Nope, no Max at the beach, unfortunately… now, don't panic after reading this chapter… I am a dreamer, and I will not even think about doing what you'll think I would lol


She drove fast, with the window lowered and the music blasting quite loudly in the car, just like she liked it. And today after the horrible day she had had, she needed that even more than she could have any other day.

She felt like driving for hours and never stopping, or at least not until she would have completely cleared her head and she wouldn't care about a thing anymore. But she knew that wasn't a real possibility, not with all she still had to do at home. Yet she wouldn't let herself think about that right now.

Now was more about feeling carefree for a little while, even if only for a few insignificant minutes, and forgetting that her life didn't make any sense anymore, even to herself.

Hearing the first notes of one of her favorite hits, she turned the volume up another notch, and forgetting for a moment that she wasn't alone in the car, she started singing along the lead singer and found herself really smiling for the first time in the day.

Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still

I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart

She bobbed her head to the music and sang at the top of her lungs, not caring in the least that she was probably all but butchering the song, or even that to the external eye and everyone that would drive by her at that moment, she had to look like some crazy loon or completely ridiculous, but it felt definitely too good for her to give a damn.

"I'll be over at ten", you told me time and again
But you're late, I wait around and then
I run to the door, I can't take any more
It's not you, you let me down again

(Hey, hey, hey!) Baby, baby, try to find
(Hey, hey, hey!) A little time, and I'll make you happy
(Hey, hey, hey!) I'll be home
I'll be beside the phone waiting for you
Ooo-oo-ooo, ooo-oo-ooo

Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still

[ Build me Up© The Foundations.

As she intoned the next chorus, she heard something that sounded awfully like a little explosion coming from the right side of the car and the next second she even felt it swerve slightly. Taking back control almost immediately, it didn't take her long either to understand that she had burst a tire.

Great. Just great, she thought, cursing inwardly at her luck. That was so not what she needed now, moreover when she had no idea how to frigging change a wheel alone. She didn't even know if she would have the physical strength to do so on her own, or even less if she only had a spare tire to begin with.

Pulling over right away, she stopped the car on the hard shoulder and wondered briefly what she would do now.

Sighing heavily, she turned off the radio and cut the ignition, just before she got out of the car and moved around it to see the damage.

Seeing the now flat tire, she couldn't help but kick it several times in anger. Why had she even only thought that this day would end any differently or any better than it had started? When had she ever been that lucky, huh?

Coming back to the driver's seat, she passed her hand through the open window and grabbed the keys to go and open the trunk. Thinking that she had to at least 'try' to change the wheel herself first before requiring anyone else's help, she searched for the jack and growled out loud when after a few minutes she couldn't find it and realized she didn't even have one. So much for wanting to try, huh?

She pondered her next move a brief moment and when she understood that no one was apparently going to stop voluntarily to help her and that therefore she had really little choice left now, she walked back to the driver's door and hopped back inside.

Reaching inside her handbag for her cell phone, she went through her phone book to try and find someone who could come and help her, and when she found the right person she quickly dialed his number.

She waited for the ringing sound but when she didn't hear anything, she looked puzzled at her phone, only to find out that she had no reception in the car. Hitting the steering wheel in exasperation, she quickly looked to the back to the apparently sleeping form sprawled on the backseat, and after deciding that nothing would happen in the short time she would be out, she grabbed her handbag and exited the car once more, locked it just in case though, and started to walk until she could find at least a little reception.

When she found some, she redialed the number and waited impatiently for the person to pick up. As she heard the voice greeting her on the other end of the line she rushed to explain her situation, before realizing that she had only been connected with his voice mail. Sighing in frustration then, she threw a quick look at her watch and since she knew he should be home soon, she decided to leave a message nonetheless, giving him all the necessary indications to find her and telling him that she would be waiting for him, and hoped that her desperate tone would be enough to convince him to get there quickly. With him, you never knew after all.

Not having realized herself at first just how far she had gotten from her vehicle, she walked back quickly, deciding that it would be better and safer for her to wait in the car. She was only half way through there though, when suddenly tires screeched loudly and chaos erupted all around her, causing her to jump in fright.

Her first reflex was to turn around abruptly to see what was happening since the first sounds had come from behind her and as she did, she saw several cars braking in obvious panic, while others were already stopped in the middle of the road, but then she heard a crashing sound coming from the side she had been coming herself and she turned just in time to see a car colliding violently with her own parked one, the deafening sound of wrecked metal echoing around her.

