Rifiuto: Non Miriena
"You are going to be a big brother." Just as Ziva reached out to brush take her son's small hand in hers, he got up, rushing from the living room. His bedroom door slammed shut behind him, and she winced. "That did not go as well as I expected." Tim glanced at her, taking her hand and squeezing.
"Let me go talk to him-"
"No, Tim. Let me." She suddenly felt protective of her son; she loved Tim, he was the father of her son, after all, but Tim hadn't been there for Asher's birth- thanks to their parents. He hadn't been there to hear his first word, or teach him how to walk. He hadn't been there to stem the tears or soothe the fears that had often gripped the little boy during the drone strikes in Israel. Asher had always turned to Ziva, because she had been all he had. She squeezed his hand before getting up and going to their son's room. Gently, she knocked on the bedroom door. "Asher?" No reply. After a moment, she gently pushed the door open, slipping inside. Her son was laying on his bed, his back to her. Silently, she went to the bed, perching on the edge. "Talk to me, my angel."
"You do not want me." He whispered. Ziva started.
"Where did that come from?" She asked, reaching out and laying a hand on his shoulder. He glanced over his shoulder at her.
"You are having a baby. Does that not mean you do not want me anymore?" Tears came to Ziva's eyes as she realized what he meant, and after a moment, she lay down beside him, wrapping her arms around her son and holding him close. Gently, she reached up, smoothing his dark curls off his forehead.
"Oh, Asher, my angel. Just because Abba and I are having a baby, does not mean that we are trying to replace you. That is the last thing we are trying to do. Abba and I love you, so much. And we just... we know this is a surprise. But so were you." She pressed a kiss to his head. "You were a shock. And when I found out I was going to have you... all I could think about was how Abba was not there... he missed so much. He missed feeling you move within me, and he missed your birth, hearing your first cries, holding you and looking into your beautiful face... he missed counting your fingers and toes and your first bath, and all the pictures. He missed your first birthday, and hearing your first word, teaching you to walk, teaching you with your letters; Abba missed all of that, because of our parents."
The boy shifted, turning so he was facing Ziva. "He did?" She nodded.
"Ken. He missed it all. And I know for a fact that he regrets every day he missed of those first eight years of your life. But he is making up for it now. Abba has made it very clear he is not leaving us. He loves us too much. And this baby... he is going to be here to experience everything with this baby, but that does not mean he loves this baby more than you. He just... he never got the chance I got eight years ago. He missed it. He missed everything with you. Asher, you are his, in every way. And Abba loves you and I more than life itself. He will always be here for us and he will always love us, no matter what. And we will always love you, you are our son. Nothing can change that. So this baby... it is just a new edition to our family. This baby will look up to you, and I expect you to be a good example, understood?" The boy nodded, laying his head on his mother's chest.
"I'm sorry, Ima." She held him close, pressing a kiss to his head.
"It is okay, my angel. It is okay."
Tim looked up as Ziva came back into the living room. "Everything okay?" She nodded, dropping onto the sofa beside him.
"Everything is okay." She whispered, laying her head on his shoulder.
"Abba?" They both looked up minutes later, to see Asher come back into the living room. Before Tim could say anything, Asher had climbed into his lap and curled into his side, resting his head on his father's chest, beneath his chin. "I am sorry." Tim glanced at his wife, before wrapping his arms around his son.
"It's okay, buddy. It's a normal reaction. I had the same reaction when your Aunt Sarah was born." Asher looked up at him.
"You did?" Tim nodded.
"I couldn't stand the thought of having to share my parents with her." Ziva was stunned; neither she nor Tim ever talked about their pasts, especially not around Asher. They were doing everything they could to protect him from the pasts that had so scarred them.
"Why did you change your mind?" Tim thought a moment.
"I saw her after she was born, and my mom let me hold her." He sighed, lost in the long-ago memory.
He watched with wide green eyes as his mother leaned close, holding the mysterious bundle. "You have to hold her head in the crook of your arm, and support her with your other arm also, Timmy. Okay?" He nodded, nervous as his mother gently laid the baby in his arms, and his father helped him hold her. "You're doing good, Timmy." She pressed a kiss to his head.
The baby looked up at him with blue eyes, and after a moment, he said,
"Hi Sarah. I'm your big brother. I'm gonna takes good care of you." With his father helping him hold her, he reached up, and she grabbed his finger.
"From that moment on, Sarah was mine. She was the most precious person in the world to me, until you and Ima came along." Tim whispered, pressing a kiss to his son's head.
