Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers: just my OC's & the plot.


AFTER THE STORM

Chapter 6: Issues

The beeping of the heart monitor was the first thing he heard. As he drifted back from the darkness, Ashley felt like he was floating in honey; a thick heavy sensation filled his skull and made him feel like he was three sizes too big...and then he remembered he was a human/cybertronian cyborg sphinx. '...Right...' he remembered. But as his consciousness slowly came back to life, the last thing he remembered was the fight, Shadowstar, his dad-

"-DAD!" he gasped in horror as he sat up in a panic, but was even more surprised when Deathshot and his cousins nearly jumped out of their skin/armor in alarm.

"ASHLEY?!" Danny gawked in astonishment.

"Danny? ..." Ashley looked around the room, "Wha-, where the hell am I?"

"You're in the med-bay youngling" Deathshot replied as he leaned down, "You've just been through surgery"

"Surgery?" Ashley echoed in confusion; he was about to ask why when suddenly he remembered everything. Looking down at his chest in horror, he pried open the body-cast and ripped off the bandages and dressings covering his injury; but to his amazement the wound was hardly noticeable, all but completely healed and there was barely any scar tissue, the indentation of surgical stitches was barely visible too.

"Wha-, you had a foot long stab wound there! How'd it heal so fast?" Tom gawked at the fading injury.

"I-, I don't know, I-"

"Perhaps I can explain?" Ratchet cut in as he entered the room with Perceptor in tow. "Forgive me if I couldn't inform you all earlier but I just completed the tests; and it would seem the surgery might not have been necessary"

Everyone glanced at each other in confusion.

"Come again?" Tom frowned

"I got stabbed in the side by a mentally-psychotic sphinx and I didn't need surgery?" Ashley gawked, "what's going on?"

Ratchet activated one of the computer terminals next to the birth, inserted a bot-sized data-drive into the device and activated a holographic image of the hemogon. "Before you went into surgery I took some hemogon to run some tests, so in the event there were complications with the procedure we had a good sample to clone from. But during the tests we discovered this..." the medic clicked a button on the terminal, and the various holographic hemogon cells started to vibrate and move around like a shoal of fish, moving in one general direction, and undergoing mitosis at an unbelievable rate: two cells became four, four into six, six into eight and so on and so on.

"Whoa..." Tom gasped

"What's it doing?" asked Ashley

"Replicating, in real time; we discovered that that the hemogon in your system replicates over fifty percent faster than ordinary human cells. Meaning you can heal much faster and more efficiently than other earth-based life forms" Perceptor replied

"When we discovered this we informed the human doctors and told them to take you out of surgery; but another scan of your systems revealed that the replication rate had been slowed to a crawl by the anesthetic's coma-inducing properties. The drugs shouldn't have affected the cellular activity of the hemogon but somehow it did: we've yet to study this further, but with the heightened replication virtually all but inactive there was nothing we could do except let the doctors carry on with their work, least it would've created more complications. It wasn't until you came out of surgery and your body underwent emergence that the cellular activity in the hemogon began to pick up again. That was over an hour ago" Ratchet explained

"So?-, I'm fine?" Ashley gawked

"It would seem so youngling" Perceptor shrugged; "We will have to conduct further tests of course, but had you not been administered the anesthesia, it's highly likely your injury would've completely healed within less than half the time of the surgery"

"And you only discovered this now?!" Tom exclaimed

"Why didn't you know this when you were running all those tests over a week ago?!" Ashley exclaimed in equal disbelief

"Because there were no tests to register the replication rate of your cells!" Ratchet shot back, "I wasn't going to take a laser-scalpel to you and cut you up just to find out if it were even a possibility! I'm a medic not a Decepticon scientist!"

"Look, this increased cellular replication only occurred when your body's pain receptors were stimulated, and since there were no tests that induced pain this fact went unaccounted for until now" Perceptor clarified. "We didn't miss it, we simply didn't know"

Deathshot regarded them with a skeptical look, before lightening up and agreeing: "Okay, but seriously, if something like this happens again-"

"-It won't" Ratchet stopped him there, "Now that we have the data we can put in place a new procedure in case something like this happens again"

"Yeah but what if-" Ashley didn't get to finish as the doors to the recovery ward slid open, and Optimus, Bishop, Morri, and his father walked in. "DAD!-" Ashley perked up as he flew off the birth and run up to him, John didn't hesitate and threw his arms around him as the twelve foot hybrid scooped him up in a hug.

"You're okay" John sighed in relief, "...I knew you would be"

"You're okay too, thank god" Ashley smiled as he put him down and dropped down on all fours. Pressing his head to his side and purring in content.

"What've you guys been up to? You've been gone over an hour" Tom asked as he, Danny and Deathshot approached.

"We've been in conference with Moshower and Galloway, on the subject of Shadowstar's future. As well as in discussion with Crystalwing and Portia on how to address the subject" Colonel Bishop stated. Suddenly the atmosphere in the room changed from relief to uneasiness, as the femme's name sent a pang of muted concern through Ashley's spine.

"And? What did you guys decide?" Ashley asked in a flat tone, being careful to hide his concern.

