Bluebabe22/ash: hi guys I'm here with my next chapter I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed righting it

Paul: why are you so cheerful, it's just sickening

Bluebabe22/ash: you sicken me, and I don't own "Paul". Now on with the story.

Graeme and Clive

Paul's p.o.v. 10 years later

I was in a car and driving away from the base that I had known for 60 years I couldn't believe it. I thought it was my home away from home, but I guess that's what the big guy wanted me to think. I still can't believe they wanted to cut out my brain. Shivering with the thought I continued to drive along highway 375. I came upon an RV the drivers seemed to be panicking, but as I passed by they seemed relieved and calmed down, I was watching them curiously in the review mirror, when I realised I was losing control of the car and I had no time to correct it. I went rolling of the road listening to the screams of the guys in the RV.

When the car finally came to a stop, I grabbed my rucksack and fell out of it. My head was spinning and I was feeling more than a little sick. I quickly moved out of site as the two humans came out of there now parked RV to check on the wrecked car.

'maybe you should call for help' the ginger one said, the fat one pulled a cell phone out and started dialling, 'it's ringing' he said as he put it to his ear I can't deal with this I thought. 'I wouldn't do that if I were you' I said pulling a ciggie out and lighting it, I walked forward slowly with my hands in front of me saying 'put the phone down', they both stared at me with an I-can't-believe-what-I'm-seeing look. Then the fat one let out a hysterical laugh and fainted.

'What have you done to him' said the ginger one panicked and looking from him to the fat one on the ground. 'I haven't done anything to him, he fainted' I said calmly. 'Yeah, but y-you made him faint' the ginger one said still panicked. I continued walking toward's him replying 'yeah but it's not like I set my fazer to faint'. 'You've got a fazer', the ginger one said now looking kind of excited but still wary. 'no, but look' I was getting pissed now, I chucked my cigarette on the floor, 'listen 'kay, I really need your help,okay, now can we get this guy back on your waggon' I said as I picked one of the fainted guys legs up. The ginger started making strange noises then decided on saying, 'are you an alien'. Still holding the fainted guys leg I said 'to you I am, yes'. Then the ginger idiot had to go and say 'are you going to probe us'. I dropped the guy's leg now really pissed off and angry now complainig, 'why does everyone always assumes that, what am I doing, am I harvesting farts? How much can I learn from an ass?', 'ah eh, what?' oh great, the ginger guy was confused now.

'I'm sorry, what's your name?' I said trying to get something out of him, 'Graeme Willy', he said shakily, 'and what's his name', I said pointing at the fainted man on the floor, 'that's the righter Clive Gollings', finally I thought, 'okay cool, I'm Paul', Graeme looked confused again, 'Paul?' he asked, 'yeah, it's a nickname that's stuck, myshipcrashedonadog, it doesn't matter, look can we get the righter Clive Gollings back on the RV and get the hell out of here, please?' Graeme was looking like he wasn't sure what to do, 'yeah, but…', great his panicking about what to do, 'look I'm in a hell of a pickle,and if you don't help me I could die on this road to night', I was getting annoyed again, Graeme was looking unsure now, 'I don't know we're on quite a tight schedule'. Oh great now I'm going to be stuck in the middle of nowhere waiting for death to come pick me up, no I am not going to let that happen, 'look man, sometimes you just gotta roll the dice', please he has to help me, 'what do you say' he thought about it for a couple of seconds then said 'okay', thank you, thank you, thank you.

'okay, perfect, great', I said bending down and reaching for Clive's legs again, 'okay, help me, help me grab 'im', looking down I realised, 'this man has peed his pants', Graeme looked up from grabbing Clive and said, 'yeah his got a child's bladder, 'oh fantastic', I said.

With a lot of pulling and hauling we finally got the fat guy in the RV, I waited in the passenger's seat while Graeme done something round the back of the RV. Then we finally started driving to my relief. Looking worried he kept glancing at me, I then realised how slow we were going, 'does this thing go any faster', still worried Graeme said, 'well I'm sorry, but the speed limits 70'- 'well screw the speed limit, actually no, yeah don't screw it, that's good thinking, okay, stay conspicuous', I really don't want to be found out. Graeme then goes and says 'how can I understand you? Are you using some sort of neuron language router', oh for the love of all things human, 'actually I'm speaking English you fucking idiot', Graeme let out a breathy laugh, 'sorry, you're in shock right now, I understand this must be very weird for you, just act normal and drive north', I said in a commanding tone and pointing forward settling back into the chair I said to myself 'got to get as much between us and the big guy'.

