The Mario Gang's Wacky Vacation Chapter 7: A Cheap Little Soap Opera

(Upstairs in the house, Yoshi and Toad were playing Banjo-Kazooie. Oh, I forgot. That's a one-player game. Let's just say that Toad was at the controls and Yoshi was being the back seat driver.)

Yoshi: Jump over to that bouy now and save the jinjo.

Toad: Okay. Oops. I'm in the water.

Yoshi: Look out for the shark!

Toad: Don't worry. I got the jinjo.

Yoshi: Rusty Bucket Bay is hard. There should be an extra honeycomb piece in that shack over there.

Toad: Yeah. Whatever...

(Peach came into the room.)

Peach: Hi boys. Lunch is ready.

Toad: Weak! Peach! You made me drown!

Peach: Oh. Sorry. Lunch is now being served.

(Peach, Yoshi and Toad went to the kitchen. Bowser and Wario were sitting at the table, listening to the radio. Wario was soaked from head to toe because of Mario.)

Wario: What about AC/DC? Do you have anything against them?

Bowser: What about them? They're da bomb!

Wario: Okay. I'll turn this knob and...

Bowser: Oh no! Not Spice Sluts again! Yaaargh!

Peach: Will you two cut it out?

(Peach took two plates off the counter and gave them to Yoshi and Toad.)

Peach: Here you are, boys. Macaroni and tuna.

Yoshi & Toad: Sweeeet...

(Yoshi and Toad went into the living room. Mario, Luigi, Waluigi, and D.K. were watching Blue's Clues. They looked like they were being hypnotized by it.)

Yoshi: What in the world?!

Mario, Luigi, Waluigi, & D.K.: The...cuteness. Must...watch...the...cuteness.

Toad: Wow Yoshi. I thought your cuteness was hypnotic, but this is totally screwed up.

Yoshi: Maybe we should eat this upstairs before we get hypnotized

(Yoshi and Toad went upstairs into the boys' room....only to find that Bowser was up there playing Super Mario 64.)

Toad: Bowser! My game! What have you done?!

Bowser: Did you really want to play a Banjo game? Didn't you hear the gossip about what Peach and Banjo did to Luigi?

Toad: Bowser, that wasn't gossip. Peach and Banjo really did turn Luigi's life into a living hell.

Yoshi: Yeah. I was there.

Bowser: Exactly what happened?

Toad: Let me put it this way. Sleepless nights, slavery, and other bull shit.

Bowser: Um...

Yoshi: Actually, I think the story begins at Mario's Pad.

Bowser: Mario's Pad? But that got torn down years ago.

Yoshi: Exactly. Mario and Luigi were still in the house when it happened. Or so they said. Anyway, they were in the house when some contruction workers tore it down. That forced them to live with Peach in the castle until they could get a new house. Now Banjo was already living there and seemed like a nice guy.

Bowser: Dude...

Toad: I know. It's terrible. Peach and Banjo overworked Luigi. They didn't even bother Mario. Just Luigi. They worked him all day and wouldn't give him much of a chance to sleep at night. But during the, very little, free time he did get, he mastered a couple of attacks. The Luigi Cyclone and the Fire Uppercut. And during this time, Mario was getting more and more pissed off at Peach and Banjo. Then it happened......a great......fight......he did......was blown away......really cool......then she......tried......didn't work......was defeated......awsome.

Bowser: Come again?

Yoshi: What Toad is trying to say is that one day just outside the castle, a fight broke out between Luigi and Bowser.

Bowser: Oh yeah! Showdown!

Yoshi: Banjo resorted to using moves like scratch and bite while Luigi...well...I'm sure you know how he attacks. It was cool too. Just as Banjo had Luigi in a bear hug, he lashed out his right arm, aimed at the face and blew Banjo away with a Fire Uppercut. Don't know where he landed either. Then Peach came out and challenged Luigi. Like Banjo, she scratches, but she had another "attack"...Hair Pull. Luigi hated that. He's really picky when it comes to his hair. You should've seen the look on his face. The pain...the anger...the really pissed off look he has in Super Smash Bros.!

Bowser: Ooooh...scary.

Toad: You should've seen Mario too! Boy, I've never seen him so mad. Reminds me of a Primape with a rage attack.

Bowser: Sorry. I don't do Pokemon.

Toad: Believe me, it's pretty bad.

Yoshi: Yeah. Mario hit Peach with thee most awsome Trip Attack ever, then Luigi smacked her around with the Luigi Cyclone attack, then used used all his strength and Bowser Tossed Peach square into the castle wall and knocked her out cold. His two and a half years of back-breaking slavery were over.

Bowser: Er...Bowser Toss?

Yoshi: Luigi picked up Peach, swung her around and threw her.

Bowser: Whoa. Cool. But still, I didn't know he could do that.

(Just then, Luigi, himself, walked in.)

Luigi: You didn't know I could do what?

Bowser: Um...get so many coins on Tiny Huge Island. I'm still trying to beat your score.

Luigi: Oh, I thought you guys were talking about something that would make me mad. See ya.

(Luigi left.)

Bowser: That was close.

Toad: Yeah. What ever you do, don't mention this to him. He's really sensitive about it.

Bowser: Okay. Huh?

(Luigi walked in again.)

Luigi: I forgot to tell you guys something. Mario and the others are still hypnotized. I turned the TV off, but they won't snap out of it.

Bowser: I'll help you out.

(Bowser and Luigi walked out. Yoshi and Toad stare at each other in silence for a minute.)

Toad: You know, Banjo sucks dick. He can kiss my ass for all I care.

Yoshi: Yeah... Did Bowser believe us?