Optimus kneeled down closer to the humans and gazed at Ashley with a straightforward look: "Considering you were the victim in this incident, I thought it best to tell you first" he stated

"Okay" Ashley nodded, a little half-dubious about where this was going

"After careful consideration and thought; we have decided that Shadowstar will stay in the brig until she has been fully assessed by Portia, after which she will undergo compulsory psychiatric treatment and grief counseling: as will the rest of her family. She will remain in the brig for the duration of her treatment, and if she starts to shows signs of improvement she will be allowed out for certain periods or time with supervision"

Slightly taken aback, Ashley, Tom and Danny all glanced at one another in surprise; "Psychiatric treatment?" Danny echoed

"You object?" Prime asked

"No it's just-, it's the first time I've ever heard of a robot needing a shrink" he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "Kinda surreal"

"...You think she'll go for it?" Ashley asked

"She has no choice Ashley, it is either this or the brig indefinitely, and I fear her mental state will not improve with incarceration" Prime stated

"She's not evil" John added, "She's messed up and she needs help; proper help"

"I don't disagree with you on that..." Ashley said offhand as the memory of the fight came to mind, "But after what she did, I can't say I'm completely sure about this"

"That's okay" John laid a hand on his shoulder, "I don't blame you, all I ask is that you give her this chance; forgiveness doesn't have to come into it right now. Just give it time and let Portia and Crystalwing do what they can: After all, nothing tried nothing gained right?"

"Right..." Ashley sighed offhand, "But how're you gonna do this? Longrange and Coldbore are in the brig too, and their the last mechs she needs to see right now"

"I have already informed Prowl and Red Alert and they are making the necessary preparations as we speak; Shadowstar will be transferred to the brig as soon as she's cleared to leave the Black Solstus's med-bay" Bishop replied

"Wait-, What about Ravage? I overheard Eclipse and Moonshine earlier and Eclipse wanted to arrest Ravage for inciting the incident" Deathshot asked in concern

"We've already reviewed the security footage of the incident and we know Ravage was not to blame in this. I've ordered Eclipse to belay the arrest and to leave the matter with us" Prime stated

"Needless to say this has caused even more tension; as if what happened this morning was enough to deal with, now half the base if asking what the hell went on down there" Bishop stated in a deadpan tone,

"There's also another issue that sprang up because of this" Morri hesitated

"What? ..." Ashley pressed her

"After Crystalwing took you to the med-bay Acidwing, Blackmoon, Shiningstar and Sparklestar stayed behind to look after Shadowstar, until Ratchet or one of the other bots could take her to the Black Solstus. When they finally got some help and left, Tracks came along and found some of the hemogon you lost; and now practically everyone on the base has been asking about this 'weird blood-energon mix' and what it is" she explained

"WHAT!" the boys and guardian exclaimed in a panic.

"Don't remind me" Ratchet growled through his dental plates as he clenched his fists tightly

"Everyone is halfway between wondering what Perceptor's been up to with the chemistry set and worrying that we've got a new alien life-form in the quarantine block. We tried to implement control-plan 3 for the damage control but it's useless now; I'm sorry but the secret's out kid" Bishop explained

"We just spent the last three quarters of an hour keeping everyone out of the med-bay and making sure they didn't hang around" Perceptor added

"And up in the security hub everyone's been nagging Red Alert for details, which of course he doesn't know since we were the only ones who knew about this" Morri added

Ashley stood there, dazed as he tried to wrap his mind around all this; Deathshot however was more ticked off than anything else right now, "When I get my hands on that mech I'll-"

"You'll do nothing" Prime stated firmly, "I've already talked to Tracks on the matter and have reprimanded him as such. The issue is not to be dragged out, do you understand?"

"Yes sir..." the sniper huffed in annoyance, and made a mental note to have a 'privet chat' with the mech later.

"What else does everyone know?" Tom asked

"Only that the 'mix' came from Ashley and is not straight forward energon nor is it blood; it's enough to safely conclude he's not a techno-organic. Which makes it a real problem as trying to keep our mouths shut about it won't inspire much confidence in our honesty" Morri sighed

"Let them talk; the data on Ashley's 'cyber-suit' was meant to be secret for a reason; they won't get anything else" Deathshot stated, "And if anyone tries to press the subject they'll have take it up with me"

Sighing in a mix of annoyance and worry, Ashley rubbed his forehead as he tried to think: "Okay, so what're our options? Or what're my options for that matter"

Everyone looked at one another, and couldn't seem to find the right answer. "...I don't know son, for now you can keep your head down if you want and I'll ask everyone to leave you alone; give you some breathing space to try and work this out" Bishop offered

"But what if I have no choice? Do we tell them the results of those tests?" Ashley asked

"Absolutely not! That data could do some serious damage if it got leaked off the base, or worse, if the cons get wind of it and take an interest" Ratchet was quick to state

"Right right..." Ashley nodded as he tried to keep that fact in mind, "But what do we say? We lie and people are gonna find out one way or another, and with a family of telepaths living on the base that's hardly gonna fly at all; we tell the truth who knows what kinda crazy shit could go down? We can't get out of this either way. I'm not a cybertronian, a human or even a techno-organic, so what do I tell them?"

"...I don't know..." John sighed in regret, feeling at a loss that he couldn't say or do more. "For now, all we can do is try to deal with it as best we can, and pray someone like Galloway doesn't find out..."


Sometime later, elsewhere on the base:

"Okay, now when you aim, keep your arm steady, engage your weapon's software tracking mode and follow the trajectory through" Skywarp explained as Novastar aimed her wrist-gun at the target some twenty feet away, "And when you got it lined up, just shoot and-"

PEW-PEW!

Novastar fired the gun; hitting the edge of the target and blowing part of it clean off, looking at her failed marksmanship she huffed in frustration and slumped down on the rock behind her. "Ten out of ten, all misses" she sulked

"Yeah, but you actually hit the target this time, that's not bad!" Skywarp tried to assure her, but the sullen look on her face told him getting the target spot on was the last thing on her mind.