A while later

I walked back to sit next to Graeme after just been to the loo a picked up the cup of pistachios. 'I love pistachios', I told Graeme, 'I hate when you get a closed one, right?', Graeme gave me a glance a said 'I u-usually just bite them', what you don't bit them, 'no, you don't do that at all, you tap them and if they don't open on their own you from them away', 'no that's mussels', Graeme retorted 'no, I know it's pistachios' I said popping one into my mouth. Then I'm being strangled by Clive who saying something to Graeme in some strange language, I can't breathe, i thought. 'what are you doing', Graeme said trying to drive and talk to Clive at the same time, 'his okay, his fine, his names Paul', finally the idiot stops strangling me and I take a deep breath of air, I hear Clive saying 'aliens are not called Paul' in a sad and scared voice, but I was too angry to hear, instead I said 'was that klingon, you psychotic nerd', i was rubbing my neck while Graeme told Clive, 'listen Paul is from a small "m" classed planet, in the north spiralarm of the adromada galaxy', thank god for Graeme, 'thank you', I said actually thankful.

'he looks to obvious', Clive said well someone had to say it, 'there's a reason for that Cliiiive, over the last 60 years the human race has been drip-fed images of my face, on lunch boxes and t-shirts and shit, so that if a raises do ever meet, you don't have a fucking spaze attack', oops wrong thing to say me and my big mouth. 'I did not have a spaze attack', Clive said whacking my head and grabbing my throat again, Graeme was saying, 'don't do it again', then I felt Clive's fingers going in to my jorph, 'ah that's my jorph, get your fucking fingers out of there', I could feel him pull his hands away I could tell he would be looking at the gunk on them, which was my jorph fluids, 'if I get a jorph infection your dead', I said relearning how to breathe again.

When I looked up again I noticed a road block, probably looking for me, 'oh shit'. I took a deep breath of air and went invisible. 'Paul…' Graeme turned to look at me and found he was staring at nothing, 'Paul?' he asked, we had now pulled over and I was taking no chances of being caught, so I remained silent.

I lied lazily across the dash board waiting for that arrogant agent to finish his search I watched dip his hand into are chips and sniff at the pants Clive pissed in, I closed my eyes waiting for the search to finally be over and listening to the other agent outside question Clive and Graeme, they told him they had been to comic-con, and then the agent told them not to tell riley, when I heard a loud 'oh my god, look at this, look at this', I watched as the nerdy agent named riley run out holding Clive's novel.

'What, what' the I heard the agent outside say, 'they've met Adam Shadowchild', said riley exasperatedly, the other just let out a long sigh 'who the hell is Adam Shadowchild?', then I heard Clive say 'he wrote the Jupiter practise', 'what' said the agent, 'Jenny Starpepper and the huge white gibbon', 'huh' was the agents reply, 'night of the moths', 'speak English', the agent said but before he could continue riley cut in 'night of the moths brilliant book, what was he like?', Graeme said 'well he was a bit intense', riley obviously very excited said 'oh his an artist'. Watching from the window I saw the other agent take Clive's novel out of Riley's hands and shine a torch on it saying 'what is this? Nerd porn', Graeme pointed to Clive saying 'er no that's Clive's novel', 'and Clive saying 'that's my novel at the same time, riley looked at them 'oh okay', then looking back down to the novel, 'huh three tits', he said while the other agent said 'that's awesome', riley looked up smugly and said 'you guys should of given her four tits', the other men just looked at him, and Graeme told him 'that's just sick', ' I was just saying', riley said looking I little forlorn.

'so you think this is it', riley aske the over agent, who replied 'I'm doubtful, what else you find in there?' he nodded his head toward the RV, 'on not much just a pair of pissy jeans', he said looking toward the towel rapped around Clive's legs. Graeme looked toward Clive pointing and saying delicately while Clive shushed him 'um Clive's got a child's bladder', 'shut up, shut up', Clive complained, 'sorry' Graeme apologised. 'Okay, you guys can go', said the agent whose name I didn't know, 'thank you', both Clive and Graeme said, Clive taking his novel back as they passed the two agents. But before Clive got into the RV he said seriously 'may I ask what you're searching for?' taking a dramatic pause no name finally said 'no'.

Finally driving I waited for as to get far away before showing myself, I listened to Clive and Graeme's conversation and decided to make them jump, not having my pants on will scare them even more. 'It's pretty obvious what happened there isn't it?' Clive said 'is it?' Graeme asked ,'the government used some kind of neurotoxic paint on the black mailbox causing us to have a shared hallucination about an alien, it makes complete sense', Clive explained , ' WRONG', I said showing myself and making them both jump and Graeme hold his hands up and closing his eyes so he wouldn't "see me" and Clive swerving the RV.

