? I mean do you… are you mad at her?"
Jack turned and looked at his brother-in-law and gave him a sad look.
"You know part of me really wants to be mad at her for not telling me, but I love her and I know she had her reasons for keepin quiet. Plus I think part of me always knew that somethin going on."
"What do you mean part of you knew?" Simon asked.
"Just little things; she seemed to always know how I was feeling if I was upset she knew why before I even told her, and she's so damn good at fightin and with a gun, and then there's the nightmares." Jack said.
"What do you mean nightmares? She told me she wasn't having them any longer."
"I don't think she knows she's having nightmares, she never talks about them in the morning, but she tosses and turns almost every night; mutters stuff about hands of blue a lot. I never knew what any of it meant but seemed to me she was remembering something really bad." Jack explained to the worried doctor. "It musta been really bad in that Academy for her, right Doc?" He asked.
Simon thought for a minute and then answered, "She never really talks about the Academy at least not in specific detail, but yes from what I've gotten out of her over the last two years I'd say that they put her through just about every mental form of torture you can subject a human to. It seems like in order for them to make her psychic powers stronger they had to destroy the way her brain worked and forced it to work in a new way. I think they did that by breaking her mind as much as possible and then rebuilding it the way they wanted. Unfortunately for her they weren't as good at that as they'd hoped they'd be. When I snuck her out of the hospital the doctor in charge of her case told me that they had known the neural stripping would cause schizophrenia but they did it anyway. River wasn't just a student; she was their success, their prodigy and anything they had to do to make her more powerful they did, no matter what the cost to her. The drugs I have her on have replaced those broken portions of her brain and now without it, well in a few days you'll see just how badly they did break her." Simon turned and left and Jack thought about how Simon was able to always make the situation seem worse than it usually was.
The next three days were surprisingly pleasant for the crew. Although they were stuck on a moon without rescue in sight they were planet side for the first time in months and between Jayne, Mal, Zoe, and River's skills with a gun they actually had fresh deer meat to eat. The wreck of the ship began to take on the look of a camp and lucky for them it was summer on the moon so they weren't cold even at night.
Kaylee and Jack continued to work on rebuilding the engine, but several key parts had been completely blown up and it didn't look like they were going to be able to get Serenity powered up with what they had.
Jack watched his wife carefully everyday waiting for some sign that she was going insane, but so far she seemed to be the same smart and funny River he had always known. He began to think that the warnings of the crew were exaggerated or perhaps her brain had healed itself in the time since she'd started the medication.
Now that he knew her secret he was beginning to see sides to her that she had previously kept hidden. Once Jayne found out that Jack knew about her he made sure to pull him aside and show him the long scar running down his chest, which Jayne claimed was from a butcher knife River had attacked him with. Jack hadn't believed that story until River confirmed that it was true but said that she had good reason for what she did. Jack asked what the reason was, but River refused to tell him and said that he should ask his brother about his part in the Ariel job if he wanted to know. Jack had questioned Jayne about it, but he had claimed it was in the past and he didn't want to talk about it; he had then walked off to clean Vera, which had been his only gun to survive the crash because he had had her with them for the job.
The sixth night on the moon found everyone sitting around their campfire after dinner, everyone was enjoying being able to relax outside with actual fresh air.
Suddenly River stood up and glanced around frantically and shouted, "They said it had to look like and accident, rifts in the ground, seismic instability!" She then stopped and seemed to realize where she was and turned red with embarrassment. "I'm sorry I… I don't know." She trailed off not knowing how to explain. Everyone nodded understandingly except for Mal.
"Wait a minute what do you mean they said it had to look like an accident? You mean the explosion someone set that up on purpose? Who was it?" He asked and grabbed her shoulders to look into her face.
River looked pained and shook her head. "I'm sorry Captain I don't know, it just popped out of my mouth I don't know what it meant. If I figure anything out you'll be the first one I tell."
The Captain thought on this for a moment and then said, "Well you make sure and do that."
River walked away to the edge of the camp and turned so that she was facing away from everyone.
Jack walked up behind her and put a hand comfortingly on her shoulder. "So is that what you meant? Is it starting?" He asked.
River sighed and leaned into her husband so that his arms could wrap around her.
"Yes I think maybe it is." She said quietly.
"Well that wasn't so bad." He added brightly.
"It's going to get worse." She replied and walked away towards Serenity.