"What's up?" he sat down beside her, "Is it the distance? Cuz we can do the ten-footers again if you're not comfortable with midrange yet" he offered

"*sigh* it's not the targets, honest" she sighed, "It's-..." she hesitated

"What?"

Seeing the soft look of concern in his optics, she sighed as she held her head in her hands, and reluctantly let her vexed thoughts be voiced as she explained: "...It's everything: this whole day has been crazy enough without Longrange making trouble; now Shadowstar's suffered a mental breakdown and Ashley nearly died because of it. Crystalwing and her whole family are beside themselves, Mother's blaming herself for this, and Eclipse refuses to even try to help while Moonshine's left to try and keep everyone from totally loosing it...and all throughout, I don't know what to do?" she sulked

"Hey, it's not your responsibility to keep things in check, that's your uncle's job" Skywarp offered

"I know: this whole week's been a strain on him, but today? He didn't need any of this. I wish I could've done more"

"You are doing more! You're a big help to your sisters, to us and everyone, but your only one femme, you can't be everywhere at once" he offered, trying to sound encouraging.

"Actually I can" She stated softly

"Huh? What'd you mean?" the seeker raised an optic ridge

"Being a hacker I can be wherever I want, at different places at the same time" she explained

"Oh yeah, right; but don't you ever get boarded with it? Even a little? It just seems like such a drag, being ordered to do the same thing day in day out" the seeker asked in slight bemusement.

"Actually, it was more my choice than my mother's. Don't get me wrong I always tried to do my best in combat class; but-, being a solder? That was never 'me': it didn't feel like it was where I belonged you know? I was always more comfortable behind a computer or keeping tabs on the action from way off. Getting up close with the enemy, no matter how hard I tried I could never summon the brass bearings for it" she sighed woefully. "...Mother says that strength isn't all about brute force; strength comes in many forms, and what we lack in one we make up for in another. I always had a processor for learning code so being a hacker just seemed to be the logical option" she shrugged

"I'm guessing you and your sisters were quite the team back in the war: You the hacker, Moonshine the weapons designer and Eclipse the warrior, you must have been something fierce" Skywarp thought aloud

"Yeah, I guess that's how most people saw it" she though offhand in a downcast tone

"What do you mean?" he frowned in bemusement.

Novastar hesitated a little, "...The thing is we were never really a 'trine' as some would like to think; I mean we trained together and there were things we had, and still have in common as sisters. But as we grew older things changed, and we changed too..." she explained as she cast her optics out over the desert, and gazed at the distant mountains, "...Me and Moonshine were always together, and Eclipse was like mother many ways (even though she won't admit it), and just as good a warrior too; but over time she grew ...'Distant'"

"Distant how?"

"Hm, she wasn't as close to us as she used to be, and she's not been on good terms with mother for many years now"

"Why not?"

"It's-..." Novastar couldn't bring herself to say it, "...It's complicated; but basically, she believed mother was to blame for a-, mistake she made once: and even though me and Moonshine have long since forgiven her for it, Eclipse refuses to let it go: and every time mother tries to make amends or we try to talk to her about it, she just throws it back at us, and her"

"Geez..." Skywarp grimaced in strained uneasiness, "What was so bad that she held a grudge for so long?"

"I-...I'd rather not say..." Novastar turned away slightly, "But what can be said is that we've not been a family for a very long time. And sometimes, I just wish she could see the strain she's putting on us, on mother. She's been there for us all throughout our lives, keeping us safe, keeping us alive through the worst of the war. And she refuses to acknowledge any of it, that it never happened" she trembled as tears started to well in her optics

"Then why don't you stand up to her?"

"Because- ..." Novastar's face scrunched into a mix of shame and spark-breaking sadness as tears streamed down her face and she wrapped her arms around herself; Skywarp wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and let her lean into him as she sobbed for a few minutes before calming down enough to continue: "...Because I don't know how?" she wiped the tears from her optics, "...For as long as I could remember I could never seem to do anything right for her. I try to fly as her wing-mate but she said I was slow and weak; I try my best to fight and she said I was a coward and a useless runt: and when I covered her on missions via the infiltration network, she said I was a useless excuse for an Autobot...maybe that's why they all died?"

"What? Who all died?"

"The division...There were many of us once; the 9 was over ten thousand strong when mother and the first nine formed it back in the early days of the war. And little by little, as the eons passed and the fighting steadily grew worse, every year more of us were lost, until all that was left was us..." she paused to take a deep breath through her vents, "...Whenever someone offlined and it was on my watch, Eclipse would say it was always my fault, that I was hardly fit to watch over my Scrappy let alone a team of professional soldiers" she sobbed; at the mention of his name, Scrappy hopped to his feet from the boulder he'd been snoozing on and came bounding up to his mistress, snuggling into her side as she gingerly stroked him behind the ears. "...Maybe she was right? Maybe I'm not fit for anything? I can't even stand up for myself"

"Hey come on" Skywarp patted her on the shoulder, "That what you got me for remember?" he smiled, trying to encourage some positivity; "Yeah..." she sighed as she straightened up and wiped her face and optics, "These secret 'tutorials' of yours have been helpful. But I don't honestly think I'm making any progress, a whole week of target practice and this is the first time I actually hit the target, what does that say about me?"

"It say's you're hard work finally paid off! Pit even I didn't hit the target the first time I fired my weapon"

"You didn't?"

"Pit no! I missed the target completely and hit Starscream in his turbo booster; I tell ya, they don't call his Star-scream for nothing!" he grinned wickedly, "But seriously, just keep at it, I'm cutting you way more slack than I ever used to get. Didn't your mother ever used to teach you how to shoot?"

