Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. They belong to J. Evanovich.
Any mistakes are my own. I'm trying to proof thoroughly but I'm not a professional.
Also there is S-M-U-T in this chapter. Enjoy…
"Tell me Babe, are you avoiding me?"
"I'm not avoiding you Ranger. I see you every day. We went to lunch together earlier today."
"Those are just particulars, Stephanie. With that exception; when was the last time we shared a meal at my table or any table outside of work?"
"So we haven't been had dinner together in a while. Then let's make dinner plans. Where do you want to go Ranger?" I replied. Shut up Stephanie, you're trying to distance yourself from him remember. Do encourage him to spend time with you.
You turned to Lester to help you with your gun. You know I would have done that. I expected you to come to me when you were ready."
"I've been making changes in my life Ranger. Believe it or not they are changes I am making for myself. Lester offered to help. I accepted. It wasn't meant as an insult to you."
"When I dropped you off at home after the meeting with Ludano the other night, you practically jumped out of the car while it was still moving. Then you ran away from me, and ushered me out the door. I could hear you crying from the sidewalk. What's going on with you Stephanie?"
"Boss." Someone on the other side of the door called before they knocked. "Boss, Hector's back, we need to talk. Everyone's in the main conference room."
Ranger hung his head and growled. "Shit. We keep getting interrupted. We will finish this. It's not over. You can sleep in the penthouse. It will be late when we get back, so don't wait up," Ranger said turning to leave his office.
I stood there in shock for a couple minutes. What was I going to do? I hadn't stepped foot in Ranger's apartment since we slept together six months ago. I'd been avoiding it because the space is so overwhelmingly him. Now I was going to have to face it. It was going to take everything I had to make it through the night.
"Bombshell?"
"In here."
"There you are, the guys sent me to get you. We're going to Shorty's for pizza. Do you want to go with us?"
"Sure Cal that would be great. Let me tell Ranger I'm going, he told me not to leave without Lester."
"Lester is coming too."
"Oh then let's go, I'm starving," I said linking my arm through Cal's and walking out of Ranger's office.
Dinner with the guys was great. They shared funny stories about apprehensions, and their time in the military. It felt good to laugh after such a long trying day. The pizza was hot and cheesy and the view of my Merry Men was amazing!
All too soon we were back a Rangeman. I rode the elevator to the fifth floor with the guys. There were still a few minutes before they left for tonight's search of Stark Street for the missing teenager. The guys were all in good spirits and pumped up for the job ahead. I was worried that something would go wrong. Stark Street was full of unknowns. There were drug addicts, drug dealers, gangs, drunks, and desperate people everywhere. At any moment anything could happen. I knew that the guys were trained military and the best of the best. Still when people find their way into your heart it's hard to imagine them purposefully walking into danger.
I stood next to the monitor station watching the guys on both teams strapping on Kevlar vests, and checking their weapons. The closer to time to load up the quieter the floor became. The men were starting to get into battle zone. I took a minute to look at these men who I've grown to love and respect. They were my heroes. In fact they were America's heroes, I was proud to call them friends.
My eyes fell to Lester. He had become one my most cherished friends. He had taken me under his wing in recent months. His support and help had been so important to my daily life. He'd taught me how respect myself. He'd filled his promise to help me feel comfortable with my gun. He'd encouraged me to become a runner. Every day he gave me support and protection.
I walked over and stood next to Lester as he finished strapping on his utility belt. "Lester I want you to be careful. Extra careful," I said. I wrapped my arms around him and squeezing as tight as I could. Lester squeezed me back and put his nose in my hair.
"Don't worry Beautiful. I'll be back tonight, and in a couple days we'll be running in the park." Lester kissed me on the forehead and let me go.
"I'm going to head upstairs. Call me when you're done. I love you."
"Love you too. I'll call as soon as we're in the truck."
I turned to walk toward the elevator to go up to seven when I noticed Ranger standing next to the monitor station. His eyes trained on me. I couldn't read his thoughts and his emotions were hidden but if you knew him as well as I did you could see the tension around his eyes. He was worried about a threat to his men. He was concerned that someone might be targeting his company. He needed a friend, someone to support him.
I walked over to Ranger and offered a weak smile. "Be careful."
"Babe, don't worry. We're prepared."
We stood looking at each other, eyes locked, unspoken words of friendship and love passing between us. Ranger reached out his hand and traced a finger down my cheek. I smiled up at him hoping that I was able to provide him some comfort.
