Date Night #8

Alex needed a break from pondering and talking and apparently so did Jo. So when they returned to the loft, after their date at a bowling alley, they let their bodies do the talking. Only this time they went inside, before the started making out.

As much as Alex enjoyed kissing and caressing Jo's skin, and feeling her touch in return, he had not expected her to want to go all the way. As she started to unbuckle his pants, he made a step back, uncertainly rubbing his neck. "Listen Jo, I..."

Jo grabbed the hem of her shirt, pulled it over her head, then dropped it on the floor. Alex stopped dead in his tracks, while Jo went on to peel off her jeans as well. Once she was done, she shot him a challenging look as if she wanted to ask: Do you really want to ruin this with talking right now? Amused, Alex shook his head. Jo just knew how to get him. Her body was stunning to say the least, slender, but with curves in all the right places. He'd never been able to resist her and he certainly wouldn't be able today. Judging by the sassy grin that appeared on Jo's face as she watched him watch her, she knew it too.

She threw herself into his arms again, her kisses deep and passionate. Alex took off his shirt and pants, then started to push Jo towards the bed. They fell onto the mattress, got rid of their underwear and suddenly it was just them in their purest form, her body responding to his and his to hers in perfect harmony as if all the months apart had never happened.

This past week Alex had harbored so many doubts; constantly wondering whether what he and Jo were doing was right and whether he was still the right man for her. But what they were doing now felt so right, so natural, he didn't allow it to be destroyed by his doubts. He'd missed Jo - and sleeping with her - so goddamn much, one of these days he might have combusted because of the ever present yearning inside of him.

Alex stayed the night, feeling too tired and comfy snuggled against Jo, to even think about getting behind a steering wheel to drive home in the middle of the night.


Date Night #9

This Friday night did not end according to Jo and Alex's dating plans. The two surgeons had just finished their shift at the hospital and were about to leave, excited to spend the evening together, when they got detained by an emergency. It was a bus accident with about a dozen major casualties, that required all hands on deck. Both their respective surgeries went well, but once they were done, it was too late to go out. Alex still insisted on bringing Jo home. Too exhausted from saving lives to do anything else, they went straight to bed and fell asleep in each others arms.

The next morning Jo woke up early, which was aggravating, considering she had the morning off and could have slept in. Alex lay beside her and was doing just that - sleeping in. Jo snorted. If only she shared his ability to sleep like a log. Then again, maybe she could do something about that? With a mischievous grin she leaned over him and pecked his cheek. However, there was no reaction. She tried again. And again. But there was no use, he just wouldn't wake up. Sulkily, Jo pouted her lips. Sleeping Beauty's got nothing on Alex Karev, she thought, as she drew back the comforter and got up.

In the bathroom she squirted toothpaste on her toothbrush. With her toothbrush sticking out her mouth, she walked around the kitchen to check if she had enough stuff around to make breakfast. A look into the fridge revealed that the only things she had left were a piece of butter, two eggs and some leftover lunchmeat. She groaned, set up the coffee maker and went back to the bathroom to clean her face.

Back in the kitchen, she poured the coffee into two mugs, when her eyes got caught by the bottle of vodka on the counter. She'd bought this bottle for the bad days. She'd never needed it, not all of it anyways, but to claim she was doing great now, would have been untrue. Telling Alex about her past had not magically changed everything for Jo. It wasn't like she was feeling better all of a sudden, just because she'd let someone in on her misery.

Before the night at the bar, where she'd told Andrew about being married, Paul Stadler had lived in a tiny box, stored away in the rearmost corner of Jo's mind. He was like her own personal Jack-in-the-box toy that came straight out of a nightmare. She'd never dared to turn the crank to let him out. Over the years Jo had almost convinced herself that that part of her life had never existed to begin with.

The bruises, the broken bones, the black eyes, the tears, the fear - Jo had never allowed herself to dive too deep into any of it. She'd left it behind like she'd left Paul behind. But there was no denying anymore. The pain was real and so was he. Legally she was still tied to Paul. And she always would be, unless she found the courage to deal with him face to face. But that was dangerous and seemed impossible to her. At least for now, maybe forever.