"Of course she did, she used to give me one on one lessons on account of my clumsiness; but even then I never seemed to get anything right" she sighed mournfully

"Hmmm? ..." Skywarp pondered for a moment, "Why do you think you can't get it? Tell me: what's the first thing that comes to mind when you try to take a shot? How do you focus?" he asked

"Umm? ..." Novastar tried to think, "...I'm not sure: I could never seem to focus because I would always hear Eclipse in the back of my mind telling me I'd miss"

"Okay that's a start...Um? Alright, what comes to mind when you try to be brave?" he asked

"When I try to be brave? ..." Novastar was a little taken aback, "...I...I don't know? ...I think, maybe? Mother, of all the femmes I've ever known I don't think there's anyone more braver"

"Okay, this is what I want you to do..." he stood up, gently pulled Novastar to her feet, and positioned her in front of the target. "Aim for that target, and think of something your mother would say; how would she tell you to do it?" he stated

"But-but I"

"Ah ah, no buts: Eclipse ain't here, she can't tell you what you can and can't do, she never had that right in the first place; just focus on the target and forget everything. Don't think, just shoot" he stated

'She never had that right in the first place' ...Those words echoed through Novastar's mind like rolling thunder; deep down something shifted in her spark, a sense of realization that dared to cry out in anguish and defy all the years of depression and worthlessness that made her the meek little femme she was. Novastar couldn't explain it, and in some way part of her was scared of it, but it filled her with something she'd never felt before: she couldn't describe it, nor put a name to it, but her instincts told her to fly with it, to let her embrace it, and fill her up with this new something, that right now was the guiding force of her hand as she took aim, and fired.

PEW-PEW!

This time, her shot was ten inches from the center of the target.

"Primus..." she breathed in flabbergasted astonishment, "I did it, I DID IT!" she exclaimed happily as she bounced up and down in excitement, "I actually hit the target!" She sang over and over in sheer delight. Skywarp said nothing as he let her have her moment, though he wasn't prepared for when she threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly, "Thank you" she sighed with great relief: before realizing what she was doing and pulled away in embarrassment, "Oh-, uh? Sorry about that, kinda got a little excited there-" she offered sheepishly as she shifted awkwardly on her feet.

"Uh yeah, quite-" Skywarp replied sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment (an unconscious habit he'd picked from the humans), trying not to make eye contact. "So uh? Listen, it's gonna be getting dark soon; how about we try to repeat that success and have a few more tries before we call it a day huh?" he offered.

"Defiantly!" Novastar beamed as she aimed again.

As he watched her shoot, Skywarp was thankful cybertronians couldn't blush, because if they did, he'd be redder than Sideswipe's aft right now.


Elsewhere:

"...I guess it could be way worse? ..." Sparklestar thought aloud, "What's a 'Si-key-hat-trick' treatment anyway?"

"Psychiatric" Shiningstar corrected, "It's a form of treatment that humans use to try and heal their minds when their sick or 'damaged'. Rather strange, considering their not telepathic by nature"

"I'm surprised John's willing to forgive her, after what happened he's the last person I expected to run to Shadow's defense" Obsidian thought aloud

"I sense he is aware her plight is not as straight forward as some would like to think..." Crystalwing said softly as she rubbed her helm, the strain of Shadowstar's absent bond had weighed particularly heavy on her over the last hour, and with her other creations bonds to balance out, she had to expended her abilities a lot more than usual. Now tired and mentally exhausted, her offspring stayed close, reaching out and offering a portion of their psychic strength to alleviate the strain on her mind and psyche as she tried to nap on her birth. "He is aware of her pain, and can relate in some way, though I don't know how?"

"How did he get her to talk to him like that anyway? She's never opened up like that before" Blackmoon pointed out

"He consented to let me 'see' his memory of the conversation; his instincts told him what would grab her attention the most"

"But how did he even know? We've been trying to get through to her ever since-, that day, and all of a sudden he concluded what she needed to hear that we could've offered? I don't understand?" the black and blue dragon drone despaired.

"Neither do I, and for the spark of me I can't figure out where I went wrong?" Crystalwing sighed sorrowfully as another pang of grief rippled through her mind; her creations minds all came closer and embraced her hurting emotions in a 'hug'.

"Please mother don't torture yourself like this" Acidwing sobbed as he curled up by her side, nuzzling his face into her armor, "I'm the one who lost control and started the fight, it should be me who get's punished"

"Now now my sweet-spark" Crystalwing picked him up and laid him on her chest plates in a warm cuddle, "Please don't do this to yourself, the fault was not yours" she soothed

"We're all to blame in this" Twilightveil cut in with a sad sigh, "And forgive me for sounding unsympathetic, but no amount of lament is going to help Shadow"

"You're right my dear" her mother nodded, "she needs us to be strong; we need to be strong if we're to help her find her way back"

"Yeah but how?" Sparklestar asked

"Maybe we-" Shiningstar paused when she sensed two familiar minds approaching their quarters, sensing them too, her siblings looked at one another in bemusement.

"Mother, do you sense them?" Obsidian asked

"Yes, go let them in sweet-spark" she asked; Obsidian got up and went to open the door where Morri and Ashley greeted him, and asked to come in. The mech showed them through to their mother's bedroom where she was lying down with Shiningstar, Sparklestar, Acidwing and Blackmoon curled up near her side, while Twilightveil and Obsidian were sat on a couple of chair's they'd dragged in from the other room.

"It is good to see you're well again youngling" Crystalwing greeted with a weak smile

"I take it dad told you?" Ashley asked as he scooped Morri up in his arms and jumped up onto the birth in one effortless leap, setting her down by the giant femme's head.