She witnessed horrified as her car was nearly ejected to the road shoulder and was flipped over, and instinctively she started running in that direction, only to realize that that had been the worst idea she could have had.

Tires squealed stridently once more as the same car that had hit hers tried to avoid her, but all too soon and before the driver could do a thing to control it, it was on her and her helpless and frightened scream couldn't even pass her throat that it was already too late.


Max had really thought that Liz would call him. Not that she had to, of course, but he knew that that was what he would have done if the roles had been reversed. And now the fact that she hadn't, was kind of scaring him because in his mind it could only mean one thing. She was not ready to forgive him. Not that he had truly believed that a bunch of roses and a little note would have been enough for that, far from it. He knew that it would take more than that and some great amount of groveling on his part to erase the harshness of his words and make up for his attitude, if he ever could of course, but he had still hoped that it would be a start and that she would understand that it was his way to call a truce and that therefore she would have given him a sign, anything, to let him know that she was at least maybe willing to try, too.

He really didn't know how to take then the fact that she hadn't even tried to contact him. All he knew was that he would have really appreciated it, even if it were only to tell him to get lost, at least then he would have known where they stood, but since he was more determined than ever to have that talk with her, it hadn't been enough to make him give up for once, or deter him in any way.

He had called her every other hour on her cell phone, when he knew she would be on a break, but either it was out of range reach or she had simply turned it off, because there had been no way for him to get through. Of course he knew that he should just forget it for now then, but her silence had really made him anxious. And very antsy.

That was why after his last appointment, not too long after Janelle's call, he had shut himself away in his office and tried to catch up with the work he hadn't been able to do before -yet should really have- while he was too busy brooding over his problems with Liz, or over what he would tell her once he would see her again. What he should tell her in fact, if he wanted to make sure she would hear him out and maybe then give him another chance. He knew the possibilities for reconciliation were slim, but it was definitely worth trying.

There was no saying though how little work he had in actual fact managed to do, even after the few hours he had spent alone without being bothered. And for different reasons.

First, he really didn't understand what was happening to him, but since the beginning of the afternoon he had been on the edge and had had the nagging feeling that something was going to happen, something big, and though it sounded so totally stupid, he just couldn't cast the sensation away. And so of course it surely didn't help matters at all then that he had tried to join Liz almost all day without being able to get hold of her and all combined, well, he really didn't know what to make of it. He tried to convince himself that it was just because he was nervous and dreaded how their next encounter would turn out but unfortunately, it wasn't enough to make him feel better.

Then to top it all, there was also the fact that Tess had been acting weird almost all day -or just weirder than the usual if that was still possible- and that she had nearly bitten his head off the last time he had asked her if she had taken care of the roses. Just to be sure, you know.

So granted he had maybe asked her one too many times if everything had gone alright, if she had managed to get white ones, if she had not forgotten to tell the florist to have them delivered at lunch time and not before, if she had made sure that they didn't forget anything on the card, but was that reason enough to almost snap? For him, definitely not, but apparently for her, it had been. And that had made him consider one thing he had preferred to not regard too closely until now. Obviously Tess was more serious about him than what he had assumed, or way more than what she had tried to make him believe.

Or at least she could be, if her reaction was any indication. Which logically should have prompted him to talk with her and make her understand once and for all that they just couldn't work and do so before it got out of hands, but right that moment he really couldn't bring himself to call her in and speak about that with her.

After all, if he hadn't managed to convince her Monday night when she had climbed into his bed in the middle of the night and tried to seduce him -or whatever the hell it was she had thought she was doing- and he had had to spurn her advances, that he absolutely didn't feel that way about her and that the two of them together was just not a possibility, not then and not ever, how was he supposed to succeed now when he didn't even know where to start and he had his head just too full of other things, way more important to him than that. He would probably express himself badly and end up hurting her more than necessary, and that was the last thing he wanted. Nope, that just screamed disaster to happen a little too much for his liking.

Then on the other hand, he could also just be overreacting here and see more in her attitude than what it really was, and therefore he could just be worrying about it for nothing. Maybe it just stung some to see he could reject her when she had done nothing but be supportive and be his shoulder to cry so to say whenever he had needed to talk to someone and pour his heart out, but then he was ready to apologize and go back to a wife who had cheated on him and didn't seem to care less if the situation was slowly killing him or not, and so she resented him for that. Which could be perfectly understandable of course, but if as a friend she could be upset about it, worried for him, or just think that he was a real idiot for even considering going back to Liz and she felt the need to let him know it, he didn't think it gave her the right to judge him or act like she had a say in his life.