Nevertheless, Jo didn't regret telling Alex about Paul. There had always been lots of secrets in her life, lots of lies too. Things she couldn't tell, because she was ashamed. Things she couldn't tell, because she was scared. Now Alex knew all those things. And although there was still the old familiar fear lurking in the back of her mind, a voice telling her it would have been safer to stay quiet forever, she was glad Alex knew. Now there was no canyon between them anymore. He knew her through and through. And if there ever was one person on this planet with whom she wanted to share everything, it was definitely Alex.

Jo knew, though, what she had told him was eating at him. Or at least something was. He didn't tell her and she didn't ask. They'd taken a much needed break from talking about all the serious stuff for now. Instead they rediscovered their old levity. They joked around and just had fun together. And they had sex, lots of sex. At least that's what they did after the bowling date. They'd had off the whole weekend and spent most of it in bed.

Since it was early, they still had a few hours to repeat last weeks activities. But first Jo had to find a way to wake Alex up. Armed with two steaming hot cups of coffee she shuffled back to their bed. She put down one cup on her nightstand, then went around the bed to Alex's side and held the cup close to his face. "Wake up," she whispered, blowing the coffee steam in his direction. A moment later, he actually opened his eyes. "Hey," he murmured, squinting at her somewhat dumbfounded.

Jo couldn't help but be a little bit offended that the sleeping log seemed to be immune to her kisses, but not to the aroma to freshly brewed java. "Good morning," she said, putting on her sweetest fake smile. "I made you coffee." She climbed over him and as she slipped under the cozy covers, she pressed her feet, freezing cold from walking around the apartment barefoot, against his warm legs. Revenge is a dish best served cold, after all.

Alex winced, but refrained from complaining. "You know, I could get used to this?"

"What? My cold feet against your calves?" Jo asked innocently.

Alex laughed. "No, having you next to me, when I wake up." He leaned forward and kissed her lovingly. "How about I move back in?"

This proposition took Jo by utter surprise. "What?"

"I don't want this... us... to be just a weekend thing anymore," Alex explained. "I wanna move back in. I wanna come home."

Jo inhaled deeply. She had no idea how she should respond to that.

"Jo? Don't you want to say something?"

"Yeah... I... uh... I'm not... it's just..." She took another deep breath. "I don't think that's a good idea," she finally said, her voice calm and steady. A straight-forward, honest approach was probably best in this case.

"Why not?" Alex demanded. His jaw was set hard and by the look in his eyes she could tell that she had hurt his feelings.

"It's too soon, Alex. I thought we were taking it slow. There's still so much we have to figure out, so much we haven't talked about. Like the whole marriage thing. You want that so badly, but it's not something I can give you. Ever. Can you accept that? Do you still want to spend your life with me, even if we can never get married? If I can never give you that?"

Alex narrowed his eyes. "Why are you saying this like it's something you have to give me? It was never about that. It was something I wanted to share with you. It was about commitment, about..." He trailed off as anger built up and his voice got louder. Furiously shaking his head he broke away from Jo.

Hunched over, he perched at the edge of the bed and wiped his fingers over his forehead in frustration. Ironically he was now facing the empty storage organizer where his clothes used to be. Jo knew it had to sting to be reminded that, these days, he was just a visitor in this place.

"It was supposed to be a freaking promise, goddamnit." Alex muttered. "It was about you and me."

"The last time we talked about this, it sounded very different," Jo pointed out.

Alex flashed a glare at her over his shoulder. "The last time we talked about this I was hurt and upset," he huffed.

Jo moved closer and put a hand on his back. Alex flinched slightly as her palm met his bare skin. "Hurt and upset like right now?" she asked him softly.

"Kinda," Alex shrugged. "No, screw it." He rubbed his hands across his face, then ran them through his hair. "I'm not upset. And I don't wanna fight. Least of all about this, because I swear, I'm over it."

"Over what?"

