A/N: I am giving fair warning. You may need tissues while reading this chapter. I needed them while writing it. This chapter is emotional and a little intense. I hope you enjoy.

Thank you all so much for the reviews! I love them. I get really excited when they come across. I do try to respond to each of you by PM if not please don't feel bad I love you it's just hard to keep track of them sometimes.

I have one or 2 more ideas….if you have any ideas as to what you would like to see happen please let me know. We aim to please :)

I walk out of our bedroom and listen to for the piano or any kind of noise that will tell me where Christian went. I see the small light on in Teddy's room. When I walk in Christian is standing by the crib with his hand stroking his son's cheek. Then he reaches down and lifts him up gently and cradles Teddy protectively in his arms. He starts to walk around the room swaying back and forth as he does.

"I Love you so much Teddy." And I can tell Chrisitan is crying.

With tears running down my face I walk quietly over to Christian, wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his back. We stand like this for several minutes.

"Christian, was you nightmare about Teddy?" I ask softly

I feel him tense a little. He lets out a heavy sigh.

"Yes." He says almost inaudibly

I squeeze him tighter.

He moves to turn around to face me. I release my hold on him enough to allow him to turn. When I look into his eyes I see fear and anguish. It brings fresh tears to my eyes. Oh my sweet Fifty, so tormented by a dream.

I pull Christian over to the rocking chairs. He sits in one and I move so I am kneeling in front of him in between his legs and I am eye level with him. Christian rocks back and forth staring at Ted.

"Christian what was your nightmare about? What happened?" I ask quietly while I place my hands on my husband's thighs

Christian closes his eyes tightly and scrunches his face, I know he is feeling pain and fear at the nightmare but we need to talk about it.

He lets out a long shuttering sigh and I can tell he is trying to control his sobs.

"Ana…"he sobs

"Baby its ok you can tell me." He is still looking at Teddy

"Ana I…I dreamt that…I dreamt that…" he sobs again

"Christian look at me." I command softly

He brings his eyes up to mine.

"Take a deep breath baby, its ok"

Chrisitan does and he calms slightly.

"Now baby tell me what the dream was about."

He takes another deep breath.

"I dreamt that you and Teddy were walking around the park. When all of a sudden you get hit on the head and are knocked out. I am standing off to the side of you both just watching. I can't get to you I can't move something was holding me and would not let me move, I can do nothing but scream and try to move. I was helpless. I can do nothing but watch as the person who knocked you out takes Ted and runs away with him. I have no control. My heart breaks, I can't breathe. I can't get to you. I can't get to Teddy and then he is just gone…."

He stops and takes another deep breath to control his tears again. I sit silently and continue to rub his legs trying to offer him some comfort.

"Then all of a sudden I am back there…" he sobs

"Back where baby?"

He brings his eyes to his son who is sleeping peacefully in his Daddy's arms, he stares at Ted for a moment before locking his eyes with mine again.

"Ana, I was back at the crack house…..I am there and so is Teddy and…and…and so are you." He tries to take a deep steading breath.

"Ana you were laying on the floor like her not moving, not breathing, just cold and not moving, and sweet Teddy here is on the floor, he is just a baby and should not be on the floor, he looks cold and scared. He is crying and crying and I can't get to him, I can't comfort him, I can't move. The person who took him, I think it's a man, he kicks Ted and I scream, he hits him, and I can't move. My heart breaks again. Teddy is just crying and screaming, he is hurt, he is scared, he doesn't understand, I can't move, I can't breathe. I have no control I can only scream but it doesn't matter. I can only watch as this person hits Teddy and then burns him…."

He breaks down again and I too am sobbing.

"I am sorry….I can't stop them… I can't protect you and Ted….I have no control… I am sorry….I am so sorry…I love you…I love Ted… and I can't stop him…." He cries and drops his head holds Teddy possessively and kisses him, repeating "I'm Sorry."

"Christian, baby, look at me." I say controlling my tears.

He refused to look at me.

"Christian look at me." I command softly. He slowly brings his eyes to mine again.

"Christian, listen to me. It was just a dream. You let your fear from today the feeling of not being in control take you back to a time when you weren't in control of anything. You are an amazing father. You have done everything in your power to protect Teddy." His eyes are locked to mine but I still see the fear and anguish and uncertainty lingering there.

"Do you remember in the hospital? Right after Teddy was born?" I ask

He nods slightly.

"Remember how Dr. Greene wanted to take Teddy to the nursery?" He nods again.

"You would not let her take him, Even though he was perfectly safe with the hospital staff. You were amazing when you told her that he would remain with us. You have been keeping Teddy and me safe from the very beginning. I know that you will never let anything happen to us."

I have to take a deep breath to control my emotions.

"Baby, I never have to worry about being protected. The things that happened before, they were bad and scary but I knew that everything would be fine. I knew you would always find me. Christian I never feel more protected and safe then when I am with you. When I am wrapped in your arms I know that no harm will ever come to me."

He nods slightly and I can see him slowly coming back to me.

"Christian, look down at your son."

He does and I can still see the tears in his eyes.

"He is sleeping soundly. He is in your arms and he feels perfectly safe with you. He knows that you are his daddy, that you love him more than life itself and that you will do everything in your power to keep him safe."

