Ok, I don't know how I managed to do it, but somehow this is turning into double story. It should have been about OkiKagu teen and OkiKagu adult working together and getting over this arc. But somewhere along the way it started to be an arc where both OkiKagu live through 2 different arcs at the same time. Oh, well I still hope you liked it like this. Please enjoy!
CHAPTER 7.
If you can't win, then steal the price and run, Stat! No seriously never do that you will get arrested.
Snack Smile.
Everyone was gathered there, Otae, Kyuubei, Ayumu, even Kondo and Hijikata was there waiting for Gin and Shin to come. Well, they were shocked to see 2 Gin-chan's enter the place.
"Gin-san did you clone yourself?" Otae said with a smile.
"We have one too many idiots around here and now they started to multiply." Hijikata commented lighting a cigarette. Hearing that anger mark appeared on both Gins' face.
"This is me from the future assholes." Gintoki shouted.
Silver put down the bag with presents he was holding and approached Toushi. He put his both hands on vice-commander's shoulders and said with a crying face.
"Toushi, it's been a long time. We missed you so much." Silver samurai cried.
Everyone looked at them, even Gin-chan himself as Hijikata vein popping out shouted. "What the hell is wrong with you yorozuya? Finally lost it."
Silver stepped back taking out the frame with black ribbon that had Toushi's picture in it. "In two years you will die from a lung cancer. I told you not to smoke. I told you not to do that. Why Toushi? Why?" Silver cried more.
"NANI?!" Everyone shouted.
"I haven't seen you for three years now. Ah, it's so good to see my old rival. You have grown."
"STOP SPOUTING NONSENSE! HOW CAN I GROW IF THIS IS THE PAST?!" Vice-commander kept shouting.
"Toushi you should quit smoking. I don't want you dead." Kondo said with a serious voice, but there was tears and snot running down his face.
"THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT! BESIDES JUST TWO CHAPTERS BACK, THAT IDIOT BAKAISER TALKED TO ME IN THE FUTURE!"
Gintoki wiped his face and with poker face said. "I don't have come back to that."
Countless anger marks appeared on Mayora. "SO YOU WERE LYING! YOU DAMN JACKASS YOROZUYA, STOP TELLING LIES THAT WILL MAKE FAN GIRLS CRY!"
"Eh? So it was a lie?" Everyone looked at the perm head that was in front of the sign writing something. From Gintoki's confused face, but still dead fish eyes everyone turned their attention to the sign. It read:
Aoi-chan's birthday and Hijikata-kun's death celebration party!"
"THE HELL!" Toushi shouted, passing the Silver samurai and grabbing the other Gintoki by his collar with pissed look. "WHAT KIND OF A SIGN IS THAT? WHY WOULD YOU BE CELEBRATING MY DEATH? YOU WANT TO DIE BASTARD. WANT ME TO SEND YOU TO THE AFTER LIFE."
Gin-chan picked his ear, looking at Hijikata with poker face. "Calm down Oogushi-kun. It's not my fault that Silver head lied."
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Toushi swing his sword, but Gin dodged. Then vice-commander glared at both man and said. "Damn it, with two of them it's really hard to come up with enough come backs."
Devil vice-commander glared at the camera. "Hey you, Author! If you were bringing him in, then at least show me a little help and send my future here two. I can't keep up with two useless yorozuya's at the same time."
"It's not going to happen." Silver said picking his nose. "I wouldn't wait for your future if I were you. Bakaiser put him up to some business, so he won't come. Besides with two Sadist's, two Kagura's, two Gin-san's and two Mayora's it will be too crowded." Silver samurai said with bored tone.
"IT'S ALREADY CROWED!" Toushi shouted at the future yorozuya.
Otae clapped her hands as if she was a teacher calming the class and when she took their attention with a smile Mrs. Gorilla continued. "Now, then shall we prepare for Aoi-chan's birthday?"
Some run down building.
Bakaiser was standing above the mountain of bodies that he defeated in last 30 minutes and was holding one of the men by his collar glaring at him. "I'm asking for the last time. Who send you to fight me? And where is my wife?"
Man cried pleading. "I don't know. We were ordered to do this by some man, it was the first time I saw him. We don't even know who he is, but I guess he goes by the name Fox or something."
Bakaiser arched a brow. So it is indeed that bastard who's behind this.
"Please let me go. My mommy made a pie, so I want to go and eat it. It's my favorite, please. She will be angry if I don't go." Man said while crying with snot down his face.
Bakaiser smiled, the kind of smile that made him look like Kamui with his fake, trademark smiles. "Sure, I'll let you go…" And the next second they were standing on the edge of the cliff. "Off the cliff!"