But maybe he should have told her that, too, the other night then. That she couldn't just assume things in general, or ask for more than what he could give and so she couldn't resent him if, or when, he didn't meet her expectations either, instead of just trying to make her understand gently that taking their relationship any further would be a mistake for both of them, even if technically he hadn't said that in so much words. Not only because they were working together and he was her boss, but because it was clear to him- or at least it had been at that moment, now he wasn't so sure anymore- that they had no feelings whatsoever for each other and so he didn't feel like compromising their friendship by having meaningless sex with her then, since honestly that was all it would have been, at least on his part, and that was just so not him.

And if that was not enough yet, another reason would be that even if he didn't even take into account the fact that in his mind and heart there was absolutely no way he could be in such an intimate relationship with anyone but Liz and therefore he highly doubted that his body would… function… with someone else, there would still be the fact that though he didn't have any romantic feelings as far as she was concerned, it didn't mean that he didn't care about her, and that was sufficient for him to not even consider using her that way, if only because he respected her just too much to go there.

At the moment, he had really thought she had understood, even if he hadn't gone into too much details to be honest because clearly the only thing he could think about then was getting her almost completely nude body out of his bed and as fast and as far away from him as possible, but maybe he should have taken some time to discuss everything with her nonetheless when everything was still fresh so to say. It would have probably been easier in the end.

Too bad he hadn't thought about that back then, because though he had clearly known it would be awkward between them for a certain while after that, he hadn't expected it to be that way and now he knew even less how to broach the topic again. How was he supposed to bring it up again now, what should he say, huh? 'Hey Tess, you know, about the other night, when you took upon yourself to think I wouldn't mind the company and invited yourself into my bed'… yeah sure, that would do just fine, wouldn't it?

He was already uncomfortable beyond measure just thinking about it, so how was he supposed to talk about it without sounding like a moron or simply an insensitive boor to her then? And even if she had said she was sorry afterwards and had blamed it on the fact that she was feeling extremely lonely lately and that was why she hadn't been thinking clearly, it didn't help any right now. Nor did the fact that she had admitted herself then that it had been a mistake and said they should just forget it had ever occurred.

Well, he couldn't forget just like that, and no matter what she had claimed at that moment, he needed to make sure that it wouldn't happen ever again nonetheless, hence he needed to tell her so in clear and unambiguous terms, whether he was ready and like it or not.

Yet even after everything, he couldn't even say that he was upset with her or anything since after all it could happen to anyone to long for something more and want to feel loved if only for a brief moment, he knew that firsthand, but there was no doubt that her lapse of judgment had only complicated things between them and that she should have really known better. Hadn't she stopped to think about what could happen if he was not interested and rejected her? Hadn't she stopped to think about the consequences? Duh, obviously not.

But could that be his fault? he couldn't help but wonder. Maybe he had involuntarily sent her… signals that had made her think he would be okay with that and that was what he wanted?

No, god, what was he thinking? He couldn't be that stupid, or have done that and not have noticed, moreover since finding himself in bed with her was probably the last thing in the world he would think about and even less want. But come to think of it, she couldn't be that stupid or clueless either. Not when she knew he still loved Liz.

She had probably heard him saying so more times than she wanted to hear it in the conversations they had shared about Liz, so she had probably just decided to ignore that fact, for whatever reasons it was. Which would tend to prove that she wanted just sex apparently since if she tried something like that, even knowing he was in love with another woman, it was probably because she didn't care, right? She couldn't care that much about him then, or about the fact that it would have only been a fuck, could she? Which was a good thing for him, right?

Well, at least she hadn't seemed to mind at that moment, but now if she started to act all jealous or whatever it was she was doing because of Liz, there was no saying how badly this could end. Yet if it came down to having to choose between Liz and what he wanted with her, and keeping her here, no matter how good a secretary she could be, it was already a done deal. Tess would lose her job -and their friendship at the same time- in the blink of an eye if she was not able to understand that no one would ever be able to compete with Liz or come before her. It could sound drastic and maybe even unfair, but now that he had set his mind, if he could have another chance with Liz, he would certainly not let anyone ruin it.