"Well I should get upstairs so you can rally the troops."
"Babe." This time Babe means my joke was corny.
I stood on my tiptoes and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Don't get shot."
"Don't go crazy."
I boarded the elevator and used my key fob to access Ranger's private floor. When the doors opened to the lobby memories came flooding back. I'd spent a lot of time here. This apartment had always been a safe place for me. This time it didn't feel safe, it felt dangerous. There were memories on the other side of that door. Memories I'd tried very hard to push to the back of my mind. I took a few deep breaths and used the fob to open the door. I put my purse down in the hallway and took off my heels leaving them next to my bag. Placed my keys on the silver tray on sideboard, and admired the fresh flowers Ella always kept in place. Beside the flowers was a note addressed to me.
Babe,
Make yourself comfortable. Your clothes and things are in the same place. I had Ella put out fresh towels. She put a slice of chocolate cake in the fridge. Also there is a bottle of wine on the counter in the kitchen. If you need anything call Ella. Don't wait up I'm sure it will be late before we're done tonight.
RCM
I put the note on the counter in the kitchen and poured myself a glass or wine. I walked around the apartment. Strange I hadn't been here in months but it was exactly as I'd remembered it. The earth tone colored walls. The tasteful art and furniture with clean lines. Everything was in its place, perfect. Exactly what you would expect if you knew were one of the lucky few to really know Ranger.
When I reached the doorway to the bedroom, my heart skipped a beat. I'd shared this bed with Ranger so many times. His warm body offered such safety and comfort. The one time we'd made love here had been unbelievable. Our connection had seemed so real, or so I thought. Making love to Ranger was dangerous. While you were in the passion of the moment everything seemed so magical. When it was over everything seemed to be an illusion. I knew that there was no way I could sleep in this bed tonight. I decided I would sleep on the couch a safe distance from Ranger, and from the memories of him in this bedroom.
I shook my head and decided the silence of the room was not helping my mood. I walked over to the stereo picked out a CD inserted it, and turned the volume up a little. I walked into the kitchen and set the note on the counter and poured myself a glass of wine. Then I took glass into the bathroom and turned on Ranger's shower. Once the temperature and jets were set to my liking I stripped off my clothes and stepped inside.
Thirty-five minutes later I was wrinkling like a prune and the water was turning cold. So I wrapped my body and hair in two of the fluffiest towels I'd ever seen and stepped out of the shower. I brushed my teeth and opened the cabinet to the side of the sink. As promised in the note all of my things were still in their place. I picked up the hair dryer Ella and bought for my use and set about the task of drying my curls. Once my curls were dry I walked back into Ranger's bedroom and opened the drawer that was designated as mine and selected a pair of panties and a cotton nightgown.
I went back into the bathroom and picked up my glass of wine. Taking a sip I walked back into the living room and turned off the stereo. I picked the remote off the coffee table and turned on the huge TV. I flipped channels until I settled on Nick at Night. An episode of The Nanny later I remembered the cake in the fridge. I watched another episode while I enjoyed my dessert. Eventually my mind began wandering back to that last night I'd spent with Ranger in my apartment.
"Ranger, stay the night."
"Babe are you sure?"
"Yes."
Then he kissed me. Leaning me against the wall, his body pressed against mine. One hand at my waist the other at the nape of my neck. It was a slow tender kiss, his lips meeting mine over and over. Then it intensified. His tongue touched mine, and I felt the heat of his body pressing harder against me.
"Let's go to the bedroom," Ranger said in a low seductive tone.
I took his hand in mine and led him across the apartment. When we were standing in the bedroom Ranger pulled me to him and kissed my lips once, and then he kissed the spot behind my ear, and that place at the bottom of my neck that makes me crazy. His hands unzipped my dress. His hand slid into the open space at the back of my dress. I could feel the calloused roughness against my skin. He was kissing me again. While he kissed me I pulled his shirt out of his pants, and slid my hand across his sculpted abs.
"Ranger I love…oh god…I love…"
"Shh..No talking," Ranger said covering my mouth with his; kissing me until I felt dizzy. Holding me up at the waist with one arm he reached over his shoulder and pulled his shirt off with the other. My hands reached out to touch his chest but he stepped from my reach. With one tug on my dress it pooled at my feet. I could feel his dark eyes scanning my body taking in every curve. He quickly undressed himself, and then put us both on the bed. My bra and panties were discarded swiftly and soon he was kissing his way down my naked body. Stopping to kiss and tease my nipples and then down my belly. Then he kissed the inside of my knees and started nibbling his way up my thighs. It was both erotic and torture at the same time. Finally after what seemed like hours I felt his hot mouth press between my thighs and his tongue trace the outside of my clit. Ranger's hands pushed my knees further apart and he continued his explorations until I was clutching the sheets and begging him to make love to me.