"Weddings, marriage, whatever... the whole thing. I don't need it and I don't know why I ever wanted it. This whole stupid tradition about exchanging rings and manufactured vows, it's worth crap. It never works out anyways. My first marriage lasted about ten months and we spent most of that time separated. And just look at everyone else. Torres and Robbins are divorced, so are Kepner and Avery. Shepherd and Hunt started fighting about five minutes after they tied the knot." He shook his head. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"That sounds awfully cynical, even for you." Jo looped her arms around Alex's neck and pressed her cheek against his. "I hate playing a part in making you more cynical."

Alex leaned back against her and stroked her arms. "Believe me, you're really just a side character in that story."

Jo scrunched her face. "But still..."

Alex turned around and his eyes met hers. Any trace of anger had disappeared, he just seemed sad now. "You know what I hate? That you got hurt and I played a big part in that. Because really, you are the last person I ever want to cause any pain. But I know I did and... I'm sorry."

Jo frowned. "What are you talking about exactly?"

"Well, everything. Like what happened w- I mean, what I did to DeLuca. I'm sorry you had to witness that. And I'm sorry I freaked out and beat him up."

"You need to tell that to Andrew, not to me."

"I did, but now I need to know what you think."

Jo lowered her head, a motion that made her messy hair fall into her face. She combed the strands back with her fingers and glanced up. "It certainly wasn't your finest hour, but I don't dwell on it, if that's what you're afraid of?"

Alex arched his eyebrows at her in a way that made it clear he didn't believe a word she was saying.

"Fine, I couldn't sleep in the loft for a few days afterwards. And I stopped running around and sleeping naked."

His mouth curved up in a wry smile. "I noticed."

"Yeah, I had to learn that that sort of thing can lead to ugly misunderstandings." Self-deprecatingly she rolled her eyes. "But really, that's it."

Alex nodded slightly, but he still didn't seem entirely convinced. "It's just.. sometimes I'm not sure anymore, if I'm the right... if I'm good for you. Especially now that I know what you went through."

Jo almost had to laugh at that unexpected twist. Five minutes ago he'd wanted to move in with her, now he sounded like he wanted to break up - to protect her, which was pretty much the stupidest reason she could think of.

"Alex, I love you and I want to be with you. Have I not made that clear by now?"

"Yeah, but... what we want and what's good for us can be two very different things," Alex pointed out.

"Okay, listen to me." Jo cupped Alex's face in her hands and looked straight into his eyes. "When I married Paul I was a lonely, insecure 19-year old homeless girl, but I am not that girl anymore. I'm a grown woman, I'm a surgeon, I own an apartment and right now I have my life in order. Well, as much as that's possible with a crazy ex on the loose, who could hunt me down any day," she added dryly. "I need you to trust my judgment, when I say you are what I want and what I need and what's good for me." To reinforce her words she breathed a tender kiss against his lips.

"Everything alright?" she asked, when she drew back.

"I'm fine."

Jo shot him a skeptical look. He still seemed glum and way too serious. "Really? 'Cause I think your face didn't get the memo." Using both sets of fingers she pushed the corners of his mouth upwards. "This is what happy looks like," she informed him. Her fingers gently pulled his mouth down. "This is sad. But we want happy." She pushed the corners up again. Then, just because she was feeling silly, she smushed his cheeks together. "That's... uh... a fish face, but a happy fish face," she added pointedly.

Alex laughed and freed himself from her tugging and squeezing little fingers. "You know you're ridiculous, don't you?" he whispered.

Jo circled her legs around his waist and her arms around his shoulders. "I'm doing my best," she shrugged, which made them both laugh.

They kissed each other and laughed and eventually dropped back onto the bed. As they were rolling around in their crumpled sheets, Alex started to attack Jo's neck with quick little tickling kisses. She pretended to fight him off, but she couldn't stop laughing and neither could he and they enjoyed every second of it. It was so fulfilling to feel Alex's body against hers, even though they were only fooling around in a more or less innocent way.

Once they were done with their playful wrestling, they huddled together to catch their breaths. Resting her head on Alex's chest, Jo listened to the steady but intense pounding of his heart. Absentmindedly she started fumbling with Alex's hands. She laced her fingers through his, traced the back of his hands, tickled his palms, then tightly intertwined her fingers with his again.

"By the way, what did you do with the ring?" Alex asked.