"Actually I sensed your mind coming around after your surgery; you healed much quicker than I thought?" she replied

"Yeah, about that..." he winced in uneasy hesitation, "This might be a stupid question for you, but did Tracks gossiping catch your ears sometime this evening?" he asked

"It did" Shiningstar sighed, "We can hear everybody's minds, practically everyone on the base knows about that weird red stuff that bled outta you earlier"

"What was that stuff anyway?" Sparklestar asked as she got up and sniffed Ashley's side where the (now completely healed and gone) injury had been.

"That's what we came to talk to you about" Morri stated

"You see? The thing is, technically I'm not a techno-organic" Ashley explained uncomfortably, "That red stuff that came outta me? It's called hemogon, organic human blood and energon fused together"

Everyone frowned in perplexed concern

"But-, Energon fries organic matter on contact; how can blood and energon fuse together?" Blackmoon asked

"Read our minds and find out for yourself" Morri stated, everyone blinked in surprise

"We figured we'd confide in you guys, considering your telepathic it would only be a matter of time before you found out the whole truth; and with that, we rather you hear it from us first than from someone or somewhere else" Ashley added

"Yes but a memory scan? Are you sure?" Twilightveil asked in concern

"I've had Ravage in my head before; you could say I have experience" Morri offered with a small smile.

"Well? If your sure younglings, all right..." Crystalwing sighed; both she and offspring's optics began to glow more intensely, and all at once everything seemed to go dark as time melted away and reality seemed to warp into something, or somewhere else.

Morri and Ashley stared off into space as they felt their bodies go limp and fade into a strange state of motionless as something gently caressed over their minds: like bird's feathers and satin, they felt a soft presence gently ooze into their memories like honey running off a slice of bread. And all at once the memories of how Ashley became what he was played back second for second; every detail and every moment was filtered out and replayed like a bad movie, all the while they felt like they were standing outside their bedrooms, and having to watch as someone was rummaging through all their personal stuff. This state of not being in control made their instincts scream out in horror, but another presence was quick to envelop their fears in a soft warm reassuring embrace, telling them it would be okay. As quickly as it began, they suddenly found themselves back in the room, right where they were, as if nothing had happened. Surprised to find they weren't as traumatized as they should be, the two cousins glanced at one another in confusion, and gazed around at the family, whose optics were now back to normal and gazing at them in a mix of shock, bewilderment, and amazement.

"That was...wow..." Sparklestar breathed

"He-, saved your life?" Obsidian blinked in surprise, "-By reprogramming the nanites?" Twilightveil added instinctively

"Yeah, pretty much..." Ashley sighed as he rubbed his head; making a mental note not to consent to that so eagerly next time.

"Now I know why Prime was so closely guarded about this; the implications of this are huge" Crystalwing blinked in surprise

"And no thanks to Tracks we don't know what to do now?" Morri replied, "If this gets out we could be in trouble, or attract trouble"

"Yes, I see what you mean..." Crystalwing said offhand as she sensed the notion of the Decepticons running through Morri's mind.

"So Shadow was right, you are different" Acidwing breathed in realization.

"If she'd known that beforehand, she'd have tried to kill you for sure" Shiningstar grimaced in horror.

"Or worse, if Longrange found out-" Acidwing suggested; the thought of it made everyone's train of thought stop in alarm; it didn't even bare thinking about.

"Damn good point" Blackmoon gulped, and everyone left the subject at that.

"But wait-," Twilight sensed Ashley's vexed thoughts, "You're still unsure about Shadow?"

"Well-," Ashley tried to find the right words, "Look, I get she's unstable and she needs help, I'm not making an issue of that fact; but trying to kill my dad, even in a fit of being 'not-in-control'? I can't help but doubt if she really was outta control, or that she tried to do that on purpose and use her mental state as an excuse...call it a hunch but something about the way she lost her temper like that just seemed too... 'convenient' somehow"

To anyone else the notion would've been too incredulous to even suggest, but as they sensed where Ashley's line of thought was coming from; the family could 'see' he was trying to put aside the emotion and drama of it all, and was focusing on the logic and sense of the situation; trying to see the bigger picture. And although she had not been witness to the incident, they could sense Morri was following a similar line of thinking. As a collective sense of agreement rippled down the bonds, Crystalwing sat up and gently placed the children on her lap.

"...What do you believe is at play in her mind?" she asked; the two cousins glanced at one another as they pondered the question: the process of their thinking buzzed and vibrated like excited atoms, giving off a strange mental impression as the creations all tried to 'listen in'.

After half a minute, Morri had something come to mind: "Moonshine told us about how bonds work, about how telepathic cybertronians form this 'hive mind' complex between each other as a family, and that it enables you all to stay connected"

"Correct" Crystalwing nodded

"She said the bonds are connected on a sub-conscious level, so that means technically you're not consciously aware of them all the time, but they're still there right?"

"Right" the femme replied

"Well it suddenly occurred to me; what if Shadowstar's mental state isn't just her grief alone, but a combination of all the grief you share collectively for your dad slash spark-mate?"

Everyone glanced at each other in confusion

"If you're minds are all connected sub-consciously: then it stands to reason your emotional states could manifest through each other...Crystalwing, you were there when he-, was killed, correct?"

"Y-yes" she nodded

"And you still carry a lot of guilt over that?"

"...Everyday" she sighed

"Then what if part of Shadowstar's grief is yours?" Morri suggested: the family snapped their heads up and stared at her in shock; Crystalwing was speechless.