Sougo let go of the man, so that he started falling while shouting. But then the rope on his leg pulled him up making him rise to the sky and then fall again. Man shouted. "Help!" And kept screaming like a girl.
Bakaiser looked at the man with an evil grin, but then turned around his face becoming serious. Damn you China, what kind of danger you got yourself into this time.
Flashback.
"Remember this Sougo Okita, one day, one day I'll definitely come back and take away your precious lover and everything important to you! Everything you were going to risk your life to protect! I'll take it away from you and then; you will regret what you did. You will regret ever meeting me and not killing me when you had a chance." Man said with an evil smirk as he was pushed inside the patrol car.
End of Flashback.
"You're an idiot China beast, would it kill you to listen to me at least once?" Sougo sigh as he started walking back, to keep searching for Kagura, well, at least now he knows who's behind this.
Aquarium.
In front of the big aquarium Kagura and Aoi were sitting around a small campfire and pretending to warm up. Guard approached them with a troubled look and confusion.
"Um, miss you can't camp in here. You're disturbing the other customers."
Kagura looked at him with pleading eyes, wrinkly and dried face, that looked like she has not eaten in months. "What are you saying aru~? We have to eat something o we will die aru~ Do you want to become a cause of murder of the young girl aru~?"
Guard sweat dropped. "Um, like I said we have a café in here, you can't camp this is…"
Before he could finish Sougo approached them holding a huge fork with a big fish sticking to it. "Oi China, we have a dinner. I catch big one this time."
"Bravo Sadist, for once you did good." Kagura and Aoi fake clapped with dead fish eyes.
"STOP IT!" Guard shouted. "WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS IS THE MOST NATURAL THING TO DO? THIS IS AN AQUARIUM FOR LOOKING AT FISH NOT CATCHING THEM! ARE YOU MORONS? THIS IS NOT A CAMPING PLACE!"
"Want to join us?" China looked at him confused, but really bored picking her nose.
"NO!"
"Eh? Is there a sign that says we can't eat this fish? Fish are for eating you know? What are you collecting them and then sell it to the fish shops when they die." Kagura asked innocently looking for a pan to put the huge fish.
Guard looked at them with water drop falling over his head. "You don't usually have to put it in the aquarium, you know? People don't usually fish here."
"Then they are idiots. There are some good looking fish in here." Sougo said sitting down.
Kagura took the fish wearing a sushi bar chief costume and with professional kind of funny moves she wanted to cut the fish when guard pulled the fish away shouting. "I said stop it! This is not a picnic!" Then feeling the fish already loosing last of his life force guard run with the fish towards the tank.
"Now we don't have a dinner." Kagura sighs with disappointment. "Sorry Aoi-chan, I'll… EH?"
Kagura jumped up looking around shocked as she realized that Aoi was not there sitting beside her. "Sadist, where is Aoi?"
Sougo frowned also standing up to look around. "Can't believe you lost her China."
Being already worried Kagura didn't care for a punch line, but ran around the place looking for the little Sadist Yato girl. "Aoi-chan! Aoi-chan! Where are you?"
"Mommy~ Papa~" Aoi called out.
Hearing her voice Kagura froze and sigh with relief as she saw the little girl in front of the big signboard. She runs to her future daughter hugging her. "Don't ever do that Aoi-chan. Scared me to death."
"Mommy, this~" Aoi pointed at something.
China looked with confusion at the signboard. "What is it?"
"It looks like that necklace catch her interest. It's kind of familiar looking though." Sougo said as he approached them with poker face.
Kagura looked carefully at the necklace her eyes widening with realization. "That's my necklace. But wait, mine is at home. How?" She corrected herself looking confused now.
"Mommy necklace~"
"Eh? Mine?" China looked at it once more this time recognizing the initials that were printed on the backside. "Ah, Deva's!"
"How do you know it's hers? It can be any random thing, there bunch of…"
"It is hers. It has initials S.O engraved on the backside of it see? Mine still have baldy's name on it." She pointed at the picture. "Besides I can recognize what's mine."
Sougo scratched his head with bored expression. "Its just a necklace China, you will buy a new one."
"It's not just a necklace, you jackass. That's a momentous from my mother and a traditional item."
"What's one has to do with the other?"
Kagura sigh. "We Yato's don't wear any accessories and rings since that will be on the way of a fight, so every family has a special necklace with symbol of the family engraved on it. My mommy and daddy both had flowers on theirs. Well, when we get married parents pass those pendants to their children, so that younger once can engrave the name of their lover on the back side of it. It kind of marks us as the others, well like telling everyone who you belong to."
"Are you playing dogs and owners?" Sougo deadpanned, but jumped in time to dodge Kagura's parasol that almost crashed his skull.