We were face to face, chest to chest, and groin to groin. I could feel him inside me, moving lazily. Ranger and I'd had sex a few times, but this was different. His eyes were locked to mine. My hands kept tracing a path up and down his back. I could feel developed muscles moving under his warm, velvet skin. His lower back was slick with perspiration and he was struggling to prolong his release. This was intimate. I felt like was Ranger trying say something with me. Before I could figure out what he was trying to convey his eyes closed. I leaned up kissing him stroking his face trying to get him to look at me again. He refused, kissing my neck and shoulders, sucking my nipples. Ranger never looked at my face again. Neither of us spoke. He lowered his head next to mine and I could hear his labored breathing. Gently he traced the shell of my ear with his tongue. In a hushed whisper Ranger said something in Spanish.
"Te amo. Te amo. Te amo. Siempre. Mi mujer, mi amor."* The words were barely audible. Almost as if he was telling me a secret.
Ranger made a few hard thrusts into me and we both fell into release. He rolled me on top of him stroking my hair. We lay like that for a long time both trying to recover. The last thoughts I had before dozing off were trying to memorize the words he'd said to me. I felt like they were important. The next morning I woke up to see Ranger walking out of my bedroom, without so much as a goodbye.
Laying here in his apartment alone in the faint light of the television I allowed myself to cry for my broken heart, for my hurt pride, and for the end of my dreams with Ranger. My heart had never hurt like this. Not even when I caught Dickie cheating on me. Not when I realized that Joe was never going to love completely. Not even the countless times I'd disappointed my mother. I lay on the couch in the penthouse and cried myself to sleep.
The ringing of my cellphone woke me up. I looked at the caller ID it was Lester.
"Hello?"
"We're done Beautiful."
"Did you find the kid?"
"Yeah, Cal and Binky found him hiding behind a dumpster scared out of his mind. His parents are going to get on a flight first thing tomorrow to get him."
"That's great Les. I'm so glad you're safe. Everything was okay then? No one got hurt?"
"It went fine. We found out a few things about who attacked Zero too. I'll tell you about it in the morning. Go back to sleep."
"Where are you staying Les?"
"With Bobby, 4B."
"Okay. Goodnight, Les."
"Goodnight."
The TV was still on, so I found the remote and turned it off. I was glad the family would be reunited, and my friends were coming home, safe. I sent a silent prayer up thanking God for all the good things in my life. Then rolled over on my side facing the back of the couch and went back to sleep.
I was tied to a chair in my living room. I was alone, I kept calling for help, but no one was coming. I'd been screaming for help for a long time. My arms were aching from the pressure of being contained behind me for so long. My voice was fading, and there was no hope of escape. I tried yelling for Ranger, but a voice I didn't recognize told me he was dead. I looked down at the carpet and there was blood. So much blood. I tried to look away and there was blood on the wall. I kept calling for help, but no one heard me, then from somewhere smoke started filling the room.
"Ranger, oh god, Ranger! Please help me! Ranger! "
"Babe, wake up. Wake up! It's just a dream. Babe, it's okay, it was just a dream. You're fine, you're safe." Ranger was talking to me, soothing me. I looked around and realized that it was another nightmare. I'm in Ranger's apartment, in his bed. I look at the clock on the nightstand it was late, well late for Ranger, nine o'clock. Ranger's arm was thrown across my middle.
"What? How did I get in here?" I asked.
"When I came home last night I found you on the couch. You were lying with one arm and one leg hanging off, you looked uncomfortable. I carried you in here, you never woke up." He says dragging my body closer to him, burying his face in my curls.
"Oh, well ummm…Thanks. I should go. I'll just get dressed and I'll be out of your way." This feels so good to be in his arms. I've missed this. He smells so good. Maybe I could just lay here for a couple more minutes.
Ranger's grip tightened around me, "How long have you been having the nightmares?" When he holds me like this I can't stop myself. I love him still. Why doesn't he love me back? Mmm…his body is so warm. He has the most beautiful skin.
"Babe?"