"...If you're the dominant mind of the 'hive-mind', and your kids are the subordinates, it stands to reason that a fair portion of your subconsciousness would filter down to them..." she approached closer, now speaking in a softer voice, "...What if part of your unresolved guilt filtered down to Shadowstar's subconsciousness, and unintentionally manifested itself through her? What if it's not her that's angry at you, but yourself, trying to punish yourself for not saving your spark-mate? That coupled with Shadowstar's own guilt, could be the reason why she's been so unstable, and could be the reason why she sealed the bond off; not out of conscious spite, but her minds way of trying to protect itself from being overwhelmed" she explained: hoping and praying in the back of her mind she didn't just make things worse.

Crystalwing sat there, dazed, her mind reeling as she tried to comprehend this theory; down the bonds she could feel her creations minds shuddering and shifting in a horrible mix of dread and sorrow; what if this was the real cause of their sister's plight? What if they really were to blame for her unstable state of mind? As she tried to gather herself together, she couldn't help but let out a short sharp sob as the notion hit her like a kick in the face. "I-..." she tried to stay calm, "...Never considered this before, how could I-"

"No please, don't stress yourself; I could be wrong, it could be something entirely different-" Morri raised her hands up, gesturing to try and calm her down.

"Yeah, I mean-, it just seemed like the most likely scenario to fit the bill" Ashley offered.

"Listen-" Morri tried to grab her attention, the strength of her will made Crystalwing stop and listen, "I honestly didn't come here to make things worse and I sure as hell ain't saying that you're to blame for what happened. Look, when something bad happens the mind can pull off some pretty weird shit, and one of those things is not letting us forget, for some reason we punish ourselves for things we know we didn't do intentionally: out of guilt or otherwise, and that's not our fault (on our conscious part at least). But if (and I emphasize the 'if'), if this is the most likeliest cause of Shadowstar's condition, then you have an opportunity to resolve it"

Crystalwing looked at her for a long strained moment, and sighed in exhaustion... But suddenly, something made her jump slightly, snapping their heads towards the door, everyone was surprised to see Ravage and Portia standing there.

"Wha-, where the hell did you guys come from?!" Ashley gawked

"You left the door open, we let ourselves in" the panther said as he padded in and leapt up onto the birth next to Morri and Ashley; Portia approached with a sorry look on her face and sighed in an equally sorry tone.

"What's going on?" Obsidian asked as he read their initial thoughts, "You've been here the whole time?"

"Only since the younglings entered, we followed in after and I used a psychic screen to mask our presence. I'm sorry for the deception, but I felt it best she knew" he gestured to the spider-femme.

"You-, pretty much confirmed what I'd already suspected; I just wasn't sure how best to approach you on the subject" she offered

"Wait-, so Morri's theory was right?" Ashley blinked in surprise

"In as many words yes" Ravage replied, "And judging from your reactions, this hadn't come to mind before had it?"

"I didn't know-" Crystalwing hesitated as a fresh wave of grief rippled through her mind, "...-if it were possible-, if this is because of my unresolved grief, how could I not see it? Why didn't even occur to me?"

"Because you were not in a state to do so" Ravage offered softly, "Grief clouds clarity, and obscures the mind's optic from seeing what is true; your grief's manifestation through your creation is a part of your subconscious mind trying to bare the guilt of your spark-mates death. You tried to save him, you knew you should've saved him, and part of your psyche won't forgive yourself for that...What's done is done, lamenting in pity will not turn back time, but now that you know, you can move forward: providing you're willing to confront that which hinders you"

"...I will..." the femme sighed, "Even if it hurts, I have to do this for my daughter, for all of you" she glanced at her children.

"It is not just them you must do it for..." Ravage stated, "You must do this for yourself... learn to forgive yourself, and learn to let go of the pain; that's the only way you can all move on from this"

"And I'll be there to help you Crystal" Portia laid her clawed hand on Crystalwing's, "Every step of the way" she smiled

"Promise?"

"I promise"

As the two femmes talked, the siblings sensed a feeling of comfort filter through the bonds from their mother, and they all allowed themselves to feel a little better for it. Like having a thorn pulled from the skin, it was a relief as the pain of worry and dread turned to a comfortable sense of knowing they now had a sense of direction.

Sensing that it was time to let the family have this moment together, Morri and Ashley discreetly slipped away, quietly climbing down the side of the birth, tip-toeing across the floor and out the open door; no sooner had they left a familiar presence was at their backs, and Ravage crept up to next to their side.

"Well done younglings" he smiled, "And well done for not freaking out during the memory scan"

"That was beyond trippy" Ashley grimaced

"Okay, how long were you really listening in?" Morri drolled in a deadpan tone

"Long enough" the panther stated in a sweet tone

"I wondered where you'd gotten to when I woke up" Ashley said offhand

"I've been taking care of business, with Portia of course, and keeping my head down; not surprisingly half the base thinks I was the one who started the fight: Eclipse was not happy about it. And now I sense Tracks has been gossiping out of turn" Ravage drolled

"Yeah, he found some of the hemogon" Ashley sighed

"And you decided to confide in Crystalwing and her family, least they sense the truth and surmise their own conclusion?" he asked

Morri and Ashley glanced at each other, "It was better they heard it from us; and for what this day's event's been worth, treating them with any less regard wouldn't have felt right" Morri sighed

"Ditto" Ashley nodded, "But tell me, what Morri theorized: about Crystalwing's subconsciousness manifesting her grief through Shadowstar. What that really true? Of did you slip her a telepathic note or something?" he asked

"The theory was all Morri's idea, I merely watched back there..." Ravage stated, "But the theory itself is a very good one: if Crystalwing really is the unconscious catalyst behind her daughter's mental state, it could explain the inconsistency's in her anger"

"Anger for the sake of anger. If she was receiving her mother's subconscious guilt then it makes sense; all that rage and some part of her probably didn't know where it was coming from. Grief is different for everyone, it makes sense that manifests in different ways for telepaths too" Morri offered, "But with something like a hive-mind complex in place it also made sense that Crystalwing would be the likeliest cause"

"And all this time she-, they had no idea..." Ashley sighed, "Kinda sad when you think about it?"