God, he would probably laugh himself silly if he didn't think it would only make him sound even more pathetic right now. Like he didn't have enough on his plate already and really needed any more drama in his life, huh? And for heaven's sake, really, what the heck had he been thinking asking Tess to take care of those flowers? Where was his brain at that moment, huh? Well, stupid question. He perfectly knew where it had been. Focused on Liz and that was why he hadn't been able to see past that.

Or to his defense he could also add again that he had really not thought, at least not at that moment, that it could be a problem for Tess. After all, being his secretary he was used to delegate to her tasks that could be quite personal. It wouldn't have been the first time, and so far there had never been any problem. Yeah, but then again, she had never so shamelessly and obviously tried to make a move on him before either, so maybe he should have considered that first, moreover since it was so recent, and thought about it better.

He could only imagine what it should have looked like to her, seeing him nearly begging for forgiveness to a woman she thought didn't deserve him anyway and that, not even a week after having more or less made her understand that she wasn't good enough for him. She had said so herself on more than one occasion when he had complained about the fact that he couldn't understand how he and Liz could have reached such a point. Not that hearing her saying that he could do so much better than Liz and that if she didn't realize what she was letting go it was her loss, had been of any comfort of course, but he knew she was just trying to help, even if it rarely worked.

To be honest, he didn't even know himself what could really help him at this point. He had wondered about that almost all day, since he had spent most of it seeing people coming to him for some kind of help, for some solution to their problems and all the while he had asked himself what he could do to help himself.

Yet, so far, he had not found any satisfying or even any miraculous answer that would solve everything that could go wrong in his life right now, so he would have probably mulled over the situation some more if he hadn't been unexpectedly interrupted.


"Tess… I told you I wasn't taking any calls! Take care of that!" he nearly growled into the intercom when the shrilling sound of the phone resonated into the office.

God, couldn't he just have a freaking moment of peace or what? One that would last? Apparently even that was too much to ask for today.

"It-It's Serena, Max… and I know what you said… but it's… it seems important… you should take this one!" Serena informed him hesitantly, knowing who it was since the man had introduced himself immediately, but not sure of what she was supposed to tell him. Obviously considering who was calling, something had to have happened and she didn't feel like being the one to give him the bad news, yet if he didn't take that call, she would have to.

God, why did Tess have to leave just at that moment? She so didn't know how to deal with that kind of situations. And moreover with Max, since though they saw each other almost everyday, she couldn't really say that she knew him. At least not as much as Tess seemed to, or just claimed to.

"Hello?" Max greeted as he reluctantly picked up the receiver.

This better be good, he thought, he was already too much behind in his work to waste any more time. And so totally not in the mood, should he add.

"Mr. Evans?" the voice on the other end of the line asked, though the man was pretty much sure he had been directed to the right person.

You would think he would be by now, but even with all the years he had been doing this, he was still not used to it and he still hated just as much having to be the one to contact the family when such a thing happened.

"Yes! Who's speaking and how may I help you?" Max asked, his curiosity piqued by the formal tone his interlocutor seemed to use, all the more since he absolutely didn't recognize the voice and yet he figured that that person had to have insisted to get to him, otherwise Serena would have never passed the call, knowing of his instructions. Besides, if he were just a new potential client, she would have probably asked him to call at another time or directed him to Alex.

"Doctor Langley… Cedars Sinai Medical Center… are you related to Elizabeth Parker Evans?" the man inquired as carefully and gently as he could, knowing by experience what reaction such a question usually caused. But it had to be asked since he couldn't very well afford to talk about the condition of a patient with the wrong person, even if in this case he had already more or less figured out their relationship.

"L-Liz? Y-Yes!… yes, she's my wife… why?" Max stuttered, feeling a chill pass through his bones at the question. But all too soon realization dawned on him and as his brain registered all the implications of the little he had just been told, he felt his heart tightening in his chest just at the thought that anything could have happened to her. "Wait… you're calling from the hospital… oh, god… what happened? Is she there?… Is she alright?… " he demanded panicked, dreading the answer more than anything else, and sure that it would just be the end of his world if the doctor had to reply negatively to his own question. She just had to be alright.

And yet a part of him already knew that she was indeed there and that if she wasn't able to call him herself, it could only be because she was clearly not alright.