'Oh no' Clive said as I climbed down from the dash board, 'what', I said as I looked for my pants 'come on grow up, you guys scene my shorts?', I asked when I spotted them on the floor near Graeme was sitting.

Graeme turned around to talk to me and asked, 'how-how d'you do that? How d'you go invisible?', I answered, 'oh uh it's a camouflage response', 'what, like predator', I couldn't help smiling humans always think of the perfect animal/creature to use when explaining stuff, 'exactly, only I can only do it while holding my breath', obviously Graeme asks, 'but you can do it any time you want?', I stuck out my thumb and index finger, and curled the other two fingers down, putting them up to my moth to imitate predators mouth I said in a predator like voice, 'any time', with Graeme laughing I continued my charade and mimicked predators gun, by stretching my fingers out to a point, and making *vvvv-v-v* noises and going 'wragh-wragh-wragh',, then Clive lost it.

'uurgh', he said thumping his hands on the stirring wheel, 'am I the only sane person here, hey', Graeme looked a bit shocked, but Clive continued looking back at me, 'it's alright for you?, isn't it? You'll go back to area 51, we'll be arrested for harbouring a fugitive and be sent to Guantanamo bay,' deciding they needed a little alone time to calm down and needing some coffee I said, 'why don't I go and make some bagels and coffee, leave you two alone', still listening though I walked to the fridge, and looked inside saying/singing, 'bagels and coffee, oooooo marmite,' I could hear Clive and Graeme discussing how weird it was having me here, 'what's the matter Clive?', Graeme asked, 'there's and alien in the kitchenette making bagels and coffee', Graeme's reply to that was, 'did you want tea', 'no, I don't want tea', 'right, because tea in Americas weird, they leave the bag in', annoyed Clive said, 'what's weird Graeme is we have picked up an extraterrestrial hitch-hiker, and-and you seem completely fine with it,' Graeme explained, 'look he said his life was in danger, I needed you know, sometimes you just gotta roll the dice,' good man, defiantly good to be friends with him I thought, 'what if we wake up and find him inserting a probe into are anas,' Graeme defending my alien raise said, 'well apparently they don't do that', that's enough I thought with to bagels on my index finger, I stuck it up in the air pointing it at each of them saying,' anyone what one of these, eh, anyone, anyone'.

The next day

We stopped at the gas station in Eli, I made Graeme and Clive jump by honking on the horn, banging on the side of the RV with my head stuck out the window I shouted, 'Reece's piece's, yes thank you', as I watched the gas station I noticed the old bill pull-up Clive looked very worried holding my breath so no one would see me I watched his reaction, the officer nodded to him and after some hesitation Clive nodded back, I was proud of him he hadn't pissed his pants. Clive let out a long sigh as the officer entered the shop.

I watched as the boys hurried out the shop, and trotted back to the RV trying not to run, I moved so Graeme could sit down, and we were off before I knew it they weren't very good at hiding the fact they were scared. I decided to praise them maybe it calm the down, 'that was amazing Graeme that cop didn't suspect a thing', I said in an enthusiastic voice, I turned to Clive who was in the passenger's seat, 'and Clive you didn't pee your pants', I couldn't help but smile out the two guys helping me, then Clive says, 'I don't mean to be a stick in the mud but you are asking a lot of us, right, we've only just met we dunno where we're going, or why, d'you mot think we're due an explanation,' oh great, well I knew one of them would bring this up sooner or later, 'look the less you guys know the better, I want you to have plausible deniability, let's just say I spent a long time at the base thinking I was a guest, it turns out I was a prisoner, but don't worry I got it all under control, arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh', I screamed as the RV came to a stop, some stupid bird had hit the window.

We all got out and stood around the dead creature, 'fuck that made me jump', I said as we all looked down, 'poor little thing', Graeme said sounding a bit upset, 'nothing you could a done mate', Clive said trying to comfort Graeme a little, right that's it I thought I need a snack and I haven't had a bird in ages, and I definitely was going to eat a dead bird, clapping my hands together and then rubbing them together I bent down, 'w-what are you doing', Graeme asked, 'just watch', I whispered and picked the dead bird up in my hands, like did normally when reviving something I closed my eyes tight and imagined a little bit of my life running from me into the dead bird, seeping away out of my hands, bending my head the right I cracked my neck, hearing gasps of shock from either side of me I opened my eyes and smiled at the bird fluttering on my hands, 'it's a miracle', I heard Graeme say before, as quick as it had hit the window the bird was in my mouth with a leg hanging out, *Mmm-m-mmm* I said, hearing sounds of disgust and horror from Clive and Graeme, 'man, missed these', I said happy, 'why would you do that', Graeme questioned me, my reply, 'well I'm not going to eat a dead bird am I', burping out a feather.