"Yeah but that's- ..." Morri stopped with a surprised looked upon her face, and smiled with a weak chuckle.

"What ?" Ashley asked

"...I was just gonna say: 'that's human nature for you'..." she replied; at that, Ravage couldn't help but smile.

"Heh...probably not a bad slip of the vocalizer" he thought aloud, "But unconsciously thoughtful none the less" he carried on walking, "Come, I'm famished, let's go refuel"

"Now that you mention it I'm kinda hungry too, I think their serving steak in the mess tonight" Ashley smiled as dropped down on all fours and trotted ahead.


Later that evening:

There was a lot of cloud cover tonight, most unusual for the desert. Hardly any stars were visible as the thick clouds rolled overhead, and the fading twilight was shrouded in deep shades of blueish grey. As he sat alone with his thoughts atop one of the many ridge lines surrounding the base; Thundercracker let the cooling winds calm his nerve, the day had been long and tiring, and he was determined to have what was left of it to himself.

The sound of powerful ion engines stirred him from his musing and made him grumble something unflattering under his breath; if this was one of the twins or his wing-mate come to pester him he would whack them one over the helm; but instead, the sound of heavy footsteps told him it was someone else, and as he turned around, he was surprised to see Majestrix come up alongside him on the ridge.

"Oh, uh? I wasn't expecting you to be out here at this hour" he hesitated.

"I was hoping to see the stars, but it would seem they are not obliging tonight..." she mused aloud, "...Listen: I came to apologize for what happened today"

"That wasn't your fault; he had it coming" Thundercracker stated broodingly

"True, but I am his commander, I should've been there to stop him sooner" she stated

"You weren't to know: commander or not he still would've come looking for a fight" he replied

Silence

"...I'm curious..." the seeker thought aloud, "Why've you been hiding?"

"...Because..." she reluctantly forced herself to admit it, "...In some way I've grown to be wary"

"Of Longrange?"

"Of poor choices I made in the past that are now coming back to haunt me. Longrange was one of them... I don't fear him, it's what this war has done to him, and what I didn't do for him I regret" she sighed

"...What happened?"

"...My brother Megatron consumed my life, in more ways than one; and in my efforts to try and destroy him I nearly destroyed myself and the people I care for" she said bitterly, "...In many ways I wasn't so dissimilar to him; I try to tell myself otherwise and keep running away from it. But every time I do I'm always pulled back, and am made to be reminded that I was, and still am in the shadow of his legacy" she clenched her claws, and heaved a deep heavy sigh. "...It's a vicious cycle, and one I will probably never be totally free of; but for all its worth I want to make amends, and at try to make up for all those years I lost with Optimus"

Thundercracker thought a moment, before changing the subject slightly; "...You know? For what it's worth, you don't strike me as anything like him; Megatron I mean"

Majestrix looked at him a moment, before passing a light chuckle, "Hm, flattery won't get you far with me" she smiled

"No I'm serious" he stated

"She looked at him, slightly surprised, "...How come?"

"You have the one thing he never had"

"Which is?"

"Humiliation"

Majestrix studied him for along moment with her stone-like poker face, and then gazed up at the horizon with a distant look in her optics, "...He could never admit to his faults, even in defeat he was always a sore loser..." she thought aloud, "I think that's what delighted me about trying to bring him down; the more I chipped away at his power the more he had to back into a corner, and he never liked that...There was time once a day didn't go by where I didn't think of bringing my wrath down on him, to make him suffer for all the evil he brought upon us and our world. To rip, burn and make him bleed for every death: and then-...end him..." she let her gaze drop. "...But for all my wanting to kill him, I realized that if I let myself go down that path...I would never come back..."

"So you chose life over him"

"I chose my daughters over him; they saved me, more than they'll ever know, and one day I hope to tell them that"

"Why don't you tell them now?"

Majestrix pondered a moment, "...Good point..."

"Why did you recruit Longrange anyway?"

"Like I said, he was one of many poor choices I made. When I helped to establish the 9 I wanted troops who hated Megatron as much as I did, that would be willing to go to any lengths to see him defeated. Now, there's not a day goes by I regret being that vengeful hate-filled femme, and am haunted by how much damage I did. And the real irony of it? Bots like him were ones I kept my daughters hidden from, because if they discovered my identity, and discovered their connection to me, I dread to think what they would've done to them"

"Yeah but-, you could lay a whole army to waste if you wanted to: what's a handful of mechs like him gonna do?"

"...It's not that simple: as today clearly demonstrated" she sighed

"Yeah, but even so, if you've been hiding all this time and he's never seen you in action, he's got no idea you'd mop the floor with him"

Suddenly, an idea began to form in the back of Majestrix's mind, and with a knowing smiled, she turned to head back for the base

"You know, there might be an idea in there" she offered as she waved him good bye, "...Thank you"

Thundercracker stared at her in confusion, "...What did I say?" he thought aloud

Peering out from a small crack in a cluster of boulders nearby; Ratbat watched the femme curiously as she strode away, before crawling out and flying off back to the base; being sure to head for the surface opening of the air vents.