"Before Kamu-nii left home, he took pappy's necklace and I took mommy's. Mine is still hidden in my closet; I don't really know what baka-nii did with his though. Anyways, Bakaiser had silver necklace, similar to this, on him, that was one of the reasons why I believed him when he told me who he was."
At that Sadist arched a brow. "But I'm not a Yato and I don't ever remember having such a girly thing on me." And another swing came towards his head, but he once again dodged it.
Yato female gave a troll smile towards the guy. "But Bakaiser said that you almost begged me to make a replica of mine, so everyone will now about us. You are such a jealous guy Sadist. Admit it, you're crazy in love with me."
This time it was Sougo's turn to swing his sword that Kagura dodged and the battle begin. Aoi-chan was still standing before the board and looking at her parents, maybe she should make them kiss again.
Three hours later.
A big crowd was gathered in the main hall with a huge stage in the middle that was decorated with hearts and broken hearts.
"Well, now…" Narrator began. "We'll be starting our annual unique competition that we hold in the aquarium every month, that's called "I hate you more than you hate me", this is where married couples not only fight to show their love to each other, that would be boring." He made an unpleasant face and crowd agreed.
"They also fight to show their hate and all the unpleasant feelings towards each other. Now then we have three couples in here that will be fighting with all their might, showing just how much they hate each other. For the big price they have to go through few obstacles and show us who hates who more, so that in the end we can ask them the important question."
"And our contestants are: Hiroshi-san and his wife Aki, Saki-san and her husband Shiiba and then finally, today we actually have a newly wed couple in here. Makes you wonder why they married if they already hate each other?" Narrator commented and crowd laughed. "Sougo and Kagura."
"Now then lets see who hates their partner more and who will get the big prize. Let's start!"
"So why should I even get involved in this competition with you China?" Sougo asked with his usual dead panned voice.
"Shut up, Sadist!" Kagura said with pissed voice. "We have to get that damn necklace back. It's a momentous of my mother and Aoi-chan wants it."
"Its your necklace you get it."
"I can't just steal it, you bastard! Besides this is a perfect competition to see who hates whom more, don't you think so?"
Okita yawned. "Not interested!"
"One of the prizes is this brand new bazooka with some extra features. Especially for the people who wants to kill their vice-commander." Narrator said winking at the crowed.
Kagura looked at the man with empty look. This sounds like it was planned. She turned to Sadist and wasn't surprised to see him grin like a devil. He was interested all right.
"First, tell us how long have you been married and if you have kids. Why did you join the competition?" Narrator asked the couples with a huge smile.
"We have three kids and we have been married for 8 years already. We just decided to check, it seemed fun." First couple said.
"We're married for 10 years now." Second couple started. "We have a 5 year old son, we're here for the money."
Crowed clapped and narrator turned his attention towards the young couple. "So we now that you're newlywed's, so there no kids, but…"
"We do have a kid." Kagura interrupted. Before entering the competition they 'asked' (more like threatened) the guard from earlier to watch over Aoi, so she was now sitting with a guard on the bench close by, so her Sadistic parents can see her and watching the whole thing.
Narrator froze with confusion. "Eh? You do? How old is she?"
"Two." Okita said.
"Um? How long have you two been married?"
"5 minutes." They both said in unison.
Narrator gulped down still confused and then forced a laugh. "What a funny couple. Don't really want to say how long, huh? Ha-ha…" And crowd also tried their best to laugh.
"Well, then there will be three competitions and each will give you at max 5 points if you prove your hate, 3 if you make us believe that there even a little dislike and 0 if you start turning this into Shoujo manga. The audience is the once voting." Narrator wait for the crowd to cheer, but no one did, so he continued. "Now for the first one, we will need your kids on the stage."
Kids with cute older women that seemed to be the models hired by the competition sponsors bring the kids in, putting them on the little playground. Little once started to play and laugh and crowd went all sentimental for them.
"Now then," Host started. "For the first competition, we will have your kids say what happens in your family during the fights."
Kids started explaining, first one, 6 year-old girl. "When my mama and papa fight they always shout and then brake lots of dishes and then buy me a present."
"That's called bribe." Host mumbled moving to another one. "So what can you say?"
This time it was a 5-year-old boy. "My mama and papa fight in the bedroom and when I knock, they scream 'Not now!' and I go away, but papa always have that red dots on him."
Audience and narrator all gulped looking at his parents with empty looks. After few minutes it was Aoi's turn. Host sat near her and brings the microphone towards her. At first the Sadist Yato girl thought it was an ice cream trying to bite it, but narrator moved it away quick whipping Aoi's saliva from it.
"So tell us, what your mama and papa do when they fight?" Aoi looked at him confused and he changed the question. "Do you parents like to fight?" Aoi nodded with a smile. "What they do then?"