A few hours later

I'm sitting on the sofa reading Clive's novel, with Graeme drawing a sketch of me, 'let me see, let me see', I said finally wanting to see the picture, 'no just sit still', Graeme said annoyed that I kept moving and fidgeting, ' you going to draw me like one of your French girls? Jack', said as if it were the titanic movie, making a kissing motion, Graeme just looked at me, 'okay, I'm joking, just don't make me look fat', I gestured to my stomach, 'earth's gravity adds ten pounds'.

'Paul? Can I ask you something?' Graeme asked, 'shoot', I said giving him the go ahead, 'have you ever done that to a person?', I thought I would have a little fun with Clive, 'yes, I've eaten many people', like I suspected Clive turned around worried, 'I'm joking big guy, relax', 'no, I mean have you ever, you know fixed them', Graeme said rethinking his question, 'oh, no, not a dead person', I said sitting up, 'recently dead bird that's one thing, recently dead person that's a whole other ball-game, actually its really dangerous for me the damage can bounce back onto me and-' I was cut off by a loud yawn from Clive, I mistaked it for being a sarcastic one, and retorted, 'oh am I boring you, you heard this one before', then Graeme goes and says, 'are you tired sausage' I had to stop myself from laugh, Clive's reply was, 'don't call me that in front of him', 'are you tired though', Graeme repeated, 'eggy I'm bushed', thinking about it so was I chucking the novel I was reading on the other chair I said stretching, 'you know what we're all tired', as I stretched you could hear my bones cracking, getting up I continued, 'let's pull-over and stop for the night', but Clive was being paranoid, 'we're fugitives Paul, alright I refuse to just sit around and wait to get fingered by the men in black', I retorted with, 'look we've just gotta find somewhere quite where we won't draw attention to ourselves', obviously frustrated, 'but where are we going Paul', smiling I said, 'oh you'll know it when you see it'.

A few hours later

'Okay, here we are, this is the place', Clive said breathlessly, we all looked up at the sign as Clive put the RV in park, it read "pearly gates RV", 'yeah this looks good, doesn't look like anyone's been murdered here', I said sarcastically, 'awfully quiet', Graeme pointed out the obvious, 'quiet's good Graeme, quitet's are friend'.

Graeme went to open the door and find someone when he let a girly scream, 'there's a girl outside', he whispered, I immediately held my breath will the other sorted out a plan of action in whispers, Clive now standing in front of Graeme who had his back leaning against the door said, 'okay, alright, look, we're just couple of regular guys on a tour of the lest touristy side of American mid-west', then Graeme being an idiot said, 'I don't think she heard you', 'I'm not talking to her, I'm talking to you' Clive whispered, 'oh' Graeme said opening the door back up, 'hi' said the girl outside 'I'm Ruth Buggs', Clive said shakily, 'hello Ruth, I am the righter Clive Gollings and this', he said putting his hand on Graeme's shoulder, 'is my friend and cohort Mr Graeme Willy', I noticed that Graeme was standing there staring wide eyed and open mouthed at Ruth, 'em, you got room', Clive said pointing his thumb towards the RV park, 'sure, yeah, em, park in bay nine, its twenty-five dollars a night including hook-up's, and I'm going to need an ID to hold onto', 'okay was Clive's response he Looked at Graeme and then went and got his passport, 'there you go it's, uh, my passport', Clive said handing Ruth his passport, 'the UK I love the UK', Ruth said while checking it, 'have you been', Clive asked, 'no', she said a little sadly, 'you should go', Graeme said finally finding his voice, 'oh' Ruth said and turned to leave, thinking he meant go away, 'no, I mean you should go to London', he quickly corrected pointing to the passport, 'well there's a lot of places I wanna go', Ruth explained, 'RUTH', came a loud and angry shout from inside the farmhouse, 'Ruth get in here', 'well I-I'll be by in the morning to get your money, have a pleasant evening', she said ' thank you', both the guys said, 'bye', Ruth said and then she left, holding the gate open for us as we drove in.

'She was lovely', Graeme said love struck, 'well why don't you just marry her then', was Clive's grumpy reply. Standing between their to chairs I became visible again, 'boo', making them both jump, and Clive slam on the brakes, 'what not thirty second ago I did it', i said laughing at their reactions.

Bluebabe22/ash: geez that took me ages to wright,

Paul: it's basically the movie

Bluebabe22/ash: it is but that's all about to change read and review please I love hearing from people, I would also like to say thank you to Markdr for all his help and ideas, I know that he will be posting Paul Pictures on deviant art and is also going to draw my character sky, so again a big thank you,