This was one of those times I was very glad that my Alice had her little talent. She took everything I said- the whole vampire explanation in stride, though I could easily tell that she would have freaked out a lot more had she not been able to expect it. She already knew though, that we were not going to hurt her…that me taking her away was a positive thing, even if I was a monster. I was a monster that would rather kill myself (however difficult that might be) than put so much as a scratch on her body.
She asked a lot of questions and rarely let me get through a thought without having something to say about it, but I could not detect any fear in her voice or mind for her own safety. When she was finally out of questions and I out of explanations she just snuggled her tiny body up to me under her blanket and coughed deeply a couple times before falling fast asleep. By that time Carlisle had left for work and I couldn't resist running my fingers through her short spiky hair. Now that it was actually clean and dry I just wanted to touch it all the time.
But who was I kidding? Her hair wasn't the only part of her I wanted to touch. She had been beautiful before simply because I cared for her so much, but now that I finally had gotten to see what she really looked like underneath all that grime, oil, and dirt I saw that she was gorgeous physically. Not so much by traditional standards…but in a way that was all her own that I loved so much more. She was completely unique.
I waited until I was completely sure she was deep asleep and then gently lifted her up and carried her into my room. I pulled back the covers and then carefully placed her on the bed. I felt a bit awkward for letting her sleep in her only dress rather than her new nightgown, but I didn't want to wake her just so she could change and could think of no alternatives except for changing her myself.
In those days half of the things I had already done with her- sitting her in my lap for instance, were already considered pretty bad and inappropriate before marriage. Therefore, the idea of doing something like changing her clothes would have been completely unspeakable. I sighed to myself, longing to be closer to her, to see what was underneath her dress, to touch her.
But, of course, I did none of those things. Besides, I told myself, it isn't as if I hadn't already gotten a pretty good idea of what her body looked like when I was carrying her home in that soaking wet white practically see through old night dress. I already knew that she was beautiful, what need did I have to look further?
I covered her little body up with the sheet and covers on the bed and then retrieved the other blanket she had been covered in on the couch and added that as well to make sure she wouldn't be chilled in the night. Tucking her in, I smiled at her cute face and beautiful figure and allowed myself to kiss her forehead before backing away to stand at the foot of the wooden bed and watch her sleep.
For awhile, an hour maybe, she seemed peaceful other than the occasional cough… but over time I noticed how she eventually became balled up with her arms hugging her knees as I had seen her do before all the time in the asylum. It had been a gradual process, making me think that it was just a habit…until I started hearing her thoughts.
She was dreaming…no that was the wrong word, I realized as I listened on, she was having a nightmare. I tried to follow exactly what was happening. I saw that there were a lot of men- one of the ones I had seen and then several that I had not. It was as if they were mobbing her somehow in her room at the asylum and some were holding her down to her bed.
I pulled myself out of her dream for a moment to see that she was crying and beginning to groan in her sleep. Her newly cut fingernails clawed at her knees and scratched up the skin, drawing blood and making it more difficult for me to control myself. I wanted to wake her, but also wanted to know more about what was tormenting her so much.
When I concentrated on her mind again I could see that she was getting forcefully removed from a horse drawn buggy with two adults in the front staring at her. There was another girl in the back of the buggy that was screaming for Alice and the two were desperately trying to keep a failing grip on each others' hands. The man pulling her roughly away was the bearded man I had knocked out earlier. She scratched the man and he hit her hard across the face. Alice watched as the people I assumed were her parents held the young girl back in the buggy- she was struggling hard to break away from them and get to Alice.
Alice started to shake in her sleep and I pressed the covers over where she had knocked them away earlier. I decided that was enough. I didn't like to see her suffer so. I lightly shook her by her shoulders to wake her.
"Alice? Alice? It's okay. It's okay. Wake up sweetheart, it was just a dream." She stopped groaning and flittered her eyes open sleepily, tears still running down her cheeks. I stroked the side of her face and wiped them away with the back of my hand.
"Visitor?" She asked, as if she were surprised to see me and then very surprised at her surroundings.
I couldn't help but laugh at being called that. I nodded. "Yes. Are you alright?" I asked, concerned.
It took her a moment to fully wake up and adjust, but once she had she managed a very fake smile for my sake. She was still shaking, so I wrapped her up tighter in all of the covers before sitting down above them beside her, so that she could snuggle up to me. One more gentlemanly point deducted…in a bed with a girl while she is sleeping- I thought. I had always been so good in that department until now and was actually getting a bit disappointed in myself, afraid that I was taking advantage of her frail condition and past.
She quickly scooted herself closer to me and even went so far as to put her head in my lap, using it like a pillow. I ran her hand up and down her back, trying to soothe her, but she was still silently crying. I took her face very gently in my hands so that she could look at me.
"What's wrong?"
"Please, Edward" She seemed very afraid and desperate then, climbing up further on me to get closer. "You must promise me that you will never take me back to that dreadful place! Please, I can't go back there! Don't-"
"Shh! Shh. I would never ever let you go back to that place. Okay? You'll never have to see those people or be locked up there again." I soothed, still rubbing her back up and down rhythmatically. I tried to put her back down at my side and off my lap, becoming worried about our proximity.
But she wouldn't have it and refused to move from where she was-which was very, very close to me. I silently was thanking God at that moment that I had hunted just the day before yesterday. As hard as it was for me to keep control over myself, I didn't want to force her. She had already been forced around more than enough in her life.
"Edward, you must promise me. Please promise me!" Her voice was still frantic.
I nodded vigorously. "I promise, Alice. You're with me now and I'm going to keep you safe. I'll make sure no one ever hurts you like that again. I'm only sorry that I didn't get you out earlier."
Only then did her rigid little body even begin to relax. I looked at her, rubbing her back with one hand and fresh tears away with the other, just managing to smile for her. Really I didn't feel at all like smiling. I felt like going back to that asylum and massacring every worker there before going to kill her parents. But I knew that it wouldn't make anyone but me feel better and Alice needed me to stay here.
"I love you." She said, straight out and serious as could be for the first real time.
I did feel like smiling then, all of the sudden. She leaned forward as if to kiss me but I wouldn't let her. It was just too dangerous and tempting and I knew that as soon as I allowed myself to kiss her lips I would only want more.
"Do you love me too, Edward? Or is this just…" I could feel hear her thoughts become uncertain until she got a quick vision of me telling her what I was about to.
"You're my whole world Alice. I would do anything for you. Of course, I love you."
She managed to get herself closer to me. "You will kiss me." She said confidently. "I've seen it." She smiled like a jackrabbit.
I rolled my eyes at her. How could the same talent be so useful and annoying at the same time? "Alice, look at us." I motioned to our proximity together on the bed. "Think about how improper…"
She cut me off "Do you really think that I care one way or another about proper when I've just spent the last four years of my life in the same dark damp room without ever even a bath? Society turned its back on me, why should I go by it's silly rules?"
I had to admit, she had pretty good point. But that still didn't change anything. "Alice, I'm a vampire, I can't…"
"What? You can't do this?" Before I had time to do anything she leaned up and pressed her soft lips to mine, placing a hand at my chest. I was too shocked and was enjoying it too much to break away from her until she tried to deepen the kiss and I knew I had to. French kissing really isn't a good idea when you have a mouth full of venom.
I tried to stay calm and collect myself. She had felt so good. I had never wanted anyone for their blood or body or soul so much in my existence.
That had been my first real kiss…and she had kissed me. Huh.
I stared at her while she beamed up at me, obviously very satisfied with herself.
I couldn't help but grin.