Elsewhere, down in the rec-room:

"Man I'm bushed" Glen sighed as he tried to stay awake.

"You're telling me?" Darren glanced at him, "I've had a ton of forms to fill out and confirm with Red Alert, and that mech's been in a mood all afternoon, no thanks to Longrange and Tracks"

"No to mention Shadowstar tried to bite my head off, literally" Mikaela sighed as she rested her head on Sam's shoulder

"And not forgetting the prep-work to turn part of the brig into a shrink ward" Miles yawned, "Uuugh, after all this shit today it better be worth it" he grumbled as he dozed off on the couch

"Hey guys" Ashley greeted as he strode in with his cousins and sat down next to the others on the couches and giant bean-bags.

"Yo dude" Miles yawned again, "Sorry about what happened" he offered

"It's okay" Ashley waved off, "What's done is done I guess"

"Even so, it still ain't cool" the blond teen sighed as he finally dropped off

"Maybe we should ask Prowl to implement a 'no gossiping' policy for the base?" Sam thought aloud.

"Yeah, but people still talk regardless, they'd just find other more secret places to do it in" Mikaela pointed out

"That's true..." Sam sighed

"Look, I'll be fine guys, really; it ain't the first time I've had people talking behind my back" Ashley offered

"Yeah, but every time they had something to say you'd threaten to punch 'em in the face" Danny pointed out, "This is a military base, that kinda thing won't go down well here"

"That's a point" Ashley pondered aloud, "And since we can't disclose any info on what I am, it looks like it'll have to stagnate"

"Providing no one's too curious, otherwise I think you could get away with it" Darren offered offhand, gazing down at the floor with a downcast expression.

"What's up with you?" Glen asked

"Ah nothing" Darren sighed, "It's just-, what happened with Shadowstar; it just got me thinking is all"

"About what?" Mikaela asked

"Stuff going on at home: this whole thing with her mom and siblings kinda put my own family's issues into perspective"

"You got issues at home dude?" Glen asked in mild concern

"Nothing I can't put up with...it's just-, well at the moment my-" but he suddenly paused as he spotted Majestrix enter the rec-room, and softly pace over to them and kneeled down to be closer to their level.

"Forgive my intrusion young ones, I did not disturb anything did I?" she asked politely

"Nah we were just chillin'" Glen replied as he sat up straight, "What's up?"

"I came to apologize to Ashley on Shadowstar's behalf; forgive me for not coming sooner but I've been-, distracted"

"Look its fine, really" Ashley assured her, "I'm okay, she's gonna be getting help, it's all good"

"Very well: I just didn't want to give the impression that I was deliberately overlooking the collateral"

"What collateral? No one else was hurt and dad's not holding any issues over it. Everyone's fine...well, for the most part at least" Ashley thought of Shadowstar, "When doe's she begin her treatment?"

"The assessment is scheduled for tomorrow morning, after which Portia will draw up the necessary line of therapies; her family will begin the grief counseling too"

"You think she's got a shot at getting better? Cuz, I gotta tell ya, watching that security footage of the fight, she's got a lotta rage pent up" Darren winced slightly.

"I know, but whatever course she takes will ultimately be her choice, for all the help we can offer, she has to be the one to help herself" Majestrix offered

"Don't get me wrong but I don't think the other bots will agree with it, I overheard some of the mechs earlier; they already caught wind of Prime's decision and some are under the impression he's letting her off the hook" Danny said

"'Under the impression' is just that: for lack of gaining all the facts it's easy to reach your own conclusions, without having the foresight to anticipate the damage you could cause" the femme stated

"Try telling that to Tracks" Ashley deadpanned

"Indeed, but regardless of what others think, their criticisms mustn't keep us from doing what is required, or what we want; and if they don't approve well then that's their problem, not ours..." she stated as she pondered on the subject, "...I think part of the problems of this last week has been a failure to be decisive, and to not stand up to the 'rumor mills' that have been circulating this base. People talk of course, but it's knowing the difference between a casual chat and deliberate gossip that makes the difference between being informative and hurting someone's image"

"I guess?" Sam raised an eyebrow, "So what're you going to do?"

"I've worried and procrastinated long enough: it's time I stepped up and put some old rumors to rest, and make a start getting things back in shape; after what happened today I'm not position to avoid it any longer" She stated as she stood back up, "For its worth young ones I'm sorry for what you've had to endure this past week, and I have no excuse. Starting tomorrow things are going to be a little different around here...recharge well" she waved good bye and strode out the room.

Mikaela blinked in confusion, "Did I miss something?"

"I think we're probably in for something" Morri through with a slight ounce of concern.


After traversing the central level's maze of corridors, Majestrix came upon Prime's office and knocked on the door,

Optimus opened the door, "Majestrix? What can I do for you sister?"

"It's what you can do with me that I'd great appreciate" she smiled

"Go on"

"I have an idea, and I need your help to make it work" she started as she stepped into the office and softly closed the door behind them.


A big thanks to Shinzochi for inspiring the conversation between Crystalwing, Morri and Ashley! :D That part had me stuck for a little while; but your analysis on Shadowstar got me thinking and I managed to churn out a good little twist! So a big thanks to you for that! you really did me a big favor! :)

Note the part where Darren starts to talk about his family issues - put a pin in that for the next story, cuz the next arc of the saga centers on him and his cousins :)

Also, things should start looking up for the bots, especially Majestrix, as she gets to put those shit-heads Longrange and Coldbore in their place, trust me, it's gonna be good ;)

Let me know what you think & hope you can make it for the next chapter ;) ta-ta for now dearies!