"Mr. Evans… I'm sorry to announce you that this way and over the phone but your wife has been in a car accident… she's been admitted in my unit this afternoon and…" Dr Langley tried to give him as much necessary information as he could, but like always, people weren't very inclined to listen to the details in such situations, and this man who feared for his wife's life wasn't any different.

The instant he heard the word accident Max bolted out of his seat and subconsciously blocked out the other man's voice before he could even finish with his explanation. There were just words that he couldn't hear, moreover since he really didn't like his tone or what it could imply.

Who the hell started a sentence with 'I'm sorry to announce you that this way and over the phone…' anyway if it weren't to announce a very, very bad news. Generally it could only mean one thing, and there was simply no way it could be that. Max simply refused to even consider it. The only thing he wanted to hear then was that it wasn't as bad as it sounded and that no matter what, she would make it. He just needed to hear that she was okay. And that was what he asked for.

"A-A car accident… oh, lord… how is she? Is she alright?… she is, right? … it isn't… god, please tell me it isn't serious!" Max barely croaked out, his head spinning rapidly suddenly and no sooner had he gotten up that not surprisingly he felt the urgent need to sit down again, if only for a minute if he wanted to be able to move again.

However it didn't seem to help any and instead of feeling better, he felt a wave of dizziness washing over him and he even had to support some of his weight on his elbows, sure that he would just pass out there and then and fall off the chair otherwise. At the same time his heart triple hammered in his chest and he was sure that he would see it just burst out of his ribcage and fall at his feet or on the desk in front of him any second now.

This couldn't be happening. No, this just couldn't be happening. Not Liz. God, not his Liz.

"I'm sorry… but her condition is actually quite serious yes, unfortunately…" the doctor started cautiously but almost immediately stopped when he heard his interlocutor repeat a litany of broken 'no, no, no'. "Look Mr. Evans… I think it would be better if you came right now!" he tried again, realizing he couldn't very well discuss the details of her condition over the phone any longer anyway. Not with the way he was reacting so far. It would probably only make him panic even more actually and would make matters worse in the end. "Mr. Evans?"

The name met a dead silence on the other end and soon after, all Dr. Langley heard was the tone indicating that Max had hung up on him. He could only hope that the man would find someone to take him there because he wasn't sure he would be able to drive himself in the state he had seemed to be.

I'm sorry.

Your wife.

Car accident.

Quite serious.

Quite serious.

Serious.

The words echoed in his mind, but no matter how many times he heard them, he just couldn't believe they were real. They didn't make any sense to him at that moment, not if they were put together.

Serious. What was serious supposed to mean exactly anyway? A million things really. It's serious, she's been badly hurt but nothing incurable… It's serious, she's so hurt that she might not completely recover… It's so serious, there is nothing we can do anymore…

Yeah, it could mean so many things, each one worse than the other, but there was only one way to find out, he realized and so before he could ponder those thoughts any longer, he was up and out of the door.

"Serena… where's Tess?" he demanded, looking at the empty desk where his secretary should normally have been.

"She needed to go and run an errand, but she shouldn't… " Serena answered, immediately getting worried as she took in his appearance.

Color had drained from his face and as she saw him standing there in front of her, she could distinctly notice the trembling of his hands, the shaking of his whole body in fact. Simply put, the normally composed Max Evans she knew looked like a nervous wreck at that moment to her.

"Okay… it doesn't matter in fact!" Max interrupted her before she could elaborate more. "Just tell her to cancel the rest of my appointments for the day… and for… for the next week! And tell Alex… god… j-just tell him that I have a family emergency and… I-I'll call him!" he informed in one breath, wondering himself afterwards how he was still able to keep standing or just keep thinking.

"S-Sure… is everything going to be okay?" she couldn't help asking, seeing how Max seemed to grow more and more agitated with each word he had to force out of his mouth. Besides, if he was asking for all his appointments to be cancelled, not just the two he still should have had later but the whole following week, too, it could only mean that whatever had happened was really serious.

"I don't know… I really don't know!" Max just mumbled, probably more to himself than to her, before exiting his office and running to get to his car.

He hoped with all his might that it would be okay, because he really didn't know what would become of him if it were otherwise. He honestly didn't think he would survive if it were really as bad as that doctor had given him to understand, or just what it had felt like.

No, she had to be alright because he couldn't lose her. He just couldn't. Not now. Not ever!