"I pawned it," Jo said deadpan.

"You did, huh? Well, I hope you got good money for it."

"Oh, I did, no worries. I invested it wisely too, bought some really expensive shoes and stuff." She cackled and sat up. "No, the ring is right here..." Bending over Alex, she began to rummage in his bedside drawer and retrieved a little box. "...in the drawer, where it always has been."

Without thinking too much about it, Jo opened the velvet box and slipped the sparkling engagement ring on her finger. For a moment she just stared at it, almost mesmerized. She wiggled her fingers, a movement that made the ring twinkle even more.

"It's beautiful," she said, a tinge of wistfulness corrupting her voice. Alex had made such an effort picking this ring and she'd never gotten to appreciate it fully.

Suddenly an image flashed in front of her eyes. She saw herself as she was walking down an aisle, wearing a stunning white wedding dress. At the end of that aisle, Alex was waiting for her, a warm smile lighting up his features as he watched her walk towards him.

"Hey, are you done staring at that rock soon?" Alex asked, softly prodding her in the ribs.

His voice brought Jo back to reality and made the corny daydream dissipate. Quickly she took the ring off and put it back into the drawer. "Yeah, I'm all done." When she lay wrapped in Alex's arms again, she drew out a shaky breath to get rid of the heaviness that had taken hold of her chest.

Gently, Alex started grazing her arm with his fingertips, drawing random patterns on her skin. "Jo?"

"Hm?"

"Would uh... would you have said yes to my proposal, if things were different? I mean, I know we had other stuff going on too, but... but eventually, would you have said yes?"

"Yeah." Jo's lips parted into a soft smile. "Of course I would have said yes. I would have loved to marry you." Her throat closed up and she felt the heaviness in her chest return as she thought of what she'd lost. Which was strange, because she'd never had it in the first place.

Once more Jo found herself playing the what if game. But this time it wasn't about bad things happening. Instead, she thought about how different her life could have been if good things had happened to her. What if she hadn't been abandoned at a fire station when she was a baby? What if she'd been taken in by loving parents and had had the chance to grow up as a happy child? What if she had not had to learn to fend for herself at an age where other girls played with Barbie dolls? What if she'd met Alex sooner? What if she'd never met Paul and never had to go through all that pain?

Tears sprang to her eyes, but Jo forced them back with a few rapid blinks of her eyes.

What did all that matter now? There was no point in losing herself in useless what ifs. The past was in the past and she couldn't change anything about it. What she needed to do was focus on the present. Right now, right here, she was happy. And she was with Alex. They were together and they were happy - in a way they hadn't been in a very long time. What more could she wish for?

Jo turned around and looked into Alex's brown eyes, long and intently. After everything they'd been through, he was still here, he was still with her. And she did not need a vow or a promise to know he was forever hers to have and to hold, hers to cherish, and hers to love.

God, what more could she wish for?

She started kissing him, pushed her tongue between his lips. Alex instantly reciprocated her hot, demanding kisses, holding her face in his hands, soon moving on to bury them in her hair. Impatiently they took off what little clothes they had on their bodies; boxers, panties, a Princeton T-shirt. There was no fooling around this time, barely any foreplay either. They were both more than ready and they knew exactly what they wanted. Jo rolled on her back and made room for Alex between her legs. As soon as she felt his mouth on hers again, she closed her eyes, and while she was holding on to the man she loved, she let go of everything else.


Author's Notes: Ladies and Gentlemen, this was the last chapter. I've finally finished a multi-chapter story, hurray! I feel pretty drained right now, but I'm also glad it's done.

I have to say I hate the mere thought of comparisons between Jo's husband and Alex, but at the same time I can't imagine that it wouldn't be on Alex's mind in one way or another, especially after what happened with DeLuca. So that's why I picked that topic up in the last two chapters.

I hope you could enjoy this story, even though the show is just one huge disappointment when it comes to Jolex these days. (Here's hoping that will finally change in s14.) I know the demand for Jolex fanfiction just isn't there right now, but since this is the last chapter maybe you still want to leave a comment or a review... or something.

Thank you so much for reading! :)