"I guess for a while." Ranger squeezed me a little urging me to continue. "I had them for a while after I shot Alpha. Then they went away. Things were fine until Stiva locked me in that coffin. Then the dreams came back. I didn't really have the money for a therapist or anything so I checked some books out of the library about dealing with nightmares. Then things seemed better. Then Scrog shot you and I thought I'd never sleep again. Once those passed nothing really bothered me until Orin."
Ranger's face was stoic. He was looking over my head at the wall across the room. Obliviously I'd disappointed him. I just wanted to get out his bed, out of his apartment. I want to leave the building to go home to my condo. So I could be alone for a little while. This is why you need your distance. You've only been alone with him a few minutes and already he's done with you. Get out of this bed, before you make a fool of yourself.
I tried to pull free of Ranger's grip. He pulled me tighter for a second. I tried again and he let me go.
I stepped into Ranger's bathroom and tried to decide what to do. There would be no escape; Ranger had made up his mind he wanted to talk. When he asked about the nightmares I felt like I should tell him the truth. I'd never lied to him, not really. I didn't want to lie now. He would have known anyway, he's Batman. I had to find a way to get out of here before he asked again if I was avoiding him. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and brushed my teeth.
Peeking into the bedroom I saw that Ranger was out of bed and out of the room. I quickly ran into the closet and threw on some gym clothes. I could hear Ranger talking on the phone from the living room.
"Talk…I can't today…tomorrow…I'll call with details…" Click.
"Everything okay Ranger?"
"That was Miami; they need me to attend to a matter."
"I'll fly out tomorrow afternoon. We have a distraction this evening."
"Right, Drummond. But if you need to go to Miami it's fine. Lester can be my watch."
"I'll be there. You asked me to watch out for you and that's what I'm going to do. Now come sit down and let's eat before it gets cold."
"I promised Lester I'd run with him this morning, I'll grab something to eat when we get back."
"I see," Ranger's voice was low and quiet. I'd heard this tone a few times usually when there was a problem with one of the men. "Have a good run."
Ranger walked into the bedroom to finish getting ready for the day. Tears were starting to fall down my cheeks. I'd just told Ranger one of my biggest secrets. I'm not as strong as I pretend to be. I can only hope he understands and doesn't use the information against me. Thankfully I was able to escape without telling him my biggest secret. I'm afraid that if I told him I was in love with him I'd lose everything. I'd worked so hard to change my life for the better. Telling Ranger my true feelings for him was too big a risk. Taking one last look around. I quickly walked to the entry and gathered my things and bolted for the elevator.
I exited the elevator on the fourth floor and ran to Bobby's door. I need to talk to Les. Until this morning only Les knew about the nightmares. He was also the only person I'd admitted my feelings for Ranger to.
Frantically knocking on the door I called for Les.
"Steph?"
"Bobby, where's Les?"
"I'm right here, Beautiful." At the sound of his voice I launched myself into the apartment grabbed on to Lester. Pushing my face into his bare chest, I stood there trying to gather myself together. "Whoa! What's wrong?"
"It was just too much," I whispered.
Lester's strong arms tightened around and he just whispered "You're okay."
I pulled away and nodded my head. I took a few deep breaths. "Thanks."
"We're family. You and me, we support each other," Les said, looking me in the eyes.
"That's right brother, "I said holding out my index finger to Lester to touch E.T. style. This was our secret handshake. Turns out the Lester and I share a love 80's movies.
"Geez, you two are geeks," Bobby said from the kitchen.
"Hey! Just because you don't think a movie is any good unless something gets blown up doesn't mean we all have to suffer," I said putting my hands akimbo in mock anger.
Bobby rolled his eyes in a fashion that made the Jersey girl in me proud. "You don't know excitement. That's why you think E.T. is a good movie. Independence Day now that's a classic."
Now it was my turn to roll my eyes.
"So are you ready to run?" Lester asked, pulling on a t-shirt.
"Yes, let's do it. Are you coming Bobby?"
"Yep."
"Okay but I don't want to hear any complaining about speed. I do the best I can to keep the pace," I warned.
Bobby nodded, and we were on the stairs on our way to the street.
*{Spanish to English: I love you, I love you, I love you. Forever. My woman. My love.}
I've worked on this chapter for a couple days. I can't seem to make it everything I want it to be. I hope that I was able to show that Ranger and Stephanie still share a bond. That even though she's tried to push him away he hasn't moved too far. I also want his language and actions to Stephanie to show his feelings. I hope that's what you felt when you read this chapter. Coming in the next chapter the distraction.