"Baby your nightmare was when you were a child. When you could not help anyone, it was when you needed it. You got help. Grace, your mom saved you. You told me once, when you went home with Grace & Carrick you felt safe."

He nods again returning his eyes to me.

"Christian, do you know why you felt safe?"

He just stares at me not saying a word.

"You felt safe because you were loved. I know you have a hard time accepting that, concept in your mind. However you know in your heart that Grace, Carrick & Elliot, loved you and then when Mia joined your family you knew she loved you and you loved her. You still love them and they still love you so much. You knew with them you did not have to worry about being left alone or going hungry. You were protected because they loved you and still do. I mean Grace still protects you. Remember your birthday?"

He smiles softly.

"Yes I do. Even though she was really mad at me she still came to my rescue and protected me."

"She always will baby. She is your mother and she will never let any harm to come to you if she can help it."

He smiles and nods again.

"That is how you are with Teddy. You will never let any harm come to him. He knows this. I know this. Deep down you know this too."

"Ana, Thank you. You have so much faith in me."

"I always will baby."

"I will protect Teddy and you with everything that I have."

"I know Baby. I am sorry for making you worry today. You just have to remember to discuss things with me. We can avoid so much pain, frustration and arguing if we just talk to each other."

"Fair point, well made Mrs. Grey" he grins

He is back! My Fifty is back. Thank God!

Teddy begins to wake up its time for him to nurse. I stand up and sit in the other rocking chair. Christian rises and hands Teddy to me. He moves the other rocker so it's across from me. As I nurse Christian just watches and another thought occurs to me.

"Christian, don't get upset but I have noticed that when you hold Teddy, or I ask you to hold him you seem to go out of your way to put on a T-shirt. Are you afraid to allow Teddy to touch you?"

He takes a sharp breath and freezes, but doesn't answer.

"Christian he is your son he is not going to hurt you."

He stares at me,

"Ana" he breaths "I just don't know. Only three people have ever touched me like that. Two of them… the touch was harsh, painful."

He pauses, closes his eyes and looks as if he is suppressing a painful memory. I wait quietly watching him.

"Ana you are the only one….when you touch me….Ana I am not afraid of you or your touch it's sweet, gentle, loving and I know you won't hurt me physically. I am just nervous, I don't know what to expect. I am not sure I can handle it."

I am crying again.

"Please baby don't cry I didn't mean to upset you hush baby."

"Christian don't you understand. Teddy will not hurt you. He is your son. Your blood. He loves you so much. You need this!"

"Ana…I just can't."

"Christian yes you can." I say forcefully but not in anger.

Christian just stares and I can see the fear has returned to his eyes.

"Christian take your shirt off now."

"Ana…"

"Just do it Christian." I command softly

He is frozen.

"Christian, baby its ok I promise you will be ok. Trust me."

He nods slightly and removes his shirt. I stand up and lay Ted on the chair so I can remove his pajamas, he is now only in his diaper.

"Hi my sweet boy."

He is awake for the time being. I pick him up and turn to Christian.

Christian's eyes lock with mine and his breathing accelerates.

"Baby if this gets too much, you tell me and I will pick Teddy up."

He nods again.

"Lay back." I tell him. He does.

With that I place Teddy directly on Christian's chest. He inhales sharply and squeezes his eyes close tightly and his jaw clenches. I take one of his hands and place it so his arm is under Teddy's bottom. I take his other hand and place it directly on Teddy's back. Christians breathing is shallow and erratic

"Baby its ok. You are fine. He won't hurt you. Baby just breathe." I say softly as I kneel in front of him and stroke his cheek. I move my other arm so that it is under Christian's arm that is supporting Teddy.

"Christian, open your eyes."

"No" he rasps his face contorting and jaw still clenched. I can see the tears falling down his cheeks.

"Christian, open your eyes."

"No…I can't."

"Baby….take a deep breath and look at me."

I see Christians breathe in and slowly open his eyes. They are filled with nothing but fear. His breathing is still quick and shallow. I stroke his cheek.

"Baby you are doing great. You are ok. Nothing is going to hurt you."

Teddy snuggles against his Daddys Chest and Christian inhales sharply again.

"It's ok love. He is not going to hurt you. He loves you so much."

"Christian I want you to look down at your son."

He continues to stare at me and then slowly moves his gaze down to his son. He inhales quickly again and lets out a slow deep breath.

I can see the tension leave his face and his body relax. His breathing is beginning to slow down.

"Ana….he's….he's looking at me." Christians says in awe.

"I mean he has looked at me before but…"

"I know baby it's amazing isn't it. He feels perfectly safe with you." I say as the tears run down my cheeks.

Christians breathing has returned to normal and his body has relaxed. Tears are still running down his cheeks.

"Thank you baby." Christian states softly.

I lean up and kiss his lips.

"Thank you, Thank you for bringing me to this spot. I can't believe how amazing this feels. I feel so much more connected to him. I love him so much Ana. I will love him and protect him with my life."

"I know baby. I know."

I lean in and kiss him again. I move to sit in the other rocker.

Christian is rubbing Teddy's back. Teddy lets out a yawn snuggles closer. I reach behind me and grab the blanket off the chair and place it over Teddy and Christian. I settle in the opposite rocker and just watch.

"I love you Ana."

"I love you too Christian"

"I love you Teddy" Christian whispers as Teddy closes his eyes, completely safe, completely comfortable in his father's arms.