"First mama shout~ then papa shout~" Aoi started with a cute voice.
"Quite simple, ne?" Narrator interrupted gaining a glare from the audience with a long "Shush!"
"Then mama hit and papa hit~ Then~ Bang-bang. Then boom-boom. Then crash-crash." Aoi stopped taking a deep breath and with her cheeks pink continued. "Then we fix house~ Then papa kiss mama~ then mama shoot-shoot~ Then papa boom-boom~ Then papa chain mama~ Then cutting clothes~ Papa smile~ Mama red~ And mama scream…" Before she could say another word Kagura covered her mouth, blushing till her ears.
Narrator with confusion moved a step back from them saying to the camera. "We'll be back after the commercial." Crowd sighs with disappointment.
"Aoi-chan, don't ever say that out aloud okay?" After an understanding cute nod from the little girl China moved away, leaving her daughter to play with the kids.
Kagura stood up glaring at Okita who was unaffected and just standing dear with bored look. "Damn you, you Sadistic bastard! What the hell have you been showing to Aoi?"
"It's not me China. It was Bakaiser."
"Shut up! It will be you in the future! DON'T TEACH KIDS THINGS LIKE THAT MORON!" Kagura shouted and charged at him, with them once again starting to battle.
While her parents were indeed involved in another fight Aoi kept playing alone when the 6-year-old girl from earlier approached her. Aoi looked at her with her poker face that was similar to her father and returned to her game with toys.
"Humph! With someone as ugly as you I don't have to worry. I'm way cuter than you and besides my mama and papa are rich you know, we will win this no doubt." Girl said with a mighty voice.
Aoi ignored her and girl got pissed. "How dare you ignore me? I'm the number one beauty queen, bow before me."
Aoi stand up this time smiling like Kamui and approached the girl. "Okay." She pretends to bow down as she ripped the girls dress apart. Girl blushed screaming and run to her mother.
After a minute in were the girl's parents that came towards Aoi. "Hey, you what do you think you're doing to my daughter?" The girl's father said with pissed voice with his daughter hiding behind him and showing tongue to Aoi.
"What's going on?" Sougo approached them with poker face; Aoi smiled seeing him and run to hide behind him too.
"Papa~ they bully me~"
"Don't you dare to lie insolent brat, you were the one who bullied my girl." The man shouted.
In a second Sougo draw his sword pointing it against the man's neck with his crimson eyes glaring at him. "Don't you dare to raise your voice on my daughter, bastard!"
Mean gulped hard sweat dropping. His wife put a hand over his shoulder looking down at Aoi. "Leave them dear, those low class people who don't even know their place will never understand. They're just scum…"
She didn't get to finish as Kagura pointed the end of her umbrella at the woman making her froze in fear. "I dare you to repeat that again, bitch! What did you just called my family?" China's eyes were as well shinning with fury.
Woman shivered. "They're crazy. They're crazy. Dear called the police!" Man took out his phone shaking.
Sougo and China lowered their weapons, both smiling like troll. "Ne, Sadist they're calling the police."
"Ma'am, what might be the problem?" Sougo showed them his badge. "Shinsengumi first division captain Sougo Okita. How can I help you?" He said mocking.
The pair's eyes went wide as the narrator approached them. "What might be the problem?"
"This people attacked us. They want to win by using violence. They should be disqualified." Man said as he and his wife smirked as if superior.
"Now, now…" Narrator was troubled, trying to calm them down. "They didn't do anything right? So lets just warn them, warn."
"No! I want them kicked out or I'm calling my brother. You know who my brother is?" Women shouted. "His best friends with Shogun's right hand man's third secretary's uncle's second wife's brother's wife's cousin."
Kagura looked at Sadist with empty look. "Sadist I want to beat them."
"We'll be disqualified."
She sighs. "Let's just steal the necklace."
Okita smirked. "Like the idea."
In just one minute of time the whole place was in chaos as Sadistic family really teach those arrogant adults lesson and then took the necklace running away, oh yeah, they also grabbed the promised new bazooka, new DVD player, game center and many toys for Aoi. How did they run away with all that? Beats me.
THANK YOU FOR READING~
Honestly, the last two chapters are not coming the way i want to, but still thank you for all the reviews you send and for actually reading. I'll try my best. Btw I just read the new arc that started in Gintama manga, I'm having a nose bleed and so much laugh because I just love how everyone turned into hot girls, especially Gin-chan. But one question- WHY IN THE NAME OF MAYORIN, IS TOUSHI FAT!? *Laugh* Anyways, I once again realized that Gorilla-sensei is a genius. Thank you for writing Gintama, Gorilla-sensei!
Please read and review!
